Purple. Purple surrounds my vision, my mind, my soul. Once again, I am here – the bastard watches me with glee. To flee this place is an impossibility, but with Savra at my side I… am invincible, right? That is right, right Savra? Savra? The ground is hard and cold against my knees. Looking around, the ground is black. Unrelenting, unwavering, and expansive – yet I am unable to make sense of it. Who am I? What am I doing here? I am Fa Fumerunner, yet my body is different. I was just about to be attacked and yet here I kneel, surrounded by the accursed purple once more. I was living a life that is a lie, yet now I am in a truth – or is this a lie and soon I shall be shot down? Will I be sent to the Death rows march, or am I already on it once more? Death should have been a mercy, a way out and yet I am back. Back in spirit yet not in body.
“Welcome back, Gan Galeweaver. You are looking good, I see that your journey to the road was swift and without delay. Excellent, for you do know what would happen if I were to leave and look for you.”
The bastard is speaking, how unfortunate. I had almost forgotten this fool.
“Oh… interesting. Might that be you, Fa Fumerunner?”
Of course it is me. Gan Galeweaver is no more. He is no longer. He is merely I, Fa Fumerunner. How did I get here? I was just about to be attacked in the plane of purity-
“How did you get here indeed. I could hide it and let you uncover the truth, but that is long-winded yet the torture of not knowing what happened and for what cause you are back, is also quite tantalizing. I shall give you a piece of the puzzle; a drop of water to water the garden of your mind.”
I know I’m trapped once again in this annoying place, but my curse is gone. I am not the weak man I once was – no, I am strong once more. A monster cannot defeat me anymore. Death cannot find me again. I have ascended and returned to this foul and abysmal planet.
The bastard laughs in twisted symphony. It takes long drags of breaths and laughs simultaneously. I cannot help but laugh along; what a stupid creature this is.
“So, do you remember what I had told you before?”
Hmm… Gan’s memories are in my head, and yet they are dark. Foggy. Locked behind a cage that cannot be cut through by any mere blade – Savra is my guide, my dear, my love and has brought me back. Why should I question such miracles?
“I shall take that as a no. Unfortunate. You will have to ask Gan yourself if you are to figure everything out. Alas, I am truly, honestly glad you have returned, yet this is not your soul quite yet. You are… a memory. Savra’s memory. You are here, forged by a blade that was forged from a soul – quite the interesting cycle, no? From dreg to dreg… quite poetic, is it not?”
A memory? I am here, alive and breathing. I can feel my heartbeat. I can act to different stimulations. I am able to think new thoughts – how can that be anything but life? Maybe I am based on a memory, but no know is better than my one true love.
“Well, I think that is enough of a piece. Do make sure to let Gan through at some point, for his curse is also quite the blessing, and you can only get a trace of it. You will never know what is real and what is fake. You will never know if you truly walk this road or if you are still surrounded by guards, ready to fight. By nature itself, you don’t even know how we are talking right now. I look forward to our chats. I look forward to experiencing the world once more.”
Experiencing the world once more? You are a fucking monster of untold power, how have you not just left? Stupid creature, if I were in your shoes, I could have taken over the world by now. I could have done it all and yet you stand there, talking to me about being a memory and needing to connect with Gan, I-
Metal clangs against the floor.
I scream.
I open my eyes – Savra is on the ground – I must hold her once again! I need to, please – the futures are coming back and I can see and feel and taste and experience them once again, and I… I feel a clawing at my mind. Where am I? What am I?
“Gan Galeweaver, keep your hands above your head.”
I can do nothing but follow their orders.
“I… I am so sorry. I don’t know what came over me there. I was just in the plane of pleasure and then somehow ended up here… I… I felt like I needed to come up here-” Waterdrops land on my head… rain? I look up… no… no please – blood? BLOOD?! “What did I do? What happened?”
“Gan Galeweaver, you killed a guard in cold blood with that dreg blade.”
Savra… she lied to me. This is not a partnership, there is no love – she wanted to ruin me. To make me… to turn me into a killer. To turn me into… the one I hate the most in this world. Into Fa Fumerunner. My brain suddenly feels like it is going to split open – there is a clawing in my frontal lobe. I blink; the light shifts. Wind fills my senses. My body slams against a cold, hard object; the ground. I squeeze my skull, stopping my brain from popping out. Footsteps surround me. Everything becomes a blur of colour, noise, and pain. I feel myself being carried in every direction all at once. I feel myself being killed in all number of fashions and yet, the most consistent future seems to be one where I am in cuffs and sat down on a chair before a captain. The captain looks at me with deep contemplation, discomfort, and hatred. I did kill one of their own. Resting in front of me, just out of reach, is Savra – the bitch. Another migraine – mercifully quick this time. A warning shot.
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“Gan Galeweaver, do you know how many guards you killed?”
“Ummm… I… sorry, I really truly didn’t mean to. Please… please just kill me. End my life. Stop me from causing harm again.”
“That was not my question. Answer the questions I pose, Gan. That is an order.”
“Yes Captain! I… I do not know the number. At least one, but there easily could have been more. I will say two? Guards normally work in pairs at least, so I killed a pair?”
The captain shakes her head “It was one guard. A good guard. Their family are about to be delivered news so horrible it will shake them to their very foundations.”
“I… what can I do? I will do anything, please! Please just tell me what to do. Command me on what my next action is. I don’t know anymore, I thought I was doing a good thing. A good job. I thought it was in my right to act how I did but this… this was not in the plans. This was not in the books. I am so sorry – please!”
The captain nods “Very well, I will give you a command. You were commanded by another guard to enter Langnet’s road and continue the Deathrows march once again. That is what you shall do.”
I swallow. I sweat. A cold shiver runs down my spine. My hairs stand on end “Please, anything but that. I will do anything – clean toilets without sleep until I die without getting paid. I will do the most horrible and deadly jobs, anything but… anything but that. I cannot return. I must not return. If I return I… I don’t know what will come back.”
The captain looks at me without even the slightest hint of understanding or care for my words. Their stern expression does not crack or break with my whimpering.
“Gan. Hold that knife for me.” They push Savra forward. This bitch, I will never but… a command is a command. I shall do this, at least the captain will look at me in a better light if I do without question. I grab Savra from the table. Cold chains wrap around my consciousness. Darkness.
Oh, it is absolutely glorious to be back. A dark void, as pleasant as that is, is not a beautiful place to be. My love, thank you for returning me. A memory, the bastard said.
“I am no memory.”
“I did not think you were, Gan.”
“I am no Gan. I am beyond that, I have ascended and returned, unlike your foolish parents that must have abandoned you at birth. I cannot fathom why you did not take Savra from my grasp, and I do not know why I was frozen for so long but here I am.”
“And who are you?”
This must be a captain. They definitely look like one, and have the stone-cold face of one. I did torture a captain to death once, yet they did not make a sound. I never kidnapped a captain after that, I mean, where is the fun if it's basically a fleshy bloody doll? I need excitement in my life.
“I am your worst nightmare.”
“Tell me your name, or I will have you killed here and now.”
“And how will you do that?”
“I will have guards shoot at you until your body is a mass of blood and arrows. You shall be an unrecognizable form by the time we are complete – now tell me. Who. Are. You?”
“Oh, how poetic. That was quite the beautiful description – I shall tell you since you have gotten me all excited for bloodshed now. I am Fa Fumerunner of course, a pleasure to meet you once more.”
“Fa Fumerunner? You are dead. This must be a mental illness – split personality syndrome triggered by the picking up of the knife… tell me, how many guards did you kill before you were surrounded today?”
“I killed one, and how beautifully he bled.”
The captain leans forward, just out of Savras range, unfortunately.
“You are Fa Fumerunner, the generational killer.”
“Yes, now stop with the stupid questions. Why even ask me such things? You should be able to hear my voice and know, don’t you all?”
The captain shakes their head “Last I heard, you were shouting about wanting to change the world for the better. I heard you let go of your blade, discarding it to the ground. I heard you swore off killing. Tell me, you could have killed both guards and hid away. Why didn’t you? You have done that before.”
“Why didn’t I? Well, the answer is obvious…” Why didn’t I? “…to spread misery.” That is a lie. I have no idea why I didn’t. It would have made much more sense to kill the both of them and disappear into the shadows. I could have gotten to one of my old unknown hideouts and waited for a while. Trained my body to perfection once again and make my return. Why didn’t I?
“Your voice is filled with doubt. Again, why didn’t you kill both?”
“I… because… it was because… because I… fuck you, you don’t know anything about me. You are just a disgusting guard. A dog – no, a dog has a purpose. You are a flea, a mosquito – an annoyance to all that should be exterminated from this world.”
“Talk as you might, but only one guard was killed.”
“Ah, I remember now! It was because I did not want to throw Savra, such an act would have been disgusting. Imagine her, out of my grasp. Such an action would defile the air of this wonderful plane with impurities.”
“What happens when you let Savra go? You did it before. Drop the knife, Fa.”
“No.”
“Drop it.”
“No.”
“You have three seconds, if you do not, you shall be executed right here and now.”
“Fine fine.”
No. Do not let me go again.
Savra, my love, I understand that you don’t want me to let you go, but we are lovers and shall return together in a flash. I caress her gorgeous blade and put her on the table. I… cannot let go. I must not let go. I must let go – I need to! I… the captain wrenches the blade from my grasp before I can respond – Captain?
“Sorry captain, did I pick the blade up wrong? It has only been a few moments, why did you snatch it away like that?”
The captain sighs and shakes their head “Gan, I shall tell you the truth. You are Gan Galeweaver when you are not holding this blade. You are Fa Fumerunner when you do.”