A purple blur, that is what I remember. Purple wraps around my senses, with only a thin line of black anchoring my sanity. This felt different, from what other criminals have said, Langnet’s road starts off simple enough, and then it slowly twists minds – tormenting bodies and souls. That is what I heard. But this is different, this started off where it normally takes days to achieve. What did I do to deserve this? Why would I be given such a brutal curse – I can still see futures, and I barely know what is real or not at this point. I can feel the pain of poisons, knives, arrows, swords and all manner or tortures from unimaginable futures where such things occur. I wonder what the other curses would have led to. From what was said, I think my angle was wrong. Death is not the aim, but an outcome. No, it is torture. It is torment. It is agony – agony that challenges the very soul of an individual. Agony that melts a mind, like heat to metal. Yes… I am at an anvil where my soul is the metal, and my body is being pounded and folded. When I close my eyes, all I can see is purple and black. The red of my blood that is permanently flying from my body as I am slaughtered once again in a future that might occur contrasts nicely with it. The silver room I seem to be in, if this even is reality and not an unknown future, is nice. Surprisingly so. There is a voice that keeps cutting though my mind. It drags me, holds me, grounds me.

“…Gan… Gan!”

That voice… it sounds familiar. Like the taste of sugar in coffee. Like the smell of freshly made bread at a bakery. Where have I heard this before? That name too, it sounds unmistakably real. I cannot help but turn in its direction. Perhaps this is merely a future, more cruel and real than the others – but one that will end shortly, and reveal the endless road that I now walk.

“Gan! I can see you looking in my direction. I can see you nodding along. I feel like you can hear me – tell me, what happened? Why were you in the road? Our captain here read the paper you delivered and locked himself up in his room. An emergency meeting was called. What happened? Please, you must remember me – we were like brothers in training! Remember, we promised that once our baggage was buried, we would meet up and start a regular job together. Carpentry, to build what others destroyed.”

Yes… I remember something like that. I remember a promise. I remember shaking a hand, and giving a hug. I remember that… I wanted to be in the plane of pastures not for revenge at the time, but for connections. The trees there – the weeds – they could all be used to make incredible things. Faces… names… smiles… laughter – happiness and dreams, oh it all feels so distant yet in my grasp. It slips from my gasp, and falls. Falls deep into a pit of darkness, where futures of houses burning and children screaming as my body is torn limb from limb fills my mind.

“…I remember that voice but little else. What is your name… friend?”

“You… Gan – what happened to you? My name is Triah. We met a while ago, back when you and I first joined the guards.” His voice shakes ever so slightly. It’s strange. I see his head explode. I see him burnt alive. I see the building explode – I see so many awful futures – so many unimaginable pains yet none of them involve him attacking me. None of them end with my death by his hand.

“Triah – I… thank you. There is relief in my visions, it is unique to see someone who doesn’t wish me death.”

“Wha-? Of course I wouldn’t want to kill you. Why would I ever – you need to tell me what happened. Please, Gan. I want to help.”

“You should not help me for I am a lost cause. I have done the unthinkable and this is my punishment.” Triah shakes his head, his eyes cutting deep into my soul. I can’t look at him, the… guilt? Guilt. Why guilt? Why do I feel such a specific emotion now?

“You have done so much good in your life – you were a key reason why Fa Fumerunner was captured and tried. You are the one that helped save countless lives. ‘The unthinkable’? If you felt it right to kill one person, if that is what you are referring to, then let us release you this very moment. You saved so many lives, I cannot imagine that the one you decided to kill was not ended for a good cause.”

“I… I killed Fa. I stabbed him in the gut. Ended that life-” there is… that sense of guilt, yet also one of jubilation now. Recounting that act, how can I not be happy? How can I not be thrilled that one who has killed, tortured, tormented and destroyed my life is no more. No longer. The watcher… that cruel being – Fa became good?! There are many futures where Fa was a great leader; a kind and understanding person who was elected until death. Someone that people respected, even with his dark past – no, such things are lies, futures that could be yet, there are so many futures where the world burns. The future could be so different if perhaps one of the people he killed was destined to create something extraordinary.

“So what? You killed Fa, that should lead to celebration! We should be cracking open the best booze available and partying for weeks. The world should be celebrating your victory, and yet here you are – your mind barely working. The unimaginable? Please! I can imagine myself doing the same thing with a smile on my face.”

There is truth to that statement, but… “You don’t understand, it was not my place to kill Fa, for he was destined to die in another way. I sped up the process, but in doing so voided a being work. A being that… is livid with my interference.”

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“A creature? What creature would be livid by your actions? So many die. So many are led to death – those who let their greed take over their minds, forcing families on the street with crumbs for sustenance while they gouge themselves on meats and breads. They sleep on beds bigger than houses while living in houses bigger than cities, all because they killed so many. Legally, of course – why aren’t they being punished? You did a good deed. They have done nothing but villainous acts and yet, continue to be rewarded.”

“Triah… I… such memories are beyond me. I am merely someone, no… something. I am something that has taken the place of Fa Fumerunner in Langnet’s road. I am there so that all are safe, yet I don’t know… I don’t know what is a lie, and what is a truth anymore. Why am I here? Who am I really? Why did I commit strange deeds? Speaking to you has given me clarity once more. I thank you; my mind was close to breaking but a few moments ago. I have a second wind – a moment to reflect.”

“A moment to reflect? Well, if that is what you truly need, please, take it. I shall stand guard – trust me; on my life I will stop any potential threats. Reflect in peace, my dear friend.”

“Thank you, Triah. Thank you.”

I close my eyes; the purple slowly washing away. Who am I? I am Gan. What am I? I am a person from a broken family – a family that was kidnapped, tortured and killed by Fa Fumerunner. I seeked revenge, and I finally got it. I was happy, and then realised that there is so much more in this world… so much that I didn’t account for. This does beg the question though – how did I even get there?

Moving from one station to another is quite an accomplishment. For a guard to be moved requires a decent amount of money for guides. You wouldn’t want a guard to be trained, ready to help all for them to die while travelling. But I was selected, fresh from training, and with barely any experience under my belt. Why? I did score highly, the drive from seeing my family killed did push me to greatness academically. I trained harder than any other… well, than most others. Triah… Triah trained just as hard. We both have chips on our shoulders. I can’t remember what his was – but why me? Why not him? Why not together? Even with great grades, experience is truly the most important thing, especially in the plane of pastures. One scratch and a village might be gone in mere minutes. Yet, without experience, I was selected. I traveled without a single hitch – unheard of, even with the best guides out there. Everything I did went perfectly – I was the luckiest man alive. No matter what I did, it was exceptional. I managed to help shut down organisations and in sparring, I cannot remember a fight that I lost. It was like I was being guided with each step I took. I used to think it was Gan’la itself, but now… now the acts feel so much more sinister. So much crueler. So much more menacing. Hungrier.

I was hungry for revenge, and again in an absolute stroke of luck, one of the guards that were there to unload the cart just so happened to sprain an ankle while pulling it over. Unable to walk or risk the blood, the job was given to me randomly. I was walking down the hallway when a guard ran up to me and I was commanded to unload the cart. I did, and saw the dagger in an unlocked box. I knew it was Savra, although I didn’t know the name until Fa was dead. It made no sound, yet it spoke to me. I knew what must be done. I knew this was the day for Fa to die. Then, out of sheer luck, I was appointed to be the guard inside. I was there to make sure no funny business occurred. When I saw the room… and his face – his sad, lonely, depressed, and broken face burnt my very soul. How dare life break Fa!? I was meant to break him, so I did. I broke him. I cut him. I stabbed him. Blood soaked the air and it was glorious, yet that was the wrong move. Life gave me a beautiful opportunity. I took it, and now I am pushed, forced to live a life of fear and disgrace.

I am not wrong for what I did. In war, people who kill others with bounties on their heads are celebrated. If you killed a monster, human or otherwise, you got a badge. My badge is a curse, heavier than the life I took.

Fa Fumerunner deserved death. I deserve to be celebrated for my actions, but because I ended his torture early, I am deemed a monster worthy of destruction. I am deemed the most awful of killers. I understand this now that I think about it, what I did was unlawfully give Fa freedom. He was never meant to be free – the deathrow's march is not an act of kindness; it is legal torture. A way to squeeze a soul from one’s body, and then to torment that soul until it is but a husk. Fa’s soul was exposed but I took the body. I let him escape his judgment. I gave him a way out, when the only escape was meant to be endless suffering forevermore. I did that. I should be punished for that. My revenge… I, in the end, was his savior and that is the greatest horror I could imagine.

Let my tortures come. Please, punish me for my wrongs. Please, let me march on the road he should have so my soul might burn as his was about to. I understand that I am but a speck, and now I have nothing left. I am nothing. I will be nothing. Every future has told me the same thing; I will die horribly, but I will love the fact that the end has come. I will adore the fact that I escaped my punishment. I can walk with pride now, for the final step will not make it my way. I will be free. I will have my revenge and freedom from this curse. All I can do now is smile and walk. Walk forward. Walk into the future that saves me.

Salvation is a form of destruction,

Destruction is a form of salvation,

My actions have taken a soul and lead it to corruption,

My torture is a steppingstone most brazen.

Who dares take my head?

Who dares end my march?

Who dares check if my blood is still red?

Who dares destroy the worlds arch?

Langnet’s road is just the beginning,

Langnet’s road is where the gods reside,

Langnet’s road is why I am winning,

Langnet’s road is where the vile are tired.

I will come up as pure and good,

He will be reborn as he should,

I will come up as just and great,

He will be reborn and torture await.

My path is clear to me,

The mists have washed away as the world listens to my plea.

A monster he is and a monster I will be,

The mists have washed away as the world listens to my plea.