There, before me, is a pin dot in the sky that tears through the clouds and heavens as it fills my eyes with a blinding light. For so long I was walking in darkness, the mere thought of light was foreign to me for a time yet now I am here, bathing in it. My very bones begin to absorb the glorious warmth that projects down upon my now glistening with sweat skin. I take a deep breath; I had almost forgotten what this was like. To breathe. To feel. To exist without fear. The sun's magnificent rays burn away the darkness that clings so desperately to my very heart and soul, and gives me clarity. For once, I cannot see the futures. Sunlight is truly a magical thing – it exists and many can explain what it does, yet how many can truly explain how it got there? How could something that incredible exist? It is strange yet beautiful in every way. I wonder if it has a soul - if it watches over us and helps the poor foolish specks of dirt that squabble about meaningless events in the grand scheme of things. I wonder if it would feel the pain I have been through and understand, for it has seen all and been around since the beginning of time itself. The sun gives life, yet also takes it. It gives warmth and caresses our bodies from skin to bone. I cannot help but smile standing here, staring up into the sky. I should look away, yet… yet I know what will happen if I do. The moment my gaze strays, the moment I turn my attention to this cruel world, everything will return to my twisted and torturous normality. The pain, suffering and anguish will consume everything I desire and stand for once again. Sun, can you guide me? Can your light scare away the dark, or will you just make the shadows that cling to me that much longer and more intense? You give, and you take. I am but your humble servant, please make my future merciful. For as minuscule and worthless my existence is in the grand scheme of things, it is my existence. My experience. My memory. What is my purpose for existing if not to use my existence for something? To change the world? I worry it has been too long, yet there is still a chance – the potential that I might be free, that I might breathe easy. That I might not have to cry about the terrors of Langnet’s road, and of my misfortune. I was a fool, an idiot, and a coward. If only I… I… I thought – waited – anything! But no, I ask for mercy for I cannot take this torture anymore. I have lived in constant torture for so long, please. Either kill me or relieve me of this pain. Please.

“…Gan Galeweaver, are you okay?”

I blink a few times while instinctively nodding. This voice, I have not heard it before. My eyes slowly adjust to the figure before me that morphs from silhouette to human in a wave of colour and blend of light.

“I’m… just tired.”

“That is to be expected, welcome to the plane of potential! Your story has made the rounds and spread like fire through a dry bookshop. I just wanted to say, while what you did lead you to a terrible fate, there are very few people who blame you. What you did was not legal, yet it was right. You got your revenge, and if this was a war, you would be held up as a hero.”

This person is… confusing. Contradicting everything I have ever thought – wait. They are confusing, and I am not sure what they are about to say. Outside of assumptions, I cannot predict what is about to happen. They are not jumping at me and shredding my intestines over my spine. They are… normal, as they once were. The curse… it is gone? No, it couldn’t just be gone. For it to be gone would mean that my soul is no longer here. Has the sun truly been my salvation? Could I-

“…and so that’s what we need to do now – Gan! You look like you’re about to fall asleep, did you hear what I said?”

I nod instinctively once more.

“What did I say?”

“That you saw me as a hero?”

“And after that?”

“That… that we need to do something?” they sigh and let out a low chuckle. I jump – something hits my shoulder. My heart races – an attack? What is it? I leap back – its their hand. A hand that was placed on my shoulder. I truly am a broken mess, huh?

“A…are you okay, Gan?”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t catch everything you said and… well, the road is treacherous. I am still a little jumpy.”

“That is quite understandable. Do not worry, walk with me and you won’t need to think about what’s happening. Ask me anything you would like, and let me lead you to where you next need to go.”

This person… their voice is low and gravelly. Masculine and caring. Their eyes speak of a warmth that is nestled and flourishing deep in their soul. A garden of good wills and honesty tended for by one who is optimistic about life. How jealous I am, a cursed soul walking next to a beam of sunlight. He turns and starts to walk, what can I do but follow such a beacon of light and good?

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“Gan, I am curious if you don’t mind me asking, what is in Langnet’s road?”

Hmm, how should I answer that… “It is a cursed place. The road is completely made from Dreg, and your feet wear down from the pounding of walking on such a hard floor constantly. The sky is… surprisingly bright for a tunnel. There are… sort of stars, but not really. There is… purple light there that comes from, well it comes from something.”

“Something? You have piqued my interest there!”

“You might be interested, but no creature should ever know about that… thing. It does the world no good.”

“And it isn't something we can remove from the road? Maybe we could and then start transporting way more stuff! It would help everyone out and be a huge win-win, right?”

“You are… I do appreciate your optimism and cheerfulness. I will put this plainly, and then we won’t touch on the subject again. If… it was to be removed from the road, it would spell disaster for all. It is… angry. Vengeful. Deciptful. So very human yet not at all. Enough of that, please, ask me anything else.”

The person eyes me carefully and then… smiles? “I can see it’s tough for you to talk about what you went through. Trauma is a terrible thing, and of course, I will respect your space.”

This person’s happiness… a love for humanity that blankets their lens on the world – such positivity is both refreshing. And suffocating.

“I appreciate it. What is your name?”

“My name? El, El Fumewhisperer, at your service.”

“El, huh? A pleasure to meet you. If I might, where are we going?”

“Ah, yes I will briefly explain again. We are heading to the barracks where you will be given a room to stay in. A nice room. There was a meeting about you, and people voted overwhelmingly to put you in regular quarters. No chains or old food while you are here!”

“…why? I… I killed a guard.”

“We know, but we don’t know the whole story. The captains know everything and voted for you to stay in regular living quarters. Only a few people voted against you.”

“I… I don’t know what to say.”

“Then you don’t need to say anything at all. Just let me and the rest of the guards handle this. Think of this as our appreciation for what you have done.”

“So, people are happy I killed Fa?”

“Of course! Such a vile beast, such a monster should never have been given a single second once captured. After such horrors, you cannot repent. He stained the name of the Fumerunners, and brought dishonor to those, like me, who call Fael our starting place.”

Huh, El’s voice is strange. There is anger and hatred there, but it isn’t thick. He isn’t speaking from pure hatred, but from… love. It is as if he lost a brother – someone who might be awful but will always be accepted at home. I… I miss that voice. That tone. That desire to help. El takes his helmet off. Long, thick, and knotted strands of sweaty hair drape down from his scalp majestically.

“Sorry about the hot weather, I suppose a scorching day was potentially going to hit us today.”

I continue to walk, my arms swaying at my side. Tall grass gently rolls from a cool breeze. I… I cannot help but smile. Smile with truth and honesty. Smile with true, sheer joy. The sun… it really did save me. It gave me a second chance, and I will not squander it! My whole body is numb yet buzzing with excitement. I have a second wind, both with my energy and life.

El and I chat for a while, only stopping when we approach a beautiful wall. There is a beautiful door that opens to reveal a beautiful barrack. I am led to my beautiful room with… an actual bed with sheets. The door is closed behind me and… the key is in the lock on my side. I lock the door. I have the key; I have the power – I am locking the outside out.

I lie down and roll on my side, with sleep quickly taking me. Wait. My eyes shoot open – this is not right. My side – there is nothing hard there. No, there is nothing. I spring out of bed, my heart in my throat. I look around – nothing. No knife. The sheath isn’t even on my waist anymore. It is completely gone. Evaporated into nothingness. I stumble back, collapsing onto my bed; I am too tired. I will figure this out tomorrow. I close my eyes and this time, sleep takes me. Not just sleep, but a warm light.

Darkness swirls and takes over the world as my eyes close. Where are the never-ending futures? Again, nowhere to be seen. Nowhere to be felt. Nowhere. I am truly free! Darkness takes me, and for once, I dream.

I dream about… a man. He is lying on the ground, covered in one large piece of fabric. He looks over and, judging by his surroundings, must be near the entrance to Langnet's road. He pulls out something dark that gleams menacingly in the light – the knife! He takes a deep, shaky breath – tears run down his cheeks. He sobs while staring at the blade.

“I… I was so close – so close to doing something good. Something right – something! I thought in my death, I could give another life – give them the vengeance they so desperately wanted to move on – but no. No, I caused them misery. More misery than I ever could have. I selfishly let myself die and… and… the Watcher – it punished them for my actions. I… no matter which way I turn… I can never do good. I… I even killed again. I swore to myself I wouldn’t – Savra, how could you? How could you let me?”

He takes another deep breath.

“I cannot die, for if I do, others will be dragged into the road. I cannot run from it or bide my time. I have been given a body, a cursed reincarnation by the monster of monsters that dragged my very soul from its resting place and returned me to my suffering. No, there is only one thing left to do.”

He stands up and follows footprints. El and my footprints. He has no clothes, just a single torn piece of fabric haphazardly draped over his body.

“I must survive and return to the road. No more redemption. I must do as much good as possible, while never letting myself go. The Watcher, it gave me a second chance, and I will not squander it.”