Putting the blinds over my true-voice, I dig around my supply of tubes with a 'hmm' occupying my lips. What goes well with the outfit I want to wear while still having the practicality that I want? Should I forgo the quality I sort of need to put in my life and focus entirely on the vanity? Decisions, decisions.

Picking up one part of a pair I most often use for wet and slippery floors, I test their grip on my palm. Though, moisture... Maybe I should wear a coat or dress with under it? I could use this opportunity to buy some human clothes. My precious love might look at me more eagerly if I wear the clothes of a human petal?

He would compliment me on my looks, my sense of style. His hands would come close, ready to cup my supple body and its lust-inducing curves. He'll barely be able to control himself. I'll be irresistible to him!

"Hehehehehehe!" erupts from me, my steamy thoughts developing at an exponential rate. I am a genius. I've been so used to presenting myself like I normally would within and amongst my fellow aelenvari that the obvious has passed me by. My love was a human, a human male. It's not that he doesn't find me beautiful or alluring, the standards he is used to are just so different.

I should be imitating the styles he grew up around to get his attention!

But... I do not know what human petals I do know of wear to distinguish themselves from others. Let alone what the people of his home wore. I've never been there. Are they rather reserved in how they dress!? Do they value the idea of treating the body like a present, with its slow unravelling being the sexiest kind of seduction? If that is the case, then it's no wonder I can never get him into the right mood for what I want.

Yet, doing that would hamper my ability to get into the mood...? If I can't get into the mood myself, it's all pointless-

"Rianta-chira..." Einervaene lets out, her voice quaking.

I turn my attention towards her, only to be met with tears.

"I'm... I'm s-sorry..." she finishes, the details of her mind unable to bring anything to clarity for me. My pleasant thoughts are driven away, forcing me to confront something I cannot figure out a reason to care for.

"For what...?" I dare to ask, quickly minding my body to make sure I haven't hit her. No, that can't be it. I'm too far away and if I had, where was the appropriate noise? Being unable to decide if the pain is great enough to cry over is an odd trait of the person to have.

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"F-For causing you t-that injury!" she explains, her tone bordering on a sob-soaked yell. My confused expression straightens out and I look down at my hands. I... I am not sure what to say to that. Sure, sure, an accident occurred that provoked my wound, but I asked to get closer. Everything that happened was at my insistence, not hers.

It's hard for me to focus on the pain, anyway. The gilded-bark of this settlement healed my wounds to an appreciable degree. And, even then, my love saved us. My precious love kept us safe, taking blow after blow in order to do so.

Besides, he also displayed other heroics, giving me a long-lasting memory even with how recent it is. There's nothing to hold against her. Yet, if I were to explain my injuries and their actual origin, my love would be in danger. I will not act to his detriment.

"Do not worry about it, Einervaene, my dear. Everything is fine. The human gilded-bark healed me." I tell her, my voice soft and calm. Like the sorts I took with children destined to join me in the petals of the flower. Still, I can't help but rub the side where my injury is.

Pulling the hand away, I shake my thoughts clear. The less I think about the worst day of my life, the better. I do not want to consider that evening. I thought I had lost my precious love and that it was my fault...

"No! It's not fine! I nearly got you killed!" she frustrates, her thoughts unable to be like mine.

"Word of importance: nearly. The efforts of my precious love kept us both alive. Don't think about what might have happened, only what did." I point out to her, lingering my eyes on a pair of rose-gold tubes. I had nearly just put them back into the bag. I think... Yes, these are the ones.

These are to go with some clothes that I treat with more care than anything else...

"Just think of how my precious love, my beloved Nin saved us both..." I let out, my cheeks warming up as a perfect image of my first time lingerie fills my head. Oh, to have my love fill me in a different manner. My knees rub. A click of excitement makes me shiver.

This is what I will wear when I finally give away my virginity to him. The day I start my ascension into motherhood, honouring Motrtha through not only prayer, but true action. If I still was it, it would've been the day I fulfilled my duties as an ivy-mother... I am impatient for this day to come, more so with my love's death having once happened.

But, I understand quite well that my love will let me feel such pride and joy when he is finally secure with himself.

"Think of him...?" Einervaene mutters, her voice too close to what I don't want it to be. My ears twitch and my head follows it with a sudden shoot up.

"Not too much!" I scold, leaving her blank-faced with a slight backward-going angle in her spine. She straightens out, a curve coming to her lips. She begins to laugh, from giggle to hearty echo.

I frown at this change of emotion. She recognised my threat quite clearly, yet now she's laughing. She's mocking me...? No, this is her way of asserting a challenge. She is trying to assert that she will not obey my commands regarding -my- precious love!?