"So I am not allowed to wear my old clothes...?" I asked the council in front of me with a frown that held on to all of my despair. Small, timid expressions and movements also came from me as I barely held firm before the onslaught that was the demands of these people. And while their stares were pitiful compared to what I just had to endure, it was still unnerving.
"You are only allowed to wear them when you are not within the boundaries of Suhurlodst Academy of Arcane Learning and Understanding. However, you are also not allowed to leave until you are done with an entirely theoretical exam passing." a well-dressed man said in an emotionally devoid tone. But, it was one still filled with contempt as seen by the fact he wasn't even willing to look at me when he spoke. It was subtle, but I could see how his eyes looked off to the right.
"But why do I have to wear this...? You have just stated this is prisoners attire!" I said to them while I gently, but still angrily shook the outfit about. Its various metal pieces making high-pitched sounds as they rattled and clanged against each other.
"Because for all intents and purposes, you are one. One irrefutably destined for the executioners drop." another one of these men in front of me said. A sigh leaving me while I stared intently at the dark blue outfit. It felt wrong, it was so similar to my old overalls back home, yet, here, this was the attire meant for a man destined to die. Or, well, as they saw it, an abomination.
"When am I going to have to put it on?" I then ask with a quick look at my current clothes preceding it.
"Now, and be quick about it." the same man who just spoke told me as they all began to leave. Soon leaving just me and the many guards they had brought with them into the room. A slight twitch of the snout coming from me just before I began the process of undressing. I was making a lot of mistakes as I did so, mistakes I hadn't made before.
I wasn't sure what to do... I could hear their contempt with every second I had my carapace exposed like this and it was making me rush through it. And I nearly tore the clothes I was given in my rush to put them on. Not that it mattered, this outfit was clearly not designed for my body and the fact it dug in so deeply proved that.
"Now what?" I asked once I was done putting it all on.
"You save us the trouble and use this to kill your-"
"We take you to your dorm." a clearly higher ranked guard interrupted before the other finished. Yet, it was clear to me he intentionally chose to interrupt it once the statement was nearly done. Slowly nodding in response before I then followed them out of the room.
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"GO BACK TO YOUR CAVES, BUG!" someone shouted at me before a rock was thrown at me with such speeds it just shattered upon hitting my face. The force causing me to stumble a bit which then led me to one of the guards guiding me who then hit me back. A firm slamming of my foot stopping me from moving about anymore. A firmness I had to try and keep as I walked as they were not letting me stop either.
"Keep moving!" the guard most directly behind me ordered as the rear of his rifle slammed straight into my lower side. A brief glare forming in my eyes before it disappeared upon seeing the smirk the guard had when he caught sight of it. His hands flexing about his gun doing a lot to remind me of just how little justification he would need. A frail path I walked indeed...
What made it worse, however, was how they gave me explicit orders not to raise my hands ever during this journey to my future home. So that meant I just had to take every single bit of abuse literally thrown at me as I walked. And even with all these stones, little magical bolts and other items hitting me over and over to the point of drawing small amounts of my sickly yellow blood... The words were bothering me far more.
Mostly because I had no means to act out the anger that was boiling inside of me, I had to stay calm and collected in a loose sense. Otherwise, they'd shoot me here and now, they'd kill me and the world around me would cheer for my death. A death I had done nothing to deserve other than being a monster that I did not decide to be. In a way, I felt nothing but anger towards Frihdeicalkbr.
'Here, let me keep you alive so I can study you and expand our knowledge!' Yet, he was nowhere to be seen and I know for a fact he was a part of those who decided this for me. Under what principle did a man come to me saying he'd help me for his own selfish, knowledge-seeking goals... Only to then disappear and leave me in a situation where everyone did nothing but provoke me!? What right did he have to do this to me!?
I suppose it was pointless to complain at him, though, in my head or otherwise. Even if he made a strong claim in favour of me, there would be no way he could push through the meaningful stuff when everyone else is against me. As presumptuous as it may be for me to do, I don't think many here were willing to look on at me from a pragmatic mindset. Of course, this was just me making baseless guesses...
"FIRE!" someone then shouted before a large bang rang out. Sudden jitters from me leading to a mass wave of laughter all directed at me.
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"Ah, good, you are now here." Frihdeicalkbr said to me as I finally left the gauntlet of abuse I had to travel to get here. Briefly lingering on the doorstep to the brick building I would be staying in to look on at the crowd that made me miserable. They had dispersed somewhat, the attacks had stopped as well, but, I had a feeling that was because of the building being in the way now. Nothing to do with them being done with me, a hurtful prospect.
To see a building be treated with more respect than an individual who was capable of processing it all...
"The guards aren't coming in?" I asked him with some relief, outright glad I wouldn't be in their maliciously incompetent hands any longer for now.
"No, no they are not. As long as you are within the dorms, a lecture or an arcane development facility then they are not allowed in. The compromise we were able to come to regarding their deployment on our grounds."
"Is there going to be an issue with me running?"
"Running?" he said while raising a brow.
"As in, running to the dorm, to lectures to the facilities and so on. You saw how it was out there!" I explained to him before jabbing a claw at the window which gave a direct view of the horde. A flash soon entering in through that very same window before someone ran off holding a device of some description. A camera perhaps? Assuming they had those here...
"Yes, you'd be able to run. But, you'd likely have to avoid any guards which would likely be impossible."
"I see..."
"Anywho, I am here to show you around the dorm you will be staying at, this one right here. I'll lead you to the various means you will have to get familiar with and into, but for now, I will just be showing you around and explaining certain features." he said to me before he tapped the back of his hand on a decorative piece of metal that had a soft blue glow. The telltale signs of magic being involved.
"Am I on my own here?"
"Surprisingly not." he answered with surprise in his words.
"What is surprising about it...? Wouldn't my friends want to share a dorm with me?"
"And they are, what is surprising is that..." he said before he began to count his fingers and mutter numbers, "six, I think? Other students decided to stay here rather than request a dorm transfer upon hearing of your stay here. An oxfuine, another aelenvari and her son, two Ibenorrocons, an Errakurd and a Mogolwali."
Oxfuine and an aelenvari? That, admittedly, made me perk up a little as I was hoping it was Vadei and Thistle... Or whatever her name actually was... It got a little confusing given Rose's involvement before I died.
"You mention seven but say six?" I then questioned him with.
"She came with a seed and it hatched, sprouted, whatever, during her time here."
"I am a little surprised kids are allowed to stay..."
"Oh, speaking of kids, you aren't allowed near any of our childcare facilities, but, I'll explain where they are later with the map I have prepared for you."
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"I am surprised by just how much magic there is in everything." I mumbled while looking at the walls. Having recently just been made privy to just how much of this building and the Academy as a whole uses magic circuitry to do even the most menial of tasks. Or, rather, as Frihdeicalkbr put it, it was something called 'runing.' He didn't explain much as apparently, they had lectures and resources on it.
But, as someone who was mostly taught in engineering trades, it interested me as it sounded a lot like fancy electrical circuits. Which, otherwise, did not exist here. Everything was pieces of metal with a concentrated stream of magic going through it which caused the blue glow. Though, it did not always come in blue as sometimes they imported foreign supplies of magic for other purposes.
Like the lights above me... Apparently, they had an equilibrium going on in there. Pieces of metal conflicting with each other to produce light and darkness with it all being determined by the switch I was now looking at. What really got me laughing, though, was how the darkness you got when the lights went out was not natural darkness...
One did not actually turn the lights off, they just dimmed them in favour of darkness and playing with it was fun. A good if measly distraction to my current issues.
"Who's there?" I then found myself asking as Frihdeicalkbr had left the building a while ago. But, he had also said at some point everyone would come here to greet me, well, greet in a loose sense. They'd actually just be made aware of the fact I was now here... But, who could this have been?
There was a lot of movement and sharp noises so I really wasn't able to put my foot on it. And it was a good thing I did not either! Turns out, all that noise was coming from the aelenvari child I was informed about. One that had just wandered in front of me and was now staring at me...
I felt like moving away from it, but it just kept waddling closer to me. It was slightly impressive it could move around so much, but, even then, I was not allowed near the childcare places. So didn't that extend to the children of the students here as well? I did not want to take chances but this kid was testing my patience.
"No, no, no... Go over there." I said to it over and over before being driven into a corner by the unrelenting assault of its curiosity. Freezing up as it began to pat its deformed arms against me before opening its mouth and lighting up its equally deformed head bulbs. I really needed to ask Rose about that at seen as all I had seen were deformed male aelenvari. Assuming I hadn't asked her before?
I couldn't remember.
"Little one..." someone with a raspy voice called out with from down the hallway. Panic washing through me as the only light was the dim lights of this aelenvari's head bulbs. A panic I was to share as when the owner of this voice came into the room and saw my outline... She just bolted towards the child and then back to the way she came in by.
Tears in her eyes as she looked on at my silent form while I became upset at what I saw. It was her, the aelenvari I helped save back at the flower and here she was now looking on at me with fear. Fear she didn't even show towards Rose when she was near her. There wasn't much point in me staying here, so I just left, ever so carefully avoiding her so I could go to my room.
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"How many eggs do they have...?" I found myself saying in the middle of the night while lying in my bed. My mind was full of simmering annoyance as dull thuds echoed about my room every time something splattered on my windows. I had tried telling them to leave me alone, but it nearly ended up in me having more rocks thrown at me. Someone had even set up a device that keeps whispering insults through my window, so that didn't help.
I wasn't even sure how they found my room, Frihdeicalkbr gave me his word no one was told about which room I had been assigned. That only staff knew... Well, now that I thought on it, I just felt stupid, it was clear who let it out. One of the teachers did, one of the teachers who wanted to keep their students informed about where the monster was.
But, I couldn't sleep like this, I thought I might have been able to given how noisy it could get sometimes during my travels. Yet, apparently, it was not to be. I could not close my eyes and ignore the sounds. I felt exhausted but clearly, it was the wrong type.
"Maybe I will just go to Rose's room." I said as I gathered up my pillow and blanket before heading to the door. Only to sigh when the door refused to open. I tried to find the lock and then when I could not find it. I was reminded of the fact I was told my door was to be locked on the other side.
I was stuck in here...
"Or not..." I muttered as I turned to the window. Turning on the lights and then getting to work on a means to dull the noise. Maybe using the blankets on the other beds would help? There were quite a few empty beds in here.
A house meant for many yet occupied by one...
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'Yeah, that's right, move aside grounder!'
I tried to joke inside my head as I walked to a lecture that I might find interesting. I initially thought I might be able to bring my spirits up by making light of the people avoiding me on the pathway, that it was all because I was better. But, this lie, laced with irony as it may have been, did nothing to help. After all, I had no one to share the joke with.
The people around me, on the other hand, had plenty to share their jokes with and it was like I was walking through a field of glass. Each step shattering the delicate blades which made sounds of cruel laughter rather than the usual smash and crack. I couldn't even go to a less used path, guards wouldn't let me. So I was only able to be herded down the path of most resistance.
"Maybe I should leave soon... No, I have to wait for someone to let me out..." I began to mutter before going quiet when I realised I could not make such plans. Well, I might have been able to, but, I would need to find Rose as she let me out today. Find her, get some more details about how it all worked and maybe see if she can get me out first thing before going back to sleep if she wants? But, she hadn't seemed herself.
She seems to be getting a little distant for some reason? Maybe she was just getting stressed out and needed some time on her own? That would probably be fine, so it might be best to leave her be for a little bit. Let her get used to it all and hold out until then.
I've been through worse. Yeah, none of this compares to the hive! I can make it through it all and I will! And I will hold myself proudly when I do.
"Excuse me! Here, have a copy of the student newstablet!" some girl said to me with a smile before she went off to another student. A brow rising as I looked at what I had been given before it settled back down. My curiosity being gone in but a moment when I saw what was on the front of it. I could not read it, but the message was clear.
A picture of me and a bunch of symbols that seemed to imply how the people who make this want me gone...
A small, half-hearted smile formed, "Hey, I'm famous..." I sarcastically mumbled before hiding the item behind my map. I'd have Rose or something look through it later. Maybe there was actually something useful in it. But, before I did so, I turned a few... Pages?
All in order to look inside it.
"I wonder what this is?" I commented while looking at what seemed to be a menu page. Was it the food that was on offer today for meals? Frihdeicalkbr did say free meals were provided at set times.
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"Hey, you, Thing!" a guard suddenly said as I approached the building the lecture I was interested in was at. Coming to a stop as he said that and looking over at his sneering face before putting my hands together to express my nervousness.
"What do you think? Pat him down?" one of the guards suddenly suggested while the others near me prodded and jabbed at me. One of them even snatching away my map and the tablet thing before carelessly tossing it to the ground.
"Yeah, I think so, arms up." the first guard then said which left me confused. Frihdeicalkbr gave me a full rundown of what the guards were going to do and what they could do. Not one thing he listed said anything about pat-downs or body searches.
"You aren't allowed to do this..." I tried to comment before I was struck in the jaw by the end of a gun. Getting struck again when I moved my hand to rub my jaw. And now I knew not to move my hands and just take it as any efforts to do so was met with the butt of the stock.
"Not allowed to do what? Hm? Got something to say? No? Then shut up." one of them said before spitting on me. A couple of them roughly dragging me back up to my feet before they then began to prod me. I felt like a dead animal in a way surrounded by curious kids. No restraint on how hard they prodded. Just so long as they got something to happen to the corpse like blood spilling or a muscle twitch.
"It's clean. Now what?" one of the guards says with clear disappointment.
"What about that littering it has just done, can't let it get away with that." another said in a mocking tone which left my eye twitching. My mind filling with thoughts along the lines of 'just walk away.' Which, I might have done, had I not just had a gun forced up against my mouth the moment I tried it.
"Pick your rubbish up, Thing." he said before spitting at me.
"You put it there..." I told them.
"Did we?"
"Nope, I don't recall it at all."
"You are an awful liar, you know that, right?" one said before I was suddenly and violently sent to the ground by the sudden yanking of my head.
"Crawl to it and pick it up." one said before an armoured foot slammed into my gut. It didn't hurt in the slightest, which might have been bad as now I was just getting kicked again and again before finally being left alone.
"Pick it up!" one sneered up from above before I just went along with it. Crawling on my claws and forward knees to pick it up. Nearly growling when it was kicked away further. Something that kept happening until it got near a tree.
Then, a shot was fired near me, with my following shakes and hysterical panic causing laughter to erupt behind me as leaves and burnt branches fell. One branch even got stuck on my head as I stared intently at the laughing crowd that had formed.
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"The leaves in my clothes are annoying..." I said as I walked through the mostly empty hallway. Carefully eyeing all the rooms I passed as everyone was refusing to leave the doorway until I had passed. Each passing gifting me with whispered insult after whispered insult before I finally reached where I wanted to go.
"And as you can see from the diagram I have posted..." a teacher was saying to the students in the room before he stopped when I came in. A look of disgust coming over him before he gestured me towards the very corner of the room. Something I complied with without issue as hopefully this corner was far away enough that I could not hear the student gossip. Soon looking on with curiosity at what was being shown.
I could not read the notes, obviously, but, it seemed to be about magic and the magic aura. I think I heard it be called Internal and External at one point by either Rose or someone else. Carefully jotting down what notes I could in Tobaballian in hopes of maybe being able to piece it all together later. It was awkward because my hands were not made for writing.
In fact, I was contemplating if I should just use my claw to write with as the means I was given were all slabs of earth and stone. Very magical stone going by how it formed shapes largely on its own, even converting what I was trying to write into another language for some reason. It was very annoying having to go back over my notes every now and then. But, soon, maybe I will be able to write in this language.
"You! Stop interrupting my lecture!" the teacher down at the front demanded to someone. Something that caused me to raise my head up to see what was going on. Only to be confused by the fact it was directed at me rather than the students coming in making all this noise.
"I'm no-"
"Do not speak back to me!" he suddenly said to me before sighing and placing his face against his palm, "Well, let us see if you have been paying attention, what is the difference between External-Magic and Internal-Magic?"
I think I knew this? Yeah, I think I did, "Internal-Magic is what your body holds while External-Magic is..." soon being at a loss for words before I gestured around me.
If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.
"Can I now have an answer from someone who is not clearly younger than twenty." he then sneered out at my expense. Was he calling me a child?
"Yes, Lecturer Brutano. The difference is, simply put for our learning disadvantaged students, is that one is magic stored within the body to reinforce its structure while external is what it lets out and controls."
"Thank you!" this Brutano said with a clap before he stared at me and at the people making noise because none were willing to sit near me, "Get out of my lecture." he then demanded of me.
Something I just went along with, making sure my hand was tightly on the handlebar at the side. Just in case as many were sticking their legs out and intentionally guiding them towards my legs.
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See, it would have been nice if I could pick out something to eat without issue, but, it seems that the people of this place didn't want me eating either. I had barely joined the queue and people were already shoving past me and hitting me as I waited. And once the queue moved a little, impatient shoves would find their way on to me. All I could do for now until I left the queue was to just tap a digit on the nearest surface.
Vent the anger just a little...
But, by the gods, by every single one of them was I getting angry and increasingly pissed. I was just standing here and I was getting shit from these people! To make it all worse, I wasn't even obstructing the main queue! There were multiple ones these people could go to but many chose the one I was in just to flick or shove me!
I could, in theory, hold firm and let them bounce right off of me as I knew I had a sturdy body for the most part. Yet, I just went with the flow, moving slightly with every body-on-body collision I had to go through. All until I finally reached the end of the queue after the significant bloat it went through. All rooted in spite towards me.
"Sandwich?" I quietly muttered to myself upon seeing what was on offer, a lot of it eerily familiar. But, I suppose one shouldn't have expected a nigh-infinite array of potential foods. Good cooking tended to gravitate towards the same ideas in my experience. A well-travelled experience at that!
"Yes! Sandwich!" said someone behind me in a mocking tone. One where they bit on their tongue a little to interfere with their voice so it came out more like a braindead person. Yet, I was done here, for now, so I could just leave and go into a corner where I'd likely be left alone in this place. And I was left frowning at what I was seeing.
I could not even get to a seat in the corner of the room because people kept legging it to where I wanted to sit to take all the seats! Then, they'd just insult me, swear at me and deride me until I left! Just to do it all again! It didn't take long for me to realise I was being corralled into the centre most seats. So I just went along with it and slumped onto the table.
A sandwich in my claw that I soon had to protect from all manners of disgusting projectiles.
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I really, really hoped this would be the one place where I could get away from all the insults and mocker and abuse. But, no, turns out I was wrong, I couldn't even use the library without some kind of problem coming out of it. I was not allowed to say anything and I had to wait absurdly long times just to get what I wanted as the staff here just found any excuse not to help me. I tried to get a book on my own but I was threatened with immediate expulsion from the building...
So here I was, stuck at the front of an impatient queue once again waiting for the book I asked for to come. Something that took equally as long as well because I do not know much about magical theory so had a hard time explaining what I wanted. It didn't help that the librarian or whatever she was kept sneering and making mocking mimicry the entire time I was talking. But, finally, my stuff came and I could go hide as well as I could.
"Keep yourself within eyeshot, Bug!" a member of staff hissed out at me before I even made it past the first hastily vacated table. One I sat down at with a sigh before I began to pick apart what I could from the diagrams in the book. I suppose that was one good thing about me not knowing how to read this language, it made me think more. Helped keep me mentally fi-
"Why do you even let it in here?"
"We have to, so take it up with the next Council of Suhurlodst Academy Staff Convergence."
"Oh, I'll make sure to alright. Get this thing back where it belongs."
"Good luck with that, you'll most certainly need it given it was someones stupid idea to make it so an overwhelming majority is needed to get anything done."
"But, why would we change it? It has worked out quite well for us!"
"Look at what it has put on our doorstep!"
And that is when I just packed up and left, "Hey! You can't take that!" a member of staff sharply said to me as they stormed up to me.
"Then why don't you try and take it!" I growled out at them after suddenly making them drop to the floor in terror after I aggressively went up to them. Maintaining the growl and rage-filled stare for a little while before just leaving when my mind just suddenly went calm. Like an overflowing steam pipe that had suddenly been shut nice and tight. And once I was out, I went on a search for an outside table to sit at so I could carry on with my work.
Hopefully in peace because my time to get this education up to par was disappearing rapidly and I still hadn't touched on anything magic-related! As such, I was getting worried because of it...
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"Oh, hi, Einervaene." I said as I greeted her with one of the rarest things in recent times. A smile.
"Hello, Urtuoi-kischu, how have you been? I'm sorry I haven't been able to see you as much recently. I have just been very excited about all this place has to offer." she said cheerfully while she turned her arm to lightning before it turned back.
"You are able to keep it up for longer?" I questioned while staring at her now twitching arm.
"Yeah, turns out, I had nearly committed a form of proverbial suicide with my magic as I had been using the wrong means to cast it. I am still casting it incorrectly, but, I have been getting better. See!" she explained before showing me her arm which had already recovered from its twitches and spasms.
"That's good, means I won't have to catch you or go over you to keep you from being squashed into a road." I joked to her which led to her looking away in embarrassment.
"So how has your magic come along? Hopefully, soon, I can show off how well I have done in changing how I go about casting it."
I frowned, "I've not had the time to, been a bit busy." I tell her before rubbing my jaw while looking at the pile of books I had to get earlier.
"You are not doing any magic training?"
"No, thought I'd learn the language first but it has been difficult to do so."
"I assume it is because of...?"
"No, well, yes, in a way. I haven't had any teachers willing to help me out with it and it is just so different to what I am used to." I tell her as I show her the tablet I had been using to jot down my notes before showing her a book so she could compare the texts. Maybe in the future I could teach her some Tobaballian?
"Einervaene! Einervaene!" someone called out cheerfully as they ran to us before then came to a stop after turning the corner that kept us separate. Their eyes staring intently at me before they took a step back. They didn't insult me, they apparently had no reason to, much to my surprise. But, they weren't even Jhermonikrans or whatever it was to be fair...
They were the same people Einervaene, Eusorochiian I think was the word.
"Alright, listen carefully, okay?" Einervaene then said with a sigh as she scooted a little closer and made sure I was looking at her.
"What is it?"
"I don't want you to take this personally or anything, but, is it alright if we don't see each other while out of our dorm?"
"Y-Yeah... It's fine." I said in understanding while I finally took in the fact we were getting stared at by so many different people.
"Again, please don't take it personally, okay?" she pleaded to me before letting out a little smile after I nodded in understanding. Soon sitting there quietly after having watched her leave me on my own. After that, it was a slow transition to moving on to my work once again and even then, I was just too distracted to focus on it.
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"A challenge?" I repeated to myself while looking at the man who had just come up to me with his friends while I was talking to Rose on our way to something. I dunno what, she had just said she wanted to take me to something.
"Yes, you and me, in there. Magic duel, you in?" he said with a smile as he gestured his hand towards a large building to my right. Was I to guess this was some form of arena? Like, a more permanent version of what Rose had set up back at her flower when I was still somewhat human.
I looked at Rose, "Do you object?" I asked her as I thought this might be helpful in some way. These people had been nothing but respectful since we had met and had even chased off those that would cause issues. Who knows, maybe, just maybe, if I can show myself as being more than just a bug, I can negate the insults to some extent...?
I hope so, I very much hoped so.
She shook her head and smiled, "I have no issue with this at all, Nin." she said to me which left me tilting my head a little. She hadn't called me by my name in a while. Maybe she was seeing how annoyed I was getting as of late and was willing to say my name? At least for a short period.
"Alright!" I said with a small smile, "When does it start?"
"Now, if you're up for it?" he said with a confident smirk which left me nodding, "Excellent! Let's go." he then said before patting my back and guiding me towards the building.
"So what will we be doing in this duel exactly?" I asked him with some uncertainty as 'duel' to me usually meant using a weapon. But, I did not know how to use a weapon, but, he did say it was a magic duel. So maybe he and I were the weapons to be used in the duel?
"Just letting off a few spells and so on, nothing fancy, just to see what you got." he said as he nudged my side a little before he looked at his friends and laughed. Not at me, but what was around me, the magic I had not learned to control yet. Were they impressed by it? It seemed to be the case that they were going by how enthusiastic their reactions are.
"Well, alright, I'll see what I can do." I tried to say back to them with equal enthusiasm before I began to get bogged down in my thoughts. What could I even do? I did not know any spells of note nor had I really expanded upon what I had learned previously. Perhaps I could learn on the fly or just adapt what I knew?
I had no means to tell if he was more experienced than me so hopefully, it would just be a small and short thing. Something where two inexperienced starter-uppers had a go with each other to see how good they actually were. A means to learn where they could improve. A means to establish what they can do better next time.
"That's the spirit! C'mon, if you haven't been in here before, you are going to love it!" he exclaimed before his friends all ran ahead while he stayed with me and Rose.
"Hurry up, Rose!" I then said to the aelenvari who had been moving rather slowly down the path to this place we were now getting to the entrance of.
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My arms trembled as I tried to get back onto my feet before a sudden force thrust me back into the ground. Said ground exploding out all around me after I was kicked into it by a lying shit flying about on little whirlwinds. A growl soon left me as I shot myself across the field and stumbled back to my feet. The jeering of the crowd filling my ears as I was attacked over and over.
Turns out this wasn't a duel between two inexperienced students, this was just a scheme set up by one of the more experienced students! One from Exceptional House no less! The very best had lulled me into a false sense of security when I should have been paranoid about them and they are now using me... Using me to get meaningless fame!
"You can still get up, Bug?" he laughed out cruelly while taking in the cheers directed at him. A real attention seeker alright...
"If you actually tried... Maybe I wouldn't be..." I told him with a sneer before spitting out the large amount of blood I had been holding back. Another thing worthy of note, turns out you can get quite violent in these duels so long as you were not using blows aimed to kill. If you were? I did not know, I assume you got hit with criminal charges...
Not that assuming anything would help me right now. My clothes were in tatters and I was struggling to stand up and only stayed up because of my anger. An anger that was boiling out into such quantities that I was just one tiny thing from just going berserk. And it looks like I would get that push I needed to do so...
"So, Rose-sweerui, any plans tonight?" he then said with a smirk which suddenly left me dead on the inside. Had she been a part of this plan? Was that why she was acting funny these past few days and being so distant...? Was that why my actual name suddenly found itself being used over all others?
She wouldn't even look my way... Just like the moments before she stole my first kiss... Just like then, when she came out of nowhere and said 'I love you!' Or, something to that effect, it did not matter much to me...
I wasn't even going to voice my anger, there was just no point, instead... I ran, I ran as fast as I could go. I cratered the ground under me and I scarred it forever. I charged with unrelenting fury and I roared to the orbtial-halo and brought my right fist back.
Yet, I missed. I missed him completely and was met with a body-wide numbness and a complete lack of understanding as I was now on the other side of the arena... And all I saw was Rose slowly walking up to that man...
"Rose...?" I spat out in confusion before my anger just stopped along with my ability to stay awake.
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"Do not leave the bed." a nurse or something told me after I tried to move from the bed I had woken up in. Not even bandaged or healed for some reason... I had just been left in it to potentially bleed out!?
"Why should I stay in it? You haven't even done your job!" I snapped out to her as my cracked and mangled arm shattered the bed's railing.
"Do not make me call the City-Guard in here!" she snapped back at me, clearly unintimidated by my sudden show of force and aggression. Either she was an idiot or she had just seen it enough not to care...
"Then get on with it and do your job." I snorted before blasting my recent breath through my nose.
"If you can't tell, I am doing it right now!" she told me as she moved a few tubs and other items. She was just looking for things to do so she could avoid me... She was even going towards the students that were just coming in and sorting them out before me! Yet, as I could do nothing, I stayed on the bed and I twitched out what anger I could. I should have been used to this now, but I wasn't for some reason.
But, maybe it was because I was so full of rage towards what Rose had shown herself to be... Just a fickle thing that was looking for any excuse she could to get away from me. She had made that abundantly clear with her actions... It was clear to me she regretted leaving her flower with me...
It was all just so clear and I was left calming down in the wrong way, instead, I just found myself quietly crying to myself. Crying to myself on a dirty, filthy and disgusting bed caked in dried blood and soaked in freshly spilt blood forced out in my anger. It was all just there. unignorable pains that acted up due to the smallest of movements, annoying itches and stinging sensations...
The pain in your mind that just never went away... It was all there and it was all I could think about before I caught sight of something in the distance. A building where finely dressed people were entering and leaving, all dressed in or wearing the clothes or colours of the gods... The signs of a temple.
I wasn't alone... I still had Motrtha to go to for help!
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"Would be better off going to the temple next time for medical treatment." I complained while slowly wandering towards the temple within the Academy grounds. It was a little interesting to see such a building here, but, as magic is a thing, I guess the gods play a more important role as their blessings are actually active in these parts. But, soon, I was forced away from my slow wandering and put into a hurried jog as it had begun raining. Hard.
"At least I won't need a shower..." I soon joked out as I came to a stop again as it would seem I would not get indoors before I got fully soaked. So, I just went with it. I walked in the pouring rain that was coming from somewhere in these cloudless skies above and let it soak me. Occasionally using my wet claws to pick away at the dried blood on me and my rags. Somewhat enjoying the sight of my yellow ick just flowing away.
If only it was more than the blood that got washed away...
And soon, with a small smile on my face, I had crossed the distance between the hospital place and the temple and was now approaching it! I could finally seek some closure from the goddess who had been giving it to me back in Tryhpeltzweig. The one who defied her Father's rules to send me little messages to keep me in a positive mindset. Yet, it seems the door was getting closed to stop the rain from coming in.
"Hey!" I called out to them as I waved, hoping they'd at least keep it open as surely a place of the gods was open to all without issue? I could at least escape the insults here, right...?
"Go away, Bug." the man at the door spat out before he closed the large and decorative door shut. My curled up fist soon banging on it.
"Hey! Let me in!" I called out through the increasingly more aggressive rain. Letting my actions challenge its noise until I began to slow down and add my own water to the rain. A sudden depression washing over me as I tried to get into the building. And before I broke down, I sighed longingly for simpler times.
"You can't do this..." I whimpered out in hopes they'd at least take pity on me before I turned away and left for my dorm. My brick-like feet, my osibindah feet, dragging canyons through the grass and mud as I did so. What point was there in getting out of this rain...?
What point was there...? I deserved any illness I got from it. Any bad ailment it would encourage and so on. I deserved it all.
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"Get going, Bug." said the guard that had just shoved me into the mud before he left laughing along with the others. But, I did not move from my spot, I just kept whimpering as mud found its way onto my tongue. Its horrendous and earthy taste soon being spat out in disgust as I finally got moving again. If you could call it that, I was just stumbling from spot to spot.
I was exhausted, so damn exhausted that I felt like I was just going to flop over dead because of it yet, unluckily for me... I did not. Undwote did not find a tired and upset bug wandering through his mists. All that found me was the pile of rubbish someone had just dumped on me as I passed their window.
And I did not respond to it, I just kept walking and walking until I finally saw the dorm again. The prison I had slept in for weeks upon weeks. The shitty little prison cell I was relegated to because I was a filthy bug... It was interesting, in a way.
I once saw prison cells as places with no exit, a place where one could have no hope of moving out until they had paid their time to the government. But, all it took was sleeping in that bed of mine to change my perspective, the ability to be seen and see made it all worse. I was an attraction to these people... A gimmick to be laughed at and abused.
I just wanted a sealed room with no ways out or in so I could at least have some peace. To wake up one morning and not have to worry about when I was going to be let out. To sleep one night and not do it to the sound of insults being played on fancy machines and items banging on my window. I wanted to be left alone.
Yet, even as I longingly looked off in the distance to the lands beyond that ring-shaped ruin this place was built behind. I did not feel hopeful, I just knew that if I went out towards that place I would just meet the guns of the guards. The guns that would grant me my final rest to the one god who wanted me the most. The one who was denied my soul...
But then I shook my head and went inside with a sigh, not even bothering to close the door just so I could hear it rattle because of the winds outside. Just so I could watch the rainfall so clearly while listening to the joys and laughter I was excluded from elsewhere in the dorm. Just so I could remind myself of why I had my old mindset of friends being pointless. Of how they would turn their backs on you when it got rough to save themselves.
"Apparently even saving their lives means next to nothing these days." I mumbled as tears rolled down my face as I thought about all that I had done for those three. Baltanthan not so much as he had pretty much disappeared after I had been caught by the guards. But, he was involved all the same. I saved their lives, made sure they were safe and fed and taken care of.
I worked to make sure no monsters would hurt them... I put myself at risk to make them full and happy... I got shot apart to ensure they could have a future... All that effort and for nothing.
It was all just pointless wastes of time!
And yet, even as my mind became swollen with hate, my body did not act. It had just had enough, it just had, had enough of it all. It wanted to give up right here at this door. But, my mind would not let it...
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It was a slow process, me getting up, that is, just one full of slow movements and lots of quiet thinking and stewing. Listening to the set-up mockery machine and glancing at the unmoved door before I finally got out of bed. Shuffling over to the door and staring at it intently. Just hoping someone would come and open it.
Yet, I was soon to feel like an idiot for a draft of wind that had passed through the door nudged the door forward. Someone had opened it for me, they just had not made it clear the door was open. So, following me letting out a sound of understanding, I went and put on a new set of clothes so the other one I was wearing could be washed. And maybe I should do my bed too, it was filthy after all...
But, filth by the large for me now was meaningless as I had become very acquainted with it as of late. And even with that in mind, I still went and took apart my bed to be cleaned up and then I shuffled out of my room to put it in for a wash. Walking down the empty stairwell and heading towards the washing up equipment and then sorting it all out. Turning my attention to getting something to eat before then seeing Einervaene leaving with her hand up waving.
Only, it wasn't for me, it was for someone in the next room over and she didn't even acknowledge me when she went past. So I just lowered my head a little with a frown, more miserable than I was when I first got up and out of the room. And with that having happened, I was suddenly left feeling like there was no need to eat anything even as my already deprived stomach growled. I then stopped and thought on anything else I might need to do before I went.
There was nothing that I would need to do, I had done everything of note since I had gotten up so I might as well go. So I did, I left the dorm and headed on out into the outside world beneath the bright light of the orbital-halo. I didn't bother looking at my map, I had been everywhere I had needed to know about so I knew where it all was. I even made sure to avoid that arena so I would not get put into more games.
Not that it stopped people trying to recreate that what happened before when I got put into the medical place. Before it became clear to me that I wasn't even allowed into the temple to tend to my spiritual needs. But, it was fine, if I had been allowed in I would have caused problems for everyone else so me not going in was good. The insults I was getting now, too, they were just scared and needed to get it out of their system.
And then I came to a stop on the side of the path under a tree that bore the marks of the guards making sure I understood my place well. Why was I even heading to a lecture right now? I was just going to be asked to leave again and for a justifiable and good reason. So, I might as well spare them the trouble and just head on to the library to get what I need.
I can learn on my own, I had been doing quite well learning on my own as well. I even had the excuse to make sure I was doing well because the other students or guards would destroy my notes and means to make them. So I got lots of information firmly stored in me because I was truly made to learn them. So I was getting a crude kindness in a way!
"Why are they still letting it walk around...? That thing could just lash out and rape me, you know that right, Doltlerf?"
"Yes, of course, I know, Mohninka. But you know we can't do anything about it. It's protected by the law, the very thing that should let us just kill it."
"It's looking at us..."
"Just ignore it, guards will shoot it if it tries anything."
A single digit of mine soon rubbing at my nose before I looked away in confusion. I swear I heard my name be said...
"Get moving, Bug!" a guard then soon said to me before spitting at me and nudging me with his gun. Nodding at him in thanks before I began walking again, it was very nice of him to make sure I stayed active. Help keep my mind off the bad stuff that would otherwise distract me and it would let me focus on my work! And focus is something I needed as that deadline was coming closer.
But, would it be best to not try and let them deal with me? I would just cause more problems if I stayed here so if I did everyone this favour I would be remembered more fondly! Not that it mattered, I was going to be killed off because I am not remembered fondly. So maybe I should just give the guards a reason here and now?
Take away the build-up and cut the rope that kept this place in suspense...?
I frowned at this, despite how good of an argument I made for it, I could just not convince myself to do it. I could not enact this plan that would benefit everyone here. I could not figure out why either. It was like my mind was lying to me.
Explaining it and why I should do it while not letting me do it. But, I suppose I had all day and a few more to contemplate it. Shouldn't take that long to think of an indisputable argument to get me moving towards that end result, should it...?
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"Where is he?" someone in the other room said with a growl in their voice while I tapped my claws against the exceptionally well-carved wood. Only myself being present to enjoy my self-made music as everyone else was in other parts of the dorm, rightfully putting space between me and them.
"Where is who?"
"You know who I am on about!" they growled out with greater anger before they were then likely gestured an answer. Leading them straight to me who had begun to move away from the room before they then got in my way and stopped me. And it turned out this person was Vadei. But why would she look for me?
She hadn't looked for me before...
"Okay, answer me this very carefully. Who are you?" she asked with narrowed eyes and slightly bared teeth while I nervously kept my distance. Even if she made she to keep that distance small.
"I am Bug... I am Osibindah... I am what is left of one Nin Urtuan." I mumbled out in response. Having nearly just answered as saying I was 'Bug' but switching it out for what was actually said.
"Where are you from?"
I then sniffled as I began to think of why I came here to begin with before my eyes began to feel like they would water, "I am from Tobaballe..."
"What do I call you?"
"You call me Ho... The last name of Iishar Ho, one of our Spire-Lords. Tower-Ladies?" I said to her before clawing at my shell as I couldn't quite figure out the answer towards the end. Seems like I was just forgetting some of the information I should have known well to the point of it being nearly unforgettable. Yet, I suppose that was the catch. It was only 'nearly,' not flat-out impossible.
"So it is you... How in the... By... How are you alive...? Let alone yourself...?" she then said in an utterly flabbergasted tone while she looked at my eyes. The last signs of my former humanity that might as well not have existed anyway. After all, I was a bug now, bugs had no need for humanity.
"Funny story..." I said as I patted my claws together before picking up a knife from its holder. Making silly little sounds as I slid it harmlessly across my chest before then doing the same to make blood. Finishing it all off with a sudden limpness and tongue roll out.
"You actually died...? So Vapooliar did, in fact, kill you?" she said, seeking clarification which I nodded to.
"I did, I then met all the gods and goddesses after Undwote brought me aboard his father's ship. Did you know, it has no sails or oars? It just has these four things that shoot lightning." I told her before making finger gestures for it.
"Are you drunk?" she then asked before she sniffed my breath, recoiling away in disgust before she then put some distance between us.
"I am not... I have not even had a glass of water today..." I mumble to her before looking at the place where I could get both right now. Only to look away from it and back to the knife I was holding. It was a large knife indeed, one that had a slight glow to it from the magic it had on it altering the way it cut. The blade was warm too, so maybe it was to slightly cook what you cut?
A fancy blade indeed... Nice and strong with plenty of gripping space to land a firm hand. It was even narrow in point so I could easily use it for more than just cutting. But what would I use it on...?
"N-Nin... Are you alright?" Vadei then asked me in what must have been the first case of her ever actually showing genuine concern for me as her eyes watched the knife I was waving about. I shook my head in response as my eyes began to let loose tears I had originally not even noticed before I then looked up at her.
"I don't know..." I told her as my tone lost its form and turned into a more childish one.
"Hey... WAIT!" she then screamed out before the room we were in was suddenly filled with shards of broken knife along with rattling items. All from the force I had used to try and punch that knife straight through my neck. And while she looked on in horror while backing away, I stared tearfully at the knife before I dropped to the floor and started sobbing.
Curling up into a ball while carving apart the flooring in an effort to get together some shards to try and kill myself with but none of it worked. Then, I did what I thought I would never do again in all my life. Something I had never thought would even be a thing. I don't think I even had ever actually done it given how detached I was from my family due to how growing up in back home worked...
"I want my mummy..." I sobbed out in tears while hiding my face. Occasionally lashing out at anything near me. Soon crawling away into a quieter part of the building while that spiteful tailed creature watched me. Likely wishing the same thing everyone else wanted of me here...