"Ugh... Uggggh... Ugggggghhhhh!" I groaned as I struggled to keep myself slumped against the sink.
"DAMMIT, HURRY UP IN THERE!" my sister screamed with such force that it was as if I was onboard a dreadnought. Not just any dreadnought, one from the King's navy! With those thunderous guns that slammed down as the ship twirled about the All-Coasts!
"Be quiet..." I complained, nearly in tears as I clutched my head and stomach. I don't think I drank that much at the party... Nor was I particularly active after the initial rush around the place. I made sure to be with my friends after that...
So I did not know why I felt so unwell, it was like I was being leeched of my strength! And it was most certainly not the bone-chilling cold that was seeping in from the door gaps! It was most definitely inside me. So maybe I just had to poke my dangly thing and force it out?
"Ow..." I groaned some more before I fell to the floor. To make it all worse, I had no idea as to why I fell. Or, even when I did fall. I just seemed to wake up on the floor.
"OPEN UP ALREADY! YOU'VE BEEN IN THERE FOR HOURS!" my sister screamed some more.
"Alright, alright..." I eventually said to her once I got to the door and opened it.
"ARE YOU ALRIGHT!?" she asked with a calm face that did not match her tone.
"Be quiet!" I begged as I flinched away from her as everything she did just made my head hurt.
"I AM!?" she clearly yelled before I started to stumble away before I struggled back into bed.
"Ow..." I moaned as I started to cry from how much the noise hurt. But, even as I wrapped myself in all the blankets I could find. With my strangely weak magic even dumping further layers of clothes on top of me. I still felt cold, as if my sister had put me in a brick of ice!
"Larishazza!?" my sister asked as she came to the door. And while she had quietened down, she was still intolerably loud. So, I threw some water at her and retreated as much as I could into my cloth cave. Desperation filled me as well as the cold, why was it so cold!?
"HUGHEH!" I then blurted out as my stomach seemed to suddenly jump up. Instantly following that noise, I let loose the contents of my stomach. A sickly, brownish-yellow mess filled the room and polluted my carpet.
"You okay?" my sister asked as the noises seemed to dull a little. Or, maybe it was because everything else hurt too much right now.
"I n-need a drink..." I sobbed as I spat out what remained of the bile. Recoiling at the acidic taste before collapsing onto the edge of the bed. The hard, wooden frame dug into my neck and it seemed like it was cutting it! So, I tried to move away, but, my face was a mess right now...
So I had to keep it away from my blankets or I would lose them to the cleaners!
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"There, that better?" one of my friends asked me as I sat at the table, wrapped up in a warm blanket. Some joy had managed to return to my face. And it was because someone gave me some fluffy socks to hide my toes in. It amused me for some reason.
"Y-Yeah..." I answered before carefully sipping on the water. It burned my mouth as much as the bile did on the way out. However, in complete contradiction to how that bile was. I could steadily feel myself getting better.
"Is she going to need to see a doctor?" Nin asks as he comes downstairs with a bucket.
"Blegh..." I let out as I recoil at the smell of my vomit.
"Disgusting, I know." he jokingly answers yet I could not muster the strength to smile back at him. Maybe if I drank more of this water, I could, but, for now, I didn't.
"Well, if we give it some time, she might start to feel better, so there's no point in rushing it."
"I don't know about that, being ill is a very rare thing in high-magic regions." Vadei comments as she pinches her nose shut while also stuffing it in a flowerpot.
"I wouldn't know, personally. My only experiences with illness were back at Tobaballe with what seems to be so long ago." Nin comments with a shrug before he goes outside to dispose of my bile.
"Honestly, what did you do during that party?" Tiya asks me once she puts down a bowl of food made by Omb.
"Party, clearly." the cook laughs out before he sits dead ahead to inspect my reaction. This time, however, there was a little more to it than just his need to know how people feel about his cooking. But, I have never hated anything he has made before.
"EW!?" I practically scream in confusion. Horror was also clearly on my face as I had never hated something Omb has cooked before! Even he was in complete shock to the point that he snatched the bowl to eat it himself.
"I... I don't understand..." he says with clear and blatant despair. The food did not go to waste, however, so that could be seen as a positive, no?
"This is becoming very serious." Tiya comments as I start to bite my lip and sniff the air. I don't know why, but I was now craving a specific thing more so than any other.
"D-Does... Does anywhere here do sandwiches? Like, not hard, crusty, too-big-for-my-mouth kind. Small ones with no crusts in little triangles?" I asked as my mind started to fill up with nothing but sandwich-related thoughts.
"Shoved aside for sandwiches..." Omb groans as the table trembles slightly at his failure to feed me.
"You, do you mean like the ones the cafeteria does?" Einervaene asks as she mimics holding such a small sandwich.
"Yes! Yes, those ones!" I nearly yell as my body becomes full of unexplained energy. Yet, I also felt desperate as I wobbled to my feet.
"Shoved aside for mass-made sandwiches..." Omb repeats before his head slams onto the table. Yet, I could not care right now. I had a hankering for food only the cafeteria could provide right now.
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"I don't think even I would eat Motrtha's food with this much ferocity..." Nin comments as I tore through the supply of sandwiches I had been given.
"I can see what you mean." Rosie says as she nods along with what he just said.
"What!?" I ask them angrily as a piece of cucumber slips from my mouth. The sudden, harsh bite that I had just taken out of it allowing that to be done. But, they were not amused by it. They were shocked by my tone.
Yet, how dare they hold that against me! I slipped up once in comparison to them! I was practically the goddess of how Nin might put it, this shit! I was the best goddess out there...
"Larishazza, there's no need for that." Tiyanat chastises before I turn to growl at her.
"THERE'S NO NEED FOR YOU TO SHOVE ICE AT EVERYTHING EITHER!" I scream at her before storming off with the sandwiches. Initially, I angrily ate the sandwiches on my own. But I started to feel very lonely very quickly and anger turned to tears.
"Is everything alright?" Nin asks me as he finishes following me the short distance out the cafeteria.
"Peachy you impatient shit." I spit, much to his surprise.
"Uh..."
"Heh, speechless as usual." I cruelly joke before I stop in confusion. Why did I say something like that so easily...? That wasn't me at all... Had I been brainwashed or something!?
"Again, is everything alright?" he asks as he moves next to me. And, the moment he does, I latch onto him and nibble away at my sandwich. Aggressively reacting to any movements from his hands as I ate in my comfortable animal onesie.
"Get me more!" I demanded very quickly as I was out of sandwiches.
"Okay...?" he says reluctantly before I force him back down onto the bench I had brought us to.
"Don't go..." I complain angrily while tightly clutching his waste.
"What." was all he had to say, which was just typical... Just typical...
"Nin..."
"Yes?"
"Do you hate me...?" I ask him as I carefully take into account how he was acting. He was being so irrational right now... I told him to be patient and he has done nothing but...
"I don't think that is possible, no." he answers as his warm hand softly strokes my hair. But, I made it difficult for him to continue as I did not want my onesie hood down.
"Pat." I ordered as I suddenly moved onto his lap so he could pat my head. So he could ruffle my hair and even hug me properly if I wanted it.
"W-Well..." he says as my arms wrap around his shoulders while my body rested where his thing should be. Yet, disappointingly, it wasn't.
"Keep patting." I tell him as my somewhat restored magic bellows out around me. Purring like my precious feline pet back home as his hand ruffled my hair and gave me its warmth. It was such a comforting palm despite how hard it was physically.
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"So, what's the issue, Doctor...?" I ask the uniformed man while I sat on a formerly well-made hospital bed. Just like one Nin might have been in not too long ago. I even had my own just like everyone else did.
"Well, first off, congratulations."
"For what...?" I ask him before what he shows me horrifies me to my core. Did... Did I slip up that badly...? Why did it have to happen now!?
"You're going to be a mother. May Motrtha bless your future." he tells me before he starts to go to the door. Whatever he said to those on the other side, I did not care. I just, couldn't help but be disappointed in myself... I was usually so good at making sure this did not happen...
So why did I fail now!? Why did I fail right when I was paralyzed by the idea of eventually telling Nin no!? Actually, I wasn't even sure if I could say no... It made me so happy to see him happy and it worked with other emotions too...
As such, I was struggling with the idea of telling him no... Why would he want such an unapologetic slut like me as his girlfriend!? I have made no romantic commitments, ever! It always shot straight towards the best bit!
But, now... I had someone tell me sincerely and them not be my family as well! He cried and told me that he loved me... Someone like me...
Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
And that behaviour I once felt no shame in suddenly made me indescribably angry. I was pregnant with some random student's child right before the deadline where I said yes... No... Yes!?
"Student Larishazza, are you alright?" the doctor asks me before I let my head be hidden behind my hands. I did not want anyone to look at me right now!
"N-No, I'm not!" I tried to tell him as my eyes started to water.
"Don't worry! It's normal to experience these kinds of things. I can get someone who can go into it a lot better than I can if you want? Being a mother is obviously something I could never do." he explains before he makes a bad joke.
"I... Just need some time alone."
"Of course, got to think of a name, haven't we?" he jokes once again before he leaves. And, when the door firmly shuts behind him. I start to sob uncontrollably.
"Dammit, Nin... Damn you... Why'd you have to ask such a question!? You stupid... Stupid..." I started to say before I lost myself in the crying. There was no way I could explain this to any of them... My sister knew of my habits, she has done for a long time... But the others!?
Not one of them had the slightest clue beyond maybe Rosie... Nin, though... It would break his heart as it dangled on such delicate strings... One wrong move and I would sever them forever...
I needed to be so careful that it caused me pain just thinking about it... And it hurt more than all the vomiting and restless nights ever could. Especially now... I don't know what I would do if I lost a friend like Nin...
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"So, the week's nearly ended-" Nin was saying.
"I KNOW!" I roar before I cover up my mouth and flinch away from him.
"Uh... As I was saying, the week is nearly done and dusted, so that means that thing is happening, no?"
"NOTHING IS HAPPENING UNTIL I SAY SO, OKAY!?" I scream in his face before I back away, shaking my head desperately.
"Larishazza...?" Tiya asks with a tilt of her head as she holds up a display for something we had all agreed to go to. I wanted to introduce them to my new friends that I made after the fight... They were performing in Thrurstradtur itself... In one of the grand music halls that our fight was actually in the replica of.
"Oh, right, that..." I say as I clutched my goosebump-covered backhands before I started to shake and tremble some more.
"No one has done anything, right...?" Vadei asks with a raised brow as now I think my behaviour was getting on their nerves. Yet, I couldn't bear to look up at Nin as sadness was coming to his face. Was he catching on that this was because he asked me THAT question!?
No! NO! NO! NO!
It wasn't!
"I'm sorry..." was all I really could say as I slowly inspected the sheet of paper the performance was advertised on. As seen in the Inter-House Talent Display... That was what it said in proud letters. I was even told directly that they struggled to find us tickets because it was that much of a selling point...
"Don't worry, no one is mad. We're just, worried." Einervaene tried to answer, but, the way her tone came across only made me growl.
"Sure you are..." I hissed before I retreated into my arms and the darkness they created. Creating only a big enough gap so I could watch Nin as he chittered away worriedly.
"So, are the plans still the same, or would you like us to change them?" he asks me as he reminds me of our agreement. We'd go into the city with whoever else was invited and have lunch with them before moving onto the music hall... They'd all get to know each other a little better before and then, we would do the same after...
I could fuse my two groups of friends together into one big group... And lose them all because my mind could not decide if I was Larishazza or someone else. It needed to make a stand or I would force it to do so...
I needed to deal with two main problems and make sure no one ever heard about it... But, how could I do that...? How could I get this handled before I gave Nin my answer!? I know I told him a week...
But, he understood that it was a week from then, right!? So, in fact, I actually had more than until the final day of the weekend to tell him! He would get it, yes...? He wasn't stupid, I knew that, but, confusion was not the same as that...
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"So, and when we thought we had her finished, she gets back up and so gracefully dances us all to our doom!" Clarman tells my friends with upbeat laughter filling the small shop we found. It was something called a Pubman's Singing Bar. Dirris, the drummer, was even singing along with the regulars of this place. Which, is because he was one of them!
If I wasn't so worried about other things, I might've been able to enjoy it. Maybe even dance to it with all the energy in the world... Just to let everyone know how excited I was to be here. How much I loved being with my friends...
Yet, I found myself embarrassed as I couldn't help but look at Nin when I was thinking about that. He stuttered and struggled, but he meant every bit of it... He loved me... Not as Clarman did, as she and her band loved my dancing and how well I could do it.
Nin just loved me... Me... He loved me... Of all the people in the world...
Thankfully, he could not see my blush as he was too busy staring his beak up at a projector. Some kind of sport was playing on it and I assume he was enjoying it. But, he also might've just been trying to ignore our unfortunate stalkers... It was hard work getting Nin into the city...
The school begrudgingly accepted him for their own gain, somewhat. But, the city did not share that sentiment. He was just, a thing to them. But that wasn't true at all...
He was Nin, the scared young man I found in a basement one night... A broken knife in his hand before I took him to bed... Even before I got to know him, just hearing Vadei's distraught words filled me with a certain desire. I wanted to see him enjoy life again in spite of all he faced.
Yet, I did that too well and now he saw me as that reason... Not that there was anything explicitly wrong with that... When I was done with school, we could go to my home... No one cared for Osibindah creatures there!
They'd be fascinated by him! Inspired and eager to learn! Being the people with a world-spanning empire did that... They learned not to judge the world for its differences because that made the job harder.
As cruel as it might've been. And, admittedly... I didn't agree with any of it... But, that stuff didn't matter right now.
"Right, Larishazza?" my sister then said out of nowhere.
"Eh? Oh, yes." I answered with confusion before I dismissed it out of hand as I also did not care. I was so close to figuring it all out, but, I needed time...
"You even paying attention?" she then asked.
"No, I, got to pee." I blurted out before I quickly got up and disappeared upstairs.
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"Where'd she go?" I heard Nin ask as they all stood in front of the busy music hall. I had snuck off before they got near the entrance. And, I made sure they had all the stuff needed to get in. I only had my ticket and mine alone.
But, I would not join them until I had gone and made sure I had properly sorted it all out. I was so close to figuring it out... I just needed space and a map. So, with some regret, I made sure to enact my stealthy getaway.
"She's been going to the toilet a lot since that whole throw-up incident, she'll find us." Einervaene correctly pointed out before I became too distant to hear them anymore. And, as I made my way through the moonlit streets of the city, I searched desperately for a map.
"Oh, hey! Larishazza, looking good, going somewhere?" someone I must've slept with before asked as he and his friends stopped me.
"Yes, now move." I snap as I effortlessly shove them aside and move on until I found a park. It was such an odd thing to find in such a mechanical city, but, it had what I needed. It had a map of the city and I could use it to figure it all out... It was a blessing, too, because it had absurd depth for a park map!
And soon, I found it, a feeling of relief washed over me. I had found my solution to the problem and now I just had to get to it. So, I started to run as fast as I could. Loud taps and my exhausted lungs filled the somewhat quiet streets until I came crashing at the doors of the place.
It was a very good thing that it wasn't too far from the music hall. But, it felt out of place, it did. It was a vandalised building in an otherwise pristine city. I wasn't sure what to make of it all, either, it seemed like someone was keeping a tally on the building's walls.
"Oh, hello. Do you have an appointment with Doctor Nasoalk?" the woman at the front desk asks me with disappointment in her eyes. Was she judging me...? She had no right to! She worked here for some god's sake!
"I-I don't, n-no... But it is very important that I speak to him now. I... I need his help... I..." I told her somewhat.
She sighs, "I'll call him down, let him decide as we don't seem to have anything." she explains as a sigh of relief shoots out of me.
"Thank you!" I exclaim before I slam my backside into a chair. It was all going to come to an end. My mistake would be dealt with and I no longer had to worry about Nin... I could say yes if that is what I decided and I could just be happy.
We both could...
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"The doors to damnation have opened." I uttered quietly as I walked through a public observatory on the other side of the city. Phasing through the other visitors as I stared at all the magnificent displays. Human knowledge let us see so many things. Such as the magic eggshell our world was encapsulated in!
It was honestly, quite fascinating.
But, human knowledge was not always used for good. And now, once again, someone sought its dark power. Vile, evil power that should've never been made. Good holy men, and, thankfully, most of the world despised the practice.
Yet, here in this city, this city defined by the knowledge of its great academy. It was seen as a potentially new frontier. The only problem with human knowledge was that... People got too excited to see how far it could go.
And they lose sight of reality. Yet, I was here to make sure they did not. I would make sure that good hearts won. Even if I had to be so explicitly vile myself to do it.
Yet, a headsman was not chastised in the olden days for his role in keeping the peace? Why should I feel shame and take their claims to heart? All they had to do was listen to me. To accept my conditions and it would all stop.
"Hm? Hello, I'm Doctor Nasoalk." the reluctant but still complicit creator of evil introduced himself as. A greeting like this was one of many I had heard time and time again... Often from different men and women. Their profession was not one that stayed occupied for long in this city.
And I was proud of that fact. Disappointed, however, in the continuedly filled void that was left.
"H-Hi, I... I heard you can help..." the misguided soul who had come to his pit said. And I could only pray that she would see the light before it was sealed. I did not enjoy it... I did not enjoy avenging the dead, but it was a needed task.
Someone had to stand up for those left behind by the world and their vile, beastly abandoners. Perhaps I could spread word of encouragement to her? Offer her the aid she needed to avoid the wrong choice? But, could I even do that?
The women who stepped into that building had problems... Problems indeed...
"Hahaha!" I laughed as the contradiction was funny. Here I was, enjoying one of the Thrurstradtur's fine displays of knowledge. Yet, I was invisible and untouchable to the people here. Because my actions were the ones laughably considered criminal.
"So, you do know what we do here, right? You have thought this through?" the vile murderer asks the madwoman.
"I... Don't know... There's something very important about to happen and..." the woman cried as her torment came to the forefront. And, when I heard that reservation, I stopped. I stopped and reappeared before the building in question. Staring intently while silently praying.
"My dear, make the right decision." I begged her, even if she could not hear me.
"No, don't come in here with that kind of uncertainty. Go!" the evil man told her in a rare act of kindness.
"Yes, push her away, make her understand that she needs to..." I begin to say as that woman's crying struck me to my core. She was lost and whatever held forth a light would ensare her! But, my reputation prevented me from directly intervening. Try as they might, Thrurstradtur's government would never catch me.
But they have gotten very good at figuring it all out despite my blatant advantage! It was worthy of some praise, in fact. Were it not so hilarious how off the mark they were each time! They would never figure it out, but, I had a role to play in this performance!
"NO! I need to make sure he doesn't find out... I need to..." this woman said as her magic suddenly caused my senses to fizzle. It took only a moment to adjust to it, but, it was an argument in its own right. It was not often a witch came to a place like this... So very rare it was...
"Okay, okay, calm down. Come with me for a moment." he tells her as he drags her deeper into this vile place. Towards its only place of unfortunate good...
"Forgive me, Packmaster of Seven, forgive me if I bring another to you." I say in advance as I sense them enter a specially designed room to Undwote. It had turned away many misguided women, thankfully. But, not all bought it...
Apostates and foolish agnostics often tore past this unbeatable argument to life... Yet, I hoped she was neither. That she was just desperate and alone. However, the way she acted, it said a lot about her choice.
She was ashamed...
She was trying to hide it all...
Someone was out there, and she did not want him to know...
I did not get angry at its implications, but, it did make me curious. Enough to change how I might go about this if she made the wrong choice. To see this man for myself, I could? Or, I could just let it be and deal with it should she choose poorly.
"Do you see why I warn you? I cannot have you make this choice if you aren't ready. And I most certainly am not willing to put you under the risks this place has should you be unsure. There are no takebacks here!" he correctly points out at the end. Only, it wasn't him that made sure there was no second chance. It was me that made sure the sowed seed was reaped appropriately...
"I know what it is you do! I don't need you to tell me! I just need it over and done with so I can go back and..." the woman cried as she retreated away from the room.
He then sighs, "I'll give you a bit of time. Make sure to look around and do it carefully. I will go and get the required legal documentation."
And I snorted at that, "Legal..." I spit out as I anxiously tap my walking stick. Creating a delightful sound that only I could and would ever hear under these conditions.
And, tick-tock! As the great attraction of Thrurstradtur turned, so to did time move. We got closer and closer until it came! The time for the choice to be cast!
"Well? Student Larishazza? Are you sure you want to do this?"
"I... I need to be able to tell him without making him worry. I need to tell him without making him think less of me..." she cried on her own at first before the accomplice at the front desk came and comforted her.
"Trust me, you'd be genuinely surprised by how many people came here with that same mindset! Don't worry! They sometimes come back here as happy families!"
"And what about when they don't come back here as that!?"
"Well..."
"They don't." I answer for that despicable woman as I leaned forward. Digging my walking stick deep into the building below with metal-piercing force. An inflexible thing my walking stick was, yet, it only made it more impressive. In this city that stole the magic of others to keep them in line...
"Okay, that is enough! I've made my decision!" the poor woman loudly declares. Causing me to jump in anticipation so I can then lean in and hear it clearly. There would be no mistakes, not that I have ever made any.
"I beg you, do not make the wrong one." I say as I tip my hat and lose the smile my thoughts might've given me. This was as serious as anything ever could be. And I needed to treat it as such. No jokes, no snark and no jabs...
Just me listening and reacting appropriately...
"Please... Please get it over with. See? I agree on everything here! Just, get rid of my mistake so I don't have to worry..." she cries falsely. And, I grew angry. How could she... Her own flesh and blood...
She had been shown what it meant, these actions...
"Wrong choice." I utter lowly as my blade pops out. With the full moon shining bright on its soon to be stained silver edge.