"How about now?" Nin asked as he held up the pre-made frame of a house still. Unlike everyone else in the village bar our friends, he had no trouble at all. In fact, now that my magic has been coming back, I've been able to do similar stuff. I just don't like to do so.
I was quite content to just enjoy a normalish life at the moment. Even if a certain event had yet to come. But, it would come, and until then, my friends would keep me occupied. Unlike before, I was willing to be patient about it now.
It still bothered me and thinking about it still got me upset, but I was easily distracted now. If I felt like I was shifting back towards how I was on the airship. Before we went and sorted out Dad's last present from me. I would just come and find these lot, or, just one of them was fine.
We could talk about everything we have done together. We could talk about the things that worried us and console the other as they spoke. We could even have some fun as we were the only ones here able to use magic. Well, magic of any notable scale as everyone here could do a certain spit-related spell.
And, when it got dark and the Orbital-Halo disappeared for the night, there was still stuff to do. Quiet strolls in the nearby forest or trying to spook the other over the bugs. For the most part, however, we just walked talked. Sometimes, however, I went on my own with Nin.
We steadily opened up with each other and we caught up. He told me about his time before Suhurlodst, and I answered his questions about Vapooliar. Who, I did wonder about from time to time. I may have not treated her like it, but, surely she was my friend, no?
I owed her many apologies, just like I did Nin. But, if the gods were happy to abide by my wishes. We can all just move on from those moments and work on making it better. It made me happy.
And, even though it hasn't really been that long since the loss of Nin's home. Since the city of Tobaballe, a place I despised so much was destroyed. It felt like it was a long time ago. And being with my friends made me happy for the first time in a long time.
"V-Vadei..." I heard my little sister call out nervously as they hid behind a building. And, upon hearing it, I turned to the noise. And, when I saw her, I moved over to her to see what she wanted. And I made sure we were on our own as she has changed since Tobaballe.
The cocky, snarky brat she used to be was gone. If Dad was still here, he'd be shocked out how reserved and docile she has become. It worried me a lot when you knew how much she had changed. A most obvious trait as well was how she treated her hair, she let it grow now.
No more short bangs or shaved down sections of it. She let it grow and she made sure to keep it well-brushed. Her tail was also brushed well. However, she was very protective of it, more so than anyone had a right to be.
I hope she is okay, she doesn't really talk to anyone now. But, she'll still pass on information if asked and come near those she knew. But, everything about her mannerisms now made one thing clear. Her time in that city had left her broken, she still carried the mindset of a slave.
Something I only knew because it was a behaviour they once tried to drill into me. Obedience, compliance, docility and submission. Those are the behaviours they tried to hammer inside of my head. But, I was able to copy my sister for just a little bit.
I was able to stand up for myself and set myself down the path to saving them. Yet, seeing her was just another reminder of how I could have done things better. If it wasn't for the fact her state kept me in a moody state, I might hang around her more. Just to see if she was alright...
"M... M-Mom wants to speak to y-you." she stuttered out like a young child as her tail slightly moved towards me. Only for it to shoot back into her arms when she realised what she had done. And it pained me to watch her shirk away from me with paranoia. It hurt a lot to see her like this.
We might have not got along before it all happened. Before we were all suddenly dragged out of our home by slavers. But, she was still my sister. She was still the one I shared a room with for years.
"Okay, thank you for letting me know." I tell her with a smile that disappeared quickly when she ran off. She wasn't lonely because those around her had abandoned her. She was lonely because she didn't think she had anyone to speak to. But, I can only hope she knows her big sister will hold her if she just asked.
She did not even have to use words, she just had to let out one tear. One contextless, out of nowhere tear was all she needed to let out for her sister to help her. So I can only wish she'd let me see her cry more often. I want to be there for my family and make up for our time apart...
I needed to be there for them, because with Dad gone, there was one less of us around. One less person who understood what we were on about. And that is why I felt so happy around my friends as well. They got it, they really did get it.
But, for now, I had to focus on finding Mom as she wanted something. So I sniffed the air and tried to separate the lingering smell from her actual smell. Yet, even as I tried to filter out her location, I still headed on home. I still walked along the low cobblestone wall and stretched my neck to see into the house quicker.
I did not find her in the house, however, the cellar wasn't open either. Instead, I found her out in the small field of grass we called a garden. I found her on her own, drinking something with drooping ears and a still tail. Some excitement came to her, however, when she caught my scent.
"You wanted to speak to me?" I asked her with a plain tone as I moved into the perimeter of our home. Standing before her until I found myself complying with her gesture for me to sit down beside her. And, when I did, she pulled me down and rested my head against her. It surprised me, just not enough to get a visible reaction.
"I just wanted to see how my Little Va was doing." she said in a rather peculiar tone that had something odd about it. I could only really compare it to how when I got in an argument with her and she was suddenly really nice to everyone else. Of course, this was for a clearly different reason. The way it sounded worried me, however.
"I was fine until Conquei came by." I answered, referring to how her state left me worried.
"She didn't do anything, did she?" Mom asked as she looked down. And I shook my head as she misunderstood my statement. Conquei didn't do anything wrong at all. But, I can't blame Mom here, us not getting along was the norm, after all.
"No, I'm just worried for her." I admit to Mom as I watched a little insect climb to the top of a blade of grass. Wondering every now and then if the winds that rattled the piece of greenery would ever knock the insect down. But, it held on, despite the trouble it might be facing. It kept on climbing until it reached the top.
"We both are, but, I asked you here so I could speak to you. So, what have you been up to?" she asked me as her nose was used for more than just smelling.
"I've been with my friends, helping them with the reconstruction of the village." I tell Mom as if it wasn't obvious. It was either that or I was here, at home. The only other thing I really did while they were here was join the other women in the communal kitchen.
And, after my words, Mom's grip tightened on me, "Vadei, I hope you have been doing what I have asked."
"Despite what you are currently doing to me, no, I'm not a child. I am not obligated to do what you ask." I tell her with neither hatred nor annoyance in my tone. I was just meaning to make the situation clear to her if it had been lost on her.
"I'm still your mother, Vadei. And I would like you to do as you're told."
And when she said that, I moved out of her grip, "I'm not staying away from my friend just because you tell me to."
"He's not your friend..." she nearly growled at me. And that was the moment I decided to go away. What right did she have to speak about my friend that way!? She did not know him!
"Don't ever say such a thing to me again." was the last thing I said to her before I walked away. Watching her initially with a flat expression before the makings of a glare came along. It brought me no joy watching fury build up in her. It did not make me happy, knowing the threats she was likely to come out with meant nothing.
What it did was make me upset, it made me angry and annoyed. Nin was a good friend and he did not deserve this kind of reaction from her. He's already made it abundantly clear that he was not just some bug. He was a good man dealt one of the worst hands out there.
I hated what she was doing, she was trying to stoke my fears of osibindah and have them apply to him. I pointed out how she was wrong over and over but she still did not listen. She was aware of Nin's part in saving her life from slavery. How he also fought to save our home from the bugs. Yet, she still spoke of him in such a foul way.
It was not enough for me to start disliking her, not trusting her or even hating her. But, I really had, had enough with these accusations of hers. And I was worried for Nin, all it would take is one comment from Mom and he'd be on the run. They'd all be on the run as they would not be able to stay here anymore.
They weren't in danger, but, I wasn't worried about that. I just did not know if I was ready to say goodbye to them yet. I wasn't going back to Suhurlodst once they were on their way. So I wanted to enjoy my last few days with them.
I wanted us to part on a good note, and, if they ever came back. I wanted to be able to recall those good times. But Mom's attitude put that all at risk! If she let one-word slip about Nin, she'd ruin it all.
We would never see each other again and our last moments would be awful. If Nin's words really have rung true, this would be a repeat of something he has handled before. And even though I was different back then, I had seen the results at Suhurlodst. He put on a joking facade a lot now because otherwise, he'd keep trying until the knife didn't break...
There might have been a time where my own worries made me cruel. Cruel to the point I would laugh it off without a second thought. But, Nin has given me many reasons to care now. And even if he hadn't, seeing him put that knife there that one night shocked me.
It was just so sudden when it all happened. And even now, as I watched him mess around and play how he could. I couldn't help but think about what it would take to make it happen again. He's already quick to anger over the mere mention of his home after all...
"Hey! Vadei! Help!" Nin called out as he tried to swat away Larishazza as she dashed around him and jabbed him with her fingers. Of course, she was laughing the entire time and making silly noises. And, it made me smile for a moment too. She was so childish at times but I only found myself enjoying it really.
"She's on my side as you can tell!" Larishazza let out when she caught onto the fact I was too busy watching the pair.
"Why won't somebody help me!?" Nin moaned with a strange cry as he tried to manoeuvre his large torso away. He was, however, saved by the eventual firm hand of Liadanann who did nothing but work.
"The pair of you, cut it out!" she demanded as she got up in their faces. I could not see Nin's face, but, I had a feeling a smirk was there. Larishazza, however, I could see, and she was acting like she had done nothing.
"So where do I put this bucket of nails?" Einervaene then asked as she quietly stood around waiting. She had been watching the pair as I had, she enjoyed it too. But she was also mostly waiting for Liadanann to notice her.
"Into the designated spots!" Liadanann nearly yelled in Einervaene's face before she stomped away to another part of the village.
"What spot...?" the confused woman asked as she continued to hold onto the bucket with uncertainty.
"Just leave it by some other supplies, I'm sure someone will take a few." I answer for her as I make them aware of my return.
"So what did she want?" Larishazza was quick to ask as she leaned her head on my shoulder. Her wide-open eyes stared intently at my face as I tried to look back at her.
I did not want to answer this question, honestly, however, "Nothing important." I told her before sitting down. My body reacted with some surprise as well when the planks I was on shook. Nin had copied me and was letting out a relaxed groan as he sat there.
"I really wish they weren't taking advantage of us..." Nin complained soon after he finished his groaning.
"Can you blame us? It's not every day we get some free labour capable of rebuilding our village and growing it." I say, not bothered one bit by how many new additions these three have helped make. I'm not sure how much Liadanann has helped, though. She seems to just walk around with paper being bossy.
"I can and I will. There's not even enough people here to fill up these buildings!" Nin complained as he pointed a wrapped-up finger at the front of these new buildings. They weren't properly connected to the main road like the older shops were. So they stood out a lot more and if one headed out to the mountain before us. You could see the village had grown a lot on the left.
The right side, however, had not really been touched. As those at the temple have made it clear they'd do it on their own. Not out of pride, but rather, from what I knew of them. Humility is what made them do it.
If you wanted to find people equally as thankful compared to me for these three, it was there. Everyone was thankful, sure, but, it was those at the temple that refused to push their luck. I did not know why, no one would think bad of them for it and no god or goddess forbade it. So I was a little curious as to why they did it all on their own.
They gathered up the orphans staying with them, and they painted their fence. They fixed the playset they had set up in an empty patch of grass. They covered up and filled in the cracks the main temple had. And it was all just them lot, and I had no idea why.
"I don't mind doing all this work. Putting some muscles on this body." Larishazza joked as she curled up her biceps. She even did a few poses that showed off how toned her body actually was. She wasn't like Vapooliar, but you could tell from a glance she was an active person. Assuming you did not catch her dancing or hopping about the place when you saw her.
"Eh, I suppose it is something to do." Nin let out as his eyes settled on the building they had been working on. It was quite a big one, it even had a large segment set aside for what looked like a garden.
"Did they say what this was for?" I ended up asking as I couldn't quite figure it out. These buildings could be anything, really, but, this one seemed different. Its size most certainly made it clear, but, there were also other details. Like how due to the lack of a wall, I could see a box of old toys in the corner.
"You'd have to ask Liada, she's the one who has gone around asking people about what they would like." Nin answered as his finger picked away at a plank of wood.
"Alright, I will." I say to him as I got up to go look for her. Not that it took long at all as she smelled very peculiar. Not in the bad way, she smelled very distinct is what I really meant. After all, like Nin, she stuck out in my nose, moreso, actually. She was something entirely new while Nin smelled like osibindah, unfortunately.
"Great, just great. I just had to listen to him about these stupid drawings." I heard Liadanann complain to herself as she scribbled away on her paper.
"Am I interrupting?" I asked first when she looked up at me.
"Yes, but not in the bad way." she sighed out as she threw down her writing and drawing tools.
"That's good, would you mind if I asked you something?"
"As long as it is not about this." she told me as one of her fingers slapped itself onto the paper.
"That building the other three are working on, what is it?" I asked after ignoring the way she treated the drawing. If she did not want me probing, then I'd oblige.
"It's a school. Most of the parents and the... Priests... Requested it." she answers, and, were it not for my surprise at it, I'd be annoyed at her tone towards the end.
"A school?" I repeat as I looked back at where I had come from. Out of all the things here, that was perhaps the one place I could have used when I was younger. We didn't have a local school so me and my sister were largely taught by Mom or Dad. It might have been one of the reasons Conquei got on everyone's nerves so much as well.
None of the other pups went to school either, so they just followed what their parents taught them. And in the case of some of the boys, they learned carpentry or hunting skills. And Conquei just preferred it to being stuck inside in the quiet doing little tasks with her hands. Not that I really enjoyed it either, but, we had plenty of time for playing.
It's not like we had a strict schedule or anything. We just did it when either Mom or Dad felt like it as they were mostly preoccupied. Dad had his job on one of the farms and Mom had all her chores and us two to worry about. But, we were pups back then, doing anything but playing was boring.
However, I did sometimes wish I could have gone to school. Because it would make Mom's life easier and we could have done something new each day. But, unfortunately, the only school nearby was in another town. So we only saw one if we went along the main road for a day trip or something else.
Dad did often let us tag along, after all when the farm's began to sell their goods. Money couldn't really be made here, so they shipped what was left elsewhere. That money in turn went into our few shops which brought some more people into our village. But, we oxfuine were a close lot.
We liked to stay with our clans so we often avoided travelling on our own. It just felt unnatural to leave on our own and join up with another. Thankfully, I was able to avoid most of the uncomfortableness during my travels. And it probably helped that I recognised those three as my friends, not a means to start over.
"So do you know who's going to teach there?" I asked once my gaze returned to Liadanann.
"No, nor do I care. If they wanted one built, they probably have a plan already." she answers with a shrug. Leaving me on my own to contemplate an answer inside my head. And I just went with the assumption that they'd rotate parents in and out to teach skills pups might need. Assuming they weren't working alongside the parent.
If I had a brother instead of a sister, for example, Dad would probably have taken him to the farm. Or, the pup of a hunter would be following their dad as they tracked game. But, for us daughters, we'd probably end up in the school anyway. Less burden on our Mom's after all.
Which made me smile to some extent, as Mom had done that a few times. Just shoving me and Conquei onto Dad so she could enjoy the breeze or chat with the other moms. Not that Dad minded, he enjoyed spending time with us... And I enjoyed it too, despite how different it was to our time with Mom.
"Is there anything else you have planned?" I then asked her, leaning closer to her drawing so I could see it better.
"No, we're actually nearly done. I'm just trying to see what I can sneak in." she sighs out.
"Why would you want to sneak stuff in?"
"Because this place is just so lacking... I don't like it." Liadanann admits.
"I hope you don't change too much, this is still my home." I say to her half-seriously. I was grateful for the things these lot were doing, but, some of these changes might cause issues. After all, some of these buildings might motivate greed from others. Squeeze out more taxes and all that nonsense...
"At the rate things are going, I won't be able to change much at all. You just don't have the tools I need for the job." Liadanann says before she draws a large cross over her paper.
"Well, good luck with whatever it is you plan on adding." I say with a slight nod before I returned to the others somewhat. I did not go to them directly, instead, I went straight into the building so I could look around. I stopped and picked up some of the toys and I looked at the barren rooms. It was unfinished, clearly, but, I liked what I saw.
Our village had been through a lot and here it was, getting a little better. It made me selfishly smile a bit as well because it was my friendship that did this. The people I made friends with had greatly helped out my home. I just wish that I would not be thanking them under such sad circumstances later.
But, I did not like to think on that day, I wanted to enjoy my time with them. So, I left the under-construction school and went back to my friends. Standing around and just smiling until I felt like I had an opportunity to get involved. I did not mind how long it was I had to wait.
I just enjoyed their company too much, "I'm done for the moment, can we do something else?" Nin let out as he began to slack off on his work.
"To the forest!" Larishazza would declare randomly, but, no one had any objections to the suggestion.
If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.
"If you're headed out that way, I know a few good spots." I tell them as I move to the front so I could lead the trio. Returning each smile they gave me as we headed out into the shadows of the trees.
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"Why won't she listen to me!? Why doesn't she get it!?" I found myself asking the only person present, that being myself as well. I tried to warn my Little Va about the danger she was exposing herself to, but, she brushed it off. Surely the death of her father would make her more aware of how easily life was lost!? So why did she not care...?
How is it she was not grasping how worried this made me? That thing was an osibindah! He was one of the creatures that had just so recently attacked our home! He was not to be trusted in any capacity!
"What do I do, Dear? Neither of them are listening to me..." I then said with a sniffle as I looked at the wrapped-up corpse of my husband. We were still waiting for our turn to get him buried, so he had been left in our bed. Though, I suppose it was now just my bed. And I certainly felt that every night since we put him there, as it was always so cold near him...
Yet, despite how much the sight before me bothered me. How distraught and anxious it made me, I tried to keep a cool head. I needed to think of ways to make sure my daughters were safe. One just needed to speak to me and the other needed to heed my concerns.
But how could I do that? I needed a moment where they would just be forced to speak with me. But, if my little Conqy Bonk isolates herself all the time, how would I get her attention? If my Little Va was always near her friends, how could I keep her attention?
I was stuck in a mental marsh that just never seemed to end. At least, until I noticed a coloured envelope bearing the seal of the lord who ruled these lands. It wasn't anything special on its own, but it helped jog my memory. And this would probably be the only time such an envelope filled me with joy.
Because it reminded me of something I once spoke about with Einervaene. She asked me about means we could seek help, and I explained the folly of it. Folly or no, however, it presented me with something I could do. If I got her and that bug to go off and seek help for our village, I could have my time with Vadei.
I could finally have a moment where I could get it into her head that she was too careless. But I needed to go about this with subtlety as just speaking about it would expose it as false. Yet, that envelope once again offered me a solution. If I just kept it on me, I could get an innocent lie going...
It did not make me happy, knowing I had to lie to get my daughter's attention and time. But, it was a necessary evil to make sure she was safe. I needed her to be away from that thing. Her father, my husband, he would have wanted this.
He would have wanted her to be safe and well...
"Don't worry, Dear... I'll make sure our daughter handles your passing. I'll make sure she grows old and lives a good life." I tearfully smiled at him before I kissed his cold lips. I covered my face as I normally would as tears began to flow in force. I missed him so much and each day I was forced to see him in this state.
And, when I was nearly done crying, I went and hid the envelope. I put it under the carpet near the spice cupboard as only I really ever went there. Then, when it was properly tucked away, I went outside. Slowly sniffing the air until I caught onto the trail of my youngest.
I started walking towards her after that, Vadei was too hard to get to at the moment. I had just so recently seen her go into the forest with her friends after all. That creature too, unfortunately. It would be impossible to speak to her without finding myself overwhelmed.
So, if I wanted to put my mind somewhat at ease, Conquei was the only one I could help. And, hopefully, or, unfortunately depending on how you looked at it. I could at least pressure her into staying so we could talk. If she would talk, I did not know, but I really, really wished she would.
I don't like how she is at the moment, she's changed and not in a good way. She hasn't become the daughter I and her father tried to nurture her into being. She's been forced into that by the cruelty of the humans that took her. I wanted my daughter back, and this might be the first few steps towards it.
And, when I found her, on her own, shuddering in what seemed to be fear, I stopped. I just did not know what to make of it, she was fine, fine and alone. Yet, she still acted as if some beast was about to grab her. She still curled in on herself and tried to hideaway.
"I don't think you'd fit in there anymore." I joked as an opening, hoping it would bring some ease to my daughter. She, however, had no response for me other than a fearful stare. I would never do anything to hurt her and yet, she gives me that look. So, the best I could do was open my arms and gesture for her to come closer.
"Mom..." she would quietly whine she eventually moved her head onto my lap as her tail tip covered her face. And, when I felt like she had opened up enough, I started to stroke her hair. Slowly running my carefully filed claws through her similarly coloured, brownish-red strands.
"What's wrong? You know you can tell me." I asked softly. Changing up how I stroked her to see if it would coax out the words I wanted. I wanted to know what bothered her so I could help her somehow. I might never get it all, but I could at least try.
"No..." she tearfully trembled out as she curled up into an even tighter circle. And, when I heard that, I stopped trying to coax an answer out of her. I gave up and just tried to make her feel comfortable. There was no way I was going to get an answer out of her like this.
And that annoyed me to no end as it meant I could only watch her suffer. I cannot do anything if she does not tell me what happened in that dreaded place. I could ask those who were taken with her, but, why would they tell me? If my daughter, once brash and confident was now an emotional wreck.
What's to say those who also went with her had not turned out the same. Admittedly, I did not actually know the answer to that. I've been so focused on my daughters that I have been neglecting my part in the village. Not that I really had a part that was not focused around these two.
Yet, as I thought on the time I have spent with them, I ended up singing quietly, "One little ear, so soft and wavy." I sang as I gently pinched one of Conquei's ears.
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"Oh, you lot, before you go." I called out to Vadei's group of friends after they came to pick her up after she finished her breakfast. It was time to implement my plan, so I also had the envelope in my hand.
"What's that?" Einervaene asked as Vadei frowned at it. And, I tried to ignore the towering shadow of the bug, but, it was hard to do so.
"Just some mail from the lord of our lands, but, it opens up something. We just need someone to go to Hachrain, the city where he resides." I say.
"So we have a way to get help for the village?" Einervaene asks excitedly. It seems the detail I was worried about her remembering had been forgotten. In the moment or before, it did not matter.
"Yes, I believe you are our best hope too. You can quickly travel, with help, and get help for our village." I say with a smile to her, briefly gesturing at the bug as I did so.
"Hm, what about me?" it would ask after it noticed the gesture.
"You're... Big, you can help intimidate." I say slowly, and, it seems they mistook it for a joke.
"Okay, bolt us up." he says as he suddenly grabs Einervaene. The movement surprised her and the two were soon out of sight. The envelope no longer in my grip as I had handed it over. If they did get help, that would be wonderful, but, I just wanted time with my daughter.
"Aw... Now I'm stuck building on my own..." the blue-haired one complained before she ran off towards the sound of playing children.
"Why did you just like that?" Vadei asked.
And while I was shocked on the inside, I did not display it, "I wanted to speak with you." I answered as I gestured for her to sit down beside me.
"You mean slander my friend who you insist so much about but don't know anything about!?" she nearly snapped as her arms crossed over each other.
"No, I don't want to talk about... Your friend. I just want to see how you are doing." I tell her openly as she cooled down slightly. And it was a struggle to refer to the bug as anything but it.
"I'm probably going to be bored for the rest of today." she comments as she looks away with a largely blank expression.
"There are things you can do with me or your sister."
"But I want to be with my friends..." she insists as the makings of a glare get directed at me.
"I'm not saying you can- Hey! Vadei!" I started to say before she started to walk off.
"What do you want!?" she asks me as she turns around to look at me as I moved to give chase.
"I've told you, I just want to see if you're alright. Please, just tell me."
"I'm fine, just a little bored is all." she says to me with a plain tone. Even as the words she used stung harshly despite it.
"Vadei... Please..." I call out as I watch her walk off. Holding my hand out initially before I let it fall to my side. My plan had failed, and she was insistent on not speaking to me.
"M-Mom... I'm g-going into the f-forest." my younger daughter revealed to me as she slowly left the house.
"Okay, Conquei, stay safe..." I sigh out as my hands come together. I wanted my daughter to reassure me, but she didn't. So, when I was sure I was on my own again, I quietly cried to myself. What was I going to do about Vadei if she was not willing to speak to me?
What was I going to do!?
I suppose I could just try and occupy my mind. Go over and clean up the house once again. Yet, I knew that I would still think of my daughter during that. So, once again, I was clueless.
Yet, I went ahead and tried to do some chores while I waited for my daughters to come back.
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"Dinner's ready..." I quietly mumbled to myself as I finished dishing it up. But, I did not eat any of it. I just carried on being quiet and stared at the empty spots around. My husband was not ahead of me, Conquei was not on the left and Vadei was not on the right
I was on my own, just like I had been all day since my plan failed. I had even left the doors and windows open, hoping the smell would bring one of them home. But, no, it had not done anything of the sort, by the looks of it. At least, that is what I was too willing to assume before I heard footsteps by the door.
It was Conquei, and she let her nose guide her weary feet. She even still sat down in her usual spot, and that eased some of my pain. I loved it so much that she still did that... I just wish she would speak to me...
"T-There you go, Dear." I tell her as I move some things I know she likes closer to her. And I tried my hardest to not react openly when she flinched at my actions. How could she not trust me...? I was her mother, I would never hurt her like the humans had!
Despite that initial reaction, though, my youngest daughter still sat down to eat. And I tried to eat some myself in an effort to enjoy the moment. However, I wasn't sure if I could when Vadei eventually appeared. Something was very wrong and a face I did not want to see again was back.
She was starting to look a little too like how she did on the airship. So I tried to get rid of it by offering her some of the food I know she liked. I even gave her a bigger portion of it, hoping it would do something. Yet, I did not get one smile or word of thanks.
She was borderline ignoring me and if it wasn't for the fact the food was here. I would not have been surprised and would have been very hurt by her going elsewhere. What I had origionally intended as a light-hearted meal had already been ruined. And, somehow, not a single word had been uttered.
So I took a sip from my flat cup and scrunched my face up a little at its contents. I did not want to have to resort to doing this, but, I needed something to ease my mind. It used to be how I did it, after all. I just, had a drink to calm myself.
And this time, I used some of my late Husband's human-made stuff. It was still not to my liking, but, it made me feel better. If only because it reminded me of when he tried to feed me the stuff before. He liked that, watching me try his special drinks only to spit it out over the floor.
Unlike all those times, however, I kept it in, "I actually managed to keep it down for once!" I say to my daughters, hoping that such memories could at least bring out a brief smile. But it did it for neither of them, in fact, Conquei shuffled away from me. Vadei did nothing, she just played with her food.
And I went quiet again. I went back to eating my food slowly and the silence was deafening. It wasn't quiet because we were having a peaceful meal. No, it was quiet because of things I had done and things I could not solve.
It was perhaps, the worst kind of meal one could have. Especially when the people here were my daughters, two I loved so very much. And it hurt very badly knowing my part or lack of it contributed to the mood. And it left me sighing once again, knowing that.
Then, when I had, had enough of the silence, I tried to strike up conversation, "So, have either of you two done anything interesting today? I can't say doing chores again is very-"
"Be quiet..." Vadei suddenly interrupted as she slowly dragged a utensil out of her mouth.
"I'm just trying to have a conversation..." I tried to blow off with humour as my chest suddenly felt off.
"No, you're not." Vadei comments.
"You are not me, so don't pretend you are." I say with clear frustration in my tone as my daughter continued to stare at her plate.
"I'm not pretending anything, just saying what I know." she says.
"And know little you do." I tell her as my tone raises and her fist suddenly hits the table.
"I know damn well more than you!" she nearly yells as her body takes on an aggressive posture.
"DO NOT HIT MY TABLE!" I shout back at her as my ears shoot up and tail rises. Yet, unlike my daughter, I had no magic to show off. So when a spell began to form, I felt scared. She was preparing a weapon against me...
"THEN DON'T SEND MY FRIENDS OFF ON FALSE ERRANDS!" she shouts back, and, in that moment, I suddenly rose up to my feet. Knocking the table in the process and it sounded louder than it should have.
"THE SAFETY OF THIS VILLAGE IS NO FALSE ERRAND YOU STUPID PUP!" I dismissively shout down at her as she begins to growl.
"Then why did you send two of the people who protected it to do it!?" she asks me accusingly which was enough to make me freeze in surprise. And I quickly found myself moving back towards the wall as she growled some more. Only for her to suddenly calm down before she sat back down.
"Conquei...?" I would ask first as I notice that my other daughter had gone missing. And, had it not been for the sounds of rummaging taking place in her shared room, I would not know. I was too clouded in the head to just sniff her out as Vadei overwhelmed it. But, it was enough to make me calm if one could really call it that...
Then, all of a sudden, Vadei's utensils hit her plate, "I'm not hungry..." was all Vadei said as she left.
"No, finish your dinner." I tried to order her as I immediately began to get worried.
"No."
"Eat it!" I reiterate as I stand up. My paranoia getting the better of me as I began to see memories of her starving body. The last time she was emotionally distressed she got like that. And if I had pushed her into that boundary once again...!?
"No." she repeated as she walked off.
"VADEI! LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER AND EAT YOUR DINNER! DO YOU HEAR ME!?" I yell at her as I suddenly approach her. But, I stopped at the start of the hallway that lead to our bedrooms.
"How many times do I have to repeat things with you?" she asked me as I started to break down crying. Openly wailing like a baby when she closed the door behind her.
"W-Why won't you listen to me... YOU STUPID GIRL!?" I whimpered before suddenly switching to screaming. And, after that, I just couldn't let any more words out. So I somehow got back to my feet and pick up my husband's alcohol. I then rushed to the cellar to grab more of it.
I needed something to keep my mind occupied and this was all there was. I couldn't just rant to someone, neither of them cared or would listen. My husband was dead and I would never find comfort in him again. So I took various drinks and went off into the forest.
Hiding in what seemed to be its darkest part before I started to gulp some down. And I quickly began to cough it back up violently when its burn made my throat convulse. And when it stopped, I just drank again. Repeating the process until what booze did make it inside made the reaction stop.
"Dear, w-what I have I done wrong?" I asked no one as I stared at a tree. It might have been dark, but, I knew where I was. This was a special little place me and my late husband went to when we were younger. It was the night we made Vadei, in fact.
In hindsight, it held one part of the trifecta of my best memories. One was the day I first kissed my Husband-to-be. Another was the night Conquei first came into my belly. And one, was when Vadei came into being as well.
I guess once could say, the day I first held them should have held that spot. But, I liked to think of it as I always held them from the first day in my belly onwards. Yet, now, I was not even able to hold either of them. One was scared of me and the other hated me, that was only way any of this made any sense.
I've only been doing right by them yet one ran off scared and the other refused to listen. She was letting her guard down around an osibindah! Conquei might have lost her backbone in that damned human city, but at least she rightfully feared it! Vadei, however, she treated it as a friend.
A friend! No, she was deluded and did not know what she was talking about. She had spent so many days starving that she had messed her brain up. I mean, she was captured by a bug exactly because of that!
She came up with this stupid idea in the heat of the moment! A moment that only came to be because she was starving herself and refusing to eat! Despite how much her loving mother insisted, no matter how obvious it was. She still refused to listen even back then...
"Please tell me what to do, Dear, I don't know what I can do... I don't know what either of them need from me..." I sobbed as I spilt a bottle on the grass before me. Violently chucking it away after being frustrated by the simple act. Yet, that just made me cry even more as it was something that belonged to my husband. It wasn't mine yet so recently I had demanded someone show respect to my stuff...
Thankfully, so very thankfully, human-made goods were literally made of sterner stuff. So the bottle was still intact when I looked at its moonlit form. And, my anger would start to run out of me. Only to be replaced by misery and depression.
The nearby pond as well showed me what I looked like. And I did not look like a loving mother. I looked like a hideous, raving lunatic. Yet, I also looked like Vadei in a way, my expression was just like hers.
Miserable was all one could describe it with. My face was one full of misery and despair. And, as I acknowledged how lonely I was at the moment, the tears came back. My precious Little Va needed help and I cut her off from it...
"Why am I like this!?" I asked myself with flowing tears as my claws began to cut into my skin. And it wasn't until I felt the blood flow that I stopped doing it. I would then just sit there, quietly. I ignored the drink I gathered and even the harsh stinging on my forehead.
Then, I sighed and fell down to the ground. I stared quietly at the grass before me until I heard a noise. It was too heavy to be anyone from the village. And, having been frightened earlier by my daughter's actions, I wasn't able to show courage here.
"Oh, it's just you." a voice I did not want to hear said as it stepped out into the moonlight. With it came the smell of a monster and it towered over me. There was no point in wailing, nor was there any point in calling for help. If this thing wanted me dead, all it had to do was kick forward.
"Wh-What do you want?" I asked it as I began to crawl away from it. Yet, I also tried to protect my husband's property. If only because it made me feel slightly safe knowing it reminded me of him. Not that I needed it, I'd probably meet up with him soon.
"Vadei asked me to find you." It told me, and, when I heard my daughter's name, my ears rose.
"Why didn't she come herself!?" I nearly spat out as I began to snarl. If this was my daughter showing she was paying attention, I was not amused.
"She said she doesn't think she can speak to you right now without you getting irrational. I know it is because of me, so, here I am." It said as it slid down a tree until it thumped onto the ground.
"I-I'm the irrational one!?" I gawked before nearly laughing at the mere suggestion of it. She considered this thing a friend and she accused me of it! She accused me!?
"Her words, not mine." It said.
"And what are your words, hm? Will you laugh at my pathetic state!?" I growled whilst also shivering in fear. I hated this creature and I knew it would only speed up the way to my eventual death.
"I want to see if you're alright. Vadei isn't in the best of places right now and she feels lonely without you."
"And what do you know of my daughter's suffering, bug!?"
"Because she's told me about it. She told me yesterday, the day before that. Since the day we arrived here. Since the hour I came back." It explained to me. And I hated how it was the one to do it. I did not need my daughter to speak with this thing. I needed them to speak with me!
"Oh, she's telling you stuff is she?" I bitterly mumbled before I took a sip. Nearly coughing it back up afterwards, however.
"I won't be here soon. We said we be here until she was feeling better. And, for the most part, she's set for it to be all done when... It's your turn to go to the temple." It said before finishing with a sigh.
"Hurry up and leave, then." I commented with a snort.
"For Vadei's sake, please don't do this." It then said to me. And I found myself going quiet once I heard that. For the sake of my daughter, I should be kind to this monster!?
"All I have been doing is acting for her sake... You're an osibindah..."
"I know I am, but, look into my eyes. What kind are they?" It asked me as it removed its hat and mask and exposed its hideous head.
"A bu-" I initially was going to comment before I properly focused on Its pale blue iris', "Human eyes." I eventually commented.
"I'm not an osibindah up here." It told me as it tapped its head before it moved a hand to its heart.
"Then why are you one!?" I interrogated him with.
"I don't know, a lot happened and now I am one."
"Oh, do explain, I have all the time in the world." I slurred out before I had another drink. I needed something to keep the laughter down.
"When I first met your daughter, or, saw her, rather. She was being dragged away into a cage. I was sitting in a hauler with someone who I should never have trusted. After that, I did not meet her again until I got out of a hive, just like the one we cleared out recently."
"And the point of this story...?"
"Your daughter met me as a human, she doesn't see me as an osibindah, at least, not anymore. She helped keep me alive just as much as I have hers."
"Oh, I'm aware, her arguments for why I should trust something like you rely on it."
"I'm not asking that you trust me, I just want Vadei happy." he told me as one of his claws moved over a knee.
"I'm trying..." I whimpered out after he said that.
"I know, I don't think anyone, not even her can say you're not trying. You just need to have some faith in her decisions."
"YOU'RE A BUG!" I shouted out after that. If having trust in her decisions meant being comfortable around this thing...
"Her decisions let you be a family once again." he said.
And I stopped, I stopped being angry and I cried again, "A family that is broken beyond repair..." I let out with clear despair.
"Right... Wastla, is it?"
"Don't say my name..."
"Alright, anyway. My name is Nin Urtuan. I went along with your daughter so I could go back home. And, the reason I am here is that I failed to protect my home. My home is gone. And it is my fault."
I said nothing horrible in return and just tightened my grip on my clothes, "And why does that mean you have to come here?"
"Because I d-don't want to see my friends feel the same way. I want them to enjoy their homes. Their families." he struggled to get out before it all just surged out in one go.
"And I am making my family worse?" I asked him.
"No... But you might." he cautioned as he hid his face. A brief glittery shine also appeared by his eyes before they were hidden away.
"Then how do I stop it? I don't want either of them to hate me... I'm trying, okay!? I really am trying to help them..."
"I know... And, while I can't say much regarding the other one. I know, at the very least, that, with Vadei, you just need to trust her. She's spent so long trying to save you, she's not going to make a decision that puts you at risk!" he argued passionately as he steadily rose to his feet.
"Okay... I'll try..." I let out before I uncomfortably held out my hand for him. If I was to trust my daughter's choices, I could start here. With a simple request for help so I could get to my feet.
"Okay, good. Now, let's get you home so Vadei can stop being so worried." he says to me, encouraging me to go on ahead once I had gathered up the drinks.
"Can you put these back in the cellar, then? I want to speak to my Little Va..." I ask of the man I had been insulting so recently.
"Sure, now, go." was all he said before I rushed off. My hands held up the lower part of my dress and I rushed back home. Coming to a panting stop, however, just before I left the forest. This drinking I had been doing was making it hard to stay upright.
But, I made it out of the forest and back to the walls of my garden. And I walked back into that garden, smiling slightly at the sight of my home in the dark. Then, I sniffed the air, because I smelled my daughter. It was a smell mixed into a drink we normally only had on special occassions.
"I-I made some t-tea..." Vadei admitted as she sat at on end of the table with a steaming tea pot in front of her. Her ears were down and her tail was almost dead. She was shivering and her face was red. In many ways, she was a mirror.
But, I ignored the tea and I walked around the table. I sat down next to my daughter and I hugged her. I stroked her hair slowly and kept my lips near her face. I hummed the first song that came to mind and I quietly cried as she cried more openly.
"I love you, Vadei." I eventually said after I kissed her head. Making sure my grip was tight as well once I had done so.
"Love you too..." she said with a hiccup at the end before her hand slowly went to the table.
"What tea did you use?" I asked as it has been so long since we had any. Normally, we had it as a regular end of the week thing. We played a game to decide which one we used. Not that we ever had much of a selection anyway.
"I don't know..." she giggled out strangely as her nail dug slightly into the table.
"Oooo, a mystery tea." I cooed before I took a cup and brought it near my nose. It was one of those things I liked to smell at its strongest. I was also hoping that the smell would remind me of what it might have been. Alas, it had been so long that the name did not come.
"I don't know if I did it right... Normally it was you that made it."
"It's perfect." I complimented after taking a sip. However, I left out a comment regarding her mixing of the leaves. She had put multiple types in there. But, that just did not matter right now.
"Would you like some milk, Mom?" she asked as her hand eventually reached for the small jug.
"Sure, Dear, I'll have some." I say as I look outside when I see something move in the dark. Nin had just left the forest with my husband's drinks. But, I wanted to focus on my daughter. The one I had in my arms right now.
And, to do so, I lowered my arm and put it forward. I let her awkwardly fill my cup with milk and I watched it warp the colour. It was no longer clear now. It had taken on a more full appearence.
Truth be told as well, I did not like milk with my tea. That was something Vadei preferred to do. But, I went along with it. Just because I owed her a lot and I had been very selfish recently.
It wasn't much, admittedly, but, a simple gesture like this was better than nothing. And I could tell that she appreciated it. Because she was clearly remembering how often I dismissed her during teatime. And I was totally justified to do stuff like that, her tastes in teatime stuff were horrible.
"Simar spoke to me earlier, he said that they have time to bury Dad now." she told me as her head moved about on my chest.
"That's good, does Conquei know?"
"Yeah... I do..." my youngest said as she hid around the corner and looked at us.
"Do you want to come over here and give Mom some cuddles?" I asked her as I opened up my arms. She gave no verbal reply, but she did come and give me a hug. She even relaxed her tail and wrapped it around my front. Both of them did.
"So what do we do with Dad, then?" Vadei eventually asked after we spent some time quietly drinking tea.
"We'll keep him in bed for the moment, he's had a long day." I joked without so much as a smile or laugh of any kind.
"I hope we're quiet enough for him." Conquei added with a similar tone and behaviour.
"I'm sure he won't mind waking up and seeing his three favourite people in one spot." I tell them both before curling up my tail between them. Slowly watching the pair as they started to fall asleep like they used to when they were younger. And while I probably wasn't going to sleep soundly upright, I did enjoy the way it felt.
I loved these two so very much I did...