"Yes, like that. Come on, faster, more aggressive!" I urged one of my cadets as I walked about the battlefield we had made for them. Though, to keep everyone else on their toes and in the air if they could be. I declined any requests to put up barriers. So missed spells came right for us.
Albeit, unlike them, I could just sit through them without a care. I was catching on to something, however. I could not encourage them to be nimble or agile if I just exploited my one-off advantages. So I too had to get into the habit of weaving past spells.
That didn't stop me from occasionally stopping a spell with just a hand, though. As that had great educational potential as well. It gave them an idea of what to strive towards. It helped make it seem that my strength was a more reachable goal.
Even if they had no idea of how vast our differences were. These were all carefree students of Suhurlodst. I am... Was a Valkinvar.
I was a soldier of the highest calibre, indomitable towards all but mighty armies. I had all this experience within me but it was hard to explain it. Even with all the effort I have put in, I don't feel like they're improving. They'd argue otherwise with a smile of pure gladness and excitement.
But there was so much that I could see that they could not. Most of them were not even a quarter of my age. They had no idea how much knowledge was tuned into my body that I just could not explain. Especially when they were so weak in comparison.
"VAPOOLI-" someone suddenly screamed before a seemingly potent spell slammed against me. But, I just stood there, unfazed by it. Not even my hair, which I had grown out slightly compared to normal had been disturbed.
"See? You're over reacting." one of the cadets tells another with a bemused jab.
"We can't know that!" she hysterically snapped back at him before she rushed over to me.
"Are you alright?" I asked her as I observed the awkward tone that seemed to have moved in.
"A-A-Am I...?" she stuttered in disbelief as she looked me over. And I frowned as the shock slowly disappeared from her. Awe and reverence soon came in and took over. My expression didn't even phase her.
"Carry on if you want, I am going for a walk." I tell the group before I move to the portal controls. Flicking and turning what needed to be done before then stepping through the portal. And once I was on the other side, I made a beeline for the exit. Passing by everyone else swiftly and unobtrusively.
Contrary to what I had just said, though, I found myself quickly going into the air rather. My eyes slowly wandered over to the mighty construct lingering by the academy. A feeling of uncertainty filled me as I did so. To be so close to something like this, even after all this time...
I still remembered it all so clearly. The hope in the army as we pushed out from Giant's Victory. The hope that was in me to some extent. We were going to do it, we were going to push them from our walls and advance for once.
I would have served as an anvil for the Seven-Peaks Union forces to break upon. While the army headed by the Zaphadren-Valkinvar swung around another broken line to smash against their rear. We were supposed to slaughter the heretics to the man and leave the valley stained red.
A feast for predators...
But no, that is not what happened, and I still did not understand why. We did not meet an advancing army on that day. What we had turned back did not come back at us with greater force. No, it was one of those things.
A giant made of steel, with more weight of shot than all of Giant's Victory's walls and outlying forts. Its magic was purer than my own, me, a Valkinvar who was more than a century old. That inexplicit thing came from the sky and fired only once upon us. It was our army that was gone.
And my failures made it happen, my inadequacies and incompetence. I couldn't stop the Red-Feathers from charging down the mountain. I refused to stop even a single shot from their guns... I just uselessly flailed about until I...
"No... Don't..." I want myself as I clutch my lower abdomen. An unsettling series of bumps were briefly felt by my fingers through my clothes before I shot my hand away. A sudden sweat about me as I briefly lost control of my magic. Yet there was someone who wouldn't let me forget my pain.
And I could see him clearly too, along with someone who occasionally came to me for advice. Seigunfrei was a skilled fighter given his circumstances. But he was using his skills for the wrong purpose. As was his new teacher.
That monster... They were all helping him.
"N-Nin..." I uttered with a tremble as a wave of ferocious fear went through me. A wave that raised each hair on my body as I stared down at the blue light his magic made. His raw, tainted power. One that I gave him when I was...
But I shook my head and clutched it tight. I didn't want to think about this... I shouldn't think about it. Yet, I just couldn't help it either. The man I trusted...
He was one of them, he became one of them. I came here trying to honour the legacy he left. The legacy of a brave man who saved even the strong. But he came here, as that, as that horrible creature I had to put down.
I could still see it now as well. The monster I saw on the day we were supposed to leave the aelenvari flower. A bloodthirsty thing with a jaw that made a horrendous snap. The one I had come to care for became the very thing that tormented me.
"But even now... You fight for someone else." I commented as I slowly descended to the air directly above them. Even with my visceral hatred of what Nin had become. I still knew what he did every night. Everyone in the land surely has by now.
He goes every night to free this ancient, proud from a terrible menace. Despite all the slander and hatred going his way, Nin kept on going. A vicious, unrelenting determination that would break him down possibly before he even won. That same kind of determination that saw him escape the hive on his own.
Even if I wouldn't say it or contemplate it for long. It was something I still admired about him. It was when things got bad that I felt like we saw the true him. A man of ceaseless drive that powered him through all so he could...
"Oh, hello, Vapooliar!" Seigunfrei called out once I was a hair's breadth away. And, when he did it, I shook my head and used it as an excuse. I cleared my mind and narrowed in on his mistake.
"Do not distract yourself in battle." I told him just as Nin came rocketing in around his left side. With an expulsion of magic from his elbow driving his hand against Seigunfrei's head. One which soon found itself plunged into the ground which had been stripped clean by their repeated battles.
Yet, as the dust cleared and their magic died down, I saw his visage and then him. And I glanced away uncomfortably as the dark lenses of his mask turned on me. But I could breathe in relief when the dirt beneath him started to crunch. And when I looked back, he was walking away without a care directed at me.
I suppose, if he learned to forget about me, I should try to do the same. But how could I? He saved my life when I was broken down to nothing. He was there to care for me when it all seemed like it had become irreversibly broken...
"Not the first time I'm going to feel that..." Seigunfrei moaned as he pushed himself out of the earth with a bloodied nose.
"Here, let me." I tell him as I apply a quick flick of magic to at least stem the bleeding.
"You didn't have to, hospital isn't far neither is Sticky." he comments as he makes hand gestures on either side of him.
"The Ibeneroccon, I take it?" I ask in regard to what I assume was a nickname.
"Yeah, the greatest witch in all of Suhurlodst at this moment." he breathes in awe as both of our gazes head that way. Towards the man wrapped up in a seemingly simple tunic and set of robes. Lightly coloured like the dust Seigunfrei just fought in.
"Why does he stay here? Isn't he needed elsewhere? He's a soldier, no?"
"He stays because it is his duty."
"But he only teaches you and..."
"He only teaches Nin, really, I basically jumped on for the ride because I promised to help him." he explains.
"R-Right..." I acknowledge with uncertainty as I placed a hand on a wooden fence post. There was once a time I trained Nin, or at least tried to. It made me a little curious in a way. To see how far he has come since then.
But there was no way I could ever check directly. Not when I knew the kind of monster he had become. There was no telling if I would go on to make mistakes again. Like when I joined the Inter-House Talent Display purely to try and kill him.
And I didn't get it, so much of this place wanted it to happen. I was praised again and again for the brutal beating I inflicted upon him. Yet, the only voice I cared about was what Vadei had to say to me. That I was a vile person for doing such a thing to our friend...
Not her friend, our...
I had tried to kill our friend in her eyes, and, if I went by the way I now felt about it. I somehow still saw Nin as mine as well. But, I couldn't see it that way even now. It felt like I was just remembering what he once was and was upset by that instead.
"So, how about you? You want to have a go against Sticky? You'd certainly do better than either of us." Seigunfrei then huffed in bemusement.
"I think I'll pass." I answer as I look down at my hand. Staring briefly at the mark that was branded on my palm before I hid it again.
"The Vapooliar stepping down from a challenge?" he laughed as I felt my body freeze up. I know he wasn't passing comment about it. But, I just couldn't help but... No, it wasn't what he was saying.
"Well, good luck with what you are doing. And make sure to keep focused." I tell him before I fly off. An annoyed scowl then came to my face before I hid it with my hand. Was I a coward? I couldn't have been, right...?
Yet, maybe I was, I knew that my home was under attack. I've known it for so long. But even when the regular soldiers we were with turned back to carry on fighting. I stayed amongst the aelenvari.
Me... The strongest one there, a Valkinvar. I chose to stay and hide. Hide far away from the war and do nothing but keep my head down.
"Why am I hiding when all my sisters and brothers carry on fighting?" I ask myself before I suddenly drop from the sky. Scaring and spooking those who were around me. But I did not linger on it and instead just walked through the grounds of the Academy. However, when I realised where I had wandered to, it was too late.
This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.
And I was left staring straight at a dormitory building I had once arrived at with foul intentions. That broken promise still lingered in my mind. The fear on their faces. I still remembered it all well, but, I was not here for that.
"You are no longer here..." I muttered as I quickly remembered a sadder fact of life. Vadei had left the academy and had departed with that Eusorochiian friend of hers. And in all the time that I had known her. I had never learned where her home was.
But as long as she was safe, I supposed that was all that mattered. Yet, now once again aware of her departure, painfully so. I walked back the way I came. A disappointed sensation welled up inside of me as my usual posture cracked.
I didn't know what to do, and I had no one I could just talk to about it. No one but Nin and Vadei and Dandel'lhia understood what it was like for me. But two of them were gone, and one of them had turned his back on me. With no shortage of good reasons to back it up.
I was lost and I couldn't keep my mind occupied in the slightest. I had no purpose anymore. Just reminders of where I had failed in my life. A sullied bride for the God of War when I died. A friend who tried to kill her saviours.
What was I supposed to do? There was nothing for me here anymore. I had nothing to learn, there was nothing this place had... And I just couldn't muster myself to take on the jobs the Academy helped relay.
It felt so hollow, doing all of this for money. I once fought men by the thousands in the name of a greater cause. I saved people and their livelihoods in the name of my country and future husband. All we ever talked about was our duty and responsibility to a greater cause...
I couldn't do it on my own, I didn't know what I could do. I couldn't just swear my loyalty to another nation or people either. I had already made my oaths long ago, and I stuck to them for nearly as long. Until recently...
I was honestly pathetic. For all my power I was beneath everyone here. And I could see it all about me. They stuck by their friends and their motives.
The reasons were clear as they were plentiful and similar. They all might do it for their families. Some for those living away from the safety of a great mountain state. Others for their homes far beyond the continent.
They went here to benefit someone else. And all I have done with my time here is grow distant. I did not help anyone. I only pushed them away with violent outbursts.
If it wasn't for how embarrassed I would feel doing it. An already odd emotion for me. I'd be breaking down in tears. Because despite how open my current path was, I have never felt more enclosed and trapped.
On one end, a cause I couldn't ever go back to because I had failed to uphold my honour. I had failed to protect my people and my right of passage. There was no place for me besides Waionr when I died and no place here. I didn't know what to do.
"I could help Nin?" I soon asked myself with uncertainty. Even if he was what he was now. I suppose I could try and pay him back for what he did to me. When he threw me out of the hive at the cost of his own safety.
And, at the time, what I could've only seen as his life...
I owed that much to him and maybe even more given how I have treated him. Yet, even as I made the decision to walk to the library. I couldn't help but feel hesitant about doing this. This was still an osibindah I was helping...
A vile, horrible creature. One that deprived me of the most important thing in my life. And even if Nin wasn't the one who did it. I just couldn't feel that way about it.
Fear, anger, and all the possible emotions that came together to unnerve me. That was still there when I saw him. Being near him scared me. I didn't know what to think.
Yet, maybe, I constantly and wrongly chose to be angry at him. I didn't know and probably would never figure it out. Not like this, anyway. But I needed to focus.
Focus and find something that might be able to help him. I won't fight on his behalf, I wasn't ready for that kind of commitment. And knowing that someone stronger had failed before me was quite off-putting. Nin only made it as far as he did as it was abundantly clear he was being mocked.
I don't think I'd be able to teach him anything either. Even if I did master the fear that filled me when he was near. Even the subtle shiver I got whenever he appeared in the newstablets. With something like that affecting me, I could never reliably train him or guide him.
I would be immediately aiming to kill him if I even brought my fists up to spar. So I needed to find something else, and, for my own benefit, something distant. I couldn't handle being near him. Me of all people, the big scary Valkinvar...
"No one is using this table, are they?" I asked the rather large group of students as I walked up to a secluded spot.
"No, it's fine, take it." one eagerly and dismissively told me before they went back to looking at their maps. Which, I found a little odd as the table that was open was much bigger. It was quite cramped on the one they chose. But that just meant more room for me.
So I left something there to serve as a marker before I went about the vast chamber of knowledge. Flying up every now and then before I pulled out something I thought might be helpful. I went for a bit of everything, really. Tactics, history, philosophy and even engineering texts.
Tactics so he could learn to fight better and improve. History so he might be able to exploit this Smiling Jhurack's past somehow. Maybe philosophy would change his mindset about things, like how new officers are a necessity to a good army. And engineering and architectural texts would give him an idea of how to exploit the city itself.
Like how this criminal seemingly does. To have lasted as long as he had in such a thoroughly watched city made it clear. It was quite admirable in its own right. A natural-born guerilla fighter.
"No, see, I am telling you, the army of the Seven-Peaks Union during the thirty-five-hundreds would've utterly trounced the Theocracy in open battle!" a rather passionate voice said.
And it left me confused as well as curious. Because I had been taught quite a lot about that part of our war. And what he was saying was plain wrong, so I could not understand how he came to that conclusion. The Battles of Verchpi and Heiess were great victories for the Theocracy.
But, it wasn't something I should've been concerning myself with. There were greater matters to try and resolve. So I headed back to my table. Briefly flying over the squabbling students, however, as I did so.
It was the same group with all the maps, so maybe I should move? I didn't really want to be distracted by the noise. Yet, at the same time, it was bemusing to me. Which probably made me want to stay a lot more than anything.
My mind has been so wracked recently by emotional turmoil that a more joyous mind might help me right now. So, I did just that, I sat down and I got to work on my budding idea to help Nin. Occasionally listening in to what these students had to say as I went about my business. I wasn't very good at hiding my expressions, though.
So whenever it became apparent that they did not actually know what they were talking about. I smirked or even openly giggled. It also struck me as increasingly bizarre. That they had so much spare time that they could just argue over something like this.
Rather than let history be history, they were belittling each over it. Biased, narrow-minded views of a centuries-long war just to cheer and jeer for either side. Granted, I was happy to hear that there was support for my homeland within this country. Albeit, I wished it was a more active kind of support.
"What, the Valkinvar? Those cultists? Please, they can only go as fast as the speed of sound and you want to tell me they can go up against the finest chapters of war witches? Give me a break!" one of them scoffed as he slammed some kind of notestone onto the table.
"You mean the same Valkinvar which have held the line against your overhyped war witches? Face it, the Valkinvar are the best fighters on the continent."
"Which is why they never went on the offensive." another snorted.
And as I heard that, I lowered my tablet down and I stared at the one who had said that. It was fine up until this point. I may have given up on it... But, the pride I had as one was still somewhat there.
"The Valkinvar never went on the offensive because this is a defensive war. A war meant to maintain our borders and to uphold the place of the true faith against an uprising heresy!" I snap down at him after I marched over and slammed my palm in front of him.
"Our?" he questioned as he looked up.
"Yes, the Theocracy is my home." I tell him with an affirming nod. Proud of the place I have come from and all the history within its valleys and on its peaks.
"Oh, good, we got an insider's knowledge." one of those who were in support of the Theocracy during their bickering commented.
"Alright then, explain why the Valkinvar for all their strength never just pushed back against the Seven-Peaks Union? Why it didn't just advance all the way to the capital and decapitate the empire?" I was aggressively asked as if it were an envelopment of some kind.
"Those heretics declared war on us, calling us an affront to the so-called unity of the Jhermonikra! They besieged and razed our cities in the name of a foul god imprisoned beyond the sky for their betrayal! The war is fought to defend our homes from an invader! There is no counter-attacking beyond what is needed to push them away from our cities." I tell him as I gather up their notes.
Slamming my finger down on each battle which I could recall which involved us gaining some ground. No matter how bloody the pushes might've been, the intent was clear once you had even the slightest bit of insight. Ours was a war of restraint against a malicious foe. And these pumped-up children thought that meant strategic strikes of that scale?
It was an absurd position to have!
"See, as we've been telling you lot. The Theocracy isn't cowering behind its walls because it wants to. You talk about strategy and you don't even recognise it!"
"If there were any great strategists there, they'd have won the war."
"Well, allow me to explain then. We'll even use your own ignorance as the basis. See this map? Yes, this map." I began to chastise as I brought it up and unfurled it for all to see.
"Your point?" he questioned irritably.
"Where do you suppose we'd break through, hm? Along our entire border of tight valleys and sudden drops and colossal mountains? Deathtraps for anyone marching in force against a professional foe! Or maybe you'd prefer our troops to swing around the north of this country!" I finish as I slam the map down. Shaking the immediate area as part of the table likely snapped or began to give way.
But they were quiet and said nothing. Many just scowled at me while a few others gathered around at the increased noise. It was a sign that I should reel it in. But, no, I wasn't willing to just let someone slander my home.
"And why should I trust your word, hm? You, a student?" one mockingly commented at me. The self-awareness completely lacking as his face moved dangerously close to my direction.
"Because I am..." I started to say before I stopped myself. This was not the place to say such things when there was an army of heretics stationed here. But, in their ignorance driven by a self-centred view of things. They just laughed at me dismissively.
"Take your bias elsewhere." one scoffed.
"My bias?" I questioned as a few others seemed to express their disbelief.
"Yeah, your bias. You being a Theocrat makes it clear how you're going to want to twist this."
"Want to twist this? I am speaking of something I have experienced because it is my home that you are cheering on the defeat of!" I almost growl as I jab at his chest.
"Don't touch me!" he nearly squealed as he clearly felt the power behind my jab.
"Then actually learn about something, don't just cling to a narrow-minded understanding because you like the damn dress of one side!" I snort in disgust as I recognise the style of attire he was trying to copy. Though it wasn't with the same materials, it was an attempt at a reconstruction. A reconstruction of a heretics uniform...
"I have learned, and that education has opened my eyes to how you backwards savages are leaving us exposed to the Grand-Kingdom and its empire!"
"The Grand-Kingdom has no interests in our lands." I let out, baffled by this sudden shift. Was he accusing my people of being in allegiance with a foreign power? One with a universally despised history?
"Yes they do, they always have, it's why they drowned our ancestors thousands of years ago!"
"And in the time since then they have not rolled up through the water-veins to invade us, have they?" one of the students nearly laughs out as they roll their eyes.
"Look, all I am saying is don't insult my homeland in such petty squabbles." I tell them with a sigh as I cross my arms. This was getting out of hand and I really needed to get back to helping Nin.
"The lot of you shut up, something important just came through on the news!" someone further back in the library called out as magic screens suddenly came up everywhere. What came up seemed to be a team of some kind, but I wasn't sure of what. I didn't even recognise the view.
"This just in, we have received leaked news that airships of the Seven-Peaks Union have broken through the Seventh Line. We are unsure of what, but even from our allowed set-up at the formerly named Peak of Undwote we can see the smoke and fire rising from the city of Muerteid as the air, once filled with crack of guns falls silent!" they claimed as some kind of device zoomed into the distant firestorm.
"No..." I let out as a cold sweat started to cover me. If the Seventh Line had been broken through, that meant that the path to Thurn's Forge was completely open... Everything we had needed to be called in to plug the gap or the city was lost. My home, it would burn just like the rest of our faith.
"Talk about bad timing..."
"Just be glad she's here and not there." one commented before I looked at them. Scaring them with the firmness of my gaze as magic began to pour from me into my surroundings. She was right, I was just here. My home was in danger and I was just here...
I was still hiding out in this city that held nothing for me!
"H-H-HEY!" someone shouted as my aura grew in ferocity. Almost as if it were the fires we could see on that screen.
"STUDENT VAPOOLIAR, CONTROL YOURSELF!" a teacher yelled as he came rushing as the whole building started to shake and tremble.
"Student...?" I questioned slowly as I made a sharp about to face her. And even she backed away as more of my power came out. As fists were made of my open hands.
"DO SOMETHING!" someone else screamed as my power threw about the contents of the library.
"No... I... Am... VALKINVAR!" I built up to before I roared as a sharp whistle filled the air. In but a moment, an entire wall was brought and a sharp swoosh went towards the ground. I had called upon my sword and I returned my gaze on my home.
A stern glare on my face as I knelt down against the crushed wood and stone. Then, with a sudden explosion of strength and power, I shot up into the air. Shooting away from the city with all I had with my sword at my side. Even the air buckled and broke about me.
Never before had such force gathered in my body. Such strength of will and the conviction to see it through. I would no longer waste my time here in Suhurlodst. There was nothing for me here.
My mind has tried to remind me for so long and my dismissal has cost me dearly. I could fight with pride and courage like the rest of my sisters and brothers! I was a Valkinvar! A sister of the Ordoar-Imdvarace!
I would and I will fight!