Warning: Very traumatizing for too many possible triggers to list.

The blackness of the void releases me, from the faces and screams of my family that I never got to see. Did they die instantly in the center of the blast or die slowly like I would, here in the hell of my own mind? I remember the bad men, hurting my friend, the one that wanted to take me in, a chance at maybe a better life, better than the one I was most likely going to lead from now, but for how long? I can only hope they kill me quickly…

I feel a prick against the front of my body, my eyes open to pure whiteness, bright into my face, “Oh you're awake!” A voice comes from the side as darkness overcomes me. A large smile, followed by hollow greed filled eyes, not the eyes of someone who is going to take care of me, despite their doctor's outfit that I had come to recognize with hope and safety. They wear it like a skin suit.

I struggle hopelessly feeling the grip against my limbs. Bending my head up, I see the hospital gown open at the chest and the brown straps holding me down. The doctor moves back, bends over my limbs and pulls at each binding while smiling at me, showing me that I'm not going anywhere. The back of my mind is screaming but I feel hollow, empty, like I don't actually exist, disoriented.

I can feel every time the doctor picks a crystal from my chest I feel every single pull, I can feel the pain but not the rest of me, like they injected me with something that’s specifically for torture… for me specifically or maybe that’s all they had… I’d read stories online, ones that I’d read with Nat when I went over to Her’s. Her mum worked while we played around on the laptop, exploring the internet, finding the scariest stories to freak each other out with.

This wasn't a story, but I really wish it was, Nat is dead, and surely, I'm close behind, maybe I will get to see her and my parents again? Would I deserve to see them? I could only watch as the nice doctor died, as I watched the life drain from her eyes.

I'm the only one left, it would be better if I could die soon… but I have a feeling, fueled by the smile of the doctor, that I'm not going die easily. I can only brace myself for what's to come.

“Now child” They speak to me directly this time, in English. I try to open my mouth, but I can't make real noises, just mumbles as my tongue refuses to work. “Shhhhh shh… it's okay, I am doctor Muta, we will be best of friends as you help me with my research, yes? You have something miraculous in your skin, you are basically gold mine ha-ha” He grabs his belly and laughs at his own jokes as I strain vainly against my binds, tears slowly dripping out of my eyes. They look at it and quickly pull out a voice recorder, “Note. We need to try tears as a component” They look back at me and smile approaching the cocktail mix of bags I notice are going through the line in my wrist. “These are going to make you feel better for the next… uhm while. The next time you wake up it is going to be a little bit more uncomfortable, but! you will get used to it!” I feel my brain go fuzzy as they start turning dials on the machine behind me, the last thing I see is the smile as I sink back into my nightmares.

…

Natalie stares at me lovingly on the hill, we wake up together into the darkness embracing. We kiss gently, not something we had done before, blushing in the dark, watching the never-ending blue aurora of the sky, constant perfect streaks of metals falling from the sky, always on the horizon, never coming closer, we are in our perfect space, no one can touch us here.

“I can't save you from the bullies this time Lilia, I'm just a thing made complete, you should just give in and become one with it” Blue crystals start pushing through her skin as she smiles, the same smile.

I wake up panting, I can’t breathe, there's a mask covering my mouth. The doctor is looming over me like the last time I woke up, the same horrifying smile plastered on their face. I only now notice that they have a small wound on their lip, like it’s been stitched up, “Welcome back Young one, we have made some uhhhah adjustments to your body, don't worry we have not disturbed the lovely farm on your body, we just had to make sure you got proper nutrients, a uhh feeding tube” They seem to revel in their knowledge, telling me exactly what they have done to me, he touches my body and I feel something pull against the upper part of my stomach, he calls it a G-tube, for long term feeding… I know now that I'm going to be here for a long... long time.

If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

Classical music drowns out my silent tears, all I can do is feel my body there, absorbing the music, feeling defenseless, useless, my body a weakened mush of humanity.

“We are going to start on something more exciting soon!” He’s only been extracting some of the crystals so far, “Not to worry it's all routine! haha” I would get to watch the whole thing, he would make sure I was awake to feel everything, to experience the ultimate expression of science and humanity. His excitement as he stood over what I felt was my already rotting corpse, the absolute joy he exudes.

The soldiers have started delivering him fluids, in all sorts of bags, all of them different colors and shapes. The soldiers stare at me like another cold body that they have to drag around, they have different stars on their uniforms, ranks or something maybe. The doctor and soldiers talk to each other quietly, I hear a few words but can't make heads or tails of it, “Bodies… Basement… Fresh Supply…”

The soldiers eventually walk out after bringing in the liquids and the doctor turns to me, “Now Young one, we are going to play a game! We are going to see what kinds of liquids do things to the crystals growing on top of your skin! Isn't that fun!” No, it's really really not…

The most I can do is beg with my eyes, the doctor hits a remote and some piano music starts up, it’s something I'm familiar with, my father enjoyed some what he called ‘mainstream classical’, it's Moonlight sonata. It flows over me, makes me think about all the small things that I'll never be able to have again, a home, a family, a life! I hear a ripping of one of the bags and the doctor starts dribbling it over me, they pause and check for a reaction.

Hour’s pass, every so often the music changes, the feel of the liquid changes, accompanied by the sharp pulling out of another shard. Repeat, endless words of excitement and disappointment being funneled into a voice recorder.

After hours the doctor stops and pulls a clear bag full of thick red liquid from a cooler, they rip open the top and it spills a little, they only laugh at their clumsiness, life dripping on the floor, it's not like there's any ‘janitors’, not that I’ve seen at least, hes got to clean it all up himself.

The thick liquid slaps dutifully across my chest, missing the G-tube that goes up my chest, it splatters and slops, slithers across my skin. The doctor and I wait, and wait, expectant, me in fear and him in jubilation.

Nothing happens, I can only sigh closing my eyes, the doctor instead of being disappointed starts yelling excitedly in the recorder, he walks out still talking, leaving it on my skin, to drip and harden, creating a shell of gooey things, a almost skin like hardness on the outside, I can only beg for them to come back. I fall asleep moaning for someone, anyone to save me.

Drip… Drip Drip… Drip… Drip… I try to open my eyes, have they plucked out my eyes!?!? My mouth still not working I can only try to flail in my restraints, “Supid child! Stop moving! You're getting it everywhere!” I stop struggling, feeling my eyes flickering against the material wrapped around my skull… they haven't taken my eyes, I can still feel them, just like I can feel liquid on my stomach, I knew instantly what it is, making me want to vomit, I feel the slickness of it, drip, not gooey like I slept through, I can smell it, hot against my body.

They are excited, more excited than I've ever heard them, another classical song that I've heard comes on the player and they yell along with it. I hear the shuffling of their feet as if they are dancing in jubilation at what they are seeing, and then I feel it, its growing, the crystals are growing, tiny pricks stabbing into my skin, not painful but unpleasant. Drip… Drip…

I feel a rough hand pull at my blindfold, “See child all that you are doing! You will make the world a much ahaha better place!” My blinds finally come off, please put them back on, please please please please please dripdripdrip please plaeassspleassspleasssspllsssssnonono… I don’t see the crystals, I don't see the doctor, I don't see the white walls, I don't see the red on my chest, I don't see anything. Except the eyes staring down at me. DRIP

A reflection of my state of decay, while I slept a sleep meant for the dead, the doctor had done something, that they considered genius as they proudly tell me later. A man, a man full of scars, a man with only the life in them to stare at me, the one that they are ‘donating’ their blood too, it drips again and again AND AGAIN from a small tube coming out of their neck, a valve on the end controlling the blood flow, they have no feeding tube, they will die watching me live, I will live watching them die.

I try to scream, I try to struggle, I am helpless, I am nothing, I can only stop existing. I fade back into the void.