Chapter Three Hundred and Four - Royal Expositioner

I couldn’t help but grin from ear-to-ear as Amaryllis pulled me into a hug of her own volition. “You moron,” she muttered into my hair before letting me go. She pulled Awen into a hug too, but didn’t have any insults for her. “Thanks for keeping Broccoli safe.”

“Hey!” I protested. “I can keep myself safe.”

“Yes yes, I’m sure,” Amaryllis dismissed.

We were making something of a scene. An entire heap of nobles and dignitaries were congregating around, most looking like they didn’t know what to do. Which was fair. I imagined that the plans for the summit had been upended pretty hard.

Caprica slid out from the crowd and walked over. “Captain Broccoli, Lady Bristlecone, you’re back,” she said. “Do you have any idea what happened?”

I nodded. “Yeah, we were involved with the mess. Not making it, but, uh, we were there.”

“And what did happen?” Caprica asked. “I saw Bastion running off against the orders of Inquisitor Storm. Then the guards were thrown into a frenzy.”

“I saw someone suspicious, so I followed him down to the basement with Awen,” I said. “Then it turned out to be a shapeshifted Rainnewt, and the basement was filled with time bombs.”

Caprica blinked, then glanced over to the old palace. “What happened after that?” Caprica asked.

“Well, we fought. Awen disarmed some bombs, Bastion showed up. Uh, I might have set off one bomb, and then we captured Rainnewt.” I looked to Awen. “Am I missing any parts?”

“I think you’re missing a few little details,” Awen said.

Caprica glanced over at Amaryllis. “Is this normal? I read Bastion’s reports, but I didn’t expect to see your group at work.”

“Our group?” Amaryllis asked. She flinched back. “Please don’t group me in with these two. I’m perfectly sane.”

“I never questioned your sanity aloud,” Caprica said.

“Aloud?” Amaryllis repeated.

Caprica cleared her throat. “I think your group might have the best firsthand information here. Come on, follow me. I think Father will want to hear all of this--he’s with the delegates from Deepmarsh and the Trenten Flats. They might want to know what happened as well. This debacle is tarnishing Sylphfree’s promise of safety.”

“No one was hurt, right?” I asked. “I think that should matter a lot.”

“No one was hurt, but they could have been,” Caprica said. “It’s an important distinction to some more politically-inclined people.”

Caprica led us through a small crowd of sylph nobles. Everyone was mostly gathered on the lawns across the street from the Old Palace. A few local shops had opened their doors and were serving drinks and food, and I suspected that the staff were working overtime to keep everyone happy.

Meanwhile, carriages were racing down the cobbled streets with teams of guards on their backs. A cordon was forming on either end of the road, and I suspected that they were there to keep people out as much as to keep people in.

The king was sitting in a pavilion tent someone had set up in record time halfway on the sidewalk and on the road. I counted six paladins encircling the tent, and more of them were within, with hands on the hilts of their swords and their eyes peeled for any threats.

Caprica paused before the tent and spoke to one of the paladins in hushed tones. That gave me some time to peek over her head and into the tent.

I didn’t recognize the cervid delegates from the Trenten Flats, but the grenoil were more familiar. Sylive Robespierre was there, with her secretary friend and a couple of other grenoil representatives. No harpy though, though. No humans or buns, for that matter, not until we walked in.

The king glanced up briefly while talking with a sylph, spotted Caprica, then smiled at her. She nodded back, then made a quick gesture with her hand. I didn’t quite see it all, being behind her, but I had the impression it was asking for permission for something. Their own little sign language? That was neat!

The king frowned for a moment, leaned to the side to say something to his buddy, then waved us over.

There were even more paladins inside the tent than outside, a ring of them around the edges, barely noticeable because of how little they moved. One standing close to the king wasn’t as subtle though. Inquisitor Storm. The same paladin I’d met way back in Fort Sylphrot, the day I met Bastion.

“Hello Caprica,” the king said. “I see all of your friends made it out alright. Did you have anything to share? News, perhaps?”

The nobles around the king backed up a bit, all except for Inquisitor Storm, who eyed us all very carefully.

“News and more,” Caprica said. “Captain Bunch and Lady Bristlecone here were the ones who discovered the plot to destroy the Old Palace. They also fought and apprehended the culprit. I believe with the aid of Paladin Bastion?”

I nodded. “Yup! Though there were a bunch of guards too.”

The King leaned forwards. “Really now? Captain Bunch, Lady Bristlecone, would you mind sharing the story with the rest of us?”

“Your highness, are you certain you want to interrogate them publicly?” Inquisitor Storm asked in a low whisper.

The king nodded. “I think I have a good measure of their character. They’re good kids.”

I blinked, then realised that they didn't seem to be speaking the usual sylph language. That was a clever trick, though I imagined that a lot of diplomats probably had skills that would help them understand. “We didn’t do anything bad, I swear,” I muttered in the same language.

The king grinned. “See,” he said. “Captain, Lady, please, tell us what happened.”

I glanced to Awen, but she shook her head quickly. “You speak, you’re better at it,” she said.

Well, that made sense. Awen was a bit shy and there were a lot of eyes on us. I think the people gathered here really wanted to know what had happened. Either because it would be great gossip, or because they were curious busybodies.

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So I told them.

I started from the top. How I’d seen someone suspicious, then followed them down to the basement with Awen. Then finding the bombs, learning that the suspicious person was Rainnewt, arguing with him, running after him while Awen did her thing, and finally confronting Rainnewt in the old city under the mountain.

“And then Awen gave me a bomb, and I tossed it on Rainnewt and a little bit on Bastion--” Caprica gasped at that. “And that knocked him around really good. Bastion bapped me on the head after that, for kinda blowing him up, and then we captured Rainnewt, and that’s the entire thing.”

The king turned towards Inquisitor Storm. “Do you think you can confirm the story?” he asked.

“I can try,” she said. “I will have to ask Paladin Bastion, and perhaps some of the early investigators. This may take a few minutes.”

I waved at her as she ran off in a hurry after bowing to the king. There were a lot of murmurs in the tent, but then, there had been murmurs from the start of my story.

“Caprica, my dear,” the king said. “You know the captain and these two ladies better than I do. Perhaps you could help me a little. What are your opinions on their characters?”

Caprica glanced at us, then back to her dad. “They’re insane. All three of them,” she said without hesitation.

“Pardon me?” Amaryllis squawked.

“But,” Caprica continued. “They genuinely do mean well. And I think we only see them as insane because all three of them refuse to believe in the sorts of common sense that lead to things like bomb threats and potential wars. They really do think that the three of them, on their own, can make Dirt a better place for everyone. It’s mad, impossible, and somewhat inspiring.”

The king chuckled. “Well, perhaps they’re not entirely wrong. I believe Lady Albatross intended to speak on behalf of the harpy today. I imagine you were going to petition in the name of your nation to pull back from the brink of hostility?”

“What? No, that would be dumb,” Amaryllis said. “Any half-bit politician can crow about what they want for their country. I’m here to tell you all that this war is stupid, and if you participate in it, you’re stupid too.”

The whispers from before turned into indigent mutters.

“Oh, don’t mumble at me,” Amaryllis grumped. “Half of you were champing at the bit to start a war entirely orchestrated by a single madman. Do you have any idea how many lives would be lost because of your lack of forethought? Don’t you realise how close you came to dying just in the last hour just because of this war? If it wasn’t for Broccoli and Awen you’d all be buried in rubble right now.” She sniffed disdainfully. “Idiots.”

I patted Amaryllis on the shoulder to calm her down a little. It seemed that not everyone took to being called an idiot by Amaryllis as well as I did.

The king clapped his hands together. “Very well then,” he said. “As far as I can tell, it seems as though two of these young women, at least, saved all of our lives. I think, as the host for today’s event, the matter of reward falls upon my shoulders.”

I saw Caprica nodding slowly. It seemed like a good move on the king’s part. I imagined that maybe there was some honour-stuff at play here, and the king was shouldering the responsibility for that instead of leaving it to each individual. At least, that’s how I thought it would work out with the sylph. The others I wasn’t as certain of.

He regarded me and Awen in turn. "How about this," he said to us, "I will grant each of you a boon of your choosing. If it is within my ability to grant, then it shall be so.”

“Father!” Caprica gasped. Judging from the reaction of the other sylph in the room, and the heightened attention of the cervid and grenoil, the boon was a pretty big deal.

“Uh, that sounds nice,” I said.

“I would hope so,” the king said. “Sylphfree is undoubtedly one of the most powerful nations on Dirt. And a boon on my behalf shouldn’t be taken lightly. Do you want some time to think on it? It would allow Inquisitor Storm time to return.”

“Nah, that’s fine,” I said with a nod. “This one’s easy. Can I ask that Sylphfree not get involved in this war-business?”

The king laughed. “You can ask that. Though if the war comes to our doorstep, you understand that we won’t fail to react.”

I nodded. That was reasonable. “Deal then!” I said while extending my hand. The king grinned and shook. I had the impression that was a faux-pas too, judging by the looks I was getting, but if the king wasn’t insulted, then what did it matter?

“And what about you, Lady Bristlecone, any favours you would like to ask?”

“Awa,” Awen said. “I don’t know what I’d even ask for. Can I wait?”

“Of course,” the king said gently.

Inquisitor Storm walked into the room like her namesake, followed by Bastion and two guards who paused by the entrance. She bowed next to the king and whispered into his ear for a moment.

“Well then,” the king said. “I think that today has been very exciting, but, seeing as how the summit will have to be put off for some hours, I believe that the wisest course of action would be to pause everything for the day and continue on in the morning. I thank you all very much for coming, and especially for keeping your calm. It’s good to see the continent’s nobility act in such a self-assured fashion.”

The king gestured and soon enough a few nobles departed the tent. Others milled around though, and I had the impression they all wanted to chat some more.

“Caprica,” the king said. “Do invite your friends over for dinner tonight. I’m certain we have a lot to discuss.”

***