Chapter One Hundred and Fifty-Two - Peace Through Overwhelming Friendpower

Evalyn led us out of the washrooms with a sweep of her long robes and a flutter of her wings. “This way,” she said. “I’m certain that some of my comrades at least will be welcoming, more so than some harpies, I’m sure.”

“That sounds nice,” I said as I skipped along. “So, what’s it like having wings?” I asked.

She glanced over her shoulder at me, then down to her wings. “I never gave it too much thought. We’re born with them, you see. Most of us are flying about before we’re even a year old.”

“I guess you wouldn’t really think about it, then,” I said. “I hope that my next class evolution gives me wings. It would be super neat.”

Evalyn made her laughing noise and nodded. “I’m certain that you’d enjoy the freedom of flight. It’s one of the greatest things about being a Sylph. We rule the airs, and have for a very long time.”

I was pretty sure someone like Amaryllis would have something to say about that.

She brought us up a floor onto the topmost balcony, then moved towards a shadowy corner that was even darker than that table where I'd gotten my food. At this point you probably would stumble into a chair. It was also behind a few awkwardly placed pillars. “Do sylphs have good night vision?” I asked.

“No more than humans or buns,” Evalyn said.

“Then why are your tables all in the dark?”

“Petty harpy politics?” Evalyn wondered aloud. “Or maybe they just want to keep us out of sight and mind as they bask in their own glory?” She didn’t sound all that happy there.

“Well, that’s just rude,” I said.

She nodded. “I won’t disagree.”

The tables in the back all had a few sylph sitting or standing around them. There seemed to be an order to them. The more decorations they had on their chest, the more likely it was that they were sitting down with a few less-decorated sylph standing behind them.

Those who weren’t in uniform likewise had those standing behind them, but the difference there was made more obvious by the appearance of their dress. The prettier the outfit, the higher the station, I guessed.

“Do the sylph have a, uh, caste system?” I asked.

“Hm? No. We pride ourselves on being a meritocracy. Though I’ll admit that even with actions taken to subdue nepotism, it’s still something that appears quite frequently,” Evalyn said. “I wasn’t born a countess. My father was merely a soldier at the start of his career, and I began as a lesser diplomat a... rather long time ago, let’s say.”

“Neat,” I said.

“Come, we can skip the business people. As useful as they might be, they’ll only bore you with numbers.” We crossed the first few rows of sylphs and headed towards the middle tables. They were occupied by some of the best dressed and most medal-festooned sylphs around.

There were three groups occupying the centremost table. A male sylph in a well-tailored suit with two guards behind him, a woman in black plate armour over what I suspected was leather (who also had a pair of equally-armoured sylph behind her), and a sylph that looked like he was dressed like a military dictator out of a satire. That last one had to be a noble.

“You’re back, Lady Sunshrike,” the noble in the bunch asked.

“Lord Winterfall,” she replied with a gracious nod. “I am. And I found some interesting companions while I was away. It seems as if our kind hosts might have extended them the same courtesy they gave us.”

“Ah,” I said. “It wasn’t that bad. Just a bit of a slip-up with some wine,” I said before grinning to the table. “Hi!”

“Awa, hello,” Awen said before she dipped into a curtsy.

“Always saving innocents, huh Evalyn?” the military guy said.

“I wouldn’t call this saving innocents,” Evalyn said. “More like making interesting new friends. Captain Bunch here, and her companion Miss Bristlecone, are both taking their airship to visit our fine nation soon.”

“Oh?” the military man asked. “Now that’ll be interesting.” He turned towards us fully and I had the impression he was eyeing me up and down. “Are you part of the diplomatic mission?” he asked.

“Not quite,” I said. “We just figured that mission wouldn’t work out so we might as well try to stop any war ourselves.”

The man blinked twice, then roared with laughter. “How proactive! I love it. I’m Commodore Autumngale. I’m in charge of making sure all these fine diplomats make it out of this harpy-infested hillside and back home in one piece.”

“Neat!” I said. “That sounds like a great job. Also, your rank sounds cool.”

“Why thank you,” he said. “I have the impression that you have no idea what it means.”

“Not even the slightest clue,” I said with a bright smile.

He laughed some more at that, then turned to the armoured lady next to him. “She’s an interesting one, isn’t she Storm?”

“She is,” the woman said. Her voice was a croaking whisper, like she was forcing the words out. I glanced her way and took in the scars running across her throat for just a moment before snapping my attention away. I didn’t want to make her feel bad by staring. “How do you intend to make it to Sylphfree, Captain Bunch?” she asked.

“By flying?” I asked.

She smiled a little as she shook her head. “Getting there is, perhaps, easy. Making it past the patrols without the proper forms and registrations, on the other hand, might prove a little complicated.”

“I guess just showing up to the port and saying that we’re there to stop a war from maybe happening isn’t going to work?”

Storm sighed. “I’m afraid not. There is already much debate over whether there is even a hint of warmongering in the future, though the cervid are always rearing for it. We’ve grown used to peace, and I think we would all rather keep things as they are.”

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“So I’d need some sort of permit to land?” I asked. I was willing to bet that Clementine had already figured that one out. “Where can I get one?”

The Storm woman tapped her chin, then looked over her shoulder to the younger of the two armoured sylphs standing there. “Bastion, you mentioned having to return to Sylphfree a little bit sooner than the main expedition?”

The sylph, Bastion, stood taller, his armour clunking a bit with the motion. He was a pretty tall sylph, which meant that he came up to my nose when standing ramrod straight, and his armour, all black and rather on the spiky side, was shiny and new looking. Either it really was new, or he took a lot of care with it. “Yes, Inquisitor Storm,” he said. “I was charged to bring back some important parcels to the homeland.”

“Well there you go,” Storm said. “Captain Bunch, were you planning on leaving earlier than the main expedition?”

“Uh,” I said. “Not really, but the Beaver’s pretty much ready except for a few things. He’s getting retrofitted right now. Awen?”

“Awa... I think we could leave soon enough, yes,” she said.

“Would it be possible for you to rent a room to a couple inquisitors?” Storm asked.

I looked over to Awen who shrugged at me. I figured that meant the decision was mine. “Uh, we do have some extra rooms on the Beaver. Do sylphs have a special diet or anything? Or can we just bring whatever food we would bring normally?”

Evalyn made her laughing noise again. “We’ll eat anything a human will,” she said. “Or most of us will; there’s no accounting for taste.”

“I assure you, Captain Bunch,” Bastion said as he stepped around the table. “That I am not a picky eater. And I can assist your crew if I happen to be taking someone else’s berth.”

“Well, in that case, I guess you’re welcome aboard,” I said. I grinned at the whole table. I didn’t doubt that they had their own ulterior motives, but that was okay. If I could help them while they helped me a little, then that was totally alright. It was a great way to start a friendship.

“I look forward to flying with you,” Bastion said as he extended a hand to me.

I took his hand and shook. “Me too--” I began.

Bastion’s eyes went wide and his genial, polite look faded into shock for a moment before he tore his hand back, reached for his belt, and pulled out a knife.

I was caught entirely flat-footed as the sylph stepped up into my guard and placed the edge of the knife against my throat in a motion so smooth and fast it looked straight out of a movie.

“What?” I asked. The word alone was enough to make the cold steel tickly my throat.

“Who are you?” Bastion asked.

By then, Storm and Commodore Autumngale were on their feet. “Bastion!” Storm rasped. “Explain.”

“She... this woman has committed more crimes than the worst scoundrel I have ever met,” he said. “Her record is as black as pitch.”

“Please back away from Broccoli,” Awen asked. She looked like she was torn between staring at Bastion and his knife and looking for one of her own on the tables around us.

We were gathering a fair bit of attention from them. “Um, Mister Bastion,” I said. “I don’t know what you’re talking about?”

Evalyn slowly, carefully, brought her arm up between us and placed it on Bastion’s hand. “Sir Bastion,” she said. “Miss Bunch isn’t of or in our nation. I’m afraid that she isn’t beholden to our laws.”

Bastion’s face contorted. “I understand, Lady Sunshrike, but her crimes... they, they’re awful.”

“Uh,” I said. “Can anyone explain?”

Lord Winterfell shifted in his seat. He, of all those at or around the table, looked the least uncomfortable. “I think I can enlighten you, captain. It’s rather simple: The Royal Order of Paladins of the World has a rather unique ability to tell, by touch, whether a person is guilty of a crime. Not the exact crime, mind you, but the level of... I suppose criminality they have committed. It is one of the ways we keep things nice and tidy back home.”

“But, but I haven’t done anything wrong,” I said. “At least, I don’t think.”

“The interpretation of what is or isn’t a crime is based on the paladin’s understanding of the laws. Most are quite well educated and could recite entire law books from rote,” he said.

“Um,” Awen said. “Maybe Broccoli did something that’s okay here but not in Sylphfree?” she asked.

“Oh, like that time I kidnapped you?”

Now I was getting looks again.

“Captain Bunch,” Inquisitor Storm asked. “Would you mind if I touched you? I’m certain that Sir Bastion’s interpretation of the law is accurate, but perhaps I can lend a bit more nuance to the situation.”

“Sure?” I said as I extended a hand towards the woman.

The sylph, who as it turns out was probably the smallest member of the race I’d yet seen, took my hand in hers and frowned off into the air. She hissed between her teeth and locked gazes with me. “You... don’t make sense.”

“Uh.”

“Your criminality is... impossibly high. It’s as if you went around breaking dungeon cores while on dragon-back. But your morality score is exceptionally high as well. On the latter alone you would be considered a paragon of good citizenship.”

I shrugged. “Okay? I can probably explain most of the, uh, laws I broke? Maybe?”

“Yes,” she said. “Yes, I think we’d all really appreciate an explanation.”

Then, because the world clearly had it in for me, that was when the Albatross sisters arrived.

***