Chapter Four Hundred and Ninety-Five - Love is Being Stupid

I really wasn't sure what to do. Our mission was to save Mister Aberrforth, but that mostly hinged on him being in the sort of trouble that someone needed saving from. There were a lot of scenarios we'd considered on the walk over. Maybe we'd discover that he was just too busy to report in, maybe he was injured and couldn't move, maybe he was stuck?

But none of us had considered that Mister Aberrforth might just be madly in love. With a very heavy emphasis on the madly part. This behaviour didn't seem... sane, exactly.

"Any ideas?" I asked Awen.

She shrugged. "We can conk him on the head and drag him back? Uncle said that he had to do that to some friends a few times, and he said that he was conked on the head a whole lot too."

That might explain some things about Abraham, but I wasn't sure if giving poor Mister Aberrforth a concussion was a good idea. "We could drag him back," I said.

"Ladies," he interjected. "I don't mean to disparage either of you or your efforts, but I'm afraid that I have a tier up on both of you and quite a bit of physical strength besides. You won't be moving me so easily."

"Dang," I said. "But we have a mission to save you, sir."

"Ah, there's no saving me, ladies. My heart was stolen already."

"In a metaphorical way?" I asked, just to be sure. I was very certain that we were dealing with some sort of magic user here, and there was always the risk that his heart really had been stolen. I stared at this doublet. No signs of blood or anything... then again, I had just blasted him with Cleaning magic, so I might have removed any signs of surgery.

Sir Aberrforth sighed. "In the purely metaphorical sense, yes," he replied, smiling wistfully. "Laine has captured my heart, and I intend to prove myself to her, no matter how many tests she puts me through."

Awen frowned. "But what if she's just... you know, taking advantage of you? This seems a bit extreme, even for a test of love."

"I appreciate your concern," he said, his voice kind but firm. "But I assure you, I know what I'm doing. Laine is worth every challenge, every hardship. She's... unique."

I traded another look with Awen. What were we supposed to do? We couldn't drag him back, and we couldn't just go back to the guild and report that the Explorer we were sent to rescue was unrescuable on account of suddenly falling in love. Well... I could, but I didn't think Mathilde would be happy with that explanation.

"Can we at least talk to her?" I asked. "Maybe we can, uh, negotiate or something? We should at least make sure that you're not being mistreated." Tying someone to a pole wasn't a healthy way to love them.

Sir Aberrforth seemed to consider this, then nodded slowly. "I suppose it wouldn't hurt to try. Laine is... stubborn, but she's also reasonable. If she sees you're here out of genuine concern, she might listen."

I glanced back to where the others were hidden. "Give me a moment," I said before stepping away to signal them. Two quick bursts of Cleaning magic, indicating a non-hostile but complicated circumstance.

Awen and I approached the cottage, keeping a wary eye on our surroundings. It was strange, being so nervous and wary in such an otherwise peaceful looking place. Well, if I overlooked the man tied to a pole, of course. Oh, and the creepy effigies. It was easy to forget about those.

The door to the stone house opened just as we reached the edge of the garden, and an older woman stepped out. She was tall, with wild, curly white hair and eyes that seemed to pierce right through me. She wore a long, flowing dress adorned with various charms and symbols, and carried a staff that glowed faintly with magic.

From the way she jumped a bit on seeing us, I think we spooked her.

She stared at us for a moment before speaking. "Who are you?" she asked. "How did you get past my security?"

"Your security?" I asked.

"The effigies," she snapped. "They put the fear of the World in any man approaching my home."

I blinked. So that's what they'd been tuned for. "But I'm not a man, I'm Broccoli," I said. "And this is Awen."

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"Hello."

Laine stared for a moment longer, then groaned. "I tuned the effigies and curses to trigger under specific conditions that would exclude myself. Ah, I overlooked some things, it seems. All this nature's making me soft."

"Um, I suppose? I don't think soft is bad? In any case, we're part of the Exploration Guild, we're here because, um, Sir Aberrforth hasn't been in contact and we're a bit worried about him."

Laine's eyes narrowed. "Worried, are you? And you think he needs rescuing?"

I nodded. "Well, kind of. He seems to think he's here because of some sort of test of love?" I gestured to Sir Aberrforth who was grinning like a loon.

"You can take him," she said.

"Oh, thank you," I replied.

"No!" Sir Aberrforth shouted, struggling against his bonds. "I will not leave until I've proven my love to you, Laine. I am committed to this, no matter the cost."

Laine sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Aberrforth, your determination is admirable, but you must understand, this isn't about enduring physical hardship. It's about understanding my world, my way of life."

Sir Aberrforth shook his head. "And I will! Whatever it takes. I love you!"

"Did you know him before he showed up here?" I asked.

Laine shook her head. "No, I didn't know him. He stumbled upon my home while I was tending to my garden. His men were too scared to approach because of the effigies, but Aberrforth, despite the pain, sent them away and came to me. His attempt at conversation was... less than charming, given his condition."

Sir Aberrforth winced. "I admit, I was a bit worse for wear."

Laine crossed her arms, looking at him sternly. "You were a mess. I tied him up to keep him from injuring himself further and to make sure he wasn't a threat. I've been feeding him and tending to his wounds."

I nodded slowly. "So, he's been here under your care, and he's decided that he loves you?"

"Seems so," Laine said, glancing at Aberrforth with a mix of exasperation and maybe something softer. Or maybe it was the sappy romantic in me that was hoping there was something softer.

"Could you let him go, at least?" Awen asked. "He seems pretty determined, and we won't leave without him."

Laine sighed again. "Fine. I'll release him, but you must convince him to leave. I don't need his kind of trouble."

She approached Aberrforth and, with a few deft movements and a quickly cast spell, untied the ropes binding him to the pole. He stood up, rubbing his wrists, and gave her a grateful nod. Then he dropped to one knee. "Thank you, Laine. But my resolve remains unchanged. From the moment I laid eyes upon you, I knew that we were desti--"

Laine cut him off with a not-so-gentle application of her staff to his shin. "Stubborn fool," she said with a roll of her eyes.

"Sir Aberrforth," I said gently, "We have a mission to complete. Can we please take you back with us? And, uh, where are the men that were with you?"

Aberrforth's face softened. "I understand your concern, Broccoli, truly. But my heart is set. Laine, I will prove my worth to you in a way that respects your world and your ways. Just give me a chance."

Laine didn't look as amused now. "You didn't answer the girl-child's question about your men."

"Oh, they're fine," he dismissed. "I was exploring the region for some magical traces of a particularly interesting kind of rock with mana retaining properties, you see. There was once a thriving little community in these woods a long time ago, and they had many tools and weapons imbued with magic that could only... bah, anyway. Laine is more important than any magic, I say!"

"Uh, sure. And your team is?" I asked.

"In a large cave structure to the north west of here," he said.

Laine's hand met her face with a smack. "No," she said.

"No?" I repeated.

"He never told me that part, just that he sent his men away. World damnit, I have better things to do than this!" Laine huffed, spun on a heel, and stomped off towards her home, but she did so with the kind of energy that suggested that she'd be right back, and probably not in a better mood.

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