The night before:

"Aaaanyway, sorry for bringing the mood down. Kinda s—shut…shif…shitty way to end your birthday, ha."

Drunk Niss slurred her way through the apology, struggling not only to get the words out but also to even walk. Thankfully, Barry was there to help. He put her arm around his shoulders and did his best to shuffle them both toward the Pokemon Center. Easy to find, as it was the only building that still had some of the lights on.

"N-no, it's… it's fine," Barry muttered, an uncomfortable look on his face. "I mean… not really my birthday anymore, is it? It's already past midnight."

"O-oh… haha, yeah I guess." Niss laughed unevenly, her whole body shaking against him with every chuckle. "Man… I'm dumb."

But Barry didn't laugh. Couldn't, even if he'd wanted to. He felt like there was a vacuum inside his chest, tightening everything behind his rib-cage, turning it tense and cold. While Niss kept mumbling nonsense and smiling at him, he just… walked, trying to keep the guilt and unease from his expression.

What Niss had just told him… was it really true? Had she really been carrying onto those thoughts all this time?

All because of Shadi and Johanna…

His face scrunched up unconsciously, teeth clenching in anger. He felt a strange itch behind his eyes. The wind around him seemed to have stilled for a moment.

But then he closed his eyes and took a breath. No… this was on him too. Because he hadn't known, hadn't even suspected it all this time, even though they were supposed to know everything about each other. To think Niss had felt this way, had felt like a parasite on her family and he was none the wiser…

What a great best friend I turned out to be…

"Hm? Barry, w-whass…whassup?" asked Niss, tilting her head. "You look kinda scary there…"

He immediately wiped the look off his face and shone her a quick, warm smile. Strangely enough, that part came easy to him. It wasn't just having Niss so close, wasn't just the fact that he was holding onto her. Just, knowing that he hadn't been there before when he should have…

He unconsciously grabbed onto her more strongly, a fierce, overwhelming sense of fear and… something else, something hot and anxious that made his heart start beating faster, came over him in an instant. It was a sudden, powerful feeling which ushered back that odd itchiness behind his eyes. As soon as that came, Niss seemed to relax next to him. An aloof, lopsided smile formed on her lips.

"It's… it's okay," he whispered, trying to imbue as much confidence into his voice as he could. "Look, the Pokemon Center is right there. Let's get you to your room, okay?"

"HMmmmmkay…"

Unfortunately, that turned out to be easier said than done. As soon as they entered the building, a difficult problem presented itself to them. The stairs.

"Ugh… c-come on I can do this," Niss muttered angrily. "Piece of shit stairs…"

Even with Barry helping to guide her, Niss kept barely missing the steps every time, and would have tripped face-first into the stairs if it weren't for him holding on to her arm. After a whole minute of that, less… orthodox measures needed to be considered. Well, technically Barry had thought of it almost instantly, but it took a bit until he gathered the courage to suggest it.

And oddly enough, Niss had no problem with it.

"O-oh… well, here, lemme…"

Thank goodness for the dim lighting of the building; it did a wonderful job of hiding the clear blush on Barry's face as he carried Niss upstairs bridal style. Since their rooms were on the second floor the trip was short, but to him it felt like an eternity. Niss' arms around him, her face pressed gently against his shoulder, the feeling of her breathing against him, so close he could barely distinguish it from his own…

N-no, come on. Stop that.

He shook his head as they reached the second floor. However, Niss didn't say anything or tell him to drop her so… well, it seemed weird to bring it up, so he kept carrying her until they reached her room. He practically kicked the door open, and couldn't quite reach the light switch so he just left the room dark as he carried Niss to her bed.

"Mmmmm comfy…" Niss let out a tired yawn as she sat on the bed alongside him. "Thanks… sorry you had to carry me here…"

Barry gulped, his shoulder tightening at the feeling of Niss' head resting on it. She let out another big yawn, practically falling asleep against him. He knew he should've said something like 'Well, guess I should go back to my room, let you get some sleep!' but the words felt like they didn't want to come out. Like he didn't want them to come out.

Niss blinked a few times sleepily and rubbed her cheek against his shoulder, one of her hands grabbing onto Barry's. His heart jumped.

"HmmmBarry?"

"Y-yeah?"

Her other arm came around his, pulling him closer. He felt her breathing almost against his neck and shivered.

"Thanks…"

He frowned. "For… what?"

"Mmm… dunno. Do I need a reason, dumbass?" She snickered to herself. "Y'know, stuff. Whatever. Thanks for… being here, and all that."

"I…" He bit his lip, a mix of guilt and something… a lot stronger freezing him in place. "N-no I just… I mean come on Niss. You would've done the same for me."

"…Right."

And he squeezed her hand with his own. It felt like an electric shock running through his fingers. The world seemed to both focus and lose detail around him, the oppressive heat of Pastoria and the distant sounds of people and Pokemon in the night being muffled into a far-away buzz, while the feeling of Niss against him and the sound of her breathing and the clear beat of her heart through her fingers felt more real than anything else. It felt too real, too bright and loud and Barry couldn't do anything except stay still and frozen, letting it boom through him.

"Mmmhey… Barry?"

"Hm?"

Niss raised her head slightly, pulling him down a bit closer. Then, quickly, she planted a kiss on his cheek.

Barry's heart tightened, eyes shooting wide open. The mess of emotions inside him felt like it short-circuited, leaving him completely frozen.

"I…I k-kfu…kinda…" Niss' grasp on speech deteriorated as tiredness and exhaustion began taking hold of her. "I k-kinda… wanna do that again. Yu-yuo-you know?"

"Y-yeah?"

"Yeah… I kinda…" She swallowed nervously, her eyes hidden by the shadow of her hair. "I k-kinda… really wanna kiss you. For real."

The following seconds were a contradiction. They felt like they stretched out for minutes, while at the same time making Barry's heart feel like it was beating a hundred times faster than before. During those seconds he slowly, almost fearfully, turned his head to the side. His eyes met Niss', and it was then that realization hit him with the force of a hammer to the nose. It was the kind of powerful, earth-shaking clarity that left him cold and breathless, eyes going wide like plates. Suddenly, for one of the very few times in his life, he felt like things clicked perfectly into place.

I…

The shock was such that he was left a pale, unsure mess, eyes wide and expression completely lost. It felt both obvious and like an incredible revelation at the same time. He could barely process it, could barely understand…

Niss' eyes narrowed ever so slightly, their green so bright and vibrant they felt like a whole landscape of their own. Barry felt like he could lose himself in them, in all its different shades and the little, almost imperceptible specks of yellow hidden within them, for hours.

"C-can… can I kiss you, Barry?"

There was nothing in the world Barry wanted more than to say yes. The clarity from his sudden realization and the mess of emotions he'd been feeling before combined into something else, something stronger. For a moment, he wanted nothing but to grab Niss and kiss her. Kiss her lips and her cheeks and her neck and never stop until, with that alone, he could get across clear as crystal what he felt toward her. Until she saw herself the way he saw her, until she understood perfectly just what those eyes of hers did to him when they met his so defiantly.

For a single, doubtful second, his grip got tighter and he almost pulled her closer. Then the clarity came slightly above every other part of him, and he stopped. He closed his eyes, silent for a moment, before he sighed.

"I…"

He opened them again and, with difficulty, shone Niss a warm, caring smile.

"Tell you what… ask me that tomorrow, after you get some sleep," he whispered. "When you ask me again, I promise I'll say yes. Okay?"

Niss blinked at him, eyes narrowing with drunkenness and exhaustion.

"O-oh… okay."

She didn't seem angry or sad or disappointed, just a bit confused as she pulled back and away from him, blinking rapidly. She looked like she was about to fall asleep.

"W-well… yer,yu,you… better remember your prem-prumise-promise, then," she said, letting out another big yawn. "And… I'll try to get some sleep."

Barry smiled and nodded. Standing up from the bed felt a lot harder than he expected, but he did it anyway, letting Niss get under the covers as he headed for the door.

It wouldn't be fair to her… Not now while she's like this, he thought, nodding to himself. Maybe tomorrow if she remembers this…

It was an unlikely hope. Judging by how drunk Niss was, he doubted she would remember this come the morning, but still…

It was a hope he wouldn't mind keeping close.

"Well… good night, Niss."

He looked over his shoulder, smiling at the sleepy girl as he reached the door. Niss looked up from the blankets and gave a small, tired nod.

Support the creativity of authors by visiting Royal Road for this novel and more.

"Nnnnight…"

----------------------------------------

Inyssa woke up certain that someone had lit a box of fireworks inside her skull.

She looked up at the ceiling of the poorly illuminated room, feeling something heavy and wet on top of her forehead. A few minutes passed in that stupor until she turned her head to the side and saw Barry sitting in a nearby chair, reading a comic book. His anxious fingers fidgeted on the corners of the pages.

"Barry… I think I died."

Her voice, rough as sandpaper, startled him. He lowered the magazine to his lap strongly, relief flickering across those big, brown eyes of his. The corner of his mouth quirked up.

"Not until you become the Champion and pay me all the fines you owe me."

It took her a few minutes to get used to the world turning into a dizzying blur every time she moved her head. With difficulty, she managed to sit against the frame of the bed while Barry got her some water to wash down the taste of alcohol and shame in her throat.

She didn't feel quite there yet, as strange as it sounded. This wasn't like waking up after Enma left her or after Mars beat her up, there was no invisible poison clawing through her veins in an attempt to paralyze her. She was fine, other than her pounding headache and the ache in her muscles. That was kind of the point. For once all the pain was only physical, and she was grateful for that.

"What the hell happened last night?" she asked after downing a glass of water.

Barry grimaced, a sour look crossing his face, as though that was the opposite of what he wanted to hear.

"How much do you remember?"

"Uh… until, I fell, I think." She rubbed the back of her head, noticing a small bump there. "Did I pass out?"

The disappointment on Barry's face was palpable, but he said nothing, and Inyssa failed to pick up on it.

"You'd be in the hospital if you had." He shook his head disapprovingly. "We saw it, you know. We were just looking for you with Reiko, Percy and Lucas when we saw you fall to the floor like a sack of potatoes."

"Come on, I'm sure I was more graceful than that."

A smile came easy to her, though she didn't understand why. By all means she should be dying of shame, horrified that everyone had seen her embarrass herself in such a way. And yet… she literally didn't have the energy to care at the moment.

It felt incredibly liberating.

"You did a flop in the air like a drunk ballerina."

She raised one hand weakly and punched his leg.

"Don't make fun of your poor, bedridden best friend," she said, feigning frailty.

"I mean, it wasn't funny at the time. Those guys you were hanging out with were super worried and… it almost got pretty ugly," he said, nibbling on his lower lip. "Reiko thought they'd been coercing you to drink and almost punched the guy in the mouth, until you told us everything was okay. At least… I think that's what you said. It wasn't easy to understand you when half the words you said sounded like they were from a different language."

She tried to imagine that scenario, along with her friends' confusion, and she couldn't help but laugh. What was happening? Why wasn't she feeling bad about it?

"Reiko didn't fight them, did she? They're super nice and didn't do anything to me."

"Yeah, you told us. After that you didn't want us to go so we just… hung out," he shrugged. "It was fun, and you're right in that they're nice people. But after a while I brought you back because I was worried."

It could've been a lot worse, Inyssa thought. At least she hadn't caused any strife and –hopefully– she still remained on good terms with Zachary and the rest. So what if the price had been a bit of drunk humiliation on her part?

She shook her head slightly, placing a hand against her forehead. What was she…?

"So… what else did I do?" she asked, and noticing the confusion on Barry's face she added: "I mean, I'm sure I did a lot more stupid shit. I'd just like to have a log of it all so I can read it later and weep with horror."

Barry let out an 'Oh boy' and leaned back into his chair while Inyssa tried to pay attention to all her drunk transgressions against common sense.

Apparently she'd invited all her Pokemon to hang out with them, and at one point tried to dance with Shadi, not remembering that her arms were literal scythes and as such not something she should grab onto. She tried to climb a tree, though her poor physical state and lack of coordination landed her on the ground a few times. She hugged Reiko and apologized to her at least twenty times for being previously angry at her. She flirted with Simone and then stopped because she felt embarrassed, and she spent an unreasonable amount of time telling everyone how cool and amazing Barry was.

He blushed as he told her that last part. Inyssa was absolutely certain that he wasn't lying.

Still, as much as she tried to listen her mind began to slowly drift away, eyes turning a pale, almost sickly green as her gaze became distant.

Why was she okay with all of this? There was no anger to summon, no more poison to cloud her judgment. The only thing wrong with her was the piercing, disorienting pain of her body failing her. She shouldn't be happy about that, and yet she was.

Her eyes glanced downcast at her hands while the sound of Barry's voice faded around her. As much as she wanted to hate her past self for drinking too much, all she remembered from that night was that feeling of pure bliss. Like nothing in the world could possibly be wrong, like all the broken, jagged pieces of herself fit perfectly for once.

As soon as she realized how much she missed the feeling, panic blared inside her like an alarm. A familiar image flashed in front of her. A fragile, miserable woman laying on her bed, surrounded by empty bottles. Her eyes faded, devoid of any care in the world.

Inyssa felt a sudden urge to get off the bed and run towards the bathroom's mirror. Would she look the same as her? Would her eyes be just as empty?

Fear tried to break through the hard shell of apathy built around her, though it only managed to shake her mind a little. Was this what her mother felt every day? It would've been easy to block everything out that way, Inyssa thought. Her husband's death, her oldest daughter's disappearance. The unbridled hatred from her youngest daughter…

She desperately tried to convince herself that she wasn't anything like Johanna, that never in a million years would she become the same as her. But then again… had she not tried to escape the pain too, back then? In a more drastic way, a more permanent one. If she'd known about this feeling, about how easily she could get rid of all the hurt and anger by only sacrificing part of her well-being…

Would she have chosen differently? That doubt was enough to finally crack part of her armor, and all of a sudden she felt like throwing up.

"Niss? Hey, Niss!"

The world came back into focus with a jolt. Barry was staring at her, a crease in his forehead.

"Y-yeah?"

"You look…" He hesitated for a moment. "…pale. Do you feel fine?"

"Yeah, I'm good," she said blankly. "Thirsty. Do you mind getting some more water?"

He nodded and left the room a few seconds later. With a strange sense of urgency Inyssa grabbed the Pokétch from the bedside table and turned it on. Hao's floating body appeared first; he seemed to be sleeping, judging by his closed eyes and loud snores. Ignoring that, she opened the message app and stared at the white screen for far longer than she should have.

Her fingers pressed strongly against the edges of the device, and the faintest spark of anger had resurfaced from the depths of her stomach. She knew it would happen sooner or later, and wanted to write the text before it took over.

No, she thought with conviction. We're not… I'm not going to go back to that.

What had happened last night wasn't the answer, she knew that better than anyone. But it'd been a start, a strong jolt that had allowed her to be someone different for a few hours. She wanted that feeling back, but knew that she would need to achieve that through work and effort instead of by emptying a bottle.

I'm stronger than her.

For the first time, she didn't feel angry at that realization. She felt pity, and something else that reminded her of better days, when she could hug and smile at her mother without dread and fury paralyzing her.

I have to be the bigger person.

With trembling fingers she began to type. At first it came easy enough, though when she got to the end of the text it felt like trying to write through a block of cement in her stomach.

After a full minute she finished it, and before she had a chance to regret it she hit the Send button. The words appeared on the white screen:

Hi, mom! It's me, Niss, I just wanted to ask how you were doing.

We're in Pastoria right now with Barry and a few friends. It's beautiful here, I'll see if I can send you a few pictures when I have time.

I already have three badges, and I'm about to get my fourth. You'll never believe it, but Crasher Wake is the Gym leader. I know you're not a fan of wrestling but I think it's pretty cool. I want to take a selfie with him once I beat him.

I'll talk to you more when I get the badge. I hope you're not having too rough a time over there. I'll come back to visit when I can, but for now I gotta go.

I love you.

She read it one last time and put the device back on top of the table, as if it were about to bite her. She knew there was a chance of her regretting her actions later, but as far as she was concerned, future her could go fuck herself. If she wanted to improve then she had to take any advantage she could.

Trying to distract herself, she looked around the room, and noticed her coat and belt full of Pokeballs hanging from a nearby chair at the other side of the bed. The sight of them brought an involuntary smile to her face, and she felt as if the air she was breathing became clearer. All six of them were still th-

Her smile dropped dead.

S-six?

Why… why where there six? She'd broken Hao's Pokeball back in Veilstone, hadn't she?

The door opened then, startling her. Barry came in with a bottle of water on one hand and a small bag of biscuits on the other. The bag was opened, and his cheeks were puffed like those of a Pachirisu.

"Hey, Barry…"

"Hhm?" he perked up his nose, swallowing. "What is it?"

"Did you accidentally give me one of your Pokeballs?" She pointed at the belt. "There's six of them."

Barry raised an eyebrow, as if he didn't understand the question.

"Niss, I told you that already," he smiled. "Did you doze off or something?"

"T-told me what?" she asked hesitantly, sitting up straight against the frame of her bed.

"That… weird Pokemon, the blue one you and those people were hanging out with…" He pointed at the sixth Pokeball, "…You caught him, remember?"

Inyssa's jaw dropped.

"I did WHAT!?"

----------------------------------------

"And… you're sure you're okay with this?"

Inyssa spoke to the screen of her Pokétch, at the other side of which Simone showed her a patient smile. She'd decided to contact them as soon as possible, even if she was still bedridden and her head practically bursting open with pain. In the chair next to her bed, Barry had pressed a hand against his mouth to stifle laughter.

"I told you, it's all good," said Simone with a wave of their hand. "He's the one who wanted you to catch him, remember?"

Inyssa crinkled her nose and looked down, heat rising to her cheeks. She had absolutely no idea how the whole thing had transpired.

"But… isn't he your friend? Aren't you and Zachary going to miss him?"

"The only thing Zach is missing right now is hangover medication," Simone chuckled. "He got even more hammered than you; poor guy's gonna be laying down for a while."

She tried to speak up again, but Simone interrupted her by raising their hand.

"It's okay, Niss, seriously." She somewhat recoiled at the sound of someone else using that nickname. Had she… had she told them to use it last night? "Johnny's… kind of weird, but he's been a good friend to us when we were down. Now that we're all making it on our own, he must've decided that you needed him more than us."

An odd discomfort grew inside Inyssa's chest. She shifted uncomfortably on the bed and unconsciously tried to make herself smaller.

"Alright… but you guys can call me and talk to him whenever you want. I'll also bring him back to visit once in a while."

She couldn't shake off the image of her as the Quagsire's divorced mother, making arrangements for him to meet the rest of his parents every weekend or so. A smile broke through her efforts to hide it.

"I'm sure we'll miss him plenty, but he's the one who wanted to go with you," said Simone. "Besides, I reckon he'd be pretty useful to you. For battling and all that."

Inyssa's eyes went wide. She hadn't considered that. Indeed, as much as she didn't like water types she needed to catch one sooner or later, and the Quagsire's secondary ground type along with his beefy defenses would fit in her team perfectly.

"I… think I could make that work," she said, a dozen battle plans running through her head already. "He'll need some training though. I'll start on that as soon as I can get out of bed."

She looked at Barry, who leered back with a look of 'That's not happening until I'm absolutely sure you're feeling better.'

"Well, whenever you're ready to fight Crasher Wake let us know! We'll be there to cheer for you." Simone smiled. "Though now I gotta go to work, so we'll talk later! I hope you get better soon!"

With a blip their face disappeared from the screen, which returned to the familiar sight of a snoring Hao. Her lips slowly pursed, and the faintest spark of an idea began to form on the back of her mind.

Ignoring that for the time being, she lowered her wrist and leaned back onto the frame of the bed, letting out a sigh.

"I guess Wrathia and Auri will get a new training partner," she said, looking up at Barry.

"Why don't you let him out now?" he said. "That way you can start getting to know each other."

She nodded, and hesitantly grabbed what she knew to be his Pokeball, judging by how new and shiny it looked. She moved it between her fingers for a moment, feeling its weight, and let it open with a flash of light.

The Quagsire appeared in the middle of the room, his tiny eyes as dazed and his smile as aloof as she remembered from last night. It took him a few seconds to realize he was out of the Pokeball. He moved his head slightly to the right and left, and then stared directly at his new trainer.

"Saair," he said, opening his mouth wide.

Inyssa hesitated for a moment. How was she supposed to introduced herself so a Pokemon like him?

"Hey there…" She waved weakly. "…I guess your name is Johnny? It'd be rude to change it now so I guess that's what I'm gonna call you. Definitely not gonna use the Jigglejam part because that's just stupid."

Johnny didn't blink, and Inyssa didn't know if he was even listening to her.

"Er… anyway," she stammered, trying to get the words out. "I'm your trainer now, and I hope we can work together from now on. I'll introduce you to the rest of the team later, alright? All you'll need to do is work hard and I'm sure you'll be a great asset."

At first the Quagsire didn't react at the hand being extended toward him, and Inyssa feared he might've fallen asleep with his eyes open. However, after a few seconds, he raised his short fin of a hand and bopped her on the nose.

She could hear Barry cackling next to her, and with her cheeks turning red she tried her best not to do the same.

"Alright… I guess your aim's the first thing we'll have to work on."