Inyssa couldn't remember for how long she'd been walking.

She shuffled aimlessly down the empty street, through paths familiar, yet unfamiliar, blurring and bleeding into each other like a wet painting. Like a dream. Black and white, and then yellow. Bright, yet dim. They formed an uniform row at her left and right, traveling through the length of the road. It was the only marker she could see, and so she followed the…

Her eyes narrowed ever so slightly, the colorless green behind them seeming to come alive. Lamp posts. Those were… lamp posts. And the bone-white specks falling through the dark sky could only be snow. They were cold to the touch. But if her whole body already felt cold as death, did that really mean anything?

Where… am I?

It was the first thought she'd had in who knows so long. Cold. She was… cold, but no, that wasn't a place, just a state of being. She blinked, twice, then thrice before the scene in front of her finally started making sense.

It was night. It was snowing. She walked down the empty streets of some suburban neighborhood, illuminated only by the fluorescent yellow of the lamp posts above. Their light fought valiantly against the darkness of a moonless night. Under them the snow looked golden, like droplets of sunlight falling from the sky.

Inyssa kept walking. This felt so… familiar. The cold biting into her bones through her clothes. The pain in her calves as she wedged through the inches of snow covering the streets. The way no exhalation felt like it gave her enough air. The blood inside her ran lethargically, making her feel on the verge of unconsciousness. Like her head was filled with hot helium.

Her gaze drifted from one side of the street from the other. This looked like Twinleaf but… also not. Some houses had completely incongruent architecture. Some were tall and made of brick like in Sandgem, others compact and made of that shiny black material, like in Celestic. Sights and sounds and smells from all over Sinnoh met her the more she pondered. Like all her memories had been mashed together, had bled into each other. And what remained was… this.

This cold, lonely path she'd walked once before. That's all it was. That's all she'd ever been, deep down. Just this place, this moment. It encapsulated the core of what made up Inyssa Dawn.

Apathy. Exhaustion. Pain.

Inyssa kept walking. Hopeful or desperate, she didn't know. She kept walking, looking for somewhere. For some place to…

She blinked. And she remembered. Ah, of course, this is what she was doing.

Inyssa was looking for a place to die.

Her steps became faster, her breathing more ragged. This was it, she'd promised herself, had promised her poor body. She just had to find someplace to lay her head down. Somewhere warm, far away from this biting blizzard.

She had a feeling that if she collapsed here, so she would remain for all of eternity. Cold and alone. She didn't want that.

That's why… just a little more…

Her body didn't protest, but that's because it couldn't. As much as she'd hated it before, it had only ever done its best, no matter how badly she'd treated it. It should have been the one to hate her. But it didn't matter anymore. They'd both be resting soon, and then there would be no more pain, no more anger.

Just sleep.

She could see it now. Entire cities and towns floated in pieces, broken, bleeding the white that fell from the sky as they rose up from the sides of the road she walked. A horizon of decay. Only what rested at the end of this path truly existed. Only there, she could…

Every lamp post around her went out at the same time, leaving her in almost complete darkness. A single source of light remained. It was there, not too far away, where the end of the street should've been. Warm and inviting, it called out to her through what looked like a window. She hurried toward it, wading through the snow desperately, her long red coat fluttering with the wind behind her.

As she approached, she heard voices coming from inside the house. She blinked, trying to make out details. Everything was blurry through the blizzard, but the place didn't… look like her house. A distant voice in her head told her this was the spot where Barry's house should've normally been, but it didn't look like her memory either. It was like she couldn't make out the shape of the house itself. Or more like… it wasn't important. Only the warmth inside mattered. It filtered through the cracks of the windows and the door, wafting toward her invitingly. This was it. The place she'd been looking for. Inside, she could…

Inyssa's hand was reaching for the doorknob when she heard a distant sob, and froze.

She looked over her shoulder, and saw nothing but darkness. The light within the house only illuminated halfway toward the other side of the street, and all beyond were cold shapes and lifeless buildings. Unimportant.

But I just heard…

There it was again. It was faint, barely hearable over the roar of the blizzard and the alluring pull of the warmth behind her, but she heard it. Someone… crying.

Her mind and body were so frayed, so exhausted that she didn't think it was possible, but she actually felt a pang of pain for whoever was making that noise. She took a step back from the house unconsciously, and every part of her being screamed at her in protest. She was so close. Only a door separated her from the rest she needed, she deserved. Who cared if someone was crying? It was none of her business.

And yet, finding strength from somewhere, Inyssa began to turn around.

But just as she did, the door swung open behind her. Inyssa snapped back in surprise, and the sudden warmth and brightness blinded her.

"A-ah…"

"…Niss?"

The voice froze her in place. As though by sheer desperation alone, her eyes adjusted quickly to the light coming from the other side of the door, and she made out the features of the person standing in front of her.

"S-S… Shadi?"

The young woman smiled, somewhat concernedly. It was such an odd expression on her pale face, yet it was so incredibly beautiful. She… didn't look much taller than her, and she wasn't wearing that black cloak, nor was her hair tied back in a ponytail. In fact, it only reached her shoulders. And looking down, she noticed she also had both of her arms.

Inyssa blinked. This Shadi was… young. Around nineteen years old? She couldn't be much older than her, but even so, there was none of the bitterness or exhaustion she associated with this version of her sister. Her eyes were loving, if worried. And when she spoke, her voice made Inyssa's shoulders feel as though they weighed nothing at all.

"You're finally back," she smiled. "I was getting worried. Look at you, there's snow all over you…"

Shadi reached with her hand toward her and gently swatted at the small clumps of white atop her head and shoulders, wiping her clean. Then she let that hand land on her shoulder, and squeezed playfully. When Inyssa didn't reply, frozen as she was, Shadi raised an eyebrow and hung her head slightly to look her in the eye.

"Niss?"

She tried to swallow, but her throat was dry as sandpaper, so she just shook her head.

"I… huh?"

The look on Shadi's face became more concerned. She studied her sister for a few seconds before showing her a kind smile and placing her other hand on Inyssa's left shoulder.

"You've been away for a long time," she whispered. "But I'm so happy you're back. You must be so tired…"

"Y… yeah."

Shadi nodded. "It's okay. You're back home, with us."

"…Us?"

Yes, there were voices inside. Muffled, far away, but she could almost pick them out. One was Johanna's, from… the kitchen? The other was rougher, more masculine, but who…?

The silhouette of a man walked into the main hall from the door leading to the kitchen. Inyssa had to squint through the brightness, but that green coat and wild mess of blonde hair were unmistakable. It was Palmer.

"What… are you…?"

"Ah! And the girl of the day finally makes it!" the man exclaimed, his tone bombastic as usual. "Was starting to get worried there for a second."

Palmer was wearing a pink cooking apron, and held in his hands a bunch of empty pots and utensils. It took her a second to realize he was probably bringing them to the table. But that still didn't make any sense.

"What's… this?" she asked again.

"Ah? You okay there, Inyssa?" Palmer frowned. "Don't tell me you forgot."

Shadi looked back at her, smiling. "We're making dinner. Our family and Barry's, remember?"

"D…dinner?"

"Yes, for your birthday," Shadi explained. "We couldn't celebrate it like this before, but everyone's schedules finally made it possible. We were just waiting on you," she said. "Palmer's helping mom with the cooking, and Barry's upstairs in your room, I think."

"Speaking of which!" Palmer exclaimed. "I better get all this on the table before I get yelled at."

And he stumbled his way through the packed foyer, trying his best to look over the pile of cutlery he was holding. Shadi looked over her shoulder and chuckled. Then she turned back to Inyssa and rolled her eyes like she was supposed to be in on the joke.

"I…" Inyssa swallowed. "I don't get it."

"What don't you get?" mused Shadi. "We were just waiting for you, and here you are. That's all there is to it. Aren't you going to come in?"

Inyssa looked from the inside of the house to Shadi, then back in. It looked so inviting. Her house had never looked this bright, had never felt this warm, this… comfortable. Even just standing outside, she felt the cold and pain melt off her body. Inside it would be even better, she realized. All she had to do was take a step forward.

But…

"…Niss." Shadi seemed to sense her hesitation. She leaned forward slightly, so their eyes would be at the same level, and gently squeezed her shoulders. "You want to rest, don't you?"

Inyssa got lost in her eyes. All she could do was nod.

"I'm sure dinner won't be ready for at least an hour," she said. "We can lie down on the couch together, if you'd like. Just a little nap. Dozing off in front of the fireplace like we used to do… how's that sound like?"

Tempting. So, so tempting. Inyssa almost agreed before Shadi could finish the sentence, but the words wouldn't come out. She looked over her sister's shoulder, toward the large, comfy couch behind her. A memory came to her. Shadi, Barry and her lounging on the couch during a cold winter afternoon, the two younger kids cuddling with the older girl, slowly dozing off to the lull and warmth of the flames within the fireplace. Her head resting on Shadi's chest. Her sister's heartbeat enveloping her whole, keeping her safe, telling her it would all be okay…

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It was one of the kindest, brightest memories she had. A shimmering pearl gleaming in a dark ocean.

"I…"

But none of this was right. On some level, Inyssa understood this. Palmer was dead. Shadi would never say these words, would never act so kind toward her again. Their families would never be as close as they once were. This warmth, this wonderful sleepiness, it was all fabricated. All so she could die someplace safe, someplace nice. If she accepted and laid down on that couch with Shadi, she would never wake up again.

But was that really a bad thing? Shadi had said it too. She was so terribly tired. And if it was a lie only she would ever know…

Her foot moved. Shifted across the snow building up in front of the door. She leaned forward, ready to take a step.

"Yeah, I–"

And then she heard it again. That sharp, distant sobbing. She had no idea how she managed to pick it up above the calm, warm silence that had started to envelop her. It was so faint. One last struggle. Desperate claws scratching at the back of her mind, warning her.

Begging for help.

Inyssa's foot froze in mid-air. She stood still for a few seconds, then hung her head and sighed.

"Niss?" Shadi asked, concerned. "Is everything–?

"Sorry."

The corners of her lips hurt as she smiled, and her arms even more so as she raised them and grabbed at Shadi's wrists, lifting the hands off her shoulders.

"I'll be right back, but…" she said. "…There's something I have to check."

She turned around, letting go of Shadi's hands, which disappeared back into the darkness like an anchor detaching from a ship. Everything else followed. The house, the warmth, the brightness, it all vanished into thin air as Inyssa willed the door to slam shut, and dragged herself away, one step at a time.

Into the storm, and the dark, and the pain of consciousness.

----------------------------------------

It didn't take her long to find the source of those sounds, mostly because Inyssa had a pretty good idea of who was causing them. She hurried as much as her worn out body allowed her, barely even able to lift her feet anymore, instead just quickly dragging them across the ground, one hand clutching at her heaving chest. When she finally got there, she had to blink to make sure. Her vision was blurry, the scene in front of her a mixture of incomprehensible shapes and colorful lights.

Then they all clicked together, and she stopped in her tracks. This wasn't exactly what she remembered.

"G-gh… hhha… s-sn…gh…"

Wet, ugly sobs came out of something small and pale, curled up shaking against the wall of what looked like a Pokemon Center. Inyssa's memory immediately flashed back to that day she encountered Shadi. But no, this was… different. The comparison was too obvious to ignore, but she was not looking at a Pokemon, but a person. A young girl, probably no older than fifteen.

She hugged her knees tightly, one side of her face obscured by the pile of dirt and snow that had formed under her. She wore a simple long-sleeved dress with pink tips on the skirt, and jeans underneath. Inyssa recognized the outfit. It wasn't nearly enough to protect against this kind of cold, and she silently wondered if the girl's shaking had something to do with that, or maybe with the sorrowful sobs wracking through her body.

It wasn't pity what finally made Inyssa move, but understanding. Her pained, dazed mind kept urging her to go back, to ignore this useless bleed-through of memory and just end things once and for all, but she ignored it.

Even if this other her was just a memory, even if it was the last cry of help from her slowly-dying soul, she couldn't ignore it. She could not ignore the cries of someone in pain.

"It's okay," she whispered, taking a step forward. "I'm–"

The shadows around them pulled inwards, shooting straight at Inyssa as countless spears of darkness. She seized up, but was not fast enough in her current state. A terrible sharpness shot through her incorporeal form as they ran her through, hungry and hateful.

Gritting her teeth, Inyssa glared through the glassy tears forming in her eyes, and saw the shape of her assailant. A small, child-like clump of shadows stood above the younger Inyssa, its body nothing but a deep, impenetrable darkness. The only visible part of the creature were its eyes, wide and hateful, a gleaming red.

Despite the unbelievable pain, Inyssa sneered. "I'm… not here for you."

The edge of its shadowy silhouette waved, shifted violently as though her words had angered it even more. It said nothing. A second later, the darkness jumped at her once more, dozens and dozens of hateful ebon spears rushing in all directions. Toward her chest, her neck, every one of her vitals.

And the younger Inyssa's too.

She moved, drawing energy from what should have been empty, and heard the darkness whistle over her head as they missed her by inches. And yet, she threw herself straight toward the other volley, uncaring. With speed she shouldn’t have been capable of, Inyssa threw her body atop that of her younger self, and protected her.

The furious hissing of darkness piercing into flesh sounded like steam rising from a kettle. Inyssa grit her teeth as to not to scream. The pain was indescribable, but she refused to close her eyes, refused to budge even a single inch, even as countless spears of darkness were stabbed onto her body.

The Inyssa under her stopped crying, freezing in place as though from shock. The shadow behind her startled as well, its massive eyes growing even wider.

Inyssa sighed. They both deserved sympathy, in a way, but there was only so much she could do in her current state. Her mind screamed at her once more for wasting time. But as long as she could do this…

I can… at least come back to them feeling proud, I guess.

Even on her hands and knees, pierced all over by spears of pure hatred, Inyssa managed to raise one hand, which she shakily pointed toward the clump of shadows behind her, bearing her form. Those eyes, Mars'... no, Siffa's eyes, stared curiously at Inyssa's fingers as they approached. Then the two touched, and a burst of light flowed from one to the other. There was a bright flare, a piercing scream, and a sound like that of paper being burnt.

And then the two Inyssa were alone once more.

"…It's okay."

The smaller Inyssa, half her face still buried in snow and dirt, looked up toward her and said nothing, her lower lip shaking. Multiple trails of dried tears adorned her bruised, reddened cheeks. It was the look of a frightened, wounded Pokemon who was too wary of even the idea of hope. It was the same look Shadi the Kricketot had given her during their first meeting.

So this is what I looked like back then too, she smiled sadly. No wonder Barry felt compelled to help me.

Slowly, grunting through every movement, she pulled back from the position she was in, sitting back on her knees. Those spears of darkness were gone, but the pain was still very much real. Even so, she willed herself to endure it and leaned forward toward the small girl, helping her up to her knees as well. It took a while. She flinched and cried out in pain with every little touch and movement, but Inyssa made sure to take it slowly, gently.

"It's okay," she whispered again, a tiny smile on her lips. "It's okay…"

Carefully, she slid her hands under the girl's arms and pulled her closer, enveloping her in a tight embrace. The younger Inyssa flinched, but didn't move away. And after a few seconds of her chin resting on the older Inyssa's shoulder, her body started to relax. Her breathing became steadier, and her shaking became less extreme.

"T-this is all just a bad dream. None of it is real," Inyssa said, voice hoarse and vulnerable. "It's j-just a nightmare, so… so y-you don't have to fear going back. There's people waiting for you back home..."

The younger girl said nothing. Inyssa doubted she could even speak; it had taken a lot less than this in the past to render her non-verbal, even if it was never for more than a day. But that was okay. She didn't need to reply, she just had to listen. Listen and…

"T-they're all so worried about you…" Her own voice wavered, wetness forming in her eyes. "They all love you s-so much. You're not alone so… please, remember that, okay?"

But it wasn't like it was needed anymore. The shaking and sobbing against her had calmed down. Now it was her who was shivering, whose voice was breaking.

"…I'll… bring you back," she whispered, trying her best to gather the shards of her voice inside her throat. "I'll bring you back to them, so you don't have to worry. If you w-want to close your eyes and rest, it's… it's okay. I promise I'll bring you back home safely. And when you're t-there, you can eat and sleep a-and do whatever you want, and everyone's gonna take care of you, o-okay?"

No reply came, but it didn't need to. The sound that followed, a deep, shaky inhalation, told her that the younger girl had fallen asleep. She lay weightlessly against her, all strength gone from her tiny body.

Inyssa smiled, and figured that was response enough. Sniffling, she rubbed her teary eyes with the back of her sleeve and nodded to herself.

She threw the girl's arms over her shoulder, and with incredible effort grabbed onto the underside of her legs and lifted both of them up to her feet. The younger Inyssa remained asleep, clinging onto her like a peaceful Komala. The sight was just adorable enough to distract her from how unbearably painful carrying her was.

"It's… not far from here," she whispered, managing to smile nonetheless. "You'll be back home soon, I promise."

----------------------------------------

When the door opened again, and the warm golden light beyond enveloped her once more, it took every ounce of willpower she had not to lean forward and collapse onto Shadi's arms. It was bliss. The kind that was not wholly devoid of pain, but instead made that pain feel worthwhile. Significant. Barry had told her about it plenty of times before. About how he slept so much better after a day of working out, the soreness of his muscles feeling blissful once he finally laid down and closed his eyes.

Inyssa figured this must've been something similar, but unfortunately she was not allowed to rest. Not yet. The one who needed it most was…

"I… see now, why you chose to leave," Shadi whispered, looking at the young girl she was carrying. She smiled sadly. "You never could help yourself, could you?"

She could only give a weak nod, eyes hidden by the shadow of her hair. "C-can you…?"

"Of course. Here…"

It was like she could finally breathe again when the weight of the other Inyssa was lifted off her. Shadi held her, one hand under her knees and the other supporting her back. For a moment, the younger girl's eyelids fluttered as though she were to wake up, but then they closed again, and she rested her head against her sister's chest, hands unconsciously wrapping around her.

"Poor thing," Shadi whispered. "She must be so exhausted."

Inyssa could only twitch the corners of her lips in what could almost have been called a smile. She was supporting herself against the wall next to the door, shaking.

"You're… her, aren't you?" she whispered. Shadi perked up at that, confused, so she elaborated. "The Shadi I made up inside my mind. The one that… helped me face the truth, back in Snowpoint. That shadow… it was you, right?"

Shadi's lips formed a thin line, her eyes downcast.

"I'm sorry," she said. "It was just…"

"Necessary," Inyssa nodded. "Don't apologize. You were the best out of all of them."

A sour laugh left Shadi's lips. "For all the good that did you." She pursed her lips, looking down. "I know what happened between you two. It was very kind of you to... extend your hand toward hers again."

Inyssa stood silent for a bit. "I... don't know. I don't know what to say about her, or what to think or... even if we make it back, after w-what just happened, will she even...?" She raised a hand and grabbed her head, squinting as though in pain. "I'm not even sure about all those things I said to her, to convince her to go back with me. Even if she still believed me, I don't know if I... believe me? I..."

Words failed to come out, all clumped up together in her throat, so she just made a frustrated sound and shook her head. Shadi looked on, compassionate.

"It's okay," she said. "You can say it. I might be the only one you can safely say this to."

"I just... even if somehow things turn out alright, I don't know how I'll feel after. I talked all big before about figuring myself out and seeing through Shadi and acted all sure of myself but the truth is, I got no idea. I'm still riding on pure adrenaline and panic ever since I found out the truth. I haven't had the chance to... really sit down and think about just what the fuck all that was that happened back then. And not just with Shadi, but with mom and Sarah too. I have no idea how I'll feel once I... finish processing all of it. I promised them a lot but I don't know if I can go through with it, and now that..." Her voice trailed off, arm falling weakly to her side. "W-with what I did... Mars..."

"…Yeah," Shadi said again. "I'm sorry. I obviously don't know what it was all really like, but... I get it. How someone like me could... end up like that, if left to my own devices." She rested her chin atop the younger Inyssa's head, frowning sadly. "I'm sorry I couldn't be the real me."

"...I don't think that was ever possible," said Inyssa. "You could've been... better, but not as good as this. You're just an idealization."

Shadi chuckled, and threw her shoulders up in a 'Yeah, I suppose so' kinda gesture. "I'm what you think home is. Or... I was supposed to."

Inyssa said nothing for a while, expression unreadable. She raised her hand, reaching, and gently touched the smaller Inyssa's cheek with the back of her fingers. She scrunched up her nose in her sleep, but did not wake up.

"You can be that for her," she finally said.

"I could be that for you, too. You don't have to leave."

It was true. If Inyssa wanted to, if she really wanted to, she could stay here for however long this light shone against oblivion, and once it went out…

Rest, finally, from everything.

The idea had sounded so tempting only moments before, so why couldn't she accept the offer now?

She looked down at the other her, sleeping so peacefully in her sister's arms, and felt a pang of jealousy. Yet also… peace. Contentment. Like some grand, complicated puzzle had finally been solved inside her head. Somehow, she found herself smiling, and the answer came to her oddly easily.

"Thanks, but I have my own light to come back to," she said. "Let her have this one. She deserves it."

"…If you're sure."

She hadn't noticed, but she was lovingly caressing the other Inyssa's cheek with the back of her hand, like Shadi had done once or twice for her. A reassuring gesture, lulling her deeper into sleep.

"Even when I leave, this place will exist for as long as I remain alive," she said. "This… little pocket of light within Giratina's domain, it will be like a lighthouse. If any other unfortunate soul happens to land on this distant shore, looking for someplace to rest…"

"I will take care of them," Shadi acknowledged with a nod. "Just like I'll take care of her. I promise."

She returned the gesture with a smile, the green of the two sister's eyes meeting one last time. Something shook inside Inyssa. Her eyelids shook.

"Let her sleep as much as she wants," she said suddenly. "A-and make sure she eats a lot when she wakes up, and…" Inyssa swallowed, throat feeling dry, a familiar sting behind her eyes. "And… l-let her know if she does something good. Tell her you're proud. A-and that you love her. No matter how much she complains, k-keep telling her over and over until she believes it, and…"

"It's okay," Shadi whispered. "It's okay, Niss."

Only then did she realize what she'd been saying. Snifling, she raised her sleeve and wiped it against the wetness in her eyes, her shoulders shaking slightly.

"Y-yeah. Yeah, okay…" She inhaled deeply, taking a second to compose herself. "I'll… leave her to you, then."

And she took a step back, away from the wall and the door. Shadi's eyes followed her, and her lips became a thin, pale line.

"Not even a hug of goodbye?" she asked, hopeful.

She laughed weakly. "I'm sorry, but I don't know if I'll want to leave if I do that."

"…Fair enough, I suppose." There was a small pause. "You'll always be welcome here. I'll be waiting for you… no matter how long it takes."

A sad smile was all the response Inyssa could give. Avoiding her sister's eyes, she gave one last, quick nod and turned around, toward the street she'd come here from originally.

"By the way," Shadi called to her as she left, her voice sounding strangely distant. "Palmer asked me to tell you... to tell Barry that he's sorry."

Inyssa's face tightened for a second. "…Okay."

The door closed behind her, and she started to walk. Slowly at first, her muscles aching, her feet killing her. It would be a long road back toward consciousness. And it almost felt as though the street were on an upwards slope, making it even more difficult.

But there was no time to waste, so she silently apologized to her body and broke into a run, heading straight for that pale light in the distance.