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Chapter 119: In Stilness

Inyssa felt every ring of the Pokétch like a jolty heartbeat in her wrist, putting her nerves on edge. She stared down at the device, waiting with bated breath. It was asinine. She'd spoken to her mom a million times before and they'd been exchanging pleasant text messages for weeks; what was so different now?

When her voice finally came through, sounding rejoiced and immediately asking how she was, Inyssa found that there wasn't a single speck of bitterness rising from within her. Relieving, if a bit disappointing. Now she didn't have an excuse to…

"I'm… doing fine, yeah." She swallowed, feeling a tinge of guilt for keeping what had happened last night from her. "Ran into some problems on the White Pillar Path but we made it to Snowpoint anyway."

"Snowpoint? My, that's a bit far, isn't it… And you're sure you bought enough winter clothes to be there, yes? I don't want you to…" She caught herself, swallowing. "Sorry. I don't mean to butt in or anything like that."

Inyssa pursed her lips, blushing slightly. "It's… fine. You're my mom, you oughta worry about that kinda stuff," she said in a hushed tone. "Anyway, there's a reason I called you. Wanted to ask you a favor."

"Oh, of course! Anything, dear!"

She cringed at the sound of that last word, though not as strongly as she would have in the past. The feeling was gone in a second.

"There's… a friend I met on the way here. She's traveling toward Hearthome right now and really needs to speak with Fantina about something. Do you… think you could convince her to do that? Oh, and tell her to keep her ghost Pokemon at bay, just in case."

She could hear her mother frown at the other side of the call. "Her ghosts? Why?"

"I… that doesn't matter, just tell her that. Oh and her name's Vi. Got white hair, you can't miss her." She took a moment to breathe in. "Can you do that for me?"

Johanna let out a soft chortle. "Please, that will be no problem at all. I don't mean to brag but I'm very confident in claiming that I've got dear Fantina wrapped around the finger. She owes me for all that time she kept herself away."

"Right." Inyssa rolled her eyes. "Just make sure not to have anything else wrapped around your finger. I'm not quite ready to accept Fantina as my fucking stepmom yet, alright?"

"Ha! I'll try to control myself, dear." The smile in her voice was unmistakable. "In any case, consider it done."

"…Thanks. Really."

A couple seconds passed in silence. Inyssa tried to will herself to say goodbye and end the call –there was a lot to do, after all– but something kept her from doing so. She figured the same was happening to Johanna on the other side.

"Is there anything else, Niss?" A jolt ran up her spine at the sound of her mother calling her that. "I'm… here if you need to talk about anything, you know."

It's fine. I gotta go, talk to you later.

The words didn't want to come out, it seemed. Inyssa nervously walked circles inside the room, the fingers on her free hand playing with the fabric of her shirt. She finally opened her mouth, and just then a memory came to her. A furious girl. Scathing words.

Justice is dead. We're all that's left.

When she spoke again, the words that came out weren't the ones she expected.

"Mom, do you think… that someone like me can be the Champion?"

The question caught the woman off guard, judging by the sound of disgruntlement she made; Inyssa could perfectly imagine her tilting her head to the side, in the same way she often did.

"What… kind of question is that, dear? Of course you can. Isn't that the whole point of your journey?"

It should be, Inyssa thought bitterly to herself. But…

"I don't mean it that way. More like… do you think I should be the Champion?" She tried her best to keep all emotion from her voice as she said that. "Someone like me... could I reassure the people like Cynthia does? Make them feel safe? You know, help them out with their problems and all that stuff. Because…"

She stopped herself before she went too far. Some things she wasn't ready to stay out loud yet, not even to herself.

Still, her mother didn't seem surprised at those questions. She let out a sigh and Inyssa could feel a smile from her, as though she'd been expecting this.

"I might be a bit biased since I'm your mother, but of course I believe you can." Then, suddenly, her tone got colder and more serious. "Is this because of what that horrid woman wrote about you?"

Inyssa bit her lip. "That's part of it."

"Ugh. Forgive my language, Niss, but you shouldn't believe a single word that comes out of that… that snake's mouth." Inyssa had to stifle laughter. Her mother was almost as bad as cursing as Barry was. "I made sure to leave a mark when she came to ask me all those questions. I reckon that nose of hers hasn't quite healed yet."

"Thanks. That was… really cool of you, if a bit hot-headed."

"Where do you think you got that from?" asked Johanna. "Though I am serious about what I said, Niss. You've got the kind of spirit that can't sit by and watch when others need your help. I know that from experience." There was a short pause. "I… I wouldn't have gotten so far if it weren't for your help, you know."

She didn't mean to laugh, really. But such a ridiculous claim, coming out of nowhere and from her mother of all people, made it impossible to contain that disdainful chuckle as it left her mouth.

A tinge of irritation sparked in her chest.

"Now I know you're just buttering me up," she said bitterly. "My help? I did nothing but shout and be angry at you all those years, deservedly so, but still. How on earth did I help you?" She shook her head. "Agh, whatever. Sorry. Let's just… let's not end this call like this, it doesn't matt–"

"You're wrong."

Inyssa startled, the sudden drop in her mother's voice giving her pause and blowing away that fresh irritation. She frowned at the Pokétch in her wrist.

"What?"

Johanna stayed silent for a few seconds, to the point where Inyssa began to wonder if the call had been cut off without her noticing. When she finally spoke, her voice sounded different. Strained, hurt, proud.

"You never left my side. Right up until you went out on your trainer journey, you stayed with me."

"Only because I didn't have anywhere else to go," Inyssa snapped back immediately. "I wasn't trying to help you or anything like that."

"You were." Johanna said that with such belief in her voice that Inyssa couldn't find a way to retort. "Shadi… she gave up on me right away. I saw it in her eyes. She didn't ask me to get better or shout at me for being so weak. She just accepted that her mother had become a wretch and did the bare minimum to take care of me, to keep me going. Couldn't even look me in the eyes. The few times she did, I saw that there was no love there. Just bitterness." There was a hint of her voice cracking as she said that, though she concealed it immediately. "I don't blame her. I took the most important time of her life away from her; she had all the right in the world to despise me."

It felt like someone grabbing at her chest from the inside with frozen fingers. Inyssa didn't know what to say. Johanna had never mentioned any of this to her, nor anyone else for that matter.

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The woman took a moment to breathe, and when she spoke again all pain was left from her voice, leaving behind a smile Inyssa could hear perfectly.

"Back then, almost every noon I woke up, dazed and in pain, and I thought to myself… this is it. I can't do this anymore. I can't keep being a burden to the only family I have left. It would be better for her if I… weren't around anymore." She swallowed. "Every one of those days, I thought… this is it. But then you were there.

"Every day, without fail, you refused to accept the person I was. You got furious, you yelled at me and you demanded that I stopped being such a pathetic mess. You demanded that I got up and lived." She let out a sound like a laugh, but softer. "No matter what, you were always there for me, Niss. It's a shame that it took you leaving for me to realize that."

Inyssa had to purse her lips tightly to contain the sound her throat made just then.

"There's really no way I could thank you enough. But that's why I have to try so hard from now on, do you understand?" There was a shuffling sound, as though Johanna had raised her hand in front of her, forming a fist. "I will live. I will become someone hard-working and happy that you can be proud of, someone you can rely on. It's the least I owe you."

It took an inhuman amount of effort to stay still, to stop her shoulders from shaking and her lower lip from quivering. Something hot ran down her cheeks. Stains formed on the white fabric of her shirt.

"I… I'm not…"

"Yes you are, Niss. I honestly don't think I could have asked for a better daughter. You're smart, talented, beautiful and, most of all, compassionate. There's no doubt in my mind that you will become the best Champion this region's ever seen." She took another breath, this one slightly longer. "I am so proud of you."

For the following minutes, Inyssa was very thankful that neither Barry nor Maylene could hear her, crying because of a single sentence she hadn't heard since she was a kid.

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Not a single piece of toast was safe from Inyssa's ravenous hunger. By the time they were done with breakfast, she was pretty sure she'd eaten at least half her body weight –not much, admittedly– just in toasts and jam. And yet she was still fucking hungry. Maylene's mysterious girlfriend couldn't come back home with those groceries soon enough.

Barry suggested they went to the backyard to hang out with their Pokemon in the meantime, which immediately sent a shiver of panic down her spine. Yet she didn't say no. As anxious as the idea made her feel, she couldn't really put this off for long, could she?

The cold hit her in the nose as soon as she stepped out, not even the many pounds of extra clothing she'd brought being enough to fully protect her. Dry and sharp. Her feet sunk a couple inches into the snow, soft from last night's blizzard. Yet before she had time to complain about any of that, two screeches rang through the air and a pair of blurry figures jumped straight at them.

"Belelee!"

"Staaa!"

Shadi and the Staraptor threw themselves at her and Barry respectively, almost toppling them backwards. Inyssa stopped feeling the cold. A smile crept up the corners of her lip and she grabbed the Kricketune from under her arms and lifted her up as high as she could. Who was she to decline a hug from her favorite Pokemon?

The rest of her team didn't wait to follow. Steven flew around her frantically, letting out chirps of happiness as he batted his wings toward her in what could have been a hug. Kuro walked toward her and rubbed his cheek against her side, shocking her a bit. Bret and Johnny stood a few feet away, the first looking up at her with a smile, arms crossed, and the second staring into space as though he had no idea where he was. Though she could have sworn his smile was slightly wider than usual.

"Hey, hey! Easy there, I'm not back at a hundred percent yet!" She couldn't help but giggle as she let Shadi down and pet both her and Kuro on the head. "I'm happy to see all of you too, okay?"

Admittedly, Barry was having a much harder time. The Staraptor kept wanting to stand on his shoulders and give him peck-kisses, apparently forgetting that it was almost four feet tall and probably weighed two thirds of what he did. Still, that didn't seem to bother him. The glee on his face was so clear and vibrant that Inyssa couldn't help but smile.

"You really did come back," she said, looking at them. "Heh. I should learn by now not to doubt you when you say something is going to happen. You're pretty good at making the impossible happen."

"T-thanks but I just… Agh! Okay, easy with the pecks there." He squinted, elbows shrunk into himself, though he was still smiling. "I just had faith in her. And I'm glad she proved me right. Welcome back to the team, Paulette."

At the sound of that, the Staraptor extended her enormous wingspan and took off into the skies, letting out a screech of victory, so potent that it felt as though the air itself was shaking. Inyssa couldn't help but marvel at her form. Practically no sign of her previous injury was present in the beautiful way she soared through the sky, making the air itself bend around her wings.

She glanced to the side, toward Steven, and chuckled at the look of awe on his face.

"You'll look just as cool once you evolve, don't worry," she said. "You're close. I can tell."

"Raaa!"

Inyssa ruffled the feathers on his forehead, letting his wings envelop her in a warm, if somewhat uncomfortable hug. Unfortunately, that was over too quick for her. Which meant she now had no excuse not to acknowledge the Pokemon standing at the very back, nervously waiting for her.

Enma's nose perked up as she turned to look at him. The look on her face made his smile disappear instantly, the brightness of his flames dimming slightly.

"Can you guys stay here for a bit?" she asked. "I'll be back in a second."

She intentionally avoided looking at Barry as she said that, though she could still feel his worry on her back as she walked toward Enma.

The Infernape didn't move an inch. Inyssa dug her hands into her pockets and stopped a couple feet from him, face as devoid of emotion as she could make it. The intensity of her stare was such that Enma seemed to consider looking away, for a moment at least.

"So. You came back."

He swallowed. "Feer…"

"And I'm guessing you want me to put you back into the team?"

Enma nodded anxiously. In any other circumstance, she would've found it funny. He was a head taller than her and infinitely more powerful in pretty much every sense of the word, yet he was the one shaking in nonexistent boots at her icy glare.

"…Fine." She took Enma's Pokeball from the back of her belt, producing it on the palm of her hand. "I could certainly use a good fire type."

His eyes went wide at the sight of the Pokeball, the flame atop his head shifting violently.

"What?" she asked, frowning. "You thought I'd broken it? No. I'm not the kind to abandon her friends."

That was too far. She knew as soon as that look of pain flashed across Enma's eyes.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to…" She closed her eyes tightly, sighing. "I… yeah. You're back on the team. Just don't… do what you did before. Don't waste my time if you're just gonna run off again whenever you want. If you really want me to train you then you need to listen when I tell you something, okay? Think you can do that?"

"Fee! Feeer!" He balled his hands into fists and leaned forward slightly, a look of determination on his face. "Feeer!"

Inyssa nodded. She wanted to welcome him back properly. Tell him how much she'd missed him, thank him for coming back, but something in the back of her mind prevented her from doing any of that. Bitterness rose from her stomach like vile, choking her up.

"Great. Welcome back to the team, then," she said. "At this point I'm pretty sure everyone else in the team is stronger than you, especially Shadi, so you'll have to work twice as hard to compensate."

"Freeer!"

"Good. We start training later today. Be ready."

She turned on the ball of her feet and walked away, though not before whispering something his way.

"And thanks for saving me."

Barry, as usual, wasn't great at masking the worry on his face though at this point she couldn't really blame him for that. She accepted his hand on her shoulder without protest.

"Is everything okay, Niss?"

"Yeah." She tried her best to form a smile. "It'll be fine. You know how it is."

"Right…"

"In any case…"

She turned toward the rest of her team, hands on her hips, and raised an eyebrow at them.

"All of you play nice, alright? I know Enma attacked a couple of you but he's back on the team and that's that, got it?" She glanced toward Shadi, who still stared at the Infernape with a bit of distrust. "And you Johnny, go introduce yourself to him. We'll start training this afternoon so take advantage of this little time you'll have for pleasantries. Understand?"

All her Pokemon let out a cry in unison, which brought a genuine smile to her face. What had she done to deserve them? Nothing would be enough.

"Great. Now–"

The sound of a door opening cut her off. Everyone turned to look at the house as steps resonated from the inside, followed by the murmurs of conversation.

"We're back, y'all!"

Maylene's voice came loud and clear from the living room, full of giddiness. Then someone else giggled. Inyssa raised an eyebrow as the door to the backyard was opened and two people stepped through it.

An instant sense of familiarity struck Inyssa at the sight of the girl holding Maylene's hand. Mom Energy were the first words that came to mind, for some fucking reason. The way she rested her free hand on her hip, the pristine white shirt with a soft blue bow, the way her black hair was very professionally tied in two segmented pigtails, it all gave her the impression of someone who dealt with kids on a daily basis.

"I told you it's not polite to shout when inside a house." The girl glared at Maylene, though she couldn't quite hide the way her lips quirked up. "We shouldn't look bad in front of our guests."

"Oh come on babe, we're all pals here. I've already kicked their asses plenty so there's no shame to be had!"

"You are simply impossible." She rolled her eyes in that slightly haughty way Inyssa recognized from Johanna. "Anyway, sorry to both of you for the wait. I'm…"

Something strange happened then. The moment the girl's gaze moved from Barry to Inyssa, her face froze, the smile on her face dropping dead in an instant. Mouth agape, her hand moved like lightning toward her belt and, for no more than a moment, Inyssa could have sworn her brown eyes flashed with the barest glimpse of pink.

Then she blinked, and some kind of realization seemed to dawn on her. She let out the breath she'd been holding. Even from afar, Inyssa could almost hear the panicked rush of her heartbeat slowly calming down.

"B-babe?" Maylene put a hand on her shoulder, frowning with worry. "Are you okay?"

"I… yes. Yes, I'm okay." She straightened her back and breathed in, lips pursed. Her gaze moved toward Inyssa once more. "I'm sorry. I… mistook you for someone else. You're Inyssa, right?"

It took her a moment to reply, still unsure of what the hell had just happened.

"It's a pleasure," said the girl, forming a smile that didn't extend to her eyes. "My name is Candice. I am the leader of the Snowpoint Gym."