"I can't believe I'm actually doing this."

Cyrus hadn't directed that statement at anyone in particular. It was just one of those sudden realizations that formed in his mind and left through his lips before he could even process them, and it was only by coincidence that Cynthia was close enough to hear him.

"Hm? Doing what?" she inquired, looking over her shoulder. "Sitting on a log? Seeing me train? Eating a popsicle?"

"N-no, that's… those are all quite believable."

A small battle raged while they talked. What Cyrus had previously thought of as one of Cynthia's many flights of fancy was in fact her usual method of training; going to the middle of nowhere, having her Roselia use Sweet Scent and then defeating the hordes of Pokemon that came crashing down on them in waves. Many, many waves. It had been quite nerve-wracking the first few times. And even now, two weeks into their journey together, he couldn't stop himself from freezing up at the sight of dozens –and sometimes hundreds– of angry Pokemon stampeding toward them.

Right before Cynthia's team fell them all in one fast swoop, that is.

"Well? Spit it out, then!" Cynthia sat right next to him. "What is it that you can't believe?"

Cyrus shrank into himself at the sudden closeness. Synn above, why couldn't this girl understand personal boundaries? Why couldn't anyone?

"It's… I guess I haven't fully internalized it yet," he admitted, looking away from her. "That I'm here, with you. That I ran away from home."

He took a lick of the pink popsicle, and Cynthia did the same with hers a second after. For a moment, they just looked as bursts of flame and arcs of electricity flew through the air, each attack taking out at least a dozen wild Pokemon.

"Are you having regrets?" Cynthia finally asked.

Cyrus shook his head. "It's more complicated than that."

"Heh. When is it not with you?"

Her words were met with an icy glare.

"You're the one that dragged me away from Sunyshore for some god-forsaken reason," he spat out angrily. "The least you could do is listen to my thoughts."

Cynthia sighed. "This again… I didn't drag you anywhere, the final decision was yours, wasn't it?"

"Yes, because you twisted my arm something fierce."

"Hmph. That's ridiculous," she replied. "I gave you a way out and you took it, that's all. You're always over thinking everything."

"Maybe I wouldn't have to think twice about everything if you thought about them once yourself," he muttered. "And you still haven't told me why you went out of your way to have me come with you. Why do you even want me here?"

The face that Cynthia made just then might have been funny, had Cyrus not felt so frustrated. She leaned forward, eyes half lidded with frustration, absentmindedly licking at her popsicle.

"Why must there be a reason for everything? Do you want me to write you up an explanation in the style of an academic paper and have it signed by three different experts on the field every time I decide to do something?"

Cyrus scoffed. "You're dodging the question. And at least that would make it feel less like you're just toying with me."

That got Cynthia's attention. Her popsicle froze halfway toward her mouth and she just stared ahead for a moment, pensive, before glancing sideways toward him. The look on her face was one he hadn't seen since their time in Sunyshore. Since she'd overheard his parents arguing.

"Is… that what you think I'm doing?"

Cyrus looked away. He always had trouble looking people in the eye, but with Cynthia it was exacerbated tenfold.

"You're on your way to become the Champion. To stop this war," he said. "But what am I doing here? What am I supposed to do when your journey's over, when you don't want my company anymore? After that letter I left in mom's house, I can't go back anymore. So sorry to be blunt but yes, it does feel a little like I'm just a souvenir you found in Sunyshore and thought would be nice to bring along with you."

It was a long while before Cynthia found anything to say. Normally he wouldn't have been sure if she was still looking at him, but somehow he knew that she was. He could feel her eyes on the side of his head.

"Do you not like traveling with me?" she asked. "Are you unhappy?"

Cyrus grunted. "I'm not, that's kind of the problem. How do you not understand that?"

"I… just don't," she said. "I'm sorry but I don't get it. You wanted to come with me, so you came with me. I'm really not seeing the problem."

"… Never mind. It's fine, just–"

Cyrus stood up, feeling a crackling anxiety in his stomach, but a hand closed around his wrist before he could walk away. The feeling was like a bucket of cold water being dumped on him. There was a sudden, illogical panic, but also something else, something warm and confusing. He turned around quickly, finding himself face to face with Cynthia again.

"I like you," she said, with a determination firm as steel. "I want you to be my friend. It's been… really lonely, before this. Before I met you."

Cyrus' mouth gaped. "I…"

"There's your why, your reason," she spat out. "I'm bad at saying things with words directly, so I wanted to show you with actions. I'm sorry if it felt like I was toying with you."

He felt a pang of guilt at those words, and once again had to look away.

"I'm… really bad at reading between the lines," he admitted. "It's hard for me to understand things unless they're told to me directly. So I guess that means we're a pretty lousy pair."

Despite his downcast tone, Cynthia didn't take that as a bad thing. She smiled, and Cyrus could tell that she did even though he was looking away. There was something radiant about Cytnhia, something that was impossible to ignore.

"Or maybe it means we both have things we can learn from each other," she offered. "Doesn't that thought feel nicer?"

And it did, as much as Cyrus wanted to deny it. Hope felt nicer. He did like Cynthia, he did like traveling with her. And he did want to believe that this would all turn out alright. It was only every single other life experience of his that cautioned him otherwise.

Yet something about Cynthia's face, about her smile, always made him look back at her. Always managed to convince him, despite the odds.

"Yeah… it does."

----------------------------------------

At some point that day, the passage of time had slipped by Inyssa. She remembered what happened, of course. She'd talked with a lot of people, both in person and over the phone; Lucian, Fantina and Johanna, all of whom had assured her that the Sarah situation was in capable hands. And finally Cynthia, who met her on the outskirts of Pastoria (for safety reasons) and offered her a ride to Sunyshore, though it wasn't as much an offer as a polite order. Inyssa had agreed, and after saying her goodbyes and giving her contact information to the hospital so they could update her on Pyxis' condition, they were off.

It was evening by the time they set foot in the brilliant city. Inyssa remembered some awe breaking through the exhaustion sitting heavy on her shoulders at the sight of the setting sun cutting a straight white line over the endless ocean, its fading light mixing with the many reflective surfaces of the city to create a blinding landscape.

But she could barely remember that feeling, in retrospect. It felt blurry, like someone else's memory, the sheer weight of her dissociative state making the entire day pass by in a hazed blur, like a reel of still, dead images scrolling through her eyes.

She'd spent some time with Barry, and started to feel more like herself once she met with him and Metchi later, but her relief at that paled in comparison with her guilt. Her shame. She didn't feel like she deserved it, not after what had happened back in Pastoria. Not after she'd failed to stop that tragedy from taking place.

The two of them, of course, objected in their own ways, and despite her best efforts to the contrary, they did eventually manage to pull her out of that dark, cold place her mind had stumbled back into. As impossible as it had seemed a few minutes ago, she did smile again. Laughed once or twice, even. It brought her back to her senses enough to remind her that she hadn't eaten or drunk any water in almost a day. Once she did, she felt so much better that she couldn't help but feel frustrated at herself.

That warmth, that fleeting sense of peace she'd found for only a few hours back in Pastoria, was back, as though it'd never left. But it had, and it would again and again. Why couldn't she hang on to it? Even just a small piece, just the memory of it, a reminder that there existed something beyond these colder, harsher days. A reminder of what she was fighting for. Even as little as remembering to rest or feed herself would've helped, and still…

Why can't I just remember? she thought. Isn't that what I'm supposed to be good at? Why do I have to make things harder for myself?

If you spot this story on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

In the end, though, even those frustrations sunk down to the bottom thanks to Barry and Metchi's company, and through a blur of food, conversations and bad jokes, she eventually fully came to herself. It was only then that she realized how much of a haze the previous hours had been.

They were on a fancy hotel room Volkner had reserved from them, sitting on comfortable leather couches around a small table full of booze that Metchi was downing by herself. She sat on the floor across from them, back resting against the enormous body of her snoring Tropius, Lyserg.

Inyssa blinked a few times, and realized she was resting her head on Barry's shoulder, one arm linked with his. Her other hand was busy petting Steven's head, the Staraptor having fallen asleep on her lap a while ago. The rest of their Pokemon were strewn around the room, sleeping or eating or just playing with each other. She vaguely remembered airing concerns about letting a bunch of Pokemon out in here, to which Metchi just shrugged and asked what else were they supposed to use all the space for.

She gulped, the sudden clarity coming with a hint of guilt as well. Her left arm tightened around Barry's, which made him look her way, a quizzical look on his face.

"Barry, I'm…" She gulped, and was pleasantly surprised that her throat didn't hurt anymore. "I'm sorry, I–"

"Again?"

The amusement –and small amount of irritation– with which Barry said that caught her off guard. She hung there for a moment, unsure of what to say.

"You apologized like fifteen times already," he pointed out.

Inyssa gulped. "I… did?"

"Yeah. And every time I told you the same; it wasn't your fault."

"I… maybe if I'd complied, neither Pyxis nor your mom would've–"

Metchi let out a groan. "Dear tap-dancing fuck, are you really gonna get like this again?"

Heat rose up to Inyssa's cheeks. She shot Metchi a cold glare. "Hey, I was talking to him, not you."

"He's probably thinking the same, but is too polite to say it," shrugged Metchi. "And I'm sure Lyserg and all the other Pokemon here would say the same, if they could talk."

"Well…"

"Here, how's this? How about you two dipshits stop blaming yourselves for things that your shitty family members have done?" she offered. "Wild, I know."

"M-Metchi!" Inyssa pursed her lips, glancing from her to Barry. "That's…"

"It's fine," said Barry, sighing. "I… she's not wrong."

Both women looked at him. He shrugged and looked away, trying to keep the sadness out of his expression.

"I always knew mom was a little… unstable, in some ways. Especially after the war. Dad used to say that she wasn't so intense before that, so… overprotective," he explained. "He said she used to be a lot more… nuanced, I guess. More willing to compromise. But because I never knew that part of her, I didn't notice something was really wrong when I talked to her after the funeral. And even if I did… I don't know what I could've told her to make her snap out of it."

Inyssa nodded. She'd had the same feeling a few times before, had seen that dangerous fear behind the woman's eyes, that over protectiveness that could have –and eventually had- so easily turned to grief and a rage so potent it would burn down everything around her.

"You should be glad that nobody died, at least," said Metchi. "And that thanks to Lucian covering it all up, your mom's not going to prison, even though she probably should." Inyssa opened her mouth and was about to call her out for her lack of tact, but Metchi cut her off. "Anyway, thank you for saving Pyxis' life. I always did like her. We should all pay her a visit once all this end of the world business is done with.."

Again, that heat rose to her cheeks and Inyssa could do little but look away.

"Yeah..."

"I'd like that," smiled Barry. "And… I think we should get some rest now," he said, looking up at the clock that indicated it was already 2 a.m.

Inyssa nodded. "Cynthia said she wanted to take us somewhere tomorrow, but I figure we can try and get Volkner's badge before that."

The three of them nodded. Metchi, letting out a mix between a yawn and a groan, pushed herself to her feet and made her neck click before returning Lyserg to her ball.

"Yeah, sounds good," she said. "I'll head to my room, leave you two lovebirds alone."

Inyssa pursed her lips, her cheeks reddening. "Don't call us that."

"What, am I wrong?" she said with a sly smile. "You've been glued to him all day. And don't think I haven't noticed that oversized shirt you're wearing under your jacket. It's Barry's, is it?"

"S-shut up," muttered Inyssa, hugging Barry's arm even tighter. "It's… therapeutic, alright? I think I've earned it by now."

----------------------------------------

The next day, Inyssa and Barry set out for the gym first thing in the morning. They would've asked Metchi if she wanted to accompany them, but judging by how much the woman had drunk last night, she probably deserved a couple more hours of sleep. It wasn't like she was a big fan of Pokemon fights, or Volkner, or Cynthia for that matter. They could pick her up on their way back.

The building itself wasn't nearly as impressive as Inyssa had imagined for a city like Sunyshore. It looked… fine. It was certainly one of the biggest she'd seen yet, and the multitude of enormous light bulbs and strange rods which shot beams of electricity at each other made for impressive scenery, but it lacked… something that had been present in the other gyms. It was like someone had told Volkner to make the building electric-themed and he'd done so reluctantly, putting in the minimum required effort.

Makes sense if he's disillusioned with his job like I heard, she thought. Not many can give him a proper challenge.

Hopefully that would change today. It'd been some time since she'd engaged in a proper Pokemon battle, and the same was true of Barry, but they'd been keeping up their training regardless, even if one of them was no longer a League challenger. She doubted they could win against Volkner in their first try, but they'd at least give him one hell of a fight.

Said Gym leader was waiting for them in the middle of the deserted arena, and he was not alone.

"Ah. Inyssa, Barry, it's nice to see you again." Cynthia smiled as they approached, her voice soft yet powerful as usual. "How's the morning treating you?"

Inyssa and Barry exchanged a quick look. It always felt awkward exchanging pleasantries with the ex-Champion, especially after everything that had happened. She mumbled something under her breath and Barry replied with a smile and a comment about how comfortable the hotel beds had been.

"That's good to hear," nodded Cynthia, then she looked at Inyssa. "I… heard about what happened in Pastoria. You both have my condolences."

"What?" muttered Barry. "Oh… yeah I mean, it's not like it was your fault. It's fine."

"Where've you been these past few days anyway?" asked Inyssa. "You said you had some things to take care of, yeah?"

"I… yes. I've been here and there, taking care of things, making sure all is ready," she explained, tone heavy. "I spoke with Fantina just last night, and she told me we might have an easier access point into Mt. Coronet thanks to a potential new ally, but that is for her to worry about. The important thing is that Lucian has secured me a secure, stealthy route to a certain spot in Lily of the Valley island. As I told you through call earlier, I'll need the two of you and Metchi to accompany me once this battle is over."

The Fantina thing was new, but Inyssa figured from the impatient look on Cynthia's face that there wasn't much time for explanations. Besides, that was their mission. She, Barry, Metchi and Cynthia had their own task to worry about, and it was a pretty hefty one as is.

"Right," she nodded. "Then, should we start?"

Volkner let out a sigh, the first sound he'd made yet, and with lazy movements he grabbed the back of his neck and made it click. He then shot them a sharp look and lowered his hand to his belt.

"Yeah, about that," he said. "Original plan was for both of you to get your turn with me, but miss ex-Champion here says time is of the essence, so she came up with an idea."

"An… idea?" frowned Inyssa. "What do you…?"

Simultaneously, almost as though they had planned it, both Volkner and Cynthia produced a Pokeball from their belts, and the combined weight and power of their gazes falling upon them sent shivers down the young trainers' spines. Inyssa's breath hitched. Next to her, Barry's eyes went wide with awe, his mouth forming an excited 'O'.

"W-wait, you mean…?"

"Indeed," chuckled Cynthia. "We're all here, aren't we? It'd be shameful to waste such a wondrous opportunity to test each other's mettle."

"The two of us against the two of you," Volkner explained. "Sound good?"

The two young trainers barely needed a second to recover, their reactions identical. They took a step back and grabbed a ball from their belt each, raising them forward to meet their opponents. Mixed looks of fear and excitement crossed their faces.

"This is the best thing ever," whispered Barry, his voice going thin.

"A battle against the two strongest in Sinnoh?" asked Inyssa with a hungry smile. "I'd be an idiot to refuse."

"That's the spirit," smiled Cynthia.

Volkner sighed again, shoulders sloped. "I'll be honest, I wasn't all that stoked when I heard I'd have to fight you two, but hey, you did rank right under that Reiko girl in the annual trainer evaluation, and she wasn't bad at all. Still took her eight tries before she beat me, but she got the badge in the end." For the first time, the boredom disappeared from his face, replaced with something much more intense. "This might just be worth my time, even if one of you is no longer a challenger."

A crease formed in Inyssa's forehead at those words. Of course he'd mentioned that, and now everyone's eyes were on her, equally curious, even if Barry was trying to hide it. She hadn't told him her reason for throwing away her badges yet. Hadn't felt like talking about it. But he'd been patient enough, and it wasn't a feeling she could bury forever.

Besides, what better place to melt the icy doubt gripping at her than in the flames of battle?

She looked down, closing her eyes, and spoke.

"I was… a different person when I started my journey. Or at least I'd like to think so," she said, forming a tiny smile. "I am still a trainer; that will never change. My blood will always rush and boil whenever I find myself in a battle, and I wouldn't have it any other way. My ultimate aim is still to become the Champion of Sinnoh… but now I realize it's not a goal worth losing my life, or my happiness, over. I'm done desperately chasing after the shadow that's tormented me all my life. After all of this is done, I will give myself time, something I haven't done since setting foot outside of Twinleaf. And then…"

Inyssa pressed her free hand against her chest, and looked up at Cynthia with a calm smile.

"Then, I'll begin my new journey. And whether it's here or someplace else, I'll make sure to learn from the mistakes of my previous journey. I'll take my time and enjoy every little moment and distraction along the way, instead of rushing on ahead as fast as I can, ignoring everything in my path." She gave a decisive nod, her hand closing into a fist. "And when I come back to claim the title of Champion, it will be on my own terms."

There was silence when she finished speaking. She could feel Barry's wide stare on her, and even Volkner seemed somewhat impressed by her words. Cynthia's face, however… there was something oddly controlled about her expression. A tightness to her lips and cheeks. It almost looked like shame.

"I see…" whispered Cynthia. "That is entirely reasonable. I promise I will do everything in my power to secure a future in which you can accomplish that goal."

After a few seconds, Volkner gave a vague nod, his gaze down on the floor.

"…I can dig that," he said. "Battling for the love of it, huh? There is something to that."

"I… wish I could be that sure of myself, ha," smiled Barry. "But yeah… you're right. We'll have time to figure things out later, and now… it doesn't matter if this battle is pointless, if we're gonna get the badge whether we win or not! We're still trainers, and that means that when our eyes meet, we fight!"

Inyssa shot him a loving smile. If she'd been able to take hold of his hand, she'd have done it. "Couldn't have said it better myself. Now, you two geezers ready?" she asked, glaring at their opponents. "We'll show you what this new generation of trainers is capable of."

Volkner, hand in his pocket, and Cynthia, arms folded, exchanged a quick look and a smile before taking a step back as they opened their Pokeballs in unison, the shared burst of light making the already well-lit room pale in comparison. What emerged as the glow disappeared were two creatures that sent nervous, yet excited shivers down Inyssa and Barry's spines.

The large, brute-looking Electivire and the lithe, beautiful Alolan Ninetales stared them down, immense power exuding out of their bodies.

"Been a while since I felt the need to go all out," smiled Volkner, a hungry look on his face. "Try to last more than a couple minutes before losing, alright?"

"It was the eve of winter when we last fought, that morning of the Festival of Spirit," said Cynthia. "You fell against this very Pokemon, yet later on succeeded in saving my life and that of countless others, winning a battle I was not able to. I want you to show me that boundless determination again; fight as though your lives depend on it!"

She threw her hand forward, and her next command echoed throughout the walls of the gym with the force of a storm.

"Inyssa Dawn, Barry Paladino, succeed where before you fell short!" she ordered. "Show me what you're truly made of!"

The trainers' yells echoed with the same strength as they threw their Pokeballs up in the air.

"Yes ma'am!"