“No need for the glum faces, girls. We’ve almost arrived! The second you see her you’ll be blown so far back I’ll have to fish you out of the brine! Gya ha ha!” cackled Captain Kastel.

“You said that ten minutes ago . . .” I muttered.

“Actually, it was fifteen,” said Sherri.

“Even worse!”

The three of us had been wandering around Balistag’s docks for the better part of an hour as we trekked to the captain’s vessel. He’d tried over and over to get us to guess which ship was his, but after the ninth round we both got frustrated, stomped our feet, and demanded he take us to his stupid boat already. That stupid boat comment seemed to break his salty little heart, as he was silent for a long while after that. Admittedly it was a little harsh since a sailor’s ship is his pride and joy and all, but it was his own fault for being so annoying about it!

Anyway, we’d spent the better part of an hour pushing past smelly sailors, overladen pack animals, crates of expensive trade goods, and wide-eyed tourists before we finally reached our goal. Every minute that passed made my nerves twist into a tighter and tighter knot as the thought of Priss smugly getting a head start on the race flashed in my mind. I could already hear her chortling away on the deck of whatever gaudy ship she owned saying, “Oh? What’s that? You haven’t even set off yet? What a poor display, Darni Voker! I guess I’ll be the one reaching the Prism Palace first! Bye bye now!”

I grit my teeth and raised my fists. I’d show her! We’d sail rings around her! We’d reach the palace and return before she even had time to write her victory speech! Suddenly Captain Kastel stopped and turned to the side.

“Here she is, girls! The finest vessel to ever grace these docks!” He exclaimed with a wide wave of his arms.

“This had better be worth the—” I said before my jaw fell slack. I gazed up at the ship and took a step back, then another, and before I knew it Captain Kastel was grabbing me by the arm to keep me from falling backwards into the brine. A quick glance told me that he’d grabbed Sherri too, as she was equally amazed at the sight that expanded before us.

“Told you,” said Captain Kastel with a smile. “And before you ask, she’s called The Escallion.”

If only I had some paintings or sketches of this thing to show you! It was such a sight, such a beautiful piece of craftsmanship that words alone can barely do it justice! And this is coming from someone who doesn’t even care about boats!

To start with, it was a huge, long, proud vessel painted a blinding white with rich blue trim lining its edges. Beneath the long pointy part at the front, and you know the part I mean, was a beautiful silver figurehead of Seren with all four of her wings extended to their full size. Having seen her in person I can tell you that some of the finer details were incorrect, but I can’t fault the sculptor for that. All along its sides, which were armored with thin metal plates, were square metal flaps that I assumed swung open when they wanted to fire the ballistae. On top of the ship, about three-quarters down its length, was a sleek, sloping building with a tall panoramic window on its front side. I could see a few figures moving around within, but they were too far away to make out. This stuff on its own made The Escallion stand out from the ships around it, but the real unique part came from the sails.

“A-Are those wings?” asked Sherri. She was squinting at the ship like she didn’t understand what she was looking at and took a few steps closer. “No, they’re sails!” she added with a gasp.

That’s right! The Escallion didn’t have a boring line of square sails on top like normal ships! No, it had four huge canvas wings hanging from its sides! The ones in front were bigger than the ones in the back, but even those smaller ones dwarfed the largest sails on the vessels around it. I’d thought the captain was exaggerating when he said his ship sailed through the air after getting flung from that whirlpool, but with sails like that I was really beginning to believe!

I turned away from the ship and grinned evilly. Sails that big meant it could catch a lot of wind, and being able to catch a lot of wind meant it could zip past Priss and reach the palace at lightning speed! Our victory was all but certain!

CLAP CLAP

“I’m glad you’re both impressed!” said Captain Kastel with a clap of his hands. “But we’ve got little time to waste! Come aboard and I’ll give you the tour before we set off.” He pulled a little whistle from his pocket and blew into it with an ear-splitting TWEET. A moment later a rope ladder came flying over The Escallion’s edge and clattered against the dock’s wood surface. He grabbed one of the rungs and tugged on it a couple of times to make sure it was secure. “I’m sure you girls don’t want an old seadog like me looking up your skirts, so I’ll head up first.”

Sherri grabbed her tunic’s skirt and pulled it down around her thighs. “W-Why are you even thinking about that?” she cried.

“Yeah!” I said. I put my hands on my hips and stomped forward. “You wouldn’t bring that up unless you’d thought about doing it!” I said.

The captain froze a few rungs up the ladder and turned around so he was hanging by one arm. “Now listen here, I’m a respectable fellow! If I’m going to be looking up a skirt it’s going to be one worn by a woman with a bit more vavoom than you two!”

“What!” I said. I pointed at him and stomped my foot. “I have plenty of vavoom!”

“And I have even more than Darni!” added Sherri with a puff of her chest.

“You didn’t have to bring that up,” I said with a sidelong glance. She stuck out her tongue and winked at me like it would ward off my annoyance. Yes, it’s true that Sherri is a little more vavoom than I am in a couple of ways, but I’m still prettier than her! Vavoom isn’t a woman’s only quality you know!

“Calm down, both of you. I was just bein’ considerate is all,” said Captain Kastel as if to diffuse the situation. “You’ve each got your charms. One of you is spunky, the other is cutesy, and I’m sure you’ll both will be popular with the lads when you come aboard! Now hurry along, we’ve got a tour to get through!”

We looked at each other for a moment, then both smiled and followed him up the ladder and onto the ship’s deck. I wasn’t looking for romance or anything, but the thought of having a bunch of people fawn over me did sound nice. I passed over the last rung and vaulted over the ship’s ornately carved railing, but the instant my foot clacked against the sun-dried wood of the deck I knew that something was amiss. My knees wobbled and my eyes swam in my skull like goldfish in a bowl. My stomach clenched and burned like some invisible demon had clutched it in his infernal grasp. I stood there for a moment breathing heavily, then finally managed to suppress the terrible feeling and trudge on. I may have failed to mention this to anyone before accepting the race, but I’d never been on any sort of boat before. Not a ferry, not a canoe, not even a raft.

“That thing over there is what we call the command tower,” said Captain Kastel with a dynamic point to the side. I meekly followed his finger and saw he was talking about the big sloping thing in the center of the deck. “That room on top is the bridge, and that’s where we helm, navigate, and give the orders to the rest of the crew. Follow me. I’ll show you firsthand.”

“Gotcha . . .” I mumbled. I rubbed my temples and took a shaky step forward. The bobbing of the ship made it feel like the whole world was warping and wiggling around me.

The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

“Are you okay, Darni? You’re looking a little green . . .” said Sherri. She leaned in to inspect me, but I quickly turned away and feigned a laugh.

“J-Just getting a little anxious now that we’re so close to starting the race! Haha!” I said. I put my hands on my hips and nodded vigorously, but that just made my already-light head feel like it was floating away.

From there we marched across the deck gawking at the ropes, rigging, crates, and busy sailors as they buzzed around in preparation for our departure. They were trying to hide it, but each and every one of them was taking peeks at Sherri and me when they thought we weren’t looking. One, a dark-haired young man with a bit of a slouch, was so enamored with Sherri that he stumbled over a big anchor and sent a big jug of fresh water splashing all over another sailor. I guess they weren’t used to seeing such pretty girls come strolling through their turf. I guess it also didn’t help that Sherri was absentmindedly flipping her hair and tugging on the chest of her tunic every ten seconds due to the humidity.

“Will you barnacle-brains get your jaws off the floor and get back to work?” shouted Captain Kastel. “Next one of you I see slacking is getting a visit from Jedda!” The sailors all froze, saluted, and ran around like excited ants in an effort to pick up their own slack.

“Say, are there any women on this boat?” I asked. “It’ll be a little weird if we’re the only girls around here.” I jeered sidelong at a stocky sailor who was tying up a bundle of planks. He probably didn’t realize I’d already caught him trying to get a low-angle view of me as we passed. I’d have chucked a rock at him if I had one. Maybe two.

“There are in fact,” said Captain Kastel. “And you’re about to meet three of them. Follow me.”

We continued on to the command tower and entered a wood door on its right side. The interior was wood-paneled and featureless save for a single rug-carpeted stairwell leading up to the bridge. Normally I’d have bolted up without trouble, but my stomach and head were both fighting me so hard that even Bravesreign couldn’t help me beat them. I braced against the wall and grit my teeth, and eventually, with unending determination and unmatched grit, trudged my way to a broad landing at the top. A pair of ornately carved double doors with the word Escallion carved across their middles stood in front of us.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” asked Sherri.

“Y-Yeah, just fine . . .” I said. She frowned at me with eyes that said I know you’re not fine, Darni, but she dropped the topic otherwise. In response, I leaned against the railing and took a few deep breaths. “So, this is the bridge, right?”

“That’s what I said, isn’t it?” said Captain Kastel with a smile. He flung the doors open and flooded the stairwell with blinding sunlight. “Captain on the bridge! Look alive everyone, we’ve got guests!” The three of us then stepped inside.

The Escallion’s bridge was smaller than I expected. A big fancy padded chair, which was obviously Captain Kastel’s, was in the dead center on a big swiveling mount so he could turn it whichever way he liked. In front of the chair, slightly to the left, was a large metal steering wheel. A woman with long messy black hair dressed in an ankle-length brown skirt and a frilly white shirt was sitting on a stool next to it reading a little blue book intently. She had pale skin, big, pupilless blue eyes that glowed like lanterns, and a pair of incredibly long pointed ears with three little fronds at the end. The hallmark features of an Erudithian.

I tapped the captain on the arm and got him to lean down so I could whisper into his ear. “How did you get an Erudithian to join your crew?” I asked. I don’t know if it was just on principle, but they rarely involved themselves in the more mundane aspects of human society. If you saw one, they’d usually be a scholar or a priest or a musician or something, not the helmswoman on some boat.

“That’s a good question,” said Captain Kastel with a smile. “And the answer is that I didn’t do anything! She just showed up some years ago with one of my recruitment fliers in hand.” He stood up and adjusted his cap. “What’s the state of the rudders, Nard? I remember Olfrey told me the left one was sticking.”

The Erudithian woman, Nard (which I later learned was short for Nardustata), looked up from her book and gave him a quick thumbs-up before returning to her reading. She didn’t seem to notice that Sherri and I were even in the room.

On the left side of the bridge was a big rectangular table dominated by a huge map of Serente’s coast and the surrounding seas. Little wooden figures of boats, people’s heads, and various menacing sea creatures were scattered across its surface, probably to mark where they were currently in the real world. Against the wall was a set of messy shelves containing maps, more wood figures, compasses, a thermometer, and a bunch of other brassy tools I didn’t know the names of.

A tall, pretty woman with fluffy pink hair was leaning over the table pushing the wood figures around with a long stick as she checked a densely-written journal over and over. She was wearing tight blue pants that had the left leg cut off, a blue and white striped shirt she’d tied so that her stomach was revealed, and a blue bandana. Captain Kastel walked up to her table and placed his hand on the edge, and that snapped her out of her work. She looked up at him, revealing that her face was dotted with freckles.

“Do you need something, Captain?” she asked. “I’m a little busy get— who are those two?” She pointed at Sherri and me with her stick and waved it side to side. “Oh no, don’t tell me . . .!”

“That’s right Ufie, we’ve got guests!” said Captain Kastel with a wide grin. “This one is Darni, and that one is Sherri. They’ll be coming with us to the Prism Palace!”

“Ah! I’d have prettied myself up if I knew you were bringing new girls aboard!” said Ufie. She hid her face and turned away, then peeked at us from between her fingers. “Geez, and they’re cute too . . . I’m going to lose my monopoly on everyone’s hearts . . .”

“My name is Sherri Hanefeltz. Thank you for having us aboard,” said Sherri with a quick curtsy. Was that what we were doing? Introductions?

“Darni Voker, nice to meet you,” I said feebly. I was putting on a brave face, but I still felt like I was going to fall over.

Ufie rushed around the edge of the table, knocking a few wood figures and scraps of paper off its edge, and grabbed both of our hands. “No need to be so formal! I’m Ufie, The Escallion’s one and only navigator. If either of you have any problems with anything or anyone, come right to me, okay? I might not be the captain but—” she leaned in close and dropped her voice, “I’m a little better at getting things done, if you know what I mean.” Her eyes went wild and her teeth seemed to sharpen. “I can make people disappear, make things pop out of thin air! If anyone says anything to you just let me know and I’ll have them greased up and—!”

“Ahem! I believe that’s enough Ufie!” said Captain Kastel.

Ufie giggled cutely and retreated back to the other side of her table. “Sorry Captain! You know how excited I get!” she said.

“Yes, I’m all too familiar,” sighed Captain Kastel. He turned on his heel to face the other side of the room. “Jedda, please come introduce yourself.”

“Little busy right now,” came a voice from across the room. “I’ve got multiple crewmen requesting to go ashore to purchase flowers. Got any idea what that’s about?”

“I think I might have an inkling,” said Captain Kastel with a grin. He turned to wink at us, then waltzed across the bridge. “Darni, Sherri, come along now. If she can’t come to us, we’ll come to her!”

“I said I’m busy . . .” muttered the voice. A swiveling chair on the other side of the deck whirled around, revealing the speaker.

It was a tan woman with sharp green eyes. She was wearing a pair of white shorts, a cropped blue and white striped shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and armored pads on her elbows. On her head was a cap just like Captain Kastel’s, but smaller and with less ornamentation, and on her hands were a pair of blue fingerless gloves with buckles on the back. Her hair was short, blonde, and had bangs that covered her right eye. She was visibly muscular and had an expression that screamed “Why are you doing this to me, captain.”

Behind her was a big desk surrounded by numerous flared pipes that rose from the floor around it and curved up onto its top. Captain Kastel later explained to me that the pipes extended all over the ship and could carry her voice just about anywhere. This also meant that anyone could send her a message at any time for any reason, which they often did. A myriad of ledgers, notes, and memos littered the desk’s free space, and on the wall behind the desk was a small bulletin board with more hastily written notes pinned to its surface. The woman stood up and saluted.

“First Mate Jedda, pleasure to meet you,” she said reluctantly. “I heard your introductions when you were talking to Ufie, so there’s no need to repeat them.” She dropped her salute and flopped back down in her chair. “Welcome aboard, and please try not to break anything, okay?” She motioned to the papers on her desk. “I’ve got enough to deal with as is.”

“I won’t break anything unless I have to,” I mumbled.

“I’m sorry if either of us cause any problems . . .” said Sherri.

“Don’t be so stiff with them, Jedda,” said Captain Kastel. “They’re a couple of fine young lasses and I assure you they’ll be on their best behavior! Gya ha ha ha!”

WHAP

Captain Kastel thumped both of us on the back playfully. He didn’t hit us that hard, but was just enough to finally send me over the edge. My knees gave out, my head floated up to join the moons, and my stomach did so many flips that a circus performer would blush with envy. I fell to the ground in a limp pile, and the last thing I remember seeing before I passed out was Sherri kneeling over me calling my name.