SCHWING SWOOSH CLANG

Priss and I locked blades and pressed against each other like a pair of enraged sabertrunk elephants battling for supremacy. There was burning, indignant rage in her eyes and her already cartoonish frown had grown even deeper. She must have realized that no matter how fancy her axe was, it would never be a match for Bravesreign!

“It seems you weren’t all hot air after all, Darni Voker!” she hissed through grit teeth.

“Wish I could say the same to you, Priss!” I said. I jumped back and pointed at her sidelong. “Why can’t get it over with and apologize already?”

“Hmph! Like I would ever apologize to the likes of you, and my name is Priscillanna, you ignoramus!” she said with a flip of her shiny blonde hair.

“Who are you calling an ignoramus, you blue-eyed blockhead!” I snapped. She had some kind of nerve insulting me to my face like that! I’m the smartest person I know!

“Yeah, don’t insult Darni’s brains! She’s a lot smarter than she looks!” said Sherri through a mouthful of half-chewed lettuce.

I turned on my heel to give her an angry retort, but the kitchen door suddenly swung open with a reverberating BANG. The rotund tavern matron, red-faced and livid, stomped out with her hands on her hips. She scanned the area, huffed dramatically, and pointed to the door with such practiced precision that it made me feel like she’d done it hundreds of times before.

“If you girls are going to fight, do it in the street! I’m trying to run a respectable business here!” she yelled.

“None of this is my fault! Its hers!” I said. I pointed at Priss and shook my arm around for emphasis. “She’s the one that couldn’t keep her mouth shut!”

“It’s my fault? Are you daft!?” said Priss. She slung her axe over her shoulder and pointed right back at me. “You’re the one that started all this! If anything, you should be barred from all of Balistag for your brutishness!”

“I don’t care who started it!” said the matron with a stomp of her foot. “Both of you, out! Don’t make me toss you through that door myself!”

Both Priss and I bowed our heads and apologized reluctantly, then rushed outside, bumping and shoving each other as we scrambled through the door at the same time. We burst out into the lively street and raised our weapons again. A moment later, Sherri came strolling out of the tavern with her barrel and my plate in hand.

“Don’t forget your sandwich, Darni! We already paid for it!” she called.

“Hey, Boss! We got the bill for your meal!” yelled Tuet and Clance in unison through a window.

“Clance you oaf, you destroyed half of it trying to look menacing! You pay for it!” barked Priss.

By now, you’re probably wondering who Priss is, who Tuet and Clance are, where we were, and why we were fighting. To answer those questions and all the others that I’m sure are burning in your mind, I’ll have to dial back just a few minutes to when it all started.

First off, Sherri and I decided to head even further south after our adventure in Valas Valley. There wasn’t any particular place we were trying to get to, but Sherri mentioned that she wanted to see the sea again, so down towards the coast we went. The next thing you should know is that we were in a port town called Balistag. It’s located at the southernmost tip of Serente, Zaftia’s southwestern province, just past the Parkarl mountains.

Balistag was a port town built on a huge, rocky slope that was comprised of five wide terraces connected by stairways and long, curved ramps. As you can guess, the expensive stuff for rich people was up on the top terrace, while the warehouses, mills, and other such grungy industries were down on the bottom. Jutting out from the lowest terrace, right next to the sea, was a mess of docks where ships of all shapes and sizes were moored. Most of them were boxy trading vessels loading and unloading their cargo, but a few of them looked to be sharp-sailed privateers awaiting their next assignment. Of the ships docked that day, the most impressive was a big red galleon with ornate gold plating on the sides.

The buildings in Balistag were generally low, built of wood and brick, and painted a variety of reds, browns, and oranges. Every street was laid with zig-zagging white bricks, most of which had cracked or chipped from heavy use. Sailors, travelers, and the town’s own citizens could be seen going in and out of businesses, exchanging how-do-you-dos, sharing in simple revelry, or just standing around taking in the refreshing sea breeze. In short, it was the relaxed seaside town that every landlocked soul dreams of visiting. It was up on the third terrace, which was pretty much the dedicated tourist trap, that Sherri and I found ourselves.

It was cool, cloud-speckled, and a little past noon. We’d spent most of the morning wandering around looking in windows at things we didn’t intend to buy, but by that time our stomachs were growling so loudly two different people had mistaken them for stray hounds. As such, we lowered our heads and ducked into a small tavern called Milligan’s Retreat before it happened a third time.

Milligan’s Retreat was a small, cozy little place nestled between two other eateries that seemed to compete with it for business. It was a plain, but functional place that screamed local hangout. It had sanded wooden chairs, round tables with white clothes, big rugs all over the floor to catch the dirt and grime, and pillars supporting the sloped roof. The most interesting things to see were the worn weapons, maps, and mounted beast heads that lined the rough brick walls. Really gave off the impression that Milligan, whoever they were, had been a well-traveled adventurer in the past. After some short deliberation, we picked a table near the front windows since we both liked to watch people walk by.

“What’ll you two be havin?” asked the heavyset matron. She was wearing a thick brown apron over a grease-flecked yellow dress.

“I’ll take the, uh, Milligan’s Special Steak Sandwich,” I said with a smile.

“Can I get a, um, ‘big barrel o’ greens’ with extra chicken and croutons? Oh, and glasses of water for both of us,” asked Sherri. She reached into the pocket of her tunic and fished out her overladen coin purse.

“You can get whatever ya’ want sweetie, if you’ve got the kinos for it that is,” said the matron. Once Sherri had paid her, she took our menus, which were handwritten on thick pieces of canvas, and disappeared into the kitchen.

All around us travelers and sailors were happily chomping away on their meals, telling stories, and laughing at their own unfunny jokes. Sitting next to us was a group of boys that were shooting dice for bets of a few kinos, and on the other side of the tavern was a grumpy-looking girl about my age sitting between two uniformed men. Her table had a velvety red cloth thrown over it and there was a veritable feast laid out in front of her. It was easy to tell she was someone important since she was getting such royal treatment.

In the back corner, as far from the windows as possible, was a grizzled sailor sitting on an old crate. He wore a pair of long white trousers with big black boots and a pair of black leather gloves with the fingers cut off. He was shirtless, but had a fancy blue captain’s coat with brass buttons and epaulets draped over his shoulders like a cape. On his head, he wore a big naval cap that cast a shadow over his eyes. He had a mess of shaggy black hair with prominent sideburns, a bushy moustache, and thick stubble that would be a beard by tomorrow morning. The reason he caught my eye is because of how animatedly he was telling a story to a flock of younger sailors who were kneeling around him.

“There I was one stormy morning on a return voyage from the Escaido Isles,” he said with a wide wave of his arms. “The rain was falling so sideways it must have been coming from the waves themselves. The winds were blowing so fierce that any man who wasn’t battened down went tumbling into the drink. And the lightning, oh the lightning! It was bursting from the clouds and smiting the seas like Opposto’s very flaming stones! If it hadn’t been for the drinks I’d guzzled the previous night, I might’ve lost my wits and thought it was the end of days!” He paused for effect and let murmurs build. “What’s worse is that my ship, the very same girl I captain today, had gotten caught in a whirlpool so broad and so fathomless it could swallow all of Balistag before you had time cry for your mother!”

The younger sailors all listened with rapt attention, and I could feel myself getting drawn in as well. The sailor stood up and loomed over the audience before him.

“We were thrown round and round and round the whirlpool’s edge, and just as I thought the ship was about to capsize and send us down into the depths to see Seren, I saw it! There, in the center of it all, as pristine and pure as the heart of a maiden, was an inverted palace made entirely of aquamarine! Imagine my disbelief, the overwhelming awe I felt at the sight! Oh, I shivered in my boots and shook so bad my hat fell to my feet, but once my wits had returned and my blood started pumping, I felt something I hadn’t felt since my days stowing away as a lad!”

He jumped up onto the crate and held his fist to the sky.

“It was the burning passion of youth! The call of adventure! After so many years of wandering the waves, I had finally stumbled across it, the fabled Prism Palace!”

“The Prism Palace?” I repeated to myself.

“The Prism Palace?” asked Sherri.

I’d read about The Prism Palace once in the royal archives, but there wasn’t much information on it. According to the books, it was a huge structure sighted infrequently in the seas south of Zaftia that no explorer had ever managed to reach. The scholars deemed it a mirage or a hallucination, but I didn’t buy it one bit. If so many sailors over the years had claimed to see it, it had to be real!

I clenched and unclenched my fists excitedly as the thought of exploring such a mythical place ran through my mind. Such a mysterious and phantasmal palace was bound to have countless mystical treasures in it! Maybe it was the hideout of some unbelievably powerful invoker, or possibly a vault where some ancient sea king had locked away his riches, or it could even be the place where Loros hid the key to awakening Bravesreign!

Just then the matron came bursting out of the kitchen with our food in tow. For me was a thick beefalo steak sandwich with savory white cheese, crunchy lettuce, and a fried egg all slathered in seasoned orange remoulade. Sherri’s “barrel o’ greens” was exactly what it sounded like, a small barrel stuffed with a hearty, dressing-drenched salad that looked to have more grilled chicken and croutons than lettuce. I lifted my sandwich and took a hungry bite. I could go on and on about how it was like a nourishing oasis in the desert that was my stomach, but I’ll save you the boredom and just say it was really good and filling.

I looked back over at the sailor and saw that he taking another dramatic pause in his story. The younger sailors were all whispering to each other excitedly and beaming with spirit.

The grizzled sailor cleared his throat and said, “It was such a beautiful, untarnished sight! So dazzling and resplendent in fact that its memory is burned into my eyes forevermore!” He looked up to the rafters wistfully for a moment. “But alas, it vanished just as quickly as it appeared. My vessel, the sturdy girl, was tossed from the whirlpool and flung westward straight over the horizon. We soared through the sky through the sky like a great wooden falcon and splashed down so mightily that it rained for two days and two nights afterwards! Once we’d gotten her all shored up and fit to sail, we returned east to try and catch another glimpse of the palace’s beauty, but never again did we lay eyes on it . . .”

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The sailor hung his head, his cap obscuring his face, and sat down with his hands hanging between his knees. Everyone in the tavern, Sherri and myself included, lowered our heads in solidarity.

Suddenly an annoying, high-pitched voice rang out from across the tavern.

“What a load of absolute hogwash! A crystal palace floating above a whirlpool? A ship flying through the air like a bird? I’ve never heard a more outrageous tale in all my life!” I turned in my chair and watched as the grumpy girl stood up from her chair. “If you continue to interrupt my meal with your ludicrous claims, I’ll have my men remove you from this establishment!”

She was wearing a tight-fitting scarlet romper with long sleeves and puffy shoulders. Beneath the romper, she was wearing a pair of shiny black tights, and her feet she wore red knee-high boots with small, flat heels. Her forearms were covered by round bronze bracers, and her chest by a small bronze breastplate that wrapped around her back. Her blonde hair was styled into two large swirls that tapered to a point and looked like mining drills. On top of her head, a few long strands stuck out and bobbed up and down as she moved. Lastly, she had huge blue eyes and bushy eyebrows that were permanently slanted with annoyance.

One look at her and I knew were weren’t going to get along. She was just the kind of spoiled, loudmouthed noble girl who would never get it through her thick skull that other people had feelings. I knew would be a bad idea to get involved, but rude, condescending people like her get under my skin like nothing else! Who was she to be putting the kibosh on everyone’s fun? My fun? I set down my sandwich and stood up in a huff.

“Who do you think you are, barking orders at people like a queen?” I said. I put my hands on my hips and frowned. “Your meal isn’t any more special than anyone else’s!”

“Wha— and who are you supposed to be?” she asked. She glared at me for a quick second, then raised her hand before I could respond. “No, actually, I don’t care. I’d know who you were if you were anyone worth knowing.” She raised her nose and turned her head away. “I will not waste my time with common girls that don’t know their place. Tuet,” she glanced at the man sitting to her right, “please escort this uncouth girl from the premises.”

“Right-O, Boss,” said Tuet languidly. He rose from his seat and stretched his arms. He was a tall, vaguely muscular man wearing a fitted red uniform composed of a short button-up jacket, long, high-waisted trousers, and white dress shoes. On top of his neat orange hair was a red cavalier hat with a big letter T stitched onto the side. He had piercing yellow eyes that could make a girl swoon, and at his hip was a plain short sword in an embroidered scabbard. I assumed he was working for a paycheck rather than loyalty since he didn’t seem too enthusiastic to toss me out.

As Tuet strutted forward, the girl turned to the other man and said, “Clance, fetch my axe just in case. This one seems like a fighter.”

“Already on it, Boss!” said Clance with a smirk. He was a stout man, short and wide, with a round face and a big nose. He was dressed and armed the same as Tuet, but his hair was muddy brown and his cavalier hat had a C stitched onto it instead of a T. His eyes weren’t as pretty as Tuet’s either, being an oddly dull green.

He grinned ear to ear and slammed his arm down in the middle of the table in front of him, then slid it to the edge sending cups, plates, and bowls crashing to the floor. The girl looked at the pile of wasted food with disgust but didn’t say anything. Clance reached behind himself and heaved a huge wooden case up onto the table. He undid its four metal latches, then opened it up and pulled out an incredibly shiny battle axe with a giant golden head and a long, sturdy shaft.

Tuet stepped closer and held his arms out in front of himself. “Let me tell you this up front, miss, it’d be in your best interest to leave of your own accord. I don’t like doing it, but I’m willing to rough up a little thing like yourself if The Boss orders it,” he said with a wink. “So why don’t you just saunter through those doors and wait for me outside? I’ll treat you to a real nice meal once we’re all done here.”

I crossed my arms and scowled at him. I was not about to leave just become some crony asked me to. Him being a crony was a shame too, because, with his chiseled features and stature, I could imagine him being a real handsome knight. And did he really think I could be bought off with a meal? Sherri maybe, but not me!

“I’m not going anywhere until she apologizes to everyone for being such a jerk,” I hissed.

“Do you need any help?” asked Sherri through a mouthful of chicken and lettuce. She was still stuffing her cheeks and hadn’t moved an inch.

“No, I’ll be fine,” I said over my shoulder.

Tuet shuffled closer. He towered over me like Mount Urgan and looked down with a weary smile. “Sorry, but orders are orders!” he said. He grabbed me by the shoulders, but instantly retreated after I glared straight into his eyes. He took a half step back, then grabbed me by the biceps, but another glare made him let go.

“That’s quite the menacing look you’ve got there . . . but this time I’ve got you!” he said, seemingly to steel his own resolve. He grabbed me by the sides and lifted me high over his head. “I’d still like to treat you to lunch since you’re such a pretty little thing, but we’ll have to discuss the details outside!”

THUMP

I kicked him in the stomach and landed with a light clack when he released me so he could clutch his stomach. “Thanks for the compliment,” I said, “but that’s no way to ask for a date!”

Tuet turned on his heel to face his comrades and wiped a tear from the corner of his eyes. “I-I don’t think she’s going to move, Boss,” he said between winces.

“You just figured that out?” I said.

“Gya ha ha! Looks like the lass has him beat!” said the grizzled sailor from the corner. The other sailors around him laughed as well.

Tuet blushed and said, “She does not! I just— didn’t get a chance to warm up this morning!” before making his way back over to the other two.

The grumpy girl stepped forward, her big axe in hand, and said, “Normally I wouldn’t bother with such a trite conflict, as wasting my energy on a brute like you is unbecoming, but you’ve embarrassed one of my men. As their leader, I cannot let this stand!” She raised her axe over her shoulder. “I am Priscillanna Afinsheer! You would do well to remember me!”

“Do you need help now?” asked Sherri.

“No, I think I can handle her,” I said happily. People like her tended to have a stronger bark than bite.

I stepped forward and drew Bravesreign from my back. It’d been a bit since I’d gotten to do some real sword swinging, so the challenge was more than welcome. The other tavern patrons all scattered and pressed against the walls, except for the grizzled sailor that is. He stood there, his eyes glinting beneath his cap, and smiled ear to ear.

“Well I’m Darni Voker, and I’m going to smack some manners into you!” I said.

“I’d like to see you try!” shouted Priss. I decided to call her that because her actual name is way too long to recount over and over.

SWOOSH

She lunged at me with a heavy chop of her axe, but I deflected it away deftly and brought Bravesreign against her side. I stopped just short of landing the blow and said, “I win,” with a smile.

“T-That was a fluke!” she sputtered. She jumped back and rushed at me again. “I’ll cleave you in twain!”

SWOOSH SWOOSH CRASH

I jumped to the side and watched as our table was cleaved in half by Priss’ axe. Sherri expertly snatched my plate as it spun through the air and set it on the next table over, the one where the boys had been gambling. She herself scurried over and sat down next to it while still stuffing her face with crunchy lettuce.

Priss tugged on her axe until the wooden floor released it and charged at me with a grunt. I dodged a few more angered swings, then ducked beneath a mighty roundslash that came from the right. Her axe dug into a wooden beam in the center of the tavern and made the rafters shake so hard I feared the roof would come down. She yanked her axe free and growled before noticing I was holding Bravesreign’s tip at her chest. I’d honestly hoped she’d be more of a challenge, but I guess it was all bluster in the end.

“Is that all you’ve got? I was expecting more after all yapping you did,” I said. I tapped her breastplate with Bravesreign’s tip, then drew it back before she could do something stupid and hurt herself.

“How dare you speak to me like that!” shouted Priss. She stomped forward with her axe raised and swung wildly from side to side.

And this is where the flashback ends. As I said before, Priss and I got thrown out because of our fighting and took it outside into the sunshine. Since I already told you about it, I’ll just skip the part you already know and continue on from there.

Priss and I circled each other, neither of us wanting to make the first move. The tavern’s patrons as well as some passersby had formed a small crowd that blocked either side of the street. I could see the customers and staff from shops on the other side of the street pressed against the windows and gawking as well. I hadn’t intended to create such a spectacle, but I wasn’t about to turn down the attention. The more people that saw me put Priss in her place, the better!

“I’ve got you!” shouted Priss as she lunged forward. Her axe swept low and scraped the ground, sending a spray of sparks into the crowd. If she had been faster, it may have been a threat, but with her slow swinging speed I’d have to be sleeping to get hit. Though, to be honest, I could probably have dodged it in my sleep anyway.

I jumped over the strike and brought Bravesreign against her side lightly. “That’s three-nothing, Priss. Why don’t you give up before you embarrass yourself any further?” I said with a smug smile. The crowd was silent for a moment, then exploded in cheers.

She sputtered with frustration and dropped her axe with a clatter. Her face turned redder than her romper and her eyes looked like they were going to pop out of her skull. “I will never give up so long as I live, Darni Voker! You have shamed me this day, and for that I must make you pay!” she barked.

I slung Bravesreign over my shoulder and leaned closer. “And how do you plan to do that? We could fight some more, but it’s just going to go down the same way!”

At that point I was getting a little sick of her. All she had to do to make me go away was get down on her knees, put her head to the ground, and apologize to everyone. Was that too much too much to ask?

“I—I’ll . . .” she crossed her arms and looked over to Tuet and Clance, who were now squatting in front of the tavern eating handfuls of peanuts. Clance looked up and noticed her distress, then tapped on the side of his head with his index finger. Priss stared at him blankly for a minute, then brought her fist down in her open palm like she’d had a revelation. “We’ll compete in a more civilized way! It’s obvious that I can’t defeat a meat-headed ogress like you in a test of strength, so let’s see how you do in a battle of wits!”

Ogress? Ogress!? Who was she calling an ogress!? She’s the one that started screaming and grunting and swinging her axe around like a maniac! I, on the other hand, was gallantly fighting to protect the peace and sanctity of the common tavern goer! I clenched my fist and felt myself vibrate with frustration. I felt like a kettle on the verge of firing steam from its spout. One more provocation and I’d give her a state of my fist!

I pointed at her and said, “You’re on, I’ll stomp you any way you want!”

“Just one moment, ladies,” came a deep voice from the side. I turned and saw the grizzled sailor from earlier, a huge grin on his face, march out of the tavern and into the street. The crowd gasped, and soon there was a spate of excited murmurs. “I have a far more thrilling competition in mind! One that’ll have a much grander payout than some petty pride! One that’ll be sure to light the fire in souls and bring out your very best!”

“And what exactly do you have in mind, sailor?” asked Priss. Her eyes were slanted in annoyance like she was ready to strangle the man for interrupting our battle.

“I propose . . .” he scanned over the crowd silently and grinned as he watched the anticipation build, “a race!”

“A race?” I asked.

“A fantastic race! The magnificent race between two girls burning with the flames of youth!” he said. “Listen up, because I’m only explaining this once. The two of you will hop on boats and head southwest until you reach Ophiel’s rock, then you’ll head south by southwest, halfway to the Escaido Isles, and search for the Prism Palace. First one to reach it wins! If neither of you can do it, then we’ll call it a draw, no ifs, ands, or buts!”

Priss scowled and looked to the side. “Are you insane? The Prism Palace an old seadog’s tale, not a real place! I’m not about to pick myself up and go out on some wild—"

“That’s a great idea! I’m in!” I with a raised thumb. It was two birds with one stone! I’d wanted to check out the Prism Palace anyway, and if I could put Priss in her place at the same time it would be a two-fold victory! As the Voker family rules state, never turn down a free win, no matter how miraculous.

“Does this mean we’re going on another adventure?” asked Sherri from the side. She’d finished her barrel and was sipping on a glass of water while sitting next to Tuet and Clance. The three of them looked like a regular peanut gallery.

I moved my thumb to face her and said, “Looks like it!”

Priss dashed forward and grabbed me by the shoulder. “I haven’t agreed to this yet, Darni Voker,” she said gravely. If I hadn’t been wearing my pauldrons, she probably would have crushed my bones with her gorilla grip. And she called me an ogress.

“Why not? Scared you’re gonna lose?” I said. I tapped her on the forehead and leaned in. “You could just apologize instead.”

She pushed me away and glared at the ground for a while before finally turning to her men and saying, “Tuet! Clance! Ready The Klazmitz! We’re setting out at the crack of dawn tomorrow!”

Tuet spat a mouthful of half-chewed peanuts all over the ground, which made Sherri look away in disgust, and scrambled to his feet. “Are you sure about this, Boss? I don’t think your father is going to happy about it! A-And if he’s not happy, we’re the ones that have to take the beating!”

“Aw, cut it out Tuet,” said Clance as he chewed on more nuts. “We’ll only get our licks if she doesn’t win, so we just gotta make sure that doesn’t happen!” He shrugged and swallowed his snack. “Not like the boss ever loses anyway.”

“Yeah, good point . . .” said Tuet.

“Wait, you three already have a ship?” I asked. “How is that fair!?” I wouldn’t have accepted if I knew that! I was thinking we’d race down the terraces flinging insults and throwing rocks at each other as we scrambled to get boats and set off, but if she already had a whole boat and crew at the ready, I was at a massive disadvantage! I grabbed the sailor by the arm and shook him around. “How am I supposed to compete if she already has a ship!?”

He smiled ear to ear and said, “Don’t worry about that, little lady. You’re riding with me! The name’s Rucas Kastel, greatest sailor in Balistag, but you can call me Captain from now on! Gya ha ha ha!” He threw his head back and cackled to the sky.