> Kira PoV <

We’re walking to another meeting with the king. Apparently it’s not a ‘private affair’ like that banquet after we fought the dragon. This time the entire Royal Court is going to be attending! That’s what his message said anyway.

I’m surprised he managed to gather that lazy bunch of nobles so quickly. I mean he just made that joke of an announcement last night.

Yeah, a joke. It has to be a joke, there’s no way I’m fit for a position like Court Wizard! 

But the rumor mill around the capital is already in full swing! Random strangers in the street were kneeling, saluting and congratulating me! Even the palace guards stood on attention! It’s not even noon yet!

I hope they’re just gathered to give me an official apology for the king’s bad prank.

It was a prank, right? It’s that carefree guy we’re talking about, so it has to be a prank. Please tell me it’s a prank. I don’t know what I’m going to do if it’s not a prank! I’m not cut out for life in the Royal Palace!

The fake smiles and lies and backstabbing and politics and backroom deals and everything else I don’t want to get involved in! I just wanted to provide for my kids, give them a bright future and parents they can look up to! So how did it come to something like this!?

No seriously, how did we get to this? Okay, let’s briefly review the events so far. Let’s start with the important one - Ellie and I got married. Then Nano had to find some boxes that could potentially ruin the world. We found Lara and Sophie along the way. Thus we became one big happy family and things calmed down for a bit. So far so good!

But, due to us being adventurers, we were apart from the kids due to the traveling involved. We could either cut down on the jobs we took, or we could try for a Flight Badge. When the opportunity presented itself, we decided on the latter.

Thus we sent a request for one, came to the capital, and that Rutland guy attacked us. We retaliated, a dragon came out, and out of the dragon a titan came out. Kelly has to do something important, so we built the titan a new body with the help of the arena’s mechanisms. The king saw that and shouted ‘Court Wizard!’ without considering our position.

Okay, so past the dragon appearing, there’s not much we could’ve done, right? Come to think of it, isn’t this all that Rutland guy’s fault? Okay! Let’s be sure to push all the blame onto him! If it wasn’t for that old fart I’m sure we would’ve been back home where it’s nice and peaceful and nobody is trying to kidnap my daughters!

*Knock knock*

Ah, someone knocked on the other side of the double doors! Looks like it’s time for us to enter the grand audience chamber. The heavy doors swing open, we step inside and wait by the door. I see a group of people in official-looking clothing lined up on the side of the chamber. There’s 10 of them, probably various ministers and retainers, so we can’t afford to break etiquette here. Even if the king forgives us, those people will not.

“Introducing Lady Kiressara mil Quasse of Runetap, also known as the [Red Sage] and [Dragonbane]! Leader of adventurer team [Black Flame]!” (Herald)

Oh, they actually let the poor guy finish his line this time! I think I notice a small smile on the herald’s face. He seems oddly happy, considering he just has to stand and shout there all day. No, that noisy king probably cuts him off all the time…

“Accompanied by her wife, Lady Ellie mil Quasse of Runetap, also known as the [Bonesetter] and [Dragonbane]! Member of adventurer team [Black Flame]!” (Herald)

Well, Ellie being here is a given. The message said the king wanted to see both of us, even though I should’ve been alone by all rights. I’m still not happy about that misleading title though.

“Followed by their daughters, Lady Lara mil Quasse and Lady Sophie mil Quasse, formerly of Pororoca, presently of Runetap!” (Herald)

Obviously the kids are with us! I’m not letting them stay alone in this blasted city! Kelly’s too busy keeping that former blockhead and current birdbrain out of trouble! The plan was to wait until after the crowd had gone home before he took over that ice statue! We barely managed to fool those people that it was all part of the act, otherwise we could’ve caused a riot! It's a good thing she was still carrying our Flight Badge at the time so that it could fly away unhindered.

Honestly, if we could get that much clean water and open space without magic elsewhere, I wouldn’t have even bothered with the arena. It was convenient and Ellie seemed oddly motivated to go so I went with it… I don’t regret it that much though.

Since the Herald finished his introductions, we walk slowly across the audience chamber towards where we’re supposed to stand, at the foot of the throne. I just wish we had more notice beforehand, we didn't have any decent dresses with us! We're here in our armor and casual clothes! These aren't fit for an audience with the entire royal court! The king may not mind, but I sure do!

When we reach the royal throne we all go down on one knee. This time the entire royal family is in attendance. The king is there with a goofy expression as expected. Princess Shalia and what I presume to be the queen and the crown prince are sitting on the three, smaller thrones that were vacant during our last visit. All of them have black eyes and hair as expected.

The queen has her hair tied up in a bun and is hiding her lower face with a fan. The crown prince is standing there with a smug look while his arms are crossed. He seems to be in his late teens. His face looks good and might be considered handsome by most, but he’s not my type. After all, nobody can compete with Ellie’s perfect face ~♡! I could stare at it for hours ~♡! If I have a mirror I can stare at both our faces at once ~♡!

Ack! The side-effects of last night’s [Unity] haven’t cleared up yet! Keep it together Kiressara! I may be selfish, but I must not literally fall in love with me! Even though I already did, in a way.

“So. Everyone.” (King Fred)

The king’s brief words snapped me out of my thoughts.

“The red haired one’s Kiressara. She’ll be in your care. Dismissed.” (King Fred)

…

*SLAP*

“Ow!” (King Fred)

The queen just hit the king on the back of his head with her folded fan! She then unfolded it and hid her face again. I only saw her face for a brief moment, but it was definitely an unpleasant scowl. Almost as if she was educating an unruly pet.

“Please forgive my husband. Your Majesty, if you do not properly explain the circumstances, everyone involved would be confused. You don’t want another coup, right?” (Queen)

“Ehhh? But that’s-” (King Fred)

*Glare*

“Urk!” (King Fred)

She cut off his childish complaint instantly with an icy cold glare. His face loses color for a moment before he collects himself. He finally puts on a serious expression! Queen, good job!

“Although it seemed sudden, your appointment as Court Wizard has been something I’ve been thinking about long before the recent incident with the Elder Dragon.” (King Fred)

He’s actually planned this out? Come to think of it, if he was really as impulsive as he seems, then this country would be done for. He turns to the ministers gathered there.

“The Ministry of Information has been keeping track of Lady Quasse ever since her graduation from the Magic Academy, by order of the Crown. Her name was on a list of possible Court Wizard candidates. Through several interviews and meetings, Director Grimm has determined that she possesses a noble spirit and keen mind that is sure to be an asset to this country and its citizens.” (King Fred)

Where did this high opinion of me come from? I’m not that sort of great person! No, I shouldn’t complain. I should be thankful they didn’t label me as some sort of criminal mastermind with my 500 (and counting) arrests. Even if the vast majority of them were false charges, misunderstandings or were dealt immediately after paying a fine, that’s not a number that’s easy to ignore!

“As most of you know, I’ve been looking for a chance to replace Rutland as Court Wizard for many years, but no worthy candidates have stepped forward. With his attempted usurpation of the throne coming to light, it is now even more vital that his position be filled. Therefore, I have taken the initiative to personally invite Lady Quasse to take up the mantle of Court Wizard.”  (King Fred)

Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

Having finished his explanation to the ministers, he turned towards me. Those old geezers have been maintaining those neutral masks of theirs ever since we walked in, so it's hard to guess their thoughts. Only the prince and princess allow some emotion to appear on their faces. The princess seems to be staring this way with rather shining eyes, while the prince is looking down on us like we’re vermin. The queen is mostly keeping a watchful eye so that the king doesn’t run wild again.

As for our group, Ellie is completely in my-pace mode while the girls are scared stiff by all these old men staring our way.

“Now then. Lady Quasse, do you have any questions? Ah, all of you have my permission to speak up at any time, so don’t be so reserved and let me hear your concerns!” (King Fred)

He turned back to being casual. Well he did give us permission to speak and ask any questions. Problem is I have too many of those! I don’t know where to start! I’m trying to find something to say, but the words won’t come out of my throat!

“King Fred, what does Kira have to actually do as a Court Wizard?” (Ellie)

Ellie! Thank you! Actually that should’ve been an obvious question! I have no idea what that Rutland guy actually did around here!

“Dunno.” (King Fred)

HEEEY! Is this all for your amusement after all!?

“Your Majesty Frederick Ferseit, if I may?” (Blonde Minister)

Ah, one of the officials here spoke up! He’s a youthful-looking man with straight blond hair.

“The position of Court Wizard is concerned with the defense of the capital and the royal family from any monsters or other dangers of a magical nature. It is also their duty to assume command of the battle-mage battalions during times of war. In short, it is a military positon that-” (Blone Minister)

“-is no longer relevant.” (King Fred)

The king cut him off with a wave of his hand! Well, I wouldn’t want to serve in the army or anything so lets hear him out.

"B-But Your Majestry, Court Wizard Rutland has been an asset to this kingdom for many years! Is it alright to so easily disregard his office after all this time?" (Blond Minister) 

“Rutland may have been a war hero in our conflict with the City State Alliance to the east, but that was over 20 years ago. The shaky peace we established at that time has been gradually getting stronger, and I have every intention to keep it that way. Such a war-mongering position is worthless in times like these." (King Fred)

“Pardon me, Your Majesty, but what became of mister Rutland?” (Kira)

I hadn’t heard about a trial or conviction yet, but the king talks about it as if it’s a done deal.

“Officially he’d resigned due to his inability to protect the capital from the dragon and has secluded himself away. Unofficially, he was quietly tried and executed for treason two days ago.” (King Fred)

“I see…” (Kira)

He was an enemy and a traitor to the crown. I won't say it's unexpected or that I'm sad to hear he's gone. However, I refuse to be happy about someone losing their life.

“What?” (Prince)

The prince who was busy staring down at me suddenly stood up from his chair. 

“You executed old man Rutland?!” (Prince)

He seems oddly hot-blooded, just like the king. He’s shouting and is obviously enraged. Seems he looked up to that guy a lot.

“Son-” (King Fred)

“Based on what?! Some harlot’s lies?! She was clearly gunning for his position! How can you let this insufferable upstart influence you like that!?” (Prince)

Huh? Ellie’s ears twitched? Oh no! She’s already stood up from her kneeling position and is approaching the prince! 

“Ellie! Stop!” (Kira)

I was too slow to react and didn't hold her back in time!

“And you! How dare you approach the royal throne without permission! I’ll personally see to it that both of you conniving witches are exec-” (Prince)

*Snap*

“GYAAAAAAA!” (Prince)

And there goes the arm he was going to thrust in her face.

“Your Highness! Arrest that woman immediately!” (Guard Officer)

My life is officially over.

*Snap* 

“GYAAAAAA!” (Guard 1)

I  wonder if that City State Alliance will take us in? I mean sure we attacked the royal family, but its’a  foreign nation so it should be okay, yeah?

*Snap*

“GYAAAAAA!” (Guard 2)

Oh, I should ask that birdbrain Umph to give us a ride!

*Snap sna-snap*

“GYAAAAAA!” (Guards 3, 4 and 5)

“Mom, do something!” (Lara)

“I wonder if they’ll have a nice beach somewhere where I can cry all I want…” (Kira)

“Ahhh she’s gone into her own world again!” (Lara)

*Sna-snap*

“GYAAAAAA!” (Guards 6 and 7)

“Hah! HAH HAH HAH HAAA! Look at her go!” (King Fred)

“Mommy, what’s going on?!” (Sophie)

“Self-defense.” (Ellie)

*Snap*

“GYAAAAAA!” (Guard 8)

* * *

“HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH! Oh man! Hoo boy! AH HAHA! Did you see the looks on those geezers’ faces! Oh that was priceless! OH HO HO HO HO!” (King Fred)

“If you knew that was going to happen, why did you invite Louis to this meeting anyway? Did you want to cause a scene!? Honestly, it’s like you’re begging to sleep on the floor again!” (Queen)

“AHAH! Ah, fuuuu! Sorry dear, but that boy had it coming! Ahh, but the way those ministers scrambled for their lives was a sight! Ohohoho, I’d pay good money to see that again!” (King Fred)

“Okay, I admit that was slightly amusing, but these pranks of yours have to stop!” (Queen)

When I finally came back to reality, the king was laughing heartily with tears in his eyes while his wife was scolding him. All the guards and ministers are no longer in the room. I’m still down on my knees where I was a little while ago. Ellie is also kneeling next to me. The girls are sitting off to the side along with the princess.

“So that was Lady Ellie’s bone-breaking technique! It powerful yet graceful, just as President Clara said!” (Princess Shalia)

Wait, since when did the princess become an Ellie fan? Is that why she seemed oddly excited throughout this whole thing?

“I know right? It looks like it hurts, but it’s for their own good! Mom’s really strict with rude people!” (Lara)

“But she’s super kind and nice if you behave! She even lets us fly around if we’ve been especially good!” (Sophie)

“Waah! I’m envious! I want to try that!” (Princess Shalia)

“I’m sure she will do it for you if you ask nicely!” (Lara)

“Really?” (Princess Shalia)

In the end, the entire family is like this, aren’t they? I guess the princess and the queen just hide it better. Still, it sounds like that king planned this whole thing somehow.

“Ellie, what just happened?” (Kira)

I turn to the only person who’s actually calm enough to respond appropriately.

“Umm, let's see. King Fred brought his son here, knowing he'd act out and be rude. And that I'd have to snap his arm. It was to teach him the folly of being conceited and arrogant. Then the guards came. Then the medics took everyone away.” (Ellie)

So he really did set up this whole farce? Just what sort of-

“Ah is the Lady Court Wizard finally back to her senses?” (King Fred)

I snapped.

“You crazy bastard! Who do you think you are putting me through all that! Do you have any idea how scared I was for my family's sake!? Please consider my position as a wife and mother before you pull crazy stunts like this! If you pull something like this again I will personally burn off all of your hair!” (Kira)

“Guh!” (King Fred)

I scream my pent-up complaints at this inexcusable moron! I don’t care anymore! He wants to be casual with us? Well he's going to get it!

“Lady Quasse is right! Your actions and position are incredibly mismatched! Also there are better ways of disciplining your son rather than having his arm broken by some hooligan! Do you want that boy to rebel against his father?" (Queen)

“Erk!” (King Fred)

“No offense, dear.” (Queen)

“None taken.” (Ellie)

“Yeah daddy! You really shouldn’t trouble Lady Ellie’s wife like that! If she starts hating me because of you, I’ll never forgive you!” (Princess Shalia)

“Waah!” (King Fred)

The three of us are just going to keep yelling at the king until we’re satisfied. He won’t change, but at least he’ll be quiet for a while!