> Grandmaster Kilroy PoV <

“Hmm… *Snort* Huh? Wha?” (Grandmaster Kilroy)

What’s all this? Ah, the arena’s totally empty, isn’t it? Judging from the snow piled up on the seats and on my shoulders it’s been like that for a while.

“Grandmaster Kilroy. Good to see you are finally awake.” (Nano/Butler)

Oh? Now there’s an oddly nostalgic voice. There’s only one person that has that weirdly neutral voice that makes it impossible to tell gender or age. I turn my gaze downward and see what appears to be a man in a black butler uniform, with a featureless white mask that only has two rectangular holes for the lifeless eyes behind them.

“... Nano huh?” (Grandmaster Kilroy)

Ah, technically Nano claims he isn’t a person, huh?

“I did it again, didn’t I?” (Grandmaster Kilroy)

“Indeed. You were asleep for two days. It’s almost noon on the 4th day of the third month.” (Nano/Butler)

“I see. Then the tournament is already over… A pity.” (Grandmaster Kilroy)

Not like I cared about the fighting itself, just the results. The only reason I came here was because I wanted to admonish Kiressara for her careless use of magic. Which I suppose I did, in a way.

She looked so shocked about it too! Like I’m some sort of amazing detective! As if there’s anyone else around here who’s both crazy and powerful enough to freeze such a huge chunk of the ocean!

“I would have liked a word or two more with your leader, but I guess it can’t be helped.” (Grandmaster Kilroy)

“It is not too late. We will remain in the capital for another week before she takes her maternity leave. Shall I make an appointment on your behalf?” (Nano/Butler)

“Heh.” (Grandmaster Kilroy)

The Grandmaster has to make an appointment to meet his subordinate. The irony of this situation is more than a little amusing! Well, she’s a busier person than I am so I suppose that much is natural.

“No, that’s fine. It wasn’t anything important anyway. Just an old man’s meddling.” (Grandmaster Kilroy)

I’ll apologize some other time. The way those idiots at the council thrust her into the public eye like that was horrible. I heard she lashed out and attacked the king by throwing her shoes at him when he told her the news. Well, she did repeatedly tell us she wanted to live as peacefully as possible, so all things considered he got off easy.

Still, I couldn’t stand up for one of the people in my care. Some ‘Grandmaster’ I am. I’m nothing but a glorified doorman! All I ever do is listen to complaints or hand out awards. Oh sure, I have a seat on the council that makes the real decisions in the Adventurer’s Guild, but I’m just one voice among many. And I’m often ignored.

“So. What happened with the tournament?” (Grandmaster Kilroy)

Personally I don’t care about the fights themselves, but the outcome is important information to have.

“Shall I give you a brief run-down of what happened?” (Nano/Butler)

“Yes, please.” (Grandmaster Kilroy)

“Ellie won the first match by raising a dust cloud and using it as cover to throw her weapons at Roel. It created an opening during which she knocked him out.” (Nano/Butler)

I see, so she really was doing something like that. I heard she had been Kiressara’s disciple at first, but I think she may have surpassed her wife as an adventurer. Part of me is glad those guys agreed on a team-based Ladder rather than an individual one. Something like that was sure to cause some internal strife among the Rank A teams.

“Gaar Lieron won the second match against the spear-user Rend. He scored a one-hit KO in the opening stages with a blow to the head.” (Nano/Butler)

That flat-faced problem child, huh? His skill is passable, but his attitude is terrible. The fact he won last year felt like it was mostly due to luck. Well, having good luck is also important for an adventurer.

“Brand Darkhand won the third match against Jake Ondonar.” (Nano/Butler)

Now this is a surprise. Looking at their sizes, Jake was easily three times taller than that dwarven soldier. He was clearly abnormal, even among us mountain giants. Ah, but with that much difference in size...

“He used that cyclops takedown combination that most dwarven shield-bearers are fond of, yes?” (Grandmaster Kilroy)

They charge into the knees and shatter them with a shoulder-charge, forcing their taller opponent onto the ground. Then they continue attacking the limbs until the cyclops is left completely helpless. It’s a brutal, but effective method.

“That is correct. As for the fourth quarterfinal, the martial artist Lu Po fainted in the presence of Zublos.” (Nano/Butler)

Hah! That old fart! I knew something like that would happen. He may pride himself as some sort of great teacher, but he’s nothing more than a whelp when it comes to facing oddities like Zublos.

“In the semifinals, Gaar got both his arms broken by Ellie in the first moments of the match.” (Nano/Butler)

As expected. That guy’s really bad at dealing with agile opponents.

“After that, Brand and Zublos fought for a good 20 minutes. Zublos couldn’t get past Brand’s defense and Brand couldn’t land a telling blow against Zublos’s high-speed. After about 20 minutes, Brand’s stamina hit his limit and he could no longer keep up, so he lost.” (Nano/Butler)

“Oh? Was it the same day he fought my fellow mountain giant?” (Grandmaster Kilroy)

“Indeed it was.” (Nano/Butler)

He was probably still exhausted from his earlier fight. The stamina reserves of a dwarf are no joke, but there’s no way he can take two opponents larger than himself in a row like that. He was unlucky.

“As for the final match of the tournament, Ellie and Zublos exchanged blows for a good 30 minutes. No, it’s more accurate to say Zublos failed to hit Ellie while he received deep cuts all over his body in return.” (Nano/Butler)

And he didn’t back down? Interesting. I guess Zublos must have some sort of natural armor like us mountain giants. He’s always wearing that robe whenever I see him, so that’s probably the case.

“When Sudden Death was announced he pulled out a small knife from inside his robe and caught Ellie slightly off guard, stabbing it through her steel bracer and into her forearm.” (Nano/Butler)

“Ohh! So Ellie lost, did she?” (Grandmaster Kilroy)

Sudden Death rules state the first clean hit after the 30 minute mark will win, and that blow sounds like it fits the bill.

“Yes. She overestimated how strong the arena-provided armor was and lost as a result.” (Nano/Butler)

“I see. I suppose she was used to bracers made of sterner stuff.” (Grandmaster Kilroy)

That guy Zublos is part of their team, so he probably has some form of insider information. I would wager he expected things to reach that point and aimed for that gap. Seems that guy has grown ever since he failed that escort commission. Well, Zublos’s growth is to be expected. Just look at who took him in as a disciple!

The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.

“That’s one way of putting it.” (Nano/Butler)

“So. I’m guessing we’ll be having a new Rank A adventurer join [Black Flame], huh? Your boss is collecting quite the menagerie, isn’t she?” (Grandmaster Kilroy)

“That’s a bit rude, but not entirely untrue.” (Nano/Butler)

“By the way, why are you here?” (Grandmaster Kilroy)

“Lara and Sophie were worried about you, so they asked me to keep an eye on you.” (Nano/Butler)

“Hah! Hahaha! As expected of those two. They’re good kids. Well, thank them on my behalf, will you? Also tell your boss I will be praying for the safe birth of her child.” (Grandmaster Kilroy)

“Of course, Grandmaster Kilroy.” (Nano/Butler)

“Then, goodbye Nano. Until we meet again.” (Grandmaster Kilroy)

“Goodbye.” (Nano/Butler)

I stand up and head toward the exit, the fresh snow crunching under my feet with each step. I can say I honestly feel a bit relieved. I was worried about what sort of child might be born from those two, but I should’ve just looked at their track record! Whoever or whatever is born is bound to grow up into a good kid.

Hmm... I am getting on in years. Perhaps I should find a successor so that I can retire and start a family of my own? Heh. I’m sure those geezers at the regular meeting will be shocked if I suddenly appoint Ellie as the next Grandmaster.

I can see it now! She’d show up to the first regular meeting with no idea what’s going on, then they’d tell her ‘you have no place here’ and then get all in her face before she snaps and all of a sudden they’re all going ‘GYAAAA’ while their arms and legs inexplicably bend the wrong way!

“Heh. Hehehehe! HAH HAH HAH HAH HAAA HAA! Hooh.” (Grandmaster Kilroy)

I’d love to see it, but that’s going too far just to pull a prank. Besides, I won’t get off with just being encased in ice if I push something unwanted like that onto Kiressara’s wife.

 AN: I'll just leave this here for the next bit. Enjoy!

> King Frederick Ferseit PoV <

“This is delicious ~nuts! I don’t think I’ve ever had a cake this good ~nuts!” (King Fred)

Ohhh, it really does make me say nuts at the end of my sentences ~nuts! This is great ~nuts! This so-called Almond Alamein truly is full of wonder ~nuts!

BEHOLD THE FEARSOME POWER OF ZUBLOS

Said the Dark King while wearing an apron and a chef’s hat ~nuts!

“Hahaha! Kiressara, where did you find this guy ~nuts?” (King Fred)

I’m glad she arranged this little get together ~nuts. Seriously, I get the feeling there won’t be a single dull moment if I can get this guy to visit more often ~nuts!

“In Runetap. Where else would you find an Ancient-Evil-turned-pastry-chef?” (Kiressara)

“Right ~nuts. Congrats on winning the big tournament by the way ~nuts.” (King Fred)

ZUBLOS HAS SLAUGHTERED THOUSANDS! A PATHETIC SPAT LIKE THAT IS NO CHALLENGE TO ONE AS MIGHTY AS I

“What’s he saying this time ~nuts?” (King Fred)

“I think he’s saying ‘thank you’ and ‘it was a tough battle.’ Something like that, right?” (Kira)

Zublos nods ~nuts. Hmm, I think I’m starting to understand this weird speech impediment of his ~nuts. I’m not sure if that’s a good or bad thing ~nuts.

“You’re not mad at him ~nuts?” (King Fred)

“Why would I be? He faced Ellie in fair combat and won. To be honest, he had to do at least that much to earn this Rank A promotion of his.” (Kira)

“Indeed. Defeating an accomplished adventurer like Lady Ellie was no small feat.” (Queen Raela)

“He completely caught me off-guard… I won’t lose next time, though!” (Ellie)

“Is that so ~nuts? So you’re going to compete again next year ~nuts?” (King Fred)

“Yeah! It was surprisingly fun!” (Ellie)

“I look forward to it as well. I don’t think I’ve ever felt exhilaration like that before!” (Kira)

“I’m telling you, Red! *Om nom* You need to get out more! *Nom nom* Damn, Z! This sweetroll of yours is amazing!” (Kelly)

ZUBLOS KNOWS NOT THE MEANING OF MERCY

“He means don’t hold back and eat as much as you want! How are your cakes, by the way!?” (Lara A)

Oh right, the waitress ~nuts. It’s a bit unfair she has to ‘work’ and serve us while the rest of us enjoy ourselves ~nuts. Well, let’s just think of her as one of the staff for now ~nuts. It’s just too bad that she handled meeting the king a lot better than most commoners ~nuts. It takes some of the fun out of it ~nuts.

“Absolutely marvelous my dear! These sweet dumplings are truly magnificent! I’ve never had anything like this before!” (Queen Raela)

“This cake is great too ~nuts! Both the taste and the effects are simply the best ~nuts! Nuts ~nuts. Nuts ~nuts.” (King Fred)

“This one agrees. These confections truly are splendid.” (Ariel)

“Yeah, I can never get tired of visiting the big Z’s shop!” (Kelly)

“It was super yummy!” (Sophie)

“Thanks big sis Lara!” (Lara)

“This is so weeeird! I can’t stooop!” (Shalia)

Those three adorable munchkins have been hopping around since a little while ago ~nuts. I think this is their third lap around the room ~nuts. Was that carrot cake really that good ~nuts?

“Okay! I’ll be right here if you need me!” (Lara A)

She bounds off and stands next to the wall with a serving tray, smiling so wide you’d think she was eating the cakes herself ~nuts. Ah, Kiressara did mention she was Zublos’s fiance, right ~nuts?

Also, didn’t one of those voices come from a weird place ~nuts? I tilt my head up to stare at the only member of [Black Flame] not sitting at the table.

“Uhm, Kiressara ~nuts? Is your avian friend okay ~nuts?” (King Fred)

She’s hanging upside down from one of the chandeliers like a bat ~nuts. It’s more than a little unnerving ~nuts.

“She’ll be fine. She’s just dealing with the after effects of her World’s End cake.” (Kira)

“I see ~nuts. How come Ellie is not eating anything ~nuts?” (King Fred)

“She has… stronger reactions than most people to Zublos’s cooking. So she’s abstaining for now.” (Kira)

Hoho, really now ~nuts? Now I’m even more curious to see her eat something ~nuts!

“By the way Freddie, you should try this one. It’s called the King’s Quest.” (Kelly)

“Interesting ~nuts. Why is it called that ~nuts?” (King Fred)

“No idea. It just makes everyone look like a bunch of squares. It’s good fun though.” (Kelly)

That doesn’t make any sense at all ~nuts! Then again, I’ve been saying ‘nuts’ for the last five minutes so I think we’re way past the point of things making sense ~nuts.

“All these squares make a circle. All these squares make a circle. All these squares make a circle.” (Prince Mathew)

Matt’s been staring off into a horizon that isn’t there for a while now ~nuts. I wonder if he’s alright ~nuts?

“What about you, my boy ~nuts? You doing alright over there ~nuts?” (King Fred)

He stops that weird chant, turns toward me, blinks twice then goes back to staring at something beyond the wall of the castle ~nuts.

“Here is here only if I’m here. There is there until I get there. Nowhere is everywhere and everywhere is nowhere.” (Prince Matt)

I don’t know about him, but I’m sure having fun ~nuts! This Matt is way more interesting than the regular one ~nuts! I wonder if it’s okay to secretly feed him more of those muffins ~nuts. As expected of the cuisine of that soon-to-be-Rank-A chef, huh ~nuts? Come to think of it, what’s up with that ~nuts?

“So you never told me ~nuts. Why is it that Zublos there had to earn himself Rank A in the first place ~nuts? He already has a successful shop, right ~nuts?” (King Fred)

“He wanted to expand and open a branch store in the capital, but failed the background check.” (Kira)

“Really now ~nuts? But you vouched for him, right ~nuts?” (King Fred)

Roel’s report said he was one of the people who traveled up north with the rest of them to find help for Kiressara’s condition ~nuts. He seems to have their trust, so that has to count for something ~nuts.

“I tried, but it was no good. Apparently some people really dislike the idea of an Ancient Evil living here.” (Kira)

Bunch of hypocrites if you ask me ~nuts. So what if Zublos killed a bunch people thousands of years ago ~nuts? Some of our ancestors were equally as bloodthirsty ~nuts. Besides, wasn’t he sealed for all that time ~nuts? If you think of it like serving one’s sentence and reintegrating into society, then he’s basically a rehabilitated model citizen ~nuts!

“I need you to tell me who those people were ~nuts. To defy the authority of the king like that, it makes me more than a little angry ~nuts!” (King Fred)

“Authority of the king? Did Your Majesty have something to do with this?” (Kira)

“What are you saying ~nuts? You showed them the royal seal and they still rejected you ~nuts!” (King Fred)

I won’t go so far as to call that treason, but it’s still a serious crime ~nuts!

“What do you mean, Your Majesty?” (Kira)

Why is she making a face like she has no idea what I’m talking about ~nuts? Come to think of it, she isn’t wearing any rings ~nuts...

“... You did use my seal, right ~nuts? I gave you that ring specifically to cut through red tape like that, didn’t I ~nuts?” (King Fred)

Her eyes pop out and her jaw hangs open ~nuts. I have a bad feeling about this ~nuts...

“That’s what that was?! I had no idea! You’re telling me I’ve been sitting on the answer for Zublos’s problem for all these months?! Why didn’t you tell me I could do that sort of thing!” (Kira)

“I’m pretty sure I did, though ~nuts.” (King Fred)

I mean, it’s something given to all my Ministers ~nuts. Can’t have them bother me with every little problem that pops up you know ~nuts! Well, I’d have to hang them if they abused it, but Kiressara seems like the sensible sort so I don’t have to worry about that sort of thing ~nuts. Probably ~nuts.

“No! You didn’t! What you said at the time was ‘Here, just make sure you don’t lose it!’ before you tossed it casually at me and moved onto talking about your daughter! How was I supposed to know that ring was something important like a royal seal?!” (Kira)

“It’s common knowledge around the castle though ~nuts?” (King Fred)

“I don’t live here!” (Kira)

Ah… now that she mentions it, she only drops by for a visit every week or so ~nuts. Hmm… could it be that I was somehow at fault ~nuts?

“Frederick.” (Queen Raela)

Uh oh ~nuts!

“W-well, what’s done is done ~nuts! No need to dwell on the past ~nuts. Besides, Zublos won a sizable sum to build his new store so it all worked out fine ~nuts!” (King Fred)

And they never bothered to ask for my help in the first place, so they share at least part of the blame for this ~nuts!

*WHAM*

“Ouch ~nuts!” (King Fred)

Something hard just hit me on the back of the head ~nuts!

“Oh no you don’t!” (Queen Raela)

“Wha- Raela ~nuts? Wh-where did you get that rolling pin ~nuts?!” (King Fred)

“That’s not important right now! You’re apologizing properly to your Minister and her friend for being an irresponsible sovereign!” (Queen Raela)

*WHAM*

“AAACK! Alright ~nuts! I’m sorry ~nuts! Please forgive me ~nuts!” (King Fred)

This Raela is three times scarier than normal ~nuts! And judging from that icy glare, I won’t be forgiven that easily either ~nuts! Haah… I have a feeling I’m sleeping on the couch tonight ~nuts.

Again ~nuts.