> Ellie PoV <
The three of us are preparing to camp out for the night.
{At this rate we’ll reach the second box in eight more days.}
“I hope it’s something worthwhile this time.”
Kelly lets out a complaint.
{Need I remind you that it’s what could be inside that’s the problem?}
“No, I get that, I do. Maybe not as well as you, but I do understand. *GLUG GLUG*
It’s just that you said these things were filled with valuable and dangerous items, so I got a bit excited.”
Kelly drinks from her flask while complaining.
“But there’s nothing valuable or dangerous about a box of carrots! What sort of lunatic needs that many bloody carrots!?”
Ah I see, Kelly doesn’t know.
Carrots are common here.
But where we came from, that’s not the case.
They’re close to becoming extinct, actually.
So those carrots were really expensive.
I keep that to myself though.
It will probably make Kelly even angrier.
We know the box’s contents because my plan worked.
The F.A.R.T. succeeded in making the tortoise vomit.
But part of the container was somehow digested.
The carrots inside were ruined.
As expected from the stomach of steel.
So, while we did succeed, there was no gain.
However, I have a far more important complaint.
“Kira… I’m lonely…”
I whisper to myself.
I messed up, I didn’t consider the lack of wind.
So when I went to check on the box afterwards, the gas hadn’t completely cleared up.
As a result I got exposed to the F.A.R.T.
And now I stink.
Nano blocked my sense of smell so I’m fine.
But Kira and Kelly start throwing up if I get too close.
I have to be some 15 meters away and downwind from them at all times.
So I haven’t hugged Kira for two whole days.
Hence the main issue.
I’m lonely!
I want to be comforted!
But if I hug Kira then she will suffer!
I don’t want to make Kira suffer!
So, as the wife, I must protect Kira.
From myself!
“Gaaaaah!”
I let out a shout in frustration!
But it’s hopeless.
There’s no cure for F.A.R.T.
…
Wait.
That’s only true if you rely on science.
But this is a world of magic!
* * *
*Scritch Scritch*
*Prrrrrrrrr*
“Awwwww poor Ellie ~♡. I was really lonely without you, too ~♡!”
The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there.
Finally Kira’s warm and fluffy embrace.
*Scritch Scritch*
Ah, this is bliss!
“Nyaaa… Nyaaa… Nyaaa…”
I feel so good that my voice leaks out with weird noises.
“Still, to get rid of that unfathomable stench in just one night, that guy’s ointments are really good huh?”
Kelly comments from the driver's seat.
That’s right, I had to use all the anti-odor ointment I got from mister Picorio.
Me and Kira take baths all the time so bad smells aren’t a problem.
I had forgotten all about that.
*Scritch Scritch*
“Nyaaa… Nyaaa…”
But I’m glad I bought five full product packages from him.
I need to thank mister Picorio properly when we get back.
I spent all of last night applying it to my skin, armor, weapons and hair.
Since I was busy the entire night, I didn’t get any sleep.
So now I’m resting on Kira’s lap in the back of the carriage.
“Mfufufu, Ellie’s ears really are the greatest ~♡!”
*Scritch Scritch*
“Kira’s hands feel way too good. It’s unfaaair...”
“Cut that out you two, your flirting is gonna make me sick.”
“Oh my, are you perhaps jealous!?”
“Red, if you ever make that sort of comment again, I’m terminating our contract.”
Wah!
Kelly’s voice turned to ice!
“Are we clear?”
“Wow Kelly. I just wanted to tease you a bit…”
“Are. We. Clear?!”
“Kira. Apologize.”
I sternly scold Kira as well.
“Geh! Okay Ellie okay! I’m really sorry Kelly! I’ll behave myself in the future!”
“Thanks, that’s all I wanted to hear.”
Good, Kelly’s not angry anymore.
{You know, I’ve been thinking this for a while but Ellie’s doing a great job as a wife.}
Eh!?
A compliment from Nano?
Did he break again?
“I agree with Nano. Ellie, you’re amazing at supporting Red and keeping her in line. You’re undoubtedly a first class wife.”
“Ehehehehehe.”
I let out a little embarrassed laugh. It’s rare to get complicated so directly.
“Hey! Don’t talk about me like I’m some burden! I do wife-like things too, you know!?”
Kira?
“Oh yeah, like what?”
“Well! I… um, that is…”
Ah Kira’s stumbling.
I must support her.
Since I’m the wife.
“Kira is kind and understanding. She fills me with love and smiles every day.”
It’s true, that’s all I ever wanted from Kira.
“Hauuu, Ellie sure knows how to say some nice things ~♡!”
*Scritch Scritch*
“Nyaaa…”
“Hey, I said cut it out you two!”