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Binary Soul
Chapter 39 - Courage is not the absence of fear, but the drive to push past it

Chapter 39 - Courage is not the absence of fear, but the drive to push past it

> Kira PoV <

{Ellie, Kira, I have something to say.}

Nano had gathered us around a table.

"Heeeee, nnnaaaaa, mmmnnnnnaaa...."

"Ellie, this is important, please stop rubbing your face on me."

Even after scolding her and almost pushing her off, she refuses to let go of me.

She’s changed. As predicted her bizarre behavior kept getting worse. The quiet, cute girl from a week ago is nowhere to be found.

It was stressing Kelly out so much we had to send her to Runetap for a few days. Hopefully she'll recover in the werewolf bar there.

{Well, I'll cut straight to the point.}

{Ellie's recent experience has sent her body into heat.}

This is... making more sense than it should.

{It's a defect from the Felis treatment.}

As I thought, it's her strange race in the end.

"So we just need to wait it out? It might be uncomf-”

{We can't.}

Nano cut me off… he never does that!

{Her body doesn't know what to do with itself, so it's going wild.}

{If we do nothing, then at this rate, she will die in a few days.}

...

All the color disappeared from the world.

Ellie can't die! She's my sun, my moon, my everything!

I reflexively hug her like someone's trying to take her from me.

No, that may actually be the case.

"Th-th-there's something you can do right?"

{Yes, but it's an extreme measure.}

"Tell me."

{To begin with, the problem is that her state is incomplete.}

{So the way to stabilize it is to finish the treatment.}

"NO!"

Ellie screamed and bolted away from me.

She's on down on all fours, expression like a feral beast.

"Ellie, please, this is-"

"NO! NO! NO MORE!"

She's screaming with bloodshot eyes.

"NO MORE INJECTIONS AND CHAIRS!"

This girl is screaming like her teeth are being pulled.

"NO MORE PROBING AND CUTTING!"

Her pain, her fear, I can feel them flow through me.

"NO MORE CHAINS AND PRISONS!"

What... what do I do...

{Ellie. Please listen to reason.}

{There’s a good chance that-}

“NO!”

Nano tries to talk to her, but...

"No... please... no.."

She curls up and starts shivering.

"Ellie..."

I reach my hands out to her and take a few steps.

She curls up even more.

I approach slowly and kneel down.

I embrace her head gently, trying my best to soothe her, but her shaking won't stop.

Why?

"Nano, why?"

{If Ellie goes through with this, she's going to change.}

{I can guess how much to some extent, but we can’t be sure.}

{Also, this is something that old fart forced on her, and that terrifies her.}

This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

"Can you do it?"

{Yes, I can. There’s a seed inside her, I just need to make it grow.}

{All I need is her approval.}

"Ellie, I know it must be terrible, but..."

"I DON'T WANT TO BE A WEAPON!"

She screams into my chest with all her might.

"I don't... want to be a monster..."

"There’s no way Ellie will ever be a monster!”

I rebuke her immediately.

There’s no way.

Even if the whole world says so.

Even if Ellie herself says so!

I will refute everything until the end!

There's no way my sweet, passionate Ellie will ever be a monster.

"But... I'm scared... 

I don't want to be like them...

If the only way is to become like those.. things!

I'd rather die!"

*SLAP*

My palm strikes her cheek with all my might.

Overcome by anger, I hit Ellie for the first time in my life.

Her face is facing the ground, refusing to return my gaze.

"DON'T SAY THAT! Don't... ever say that!"

I stifle down the rage in my heart.

When we met, my life found new meaning. I don't want to lose her.

Whatever's happening, I am the cause. If Ellie dies like this, I will have killed her.

I... don't know if I can bear that.

So please, Ellie, don't die!

...

She's still quivering.  She looks so tiny.

How can I save her? How can I help her?

...

No...

That's wrong.

This girl did not ask for my help.

Ellie clearly said she wished for death.

What I was thinking was just my own selfishness.

I see, this is something I, not Ellie, wanted.

In that case, I will force it on her!

I straighten up, cross my arms and shout with a command tone-

"Adventurer Ellie of [Black Flame]!"

She looks up at me with a shocked expression. Some semblance of light comes back to her vacant eyes.

"As your leader, I order you to survive with all your might!

As your friend, I ask that you do not lose yourself!

But above all else, as your future wife...

I beg of you, live! Live on and let me love you!"

I give voice to my wish.

To this one desire of mine which will not be denied.

"Waah! Uk, uk, uk, uwaaaaah!"

Ellie finally breaks out into full blown sobbing.

"Yez! YEZ! I *hic hic* I promize!"

I kneel down and gently hold her. 

"That's my girl. Let it all out..."

I will stay with her until her tears run dry.

Until my life runs out.

Until my bones turn to dust.

Until the last ember of my soul fades away.

Nothing will take her away from me.

----------------------------------------

Well, this one took an unexpectedly dark turn.

Even I'm not sure how it ended up like this.

This was supposed to be light-hearted yet...