I felt an odd sense of anticipation rise up within me. This had somehow become all that was important. Nothing else in this dream world mattered as much as doing whatever the evolution thing was so that I could survive this place. I licked my berry lips, wondering momentarily about the color of my tongue, and first pulled up my current stats again before I brought up my choices.

[Name: Barry.

Title: None.

Race: Calypso Blueberry.

Level: 1.

Class: Angiomancer.

Rarity: Abundant.

Equipment Level: 0]

Ah yes. Gorgeous and unchanged. With that done I was ready to move on to my evolutionary paths. Fogwarth’s prior training about the interface kicked in and I closed my eyes, cleared my thoughts, and asked the darkness to show my paths.

[Current Evolution Tier: 0. Current Race: Calypso Blueberry. Next Tier: 1. Evolution Paths:]

[Battle Berry. Tier: 1. Rarity: Error. Level Requirement: 5. Additional Requirement: Achieve Level 5 with 70% or more of the total experience earned coming by way of combat. Evolution information: Evolution gains mobility through rolling, and triples in size. Gains protruding stem spikes over surface of body that have a 15% chance to inflict poison damage on successful attack. Has 10% thorn damage bonus when being attacked. High melee damage potential. Tier 2 Paths: Locked]

[Calypso Brawler. Tier: 1. Rarity: Error. Level Requirement: 5. Additional Requirement: Achieve Level 5 with 40% or more of the total experience earned coming by way of combat. Possess a weapon of Rare quality or higher. Evolution information: Evolution gains mobility through interlaced stem appendages in the form of two legs and two arms. Evolution doubles in size while thickening the outer berry skin, providing a 10% bonus to natural defense. The most versatile of early Berry-based evolutions. Tier 2 Paths: Locked]

[Berry Rootling. Tier: 1. Rarity: Error. Level Requirement: 5. Additional Requirement: Achieve Level 5 while within 10 yards of the original Life Stem, and possess a minimum of 2 known Spells. 20% of total experience earned must be through combat. Evolution Information: Evolution gains mobility through the growth of 8-12 root tentacle appendages; Root tentacles increase in number when closer in proximity to Life Stem during evolution. Berry size is reduced by 50%, but gains two additional berries that act as one unified mind, offering 360 degree vision. The highest magical damage output of the Tier 1 evolutions]

[Wildberry Prowler. Tier: 1. Rarity: Error. Level Requirement: 5. Additional Requirement: Achieve Level 5 with 25% of total experience earned while being in stealth, and must have performed one stealth based kill. Evolution Information: Evolution gains mobility through four stem legs with thorn claws on each paw. Doubles in size and stretches the body into oblong shape to mirror that of an alpha feline. Highest speed and stealth of early Berry evolutions]

I read each option out loud as I reviewed them, being rewarded with the scratching of the Oracle’s pen on paper while I did so. Several times I opened my eyes and the interface remained if I concentrated, but I decided to stick to closed eyes for now. Aspenoc would occasionally chime in and ask me to pause or reread something so that he could catch up, but otherwise I was free to really think about my options.

With an idea in mind, I decided to pull up my avatar in the corner of my darkened vision and then try to apply each path onto it like some sort of Barbie dress up simulator.

What? I had sisters growing up. Fuck you. Don’t judge me. It was fun, okay?

Anyway, my little blueberry self rotated in the corner and I pushed the first choice onto it. For a moment nothing seemed to happen, but then small wooden thorns began to protrude from my surface in a grid pattern similar to Pinhead from Hellraiser. To my shock, my avatar began to roll every few seconds to show its mobility! The movement wasn’t ideal, but even the thought of moving around again was incredibly appealing.

I moved on next to the [Calypso Brawler] path. I was rewarded with a stout figure with two arms, two legs, and a bulbous body. It looked almost exactly as I did right now, just with arms and legs that were the entangled browns and greens of stems. Just like the other, this one would mock a jog every few seconds complete with the swinging arms and all. I almost giggled like an excited child at the arms and legs, watching the form much longer than I should have.

The [Berry Rootling] proved to be the oddest so far, which was saying something considering everything in this world was real fucking odd. My avatar had shrunk at first, looking more like a normal-ish blueberry, before two more blueberries of equal size popped up behind it. The bunch of berries spun slowly, showing that each had the exact same face, and then it slowly rose into the air as tendrils of dangling roots came out from beneath it like an octopus. A few leaves came out from under the berries like some kind of skirt to complete the figure. I watched its odd, fluid motions for a few cycles, taking in the slow, smooth stride of it. It was uncomfortable, though still a promising option over what I was now.

Last up was the [Wildberry Prowler], which was exactly what I thought it would be. It was a jungle cat, panther or tiger equivalent, except with a long berry body and stems for legs. It was fearsome looking, with the maw on the elongated berry being full of thorn teeth and long thorn claws on each paw. It even had a swaying tail that looked similar to the [Berry Rootling] legs. Every few seconds it would launch into a sprint, then leap into the air.

It was rad as fuck.

I smiled wide after I was all done, opening my eyes and seeing Aspenoc still taking some notes. This was good. This was very good. I’d honestly take any option, with the Prowler being my first pick and the [Battle Berry] taking the rear. If I had to make a list I would say the Brawler was a close second while the Rootling thing was third, but I wasn’t picky at this point. Anything was better than being a berry backpack.

“These are… interesting paths,” Aspenoc finally said, finishing his notes and closing the journal. He placed a hand to his head, shaking it with a look of dejection before looking in my direction. “The Gods have plans for you indeed, Barry. These paths are… difficult, to say the least.”

“Difficult?” I soured my expression. “Wait. Hold on. This isn’t good news? I have options now!”

I heard Fogwen stand behind me and approach us, then she placed a hand on the top of my body/head. It was a strangely affectionate moment coming from her, considering that she was a real thorn in the old berry, and only made me more concerned. Aspenoc stared at me like a father about to tell me my parents are getting a divorce, or that my puppy was run over by a drunk Fedex delivery driver on my birthday.

I knew both from experience.

“Most, if not all, races…” Fogwen said, her voice low, somber and melodic. She caressed my top like a friend delivering the bad news. “Have a simpler path option, perhaps even a few. The world is not made up solely of soldiers and hunters, you see. It is farmers and merchants, smiths and tailors. There are the fishers, the carpenters, the masons. They outnumber we of the more combat based paths by a large amount. Do you not see, Barry? Look at your paths. Study the requirements needed. What connects those paths that have been gleaned?”

“I…” I paused, thinking hard on my options. “I don’t get it. They all require combat of some kind, but is that really so bad? Fogwarth fought off a soldier bee and a few tigers just on the walk over here, and I received experience or whatever from our Companion bond thing. Couldn’t he just fight more things with me around? I’m already close to the next Level too.”

Aspenoc sighed. A long, depressing sigh. Oh no.

“I am afraid that is not how it works, Barry Ashton. Companion experience is a wonderful thing, yet it is not earned experience. Combat or not, it is experience gifted to you by your bond to Prince Fogwarth. You must be the one to earn the experience in combat. You must be the one to inflict the blows on your enemies. With your options it seems as though the Companion experience will actively work against you, unless you are somehow involved directly in the fight. And… with your current form…”

A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

“Oh… Oh no…” I muttered. “I can’t do anything. I can’t even move around! Oh no, oh shit. What do I do?” I glanced around between Aspenoc and Fogwen, who had moved around so that she could look at me with a soft, guilt-ridden expression. “Come on! Think! What do I do?”

“We could attempt to glean something from your strange Class,” Aspenoc answered in a way that totally seemed the opposite of hopeful. “Angiomancer is not one I am familiar with, but it implies some kind of magical prowess. It would unlock at least one of your paths should there be a combat spell available prior to reaching Level 5, but most Classes only have a single ability prior to reaching a Tier 1 path. Give me but a moment, I must find the Mancer’s Tome.”

The bone-colored elder bee rose from his stool and shuffled between the endless rows of bookshelves, perusing for whatever tome he was talking about. Fogwen stared for a little longer, still holding her pitying gaze on me like some kind of remorseful bully.

“Come on, Princess,” I said in a hushed tone. “There isn’t anything you can do? You can’t throw me at something until it dies?”

She cracked a smile, finally letting her face lighten up again with the usual arrogance. “Throw you? A blueberry? I am not sure if the Gods themselves can throw a mere blueberry with enough force to inflict any real, lasting damage.”

“Hey now, Princess. Mere blueberry? I’ll have you know I’m a calypso blueberry of the Mothric kingdom! Delicious, crisp, whatever else you guys keep saying.”

I heard the briefest sound of a laugh escape her lips before she covered it with her hand and looked away. She composed herself a few moments later and looked back, hands on her hips.

“Alright. That was funny. Let us award you the win for that round of our jesting,” she said, moving her spider-silk hair. “I am glad you are in good humor, Barry. Should we find a solution that leads you down any of the known paths then my family will do all we can to see you to it. You have my word.”

I smiled in return. “Thank you, Fogwen. Maybe you aren’t so completely, horribly terrible after all.”

She cocked a more devious grin. “And there we are. Back to normal, I see. Well, I shall resume my thoughts on how to best prepare you when you finally meet the pit of my stomach, Barry.”

She walked by, giving another pat to the top of my head as she did so and then sat back down in the big, old chair. At the same time, Aspenoc came around the bend with his staff in one hand and a large, ancient book in another.

He slammed the book down, kicking up dust and knocking some of his strange times off of the desk.

I coughed as the dust spread and settled, then got a good look at the gigantic red book, bound in leather with golden text etched over its surface.

[Mancer’s Tome. Type: Book. Rarity: Scarce. Durability: 147/350. Description: This is a text crafted by Garowdin, The First Mancer, and his apprentice Emberlace. Garowdin spent most of his life adventuring for the purpose of separating the various schools of magical knowledge. In a time predating the Class system, Garowdin worked to classify common sorcery into that of Kenesis and Mancy. While there are many avenues that have since been discovered, this helped to separate the idea of manipulation versus conjuration]

“You are a Mancer,” Aspenoc said, sitting and cracking into the old book. “It implies some manner of conjuration-based spell work, though which of the elements and the manner of the conjuration are unknown to us. That is what we must find!”

“Okay… alright. Yes!” I called out, feeling a bit more enthusiastic. “That would get me the Rootling evolution at the very least!”

“Indeed! Though it may unlock any of your paths should you have a powerful enough ability.” He flipped another page, huge insect eyes scouring the texts and a finger underlining the words. “With enough spell damage you could easily achieve any of the combat experience percentages you require!”

Warmth like the midday sun crept into my berry core and I felt rejuvenated. It wasn’t literally sunlight since I was nowhere near a window, but it was comfortable all the same. Speaking of that, I was starting to feel thirsty and hungry again. Probably meant I just needed some water and UVs to fill up the old gas tank, but so far no debuffs popped up so I could go without for now.

“Barry, can you bring up a class description from your interface for me? There may be some information that shortens our search.”

I closed my eyes and focused on the class after bringing up my status window. The Angiomancer text zoomed in and swirled upward, creating a new menu unlike the ones I had viewed prior. To the right was a list of abilities labeled as [Passive] and [Active] however there was nothing to be found beneath either. There was also a bottom section that said [Synchronized Paths] that raised all kinds of questions, but I tucked them away for later. At the top, right under the class’s name, was the description.

[Angiomancer. Type: Conjuration. Affinity: Nature. Rarity: Error. Description: The Angiomancer is a branch of the Phyllomancer, Chloromancer, and Floramancer subclasses. The Angiomancer wields the power of nature, summoning its power similar to its branched subclasses with a focus on disabling, ensnaring, controlling, and debuffing adversaries, as well as basic rejuvenation capabilities. The Angiomancer utilizes the various angiosperms that make up specified parts of the nature cycle]

Aspenoc peered into his book, turning another page as I finished reading him the information. He simply nodded and took the class description in, mulling it around or something. Another page flipped in silence, nothing but the gentle crackle of lit torches and candles echoing into the spire. Color-tinged light pierced the room in soft rays from distant windows, blending with the dancing torch flames. The room was a whole vibe, don’t get me wrong, but I really was hoping for some answers here.

A moment later I cleared my throat in an attempt to stir up some conversation, clearly breaking Aspenoc’s deep concentration.

“Oh, yes,” he said, holding his spot on the page and looking up. “I already had made the assumption that it would be a Nature affinity based on your current form. I have been swimming through the passages of the many Nature-Mancer subclasses, searching for any mention of yours or a similarity.”

A sigh escaped his mandibles and he turned back to his book. “I know time is not a commodity we have in surplus, yet time is what I will require. The answer is here, within the halls of my library. I can feel it stir even now. Yet your expiration quickly draws upon us. Short of tying you to my staff and beating monsters with you, I am afraid I am out of all logical ideas, friend.”

“Beating monsters with him, you say,” a booming, familiar voice came from the entryway.

Fogwarth squeezed himself inside, barely fitting through the archway into Aspenoc’s quarters. He met me with a friendly smile that I returned instantly, surprisingly genuinely happy to see the big inch worm. He was gnawing away at something as usual, but this time the juices were more of a translucent yellow color as they careened down his portly cheeks and chin.

“If we are speaking of beating monstrosities then I must presume we have made progress! Splendid!” He exclaimed through a full cheek of food. “Let us pursue evolution, sir berry!”

“I… I wouldn’t say we made much progress, Foggy. More like one step forward and two steps back, if you know what I mean.”

The disappointment, concern, and dejection must have been apparent on my face as my smile fell, because Fogwarth seemed to double in his enthusiasm as if compensating for the rest of us. I appreciated the notion, even if I was dead a couple of days from now. Well, dream dead anyway. Not dead dead.

Fogwarth looked around the room, fanning his smile to the three of us before settling back on me.

“One step forward and two steps back you say?” He hunched down and met me at eye level, his black eyes seeming to peer right through me. “In my experience, moves like that can lead to a fabulous dance.”

He stood back up and this time gave his attention to Fogwen. “Tell me, sister, would it work?”

“Huh?” She regarded him, looking up from a random book she snatched up. “Would what work?”

“Putting my dear Companion on a stick and walloping an enemy with him. Would it work for whatever he needs to accomplish?”

Fogwen gave him a blank, stupefied stare. “You are joking, right? He is a blueberry, Fogwarth. He could barely damage a fruit cake, let alone a true enemy. His issue is that he requires combat experience for all of his evolutions, and unless he inflicts the damage he will not be rewarded the experience.”

I also gave him a stupefied stare. The same exact stare. No way in Hell I was going to be the pillow in a pillow fight.

“No, no,” Fogwarth said, waving all six of his arms in defense. “If sir berry were to be effective in a battle and his body were used as the weapon, would he then receive the experience? Would he then be awarded the victory rather than the wielder?”

“I suppose so,” added Aspenoc, still buried in his ancient text. “The extinct people of the Uzhul-Ki Nation were birthed eggs as hard as stone boulders, and when they were utilized as projectile weapons it was the egg who would receive the experience rather than the warrior who had thrown it. It was how most received their Tier 1 path evolution.”

“Uzhul-Ki? Never heard of that nation. How did they become extinct?” Fogwen asked with a raised brow, taking the question out of my mouth.

“By being used as projectile weapons,” Aspenoc answered without hesitation, not even glancing up at us. “Why do you ask?”

“Ignore the Oracle for now, dear friend,” Fogwarth cut in, pulling up my rope harness and wearing me as a backpack once again. “Fear not! Fogwarth, The Portly Strategist once again has a fine plan! A fine plan indeed!”

“The Portly Strategist? What? Who is coming up with these titles?” I asked as Fogwarth pulled toward the door. “Hey! Wait a minute! We weren’t done here!”

Fogwarth ignored me and made for the door anyway, exiting with a speed I wished he had shown on our way to the castle. The humming began, and I felt my disappointment settle in as I realized that the Flightless Guard would not be walking us the entire way down the massive spiral staircase of the spire. I sighed as loudly as I possibly could as the nausea once again set in with the up and down motions of his inch worm movement.