It only took a few minutes for the remaining spider corpses to dissolve entirely, leaving nothing but messy, muddy blood pools lingering over our battlefields.

We had gathered up where Foggy had fought, which was a plateau at the nape of the lower back, and from there we could really see the landscape before us; which was definitely two ass cheeks. While my team, consisting of Bellbane and Aeronik, seemed to have done the worst, it had also seemed that Fogdahn and Ak didn’t fare much better, as their field was only a little more corpse-filled than our own. Which of course meant that Foggy had done a majority of the heavy lifting. Luckily there had already been a strange, mysterious, and still warm campsite set up right at where the wall sealing off the torso cavity from us had once been. It was almost as if someone had been waiting there for the wall to come down.

Interesting indeed.

We decided to take another rest to replenish our strength, and I agreed to use my healing spores on the group as long as Fogdahn hooked me up with a couple mana potions for when I got low.

Spoiler alert: they were blueberry flavored.

Aeronik used the flint from our firebombs to make a small campfire for us, since this room wasn’t as small as the knee had been, and we gathered in a circle to discuss next moves and open our rewards. I resummoned Scrappy to join us, and he put up his dukes and gave a few practice jabs as we spoke about what just went down.

“Well, I had known that they would multiply each time they were struck down,” Foggy said to Ak-Lok as he started housing a second fruit cake. “But therein lies the problem, my stone Companion. Four had not seemed like a challenge, and even the larger one had fallen easily to the edge of my pearlescent blade, but then more came, and so I killed more. So on and so forth until the small room I was forced in was simply crawling with the fiends and slashing them was all I could do just to have enough room to stand! What was strange is that they eventually did stop coming. At that point I simply decided to climb to the top of the mess I had made and wait out the timer!”

“Us too,” Ak answered.

“Yes,” Fogdahn added. “Our room did not produce the final Alpha, though many of the veinling creatures continued to spawn.”

“The final foe had been in our corridor it seems,” Aeronik hissed, looking at me as he removed some of the travel rations from his pouch. “A strange coincidence it would seem…”

“Coincidence?” I said, practically hissing back at the stupid bee. “Yeah, it is exactly that. Unlike this campsite that just so happened to be sitting here. I’m telling you guys, it is that damn dude from before. Barbeque.”

“Baritone?” Foggy added.

“Barnacle…” Ak-Lok said.

Fogdahn shook his eyeball head. “Burquinn. And, no. I am…” He looked at Bellbane and sighed. “I am afraid this was my campsite. I must admit something to you, dear brother and his berry ally. I have not been forthcoming about this place we find ourselves in, or the peril we have faced since entering.”

“Oh,” I said, feigning shock and awe. “Gee. You don’t say. Please, do tell us more.”

“I am with sir Berry, Fogdahn!” Foggy answered, nearly dropping his remaining hunk of fruit cake. “I am stunned by this turn of events. Appalled even! Both myself and my best blueberry buddy are simply taken back by this admission of guilt! Speak, Fogdahn!”

I rolled my eyes.

Fogdahn ignored us, simply taking in the remaining glowing spores of my most recent healing ability that I casted and sighing before saying anything else. His one massive eyelid slid over his entire eyeball head in a slurping sound then retracted again, which grossed me out just as much now as the first time I saw it happen.

“I do come in search of a golem core, which may perhaps be the rarest of all cores in my collection,” Fogdahn said, retrieving what looked like a full turkey leg from his personal [Pouch of Storage] and stuffing it inside of his robes; the gnawing and crunching of bone left a lot to be desired in that moment. “It is what I do; it is what I am. I care not for the politics of Mothric, or the duties of we, the new Lords of Palea. No, I care for my collection. I scour this world for cores that would make such exquisite golems…” He looked from Ak-Lok to Bellbane. “There were other lesser cores I had utilized before finding the more unique cores. The twin cores of the stone matron were my first rare discovery, which became the golem siblings Ak-Lok and Ix-Lok.”

Hearing Ix-Lok’s name being brought up by another sent a cascade of sour memories hovering in my mind. I shoved them away for now and continued listening.

“Then there is Bellbane, a true marvel discovered only a few years ago. The last of an extinct race of titans that once inhabited the Canaan Mistlands before vanishing altogether. I searched for that core in the company of the Loks and a small contingent of Mothric soldiers for months before finally finding it. And now… Now I have the opportunity to hold that which no one has ever witnessed before. The golem core left behind by a God.”

“Okay…” I said, preparing to cast my healing ability again. “That still doesn’t sound too far off what you already said. Where's the catch? Where’s the beef?”

Fogdahn chuckled. “An impatient one, I see. What I have left out is all that had occurred here before all of you had arrived. I entered this husk in the company of Bellbane… and Burquinn. When I arrived he had already been at the heel, scouting two foreign warriors who had just exited the husk. Burquinn had been far too weak to enter this place on his own, and had hoped to recruit the warriors to his cause, only to find that one had consumed the rotting flesh of Juniperscar and was as infected on the beasts around it; though, I suspect Burquinn himself may have been the one who uncovered the husk to begin with, allowing the surrounding creatures access to the tainted meat.”

“Daiki and Toki then,” Foggy added, and I gave him a confirming nod. “They were of the Wandering City, brother. Daiki had indeed been Flesh Cursed when we came upon them, and we battled alongside Toki against him in a fearsome battle that took the life of dear Ix-Lok, I am afraid…”

“So, when you two arrived and found him I’m guessing there was some kind of fight then, judging by how much of your weird mist had flooded the entire area. We could barely see a few feet in front of us!” I said, more of a statement than a question.

Fogdahn nodded, Bellbane mirroring the confirmation. “Yes, correct. Burquinn had been set upon by a contingent of Icaraz scouts, and we intervened to take them down. During our conflict we had become surrounded by hordes of flesh cursed beasts, prolonging our battle even further. After the grueling exchange we finally had a moment to exchange words, where Burquinn said he wanted to enter the husk to find that which he had stolen, and I agreed to accompany him in search of my own treasures.”

“We battled through the first trial together, which occurred almost immediately after entering,” Fogdahn continued, fishing out more food to shove into his squirming, gnashing robes. “Then the second, which was in the same area where I came across your group later, and after that the third. The third was challenging for a party of our size, and in Burquinn’s weakened state we barely were able to pass in the allotted time. It was there that our party came to a crossroads, just before the room that would be the fourth trial; that which we have just faced together.”

“Hold on, so you knew what this place was? You knew it was some kind of death trap, and you still forced us into following you?!” I shouted, feeling my tiger berry rage bubbling up inside of me.

It may have been too soon to trigger it, but that tiger really wanted out at that moment.

“I forced you to do no such thing,” he answered with poison in his voice. “I did not ask your party to join, I merely needed Ak-Lok’s presence so that the fourth trial would begin. Burquinn and I had a skirmish just after the wall between the third and fourth trials fell, and he retreated just as he did in your earlier battle with him. I let him go, believing I did not need him to continue onward. And so, Bellbane and I entered the fourth trail and waited for it to begin. Yet, it did not. We made camp here, right where we sit, and still it did not trigger. I slowly came to realize that the trials required a party to be formed, regardless of the size. So, I left in the hopes of finding Burquinn or anyone to form a party with and continue.”

“Then you found us…” Aeronik scoffed. “You used us as your party!”

“No, I fear it is far worse,” Foggy said as I bit my tongue, coming to the same realization as I did, which only served to fuel the fire of my rage. “You… you would have fought this trial with only Ak. Our stone friend would have perished in such a battle all on his own! Any of us would have! Say it is not so, Fogdahn.”

Ak-Lok did not look up, merely staring into the dancing flames of the campfire.

Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.

“The trail merely needed a party and that is all. Rise or fall, it is not my concern,” he answered. “I was under the assumption that I could clear this trial alone, sending both golems to the other chambers while I handled the heft of the duties. I had not known what the trial would consist of fully, but even still I would not have changed tactics. Make no mistake about it, these are my golems. Their lives are in my hands, and their will is my will. If their lives serve a purpose it is to extend the boundaries and successes of my own. Unlike your standard familiar, these golems I create have merely a single life to lay down in the pursuit of our unified ambition, so why not give it for the greatest cause?”

“You piece of shit!” I screamed, standing up and startling the Spore Medic that had just summoned with the most recent cast. Scrappy fell off of my head and tumbled with the spore familiar, both nearly falling into the campfire which would have really been bad for my look right about now. “Ak isn’t some tool for you to use! It isn’t some life for you to throw away! Ak is real, and it feels just like we do, you ugly bastard. Ak-Lok has a right to make up its own mind and pursue its own goals! Right, Ak? Say something! Tell this guy off!”

Ak remained silent, watching the glow of the fire.

“Dude! He was going to get you killed! He was going to use your life as a fucking tool! Tell him you are an independent golem and you don’t need a trifling ass eyeball in your life!”

Still nothing, though I guess I didn’t really expect Ak to repeat that.

Fogdahn laughed. “See? Do not meddle in matters that you do not understand. Now, we should check our trial rewards and prepare to head into the fifth. Unless there is more ego-stroking and postering either of you wish to do?”

I clenched my jaw, feeling my skin crawl and my insides burn from hearing this guy talk. At that moment I didn’t care that he came to my aid against Burlington Coat Factory back in the knee, or that he was Foggy’s brother, or that he was more powerful than me. No, at that moment all I wanted to do was punch him square in the eyeball. But Foggy just shook his head, a look in his eyes telling me it wasn’t worth my time or energy arguing with Fogdahn about his deranged moral compass. After a long exhale I said back down, trying to clear my thoughts. I found myself staring into the fire just as Ak had, and it did seem to serve as a good distraction for a time.

Foggy had already opened his reward before we set up camp, which had actually been five of the fruit cakes, each of which apparently gave a slew of benefits and buffs which included a 24 hour buff to healing regen, 24 hour buff to mana regen, a 5 hour experience multiplier of 1.5x, and would ward off the [Hunger] debuff for double the normal length of time. Not a bad haul in my uneducated opinion, since the experience multiplier alone would really help anyone out; not for the first time I really wished I could eat so I could snag one of those loaves. It did serve to remind me that I was coming up on my own [Hunger] debuff due to the lack of UV in this place, but that was an issue for another time.

Ak-Lok went next, pulling out a tarnished bronze amulet with a fractured gem in the center; half of the gem being ruby while the half below the fracture was the light blue of aquamarine, both matching the speckled gem fragments on Ak’s stone crown. I peered closely to examine the item better as Ak put it on.

[Frostfire Guardian Amulet. Type: Accessory, Neck. Rarity: Rare. Defense: +5% Elemental Resistance. Effect: Increases the chance that a fire ability will add a Burn effect and that a frost ability will add a Frozen effect by 11%. Increase Projectile Expertise by +5%]

“Oh wow, nice get,” I said to Ak, breaking the awkward silence. “Seems like so far both rewards are a little on the nose.”

“That is how dungeon trial rewards are,” Aeronik snipped. “Many are unique those who compete in the trials. Everyone knows that, except those odd dungeons from your world, I suppose.”

“We don’t have dungeons! No, no. You know what? Let’s just drop it. Sure, my dungeons don’t do or do whatever you say they do. Easy enough?”

Aeronik went next, pulling out a long, thin bone that was a pale shade of cream white and was pitted throughout as if to grip better. At first I thought it was a new spear, which the bee desperately needed, but after giving it a brief inspection I learned it was actually… just a bone. Sort of.

[Totem of the Last Melnibone. Type: Artifact. Rarity: Legendary. Details: In his final days, in his last moments embracing sunlight’s kiss, the last king of the lost Melnibone etched a totem. These long bones were made by the high nobility of this once prosperous race and handed down to their newest warriors as a sign of luck and good fortune. It is said that the last king, the final living being of his race, carved a secret of the Melnibone people into this totem to be found by a future descendant]

Well that was long winded and strange. No idea what any of it meant, outside of Aeronik’s strange mutagen that sounded suspiciously like whatever extinct people made that totem. Was going to question it more, especially given the awestruck look he had given the big bone stick thing, but then I decided not to ask any questions since I could give two whole steaming shits about Aeronik.

Fogdahn went next, receiving some orb of… dirt. Dirt? Yeah, definitely dirt. Or poop. Regardless, it was a big circle of some type of compacted brown stuff that looked a lot like one of the two things I mentioned. He examined it carefully, studying the ball of stuff carefully, before he shrugged and decided to toss it behind him like discarded trash.

“Hey! Hold on!” I said, Scrappy rushing off to grab the thing as if reading my thoughts. “Don’t just throw stuff out without talking to us! What if it’s important?”

“It is not,” he answered. “After my prior rewards I had hoped for better. Keep it if it pleases you.”

Scrappy came waddling back, the orb he held nearly half the size of him and twice as wide; though with his added levels he had gotten genuinely larger overall. He heaved the dirt ball over to me and I took it from him, offering a fist bump of gratitude with the little guy. Twisting the orb in my hand, I was able to confirm it was indeed dirt and not shit which was already a win.

[Mudweaver Golem Core. Type: Golem Component. Rarity: Scarce. Details: A core able to be utilized by a Golemancer or a Golemancer base class for the creation of a single Mudweaver Golem]

“A new golem? And you just toss it aside like that? Dude, what is your problem?”

Fogdahn sighed. “It is worthless to me. The Loks core and Bellbane’s core had both been of higher rarity. As I said, golems receive but a single life and cannot be resummoned; it is the payoff for their natural might and storied legacy, for having a golem is as if you are holding a piece of history itself. At my current rank I may but employ a single golem for myself unless I unbind them, which is a… treacherous process that I already must perform again in the near future. I do not wish to waste precious resources on a subpar ally.”

“Well, is there a way you can, like, make the golem and give it away? I’d be happy to have another familiar, and I’d even go through the unbinding process myself. Honestly, seems better to give them some form of freedom if possible,” I said, reaching out to hand him the orb again.

“Perhaps…” Fogdahn answered, taking the orb and placing it into his own pouch. “When we are finished I will see what I can do. If I cannot find a way then I will gift you the core itself, and you may search for another on your travels.”

I nodded in agreement, hoping he would be able to find a way. I was now the last to open their reward, and I could feel the other’s gazes on me in anticipation. It was exciting, I won’t lie. It was like the big mystery gift at your childhood birthday party, except instead of wrapping paper it was just some burlap sack tied with string. Still, what could be in there? A new sword? A shield? Some powerful artifact that will be in handy later? A powerful book containing a catastrophic new spell?

Oh come on, you know what kind of story this is by now.

I reached in, gloved fingers anxiously perusing the confines of the bag for my grand prize when I found something. I found it! A long piece of thick string or twine, maybe even a thin leather rope of some kind, attached to a golden metal tube affixed with precisely carved holes and tapered at the end. It was strange, and I pulled it out to get a full look.

[Tin Penny Whistle of Sir. Jack Dawson. Type: Instrument. Rarity: Legendary. Effect: Teaches the user of this penny whistle one song with an immediate rank of Savant. Soulbound]

“Oh, God damn it…” I said, just as let down as I was for most birthdays; one year I got my clean laundry wrapped up as a gift, before you go thinking I’m spoiled or something. “Really? A flute? Recorded? Whatever this thing is?” I said up to the ceiling as if speaking to the dungeon itself.

“A fine instrument! I have never seen such craftsmanship, such sleek beauty!” Foggy bumbled his way over and examined it. “We do not have lovely instruments like these in Mothric. Oh how I look forward to the day when you shall serenade our troop to celebrate a battle victory!”

“What is a Jack Dawson?” Aeronik asked, but ultimately was ignored.

“Barry, you simply must play us the tune locked within this glorious metallic tube!” Foggy continued, practically bouncing from foot to foot. “Go on, enlighten our spirits and prepare us for victory on the roads ahead!”

“I agree,” Ak-Lol added.

“Just put a point into your musical expertise, which will allow you to perform on the instrument and thus unlock the song buried deep within!”

I shook my head, realizing I had lost this battle as Scrappy began to dance just from the anticipation of dancing. I brought up my expertise menu with disappointment, throwing one point into melee so as to not be totally useless, then diving under the Entertainment tab to find the Musical expertise line. 1.5% later and I was apparently a musician. I smiled, giving a nod to my anticipating audience as I placed the end of the penny whistle into my mouth, the song coming to me instantly.

“There’s just no way,” I said, pulling the whistle back and scrunching my face in frustration. “No fucking way.”

“What!? But sir berry! Oh how I was awaiting such musical revelations from you! You must perform, sir berry!”

“Huh? What happened?” Aeronik asked.

I rolled my eyes, tucking the penny whistle into my pouch and sealing it back up. “Let’s just say I’ve figured out who Jack Dawson is.” I turned to Fogdahn and asked, “So others trials might give better rewards, right? I won’t always get stuck with a gold-plated kazoo or something?”

Fogdahn nodded his affirmation. “Yes, they vary. Though most do serve a purpose even if you do not believe so at the moment.” Fogdahn laughed, his creaky tone echoing in our stone chamber. “It is why Burquinn and I veered on separate paths after the third trial, despite our success as a team together. It was a confirmation of his fall from the grace of his God.”

“Oh? And what treasure could be so harmful as to cause this ripple, brother?” Foggy asked him, leaning over in his seat. “Surely a former Lord can see when a venture would be most profitable, regardless of jealousy over rewards gained.”

Fogdahn silently reached into his pouch, slowly pulling out what looked like a long stretch of intertwined stems with huge thorns protruding from the surface. Aeronik and Foggy both gasped in unison as the full length was removed from his storage pouch. He held it up, the intricate woven wood ending with a clasp on either side of it, sort of like a…

[Thorned Belt of the Briar Lord]