Day 1

The Inevitable of Humanity enters The World and loses all his powers and memories. He meets up with an impractically named demon, and agrees to become his student.

Day 2

The nameless human followed the demon eagerly, ready to learn the ways of rage. The demon had assured him that, by the end of his instruction, he would know.

Day 3

His instruction had begun. The demon started with a rousing, four hour long sermon followed by a promise that the real lessons would begin shortly.

Day 5

His instructions had not yet begun. Every day the sermon got longer, followed by the same promise that the real lessons would begin soon.

Day 7

The man sat bored as he listened to a horse demon with an impractically long name preach about the virtues of evil. The plain looking human male was, in fact, the Inevitable of Humanity, a being of godlike power and knowledge, but he'd forgotten all about that. Right now, he was just a human in a body that was about thirty years old, give or take, wondering just exactly when he was going to learn why he was so angry all the time. Though, considering the last seven days, he felt he had a good reason to be angry right now.

It had seemed like a good idea at the time, going with the demon, because that guy had been covered in blood, had a scythe, and seemed like he knew a thing or two about rage. Then, as soon as they got back to what turned out to be a little wooden schoolhouse on a dirt hill in the middle of hell, the demon washed up, put on a white priest's outfit, and started preaching for a while, and then left.

Now?

He'd been preaching for three days straight without rest or break, without even seeing if his student was awake or alive. The nameless human knew this, because he'd fallen asleep several times, and even left the building to relieve himself, and the demon had kept going on and on. The demonic creature seemed to be in the grip of some kind of religious ecstasy, riffing it and just going crazy with the anti-hallelujah shit. Stuff like 'The great Corruptors will do their work upon the Redeemers and bring them home,' and 'Forgiveness is a sin taught by Redeemers, who seek to stain your soul white.' Spooky shit like that, unending, for days straight.

“I don't know why I'm here,” the man said, squaring his jaw, finally pissed off enough for independent action, “but I'm pretty sure it's not for this,” he said, then nodded to himself and covertly got up. While the demon preached, the man started looking around, opening shelves and containers, seeing if there was anything useful around. He'd been too nervous to really start rifling through everything before, but now he was too angry to care.

The demon was jawing away, something about the appropriate way to dominate those with less power, blah blah blah!

The human male then noticed that behind the preaching horse demon, there was a glass container with a single, shiny book behind a thin glass window. His heart started pounding, and all he could think was, 'I really want that book'. It had that sort of glimmer and glint that simian hominids are willing to go to war over, that liquid candy color of jewels and that unmistakable allure gold.

The book was not beautiful. The book was sexy, it was hot, and the nameless human wanted it bad. Especially because he'd be stealing it from the demon, who was a fucking conman.

So, demonstrating a shocking lack of both respect and basic self preservation instincts, the nameless human edged around the edge of the little wooden schoolhouse and 'snuck' his way closer to the magical, enticing book. It didn't take him that long, as the schoolhouse wasn't that big. He looked at the back of the demon and listened.

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Yep, still in his own little world.

With a quick strike of his elbow, he shattered the glass, and then stole the book. The demon was still preaching, now slamming his large, dangerous looking hands on his desk as he proclaimed that he personally, the demon, was God, and the rest of the universe was his own fractured self, and that his mission was to unite the universe under himself and restore order. In the same breath, he denounced all the other demons as false gods for making the exact same claim, and that they ought to be ashamed of themselves.

Fucking psycho, the nameless human thought as he ran from the room, holding the book, which was titled 'The Complete Manual of Illusion Magic, Magical Contracts and Hellgates'. The nameless human was giddy and laughing, running back to the portal labyrinth without a care in the world.

Back in the schoolhouse, the preaching demon stopped shouting and smirked, his mission accomplished. Another student had successfully learned to utilize their anger as the impetus for action, and another extremely dangerous book had been freed from its prison. He was so pleased with himself that he went to an extremely famous Underworld bar and sobbed his soul out all night, with a bunch of other hell fiends who were also indulging in sorrow and self-pity; without getting into too much detail, morally inverted beings like demons enjoyed sadness the same way normal entities enjoyed, er, joy.

If you find yourself coming to a complete and comprehensive understanding of moral inversion, please seek a spiritually enlightened being and request aid immediately.

The nameless human, meanwhile, wandered the hellish maze, which was more hellish than actually dangerous, examining blood red portal after blood red portal. None of them were labeled, yet he got a. . . feeling from each of them. It was as though there were some higher power, or some powerful intuition inside of him that guided all his actions.

He, personally, was highly suspicious of this higher power or powerful intuition, and immediately started rebelling and pushing against it, and it ceased.

“Good,” the nameless human said, patting his book to make sure it was still there, and then selecting a portal at 'random'. It's worth noting that his 'higher power' and his 'powerful intuition' had piloted him expertly into this particular portal, and that his higher power and powerful intuition was in-fact his own damn Inevitability guiding his actions.

If the Inevitable were able to comment on this situation, he would say that being a powerful spirit incarnated without any power or memory was exhausting, and that he didn't wish it on anyone. He would also make some sort of comment along the lines of 'we are all our own worst enemies' and then went back to trying and failing to help himself.

The portal was like cool mist on his skin, not that he had any experience with cool mist, and when he stepped through, he felt something like a pulse explode gently out from his body, like an atomic explosion with the destructive power of really soft marshmallows. It moved fast and hit everything without breaking anything. At that exact same moment, everyone else in The World received an extremely ominous announcement about a hostile Lord of The Beyond, and a suspiciously named Easy Mode.

“Huh,” he said, then promptly stopped thinking about it.

The nameless human stood on the edge of an enormous forest with trees so tall and a canopy so dense that it was like a cavern. He was surrounded by greenery and vegetation so enormous it made him feel like a tiny bug. He did the only thing that made sense to him, which was to start walking in the direction he was facing.

–

The System sat in a room that was shining brighter than most stars, the light an indication of how focused he was on this particular instance of himself. He watched as The Inevitable walked, and incidentally, walked in the direction of Solas, and his focus never wavered.

He felt the alarm go off, which he never thought he would experience, because why would a Lord of The Beyond ever end up in his little world! But, it had happened.

The System had given this particular instance sweat glands, just so he could sweat profusely as he pressed the extremely large, danger-red button that said 'Easy Mode'. He shut his eyes, looked away from it, and then slammed his hand down and pressed it. When his pocket reality didn't collapse along with the total destruction of The World and all its inhabitants, The System let out an extremely nervous laugh.

“See!” he said, shakily pouring himself a drink and spilling most of it, “I knew it wouldn't break anything! Woohoooo!” he took the drink, and the entirety of the other System instances also started drinking as events filtered through their mental connection.

That night was, uh, really weird for level ups and skill gains. The System, unfortunately, wrote the entire Easy Mode newsletter when he was Cosmic Entity Level drunk, and then sent it out like a booty call mass text to all contacts at two in the morning.

Needless to say, everybody was worried after that.

HI EVERYBODY, THIS IS THE AUTHOR.

EVERYTHING YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ AFTER THIS CHAPTER IS NO LONGER CANON. IT IS ENTERTAINING, BUT IT IS NOT REAL IN ANY WAY.

I'm leaving this abandoned draft up because while it's a train wreck, it's also an entertaining train wreck.

Hyperlink in the post chapter notes below