Chapter 63

The Audit (Part I)

What is the number one way to ensure that people are held accountable and fun is avoided at all costs? That’s right, an audit. Feeling too productive? A member of your staff creating not one but two known miraculous spells that forever change the landscape of the world, audit them, likely something in the water.

You, know I would almost feel offended by this, if it wasn’t for the fact that it likely means that I am close to getting something to happen correctly. I mean, I can almost feel it, the way the system is just winding back, trying to throw a changeup at me, trying to get me off of my game. Likely there is some dirt that is being generated now, dirt that I will have to atone for, or a scandal that would require me to do something against my better judgement. Likely something that would try to morally compromise me in some way.

Of course, now that I am thinking about all the different ways that I could be compromised, I wonder if there is something to the idea that there is likely something wrong with the water? Yes, random thought number one leading me to think about the overarching hidden quest of this city that I received on day one here.

Quest: The Toxic Nature of Crossroads: You have found that the guards of crossroads have an open contract with the Apothecary Guild to create Detox potions. You can either create Detox potions to turn in for money, or you can investigate the cause of why so many Detox potions are needed in the first place. Reward: variable.

Now that I have the thought, I can’t help but wonder if there might be some people that claim that there is something in the water? At the very least there is something under the ground on the far edge of town where the mine shafts go down so far that they either create a separate zone or indicate the start of a new mini dungeon.

I wonder if there could in fact be a mini dungeon in the middle of a tower. Logically there could, I mean this tower is allegedly infinite at this point, but contextually I feel that having a dungeon inside a tower would just be too much, though who am I to judge really, I mean at this point I should recognize that I have far greater bridges to burn, and ledgers to adjust than just worrying about the realization that there likely has to either be a mini dungeon, the end of a zone, or something else entirely to indicate why my prevailing senses cannot see through the ground and into the caverns that are housing something truly horrific. Yeah, again, honestly at this point I realize that with my new ability to generate simulacrums I could go explore the mine and not arouse suspicion about my absence from the mage’s guild at the same time. That, or I could go and work on my status at the Apothecary and Mechanics guilds as well. In fact, if I leveled up my secondary class enough, I would think it only natural that I would eventually be able to generate two or more simulacrums and have them all run around at the same time. For a moment, I have a grand dream of being the leader of every guild hall here, and running this town with an iron like grip. I think about it, then instantly discard the idea entirely as that would be way too much work and responsibility. Honestly the only reason why I am so keen on keeping this job is I hate trying to learn new bosses, especially considering the fact that my last boss just up and quit on me. Yeah, I know, he didn’t quit, he completed his life goals and ultimately achieved inner peace, but that is just a fancier way of saying he quit on his other ambitions, like me. You know, it is with that last comment that I realize there might be some truth to the system message that I am selfish, I still think it is a bit harsh, but I can see some truth to it. Though honestly I am happy that the Guild Master left, and even happier that I could pose as him to assign myself repeatable quests that are super easy and fun to accomplish. I just wish that I now wasn’t left scrambling trying to figure out how things are going to work out.

Still, I can do this.

While there is the immediate limitation that for the moment my Simulacrum and me are two different entities and we can sync our thoughts when we are in the same room, I find that now that I am in the Guild Master’s room there is a slight disconnect between me and my Simulacrum. Of course, there is an easy fix to this, as I for the first time in a long time open up Telepathy, and establish a mental link between me and my Simulacrum.

The minute I do, I am flooded with a scene of gray and dulled tones. I also oddly realize that my Death Shroud covers the Simulacrum without costing me one of my spots. This is good as it means that my Simulacrum being an extension of my soul will not burn away in this realm. Furthermore, keeping the Simulacrum alive does not cost one of the two shroud spots. Realizing the Merit, I shake my head at how wasteful I was with it, when I healed Mr. Charles Ashcroft, part of the issue was that he had to ingest so many spirit resistance potions. With the shroud I could have protected both him and his caretaker while he waited. Of course, that likely would lead to more problems down the road if everyone knew I could bestow such blanket immunities, so it was likely a good thing that they didn’t know, but this is just me rationalizing after the fact. You know, at this thought, I realize I might really be selfish and that I might want to work on fixing myself, at least slightly. I’m still awesome, but I could be more so, if I learned to think about others more, and not just think about what I could learn or try to do on any particular patient.

Wow, I’m guild master for only an hour and already I am trying to overhaul how our Healer’s wing thinks and reacts to the world.

“For what it’s worth. I am okay with you just the way you are. I think you are doing a great job as my new boss.” My Simulacrum thinks to me.

Hearing that, I chuckle slightly. Then reply on our mental connection, “you know I think you are my favorite employee…”

And just as I have this thought we both have the realization that this might be part of the issues the system seems to have with us.

“You know, I almost wonder if some of these really annoying quests are ones that the system throws out just to show us how annoying we are, and to make us learn a life lesson. Also, possibly part of their way of saying to stop messing up their yard.” Simulacrum me thinks.

Again, it is odd hearing my thoughts being echoed to me from a separate source of intelligence. It is both my own thoughts, and not my own thoughts at the same time. Also, still being able to experience colors, or lack thereof in the world around me is completely odd. I don’t know how normal people deal with seeing, it is just so limited.

“You know, I don’t think we annoyed the system all that much. This is likely something they do for everyone. Set up tasks that make them try harder or learn to adapt to an ever changing environment.” I respond back mentally trying to intone the wordings and mannerisms of the Guild Master, I only have a few hours to practice.

“We are getting audited. Not just any audit, but a surprise audit. If that isn’t a sign that we annoyed the system, then I don’t know what is.” Simulacrum me points out.

With that, I can’t really refute the claim, especially when I pull up the quest that set this whole thing in motion.

Warning Urgent Guild Master Quest: Surprise Audit: Your branch of the Mage’s Guild is being hit with a surprise audit inspection. Do not worry, you are not accused of any wrongdoing, yet. You are just being investigated due to a string of recent quest creation and completions. Reward: Experience, maintain control of your guild branch.

Estimated time until arrival of audit team: 7 Hours: 21 Minutes…

If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it.

Seeing the time remaining, I realize that I haven’t wasted nearly as much time as I originally expected. I almost wonder if I should try to warn everyone of the Surprise Audit, but then think better on it. It is a surprise after all, there might be issues if I tell others about this, also I have a lot of stuff to do between now and the time they arrive. A time that is coincidentally the same time that Simulacrum me should be performing their reading club. A club that now takes place within the Mage’s Guild. I wonder if that is going to cause issues with the audit. I wonder this for about four seconds, before I realize it doesn’t really matter at this point. For the moment I have my plans, I am going to work on my skills, Simulacrum me is going to work on improving her skills, and Zero, well he is going to continue doing what he does best, namely help me take advantage of some of these easy repeatable quests right now. Then right on cue, he completes another set of the task that I assigned for him.

Daily Repeatable Quest Complete: Quest for Knowledge: You are rather young for your intended position and the recent prestige you have garnered for yourself. To help make up for your perceived shortcomings, you must read at least one book from the Mage’s Guild Library’s Restricted section each day. Rewards: Experience, Skills.

Experience Gained: 5/5.

Experience Gained: 5/5.

With those two books done, he puts the books away and takes out two more that he then begins flipping through at a fairly quick pace. Yes, just like everyone else I am using my familiar to help power level me, though unlike how I imagine most people would use their dragon familiar to help power level them, I literally have mine being my receptionist, and book page turner. I know, you probably think that I am just wasting his true potential, but we have tried to get him to use his feet to turn two more books and that just ends with a bunch of confetti if he is not careful. Honestly, two books at once is probably his limit for now.

Though I am now getting close to being power leveled, as I am now just eighty experience points way from reaching level 2 in my secondary class, or a total of 16 more books. Or just 2,680 experience points from increasing my primary class once more, you know just 536 books, or 21 and a half complete shelving units. You know, I can see why the audit team is coming, I hope they might have easier ways to help power level me that I am not even thinking about. Still that is a question for them when they arrive, until then, I must prepare myself.

***

Brrinngg.

The bell over the Mage Guild door jingles loudly indicating that a new group of people have come.

The bell is heard by my Simulacrum who instantly shares the sensation over our mental link, letting me know there is a team of four high level mages that have just entered the Mage’s Guild. Of course, Simulacrum being able to see, doesn’t realize that I have been tracking this group of mages since they got off the most recent train.

“Good afternoon, how may I assist you today at the Crossroad’s Mage’s Guild Hall?” Christa, the receptionist asks, as her voice is echoed in a slight delay through my mental link with Simulacrum me. I say there is a slight delay, as I can see the lips moving just a split second before I hear the words getting passed. It honestly looks like a bad dubbing event where the words and timing are just a split second delayed. Ultimately it is annoying, but nothing that can’t be handled currently.

“Hi yes, my name is Trista Preventine, and we are with the Mage’s Guild Information and Acquisitions department.” The lead female agent says, as she pulls out a glowing magical badge that radiates with a deep sense of power. Just by looking at it with my Angel’s Sight, I can see that it is a powerful soul bound artifact. Seeing the object, I shake my head, as I realize that item alone is likely more powerful than all of my magical items I have on me, including the stolen garments that I have temporarily borrowed from the Guild Master’s office. Don’t worry, I have a quest for it, so these are not stolen items, or items that cost me money, but rather quest items, meaning I can wield and carry them at the very moment.

Also, I don’t know if it was intended to be heard or not, but Christa said the letters “I.A.” loudly enough to be heard by me. Only after a second, did I realize that Christa had used a personalized communication device that goes from the front desk to my office. That was why I heard the whispered warning, at almost the same exact time as I finished hearing agent Trista introduce herself. Before I could get too caught up in the item used by the receptionist, the conversation continues.

“We have set up an appointment with your Guild Master about a string of odd quests that have been issued by his hand over the past 24 hours.” Trista continues as she puts away her badge and then proceeds to go closer to Christa.

“Oh,” was all Christa said.

“Actually, what is your name?” Trista asks.

“Christa, Christa Xi. I am the receptionist here.” Christa said, suddenly sounding a bit more anxious than she likely should have. Then again, these all looked to be fairly powerful mages from the main mage’s guild. They all also had some form of spirit resistance potion in their bodies as I could tell that by looking at them that all four were flesh and bone creatures, which made sense if they came directly from the mortal realm to look into this matter. Still this did make me wonder if there were potential other mage guild halls in other realms much like this one? Or did the other guild branches get wiped out by murder hobos the same way this one almost did. I know for a fact that had I not stuck around here, this town would not be where it was currently. Though then again that might just be me being shallow and thinking that I did a lot by just staying put and trying to start a new life and career.

At the confirmation of the name, one of the males in the group pulls up a dossier and immediately flips to Christa’s section. They tried to flip through quickly, but it wasn’t fast enough for me to not notice and be able to read everything on the pages. Again, here in the spirit realm my Blind Eidetic Speed Reading skill was at well over 140, making it so that just shuffling through pages was more than enough for me to read and internalize every piece of information.

Looking at the dossiers they had, it was clear that my recent escapade of giving everyone multiple hidden repeatable quests that were all at the minimum threshold for their levels was what sparked this audit.

Christa Xi: Class Magical Assistant: Support Class Role.

Level 152.

Number of active quests (22)

Number of repeatable daily quests (5)

Seeing that, I realize that assigning her four repeatable quests all at once to hide the quests I assigned to myself might have been a bit much, especially considering the fact that she apparently only had one before I started yesterday, and that one was also one that the former Guild Master also provided her.

“Ms. Xi, we have a few questions we would like to ask you about your relationship with the Guild Master.”

“With Herbert?” Christa asks, a note of concern filling her voice.

“So you are on a first name basis with him, despite the level gap?” Trista asked, her tone sounding concerned, but it was clear that she was clearly digging for something.

“What? I don’t think I know what you mean?” Christa responds, sounding more than a little confused.

“Come on now, we have to ask, you are a pretty girl, surely you have noticed the way the guild master might stare at you from time to time?” Trista asks.

At that, I feel sweat forming on my face, as I wonder if the Guild Master was some form of pervert and now I am just perpetuating a pervert’s cause. Fortunately, that concern is quickly dispelled by Christa.

“WHAT, NO!”

“You mean, Herbert hasn’t asked you to compromise your morals recently? Especially not for any favors? Any hidden favors?” The second female from the group of evenly mixed inspectors asks, pulling up next to Trista, apparently trying to help play the role of the caring citizen.

At this, I realize the reason for the audit, and I feel so stupid about it all things considered. The guild master is, aside from Zero, the only male in this guild hall. All of the other males that had been part of this guild hall died when the regressors went through town a few months back and scorched everything to bedrock. The Guild master was a male, but that was the only male that came to help out at the Mage’s Guild, everyone else was a female. The former leader of the healer’s guild, my former boss for half a second, Mr. Kiren was a male, but he died on that same day. Wow, I never even thought about it that way. But here it is, and I can almost see the case being made. There is one male who suddenly starts assigning a lot of daily repeatable quests that are easy to complete, so long as you know what to look for and people can’t help but ask if some form of favors were offered in exchange for the relatively easy quests being offered.

“No, eww, that is gross. Mr. Quencher is not like that.” Christa vehemently denied.

Seeing Christa’s response, I can’t help but let out a long sigh of relief, good I am not in the body of someone truly repugnant.

A few more questions are asked, some by the two males, others redirected by the two females. After a time, there is a pause as the four confirm amongst themselves for a moment. Then after a brief time, they all seem to nod. Then seemingly in agreement, Trista steps forward and hands Christa a card. “Very good. Thank you for your time. Should the Guild Master ever make any inappropriate advances, or begin to demand more services for the quests he has offered, please contact us by using this card.”

With that, Trista handed over a Soul Bound note card, that reminded me of the one Mallory gave me, though it was clear that this one was a lot more powerful and likely able to connect to people over vast distances, unlike Mallory’s card that required me to be next to the guild representatives.

Then with that, the group made their way from the receptionist, and turning immediately to the left, headed towards the Healer’s wing. While I was slightly nervous about this, I felt relatively certain that this would be another cake walk.

“Good morning, my name is Trista Preventine, and we are with the Mage’s Guild Information and Acquisitions department.” Trista said once again taking out and flashing her guild badge, though to the Simulacrum’s eyes it looked just like a standard piece of stamped gold, nowhere near as impressive as the magical inscribed seemed to make it.

At that Simulacrum me just nodded and responded, “Cassiopeia Spiritlight, how may I help.”

Good, so far so good I thought as this almost seemed to be an exact copy of the last one.

“A pleasure to meet you. I have to ask, has your Guild Master recently made any demands or suggestions that you find disagreeable?” Trista asked.

Good, we are just going to deny this and be done with this whole farse and I will be able to power level in peace. At least that was my thought, until my Simulacrum apparently decided to go off the reservation as it were, when she responded.

“As a matter of fact, there is something I find disagreeable!”