Chapter 13
Finding Happiness In The Misery of Others
“Free food.” I tell the overgrown six-legged tiger queen and her pack. Apparently at higher levels of Telepathy, you can move from talking to humanoid creatures and go up to semi-sentient animals. This is a new perk that only came once my Telepathy Skill passed the 100-point threshold, the normal maximum for a skill.
So now, in an effort to continue to improve my skills, I am learning to talk to animals. Words obviously are beyond them but smells and images are not. Meaning, if I want to introduce my new friends, the roaming pack of giant steroid infused tigers, with my old friends the three hunters sent to grab me. All it takes is a few choice scents, a general location and the pack takes care of the rest.
Then I just get to sit back and watch my matchmaking service go to work.
This reminds me of the time I tried to set one of my sons up with the neighbor’s daughter, it didn’t go so well. Fortunately, I’ve learned a few things about relationships since then.
ROOOAAARRR!!
Oh look, they are greeting each other.
“Wha, huh?” Moose, the Adventurer says so eloquently as he is awoken from his slumber.
“Hey, I invited a few friends over for dinner. Sorry about the last-minute notice.” I tell the three mentally, as I try to explain what is happening to the trio who just sat down and began resting for the first time all day.
“You’re a demon!” Moose shouts, as he stumbles clumsily to his feet as he tries to pull out his weapons.
“That’s not very nice. You should at least give them a chance for a blind date.” I tell them.
Frosty, the wizard of the group, is going to cast his typical ice bolts.
Whoosh.
“Ah come on!” Moose shouts a faint note of pain filling his voice as it sounds like he is legitimately about to cry.
“Ah, did Frosty freeze the campfire again?”
“Not helping.” Moose shouts, as he is trying desperately to fend off two of the giant tiger creatures at once. Also, it appears that these tigers either have a lot of health or are immune to frost as they took Frosty’s blast and appear to be moving fine.
“Well how is this for helping. One of the kitties is about to sneak up from behind.”
“Haha. Not going to fall for that one again.”
Rawaarrr!
Just at that moment a third cat lunges at Moose’s exposed back. Moose turns to parry, the blow, using his gun to block the incoming claws, but ends up taking a slash to his right arm.
During this time Shifty, the thief of the group, is engaged in battling two of his own tiger creatures. Of course, this means that Frosty is the odd man out, only having to battle one. But sadly, despite the relatively safe numbers Frosty is running.
“Oh, smart move Frosty. Leaving your team to die while you escape. A noble cause. Hopefully the other two don’t see this as cowardice.” I say mentally to all three.
“What, I wasn’t…”
Rawawarrr!
The cat that had been chasing Frosty manages to catch up, striking him from behind. “Ahh!” He cries out, as he is driven to the ground.
Whimper!
At that exact moment Shifty manages to turn the tide of his own battle, as he slices one of the smaller Tigers across the side, drawing a lot of blood.
“Bite him in the ankle, then help your pack.” I mentally tell the tiger and everyone.
The tiger seeing my mental image of biting the ankle hard enough to tear the Achilles tendon, reacts almost instantly, then turns to help out its pack.
“GAH!” Frosty cries out in pain as he was effectively crippled in a matter of seconds.
“Freaken help!” Moose orders, as he has now taken multiple long slashes across his body from the three cats.
Bang. Bang. Bang.
Shotgun blasts erupt scaring the cats for a moment, before they regain their composure and begin striking. Again.
Finally, there is a moment when the six cats, a few of whom are also wounded pause. Then after a second they all flee in one cohesive group. It is amazing, especially as they use the completely dark night sky to aide in their escape.
“HAHAHA! Fuck you bitch!” Moose calls out to me, screaming like a mad man knowing that I am likely close enough to hear his cry of defiance.
HAHAHA!
“You didn’t win. They crippled ol’ Frosty there, then they stole your dinner. Also, now you have to sleep in the dark again.”
At that, I can feel the energy fade from Moose, the high from surviving a serious battle just ended in a second.
“Oh, looks like they got Shifty’s pack this time too.” I add.
With that, Shifty runs over to where he had been sleeping and all but curses in his mind. Still, I must give him kudos, the man must have taken a vow of silence or something as he does not say a single word. Of course, his thoughts are not very flattering of me, but they are his own thoughts. Though I think I am finally having some impact on him, as for the first time since this game began a week ago, he collapses to the ground and truly gives off thoughts of being defeated.
Request to leave? Do you accept? Note: All progress in the tower will be lost. Can only go onto the next floor with everyone’s approval or leave the temple with everyone’s approval. Do you wish to leave?
No, I mentally think to myself.
Request to leave?
No.
Request to leave?
No.
“Oh wow, new high score. I finally got all three of you to ask to leave at the same time.”
“Please just let us go.” Moose begs, he was one of the first to break. Sadly, I think this is a regressor thing, quitting early. The other two that aren’t regressors took far longer to break.
“I gave you the warning. You three thought I was just messing around or something.”
“I will kill you.” Moose says, collapsing into a tight ball on the ground as he begins to huddle together. “We can’t sleep, can’t eat, can’t drink without you contaminating the water.”
To my defense I just took credit for the water. That was really all them as they took a foreign water supply and drank it, without purifying the water. Anyone who has seen that Clothless and Afraid show should know that if you don’t boil your water, you die of dysentery within the first week. Still, this only adds to my mystique, claim everything that goes right, well poorly. Then anything they get, like managing to take down a wild boar for meat, make sure the vultures and beasts of the wild take their share.
“Fine. I tell you what. You all survive the next forty-eight hours, and I will accept your requests to leave.” I tell them all mentally.
“Thank you. Thank you…” Moose is all but crying. Oh man, I am so glad he can’t read my mind as I have mainly been avoiding the group for the past few days anyways, only showing up to mess with their sleep cycles. But now that I have the carrot, I am going to let them mentally exhaust themselves.
“But know, I won’t make it easy on you. AHAHAHA!” I mentally cackle at the trio, and I can all but feel their little shred of hope they all had dwindled away at that statement.
“Of course, it wouldn’t be easy.” Moose says, as he collapses to the ground panting in near exhaustion.
“Ah come on, lying down only makes it easy for the monsters to find you. Like that snake behind you.”
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“Wha, what?” Moose shouts as he is instantly up and jumping. Unfortunately, he did jump directly into the path of said snake
Hiss-strike.
“FUCK!” He cries out. Then lowers his shotgun and unleashes a shot at point blank range.
BOOM!
“AHH!” He cries out as ricochet and debris strikes him in the leg. Fortunately, though he did get the snake.
“This will be too easy.” I say, then with that, I have two leisure filled days where I can move about this area and explore without having to worry about messing with the trio. Of course, I will need to tuck the little tykes in each night, to make sure they feel loved, but really this is my time to explore, so that is what I do.
There is a giant lake, so I decide to learn to swim. Fortunately for me, I knew how to swim form my days as a grandmother. So, after I show the basics, I feel my body instantly start to take to the correct methods, as I get a nice new skill notification.
New Skill Gained: Swimming has increased to level 1. Skill Swimming is a Strength, Dexterity, and Endurance based skill.
Of course, I had the pretty generic Bathing skill maxed out, which increased all my social traits. This was the game’s way of telling us to be hygienic and we could make more friends. Of course, my basic skills didn’t end there, as I also managed to get and unlock the following generic skills: Running, Tumbling, Acrobatics, and writing. From there I also got the generic skills for the different guilds.
From the Mage guild I got: Magic script and Magical Forensics.
From the Apothecary Guild I got Herbalism
From the Mechanics guild I got Engineering.
Then from the Thieves guild I got Forging.
Honestly, I almost feel like I’ve wasted a bit of my time looking at my lack of meaningful skills. With these two new skills I am looking at a total of 46 skills, of which I can only gain proficiency in two of them.
I could probably try to get more skills from the Adventurer’s guild, but most of those are weapons focused. There is a foraging Skill, but that one required survival to be maxed out first. Then by the time I got survival maxed out, I had lost interest in foraging. Of course, I might want to learn to forage, especially as I am soon going to need to be able to sustain myself on food and water.
Ultimately, I realize this is likely my last summer of fun. After this, I will need to knuckle down find a job, that pays for room and board, while likely choosing a guild to settle down with. That’s right, no more mad capers, no more high-octane fuel rides. Other than the occasional one-off caper, I might have to turn a new leaf of regal intrigue. Of course, I still have my strike lists, items that I would target from each guild if the empire went to war, or if I ever needed to flee in a hurry, but that was just a dream list. Also, the dream would be that I could actually enjoy the items I stole, rather than having to consume everything on the spot and hoping for the best.
I am in the middle of this mind cleansing exercise, when I feel a mind come awake. The mind is both infinite and defined. It is infinite in the fact that I don’t think I could force my thoughts on this mind the way I could the trio. But it is also defined in that I can sort of imagine where the mind’s capability ends. Of course, that ending is far greater than anything I can handle at the moment, but it is still there, nonetheless.
Momumbo.
I pause, as the first thought I read from the creature is one that I understand. At least my Polyglot skill lets me know that I have heard it or studied something similar to it in the past. Thinking about the problem, I read more and more surface thoughts, until finally I realize where I have heard the thoughts before.
Goblin? Or at least a close facsimile to goblin that I am able to piece together the rest.
“Hello.” I respond with what I think of as a standard greeting to the great mind that I feel before me.
RUMMMBLLLEEEE!!
The ground begins to shake, as I can feel the mind reacting to my thoughts.
“It speaks.” The voice of the mind responds in a deep rumbling tone.
I pause as I feel my heart beating quickly at the recognition that the voice is giving me.
“Hello, what can I call you?” I ask.
“Should I speak to the flea?” The being asks, and suddenly I almost wonder if I have begun speaking to something that I likely shouldn’t.
RUUMMMBBBLLLLEEEE!
The ground begins to vibrate and tremble. The lake I am in begins to slosh about violently. It is all I can do to paddle quickly and avoid being drowned by waves.
“What are you?” I find myself asking, though I think I have an idea. My connection with the great mind is allowing me to feel deeper connections. I swear I can almost feel the thoughts of a being so massive and powerful that it almost defies comprehension.
“What am I it asks? I am Tortoron The Great!”
At that admission, I can all but feel the mental imprint of this monster. Instantly my mind thinks back to my arrival five years ago, when I faced off against a Behemoth class monster then. At the time killing the monster meant that the sky zone I was in crashed to the ground. Being inside this giant temple, I almost get the same sense of size and grandeur from this mind. Mentally I realize I am in a temple, but then I realize this is likely not a temple. At least not in full execution, as I think the entire temple is just our going through the different layers of this giant turtle’s body.
“I am no mere Turtle! I am a Tortoise Dragon! The mightiest of all dragons!” Tortoron states defiantly. Instantly I realize my mistake as I never closed my mental link with the best. Unlike the others who so far have not been able to abuse this weakness, Tortoron seems to be mentally aware that the link goes both ways.
“Of course, I know how Telepathy works, though I am surprised that one such as you can wield it so well.” The giant creature states.
I almost take offense at the statement, but soon think better of it, as this creature’s power level is likely on a whole other plane of existence than my own.
“Aye, that it is. Though you are not without your own glory little flea. You slew Gardogazon, a worthy foe if ever there was one.”
Yep, that proved it, this was a Behemoth. Suddenly I feel very, very small.
“Worry not little flea. I do not care that you managed to slay an imposter to the ranks.”
Rumble. Rumble.
The entire time we are talking, the more I feel the ground tumble and shake.
“Are we moving?” I ask, trying to let my mind wrap around what is happening.
“That we are little flea. Every so often it is good to get out and stretch my legs for a bit.”
At that, I got a mental image of a giant turtle with a snow-capped mountain for a shell standing up and slowly walking around aimlessly. At that, I get an idea.
“Is there any destination you are heading in particular?” I ask.
“No little flea. I just need to move around while I can. Lest I find that I will one day never be able to move about again.”
At that, I could feel my mind instantly relate to the sentiment. That was part of why I made sure to constantly stay active in this new body, as my old one broke down far before my final days. My mind and spirit were just too stubborn to realize that I had quit on my body far before my body quit on me. Then by the time I recognized it was too long of a time, it was too late.
“That’s good. Actually, I know a good spot to rest.” I think, then I project an image of the Legrand Capital to the great creature, along with a mental map of the area from here all the way northeast to the opposing capital.
“You would want that I would take a nap on your enemy’s empire?”
“That is one way to put it, but yes.”
“You would ask that I willingly subject myself to lie down in the nest of fleas?”
At that question I pause. “Are you afraid of us fleas?”
“What! I would never lower myself to be frightened of mere insects. I just wished to know what it was you requested.”
“Then yes, I request you walk to the Legrand Capital and sleep there.”
“I shall see to your request, provided you tell me of your story of slaying the great flying worm Gardogazon.”
Unique Badge Shop Exchange Option. Tortoron the Great has offered you a trade. Trade the remainder of you Gardogazon Slayer badge in order to encourage Tortoron the Great to leave the Maltese Empire and enter the Legrand Empire. Do you accept?
WHAT! I could not believe the message, but I accepted it almost instantly. “Yes. A thousand times yes. I would gladly tell you of my times and trials against the great flying worm Gardogazon and its slimy tongue of doom.” I shared.
Gardogazon Slayer (500). You managed to kill the legendary Gardogazon. (Fully Removed)
Then just like that, I could feel my badge that still had a few more stories in it, get ripped from my person as I began telling Tortoron of my mad plan to survive and how I was sent by a trial of worth by the gods in order to prove my worth.
Rumble.
Request to leave?
Rumble.
Request to leave?
Rumble.
Request to leave?
With each monstrous step the Behemoth of this tower takes, the more the three Adventurers all but plead with me to release them. Of course, I can’t let them go now, as that will likely cause Tortoron to stop moving towards my intended destination.
The Legrand Empire wanted to fight with a mere warship, I nearly find myself laughing at the thought, as I want to see what they think about this Behemoth. Based on the size and power, I think this is likely one of the first world powers. A behemoth so old that they were all but forgotten as part of the background lore of the world. Still the fact that I could communicate with this creature at all spoke volumes to the game.
“I must say, I am impressed. You do not wantonly kill like so many other fleas do. With that I will not go through with your plan of destruction.” Tortoron says.
“What?” I mentally reply not quite certain what is happening.
“No little flea. The place you speak of is far too far away. I will stop right here.”
RUMMMMMMBBBBLLLLEEE!!!
“Here we are at the half way point to your destiny. Still well within the border of your enemy, but nowhere near their capital. Let this serve as a lesson to them. Let them learn from their mistakes.” Tortoron the Great Turtle Dragon said, his voice speaking of sounding excessively tired for such a short trip.
I want to argue with him, to warn him that if he doesn’t keep going that it will make him that much weaker in the long run, but I can’t argue with the great beast.
Instead, I realize this is a blessing, not only did I remove a potentially dangerous threat from my own kingdom’s border, but it is right here in my neighboring kingdom. A sign that there might be more to worry about than a neighbor at your door. Then sadly I realize this is likely it, my last moment of entertainment before I gain a class, unlock my potential and most importantly the time when I will be forced to eat and drink to survive. Then as if continuing to read my thoughts Tortoron speaks
“One year, that is when you will have to eat and drink?”
“Yeah.” I respond, my mind acknowledging the game mechanics to the massive behemoth.
“That is also when you will see exactly what your magic affinity is?”
“Yes.”
With that, I fan feel Tortoron doing the mental equivalent of a head nod as he seems to come to some form of personal decision.
“Very well then. Come back to me the day before your awakening day. If you come back to me on that day I will reward you with my own blessing.”
Quest Received: Blessing of Tortoron: You have drawn the attention of Tortoron the Great Tortoise Dragon. Go back to his resting in the Legrand Empire on the day before your thirteenth birthday to receive Tortoron’s blessing.
At that, I pause, as I realize that this might be a bit more than I expected. Just getting Tortoron to collapse on the enemy capital was one thing. But now I would have to escape the area, without aid of my Media Blackout until I got back to the Maltese border. Then I would have to make the same trek back in just under eleven months from now to receive a blessing from an original Behemoth?
I pause as the complete ramifications of what is being offered hits me. Then I smile as I realize this is exactly what I need as a final hoorah to end my life of being a carefree child and mark the start of adulthood.
“Deal.” I think.
“Very good. I believe I shall nap for a bit before then. See you then little flea. YAWN!” With that the giant Tortoron mentally let out a long yawn, as he all but collapsed to the ground.
Splash.
Oof!
I feel my body get slammed about in the now much smaller pool of water. Only once the ground stops rumbling do I realize we stopped moving.
My mind pauses as I try to understand what just happened, when I realize that the giant tortoise dragon likely made good on their promise. We have arrived at the capital of Legrand.
Request to leave?
This time, I only take a few seconds to change out of my white healer clothes and switch into my dry black clothes, cape, and tri-focal lenses. Then with my uniform changed and My mind made up. I decide to end the suffering of my three prisoners.
“Yes.” I say, and with that, I feel my body forcefully being expelled out of the giant mountain that is now clear of all snow and find myself in the middle of a destroyed open field, in the heart of enemy territory. Realizing that I am no longer covered by Media Blackout and that I might as well live off of the infamy.
I emerge and CACKLE loudly.
MUWAHAHAHA!
I say as I pull up my Thieves mask and begin running through the open countryside, before I begin a series of rapid jumps away, trying to get to safety as quickly as possible.
I know I will be caught by the feeds that are able to pick up my every movement and action in other countries, but so what. I will gladly take the wrap for this one, especially as no real damage was noted. I just rode a giant Behemoth for a few dozen kilometers before it decided to drop down and take nap in a neighboring country.
After all how many people can say they completed a legendary campaign. One where they intercepted an enemy airship on the way to a third-party nation where you managed to steal items meant for a foreign king. Only to then use said stolen items to awaken a slumbering behemoth and convince it to march into an enemy nations territory, even if the result was just the reallocation of natural resources than anything.
New Feat Recorded: Legendary Caper (100). You performed a legendary caper and managed to survive. New Feat Recorded: Behemoth Whisperer (100). You managed to convince a Behemoth to do anything other than attack you.
Thinking back on it, I still don’t know how I managed to do that. Other than my speaking goblin, or at least a variant thereof, which the tortoise dragon apparently knew, I should not have been able to speak with the creature. Let alone convince it to march out of its way. Though given its size the distance covered was the equivalent of a walk around the block for the giant behemoth. Of course, I am not entirely out of the woods just yet.
“Stop Thief!” A border guard calls out from a flying contingent of airships that has been sent out to investigate the strange occurrence of a Behemoth randomly walking in their kingdom.
And there it is, the start of how this will all go sideways. Still, even now I feel a slight smile forming on my lips as I all but imagine the border being a giant finish line for me, and this, well this is just a chase through the countryside. Suddenly I imagine myself being a fox leading the hounds through the countryside. This is going to be fun.