Chapter 144

Liches, Always Ruining The Best Things

Whoosh!

There is an explosion of force, before I feel every muscle in my body contract and spasm. Then what feels like a miniature implosion in my stomach that almost feels like the start of a black hole opening up withinside me, attracting in all my Qi and any possible remaining Qi in the area around me, before it condenses down to a spot the size of the tip of my pinky finger.

Trembling.

There is so much pain, relief, and force all at once that it is almost too much to handle. Once again, I feel a burst of impurities trying to exit my body. Fortunately, this time, the whole purging process happens a lot faster than previously as I sweat out mana infused sweat into the still and stagnant water that is around me.

Yes, while the pool was once filled with vibrant golden Qi moments ago. That same water has since been purged of its golden beauty and now I can feel the grime of slime coating my body in the water. A quick cleansing spell should clear up the water that has sat here collecting Qi run off water for millennia, but unfortunately nothing like that exists.

In my mind, I am glad that there isn’t a super virus or algae that managed to grow in this overgrown pond. Apparently, Qi is more than just corrosive to skeletons as it apparently destroyed most of the mold and grime that had tried to grow in these waters over the years. Now it was just me, the water and thousands of year-old algae flakes that have now broken away from wherever they were hanging, thanks to my spasming, and of course me.

I can see the Knight and Lieutenant have both turned around, their hands covering their eyes as they don’t wish to look at a young fourteen-year-old maiden bathing, very noble. The Lich is there just staring at me like the ultimate boney creek, its jaw hanging down to its chest while its eyes take in everything I am doing creepily. Not that a Lich can look at you any other way, but still.

Then just when I don’t think it can get any worse, there is a sudden pop. The bead of light that was the size of my pinky finger once again returns, the same exact size, but seemingly at twice the density as before.

Just as I marvel about that little feat of physics, I get a system notification about the change.

Hidden Cultivator Quest II Completed (Upgradeable): First To Form A Stage II Perfect Qi Core: You managed to be the first person to create a perfect Stage II Qi core. Your minimalist lifestyle has made your first transition to the realm of cultivation flawless, as you had a body purity rating of 99.9999999%, resulting in your formation of a perfect base for cultivation. Rewards: Experience, Title (Upgrade), Badge (Badge Upgrade), Qi Core Stage II.

Experience Gained: 50,000 / 25,000 / 25,000

Ding.

Level Up.

Your class Akashic Qi Master has increased to level 109.

Your class Ethereal Simulacrums Master has increased to level 181.

Your class Ethereal Healer has increased to level 213.

Title Upgraded: Perfected Stage II Qi Core.

Perfected Stage II Qi Core: You have managed to create the perfect Stage II Qi core and have begun your path in the realm of true cultivation. Effects: Longevity II, Body Improvement II, Movement II, Qi Core Size II, Qi Circulation II.

Longevity: Your body has begun to slow down the effects of aging. You will now age at a rate of (N times 10%) slower.

Body Improvement: Your Strength, Dexterity, Endurance, Attractiveness, Perception, and Willpower will all be increased at a rate of (N times 10%).

Movement: Your movement speed has been increased by a rate of (N times 10%).

Qi Core Size: The size of your initial Qi core is (N times 10%) larger than standard cultivators will experience.

Qi Circulation: The speed of your Qi Circulation will be (N times 10%) faster.

Note: All ratings are at (N times 10%), where N equals the current stage of your core listed.

Once again, I got another notification that I will be younger ten percent longer. Not that I mind so much. Though now, if my math is correct, and it is, I am now going to be under the apparent age of 18 for just over 295 days, or almost eighty percent of a full year.

I might be able to pass most of this off as me just being an elf, but after a point people are going to talk. But until then, I will get my ultimate wish of staying as young and spry as possible.

Drip.

There is the unmistakable sound of water dripping down into the pond I am in. Like a miniature gong, the sound awakens me to the fact that my small face is somehow barely floating above the water, letting me breathe.

Realizing where I am, I decide to end this random bath in some creepy Lich’s underground sewage pond underneath the stone floor grate of their room.

“Right.” I say to myself. Quickly casting a quick Cleanse on the water, eliminating all the grime and mold. Yes, I know grime and mold are alive, but they don’t have to be, so I got rid of them. Then I put on my guild provided Doctor’s Uniform, then climb out of the pool.

Splash.

Water runs down from my clothes, and quickly runs back down back to the pool from which it came.

There is an awkward silence before the Lich starts speaking.

“Well, I think I speak for everyone when I say that was the most disgusting thing I have ever seen.” The Lich says.

With that, I just shrug and answer him truthfully. “You know it just goes to show, one Lich’s toxic waste is another cultivator’s way to physical and spiritual advancement.”

Rattle.

The Lich shutters so much while being revolted from my comment that he audibly clacks his bones together, in revulsion.

“Right, well, now that you have done whatever it is you have done. Please seal up my hole you have created and kindly leave my establishment.” The Lich speaks, somehow shifting to a much more cordial tone than he was when I first arrived. Likely due to the fact that we have witnesses that are watching. That or he is well and truly afraid of me.

The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

Then looking at the giant hole in his floor, along with the massive slab of broken apart stone I grimace slightly.

Mentally I reach out and Telekinetically grab the stone slab, raising it up, and flipping it back over into place. With my complete view, I easily adjust the angle of descent to be as accurate to the original placement as possible, then I drop the slab into place.

After that, it is merely a matter of changing the resonance of my mana to match the frequency of Earth Magic, and boom one solid piece of floor, right in the middle of a creepy torture chamber.

“There you go, good as new.” I say, turning to face the Lich, the Knight, and the Lieutenant.

They all just stare at me in bewilderment.

“That was fantastic.” The Knight said, looking at the completely sealed off and good as new section of stone.

“Marvelous, there isn’t a speck of dust out of place.” The Lieutenant followed.

“Impossible, that was impossible, you changed the frequency of your mana. I saw it, it started off as Spirit magic, but then you somehow changed it to Earth, when I can tell that you don’t have an affinity for Earth Magic.” The Lich said, shock evident in his words.

Hearing him, I was intrigued, not by the fact that he doubted me, but more by the fact that he could apparently tell both magical affinities and that I did change my magical resonance.

“Oh, and how are you so certain that I don’t have an affinity for Earth Magic?” I ask, starting with the softball question, wondering if he like me has a third-eye, or other lichy ability to deduce the magical affinity of people.

“This is my lair, the moment you walked in here, I got a readout of your magical affinities.” The Lich said. “While your number of affinities, seven is quite high not one of them was related to Earth Magic.”

“Seven?” The three of us all state at once.

Me, I do a quick count and stop at six, Light, Holy, Spirit, Shadow, Life, and Nature. For the life of me, I cannot figure out what the last one he is counting is.

“Yes, seven. You have Light,” he begins listing off the six affinities that I myself just listed. As he does I nod along in agreement. Then he hits me with the kicker, “then you have that weird affinity for Toxic Magic, which I was somehow unable to even register.”

“Oh.” I say, as I get it. He didn’t have any new way of detecting magics, he is just a moron. “I see the confusion. That last one the Toxic Magic, that is not a real magic, but a form of Qi. And again, Qi and mana do not go well together. In case you already forgot my earlier demonstration.” I state, then flex my hand into a glowing golden fist.

Seeing the gesture for a threat, the Lich visibly slunk away.

“Relax, it is not a threat. But I take it you have an array set up to monitor the magical capabilities of others?” I ask.

“Yes, it is a piece so intricate that one of your capabilities would likely never be able to identify it.” The Lich began, but as he said that, I was already looking with my Angel’s Sight and easily noted it as one of the least chaotic arrays he created.

“Yeah, I can, it is right there.” I say, pointing off to the direction of the focal point of the array. “Pretty ingenious too, though you did have to carve the receiver rune into your skull to receive the data. Not the smartest of moves, but then again, I am not a Lich, so I can only imagine that hurting.”

The Lich pauses, then ponders for a moment. “Yes, well, I guess you did create an entirely new body for me. And the fact that this rune was mirrored perfectly to the first one would only signify that you had some basic understanding of runes.”

Hearing this guy go on I almost wish I could roll my eyes.

“Basic understanding, please. I teach this to kids who by the time they graduate from my program will be able to note ten different flaws within your design.” I quip back. I don’t know why, it is just the arrogant demeanor of this clown that makes me want to bring him down a few notches.

Yet, before I knew it, the Lich destroyed my whole reality.

“Please, you dare think that I Arch-Mage Rahul De’Gravitas would find my skills of Enchantment lacking?” The Lich asked, a questioning boney hand covering his chest.

Shock.

Chills and shock.

That was all I could think of. I stood there, flabbergasted, my jaw hanging wide at what I had heard. Surely there must have been a mistake. Surely, I misheard him?

“Ra, Rahul? The Rahul? Conqueror of maiden’s hearts? Overthrower of the corrupt?” I ask, not wanting it to be true. I half expect anything.

Shatter.

Then with one word, he breaks apart my happy little view of the world.

“Yes, you have heard of me? I must say it has been a while since I heard those titles, but they do still feel good to hear, even if that part of my life is well and truly done.” The Lich said, as a look of sadness crossed his face.

“Done? You had the chance to be reborn. To live out your youth once more?” I asked, mentally warring with my own personal thoughts, that this could not be the same Rahul as my stories but seeing the designs. I can’t help but realize they were nearly identical copies of what Rahul himself had used, at least in his first few books.

Hearing my words, the Lich only lowered his head and sighed.

“Yes, and I am thankful that you gave me the chance. But ever since my beloved moved away and never returned, I gave up my life of debauchery and settled on being a simple Arch Wizard for the King.” The Lich said.

“The Princess? You mean…” Then my mind raced, as I tried to put together the pieces. Rahul, at least according to the stories had any woman he wanted. Yet there was one that he never got, the princess.

“You mean Octavia?” I asked.

Hearing the name, the Lich’s eyes grew violent as it began drawing forth the Death Magic within his body. “That Witch!” Rahul screamed.

Dispel.

I cast a quick but violent Dispel, letting the magic fizzle in his clenched hands.

Zap.

“Stop that.” I chided.

That alone was enough to bring the Lich back to the present. Taking a breath, I don’t know if it was a suggestive thing, I doubt Liches need to breathe, so maybe it was for dramatic effect, the Lich visibly calmed himself. Then nodding his head, he visibly calmed himself before beginning.

“No, Octavia was the lover who ended up killing my one and only true love.” The Lich began.

I was simultaneously disgusted and unable to turn away. Years of my life reading this story, and now I got to see the true start of everything. I got to see the original inspiration for the tales that had taken up so much of my time and imagination. Now, I could easily say that I was underwhelmed, but then again, I wasn’t the first person to be disillusioned when meeting their idol, though I still held hope that this was a second, less cool Rahul that also knew a bit about Enchanting.

“Who was she?” I asked, holding my breath as I finally would get the answer to the question that had plagued me. In my mind so many different names and relations raced through my mind. Then finally he spoke.

“Matilda.”

Hearing the name, I knew it sounded familiar, but I could not come up with a mental image of what Matilda looked like. Then I finally remembered where I heard the name in the stories.

“Your lizard mount thing?” I asked.

Harumph.

“Matilda was more than just a mount. She was a descendant of dragons. The true blood of the ancients lived and breathed with every breath she took.” The Lich said.

“You mount? You lost your love of women for a mount that died?” I asked, trying to fill in all the pieces.

“She died, due to a jilted lover finding her as she fled away with one of my many dalliances. She risked her life over and over for my carnal pleasures, and I was too shortsighted to see that my true love was her all along.” The Lich said, once again being overly dramatic and placing his boney hand forlornly over his chest as he recounted his tale.

“Oh my god.” I mutter, disgusted to hear that this guy went and effectively self-castrate himself into being a Lich due to the death of a friend. Then thinking about it, I don’t think the world missed too much with his sacrifice.

“I know, that is why I swore of women and devoted myself to my studies. Had it not been for my sexual desires, Matilda might still be alive to this day.” The Lich said, in a grandiose gesture, waving to the room around him.

Hearing him I just shook my head, then a thought came to my mind.

“Wait, so you had an affair with Octavia, then used Matilda to sneak Octavia away, only to then have her get captured by her father, where Matilda was killed in the process of the King bringing her daughter back?” I ask, trying to make sure I have all of the pieces together.

“Yes, now you see why I gave up women.” The Lich replied.

“But you are still here, working for the very King that killed your Matilda?” I ask, still trying to understand the story, that still felt like it was missing a few years. Or maybe brain cells from Rahul’s part.

“Yes, I was bound and branded to work for the king. Then it was either be turned into a eunuch or escape his tyranny by transforming myself into a Lich.”

“The old escape being a eunuch by turning yourself into a eunuched Lich, got it.” I say, really not getting it, but wanting this whole story to end quickly so I can go and save the four guild guards.

“Yes, I showed my uncle in the end.” The Lich said.

At that he said the word that I couldn’t help but parrot back, “uncle?”

“Yes, my uncle is the king, don’t you know? How else do you think I could survive sleeping with my cousin, the princess?” The Lich stated, clearly adding way too many details to this story that should never have been uncovered.

Bleh.

I just vomited a little in my mouth. Now I know this type of thing apparently happened a lot in the past, and genetic diversity isn’t as necessary within elven society as other races, but still, this is beyond disgusting. While there were hints of this type of thing in the stories, they were never laid bare as much as they were here and now.

With my possible sanity on the line, I refuse to follow the bait of asking any more clarifying questions about this sad tragic ending to an otherwise phenomenal twenty book series. Instead, I decided to realize the truth. There was another Rahul, and this guy is clearly an imposter.

“Yeah, well who is up for leaving here and saving my guild members?” I turn to the Knight and the Lieutenant, wanting desperately to leave here and the past twenty minutes behind forever.

“Oh wait, I need to follow you. As you have fulfilled all of my conditions.” The Lich, a person I refuse to be Rahul, states.

“No, that’s quite alright, you can stay.” I answer, going past the Lich and towards the Kight and his Lieutenant.

“No, I must keep my word. You have reminded me of times when I was a true noble who kept my word.”

“You, you kept your word by sleeping with your cousin?” I quip.

“Yes, I did promise her after all…”

Poof.

At that point I realized I didn’t need any of their help to free my guild mates. Nor did I want to hear more from that clearly creepy Lich.

Shutter.

“That is not my Rahul.” I say to myself, as I take a breath, try to forget everything, then I’m about to go see the king, when I suddenly get a great idea.

Smiling to myself, I quickly find an empty place to change, as I begin my third attempt at rescuing my fellow guild members.