Chapter 206

If Laziness Was a Verified Skill

“You know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone work as hard as you do, to all but scream that you are trying to get out of doing work.” Mallory states, a note of awe in her voice as she speaks, while holding one of my new Outsourcer 5000s.

Silence.

“That and I have to ask, do you have a skill that levels up when you give things a bad name? I mean I know you are bad at naming things, we’ve had numerous discussions about this very topic, but do you? Is that why you push yourself so hard to name such wonderous things so terribly?” Mallory asks.

“Hey, that kind of hurts.” I respond, then mentally check my long list of skills, only to find that no, despite all the skills I have, not one of them is related to naming things poorly. Though I do have to agree with Mallory, that if I did have such a skill, I would work diligently to max out that skill as well. Particularly as it would likely be linked to increasing my base potential for my Social Attributes like Personality or Sociability, both of which need a lot of attention. I then wonder if I would be able to add Attractiveness to that skill, no that would be too much. Maybe the next stage, when I knocked out the first baseline Bad Naming Skill and then went to the next stage, something like Cute but Bad Naming Skill, then I could see adding Attractiveness to that skill as it would be an implied functionality of that higher difficulty skill. As the new names would not only have to be bad, but also have a cuteness factor to them, like Pegicorns. Nope, not going to give that one up, as that is a great name.

“Let me guess, you are wondering what such a skill would award you?” Mallory asks, pulling me out of my own musings.

“Yeah, kind of. I don’t see what the big deal is.” I state, noting that the name might be bad, but that does little to nothing to take away from the functionality of the device she now holds.

“The deal? You realize that you have single handedly created the most complex magical training aid, one that could revolutionize the way people learn to use magic, and you named it as if its only reason for being created was so you could shirk your duties as an instructor of magic.” Mallory notes.

I listen, then pause half expecting more to come, but apparently Mallory stopped right there.

“And?”

“And? And?” Mallory protests, waving Gwen’s training aid device around in the air like it is a book to swat an annoying fly with. I guess in this case I would be the fly. Oh, if you are wanting to see Gwen still in her creepy old elf-man avatar sorry, I managed to change her back to her normal pregnant self before magic class began.

This is something I remember, as I remember handing Gwen that exact version, when she entered class slightly late.

I even covered for her stating what every pregnant lady wants to hear, “when is she due again?”

With that Gwen just stuck out her tongue at me, causing me to smile brightly. I am remembering this when Mallory waves the Outsourcer 5000 in my direction in irritation at the fact that my mind clearly went somewhere else. At least if my smile and her reaction to my smile meant anything.

Finally, after a second, Mallory regains her composure and then states in a feigned calm voice, one that you would use on a child who you are close to dismembering, “and now it is named in such a terrible way that we can’t hope to sell this with the intensity that it deserves.”

“Selling intensity? Do you know how tough these are to create?” I ask.

“Do you? All I’ve seen is your Simulacrum diligently working on these around the clock since you started your classes.”

“I made a few.” I argue, though I don’t even feel that assured with my own response.

Mallory just stares at me, then I pause.

“Fine, you are right, we could sell a lot more of these if it had a better name. Though I don’t think the name will be an issue once others realize what it can do.” I point out, then continue, “also I don’t want these to be mass produced. We can make it so these are specialized rewards from our college for graduating on time.”

Hearing that, Mallory pauses and then considers.

“I guess if we list it as part of the itemized training aids for the class, then the name doesn’t matter. Also, with this we could have it be as you state, give one away to graduates as a status symbol that will be in addition to their diploma.” The more Mallory spoke the more her analytical and business acumen seemed to show as she began nodding her head more fervently, the more she spoke.

I just stared at her, while she had her complete thought about this idea.

“Okay, I’m sold. We keep this as a special prize for graduates, and then offer repairs as needed for the first five years after their last class. Then charge them for repairs after the five-year mark.” Mallory states, finding more ways to get money out of graduates.

Honestly, seeing her at work in her element of trying to make money by turning a profit was a feat I was sure she was unparalleled at.

As for me, I still adhere to the mentality of being Broke. I know I don’t have that flaw anymore, but it is a tough habit to break, more of a mindset really, though even now I find that I am not held back in the same way that I used to be. Though now I don’t angle much for the comforts that money can theoretically afford me. Mainly because I am at that point in my life where the things that I would want money for are not that important, also I have gotten to the point that anything I need is provided by the Guild. Apparently even my Simulacrum can act on my behalf and order materials that come out of some grandiose budget.

I do find it odd that my Simulacrum can effectively sign me up for massive sums of guild debt without anyone catching on. Good to know if I was planning on making a big exit, bad if I intend to stick around.

“But just so you know,” Mallory began, as she spoke, I could hear a seriousness fill her words that made me both flustered and realize that I was about to get a lecture. “While we approved of this first iteration design and materials for those that will go out to guild employees, we might have to come up with a watered-down version that will be provided to non-guild students who eventually attend our college.”

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

Hearing that I could only nod in understanding. This was definitely one of those ask for forgiveness rather than permission type of scenarios. As such, I guess I should be glad that the costs are apparently going to be forgiven, or at least eaten up by the school.

“Okay.” I respond.

“Naturally the materials have come out of your personal mechanical gear manufacturing funds. Meaning you will have to wait a while before you can work on any mechanical projects you might be interested in.” Mallory notes, her face somewhat hesitant, though I can tell that getting these high-quality items were hard on her and being out in the middle of a desert region like this means getting new resources will be tough.

“Okay,” I respond. This is still not bad, as I am not being scolded for doing this.

“Now can you break it down and show me what exactly this does and how it works?” Mallory asks, still holding Gwen’s Outsourcer 5000.

“Sure,” I say as I hold out my hands to take the device.

With this both Gwen, Mallory, and even Penelope are all here to witness this invention. Actually, my Simulacrum is here as well, though she has taken the form of Sabrina to not be overly distracting to myself or others as to which one is the real me.

As I grab the device I can see that everyone is in fact interested in the device, even my own Simulacrum. Odd, as it means she knows how to copy my designs flawlessly, even getting the minute circuitry for mana to flow along correct, but she doesn’t understand all the different parts.

“Okay, so this is a standing plate. The idea is that the user simply stands on the plate like so.” I say while placing the plate under my feet, and letting my body weight hold me down in place. “This knob on the right side adjusts the difficulty, turn it forward to be forced to channel more energy, to simulate a stronger spell, turn it backwards to allow for a weaker flow, signifying a weaker spell. Then this knob on the left here adjusts the module you are on. The easier to form modules with the more simplistic runes to create are in the first few lessons. Then they gradually go harder and harder as you increase the difficulty. Again, turn towards you to lower the difficulty, turn away from you to increase the difficulty.”

“Okay, but how do we know which way is forwards, and which way is backwards?” Mallory asks.

“It’s simple, the arrow shows the direction.” I state, leaning down and pointing to the glowing arrow.

“What arrow?” Penelope asks.

At that, I realized that I might have made a simple oversight with this design. I stare at my Simulacrum who I know can only see with Angel’s Sight, when she opens her third eye. This means that she should have seen the arrow, which she clearly copied over in the designs and then could have I don’t know, made a darker imprint of that arrow for those with normal sight to see.

Realizing that my Simulacrum let me down, I just turn to her and raise my hands in a, why did you do this, gesture.

“What, I didn’t know what the arrow meant. I just copied the design as you requested.” Simulacrum Sabrina states, also showing signs of being frustrated.

This is fair, as she has been working on these things non-stop for most of the day at this point. Mentally I imagine myself being able to produce hundreds of toys thanks to an army of eventual Simulacrums just like Santa’s workshop. Though I now realize that each toy will likely require an instruction manual, apparently.

Mallory seeing the sudden tension building between me and my Simulacrum comes in with a nice save for how to get around this hangup.

“And for now I am assigning Penelope to help be your Quality Assurance manager for this product.” Mallory states, her voice sounding sweet, but it is that sweet that comes right before she is about to lose her mind.

“Okay.” Penelope exclaims, her enthusiasm is infectious as she does not see this as the annoyance factor that I do. Right now, I am trying to solve the next problem. I saw the one problem of a lack of decent training aids and materials, so I created some for my classes. Now, I still need to make my Qi Manifestation variant of the Outsource 5000, then there was something again.

And just like that, the second, but much smaller pile of energy begins to appear, as I realize I have once again forgotten something.

Then suddenly it comes to me, “dang it.”

“What?”

“What is it?”

Everyone asks, seeing that I am suddenly frustrated.

“I just remembered again that I don’t have a lesson plan for the Legendary Bloodline awakening class.” I state.

At that, Gwen asks, “didn’t you have that homework assignment for them to do?”

“I did?” I ask, then I remember, “oh yeah, I had them work on those three parts.”

“Power, Balance, and Concept.” Penelope stated, by her excitement I was certain she not only did the assignment, but was ready to go deep into her findings.

I pause, then stare at Penelope, hoping against hope that she was a Legendary Bloodline holder, but my hopes are quickly dashed as I realize nope, she is just trying to awaken her Royal Bloodline.

“Yes, of course. Glad someone was paying attention.” I state, to Gwen and Mallory.

“You totally forgot about this class, didn’t you?” Gwen asked.

“I remembered once Jhonny brought it up, but no, I spent so long teaching my other classes and working on this new project that I ended up trying to set aside my study hall time for the class, but then I got called here.” I state, feeling slightly flustered.

“You do know that you had all weekend to work on your lesson plans, right?” Mallory said.

Deep sigh.

At that I just let out a defeated sigh as I realize that Mallory is correct, but still how do I even come up with a lesson plan for a concept that is not only individualized, but also something that is deeply personal? I just don’t know.

Mallory seeing my frustration at this task, realizes that she might have pushed me a bit too much this time.

“Look, I see that you are busy and that you did a lot today. So, let me know if I can do anything to help.” Mallory says, comforting me and patting me gently on the shoulder.

Though hearing her speak, I can’t help but have an evil smile come to my lips as I just found a way to outsource yet another lesson plan.

“Really?” I ask.

Mallory must have heard something in my tone as she backed away and stared at the sudden intensity that has overcome my face.

“Yes, though again, I want to point out that it has been far too many years for me to remember exactly how or what I was doing to unlock my Legendary bloodline, only that it was a process that took me years to uncover and achieve.” Mallory states, apparently going quickly into cleanup mode for her open ended attempt to help.

Still though, that is enough, well more than enough.

“Oh, no that is more than fine. Though all I need you to do is point out your bloodline, give a basic understanding of what it is, and then explain how it follows the three tenets.” I state.

“Three tenets?” Mallory asks.

At that, I point out that “you just heard them. Power, Balance, and Concept. All I need you to do is go in state a bit about your bloodline, what your overall concept is as a Valhallian and then some of the types of quests you completed to unlock more powerful features of your bloodline, and how long it took you to accrue that much capital to truly unlock the full capabilities of your bloodline.”

Hearing that, Mallory just stared at me with surprise.

Finally, after a moment of silence I finally broke the sudden tension, with a “what?”

At that Mallory just chewed her lower lip for a second, before answering, “nothing, its just that again I was wondering if you had a skill related to being lazy or shirking your duties.”

“Hey,” I begin, but I am cut off.

“No, I mean it. It is impressive, honestly which is the only reason I will not protest. I was pulled into this role of teaching for you masterfully. Actually, I can’t even be mad given how much work you put in on a daily basis, but seriously, is this a cry for help? A sign that you have too much stress on you?” Mallory asks.

At that, I just pause, trying to understand what stress she is talking about.

“What stress?”

At that Mallory just shakes her head, “nothing, never mind,” she states to me. Then turning to Penelope, “are you good working with Thing two here on getting arrows added to each of these Outsourcers?” Mallory asks.

Penelope turns to my Simulacrum who just smiles and gives a giant thumbs up, and a sly wink to Penelope.

“Yeah, I think I’ll be good,” Penelope states, then smiles and lips out “no I won’t.” Once Mallory turns her head away from the two of them.

Seeing the wink and subsequent bi-play of Penelope, I wonder if my Simulacrum is putting the moves on Penelope? Then I wonder if I should be jealous of anything that might or might not happen between the two of them? Or if I should let them do their own thing as they are both technically avatars that are beyond the age of consent.

You know, I wonder how many other people have these types of problems with their own Simulacrums, where they act out parts of your own personality, even if it is just creating and establishing roles within your own mind.

Then I realized that I too need to get to the bloodline class. Despite having an easy schedule with having a guest speaker, I know that I will still need to be there to facilitate everything.

“All right, I am about to go teach my class. You, need to practice.” I state pointing to Gwen. Then turning to Penelope and my Sabrina Simulacrum I point out, “as for you two. Don’t do anything I would do? No, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do? Gods this is so weird. Um, just don’t do anything that would…” I begin and then trail off realizing that everything I say here will sound almost hypocritical. So, with that, I pause and start over, “you know what, just don’t get caught.”

With that Penelope lets out a melodious giggle that I could see myself falling for, eventually. My Sabrina Simulacrum just smiles widely and gives me the thumbs up. Both of them aren’t exactly filling me with confidence here, though is it sad that I think for the moment I trust Penelope more than my Simulacrum?

Then before I can get too lost in my own thoughts, I decide to head to class, “okay, I’m out.”

Poof.

Going from one messed up situation to the next, then after this I will referee some fights between starving mages and cultivators. You know, the normal life that everyone dreams of when they eventually retire, but have to do so on a budget.