Galen Vesa
“What is this, mista Whabbit? Why must you dilly-dally? You are late beyond being late. That is unacceptable, mista Whabbit.”
Doing what I normally did when hearing noises in my head, I turned to my other side and focused on sleeping. Or whatever the heck this body did when my consciousness wasn’t around.
Unfortunately, all it brought me was an angry foot ramming repeatedly against my plump ass.
Sigh.
I mean, it does seem like a sigh-worthy moment, right? For a hallucination, she was an obnoxious one.
“The number you are trying to reach has been disconnected. Permanently. Beep, beep, beep…”
“Very funny, mista Whabbit. Very funny. I had no clue you were a comedian. Now, get your ass up and come. We’ve got places to be.”
Well, it was worth a try.
Forcing my stiff body to move, I sat up and stared at the odd one. A vertigo inducing exercise. Like staring at an ever changing, human shaped kaleidoscope. She had no face to claim her own. Nor could I describe her body in any other way but ‘a woman’. And that was that. ‘The woman’ or hallucination or whatever that thing claimed to be, stood before me, thumping her foot. Annoyed, I presume. Or at the very least she did a marvelous job of parroting a cartoon I think I once watched. Or had memories of watching it. There’s a fifty-fifty chance those memories are mine so, I digress.
“Whatever you want, the answer is no. I am done playing games. Leave me the fuck alone.”
“How bold mista Whabbit. How bold and so unlike you.”
“Well, you know what they say, people change. Almost dying can do that to you. I’m an expert on that, you know. Dying. Or almost dying. Every time you brush against that line, you end up scrambled in here.”
I tapped my temple.
“Almost as if a part of you never comes back.”
“Consider me impressed, my dear Whabbit. However…”
“Leave.”
She locked her indescribable eyes on me in a deadpan stare. Did I do something to shock her? Oh, I get it.
“Were you not needing me alive and willing to cooperate, you wouldn’t be asking. Hmm, biting your lip? Did I hit the jackpot there? I don’t care. Leave. Oh, and don’t bother threatening me. I think you know how I will react to threats, do you?”
Clenching fists? Ah, I did hit a sore spot.
“Foolish Whabbit! You cannot remain here!”
“Why?”
Her jaw tightened.
“Silent treatment again? Fine by me. I don’t want to know anyway. Go get yourself some isekaid teenager and have him play adventure with you. I am not interested. Bye. Sayonara.”
She snarled at me while her eyes filled with fury.
“One!”
The odd one growled, lifting her index finger and vanished in the morning mist. Um, did I just fuck up big time? As if saying ‘yes, you did’, a curl of milk white hair slid off my head and hung just before my eyes. I tugged at the oddity and discovered it was firmly attached to my scalp.
Yay me. Now I did it. Well, maybe not? What are the chances that whatever hair dye the witch used on my hair just washed out?
Yeah. About that much… Dolt you idiot.
Twack!
I facepalmed myself. I truly earned it. Hmm, that didn’t seem to help. Should I try again?
Twack! Twack!
“Dolt, whatever idiocy you seem to be reenacting, stop and go back to sleep before I make you un-awake.”
The minified version of my sore-butt-lizard complained and turned her back to me while monopolizing our entire blanket.
Faced with unsavory odds, I did as told and laid down on my back, with my hands under my head and flaunting my bare pillows. A few silent moments later, someone’s butt wiggled itself against my side.
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“…Bad dreams?”
Erta asked. Ah, so she did care.
“You could say that.”
“That thing came again. Did it not? What did she want this time?”
“Nothing of consequence.”
Or so I hope. What evil can a single curl of white hair do among a whole mane of black locks?
“I told her to scram.”
“Did she?”
“In a sense, yes. I’m not sure whether things like her ever go away.”
The menagerie in my head being a prime example.
“What about you? Why is my mighty dragon still awake?”
Silence sprinkled with a bit of unease. Hmm, perhaps this bond is not as useless as I thought.
“Having nightmares yourself, are you? Want to share? All my shrinks told me talking is one of the ways to relieve your pain. Though, I ain’t so sure of it.”
A long and elaborate sigh, that may or may not have come from the wrong end of my dragon, told me what she thought of my idea but, oddly enough, Erta did not send me to eat a sock. Or her fist.
“Mostly I see faces of people I killed. People who I had nothing against but still end up killing. People that died because of my mistakes. People that died for me.”
A monster with a conscience.
“Nothing I can help you with, I’m afraid.”
My own similar baggage still sat untouched in a corner of my mind. I have no idea what to do with those memories. I don’t even know if they are real. Or at least I am still trying to pretend all is hunky-dory.
“I know. I can see your dreams too.”
Oh.
“I do envy you though. For you, those faces are no more but an uncertain memory. For me…”
Guilt gave me a mental kick in my butt and gestured I should hurry and hug the darn lizard. Which I did and Erta made a proper show of “suffering through” my awkward compassion then fell into a deep calm sleep. I too did doze off a moment later.
Morning came and greeted me with a dragon trying to detach my head from my neck by tugging at the bunch of white hair hanging over my forehead. Thankfully neither my neck nor my hair gave up, so I am proud to announce that this dolt remained in one piece.
“It is not coming off.”
Said the intrigued lizard.
“I noticed.”
“The odd one did it?”
“If it’s not mana related then, I suppose so. Can’t see any other reason. Should I worry?”
Erta shrugged.
“Time will tell. I cannot detect anything wrong with your body so perhaps it is nothing of concern. Or I may be horribly wrong, and we all shall perish when your mana pimple pops.”
A pimple?!
The mana gathered within me sloshed around hard enough to cause the ground under me to crack.
“Oy, don’t provoke it. You know I have no control over that thing.”
“Indeed.”
“Indeed? Indeed what?”
“Indeed you are a dolt. And the only being in existence that can hear mana. Or thinks he does. Mana is only energy, dolt.”
“I beg to differ. Besides, you saw it with you own eyes.”
“I do not know what I saw beside a dolt talking to himself while his mana ran rampart.”
“Et tu, roomie? Well, ex-roomie.”
“Complain not. We have learned that whatever afflicts your boundless mane, has nothing to do with mana. Although, by that logic, I am not sure which is worse. Your meddling interloper being real or the chance your mana once again became unstable.”
“I do prefer my theory about the hair dye washing out.”
“As ludicrous as it sounds, I do too, my dolt.”
And that was the end of it. Erta got up and went on about her day and I, I mostly sat next to a boulder by our cave and stared at her. Nothing much else to do aside cheering on my sweat dripping dragon.
“You could practice instead of wasting time complaining.”
Huh? Still spying on me, are you? Erta stuck her tongue out at me and switched from doing pushups to even faster burpees.
“You do remember the physical exercises do nothing for me, do you?”
“Your wings you twat. Practice flying.”
“Well, you should probably practice cleaning up your vocabulary before we return to civilization, my stinky friend. And stop binging on old British drama from my memory. That’s privacy violation. And copyright infringement. “
“And do what? Watch you snore? Ha. Anyway, I am not swimming all the way back.”
“Or maybe you can’t?”
Someone just got quite red but I ain’t saying who. No point risking my teeth.
“Quite amusing, dolt.”
“I try my best. Say, I could teach you. You know? Swimming is something I think I am good at. In exchange for, I dunno, flying lessons? How do you even know I can fly?”
This time she stopped to give me a proper, disgusted stare.
“Dolt, we were a hair width away from becoming a single entity. The fragments of my soul are entwined within yours. Your mind is as open for me as mine is open to you. Yet you still ask how do I know? Dolt, I can recall the taste of lipstick of that girl from the guild you kissed. My insides squirm at the scent of the curse you felt from the emperor.”
As she spoke of that experience I fought and lost a battle against my insides, hoping to keep my meager breakfast in my stomach.
“Please do not ever remind me of it.”
I asked seeing the lizard also paid the price for her own words as I saw her getting sick, right behind the boulder I sat at. Synchronized, our insides announced they weren’t done with reminiscing. As a result, we spent most of the day trying not to look at each other.
“Gods, what cursed body is this? I have not suffered this much even after I ate a whole detachment of enchanted knights and their holy armors!”
Ah, Erta and her culinary adventures.
“Do remind me not to eat your cooking. Oh, and no refunds. I ain’t doing that ritual twice.”
Too tired to retaliate, the lizard grumbled a few words unbefitting her dignified self.
“Bent toadstool? Really? What is it about dragon’s tongue, mushrooms and copulating with anything at hand?”
“You try to live several hundred years in a shroom infested cave and you will find out for yourself.”
“No thank you. I did my share of hallucinogenic sampling years ago. Lots of good it did me.”
Like ending up in this world in the first place.
“Do I sense a pinch of sarcasm my dolt?”
“Do you?”
“Perhaps.”
She flopped on the ground beside.
“Do dragons really eat shrooms?”
“Some do. Others do not. Dragons are creatures of magic. If you survive past your first hundred years, there is no point to eating anymore aside killing off the ever-present boredom as mana will keep you sated.”
“Sounds familiar.”
“We are no different from humans in that regard. We love, hate, fuck, eat and sleep. All creatures do. Some just turn it into a dramatic farce with a hint of unanticipated comedy.”
I stared a long while at the stars lazily lighting up the evening sky.