Galen Vesa

*It is not enough. *

“Really? I thought I got rid of the smell this time. There’s some soap left. I can scrub myself once more if you want.”

That would be an eighth time. A reward for stepping onto a Blarg while running sixty miles an hour. Or maybe even faster. Not that I have a way to measure it.

It took us about two days of walking at a normal pace to get to Fenira from the village near the bridge. I ran back all that distance in something like an hour. Give or take. And I stepped on a Blarg along the way. Possibly the worst way to learn what a Blarg is.

It’s a skunk.

The local analogue of a skunk. A skunk on steroids and armed with a stench so potent that it makes concentrated ammonia smell like a pleasant perfume. I heard stories about how people had to vacate a village after a pack of blargs made a nest there. Now I know why.

And I stepped on one.

My foot sunk into the bloated belly of the creature and squeezed the doom out in explosive manner. The contact lasted scarcely a heartbeat but the dose I got… I tumbled and feel and, well, blarged. It’s entirely involuntary.

With eyes swollen shut, nose dripping snot and retching all the way, I crawled into a river and clung to the bottom for the better part of the night. That changed little if perhaps made the water undrinkable down the stream.

And to uphold a tradition, I lost all my clothing. This time though, I let Erta disposed of them of my own violation. There just is no way to get that stench off any fabric. We set a little bonfire under the bridge and with a tiny help from magic, burned all of it. Thankfully the oiled leather bag I had purchased in the city protected its contents, so I had a spare robe to wear. And a fair length of cloth to improvise a support structure for my pillows. Sadly, the bag had to go. It stank.

*I am not talking about the blarg but of your clumsiness. That whole incident would not come to be if you had paid more attention to where you place your feet. Be mindful of your surroundings and, at the very least, watch where you stand. *

“Sure thing roomie, as soon as I learn to double jump.”

*Galen I am not joking. Cats can turn mid fall and had you moved your leg a bit, nothing would happen. *

I smelled my foot and choked. The Au Thé Blarg still reign supreme over it. Yup, more soap.

“I do see where you want to go with it but, please keep in mind that I am not a warrior and I do not plan on becoming one. I was not born a natural athlete, nor did I ever practice any kind of martial art. The best I can do is swim an Olympic long course under one minute and twenty. I can’t use spells and I don’t think your magic training does anything more than giving me sore joints and headaches.”

*You are mistaken if you think that. While it is true you can not cast a spell, mana within your body answers your call without delay. You can form and hold complex constructs in your mind and most of all, you can feel it in a way not even I understand. That is a solid base to build off. What you lack is experience. *

“Like people or monsters trying to kill or eat me? Thanks, but no thanks. Been there done that. Did not find it amusing. I much rather work my ass off in an office sorting through books. Numbers don’t try to poke me in the face with something sharp every time they see me.”

*If that is the way you wish to live the rest of our presumably long life then be it but remember, you must learn to control your power or the next time it may not end with a burned desk. *

The memory of living flame crawling under my skin still held fresh in my mind. I had to stop and sit in the stream. One of the moons cast away its fluffy blanket of clouds and made my wet skin sparkle. Somewhere in a distance a wolf sang.

“It will happen again, won’t it?”

It felt like watching my own life through someone’s else eyes.

*Yes. It will. And as before I may not be able to stop you. As long as you cannot control your magic it will repeat itself. *

The odd restless sensation, slowly but surely, gathered within me. A constant and unwelcome companion in my mind.

“Those people in the city. They were after us?”

*It is a possibility. They were waiting for something or someone. The fact that so many of them gathered in the plaza near the guild is a strong sign but, perhaps we should not read too much into it without proper context. However, as I said it before, the way you are now is not acceptable. If you do not wish to become a permanent part of some menagerie, a curiosity to entertain others, you must learn to fight. *

And humans where supposed to be the pugnacious type. A good moment to roll my eyes, I think.

I used up all the soap I had and let the water do whatever it could. It swirled around my knees while I stood in the shallows under the bridge.

Maybe I shouldn’t lie to myself? In this world strength often decided ones standing. I’m sure my mother would be disappointed knowing what a wimp her son has become. She used to be a soldier and where it took her? To an empty coffin buried alongside other heroes.

*Galen, I do not want you to ever become a hero. I had married one. For all the merit his person had, worlds, both mine and yours, seem to plot against heroes. No. I wish for you to live your days in peace and perhaps if fate allow us, for me to come to terms with my daughter. *

Long and boring life huh? There was never…

Memories came like a flood. The smell of hospital detergent. The grip of restrains around my wrists. The girl crying with her face pressed into my chest. Promise me! Swear to me! You will never again try to kill yourself! You will live a long, interesting and meaningful life! Swear It!

I did.

I swore just to make her shut up. Did I just jinx myself right there? Making a promise I had no intention of keeping.

Good. Make sure to remember all of it! I’ll be waiting for a really good story when we meet again!

Her words before she run out of my room.

My hands traveled to the ring. It wasn’t the same ring, yet the oath remained, heavy on my conscience.

“Erta, do you think it will work out?”

*If you start properly? Yes. *

“And how do you propose we do that?”

*Tuck your pillows away from plain sight and get in here. Those bushes seem thick enough. *

Hold on, that didn’t seem right. Did I sense a hint of… good humor?

“Pillows?”

Erta let out a long and resigned sigh.

*Dolt. Get in here. *

I got dressed, wrapped my curves in several layers of cloth and did as ordered. Darkness and the bush should keep me away from preying eyes. I let my mind sink inside.

“So, what did you want me here for?”

*Time. *

She appeared before me in her human form.

*Teaching takes time and in here we can have it a plenty. *

The dragon closed her eyes and a wave of distorted space washed all over the place. I could not put a word to it, but my mind rebelled against the sensation.

*With that taken care of, let us continue our lessons on the subject of how not to die on a daily basis. Topic for today, combat. *

I did not like the way how serious her face looked when she said that. Not in the least.

*Over the time humans, elves and all other sentient species developed certain notions of how a fight should be fought. I will not bore you with all the systems, techniques or styles nor am I particularly well versed in any of those, but I have fought enough times to know that a fight boils down to five key elements mastery of which makes a difference between life and certain death. *

She brought up her palm and begun counting on her fingers.

*Avoid, Redirect, Block, Absorb and Attack. All in the order of how much danger they put you in.*

*Avoid your opponents attacks at all cost. The one who can walk away unhindered after a fight is a true winner regardless of what the stories say, and only overconfident fools let themselves be struck by a lucky punch from an enemy beaten to a pulp. Avoiding damage is the key to victory. *

*If you cannot avoid a hit, the safest action is to redirect the force of attack away from your body. Blocking should be used as a last resort as it demands you to counter your opponents force with your own and is not far dissimilar from receiving damage. It strains your body until it brakes. If your guard fails, you are open to damage anyway so do not go into a fight with a mindset to block all the opponent attacks. The goal is to avoid them not stop them. *

*If all else fails, you must know how to absorb damage. A blow to the head may split your skull open but a broken arm will not prevent you from running or even fighting. If you are to be hit, move the damage away from vital spots as far as possible. *

*Finally, proper attack builds on the foundation of the other four. You must know when and where to strike to deal the most damage and at the same time avoid putting yourself in needless danger. Anyone can flap their arms and legs around but only a few can end a fight in one precise punch. *

“I’m afraid I’m the flailing fool type, I have not been in a fight since third grade. Nor I wish to be…”

*I want you to learn how to avoid damage. Dealing it we shall leave for another lesson but first, *

She grabbed me by my collar.

*I want you to learn how to fall. *

Oh, dear.

My body sailed through the air before I even realized what happened. After a brief flight I faceplanted the ground and tumbled to a stop.

*That counts as a failure. Again! *

And again, I sailed through the air.

*Your nose is not intended to stop your fall. Again! *

*Loosen up your joints or you’ll break them! Keep your body soft and flowing like water. Roll out of the impact! *

Erta tossed and pushed me this way or that way until I could manage a drop and roll without smashing my face against the ground or landing in a tangle of limbs.

*So, the dolt can fall. *

She flicked me once more, but I turned in time to absorb the fall with my legs and rolled to extinguish the remaining momentum. To my own surprise, I ended up in a slight crouch, ready to run.

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*We are yet to see how well training in this space can affect the outside world but, I dare say, you are no longer in danger of tripping over your own feet. *

“Ah, a compliment. Now you are scaring me.”

Suddenly she appeared behind me, her slender leg raised high above my head… Should have kept my mouth shut.

Her heel smashed me into the ground and made me realize how lucky I was. Even though I would not incur any damage from her lessons in this place, the sound of each impact made it very clear how painful that would be. Way to go broken me.

*Perhaps I have overestimated your abilities. *

I just rolled over to my back.

“Let me rest a bit. We’ve been going at it for… how long exactly?”

Time in this place did funny things.

*Five hundred sixty-seven years. Give or take a hundred. The fold I made is not perfect. The breach connecting this place with the spirit realm is distorting my magic. *

Oy. Five, five what?

“I think I may have a concussion. I heard you saying we spent five hundred years with me being thrown around and you doing the throwing.”

She gave me a suspicious smile and wave away my concerns.

*Later. Your friends are here. Off you go. *

The transition took me back to my shrub, now damp and glistering with morning sunlight. I let my body unwind from the fetal position it always took when I was gone for prolonged spans of time.

*Above on the bridge. A group of people. Most feel familiar. Guards. Altina and your girlfriend are here as well. *

I don’t have a girlfriend. I think. I do hope Vi didn’t get the wrong idea…

*Stay still, that ferru maid is coming. *

As if summoned, Chuko landed beside my shrub and after a quick glance at my footprints, she lifted the branch covering my face.

And then her nose moved, her eyes became round, her pupils dilated… and she blarged. Bend over me and blarged.

“You… downwind… Go!”

She stammered just before another spasm took her. Seems like the soap changed little. At least I tried.

*It did made a difference. She is still conscious is she not? *

I moved where the maid pointed and took a moment to clean off the bile. Chuko on the other hand brought her fingers to her mouth and whistled in an odd pattern then let her stomach do its thing until it calmed. One just had to wait it out.

“Rotting tit of Bekarsa, a Blarg?! Down there? You sure? Where? Where did it go?”

A male voice I did not recognize called from above.

It say’s something about an animal when people invent special signs to signal its presence.

“Not here. Found her. “

“Great Shamu, Karin? You found her?!”

Altina called from above but the poor girl was in no shape to answer. I spoke instead.

“I am here, and I had a run in with a blarg along the way. I tried to wash it off but…”

I shook my arms. The sounds Chuko made told the whole story.

“Why am I not surprised. You make my life more interesting every time your name comes up. Are you alright? Can you move?”

“Yes.”

“Then take Chu with you and get here. We don’t have the entire day.”

Chuko’s face turned kind of blue but she stopped retching already.

“I’m sorry. Just hold your breath.”

I told her as I moved to pick her up. She clamped her nose with both her hands and suffered my arms in silence. The moment I felt the charm spread through my bones I jumped up and over the railing, landing amidst a group of surprised people. All with cloths wrapped around their faces and all most likely doused with some herbs or magic.

“The blarg, where did it hit you? Did you get its musk anywhere on your skin?”

Standing safe distance away, Altina asked with her muzzle hidden in a folded handkerchief. I rolled my robe up, exposing my tight and several people backed off visibly stricken.

“Get her the vinegar.”

A bucket of vinegar with some crushed and oily fruits found a way into my hands. I put my leg in there and rub the solution in for several minutes then used the supplied water to rinse it off. One of the guards volunteered to be the guinea pig. He pulled off his mask and took a long whiff of my leg then through tears and snot dripping from his nose he mumbled something but did not blarg. Well, he did get a good look at this and that, so I don’t think he’s going to complain.

“That will have to do. You’ll take a proper bath later. We need to get to the village before the noon. John, you'll take the forward guard and ride with us to the village. Constance, you'll make sure Karin get's there safely but not before we set up a proper camp in the village.”

With that said, Altina backed out into one of the waiting carriages and with her inside, half of the column moved out. Riding atop the last carriage with a bucket in her arms, Chuko stared daggers at me. I will have to apologize to her.

“Can you ride?”

Constance, one of the head maids from the lobby walked over to me. With her hair tied in a ponytail and a full plate armor I could hardly recognize her.

“No. I'm sorry.”

She took a step back and pressed her mask tighter against her face.

“Well, my fault for asking. Don’t take it the wrong way but… aw gods you stink. I think no mount will let you come near. We’ll have to walk you to that village.”

I gave her a fake smile.

“Thankfully I can no longer tell.”

She looked at me in a way I knew too well. A look people put on when they wished to show compassion. I look I knew but never understood.

Not that I cared.

Constance made some arrangements, gave out orders and we walked. Our odd procession started with several riders atop, I have no ide what the thing was called, never put much thought into it but the thing looked like a lizard horse with antlers. Then came the guards that dismounted and walked some distance before me. Exactly behind me four guards walked without their beasts and further along the rear-guard rode, pulling the mounts of those that walked behind me. They gave me a bothered look every time a rider passed by. Did I stank that badly?

*Yes. *

Huh? Then why aren’t you complaining?

*Because I seared the part of your nose that is responsible for sensing smells and I am blocking its recovery. *

That would explain why my nose felt stuffed. And why the guards following me up close kept on rotating the place between them. Nothing I could do about it.

Walking in silence we arrived in the Village. Or near it at least. I was not allowed it. The village elders and militia made it very clear and kept vigil at the village gate. Instead, they guided me near the river where our people had a tent ready. Without any other explanations they herded me into the tent, stripped and dunked into a washtub full of vinegar. Erta howled and broke our link. Vinegar and womanly bits do not mix. Without her my nose came back online and, yep, I did stink all right.

Two maids armed with bristle brushes made turns at scrubbing me, rinsing off the vinegar, checking if I still stank and sending me back into the tub for another scrub.

Smelling like a dill pickle, I was finally allowed to dress and rejoin the others at somewhat impromptu breakfast.

A much larger tent, raised a safe distance away from the one that served as my bath, held a table set with fruit, fresh buns and dried meat. Centerpiece of this feast belonged to steaming sausages and scrambled eggs. No coffee to be seen though.

“Ah, here you are my daughter.”

Altina held my letter in her paws for a moment then set it alight and tossed it on an empty plate.

“I thought discretion would be prudent. The city appeared to be under strict watch. I meant no offense.”

“Offense?”

The guild master snapped her muzzle shut and huffed.

“Great Shamu be ever merciful. You have snuck in and out of the city more than once under the nose of Arch Duke Tavas. Child, do you have any idea how many uncomfortable questions I had to answer on your behalf?”

She bit off a chunk of dried meat and began to chew.

“Had you come again in person, not even my word would save your hide. Such fool he is!”

She scooped up another piece and the chewing continued.

“Apologies. It was not my intention to put you my master in such position. I will agree if you want to cancel our agreement.”

“Cancel?!”

Her fur stood up.

“What nonsense are you spewing?!”

She froze and made an effort to compose herself.

“Sit and eat while it is warm.”

So, I sat down and placed a sausage and some fruits on my plate. Since the only other chair stood net to her, our elbows almost touched as we ate.

“I have doubled the price of your blessing and yet the guild received more than fifty requests for your service. When we stopped taking those requests altogether, the nobles begun sending in private requests. The one I received yesterday promised me a sum of one hundred million gold rua and various tax exemptions for the guild. I had just completed the politest refusal letter when Beatrice brought me the news.”

She forked a piece of fried bacon and put it in her mouth.

“When I felt your scent on that letter… I had to send my maids hunting for the runner boy. Karin, do you know what my guild can earn with waived tariffs? Do this one contract for me and you can keep that hundred million for yourself.”

*Ask for a percentage on top of that. *

Why, welcome back roomie. And perhaps we should ask for more. That wolf would never part with her gold so gladly like this.

“One percent of what the guild will earn.”

Altina smiled and sipped her wine.

“Half percent and you’ll do exactly what I tell you. That is more than I can offer on my own. You will have to wait for council approval of the guild lords.”

If she considered that then even half percent would make us a fortune.

I nudge my head in agreement.

“What about the city? The trouble I stirred?”

“That can wait. We must still find you a dress before the wedding.”