- 48 -

God was finally ready to crush Lilith under his thumb. That was what all of this was. His will manifest. He had wrapped Gamal's hands around Pandora's throat and Lilith was forced to watch. God knew she didn't want to, that she would try to run again, but that's what the cage was for. She was helpless to fight against his will, and he made sure she knew it.

To prove his point, he had allowed Pandora one last curse. Lilith watched the hex weave around the cage's lock. The polished steel dulled as muted red grew across its surface in rough patches. The metal pocked and crumbled as the rust spread. In less than a minute, decades had passed, but one tug was enough to prove it didn't matter.

Lilith fought against the rusted steel; against the reality that she was still trapped. Nothing happened. Even pressing a foot to the bars and leaning her full body weight onto the weakened lock yielded the same results. The shackle refused to separate from the body. She had put in every ounce of strength she had, and all she had to show for it was a fine red powder smeared across her palms.

You just wanted to show me that even with Pandora's help, I'm powerless.

With no chance of escape, Lilith slid down the back wall, pressing her eyes closed. She squeezed until little white dots flared in the darkness behind her eyelids. It was her only escape from the scene unfolding in front of her. She was running again, but was that so wrong?

She let out a deep breath.

It was wrong; she knew it was. No matter how much she tried to convince herself that she ran because of her feelings for Pandora, it wasn't true. While the hunter had absolutely carved out a place in Lilith's heart, it was the accountability that hurt her most. She didn't want to be responsible for Pandora's death.

She was nothing but kind to me and I killed her. Of course I deserve to be punished for that.

Lilith slammed her foot into the side of the cage, causing it to lean forward before gravity slammed it back down. "I'm so fucking sick of this one-sided, corrupt Justice!"

What she had done to Pandora was wrong, unforgivable even. But just and fair were two different things. The harm she caused had been an accident. She wasn't trying to bother anyone; didn't want anyone getting hurt. Meanwhile, Gamal was a liar, a manipulator, and a murderer. He endangered every life on the ship and tried to make a profit off of it. He was a vile, irredeemable monster.

But he was human.

Flames licked up at the corners of Lilith's mind. Before long, they burned across her every thought like a wildfire clearing a forest to cinders. Soon new life would grow up from the ashes. The seeds of a single-minded determination planted by God's hatred of her. A seething desire to reject his plans for her at all costs.

Blood trickled through her fingers. Crescent-shaped holes lined her palms, dug out by her fingernails as she clenched her fist. When she saw them, Lilith began to laugh. A low restrained chuckle, like someone remembering a joke they heard. Except the recollection playing at the edge of her memory wasn't comedic. It was an entry in Pandora's bestiary.

Succubi are shapeshifters.

"After I found out what I was, I tried so hard to ignore it. To just be human. And you kicked me in the teeth every step of the way. So, you win. You want me to be a youkai so damn bad, you shitty God? Fine."

She pushed her arm through the bars and stretched toward the shotgun. The weapon danced at the edge of her reach just as she expected it to. Lilith focused on her fingernails. It hadn't worked the last time she tried, but then she hadn't wanted it to. She had wished she could erase her youkai heritage and be fully human. But now she understood that was never an option.

The image of an animal's claws rushed to the forefront of her imagination and her fingertips began to buzz; the feeling of a limb that had fallen asleep. Slowly, her nails crept forward, sharpening to points. With the extra reach she needed, Lilith was able to hook the gun's strap and pull it into the cage.

"I'll be the adversary you've been begging for. And that starts with killing your little golden boy and saving Pandora!"

Even if it's only long enough for her to die in my arms, she couldn't help but think. But she wouldn't run away again. Accepting what she had done was a necessary price of accepting herself. How could she try to avoid it when the other people in her life had lost so much more? Her father raised her as his own despite knowing what she was. He loved her, and he died for it. And now Pandora was doing the same. She had let Andor get away with it; Gamal would get no such favor.

Lilith pressed the barrel of the gun against the lock and pulled the trigger. Shards of twisted steel shot in a dozen directions. The metallic twang it let out overpowered even the deep base of the gunshot itself. Gamal turned, drawn by the sound, but Lilith was already closing the distance. The bayonet sunk into his bicep, pinging against bone.

She savored his screams as she flicked the thumb latch at the weapon's rear. The breach fell open. When she snapped it closed again, the force sent the blade gliding down his arm in a wet red line. Blood poured to the carpet like a waterfall.

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At the sight, joy pushed at the corners of Lilith's mouth. A fraction of the blood you've spilled on this ship alone. I'll blow your whole fucking arm clean off.

There was a hollow click. Nothingness filled the space meant for a gunshot. Lilith's smile fell away as she pulled the trigger again, and again. Each time met with the same lack of a reaction. Did I do something wrong? But I reloaded it exactly how Pandora showed me!

Lilith flipped the latch again, only this time, no spent cartridge launched from inside. The barrel had been empty, which meant the loading mechanism was empty. She had run out of shells.

A massive hand wrapped around the gun's barrel. The gentle sway of her grip was replaced with instant stability. She ripped at the weapon, but she could have been playing tug of war with a statue for the effect it had. The gun refused to move until the moment Gamal ripped the bayonet from his bicep, then it went solid again. The injured arm hung lifeless at his side, at least. She didn't want to imagine him at full strength.

Lilith lurched forward as the weapon was wrenched from her hands. She traced its path as it swung away from her before becoming a smear and disappearing. Her mind pushed for an explanation, but it came late. Only once pain exploded in her abdomen did every synapse scream 'motion blur' in unison. The floor rushed away from her feet and the room began to spin. When it stopped, she found herself on the other side by the remnants of the armchair.

Gamal tossed the gun into the air, adjusting his grip with the catch. "You fucking whore! I'm going to cut off all four of your limbs for that."

Lilith scrambled to her feet and readied her fingernails. Gamal limped forward, blade pointed forward. Good. His foot is still bothering him. She wasn't sure how much it would help, but it was welcome nonetheless. Even if she considered her makeshift claws a weapon, compared to the bayonet she was practically unarmed. It gave him at least four feet of reach over her. She needed anything to bring the fight back towards even, and speed might be the only advantage she could muster.

She narrowed her focus, waiting for any sign of movement. When his leg slid back to brace his weight, Lilith mirrored the move. She couldn't afford to react. If she wanted to live, if she wanted to kill him, she needed to match his timing exactly.

Gamal leapt forward. The blade sailed toward Lilith, but she was already moving. A red line formed at her side, a stinging reminder of the danger she faced. But she had dodged the worst of the attack.

She smashed her nails down onto Gamal's hand. Once she felt herself dig into flesh, she ripped away. The gun clattered to the floor. Blood sprayed in every direction, both his and her own. Chunks of muscle and shredded flesh hung above his knuckles. Two of her nails had cracked and one had ripped away entirely, still logged in his hand. The pain rippled through her arm, as she was sure it did for him. The difference was she could repair the damage. Her fingers buzzed as she reformed the sharpened nails at their tips.

This time, she took the initiative. Hoping to end things quickly, she slashed at his throat. He batted her strike away with an effortless sweep of his arm, knocking her off balance. A kick to her chest finished the job of putting her on her back. She pushed up onto her elbows, but Gamal's weight crashed down on top of her, flattening her once more. A well-placed knee immobilized her right arm and his shredded hand pinned her left above her. She struggled against his grip without progress.

Gamal reared back and slammed his head into hers. For a moment, she felt as if she had fallen out of her body. She worried her consciousness might be swimming through a part of her brain that had leaked onto the floor. For now, that wasn't the case, but if she couldn't escape his grasp it would be. Not that she had any idea how. Overpowering him wasn't an option. Thinking had grown harder after the attempted head flattening. She wouldn't have much of a speed advantage while pinned on her back. Even his endurance was still holding strong. He had overwhelmed her and Pandora both, yet hadn't moved past a light pant.

Wait. Panting might be enough.

Gamal's mouth hung open as he breathed. It was slight, but enough to take advantage of. A plan formed in Lilith's mind, but it was going to hurt. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Her tongue ran the edge of her teeth as she imagined what came next.

I can't do this.

She hesitated, but her mind turned to Fennel, then Pandora. How many hours had she spent wishing she could be strong like them? She envied their immaculate resolve, their superhuman calm under pressure. She had danced at the fringes of that feeling multiple times. It was time to step past the threshold.

You can do this Lilith. The fear is useful, but only if you don't let it control you.

Lilith let go. The anxiety she had worked to hold back washed over her. Her mind worked overtime to tell her how each and every action she could take would lead directly to her death. Before, the thoughts would have paralyzed her, but she had accepted who she was now; she had decided to fight. So when she found a scenario she might survive, she could accept it with confidence. Calm overtook her as she sandwiched the tip of her tongue between her teeth and bit it off.

A mouth full of blood was becoming far too common of an experience for Lilith. She began to pray that this would be the last time, but stopped herself. From now on she would need to answer her own prayers. She pursed her lips and sprayed it in a fine mist. Gamal was coated in an instant. He fell back clutching his face. The attack coated his eyes, leaving him blind. With any luck, the blood had made it into his mouth as well. His actions would slow as mind and body fought against the aphrodisiac.

His breathing drew to a crawl, his hand trembled as he wiped the blood from his eyes, and a small tent rose in his trousers. Her gamble had paid off. This was her chance, she just had to take it.

Lilith rolled forward and clutched at his chest. She dug her nails into the muscle until she felt blood pool at her fingertips. Pressing her eyes shut, she conjured an image in her mind of bamboo rising up through the ground, refusing to stop until it reached the sky. The tingling returned and she felt her nails pushing through his flesh, angling towards his heart. She blocked out the sound of his screams, focusing on her mental image until her nails sprouted from his back.

When she opened her eyes, Gamal stared back at her, or at least his body. The face had gone slack and the light had faded from the eyes. His breathing had stopped complexly. A constant pressure pulled at the nails pierced through his body as it began to slump.

It was over; she had killed him.

Her nails snapped and broke away, freeing her hold over the corpse. It fell to the ground and she found herself staring down at it. Silence filled the room as she took in everything that had happened. Not just the fight, but each moment since her father had died. The weight of all of it crashing down on her all at once, overpowering her calm.

In that moment, Lilith wept.