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Lilith knew that God shines his love down over the whole world, watching over and protecting his loyal followers. Both her father and the church had drilled that lesson into her. It wasn't a matter of opinion or belief, it was fact. But now, as the night of the hunt drew closer doubts crept in. Could she really trust God when her father's life was on the line?

Lilith sat on her bed, searching for anything to distract her from her thoughts. Reading had gotten her through many tough times in her life, but tonight only one book would do. She opened 'Chains of Love' by Christina Claremont. A romance between a captured spy and the guard assigned to be her executioner. It was her favorite story, though the physical book was growing increasingly unnecessary. The plot lived free in her heart; word for word in the case of her favorite sections.

Lilith flipped through well-worn pages searching for the chapter where the two lovers first meet. As usual, she replaced the names as she read along; her own name taking the protagonist's place:

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> [Lilith] had been to every country on the continent five times over at least. Yet, none of the border crossings filled her with dread the way entering Galmura did. They had been threatening war against her home for over a decade. The size of their army would guarantee them victory alone, but their leaders were clever as well. If war broke out the fighting would continue until the maps were redrawn, this time without Olexa. [Lilith] vowed to flip the power balance and if today's meeting went well maybe she stood a chance of succeeding.

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Lilith had always felt drawn to the heroine. She envied the way she got to travel the world having grand adventures. Something Lilith would never have the chance to do. She was imprisoned by her condition, unable to leave her room without help. She had more in common with the spy at the novel's midpoint when she would be captured and thrown in jail. Only Lilith wouldn't be set free by the power of love at the end of the book. Her body simply didn't work.

Lilith sighed. This was supposed to take her mind off her problems, instead, she was depressing herself. She flipped ahead in the chapter. The protagonist was going to meet an informant who ended up betraying her. She wanted to skip right to the part where he held her at knifepoint, threatening her for a larger payment. Thinking the spy was being robbed, the love interest was going to jump in and save her.

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> How had he moved so fast? Before she could react, he had a blade pressed against [Lilith's] throat. She felt the wet trickle of blood slide down her neck. Then the knife was gone. [Lilith] turned to find the informant laying in the shattered remains of a market stall. Expensive spices poured down on him like the sands of an hourglass.

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> "I hope I'm not interrupting but it looked like your conversation had ended."

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> [Lilith] turned to the voice and was met with eyes as blue as the summer sky. It was a man close in age to her. A city guard judging by the sword at his hip. [Lilith] was best off not getting involved with the law, but something about him set her heart racing. Maybe it was his raven dark hair or the definition in his arms, strong enough to peek through his leather armor.

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> "Thank you for saving me... umm"

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> "Forgive me, my name is—"

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Lilith closed the book and stared at the tattered cover; the title embossed in intricate gold and silver leaf. The sight of the love interest's name had dissolved her will to read. Nowadays, Lilith placed Joshua's name in that spot but as a teenager, someone else had filled that role. Her father's Co-worker, Victoria.

The memories forced out a weak laugh. What a miserable choice for a first crush. At the time, Victoria was not only twice her age but married; not that Lilith's hormones cared. Her father was a different story, though. Lilith spent years thinking it was her choice being a woman that bothered him so much, but then he had the exact same reaction when he found out about Joshua.

Either way, Victoria held a special place in her heart, and right now the book only served to remind her of the absence. Even beyond her little crush Victoria was important to her. Lilith didn't have many friends. Locked inside by her health, she could only interact with the people her father invited over. That meant the other hunters. Except, James was too intimidating to talk to and she never liked Andor. What could a teenage girl have in common with middle-aged men anyway? She really only grew close to Victoria and Fennel; now one of them was gone forever.

Lilith made sure to attend the funeral. She forced her father to carry her. But that didn't quell the hurting, didn't fill the void left in her life. Saying goodbye had only made it hurt worse.

When Lilith realized tears now stained the cover of her beloved novel. She tossed it to the foot of the bed and rolled over. Tonight, both her father and Fennel would be hunting the same youkai that stole Victoria away. Who would be next to die? Maybe if she closed her eyes she could fall asleep; it could just be tomorrow. But intrusive thoughts refused her wish. Instead, she was alone with her feelings, and they screamed that the world was ending.

A knock sounded from Lilith's door. "Can I come in?"

Lilith pushed herself up from the bed. "Yes, Dad."

Gregor stepped inside closing the door behind him. Lilith's stomach sank at the white and gold outfit her father wore; full hunter's garb. She pulled the pillow from the head of her bed and wrapped her arms around it, burying her face in its embrace. Lilith's words were muffled by her hiding spot. "I guess you're leaving now?"

"I am."

The bed sagged as Gregor took a seat beside her. An arm reached around her but Lilith pulled away from the touch. With a sharp breath, Gregor abandoned the hug. "I have to go," he said.

Lilith pulled her head from the pillow to look at him; the seeds of tears planted at the corner of her eyes.

"Why do you have to go? That awful thing already killed Ms. Victoria, and Ms. Samantha's daughter Angela, and—"

Gregor planted a kiss on her forehead.

"It's going to be okay," he said wiping the tears from her eyes.

"But what if you die? What will happen to me without you?"

The words fell from her mouth before she could stop them; disgusting selfish words. She hated the way she made it about herself but she had a feeble body. If God shines his love down on the world then clearly, she was born in the shade. A full-grown woman but she couldn't visit anywhere further than the bathroom without her father's help.

"There's no one else to take care of me," she said. "No one that's allowed to anyway."

"Don't try to make this about Joshua."

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"Why not? What else am I supposed to do? Besides you, who do I have—"

"I'm not going to die, sweetheart," Gregor said. "Two new hunters have just arrived from Eden to help."

"So you'll only have as many as the last time?"

"Well..." Gregor paused.

Lilith waited for him to make some excuse. And she would be forced to accept it. He always won every argument, if only because he was the one who picked the winner.

"Some of the village men are coming with us," he said. "Besides, hunters from Eden are as tough as they come. They probably won't even need our help."

"If they don't need your help then don't go."

"I'm sorry Lilith but I have to go. Can I get a hug before I leave?"

Lilith hid her face in the pillow again and let silence fill the space between them.

"Please," Gregor begged.

Lilith briefly thought she could trap him in her room if she only refused the hug. He would be stuck arms spread forever. But it was a childish thought. Nothing would chain him down the way she was. Lilith dropped her pillow to the side, then wrapped her arms around Gregor pulling as tightly as her frail body would allow.

Her voice shook. "I love you, Dad."

"I love you too, Lilith."

Gregor stood and made his way to the exit but Lilith couldn't watch.

"How about I carry you up to the lake after I get back tomorrow?" He asked. "You haven't been in months."

Lilith played with the hem of her nightgown unable to look at her father but she managed a weak nod. The door clicked shut. Lilith listened to her father's footsteps cross the house. Listened to the door open and close. Listened until there was nothing left to listen to, then laid back on her bed to stare at the ceiling. She was alone with herself again; nothing hurt more than being alone.

Before long the celebration started. Villagers screaming and cheering, banging together pots and pans. Even from her bedroom, Lilith could hear the hunter's send-off. It was supposed to be a hero's ovation yet Lilith couldn't hear anything but a funeral dirge. There was a good chance those men wouldn't be returning.

Lilith fought to ignore the noise. She found herself praying; begging God for her father's safe return. Two hunters had come from Eden to help with the hunt. She prayed they would act as God's love shining down to keep her father safe. A knock at the window pulled her from her prayers. Using the bed's footrest to keep her balance she hobbled over to the window. There her eyes met Joshua's.

Lilith forced the window up. "What are you doing here?" She whispered. "What if your father finds out?"

His answer came with no attempt at silence. "My father is occupied with the hunt, same as yours. This is the best time for me to come see you."

"The vicar is going on the hunt with them?"

"A lot of the men are, they wanted me to go as well but my mother wouldn't allow it."

Joshua stood in the retreating light of the sun. The rays shone off his curly blond hair giving the appearance of a halo. Her angel, come to help her through this dark night. Lilith wished with all her heart that her father hadn't left on the hunt but it did give her an opportunity. Gregor might not approve of her being with Joshua, but she didn't approve of being alone.

"Lilith?" Joshua's voice snapped her from her thoughts.

She leaned out the window and looked around. "Climb inside quickly before someone sees you."

"Relax," he said. "The hunt is starting. We're the only villagers in all of Coventry not in the square."

He grabbed the windowsill and pulled himself through losing his balance halfway. He tumbled inside landing at Lilith's feet. Perhaps it was God's love keeping him from the hunt. Joshua made a good religious scholar but his strength and coordination were both lacking. A common ground that endeared Lilith to him.

"Are you okay?" Lilith asked lowering herself down beside him.

Joshua reached out and caressed her cheek. "I'm good now that I'm with you."

Lilith leaned into the touch. The warmth sunk into her skin. After a moment Joshua climbed to his feet and reached a hand out to Lilith. She took it with a smile and he pulled her into his arms. It was just like a scene from 'Chains of Love.' Joshua helped her back to her bed, sat beside her, and wrapped an arm around her. She slid over to shrink the distance between them.

"You are even more beautiful than last I saw you," Joshua said. Lilith's heart lifted at the words but then doubt stomped it back in place.

"Joshua... What if my dad is right? That I'm not good enough to be your wife?"

Vicar Edwin hadn't disapproved of Lilith at first. It all started with her father. He convinced the vicar to his side shortly after and now she was forbidden to see Joshua outside of mass.

Lilith stared into his eyes, as blue as the midday sky. Something she longed for from behind a window pane, never to be experienced firsthand. "I've tried to convince him, justify us to be together. But everything my dad said is true. I'm not normal and I never will be. I'll always be a burden to you."

Joshua gripped her hand tight "Shouldn't that be my choice to make?"

"I think so too, but—"

"Lilith, being different doesn't disqualify you from love. It just means the person you end up with loves you more than you can imagine. You are the one I want to be with."

He leaned forward pressing his lips to hers, catching her off guard. She recoiled, then when she realized what he had done she leaned into the kiss. Her self-doubt melted away replaced by something else: a passion burning in the kiss, a desire, lurid images dancing in the vision of her mind. The two of them wrapped together in passion. Becoming one. She wanted it.

Joshua's tongue speared suddenly into her mouth, the intrusion causing her to pull back. Lilith opened her eyes and broke her lips free. The perfect moment had become rough and clumsy. Joshua leaned forward and whispered into her ear, "Tonight I'll show you how much I want you."

"I... um." Lilith struggled for a response, still thrown off balance by the kiss. Joshua reached up and gently brushed her hair from her face. Stared into her eyes. Then he said it.

"Lilith, I love you."

As soon as his words hit air, her hesitation left. She regained the feeling that lived between the kiss. That passion. Rough hands trailed down her back towards her waist and began to tug at the fabric of her nightgown.

"I love you too," Lilith said. She leaned forward for a kiss. The cloth beneath her was freed and Joshua yanked her nightgown up and over her head blocking her attempt. He hadn't bothered to undo the button at the neck so when he tossed the gown to the ground it caught under her chin. Her neck craned to the side and she cried at the sudden pain.

Now free of the clothing, Lilith's hair tumbled down in front of her breasts; a last defense for her modesty. Joshua slid the hair back over her shoulders and it cascaded down her back. She was now laid bare before him. Her heart hammered so hard she thought its pounding might be visible against her bare chest.

Joshua traced his fingers up and down Lilith's back. "You're beautiful," he whispered.

He took her firm around the waist and lowered her to the bed. Just before he set down her head he tossed something aside. Lilith looked to find her novel on the ground, open to the floor, gravity laying creases in the pages. She reached out her arm hoping to flip the book back around but her fingers came up short. Before she could stretch over to it he planted another kiss on her lips.

Joshua fumbled at his belt with one hand and slid the other down her body. The fingers groped at her chest, then ran over her stomach before reaching her hips. They latch onto her panties and pulled. The underwear caught in the pits of her knees; its cloth fighting Joshua as he spread her legs open.

Before she knew it, Joshua was already pushing forward. Lilith sucked in air as he entered her. She wasn't ready; she hadn't prepared herself. At the end of her novel, the characters started slow. The lover was gentle and the heroine wet. Joshua dove in dry with a single thrust.

It hurt.

But the first time was supposed to hurt, right? The heroine of Chains of Love wasn't a virgin, or if she was the story didn't mention it. None of Lilith's books did. But that's what she had heard growing up through hushed tones and giggling voices. It would hurt at first but get better soon. Except it didn't seem to be getting better.

"Can you be a little more gentle?" she asked.

"What? Uh, yeah."

Joshua's pace barely changed at all. It was clear he prioritized his pleasure well above hers. Even as he slowed, her love still felt the impact of every thrust. She lay staring up at the ceiling; sucking air at the uncomfortable friction of each movement.

Sex was supposed to be the ultimate expression of love between a couple. Second only to the pure love of God. Instead, this was God's hatred shining down on her for the first time. With a moan, Joshua finished what he had started and Lilith felt something flow into her. Not just the man's seed but an unfamiliar strength welling up from deep within. Her pale skin blushed to a healthy shade. Fatigue faded from her body. A fog lifted and the world became sharper and more focused. But the first thoughts through her freshly cleared mind were those of abject terror. Lilith pulled herself away from Joshua, heart racing. She ran her fingers across her skin, then noticed her hands were shaking. "I don't understa—"

"You bitch!" Joshua interrupted. "What did you do to me?"

Lilith looked up to find Joshua off the bed and backing away from her. He stepped on her book and it slid from beneath him sending him crashing to the ground. He was only slowed for a moment before he continued to crawl back away from her. It was as if he had seen a ghost. He reached the wall, then tried to pull himself to his feet. Wild shaking overtook his legs like a newborn animal trying to stand for the first time. A horrifying realization hit Lilith. She had gained newfound strength, but it had to have come from somewhere. It had been stolen.

"Joshua, I didn't—"

"Shut up." Joshua groped for the door. "You... You witch, you monster. You were a youkai all along and you tricked me! You tricked me into sleeping with you."

Lilith pleaded with him, voice shaking. "No, I don't know what—"

The door swung open as soon as Joshua found the doorknob. He turned and made his best effort to flee. Lilith went to follow but stumbled as her panties caught around her knees. She pulled them back into place and grabbed her nightgown, not bothering to put it on but holding it in front of herself to hide her chest. By the time she made it out of the bedroom, she found the front door wide open and Joshua long gone.

Like that, the person Lilith hoped to spend the rest of her life with had abandoned her. The love he had for her turned to hate in an instant. The only person she had left was her father. Would he hate her too? Of course he would. Why shouldn't he? After all, God shone his love down over the whole world. A love extended only to humans, and Lilith was a youkai.