I was sitting in a room with King Eduard the Defenestrator, Queen Eleanor, Duke Armand, and (via a crystal ball) Hildoara, Prince Wisimir, and Duke Carini. The smoke of candles wafted into my nose. At that moment, my king had his head in his hands. He let out a deep sigh.
"Saint Gustav, how are your legs after standing in the same spot for hours?" King Eduard asked.
There was a look of concern on Hildoara's face. I didn't pay much attention to how the others appeared.
"I can barely feel my legs," I answered. "But it's nothing some healing magic won't fix."
Queen Eleanor sighed. She pointed a finger at me, and my legs got feeling in them again.
"There. That should be better now," the monarch said.
"Thank you, Your Majesty," I replied.
King Eduard groaned before placing his hands down.
"Since Saint Gustav's overly literal interpretation of my instructions wasted time, we shall move straight to discussing the Motteburh affair," he stated.
Yeah, that was the downside of interpreting his orders that way. But it was worth it.
"I managed to make contact with some of the sea elves in Vandalland," Hildoara spoke up. "They are willing to engage in trade under set rules, but almost none of them will trade with Greenrivers."
"Unfortunate but not unexpected. Our efforts in Greenrivers regarding sea elf trade have not gone well. Their conditions for accepting our plan are unacceptable," King Eduard said.
Prince Wisimir raised his hand.
"What conditions are those, Your Majesty?" he asked.
I had a feeling I knew, but I also didn't want to.
"The elimination of the Smed bloodline," King Eduard answered.
Aaaaaand there it was. Fuck.
"Why would they want that?" Prince Wisimir questioned.
"During my conquests of the sea elf territories, one of my generals took exception to some of their gender roles and committed an atrocity against them," King Eduard said. "For which I executed her. This general was part of the Smed family."
Please don't bring up Joanna. Please don't bring up Joanna. Please don't bring up Joanna.
"The general who did whatever they did is dead. Why do the sea elves want the whole family gone?" Prince Wisimir wondered.
"Sea elves believe in collective punishment. If one person does something, their whole family is guilty," Queen Eleanor said.
My eyes glanced at Hildoara. She was already trying to make gestures for Prince Wisimir to shut up, but his attention was away from her. The prince had an expression of contemplation.
"How many members of the Smed family are there left?" Prince Wisimir asked.
"As far as we know, just one," King Eduard answered.
"Well, wiping out a whole family to get some ex-pirates' favor would be wrong, but just one person? I would say that's a worthy sacrifice."
Now, I couldn't help but speak up. I was REALLY grateful Hildoara was the ruler of Vandalland and not him.
"Your Highness, while the exact life-to-benefit exchange might be to our benefit, killing someone for the crimes of their relatives would set up a horrible precedent," I stated. "Even if we just do it one time, it will make others believe it is just. That will encourage collective, family-based punishment. Eventually, it might be that our system of justice is the same as the sea elf one. Or we will need to fight hard to keep a system like that from establishing itself."
King Eduard nodded.
"Well said, Saint Gustav."
Prince Wisimir placed a hand on his chin. That could not mean good. Tension still filled my body.
"Then, why not make it look like an accident? That way, the sea elves are satisfied and there is no blame on us," he suggested.
Fuuuuuuck!
"The gods will blame us, and their judgment is absolute. As a noble, you will have to get your hands dirty, but it is your duty to limit that and not just throw away the lives of your people," King Eduard stated.
"And speaking of not throwing away innocent lives," I spoke up. "Do any of you know someone who can use magic to make food? Because I have some merchants going to Motteburh, and I'm worried they might not be enough."
All eyes turned to me.
"Saint Gustav, why are you sending merchants to Motteburh?" King Eduard asked.
"To keep their people from starving so their commoners will start supporting Greenrivers instead of their nobles," I answered.
Duke Armand nodded.
"I rate that scheme a 6 out of 10," he said. "Why do you think their people are starving more than commoners anywhere else?"
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"They're not starving now, but they'll be in danger of it soon. A horde of emus are going to eat their crops."
Duke Armand grinned, stroking his beard. He nodded.
"I understand. You secretly started an emu breeding program to create a horde of emus. And now, you're planning on unleashing them on Motteburh. 7 out of 10."
"That would take way too long," I shook my head. "I contacted the goddess of emus. She's all in on this plan."
A moment of silence passed. Looks of stunned shock crossed everyone's faces. Then, Duke Armand nodded.
"9 out of 10. A few flaws, but aside from those, you have a very good scheme. Good job, Saint Gustav," he said.
King Eduard nodded.
"Yes. This should help our efforts. I know of no one who can create food. However, I can send some other foods over. Although, I suspect the Motteburh nobles will figure out that we had some role in the famine," the monarch stated.
"That is possible," I replied. "But I can say that the gods told me about it ahead of time. They wouldn't be able to tell if I was telling the truth or not."
Queen Hildoara spoke up.
"I will do my best to have food sent over too. It would be best for our efforts and the commoners of Motteburh if they got food from multiple sources," she stated.
Queen Eleanor chuckled.
"If we could get Dalv involved, that would help even more," Her Majesty commented. "Alas, Weltai is too far from Motteburh."
"A true shame, especially considering how Weltai's economic condition is the best of the continent's powers," Duke Carini nodded.
I had my doubts that Dalv gave the faintest fuck about the people of Motteburh, considering how they aren't his people. But for all I know, he might help if he could. At the very least, to back up the sort of vague coalition we have going on.
"Duke Carini has a good point," Hildoara said. "The royal treasuries of Greenrivers and Vandalland are not doing well."
"That won't be a problem with feeding Motteurh. My plan should stop any starvation. I just want another level of security," I replied.
King Eduard shrugged.
"Well, that is one route of attack decided upon. Saint Gustav, I presume you have more plans for dealing with Motteburh?" he asked.
"I do, Your Majesty," I answered, thankful that King Eduard did not bring up the sea elves. "There is one other kingdom that is able to trade by sea, albeit limited. Fantasy En..."
After suddenly and intentionally coughing, I continued speaking.
"The kingdom that the Saint of the God of the Sea is from. If we can cut off Motteburh from their trade, that could aid our cause quite a bit," I said.
"Yes," King Eduard nodded. "I happen to know their king. I will set up a crystal ball meeting with him to discuss terms."
Of course, none of this would be quite enough, and everyone in the room knew it. Trade brings prosperity to nations, but it also can make them dependent on trade. That is the core of modern economic warfare. However, a world that doesn't have much trade means its countries will be fairly self-sufficient. As such, we would need as many economic attacks as possible to have an impact.
"So, Gu...Saint Gustav, what is your general plan for the Motteburh situation? Just an overview," Hildoara asked.
"We'll cripple them economically, which will force their leaders to make reforms," I answered.
King Eduard raised an eyebrow.
"Reforms? That is fairly mild for Motteburh's actions. I would prefer something more conclusive," he said.
Thankfully, I already had a response for that prepared.
"As would I, Your Majesty," I replied. "But the only way I know of to reach that conclusion is through an invasion or inciting a rebellion."
King Eduard gave me a small smile. I realized that his words were a test.
"You have come to the same conclusion I have. Excellent. An invasion would be too risky, and a rebellion could have consequences that affect more than just Motteburh. Forcing reforms is the best we can do for now," the king stated.
I noted that he said 'for now.' It seemed neither of us intended to let the Motteburh situation go fully unanswered. Well, I'd try to roast the Motteburh nobles slowly over centuries of reforms. I'm not sure what King Eduard wanted. Whatever the case, it would be out of the scope of a novel if I was writing one based on these events.
"What we really need to do is hit the Motteburh nobles where it hurts, Your Majesty," Duke Armand spoke up. "Getting the support of the Motteburh peasantry is all well and good. However, the Motteburh nobles do not care about their people. And those that do will feel betrayed rather than pressured by this. They may even choose to execute peasants who support reform."
...fuck! I didn't think of that! I might have messed up so bad!
"That is a risk," Hildoara admitted, clearly trying to hide her discomfort.
"Very true, Your Majesty. But if we can distract the nobles' attention, then support for Greenrivers might rise too high for them to stop by the time they react," Duke Armand said.
King Eduard nodded.
"Go on, then, Duke Armand," he replied. "Tell us how we can really hurt the Motteburh nobles."
Armand inclined his head before speaking.
"Motteburh is the most class-focused kingdom on the continent to the point where speaking before being spoken to when talking to someone of higher social status, something that is normally a social formality, carries the death penalty. My proposal is that we do something to truly infuriate the Motteburh nobles, or otherwise deliver news to them that will do the same. Then, while they're dealing with that distraction, we can do damage to their kingdom," he said.
Prince Wisimir nodded.
"I don't know about Motteburh, but from what I know...we'll probably need to give someone from that land an important political role. It would be one that could have gone to someone of higher social status but didn't," the prince stated.
"That could work," Queen Eleanor agreed. "The problem is that we would need someone from Motteburh that we can trust. Otherwise, they could sabotage us from the inside."
King Eduard the Defenestrator nodded.
"Yes. We should choose someone the Motteburh nobles would particularly look down on, both to make them madder and because that would be someone who would have a reason to work against them," he said. "They would also need to be someone who could do their job well. I will not appoint someone incompetent for political reasons."
Duke Armand nodded. And I started to think I had an idea of where he was going with this.
"Well said, Your Majesty. But notice how I said that we could just deliver this news to them. After all, what would the Motteburh nobles think if they found out a half-commoner and half-noble bastard girl was the personal guard of a saint. More than that, a saint who is part of the inner circle of the King of Greenrivers and the fiance of the Queen of Vandalland?" he grinned.
All eyes turned to me. It looked like King Eduard and Queen Hildoara managed to work something out, and...
"Saint Gustav, you have a guard from Motteburh?" Duke Carini questioned.
I nodded.
"I do. And I'm sure that when we tell her our plan, she'll be happy to guard the saint in His Majesty's inner circle for a while," I said. "Speaking of which, who is this saint? None of the saints at the saint meeting mentioned being part of King Eduard's inner circle."
Everyone in the room facepalmed.
"No self-awareness," Dʰéǵʰom sighed.
"I have plenty of self-awareness," I thought. "After all, I'm completely aware that I'm the saint Duke Armadn was talking about."
Dʰéǵʰom burst out laughing.
"You're Greenrivers' biggest troll, Gustav!" he said.
"No. I'm a human, remember?"
"...never mind. You still have no self-awareness. Unless you're fucking with me right now."
"I'll leave you to figure that out."