Dawn’s early light cast a glow on the city of Olirian that was normally so soothing, it could melt away any and all problems. It could crack the hardest of armors and slip past anybody’s defenses… typically. For Ferain, who’d been up for hours before the sun, it had little to no effect. A repetitive subject for her friends, but even more so for Ferain, were nightmares. She was familiar with them, and despite how much she wished for the opposite, there would be no separating her from those terrible dreams. They ebbed sometimes, came and went, but… they were never gone for long. The only thing they sometimes did was change. Ferain stood atop the roof of the dormitory in District-B, leaning on the parapet that she normally stepped off of to start her morning trips through the city.
There was a coolness in the air that hinted at the changing of seasons. The last remnants of summer were coming and going as autumn followed suit. August was still technically summer, but it was near the tail end enough that out at sea, there was little difference. She stood there in a pair of black cotton pants and a pink t-shirt that belonged to her partner, so it was a bit large on her. Besides those, she had nothing else, like socks or shoes to keep her feet protected. She didn’t bother with them, though it wasn’t out of laziness. It was more like a simple lack of necessity in the moment. There were more pressing things on her mind than wearing the proper clothing. Her head drooped slightly, she stared out at the city through her hanging, messy fringe as it shifted in front of her eyes, watching as the world she knew shifted from night to day.
A short time after the sun showed itself on the horizon, she felt another’s presence before hearing them come through the door that led to the rooftop. It was a small electrical pulse that gave it away. It was a sense that she, as well as other lightning-wielders possessed, if given enough time to train it. The new presence approached softly from behind before leaning her back against the wall beside Ferain. The silver-haired princess crossed her arms over her chest and smiled warmly.
“What’s on your mind?” Anita questioned.
“What makes you think anything is?” asked Ferain, without looking at the girl to her right.
“This is always where you go when you’re thinking about something. I had a feeling you came here when you didn’t come back to bed after a while.”
“I… didn’t mean to wake you. Sorry about that.” said Ferain, giving a thin smile.
“That’s fine, I don’t really mind. What I do mind is that you’re keeping something from me again. If it’s enough to wake you up at night, I want to know about it.”
“It isn’t anything like that. It’s just another nightmare.” said Fera.
“Yeah, perhaps. However, all of your nightmares are based on things you’ve seen. You haven’t told me about a single one that wasn’t linked to some experience or another. You see, when I have nightmares, they’re more like showing up to school naked, or being chased by zombies and I don’t have my powers, things like that. Your nightmares are about things like…”
“Like my mother,” Fera finished grimly. “Or Kiko and Yarin. Yes, I know. Look, just because I’m easy for you to read, it doesn’t mean you always have to.” Fera said incredulously, glancing over to see Anita’s loving expression. She sighed, looked back at the horizon, and lowered her head a second later. “There is something I haven’t talked to you about.”
“Obviously,” said Anita, turning around to cross her arms atop the parapet. “Is it about that trip to the city a few months back? You hardly told me anything about it.”
“Yeah, it is.” said Ferain.
After a short breath, she closed her eyes and recalled the images of not only her dream but also her memories. The destruction of her old home, the dust from the carnage of it all that still lingered in the air, and the dreadful feeling that she was the last living soul for miles, even if that wasn’t entirely the case. The terrible wasteland that was left behind from that attack was enough to transport her to a world where everything had been blown to pieces, and all that was left was rubble and debris. She could even recall the feeling and the sound as the loosened ground beneath her feet crunched under the weight of each step she took. This was the image that made up her nightmares from the night before. Ferain opened her eyes slowly and held up her scarred right hand, taking in the full realization of the truth that many people had started to remember.
“We really are monsters.” Fera muttered.
“Fera, wha–”
“I’ve seen the destruction back home, Anita. I walked through it. Do you know how many bodies I probably walked over? I don’t. There could have been dozens buried underneath all of that concrete and metal, and I would never know. All of that was caused by one wielder.” Fera’s hand clenched into a fist, her sporadic pattern of reminders shifting as the skin moved from the tense action. “I’m sorry,” she said softly. “I didn’t want to bring your mood down, so I never mentioned it. I’ve been trying… I’ve been happier, I don't even need to try anymore. I am happy. I have a father again, which is something I never would’ve imagined was possible, let alone something I even wanted. I have you, who thankfully forgave me for all of my stupidity, and the same could be said about Maple and the others. I have a lot to be grateful for, and I’ve been doing my best to stay positive because of that. But… Sometimes, these things just come back to me. I can’t shake them. I mean, it’s right here on my arm, written out plainly for me to see every single day. I know firsthand just how dangerous we can be, and now, everywhere in the world, more and more of our kind are only proving it for everyone else.”
“Fera.” Anita said quietly and sympathetically.
“You know, walking around in that place, feeling the weight of that kind of destruction… It's part of what made me change my mind about Kiko. Killing him would’ve been murder, and with all of the evil our kind is putting out into the world right now, I didn’t want to be just another one of those examples. Putting it into that perspective showed me just how far I’d fallen from the person I wanted to be. No, I fell even further. I went right past the person I was, and crash landed as a person that was worse than I’ve ever been. It almost makes me feel ashamed that I had to see so much damage and loss to really get myself back on the right track. My friends couldn’t help me, my own father couldn’t help me, but the loss of dozens, maybe hundreds of lives was what it took to set me straight.”
Fera gritted her teeth until they felt like they would shatter under the pressure. She felt the light caress of Anita’s hand over hers and when she looked down at her right hand, Anita’s pale, perfect hand was holding hers tightly. The anger and tension faded, and all that was left was a hint of shame and remorse, which was for both her actions in the moment, and the deeds she wanted to commit in the past.
“Sorry.” Fera said again. “It’s just hard to accept that maybe humans are right to hate us.”
“They’ve caused just as much damage.”
“No, they haven’t. They've caused some, and they’ve killed some of us, yeah, but… Nobody can say they did as much harm as us. Besides, even if the fighting was started by both sides, we’re stronger than they are. We should know how easy it would be to do so much harm. We should be better than to act out of retaliation, but the people that represent us out there are just… they’re just killing. The violence just keeps getting worse, and after witnessing it with my own eyes…” Fera paused and looked into Anita’s eyes before continuing. “I don’t know if there’ll be a home to go back to.” she finished. “My History teacher said that things like this have happened in the past and that they’ve always worked themselves out, but… this time… This time, I’m not so sure.”
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Anita’s grip tightened around her right hand. “Look, Ferain, I understand. It’s scary, right? I wasn’t there, but I’ve seen things on the news, I’ve seen videos and stuff. You remember when my mom wanted to talk to me a bit ago? It was about this. I try to hide it, and I think everyone else does too, but I think we’re all scared. There was a kid in Math yesterday that got into an argument with the professor over it. He was saying that we shouldn’t be spending time in the classroom learning about numbers, but that we should be learning how to fight more because of what’s coming. He looked so afraid. Normally, I would think that things would calm down, especially since the new Governor had just been voted in last week, but… Things keep getting worse every day. So, I think it’s normal for you to be afraid, Ferain.”
Anita looked out at the skyline and glowered seriously at the rising dawn. “I read that the other schools aren’t like ours. The Eagle Nation’s academy, Freerider, it’s more like a military school. Apparently, everyone who goes there signs up mainly because they want to fight for their nation. They know they’re being trained as soldiers, but they still do it, and they do it proudly. As for the Crown Nation’s Titania, well, they aren’t as extreme, but they do take their wielder studies more seriously than us. Their headmasters just aren’t like Professor Hakamura. From what I gauged from him, personally and from what you’ve told me about him, he doesn’t seem to be the kind of guy that likes our past deciding our futures. He wants us to forget about the reason we’re alive in the first place, but the others don’t, they embrace it. I think that’s why we’re so scared over here. My mom told me that in the Eagle Nation, there are some riots and stuff, but they’ve been shut down before any major casualties took place, unlike back home.”
“How?” asked Ferain.
“By using brute force.” Anita answered. “They’re over there now, and they said that they have a force, sort of like the Enforcers, and all they do is patrol around and squash any hints of rioting or rebellion. It’s the same principal that you explained to me earlier this year, I believe. You kill one person to save thousands, or something like that. I think that’s how they see it, and because of that, the idea of war is somewhat laughable. I read that even students at the academy are signing up as Junior Enforcers or something. They use it as a sort of elective to help give them real military experience.”
“Guji would hate that.” Fera murmured.
“Exactly, which goes back to why I think everyone is so frightened, even if they don’t say it. We don’t know what’s going to happen, and we don’t know what we can do if something does. The only thing I know is that we’ll most likely be the ones fighting, whether we have the training or not. My dad has friends in high places because of his business. He knows people in the government and even some people in the military. He said that the students would be enlisted if things escalate too much further. That's why he offered to take me out of the school.”
“He what?!” gasped Ferain, looking over at her partner with a shocked expression. “You didn’t tell me that.”
“I didn’t because I turned him down,” said Anita. “It’s unimportant. He wanted to move all of us to the Eagle Nation, where he was born. He even has a house already over there. I told him to shove it. I want to stay here with you, no matter what happens.” Anita leaned into Fera’s body and rested her head in the crook of Fera’s neck and shoulder. “No matter what happens, Ferain, we’ll both be fine. We have each other, and… I know that you think we’re monsters, but… I think that we can be good people too. Just like with humans, there are good ones and bad ones. I would like to believe that while some of us are out there blowing up cities, there are people like us that would never do such a thing.”
“I almost did, Anita.” said Ferain. “I wanted to.”
“But you didn’t, and that says a lot about you, Ferain. In the end, when that decision mattered most, when you had the opportunity to be a monster, you chose otherwise. You might not see yourself as a hero, but…” Anita’s voice shook slightly and she gripped Fera even tighter. “But you’re my hero anyway. You’re a good person, and you saved my life, and… and… You’re nothing like those other wielders out there. I don’t care about what you say, or what anyone else might say… You’re a hero to me, Ferain.” Anita sniffled quietly. “I want you to know one more thing. I don’t care if I have to fight an entire army of wielders, or if I have to take on the entire world for that matter. It doesn’t matter if the entire planet goes up in flames or if everyone is against us. I don’t care about any of it, because I’m not afraid of anything when I’m with you. I’ll take on everyone to stay right here, whether we get to live peacefully here or whether we have to fight a war. I’m not ever leaving this spot. Does that make you feel any better?
“What if I told you it didn’t?” asked Ferain.
She heard Anita sniffle and let slip a quiet giggle. “I’d hit you.”
“I know you would.” Fera said, giving a brief laugh of her own.
The truth was, she was trying not to cry too. Anita had never stopped showing her affection, but it still always surprised her whenever her partner would say things like this, things that only proved exactly how much she really cared about her. Ferain knew from experience that it wasn’t easy to admit your fear to someone, but to see Anita not only do that, but to do that and then spit in its face, all while showing Ferain why it would be impossible to love anybody else in her entire life… To put it simply, it filled Ferain with such a warmth and positivity that she was at a loss of what to do. In the end, she rested her head against Anita’s and smiled.
“Sometimes, even though it’s been over a year since we’ve met, I still forget that I’m not alone anymore. I have you and the others, and sometimes, I just forget that. I always think I need to do everything on my own, because that’s how I’ve always been. I never had a shoulder to lean on, a friend to explain things to… a partner that really understands me. It was always just me. Thank you for saying what you said, Anita, it really helped remind me that I have all of that now, and that it’s never going to go anywhere. What you said, I think it really did help me.”
“Good,” said Anita, laughing. “Then, enough of all this sappiness and let’s get some breakfast. I don’t know if you heard it yet, but my stomach has been growling up a storm.”
“I haven’t.” said Fera, giggling. “Come on, then, my treat. I’ll make something this morning.”
“Oh, a Fera original,” said Anita. “I’m excited now.”
“You should be.” said Ferain, giving Anita a light shove before turning towards the way back into the building.
After, she turned to look back at the skyline, her hair and clothing blowing gently in the breeze. The nightmares would never truly go away, and with all of this new tension in the air about whatever might come in the future, she might not be truly at ease. Still, she had Anita by her side, and she believed it when Anita said she’d take on the world to stay there. Why did Ferain believe this so much? Why did she have so much faith that everything would be okay in the end? It was because she knew she felt the same way. Fera would give up everything for her partner, and because of this realization, because of this promise to not only Anita but to herself as well, she knew that Anita was right about one more thing. She wasn’t a monster, at least not entirely. That part resided inside of her, of course. The beast that she had let out when fighting with Raven and Kiko and even during her training sessions with Itani, it was always going to be there now. However, just because it was there, that didn’t mean it was who she was.
Anita skipped past her and stood in the doorway, looking back in her direction. She had a lovely smile on her face, and while her eyes had a hint of redness from the sun and from her leaking emotions moments earlier, they still shone wonderfully with their gray-silver coloration. It was a sight Fera would never forget, and a sight that she would try to never take for granted again. She would cherish every time she got to see those eyes, and from now on, she would do everything she could to keep them glistening with happiness and love and acceptance.
“You’re a hero to me, Ferain.” Anita’s voice repeated in her mind.
Fera smiled as she looked down at her scarred hand, recalling the words she spoke during the moments when she received those horrible burns. “I’m no hero, Kiko. I’m a monster.” Fera grimaced now. “Maybe I was.” she thought. “But maybe that’s what growing up is supposed to be like. Maybe I was a monster, and maybe I don’t have to be one anymore. Maybe now… Perhaps I can be something better.” Fera looked up at her loving partner and her heart began to flutter, as it almost always did when they locked eyes. With a smile that was so genuine it probably looked unfamiliar on her youthful features, she rushed forward and nearly tackled Anita. Afterwards, she kissed her on the cheek, danced away towards the edge of the stairs, and laughed. “I’ll race you down.”
“You’re on.” Anita said joyously.
After a couple of short excited hops, Fera spun and changed into a blur of lightning as Anita gave chase as quickly as she could.