“A nightmare.” she thought, sitting in the middle of a void that lacked any life, any light, anything at all.

It was just her and the black expanse that surrounded her small body. Her knees were pulled up to her chest, her arms wrapped around them, her forehead resting against her kneecaps. A small glowing ball in all of the emptiness, that was what she was. Fera’s body was hot and stinging from the agonizing pain Yarin had put her through. It was a pain like she’d never experienced, a pain that she had only ever given to others, never accepted onto herself. It was the pain of her own powers. The smell of her roasting flesh as her mentor dumped all of his electricity into her body, the way she spasmed and convulsed and cried as it worked its way through her… these were things that would never leave her. In a way, they were the same as any physical scar she possessed.

This, more than anything else in recent months, broke her. All of her courage, all of her strength, every last bit of her training, it all abandoned her in that moment, leaving her to be torn apart by somebody she called a friend. It was too much. She couldn't bear it. An occasion to test herself arose and she failed… again. Streams of tears fell down her cheeks as she gritted her teeth and chastised herself for her weakness.

“A nightmare.” she repeated. “Had to be. I’ll wake up soon and it will be like it never happened. Yarin won’t be that… that monster. I won’t be like this. That girl… she would still be alive. That has to be right. This has to be a nightmare. It has to.”

Ferain did wake up soon after. Light broke through that dark armor she put up around herself, spilling in like a dam had just been broken, allowing all of the pent up radiance to flow properly again. Despite the light, in spite of the heater blowing softly within the closed off room, her body shivered still. Nothing felt right to her, not the glow from the globe above her, nor the face of the girl beside her. The world felt like it had been torn asunder. The carpet was pulled out from under her feet, taking reality with it and being replaced by something new, something disgusting and terrible. It was like that night all over again, the night her mother died. Inside her heart, she felt hollow, and she felt… afraid. No, it was more than just what that measly word could encompass. She felt completely petrified, horrified, panicked, and nauseated.

Fera felt as if curling up into a small ball and locking herself away back in that dark space would be for the best. She was used to it, after all. That darkness was where she spent so much of her childhood, alone and undisturbed by the world. Stepping back into the light, allowing herself to make friends and to even attempt a normal existence again, now all seemed like a massive mistake on her part. Fera looked over to see Anita, who was currently sleeping by her bed. Her arms were crossed on the edge of the mattress, and her left cheek was nestled within her folded arms, acting as a pillow for her. She let out several soft breaths from her slightly parted lips, and a small trail of drool had already begun to leak out from the corner of her mouth. The sight chased some of the fear away, it was too pure and beautiful to not do at least that much, but it was a minuscule amount.

“Anita.” she whispered.

Fera’s voice was already so quiet that whispering might as well have been a silent thought, but Anita surprisingly stirred at the sound of it. Her head shifted, her lips closed and opened again, and she sucked in a quiet breath before nuzzling herself deeper into her arms. Fera wanted to smile at the scene, but it felt like the ability to smile again was a million miles away from where she was now. It felt like even that was too within her reach. Honestly, for the present Ferain, smiling felt like an impossible feat that she would never be able to manage, not for as long as she lived. Deep down, somewhere in her heart and mind and soul, she knew that wasn’t the case, not really. The truth was, she would probably be smiling again within the week, not having forgotten this event, that was just impossible, but having learned to cope with it.

She also knew that it would be this girl here that would grant her that freedom. Softly, slowly, Ferain raised a hand and touched the back of it to the top of Anita’s head. Her skin tingled at the soft, cushioning sensation of Anita’s flawless silver hair. She easily ran her hand down it before letting her weakened limb fall lifelessly to the bed again.

“I love you.” said Ferain, whispering again, allowing the words to gently come out like an exhale and to disappear on the air.

It was as if they never existed in the first place. Nothing stirred, nothing took note that she spoke any words at all, and that was how she thought she wanted it. If Fera had to tell the truth in that moment, she didn’t know why this, out of everything she could’ve said or not said, was the phrase that made it past her lips. There was a chance that it was due to her near-death experience. How would she have felt if she died and those words were never spoken? How would Anita have felt if Fera died and she’d never once heard them aloud? It was this last question that made Ferain fully understand the situation she’d taken part in. It all rushed back to her, clearer than it had been even while she was experiencing it. It was like her brain secretly recorded everything so later, when her mind was clearer, she could review it for herself.

It was close to watching a movie again, one that you hadn’t paid much attention to the first time around for one reason or another. The second time watching it revealed details that were originally unnoticeable. Or, in her case, it simply painted it in a clearer picture. She saw Yarin more definitely, and the scene itself was perfectly stored in her mind’s eye. A few wheezy breaths came and went, seconds ticked by on the analog clock hanging above the wooden door of wherever she was, and yet, time seemed to almost stand still. Rain still ran down the glass beside her bed but any traces of lightning and thunder had been wiped from the world. She felt nothing besides her own body, and the subtle rising and falling of her closest friend’s body as she continued her sound rest. Fera reached out again, this time wanting to wake her partner up. She needed Anita to hear the words now, clearly and without hesitation.

“Anita.” she muttered again, in as loud a voice as she could manage, which again, was barely noticeable at all. Her throat felt swollen and she still felt numb from Yarin’s abilities. If she had to wager a guess, she hadn’t finished healing yet from the night's affairs. “Anita.” she repeated, this time speaking just a decibel higher, an almost inaudible difference.

Before she could try again, the door across the plain room, which she now took notice of, creaked open. The white-painted walls were pristine and equipment seemed to be lined up all over the place. Heart-rate monitors, screens for various other means, and utensils of all kinds were placed throughout the space. It was enough of a giveaway to let her know that she was in a hospital or some other sort of medical facility. Her eyes focused intently on the figure coming in through the door, and for half a heartbeat, she thought it might be Yarin. He was still out there somewhere, and she suspected that he would want her dead before taking the lives of any other students. She knew too much now and she needed to be eliminated before she could reveal anything to anybody.

However, she was put somewhat at ease when she saw the leather jacket and faded jeans of Agent Cross Key, who looked distraught and remorseful. The expression on his face showed his feelings almost as plain as if they were visible, physical scars that were carved there for that very purpose. After taking note of the sleeping girl beside Ferain, he quietly guided the door closed, not letting go of the handle until it clicked shut. He stood there momentarily, keeping his back to her, but after a few brief seconds, he turned and walked towards her bed. While traveling, he scooped up a chair one-handed and gently sat it down at her bedside before taking a seat upon it.

“Mr. Key?” she asked hoarsely.

He gave her a weak grin but kept his eyes low, staring at the floor instead of her face. “You sound like shit.” he weakly said. “The doctor said that you’ll be fine though.”

“I usually am.” came her terrible, whispered tone. “I heal fast, apparently.”

“Yes. A byproduct of your powers or a second ability altogether, they don’t know, but yes, you do. If that wasn’t the case, you… might've died tonight.”

“I know who it was.” Ferain murmured, almost hesitant to say the name. He killed all of those people, almost killed her, but he was her friend. It almost felt wrong to tell, even if it was the right thing to do. Luckily, it would seem that the need to give a name didn’t exist, as Cross nodded slowly and looked into her eyes for the first time since arriving.

“I already know who they are. Yarin Olira is already in custody.”

“Custody?” she asked.

“He turned himself in. Caswell found you outside your dorm room. She said somebody triggered the alarm by tampering with the lock system on the door, and it woke her up. That was when she hurried out to the hallway and found you against the wall, unconscious and injured. The burns weren’t too severe, and most of them seemed to have healed now, but she said you looked horrible when she found you. She called me right after, which was about two in the morning. I rushed back over and found a group of paramedics trying to safely lift you, but your powers would go wild whenever they got close. Long story short, I helped, you were brought here, and roughly two hours later, Olira arrived at the police department to turn himself in for the murders. He confessed to everything.” explained the weary agent.

Still, even after their confrontation, she almost couldn't believe it to be true. Yarin sounded so genuine when he promised her of his innocence. She couldn't help but believe him. She didn’t want to think that he was capable of such things, but after that night, after she saw the body in front of him, after what he did to her, it couldn’t be denied any longer. Ferain closed her eyes for a while, trying to come to terms with the reality of the world she lived in.

“I understand if you need time to take it all in,” said Cross. “I don’t intend to question you right now. There really isn’t a need to, after all. Between his own confession and your condition, I already have a clear enough image of what happened. I really only came to tell you that he is behind bars. I wanted you to know that you’re safe.”

“T-thank you.” she stammered. “Is it okay if I leave this bed?” she then asked.

“The doctor never mentioned anything against it, but I would advise that you get some more rest, kid. It’s been a long, terrible night for you.” He then glanced down at Anita’s sleeping figure. “You both deserve some peace and quiet.” He rose and started walking away from her for the second time in the last twenty-four hours. Just like before, she called out his name to stop him short of his exit.

“Cross? Those cigarettes you gave me, they…”

“I had them made for you specifically, same with the case. I understand what it’s like to have all of that pent up energy. When I was a child, I had the same problems. Sporadic fits and outbursts, being scorned for my inability to fully contain what I am, I’ve been through it all. I have failed you a lot during my stay here, Ferain Hirigaya, and all of it culminated into tonight’s events. At least on that one thing, I wanted to do something helpful. I hope they serve you well.”

“One more thing, Mr. Key.” she said, as he opened the door. “If the case is resolved, does that mean you and Mana will be going home?”

“Not yet. I still have some work to do so I’ll be here for the rest of the year. As for Mana, the decision is hers to make. Goodnight, Ms. Hirigaya.”

“Yeah.” Ferain said softly, flinching slightly as the door shut behind the older gentleman.

Ferain looked again to the partner that was still sleeping beside her, mournful over how much she has been putting this girl through. Anita didn’t deserve any of this, but thanks to Ferain, she was being dragged through it all. This wasn’t the first time Anita had slept beside an injured Fera, and if things continued on this current trajectory, it wouldn’t be the last. Every time, it made her feel more and more guilty over the pain and stress she was pushing onto this lovely person who had done nothing but be supportive to her. The words that came to mind almost made her chuckle… almost.

“It’s not fair.” she decided to murmur, reaching for her partner’s dozing figure once more. She touched the top of her head and ran a hand through the long slivers of dazzling silver. “I’m sorry. If I were stronger, if I were better than this… you wouldn’t need to be here.” Ferain smiled as tears welled up in the corners of her eyes. “You wouldn’t need to support me every step of the way. I wouldn’t have to lean on you every time. But… I do. I need you so much that it’s frustrating.” After a second of contemplation, she bit her lip until a bubble of blood blossomed from the minute puncture. “I hate it. I hate being this weak. I hate being so scared all the time. I hate having this body and these powers. I hate it all.” she growled, biting further into her lip as her jaws tensed and her hand clenched into a balled up fist.

“I don’t.” Anita whispered, causing Fera to open her tear-ridden eyes. She saw Anita, her head still resting in her folded arms, looking up at her with her round, innocent irises of dark clouds and sparkling moonlight. “I hate that you think of yourself that way.” she added, just as softly. “Being afraid isn’t a crime. Needing support and love isn’t something to be ashamed of. If it was, what would that make me? I’m always afraid. I always need support. I always wanted love. Do you hate that about me? Do you, Ferain? Do you despise how weak I am?”

“You’re not weak.” Fera muttered. “You would have stood your ground. You could have handled what–”

“How do you know?” Anita interrupted, turning her head so that she was staring at the wall of monitors and shelves instead of Ferain. Her expression was mostly hidden, but what Fera could see hinted at a dark, frustrated emotion. “I’ve always run from my problems. I cut myself because I couldn’t handle them anymore. I got tired of running but facing them was too much for me to handle. Two of them, they were real attempts to kill myself. I couldn’t fight it anymore.” Anita said, her voice quivering. “It was all too much. The lies, the stress, the bullying… the loneliness. I wanted to die, I thought it would be better. I’m not strong, especially when compared to you. It’s aggravating, really.”

Anita paused for a moment as she wiped her eyes on her sleeve and then buried her face into her arms again.

“You were so scared when we first met. You were like a little chick that was seeing the world for the first time. You were still stuffed in your tiny egg with nothing but your head poking out to see how dangerous it was outside. Even your own body scared you. I thought that I finally met somebody that was worse than me, somebody that was more afraid than I was. It made me feel… better somehow. It made me imagine, for the briefest moment, that I was actually worth something. If there was somebody more of a coward than I was, maybe I could find out what it meant to be brave. Then… you showed me up. You decided to face your fears, and not only that, but you conquered them. For the most part, you took your powers and ran with them. You’re no longer afraid of the thing that has given you nightmares for a majority of your life. And here I am, still running from everything that frightens me. I still have bad dreams where you leave me behind. I’m afraid that one day, you won’t need me anymore and you’ll run away. I’m afraid that if I’m honest and if I show you everything about me, that you’ll realize how pathetic I really am.”

Anita sniffled and shifted to look at the wall again.

Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.

“Even now, I still hide these stupid marks on my arm because I don’t want everyone to hate me for what I did. How am I stronger than you, Ferain? You, who takes so much ridicule on a daily basis and still keeps moving forward just to prove them all wrong. You, who had been put through things I could only imagine and can still smile and laugh when we’re together.” Anita then glared up at Ferain and there was a dangerous hostility burning within them. “Tell me how I’m better than you.” she hissed. “Tell me how you can look into my eyes and still stomach what you’re seeing. Tell me how I’m not pathetic and terrible and worthless! Tell me, Ferain!” Anita’s eyes began to glow as she pushed herself up and planted both hands against the edge of the bed. “I used you! Before I fell for you, before I knew a thing about you, I used you to make myself feel better! I lied to you! I saw somebody that was weaker than myself and jumped at the opportunity to know what it felt like to be better than somebody for a change. So, how am I stronger? How can you possibly love me? How do I deserve it?!”

Fera was stunned into silence, and somehow, the terrible events from hours earlier didn’t seem to matter at the moment. The world didn’t exist outside of this room, and all that was relevant was herself and this girl in front of her, the one that she considered to be her closest friend. It was the girl that now looked like a completely different person. Anita’s face was twisted in fury and tears ran down her cheeks, eventually dripping down onto the floor in the space between her body and the bedside. Her puffy, glowing eyes had a malice in them that Ferain’d never seen from Anita before, not even during the confrontation with Marrow in the school hallway. In her balled up fists, of which the knuckles were becoming white from the strain of her tensed muscles, were the pristine sheets that covered the mattress.

“You’re lying to me.” Fera said softly, refusing to believe a single word Anita told her. There was no way that Anita actually felt the way she said she did. It was impossible to imagine that she’d want to kill herself before coming here, and the mere thought that Anita pretended to be so supportive at the start of the year was just straight blasphemy, it couldn't be true. She was Fera’s first real friend, and now, they both had feelings for one another that she’d never felt for any other person in her life. Anita was everything to her, and Anita told her that it was the same way with her. If that was the case, the idea that the start of their relationship was a lie was simply too far-fetched to even be considered a possibility.

“I’m not.” she assured her. “I was genuinely kind, and I was certainly happy to meet you. Our friendship was real. But… I took pleasure in being better than you. I… I looked down on you a bit. I did the same things to you that people had done to me my entire life. I saw that you didn’t have anything, no control, no friends, nothing… and I enjoyed it. It all changed after I got to know you. I fell in love, so obviously I feel differently now, but I can’t deny that those feelings existed. So honestly, Ferain, how can you really love somebody like that? How can you sit there and think I’m better than you?”

Ferain tried to snap out of her musings as quickly as possible, but she thought on a proper answer for a while. The silence between them, the quiet that drowned the room they inhabited, grew to a point where it almost felt physical, like a veil that was slowly being draped over the pair of them. A pained, knowing look gleamed behind Anita’s eyes and she hung her head, accepting whatever she thought Fera’s feelings to be.

“See. Now you finally realize what I am. I’m the real coward here, Ferain. I–”

“Shut up.” Ferain muttered, causing Anita to stop in her tracks.

“W-what?” Anita gasped, choking on the words she was about to speak.

“I said to shut up. If not for you, if not for your support this entire year, I wouldn’t have accomplished any of the stuff I did. I wouldn’t be here now, not in this school, not on this damn island. I would be back home, living the same exact life I’d lived since I was five. It was your kindness and strength that got me to where I am today. That’s why I think you’re better than me. No. That’s why I know you’re better than me. It’s because, if not for you, I wouldn't even be the current me.”

Fera felt her courage building inside of her again and she grabbed Anita’s face with both hands, planting them firmly against her cheeks to maintain her undivided attention.

“And you’re not always running away.” she said firmly. “You showed me those scars of yours. You didn’t have to, but you did. You faced your fears that night, and you…” Fera blushed brightly as she looked away for half a second. Just as quickly, she met Anita’s stunned expression once more and flashed her own determined glare. “You showed me what living really feels like. You made me have a heart again. You made me realize that life might actually be worth living.”

“And now you’re being honest.” Anita gently muttered. “You’ve never told me that before.”

“I told you that you were special to me. I told you that you saved my life.” Fera said.

“You never went into detail.” Anita said, almost grinning, but Fera could see her trying to fight away the urge to smile. “Honestly, a part of me thought you were just repeating what I said. I thought that maybe you felt pressured just because I came at you the way I did.”

“I just didn’t know how to phrase it, Anita. Through all of what’s happened this year, you were always there for me, and I needed it everytime. You’re my sun. Most of my life has been darkness, but you’re the one thing that broke through and shed some light on it. I keep getting hurt and I keep worrying you and you still stay by me, pushing through everything I keep forcing on you.”

This time, despite everything, Anita did genuinely smile. “What it sounds like to me is that we’re both weaklings that need to support each other.”

“But we both think the other one is strong.” Fera added, unable to fight back her own odd sort of grin. It wasn’t a full on smile, nor was it one hundred percent genuine, but it wasn’t completely false either.

Anita then looked up into her face with a look stricken by some emotion Ferain couldn't place. “So, what do we do about it, then?” she asked. “I don’t think I deserve your love, and you don’t think you deserve mine. We both think the other is stronger, but we think of ourselves as weaker. Yet, we both need each other to keep living. With that being said, what happens now?”

“I don’t know.” Fera admitted. “I know that after last night, I can’t do this on my own, not yet. And I meant it when I said that I don’t ever want you gone from my life. I…” Fera paused, bit her tongue, and then hurriedly pulled Anita’s face closer to hers. She kissed her gently on the lips, savoring the sweet flavor of her. She didn’t know if this was the lipgloss or if she just had this natural sweetness, but she felt almost intoxicated by it. Reluctantly, she pulled away and stared into Anita’s eyes. “I won’t ever stop needing you. I am weak, and I will always need help. It is aggravating to think that I won’t ever be able to handle all of this on my own. But, maybe what you said… about it not being bad to rely on people… maybe I can learn to think the same way. Maybe my need for you in my life will become a want instead. Perhaps it’s already a bit of both and I’m just too stupid to realize it.”

“So?” asked Anita, sounding curious and slightly confused.

“So…” Fera started. “So, I think I… I know I love you. I want us to be together for as long as we can be, whether I need your support or not. I want to be as strong as you think I am. I don’t want what happened last night to ever happen again. Eventually, I want to be the girl that is worthy of loving you.”

Anita’s expression softened and she nuzzled into Fera’s soft hands, pressing them to her face with her own. “Then I will make it my goal to do the same. I’ll get stronger too, starting today.” Anita looked at her shyly, looked away, and then their eyes met once more. “I love you, Ferain Hirigaya.”

“I love you, Anita.” Ferain said.

Anita rose from her chair, climbed up onto the bed, and straddled Ferain’s smaller body. Since Fera was sitting against the headboard, it was a little different than when they were on the floor in Fera’s bedroom before, and for some reason, this felt even more promiscuous. She pressed her body against Fera’s while leaning her head closer. She didn’t move to her lips though, deciding instead to pull Fera into a tight, warm embrace. Her head rested on Fera’s shoulder and she could feel Anita’s breaths, soft and rapid, blowing against the right side of her neck.

“I’ll be there next time, Ferain, I promise you. I won’t let anything like last night happen ever again. I don’t care how much you hate depending on people, I won’t let you suffer something like that alone anymore. We’re a team, lovers or not, and I want to be there for you until the day I die. You’re my purpose, Ferain. You’re the reason I failed those two times to take my life. I was kept here to be with you, I know it… and I’m glad. Over this last year, you’ve given me a lot of reasons to be thankful I failed that night. All of the memories, both good and bad, all make me grateful that I’m still alive. So… I don’t ever want to see this much pain on your face ever again. I can’t promise it won’t happen, but I promise that you won’t bear it alone. Every burden you face, I’ll face it too. Every bit of pain you have to endure, I’ll share it with you. You are mine and I am yours, okay?”

“I am yours and you are mine.” Fera replied, raising her weakened arms and squeezing Anita back, soaking in the scent of her body and the warmth she radiated, taking it all in as her own.

Ferain felt completely drained afterwards. Between the days of holding back her powers due to the storms, her encounter with Yarin, and this whole ordeal with a much more honest Anita, she didn’t have any energy left to spare. The only thing that seemed to have eased up on her was the terrible fever that had made her head so hazy and scrambled in the first place. With a break from her struggle against her own abilities, she took the opportunity to curl back up in the sheets of the hospital bed, and Anita took the chance to crawl under them with her. Ferain didn’t mind, and to her, it seemed that they both needed this. While to themselves, they were crumbling walls that were chipped and broken and slowly falling away, to the other they were strong and firm and permanent. They needed each other, and so they shared a look with one another, closed their eyes, and were soon enveloped by sleep once more, each encompassed by the other's warmth and love.

Only a few mere hours went by before waking again, seeing as it was already well into the morning when their impromptu snooze came upon them. Beside Ferain, Anita still slept lazily. She was on her side so they were still facing one another, exactly as they were when they fell asleep. Her arms were folded under her head and her flowing silver hair fell across the pillow and sheets. It was a lovely sight. A sight that instantly made Ferain blush as she recalled what it was they’d done. It wasn’t the sleeping together that brought this sudden bashfulness on, it was the kiss they shared, the words that were said, and the certainty in which Fera had spoken with.

“I am yours.” Fera murmured softly, cautious of waking her slumbering princess. She wanted to test the phrase on her tongue, grow used to the words that she had used to cement their… “Our what, exactly?” she wondered. They didn’t exactly make it that far in the conversation, or… perhaps, was what they were now not something that needed to be explicitly stated? Were their simple confessions and the quick, powerful kiss enough of a sign of where they stood? Did this mean that they were now more than just basic friends? Fera’s face grew hot, despite everything. “If we’re a couple now…” Fera thought, staring intently at the slightly parted lips of her beautiful, wonderful partner.

Almost against her will, as if she was a stringed puppet being forced closer, Fera leaned in to Anita's slumbering expression, and when she neared it enough to feel the breaths on her face, she made her move. A soft peck was all she had enough courage to perform, but it didn’t feel like enough to satisfy her. She felt like steam could be rising from her at any moment with how hot her body was getting, and for a second, she thought her fever was coming back. Entranced, as if hypnotized, she leaned in for another. Fera’s soft lips touched Anita’s and this time, she was determined to get her fill of the sweet sensation that shivered through her body. As her eyes were closing and she did another couple of quick pecks, a girlish, groggy giggle caused her to squeak and almost jump out of her skin. Anita didn’t open her eyes but she smiled wearily.

“You know, that might be considered sexual harassment.” Anita pointed out quietly, her voice gravelly and strange from the sleepiness she was still chasing off.

“S-sorry.” Fera quickly apologized. “I… I… Well, you know, I… Uhhh…”

Anita laughed as one gray eye revealed itself. “I didn’t say I mind.” her raspy morning voice conveyed, giving ease to Fera’s rising nerves. “It’s a bit weird… Not the sexual harassment, I mean.”

“Errr.” Fera groaned uncomfortably, feeling ashamed for her lack of control and her bizarre, uncharacteristic actions.

“I mean the kissing.” Anita then said, still grinning from ear to ear. “I don’t hate it, it’s just… odd. I dreamed about it a lot, you know? Just… never thought we would actually do it. I like it, but I think it will take a bit of time to go from friends to girlfriends.”

“G-girl…” Fera stammered.

“Friends.” Anita finished, gigging again as she rose into a sitting position. She wiped her eyes on her arm and then looked at Fera with both of her gleaming irises now open fully. “I mean, if you don’t want to be, that’s fine. I just thought that after last night and all…”

“No, I do… I mean… I…”

“Calm down a bit, okay?”

“Sorry.” Fera said, lowering her gaze and grimacing.

To this, Anita shook her head and patted Fera on hers. “You’re so stupid sometimes, you know that? I love ya though. Anyway, good morning. We should probably get going soon. I’m starving and I need to get caught up on homework before school tomorrow.”

At this, Fera’s smile instantly vanished. The thought of school somehow escaped her. With everything that was happening and all, perhaps it was to be expected. Still, the idea of returning to regular classes without Yarin being there seemed wrong to her. The idea that most of the world would just go on about their business after such a terrible event had occurred the night before was blasphemous.

“It’s going to be different now.” Fera muttered glumly.

“Because of Yarin?” asked Anita. “I don’t mean to belittle what happened in any way, Ferain, I really don’t, but how would things change all that much? Yarin was our friend, but it’s not like he spent a lot of time with us, and besides, we have our own classes and…” Anita stopped upon seeing the conflicted, grief-stricken face of her friend. After a sigh, she let her own gleeful, upbeat mask fall away. “I know what you mean. Sorry, I was just trying to keep you cheered up. I suppose things will change now, huh? Probably not for most of the students, but for us. We know, and that’s what makes the difference, I think.”

“Yeah, me too.” said Fera. “How do you think Lilipa and Kiko are taking it?”

“Kiko most likely doesn’t care, but Lilipa… I like picking on her, but really, she’s not that bad. I… I imagine she’s probably devastated. She’s known Yarin for all this time and for him to just do something like this… It probably broke her heart to find out. Do you want to go pay her a visit later?” asked Anita.

“No, it’s likely better to give her some space for a few days. We’ll see her at school anyway.”

“I suppose so.” Anita agreed, sounding completely deflated now, which Ferain felt terrible for.

They had a great change in their relationship, and the morning didn’t have to be dragged down and ruined by what happened the previous night. Fera should have just let it go for now, seeing as there was nothing to be done about it anyway. In an attempt to reignite the dying embers of their morning together, she shyly took Anita’s hand in her own and smiled when their eyes met.

“We can deal with all of that later. Without a doubt, it will still come up. For now, I’m pretty hungry too. How about we stop by some diner on the way home, my treat.”

“Yeah, okay.” Anita said, regaining her positive, beaming disposition. “First things first, though.” Anita said, grabbing her bag from a place beside the bed and rummaging through it. She pulled out a small plastic bottle of clear, odorless liquid and a thin rag. “I promised that I would start working on getting stronger today. I plan on keeping my word.” Anita stated firmly.

She collected some of the liquid on the surface of the rag and began rubbing the damp cloth against her left forearm, exactly where all of the tiny, straight lashes existed permanently upon her flesh. When she was done, she threw the used rag away and held up her arm for Ferain to see. She saw all thirteen scars that represented so much of Anita’s pain and struggles in her past. It gave rise to a strange feeling, one that Fera couldn’t exactly place. It hurt a bit, but there was also something that might have been pride. It wasn't pride in herself or her achievements, it was pride for her friend’s courage and determination to go through with this promise of hers. She knew it was difficult to reveal your secrets to people. After all, Fera herself had yet to show her scars to anybody except for Anita and Marrow. At least, willingly showed. Maple knew too, but that was due to her recent dives into voyeurism.

“Are you sure?” Fera asked her.

Timidly, Anita nodded her head. Her right hand subconsciously moved to grab hold of her forearm, though it was a vain attempt to hide the many noticeable blemishes. “I think so. It’s kind of hard, but… I want to do this. I need to do this, otherwise I will always be stuck in this place forever. I won’t ever change.”

With a smile on her face, Fera turned and started walking towards the door. Suddenly, a hand grabbed her own and when she glanced over her shoulder, she saw Anita staring at the ground, seemingly embarrassed by something.

“I… I can’t do it alone. Can you hold my hand for a while longer? I feel more confident with you there.”

“Touching or not, Anita, I’ll always be by your side. But yes, I’ll hold your hand.”

They shared a gleeful expression and finally left the room after collecting the rest of their things.