Ferain stepped out of a cab, and what she looked at in front of her was an older, modern home, if that made any sense. It wasn’t like the boxy white homes that were fairly commonplace all over the world, but it was one that wasn't entirely old fashioned either. It had a bit of western architecture to it, like it had been imported from the Eagle Nation, more specifically the North American region of it. It was a single story, had a tan colored paint job, and a few square windows in the front, as well as some smaller ones on the sides and back. The roof had two peaks on the front side, and a small chimney was located near the back-right corner of the home. She walked past a black gate, followed the square slabs of gray concrete that made up the walkway towards the dark stained door, and stared at it for a second, conflicted about whether she should knock or just walk inside.
It was technically her home, had been since she was born, but she hadn’t seen it in almost a year. Even the whole month she’d been back on the mainland was spent avoiding this place… avoiding the person that paid for it in her place. She took a long breath, a habit she’d picked up that occasionally helped to calm her, and then raised her hand to knock on the door. Just as she did, the knob turned and the wooden entrance swung inward, away from her raising knuckle. In the doorway was a shorter woman with graying hair and similar golden eyes to Ferain and her mother, though from age or genetics, they lacked some of the sheen Ferain’s had. She had on a blue, ankle-length dress, and a long tannish coat was draped around her. Her posture had a slight slouch to it, mostly due to her age, Fera assumed, and her expression had a coldness to it that only this woman seemed able to accomplish.
“What are you doing?” her grandmother asked, with a somewhat dry, quiet tone.
“I… I was going to knock. I didn’t know if I could just walk in so…”
“As much as I’m sure you hate it here, it is still your home. You don’t need to knock to come inside.” the old woman said, as if Fera needed reminding.
“I don’t hate it, I… You’re right. I should have–”
“You lost it.” Fera’s eyes widened by her grandmother’s interruption.
“What? Lost what?”
The old woman jabbed a finger towards Fera’s slightly exposed neck, though Fera didn’t fail to notice that she kept it a fair distance away, so as to not get shocked. “My necklace. Where is it if it’s not lost?”
“I don’t know.” Fera quietly admitted. “There was a lot that happened and I–”
“Irresponsible. That crystal has been in our family for generations and–”
“If you would just let me explain, I can–”
“Quiet. Don’t raise your voice with me, Ferain. Come in, we need to talk about your father.”
“We have a lot to talk about, actually.” Fera muttered under her breath.
“What?” snapped the woman.
“I’m coming.”
Fera walked past her grandmother, making her fidget uncomfortably as Ferain intentionally brushed an arm against her while passing. The house wasn’t large, nor was it overly decorated. A few family photos, some basic pieces of furniture, but nothing really special about it. The wooden floors were clean, as they always were, and even the walls barely had any dust on them. This meant that while Fera’d been away, somebody had been coming to clean it every so often in her stead. Fera stepped into the archway that led into the kitchen, and at once, so many memories played again in her mind. Times where she helped her mother with dinner or lunches, and times where she sat at the little table by the window and watched the rain bead down the glass. There were bad times as well, like the arguments Harriet and Tobi, her parents, would get into occasionally, more so after Fera started damaging things with her powers.
They never struck each other, not once, but they both said nasty things to one another, and it was all because of her and what she was. For a long time, she blamed herself for all of it. She blamed herself for her mother’s death, for all of their fights, and for all of the pain that both had been through. If she hadn’t been born with these powers, if she hadn’t been born at all, they would both still be alive, and possibly happily married still. They would have other children, and if Fera was born, though not as a monster, maybe she would have siblings. She would have more family, and maybe they would have all loved each other as much as she thought families did.
“Hindsight is a terrible thing to dwell on.” she reminded herself. “What-ifs, has-beens, none of it matters. The only way to go is forward.”
“Ferain, come on. I have other plans for today and I–”
“I’m coming!” Fera shouted, before giving one final look at the kitchen. “Don’t worry, I won’t intrude on you for much longer.” she said to the empty room, mentally saying farewell to this place.
She continued towards the living area in the back corner of the house, where the chimney was. It was a quant room with a sofa, a loveseat, and a reclining chair. The chimney had some glass doors that would fold outward whenever used, though she’d never actually seen it alight with anything more than some candles in front of it whenever the power went out. There was a dark rug in the center of the room, and a few family photos of her mother’s on the walls, but nothing else really. Her grandmother was already on the sofa, waiting impatiently for Ferain to finally come and take a seat of her own. She sat in the chair, staying away from her last remaining family as much as possible, and waited for the woman to break the silence of her own volition.
“How was your first year at the academy?” asked the woman.
“Do you care?” Fera questioned.
“I asked. If I didn’t care, I wouldn't ask. How was your year? I see your arm is wrapped up, and you have some new blemishes to show off.” she said, gesturing towards the scar that ran down Fera’s right cheek, and the obviously hidden limb at her right side.
“A lot happened, actually,” said Fera. “It’d take a while to explain. If you don't have a lot of time, I would rather not waste it by talking about it.”
“Why do you have to be like that?”
“Like what?”
“Distant. Reclusive. Frustrating. I’m trying to talk to you and you’re pushing me away.”
“I’m pushing you away?!” shouted Fera, her eyes glowing slightly in the dim room. Her grandmother recoiled and Fera had to take a breath to steady herself, returning her eyes to their usual sheen and radiance. “Why do you lie to me?” Fera asked her in return. “You’ve hated me since that night. I killed your daughter, my own mother, and you can’t stand to look at me. I know it makes you sick, so why do you even try to act like it doesn’t?”
“Because you’re my granddaughter, and my blood. What happened to Harriet was a mistake, an accident. It’s not your fault you were born with such a horrible ability.”
“Nor is it my father’s fault for chasing us into an alley and pulling the trigger, right? But you don’t blame him, do you? You only blame me.”
“You’re so… so…”
“So what?” asked Ferain.
“Unhelpful.” her grandmother snapped. The older woman then pressed her wrinkled hand to her forehead and sighed. “I’m not here to argue with you. If I didn’t care, I wouldn’t have taken care of you for all of these years.”
“Is that what you call it?”
“What I call it doesn't matter!” the woman shouted. “I pay to keep this roof over your head. I pay to keep you fed. I pay for your clothes and for the books that you need to learn the same things kids your age learn in school. I pay, since you can’t get a job, to make sure you live as normally as possible, even with your disability.” Fera’s eyes flashed at the word and blue sparks began snapping around her.
“Disability? Am I sick or broken to you?”
“You have a problem that does not allow you to function like normal people, so yes, you do. You are broken, Ferain. You can’t be trusted around people, you can’t be trusted to go to school, and you can’t be let out into the world without the risk of killing whoever you touch. I call that a disability. So, with you and your condition, I am left to pick up the pieces. I do care about you, and I have taken care of you, even if I’m not always around. However, now that your father is awake, I think it’s time to start discussing how things go from here.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“That means that he can come back home. He can get a job and–”
“Come back?!” Fera screamed, rising from her seat this time. “He tried to kill me. He is the reason your daughter is dead! You want him to come back?!”
“I know how you feel, but I talked with him and he seemed remorseful over what he did. He made a mistake. He wants to try to–”
“A mistake.” Fera spat, laughing harshly with blue currents radiating around her now, almost uncontrollably. “You can’t be serious.”
“I can’t take care of you forever, Ferain. I’m getting old, and I don’t make enough to keep supporting you on my own. If you want to keep living here, we need to figure something out.”
“I’ll die before I let him live in the same home as me.” Fera growled.
“You just might if I can’t keep buying your food for you.”
“You can keep your damn food, and your money.” Fera snapped, stepping closer to her. “I knew coming here was a mistake. Well, I’ll tell you what. I’m gone. I’ll pack my things and you can sell the damn home. I’ll leave.”
“Ha. And where would you go? What would you do without my money, hmm?”
“A gutter if I have to. I’m not even entertaining the idea that the man that tried to kill me would live under the same roof, let alone try to be my father again. I don’t care if he feels guilty, in fact, I hope it eats him from the inside out until there’s nothing left but pain and agony and self-loathing. Then he would know a fraction of what I’ve been through this entire time he’s been asleep. For him that was yesterday, but for me, that was ten years ago. I had to live with this for almost eleven years of my life, all spent in solitude, thinking I was a monster because you always treated me like one! I won’t have it!” Fera yelled furiously, and as she finished with a wave of her left hand, a wave of blue static lashed out and burned the wall.
“So, you’re really going to leave?” asked her grandmother. “What is wrong with you, Ferain? You have a home, you have a school now, and now you could even get your father back. You have all you could possibly want.”
“He’s not my father anymore.” Ferain hissed venomously. “And you’re not my family either.” Fera started walking away before stopping in the archway of the living room. “Mother’s crystal, I did lose it. I was attacked and almost killed by a fellow student last month. In the fight, it got lost somehow. Now I’m thinking that it might be for the best that everything in our family just disappears.”
Fera stormed up the stairs to her bedroom. She didn’t have a lot of belongings. Some books she’d probably never read again, some old journals that she easily stuffed into an old bag she found under her bed, and a few more personal effects, like ribbons for her hair or bracelets she’d gotten as gifts during her early childhood. It only took roughly twenty minutes for all of her stuff to be packed away and on her back as she stormed down the steps again. She didn’t even bother with a final, longful look at the room that had been her safe place for so long. This was because on top of being the safest place in her life, it was also the loneliest. Many days and nights were spent there, huddled up and wondering if she’d ever have a friend again, or if she’d ever be able to touch another person in her life.
Now, as she was leaving for what might be the last time, she found that those painful nights only made this all the more desirable for her; to get as far away as possible, and to never look back. When Fera reached the bottom, she saw the older woman standing in her way, a sad expression on her face as Fera’s glowing eyes glared murderously in her direction.
“Move.” Fera spat.
“No.”
“I said to move. I’ll hurt you if I have to. Isn’t that what you’re afraid of? You’re afraid of me killing you, just like I did Mom?”
“Don’t talk like that.”
“Move.” she said one final time, as blue light cracked and snapped around her left hand.
Slowly, the woman did so. As Fera stomped past her, she stopped as her grandmother called her name. “Ferain. You don’t have to go. It was just an idea, nothing more. If you hate it that much, I’ll tell him so.”
This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.
“It’s not just him.” Fera said, glancing over her shoulder. “You talk to me like I’m diseased. You act like I’m one second away from blowing the house up. What really bothers me is that you’re exactly like he was. Mom was the only one that believed I could have control someday, and just so you know, she was right, I do. I’ve learned how to manage what I am, and I know how to release it safely. But you still only see a monster when you look at me, so I can’t be around that anymore. I can’t. I’m finally finding the life I’d missed out on all of this time. I’m making friends… I have a girlfriend, a person that loves me for who I am, and isn't afraid of me because of my past or what I can do. Be sure to tell Tobi that when you see him. Tell him he can have the house, but he’ll never have me again.”
“You should tell him yourself.”
“No, I don’t think I should. I think that if I see him again… I might actually kill him. He shouldn’t be alive, not when my mother isn’t. It’s not fair, and this one time, I’ll agree with both of you. I can’t be trusted around him, not yet, maybe not ever. I appreciate your so-called upbringing, but this might be the last time you see me. Goodbye.”
“Ferain, wait. Ferain!” called her grandmother, but she did not stop… she did not listen.
Ferain continued walking past the gate, down the road, around several corners, and still, she did not stop. Eventually, she found herself back at Anita’s home. It was hours later, time spent walking, thinking, and calming herself down. Her home, which was more like a three-story tall manor, had a brick exterior, matching a more western style. From what Anita had told her in the past, her father lived in the Eagle Nation before coming here for a business trip, where he met Anita’s mother, and eventually, he moved here permanently. There was a long crescent-shaped driveway that sat in front of the massive home, and out in the yard on either side of it were hedges and shrubbery and some smaller trees. Large windows with a dozen or so panes for each were on the front of the house with some smaller or even bigger windows on the other sides. The front doors were easily two times Fera’s size, with a dark, ebony-hued stain. When opened, the interior of expensive imported rugs and family photos and marble tiled floors was revealed. Antique wooden tables, modern entertainment systems, and memorabilia from both the Crown Nation and the Eagle Nation were on display all over the place.
Fera sat down in the entryway, unzipped the sides of her boots, and slid her feet out of them. She set them gently next to Anita’s own fur-lined boots of expensive, high-quality leather, which made Fera’s drab and scuffed boots a poorer sight than usual. With her bag of belongings on her shoulder, she headed through the main room towards a curved staircase of varnished wooden steps that followed a half-circle shaped wall up towards the next floor, where Anita’s bedroom was. This floor also had two bathrooms, and her parents' room, as well as another office on the eastern side. The floor above was off-limits, as it had her parents' main offices, and a miniature library that her mother had started for herself. As she walked the white tiled floors towards the end of the western hall, she heard a soft guitar playing coming from the other side of a white door with multiple musical note stickers slapped in several places.
Quietly, as to be as unobtrusive as possible, she opened the door, but of course, the noise she made didn’t bother Anita’s playing at all. After clicking the door shut, she turned to see Anita sitting on her bed, smiling over at her as she hummed along to a skillful tune that sounded like an embodiment of melancholy. Some loose slivers of silver hair fell around Anita’s face as she bent over the old acoustic guitar she loved with all of her heart, and she had a smile that could ease the worst pain from any wounded soul. Unable to stop herself, Ferain grinned at the sight as she gingerly set her bag down by the door.
Anita’s room was a lovely little place to be. It wasn’t all that large, to be honest, especially when compared to every other room in the house. She had space for her bed, a desk, and some stands for a few more guitars that she had acquired at one point or another. There was also a keyboard set up by the closet door, and she had a few frames hanging on the walls with posters of musicals or photos that she’d taken around the city whenever she managed to escape the house with Regi. The walls were a soft sort of pink, not an annoyingly dark or bright shade, but one that was somehow comforting and calming, like there was just enough white in it to lighten it up the perfect amount. The ceiling was white, like the rest of the home, and her floor was a pristine gray carpeting.
A cozy place if Ferain had ever seen one. With the subtle, soothing melodies of Anita’s playing filling the room, she slowly walked over to a chair by the computer desk and sat down, watching her partner continue her dream-like trance as she grew lost in her music. While playing still, Anita ceased her humming and glanced up to look in Ferain’s direction, smiling softly.
“You’re back pretty late.” she said.
“Yeah, well, I wanted some space… some time to think.”
“Oooh. What about?” After a second of her taking in Fera’s darkening expression, her smile faded and she gently pressed a hand over the strings to stop the noise. “Your family?” she asked then.
“I… don’t want to talk about it.” said Fera, looking anywhere but her friend’s face.
“Nonsense.” said Anita, setting the guitar down and lightly slapping a space on the bed beside her. “Come on, sit down and tell me what happened.”
“Anita, I–”
“I won’t give you your present unless you tell me.”
“That wasn’t part of the deal.” argued Ferain.
“Uhhh, yeah it was. I don’t mean to sound argumentative, Fera, but I remember specifically telling you that you have to tell me about it.” Anita pointed out. Fera glowered at the ground. “Oh, don’t be such a grouch. Come on, talk to me.”
Fera shook her head, rose from the chair, and walked over to the place Anita had gestured to. She sat with her legs crossed and her hands in her lap while Anita gave her a loving grin.
“I don’t want to ruin your mood.” Fera said.
“That bad?”
Fera took a breath and clenched her hands into fists. “I lied to you.” she admitted. “That day my grandmother messaged me, back on the ship, I didn’t tell you the full truth.”
“I kinda suspected that, Fera. I’ve told you before and I’ll tell you a thousand times again, you suck at lying… at least to me, anyway. I can see right through you ninety percent of the time. So, what’s the full truth?”
“My dad woke up.” Fera answered, her voice growing quieter and the muscles in her jaw tensing so her mouth was clenched tight.
Her body seemed to be trying to avoid spilling any of it out into the open, and it was protesting against her faint willingness to tell the truth. Anita didn’t say anything in return, she just nodded and waited for Ferain to continue on her own.
“He woke up and she wanted to meet so we could think of what to do next. She…” Fera stopped for a second as she felt her anger rising again, and the pain of betrayal began soaking deep into her chest, like a knife was being plunged into her heart and twisted. “She wants him to come back. She wants to hand me over to him now that he’s awake. She said she can’t afford to keep me going anymore on her own, and since I’m broken and can’t support myself, she wants him to take over looking after me again.”
“Oh.” came Anita’s quiet tone. “Fera, I–”
“I can't believe she would do something like that.” Fera said, cutting her off. She looked into Anita’s face and had tears running down her cheeks and an anger in her eyes that was like a blazing fire or a raging storm. “She’s from my mom’s side of the family. He’s the reason she doesn’t have a daughter anymore, yet she’d forgive him over me. She said that he felt bad and wanted to make things right, but where was my chance to do that? She never once offered me an opportunity to be forgiven, but to him…” Fera shook her head and took a fistful of her hair in her left hand out of frustration. “She’d forgive him over me. I didn’t mean to do it, but she’d…”
There was a solid touch on her shoulder, and then her cheek as Anita caressed it with her hand. Her other hand joined Fera’s remaining cheek and her face was turned to see Anita’s again.
“Look at me.” Anita softly stated. “Are you looking? Are you really looking?” Fera could only manage a nod but that seemed to be enough. “Good. Look into my eyes and not anywhere else.” Ferain did so. She made sure to focus solely on the glassy gray surface that glistened like an ocean of dazzlingly beautiful clouds right before a storm. In them, she saw a faintly warped reflection of herself. “Don’t worry about them, okay? You and me, that’s all that matters. No stupid dads, no selfish grandmothers, no haughty, abandoning parents… just you and me.” Anita used her thumbs to wipe the tears away from Fera’s eyes and cheeks and smiled. “Oh, and maybe there’s enough room for one more too.”
“Hmm?” wondered Ferain, with a faint sniffle.
“Your present. As promised, I’ll give it to you now.” She took her hands away and made Fera look away as she rose and started grabbing things.
“Anita, what are you doing?”
“Shhh, stop talking.” Anita said. “And make sure your eyes are closed.”
“But you said…”
“Just do it.” Anita ordered, and after a sigh, Fera closed her eyes as commanded.
In her blind darkness, she felt and heard Anita ease herself onto the bed beside her, but on the left side now instead of the right. She felt Anita’s hand touch her with something wet and cold and slightly numbing. It was her left earlobe that Anita seemed to take in hand as softly as she could, though Fera could still faintly feel the callouses on her fingers from countless hours of strumming her guitar.
“Oh, I should probably start off by getting your consent. So, is it alright if I put a hole in your ear?”
“A wha– Ow!” Fera gasped, hurriedly raising her hand to her ear. “What was that?” She opened her eyes and saw Anita sitting there with her tongue out and an odd gun-like contraction in her hand.
“It’s a piercing gun.” said Anita, giving it another two clicks as if to show off the device. Fera lightly jabbed a finger against her ear but Anita quickly swatted it away. “Don’t do that. We need to keep the hole clean. I had everything sterilized so don’t go sticking your finger there and contaminating it.”
“Cont… Hold up a second. Did you really just… Don’t you have to be taught how to do this, Anita?”
“Of course, and I obviously know what I’m doing. Regi taught me when he gave me the gun.”
“And he knows how to give piercings?” Fera asked incredulously.
“Yeah, I mean, who do you think did mine? Now close your eyes again and hold still.”
“Anita, you–”
“Do it.”
“Wait, but–”
“Fera, I said to do it.” Anita said playfully. When Fera still opened her mouth to protest, Anita gave a light blow of air, though with her powers it was enough to mess up Fera’s hair.
“Anita, cut it out.” But Anita gave another, stronger blow that made Fera laugh as she waved away the wind. “Fine, fine.”
Both of them laughed as Fera turned her head away and held as still as possible. She felt a slight pressure as something filled the newfound hole in her left ear.
“Beautiful.” Anita sang.
“Really? It’s just a piercing.” Fera stated, raising a hand to touch her new accessory, but Anita swatted her hand away again.
“No touching, and I think you’ll like this, Fera. I mean, I did know exactly what would make you happy. I don’t mean to brag, but I am a pretty good gift-giver.” Fera grinned as she shook her head but when Anita rose to fetch a mirror, she snuck a touch as to what her friend had given her. The shape of it was familiar, and for a second, she was left breathless as an image of what it might be came to mind. “I told you no touching.” Anita complained, sitting back on the bed again. “Here, use this.”
Fera took the small hand mirror and stared at her reflection, fingering the small blue teardrop crystal that hung now from her left ear, with a short and thin silver chain connecting it to the ring that was pinned in the new hole.
“How?” Fera wondered aloud, almost choking on the word.
Anita gave a nervous giggle as she twiddled her fingers in her lap anxiously. “Well, Cross said it was found at the scene of your fight with Kiko. Most of the chain was destroyed and there was a crack in the crystal, but it was still mostly okay. He gave it to me since you were still asleep, and I knew Christmas was coming up so I thought I would get it fixed for you. I brought it to somebody after we got back and they fixed the crack so you can barely see it now. And I wanted to use the same chain as before, but there wasn’t enough left for another necklace, only that. It made me think of a piercing and I thought that with your new short hair, it would look good on you.” she explained, all the while Fera was playing with the small jewel using her thumb and index finger.
“I don’t know what to say.” Fera mumbled, eyeing the tiny cerulean gem. “I thought it was gone forever. Thank you.”
“Yeah, well…” started Anita, timidly poking softly at her own cheek. “You know, I… I know you really care about that thing so– Oh!” Anita gasped as Fera nearly tackled her off of the bed.
“Thank you.”
She felt Anita’s muscles relax and her breathing calm down as she put an arm around her. “Of course. So, ummm, I hate to do this to you, Fera, but now I have to ask you something.”
“Yeah?” said Fera, leaning away from Anita to give her some space again.
“Oh, it’s nothing serious or anything. Just, you know, since I got you a present, and I am your girlfriend… Well, don’t you have anything for me? Something really cool or really special or, I don’t know, something about as equally valuable as my gift?”
Fera lightly smacked Anita’s arm as she saw the little snicker that Anita failed to completely hide.
“What? I thought it was something couples did. So, Ferain Hirigaya, where is my present?”
“I don’t have it yet, but I’ll get you something if you want.” said Fera.
“Oh, really? You don’t have anything I could possibly want?”
Ferain looked around curiously and smiled. “N-no, not that I can think of.” Anita giggled before pushing Ferain down on the bed. She crawled over her and leaned down so their faces were about to touch, and their breaths could be felt on each other’s skin.
“Nothing?” Anita questioned wickedly.
“Nope, nothing. You’ll have to give me a few ideas, I think.” said Fera, raising her left hand to touch Anita’s flawlessly smooth right cheek.
Anita kissed her lightly on the lips and laughed. “Okay, how about this? Your gift can be a promise. I want you to… hmm… I want you to promise that you’ll marry me when we graduate from school. We’ll get married and we’ll leave our families behind and we’ll go running off to explore the world. How about that?”
“That sounds… excessive.” Fera jokingly replied.
“Okay, then maybe… Uhhh, let’s see… Hm…”
“Tougher than you thought?” asked Fera.
“I am trying to not be too ‘excessive’ with my next request.” Anita joked. “Seriously though, how about you promise me this. I want you to promise that we’ll always be friends, and that we’ll never abandon each other.”
Fera kissed her softly in return and fell back into the mattress beneath her head. “Sounds fair to me. It’s a promise.” After a second of thinking, Fera nodded her head. “I think I’ll still get you something tomorrow though. A promise is great and all but I think we’ve already sort of made that promise before. It doesn’t seem like an equal trade to me after all.”
Just as Anita leaned in for another kiss, there was a knock on her door that caused them both to start in surprise. “Ann, there’s a phone call for you from your mother. She said it’s important.” came a man’s voice from the other side. It was a relatively young one, with its owner still being in his late twenties, and it was one that was familiar to both girls.
Anita sighed and gave a light peck on Fera’s cheek. “Guess I have to take that. We’ll continue this later?”
“If you want.” answered Fera.
“If I want.” Anita scoffed. “You’re a cheeky one, Fera. Of course I want to. Happy now? Making me admit it out loud. Oh, the shame of it.”
“Get out of here.” Fera laughed, shoving her lightly aside. Anita fell off of the bed but a gust of air softened her landing.
“My word, Ferain. You could have killed me.”
“Go!” Fera said loudly, giving her a light nudge with her foot. “You shouldn’t keep her waiting.”
“You’re right, you’re right.” Anita groaned, floating to her feet thanks to her gifts and then walking towards the door.
Fera watched her wink over her shoulder before disappearing, toying with the small crystal from her ear all the while, and thinking of possible gifts that might only slightly repay the debt she now owed her partner.