Fera stood in front of her mirror, wearing a pair of black briefs and a pull-over bra that hugged her chest tightly, but comfortably. She had normal, girly underwear, but this was what she mostly preferred to wear. It felt more… natural for her. She held up a black shirt and a black skirt with white horizontal stripes in her hands while examining her reflection, seeing how they would look on her without going through the trouble of pulling them on.
“Why do I have so much black?” she groaned, throwing the clothes aside, revealing her lithe figure in the mirror, as well as the scars she despised so much.
She pressed a finger against the pale mark near her stomach. It really wasn’t that bad, just a small remnant of the worst night of her life, but physically speaking, it could have been much worse. It had actually healed quite well back when it happened, and now that she thought about it, it was probably due to the bizarre rate at which she healed. The one under her breast was slightly worse, because of how shallow it was before ricocheting out of her side. That one resembled a bit more of a graze, but that one was in a place she did not plan to show anybody anytime soon. The exit wound on her lower back was worse too, but since she could hardly ever see that one, it somehow bothered her less than the others.
“I still don’t want to show you off yet.” Fera said softly, poking the old scar. Her eyes shifted and she found the pile of clothes she had thrown onto the floor while trying to find a suitable outfit. “Back to it, I suppose.”
Fera knelt down and began shifting through the pile before finding something she thought was okay. It was a dark red tank top, and she then found a pair of denim shorts, ones that were a bit shorter than she normally felt comfortable with, but today, she was feeling a bit more daring. She did scavenge around for a pair of black tights though, still not feeling comfortable with showing all that skin. After getting dressed, she draped her crystal necklace over her chest and found a final piece to the outfit lying in a drawer that she hardly ever opened. From it, she produced a large, red flannel with black buttons up the middle. She shrugged it on and found that her arms were much too short for the sleeves, and the clothing practically drowned her small body, but that was to be expected. Her father was a large man, much bigger than she was now, in any case.
To solve the sleeve issue, she rolled them about halfway up her forearms, and gave a final check in the mirror. Her hair had gotten slightly longer, now reaching the center of her back, and if possible, it looked messier than it ever had. After a short shake of her head, she decided to leave it untied and instead tied the red ribbon around her right wrist.
“Fera, are you ready yet?” came Anita’s voice from the other side of her bedroom door. “You’ve been getting dressed for half an hour.” she added, before lightly banging the door. “Please, I’m dying here. Hurry up or I might just fade away.” Anita pleaded, way too overdramatically, even for her.
“Just about.” Fera called back, before smiling at her reflection.
She was not typically one for complimenting herself, but as the large flannel fell down off of one shoulder, and she saw the outfit that was so unlike her usual style of dressing, she genuinely thought she looked cute. With a nod and a bright smile, she spun and hurried towards the door. Opening it revealed Anita, who was leaning against the wall opposite of her door. She was wearing a bright blue dress with buttons from the bottom to the collar. The sleeves were baggy and sheer, and she had some white knee high socks to cover most of what was revealed of her legs. A black choker was around her throat, and she had a silver earring dangling in her left ear, one in the shape of a rose with blue etchings on it to give it some color.
“You look good.” Anita complimented, examining Fera from head to toe.
“T-thanks.” she said, trying to hide the blush that was creeping into her cheeks. “Y-you too.”
“Oh, stop it, you’ll make me blush.” Anita said, waving her hand and grinning playfully. Anita then quickly reached out and grabbed Fera’s hand, before pulling her closer to her body. They both fell against the wall, and Anita’s lips were just about to touch her own. “You really are beautiful, Ferain. I could just kiss you now.”
“K-k-kiss?” stammered Fera, as she felt her whole body heating up.
“Yeah, just like this.” Anita softly said, as she shifted to kiss Fera’s cheek. There was a small crack of electricity that caused Anita to jump and lightly shove Fera away. Her hand instantly went to her lips and there was something different about her face. Her left eye, while normally storm gray, was now amethyst, and then it changed to emerald green. “Damn it, what the hell was that?”
“Hell?” gasped Fera, finding it odd that Anita would curse so nonchalantly, seeing as she normally grew scarlet at the slightest hint of a dirty word.
“What are you doing in here?” came Anita’s voice, but the lips of the girl in front of her didn’t move at all.
Fera stared, feeling more confused than she could ever remember feeling before. “I’m not dreaming still, right?” she whispered.
“Afraid not.” Anita said, and this time, it came from the silver haired girl in the archway that led into the corridor Fera was standing in. “Cut it out, Lilipa. What did you do to her?”
“Lilipa?” uttered Fera, looking back at the girl who had once been Anita, but was now much smaller and had hair that reached her ankles. This hair was no longer silver, but was instead a dark shade of scarlet, and her eyes had balanced out and became dark purple.
“Sorry, Fera, it was just a bit of fun.” Lili said, her childish voice returning to normal.
“Get out of here.” Anita hissed, stepping aside so Lili could pass her by. “I swear, she’s such a child sometimes. She didn’t do anything stupid, did she?”
“Stupid?” murmured Fera. “N-no, not at all. Nothing. She did nothing.” Fera quickly spat out, before hurrying past Anita to get away from the confines of the hallway and into a more open space, where it was easier to breathe.
The real Anita was wearing the same clothes LIli had donned when she was pretending to be Fera’s partner, but at the moment, she couldn’t find the courage to compliment her again, or, she supposed, for the first time. She was much too stunned by the kiss, even if it had been Lilipa in disguise, it was still Anita’s voice, her face, her lips, that had been so close to her. Fake or not, that kiss made her feel weird things, things she never felt before, and she didn’t know if she liked them or hated them. It simply made her feel… funny, and confused as well.
Anita walked by her and smiled. “I’m starting breakfast, some eggs, I think. Do you want some?”
“Y-yeah, I do.” Fera said, before shaking away the nerves that had become unruly in her body. “I’ll help if you want.”
“You can cook?” asked Anita.
“I did live on my own for a long time. I can cook better than you, probably.”
“Fair enough.” Anita said.
“Hurry up, lovebirds, I’m starving!” Lilipa called out, while laying on the couch in their living room and watching the TV, which was turned to some morning anime.
Anita shook her head and raised a finger before twirling it. There was a small gust of wind and a loud thud from where Lilipa was resting, and it was soon followed up with a groan of pain and a quiet curse.
“Hmph.” Anita scoffed, turning and entering the kitchen.
Fera looked back and saw just Lilipa’s eyes as she stared over the back of the couch, appearing as if she was planning her revenge or something. The sight made Ferain laugh quietly as she moved to help Anita cook. As they all ate together, Fera saw that Lili was not currently wearing the same clothes that she had when she was acting as Anita, which she supposed was to be expected. Somehow, she failed to notice it before, but now, it was impossible to miss. She was now wearing a black t-shirt with a white cat sleeping on the front, a short ruffled skirt that was white with black stripes, and a pair of black and white thigh-high socks. She had a sleeveless hoodie on as well, one that was white with black splotches on it, almost like a cat’s pattern. Looking at her now, it was hard to imagine, as it was every time, that she was not a child.
She had a pleased look on her face as she stabbed her fork into a full egg and stuffed it into her mouth. When she opened her eyes, they were no longer purple, but a soft shade of gray now, and her hair was steadily changing to a darker brown with hints of red mixed in, starting at the roots and working its way down.
“These are pretty good, Sparky, I’ll give you that.”
“They’re just eggs, but thanks.” Fera replied, grinning at the compliment. She never had anybody praise her cooking before, seeing as she had never cooked for anybody in the past, and she rather enjoyed it.
“And I helped.” Anita stated, as if she had something to prove.
“Sure you did.” Lilipa stated, before stabbing the remaining egg and devouring it whole.
Anita growled quietly while giving Lilipa her deepest scowl yet. "You're such a twisted little brat, you know that?" She then looked at Fera. "Where's Mana? I'd rather deal with her weirdness than this thing."
Fera shook her head, frowning as she stabbed a fork into the soft exterior of an egg. "She's a no-show unfortunately. She sent me a message yesterday saying that she'd be busy."
"What could she possibly be doing?" asked Lilipa, waving her fork around.
"She's probably doing something with her dad." answered Ferain. "Anyway, whatever it is, it's her business. If she wanted me to know, she would've told me."
"A real shame." groaned Anita. "I was actually getting excited to spend some time with her. Well, there's always next weekend, or the weekend after that."
"Or never." Lili spat.
"Oh, you actually sound disappointed." Anita sang cheerfully. "Hmm, maybe her ditching us was worth it after all." she added, grinning at her partner.
When they had all finished, the three of them left and began making their way to District-C. It was now nearing the end of June, so the weather was bright and warm, as summer was finally upon them. Even their school uniforms had swapped out from the heavier winter coats to the lack thereof, since they were no longer necessary. All in all, it was the perfect time and temperature for a day out, though Fera knew they weren’t really having a day ‘out’, since they were going to spend the day in a mall. Still, the walk was enjoyable enough, and she took a simple pleasure in that. Lilipa was hopping from one section of sidewalk to the next, sometimes on one foot, other times on two, as if it was a game of hopscotch. She had a playful, entertained grin on her face, which proved to be contagious. Ferain found herself helpless in the fight against mimicking the expression and mood, though it wasn’t like she was putting up much of a fight to begin with.
It was a welcome change of pace, especially after the recent months of events having taken place. Between the murders, the rumors, and the bullying, she hadn’t had the chance to fully enjoy a day like a normal student would. This was finally her opportunity to do just that, even if Anita’s precaution of not informing her of the day’s goal caused a small hint of worry to appear.
“Feels nice to finally be away from all of that dreaded cold.” said Anita, stretching her arms into the air and allowing the warmth of the sun to soak into her. “I wonder if bears feel this good when they wake up from hibernation?”
“I prefer the cold, personally.” said Fera. “But I guess a little sunlight isn’t all that bad from time to time.” she quickly added, and it was the truth. Today felt great, despite the heat and the penetrating rays of the sun that would undoubtedly leave her with either sunburn, or a darker, tanned complexion.
“I’m just happy to get away from the boys for a bit.” Lilipa interjected. “They never want to do things with me, especially shopping. Yarin in particular is a pain in that regard.” she muttered.
“Really? You two seem so close.” Fera said curiously.
“Well, we’ve known each other since we were kids, so it’s only natural. But, there’s just some things guys don’t want to do with girls, especially when the girl in question has to buy underwear in the children aisles at stores. Probably makes him uncomfortable.”
“I’ve been meaning to ask about that,” said Anita. “Why buy clothes if you can just change them with your powers? I mean, you changed into my outfit when you copied me this morning.”
“It takes too much energy, just like changing my body. I can only keep it up for so long before I’m spent.” Lili answered, and while Anita seemed satisfied, Fera wasn’t. She was still curious about Lili’s and Yarin’s past.
“How did you two meet?” Fera inquired shyly, not wanting to sound as if she was prying too deep, or to come off as being nosy.
“Yarin and me?” Lili asked. “Hmm, I was about five or so, I think, I can't really remember exactly. Anyway, his family moved in next door one summer and we kind of hit it off. We’ve been glued together ever since.” she explained, while she continued hopping ahead of them, swapping between feet.
“It’s things like this that make people call you a child.” Anita pointed out.
Lili stuck out her tongue before taking another jump over a split in the sidewalk. Fera wanted to know even more, for some reason. These two, Lilipa in particular, really intrigued her. Yarin was pretty distant during their training sessions, and they didn’t normally hang out with one another outside of those. Lili was around occasionally, like today, but she was always too busy arguing with Anita to get anything out of her, and Fera really did hate to pry unnecessarily. Still, like with Anita, she felt a sort of kinship with Lili, a similarity between them that she was curious about.
“I guess that explains why you two seem so much like siblings.” Fera said, with a bright smile, but these words appeared to be the wrong thing to say.
Lilipa stopped jumping at once and Fera heard a deep hatred in her next words. “Siblings, huh? That’s all he will probably ever see me as, a little sister.” she hissed.
“You aren’t satisfied with that?” asked Anita.
“Satisfied?” repeated Lili, looking over her shoulder to glare menacingly at the pair of them. The look quickly changed to one of total defeat and acceptance before shifting forward, and out of Fera’s sight. “I love him. How could I ever be satisfied with less?” she asked, before pausing for a second. “I’m content, and I’ve learned to live with it, but he’ll never love me the same way I love him. How could he?”
“I mean, besides your winning personality, you have a lot of positives to like.” joked Anita, trying to lift the mood again, though Ferain would not have taken that approach herself.
“I’m sure he does love you.” Fera said, lightly nudging Anita in the side with an elbow.
“But not in that way.” Lili repeated, sounding annoyed at Fera’s ignorance and inability to understand. “I want to… I dreamed about marrying him someday, making him mine forever. But how could you love a person with a body like mine and not be creeped out by it? You can’t love a person that looks like a ten year old and be okay with it.”
Lilipa took a deep breath, jumped over one more crack, and then spun on her heels to look at the girls. She had a wide smile on her face now, and while it appeared to be slightly forced, Fera was okay with letting the subject go. It was not her intention to open old wounds or to dig too deep in places she wasn’t wanted. If Lilipa wanted to say more, she would, given her own time, which Ferain was more than willing to give her.
“Well, enough of the sappiness, right? Anita, how close are we to this store of yours?” she asked.
“It’s right around the corner, it won’t be too much longer.”
“Will you finally tell me what we’re shopping for?” asked Ferain, glaring at her partner.
“Nope, it’s a surprise, like I told you repeatedly. You’ll find out when we get there, and not a moment sooner. Come on, just a bit further.” Anita said, taking the lead now.
All around them were towering structures that were without a doubt large department stores or massive apartments for both the students and residents here in the city. In Ferain’s opinion, there was probably more space than what was necessary, but she supposed it didn’t really matter. Just like she had done when coming here on her first day, she felt comforted by how much it looked like the city she had lived her whole life in. It was busy with people and businesses, and all around them were signs and advertisements. The place that Anita seemed to have in mind was a shopping mall, one that was located on the far end of a marble courtyard that had several other shops within the plaza, and several fountains that were all shaped like phoenixes, matching the school crest.
Water dripped down from their solid, gold-colored plumage to resemble the cascading ashes that would lead to their rebirth, and from their open beaks came a stream of crystal clear liquid to fill the basin beneath them. What appeared to be hundreds of people were walking through the plaza at any given moment, and all of them made Fera feel instantly queasy. She always had a hard time around crowds, and the more members within it, the more sick she got. It had gotten better since coming here and working on all of the things she wanted to change about herself, but this number was like going straight from two feet of water into twenty feet, or like walking away from flat land to fall right off a cliff without any given warning. As she felt her body shivering and her mind was trying to warn her against going any closer, she experienced a warm sensation against her right hand. The pressure was soft, but firm enough that it comforted Ferain in a way that she had never felt before now.
“You okay?” asked Anita, appearing concerned as they locked eyes with one another.
“F-fine, thanks.” Fera replied, nervously, before glancing down at their connecting hands.
“Is it helping at all?” Anita questioned.
“Y-yeah… a bit.” she admitted, sheepishly.
“Enough of the flirting already. Come on, hurry up.” said Lili, shoving past them and walking towards the ten or so story mall in the distance.
Both Ferain and Anita gave an amused look at one another before following their tiny, energetic companion to, and inside, the massive building. Instantly, the AC was a blessing. Ferain nearly let out a moan of satisfaction as it hit her face and cooled her body. It truly was a delight to have such a thing around during her time. She didn’t even want to imagine what life would be like without it.
“Unlivable, most likely.” she thought silently to herself, while looking around for Lilipa, who ran ahead of them.
Lili was rushing up towards some racks of clothes that had been put out by one of the shops on the first level. She ran her hand along the hanging items and then skipped further on ahead.
“She’s such a kid.” Ferain muttered, almost seeming unwillingly, as if she didn’t mean to speak it aloud.
“And you aren’t?” asked Anita, grinning at her, and Fera remembered that they were still holding hands, and for what reason they had done it in the first place. “You said it out loud.” Anita stated amusedly, after noticing Fera’s confused glance.
“Oh, sorry about that.”
Anita shook her head as she linked an arm with Fera and pulled her close. She then rested her head on Fera’s shoulder, almost like how a cuddling couple would as they walked around. “You know, she has close enough hair to you, and she has my eyes at the moment.” Anita pointed out playfully. “Maybe she could be ours.”
“O-o-ours?” gasped Fera. “T-that’s impossible. I mean, we’re both girls, and we’re not really to–”
“I’m joking, Ferain.” Anita interrupted, cutting her off before her nervous ramblings got too far out of control. “You’re really tense. Are you sure you’re okay? Does this place get to you that badly?”
“I was secluded for most of my life, Anita, I feel like it’s to be expected.”
“Some people would jump at the opportunity to finally be able to be around others, I think.” Anita stated.
“Most people can’t kill others by an accidental touch.” Ferain pointed out grimly. “But, besides just that, I’m still getting used to this. Being around people without being afraid of it… it’s hard. Ten years I spent staying as far away from everyone as possible. I was always told that I was a danger, and everyone knowing I was some sort of wild, accidental murderer didn’t help either. People were just as much afraid of me as I was of them. This place, in such a short time frame, has changed me and helped me in many ways, but it’s all happening pretty fast. It’ll take a bit of time before I’m really used to all of this, I believe.”
This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.
“Well, no rush.” Anita said, with a loving show of affection in her eyes. “We’ll take things one step at a time, and we’ll take as many breaks as you need. I’m in no hurry today, and I want you to have as much fun as possible. That was the whole point of today anyway, to let you have some fun… to let all of us have some fun.” Anita said. “Just let me know if you get too overwhelmed and we’ll find somewhere quieter to relax until you calm down enough, okay?”
“Yeah, that’s fine with me.” Fera answered.
“For the love of God, hurry up!” Lilipa shouted, now standing at the bottom of some escalators on the other side of the room.
Her yelling and aggressive waving caught the attention of too many people for Fera’s liking, but Anita, who was still holding her hand, gave her a light tug and an encouraging look. They both followed Lili up the slowly ascending steps to the second floor, which soon revealed to Ferain what it was they had come here for. Anita quickly guided her to a shop whose sole purpose appeared to be swimsuits, and anything else revolving around water related activities. Instantly, Ferain felt nauseous again, or perhaps it was anxiousness, it could have even been a mix of the two, she didn’t know exactly. What she did know was that it was welling up inside of her, and her face was already turning bright red from the mental image of her wearing some revealing bikini. Fera, as Anita well knew, did not like showing a lot of skin, or her figure for that matter. This was why she wore baggy clothing, dark tights, and pants whenever the weather called for it. She hated putting her body on display, whether she had the scars or not.
The idea of walking around in a swimsuit for any duration of time made her feel anxious, and to her surprise, a little excited. She couldn’t say why, but something about it enticed her for some reason.
“Surprise.” said Anita, holding out her hands as if she had presented Fera the greatest treat of a lifetime.
“It’s not a gift.” Lilipa said, walking past Anita and into the store.
“Buzzkill.” Anita snapped, before looking to Fera for a reaction of some kind, to see how she was taking it. Ferain could see the worry in her partner’s eyes, wondering if she messed up by doing this, or if it would make her angry in any way. After a moment of silence, Anita seemed to come to a conclusion about how Fera felt, and she looked apologetic. “You don’t like it.” Anita said, softly.
“I don’t mind it.” Fera said, shyly.
“Really?” asked Anita. “Excellent. Come on, I want to try a bunch of swimsuits on, and you need to also.” she added, grabbing Fera’s wrist before pulling her past the glass storefront. “I had a bunch of ideas for you. I had a dream one night where we went to the beach and you were just the cutest thing around. I had to make it a reality, and that was when I found this place. After that, I planned a whole day out, but the first step was the swimsuits, obviously. In my dream, you were wearing a frilly blue bikini, but I know that you don’t want to show your scars, so I was thinking of a one… What are you grinning about?” asked Anita, ceasing her constant, excited ramblings.
Fera shook her head but she couldn't chase away the laughter and amusement that was bubbling up. “Nothing.” she said, laughing quietly. “I don’t really want to show my scars, true enough, but… Who knows? We’ll see what we find. Maybe… Maybe if you think it’s cute enough… maybe then…”
Anita’s face brightened at once, as Ferain’s grew a dark shade of blushing scarlet. “We’ll find something for sure.” Anita promised, turning to face the store that was full of beach-related wares.
There were dozens of racks on the tiled showroom floor that were all for swimsuits, which were all separated by male and female options. It seemed like the front-right side was for men, while the left side was for women. In the middle of the shop, about dead-center, was a desk and register with a teenage girl behind it, one that was probably a student from the school that was working part-time for some extra money. Beyond that were more areas full of different goods, such as things for beach sports like volleyball and wakeboarding, and even some supplies for building sand castles. There were even surfboards hanging up along the far back wall, taking up most of the available space on it. Some modern, poppy music was playing through some speakers in the ceiling, but Fera didn’t pay it too much mind. She didn’t lie to Anita before when saying that music wasn’t really her thing. It was okay, but never something she usually sought out.
As the pair of them walked further into the store, finally reaching some of the female racks, Lilipa came out of nowhere holding two different suits in her hands. She had an excited gleam in her gray eyes as she sought out some sort of opinion or compliment from the two other girls.
“Aww, look at you, sweetie.” said Anita, bending over and putting her hands on her knees. “Look, honey, our little girl picked something out for herself.” Anita added, looking over her shoulder at Ferain, who feigned an amused grin, since the look on Lili’s face was enough to send a shiver up her spine.
Lili’s options were a pink two-piece with white polka-dots, and a one-piece that looked like a school swimsuit with a bubble pattern. “Bite me.” Lilipa snarled, flashing an aggravated leer and turning around to find something else. “Keep talking to me like that and you'll find out how sweet I can be.” Fera heard Lili mutter as she vanished around a rack that was taller than herself.
“Take it easy on her.” Fera said softly.
“Oh, she’ll be fine.” Anita said, giving a dismissive wave of her hand. “She enjoys it… I think, anyway.”
“I doubt it, but I guess arguing won’t do any good.” said Fera, putting a hand on her hip.
“Best to keep to that. Silence is golden, as they say. Now, we need to find you something to wear.”
“What about you?” asked Ferain.
“I’ll be easy, but you I see being a challenge. I’ll grab one after we have you sorted out, ‘kay?”
“I suppose so.”
“Great. Now, you did say that you are okay with bikinis, right? We’ll grab a couple of those and we’ll find a few one-piece ones for you to try on also. Best to have some options when dealing with picky people.”
“I’m not picky.” Fera protested. “I’m just… reserved.” she said, thinking of the word on the spot.
“Reserved? Prudish, more like.”
“Hey, I’m not the only one hiding stuff.” Fera stated, but she said it lightheartedly to reduce the chance of Anita taking it as a dig or an insult.
“Fair enough.” Anita said, subconsciously placing a hand over the scars on her left forearm, which were currently hidden behind some sort of makeup that matched her skin tone. Apparently, it needed a special chemical to rub off, as it was made to hide scars and unwanted blemishes. “Well, I guess I can’t really argue, then, can I? I’ll take a step back, let you have the final decision. I got a bit overzealous, I’ll admit.”
Fera gave an approving nod before walking around to find something that would suit her. Truth was, despite her scars, she did find a couple of two-piece suits she found quite attractive, and even one or two single-piece ones. As she was walking towards the changing room, Anita on her heels, Lilipa stepped out from one of the stalls wearing something she had not shown before. It was a sort of one-piece, having a bottom and top that were only attached by two crossing bands over the stomach. The whole thing was dark blue, except for the bands, which were a shade of white with blue paw prints patterned on them. Fera had never seen her wearing something so revealing, so it took her by surprise to see just how small she was. She really did look like a young boy that was currently wearing a girl’s article of clothing. The only things that really gave away her gender were her feminine face, her long eyelashes, and the very faint curves of what little figure she had. Her long hair helped too, of course, but anybody could have that long of hair.
“I guess a boy can look pretty feminine too.” Fera thought, eyeing Lilipa from head to toe, and blushing slightly from all of the girl’s skin that was on display for anybody in the store to see.
“Well, what do you think?” asked Lilipa, turning slightly as she examined her own body.
“Cute.” Fera muttered, before she even had the chance to decide against speaking it aloud.
“I guess it is.” Anita said reluctantly, appearing pained by the mere idea of complimenting Lilipa.
Lili’s eyes widened and seemed to glisten as she rose to the tips of her toes excitedly. “Really? You think?” she asked, unable to contain herself. “I wonder if Yarin will like it too.” she said happily.
“I’m gonna get changed.” Fera said, as she walked past Anita and Lilipa.
“I’ll come with.” Anita swiftly offered, lightly shoving past Lilipa.
“I’ll be fine on my own. I can handle it.”
“B-but, I wanted to see.”
“I… I can still show you.” Fera replied, looking down and tapping her fingers together timidly. “J-just give me a minute, o-okay?”
Anita gave a brief nod and let Fera go on her own to the changing room. When she closed the stall door and locked it, she heard the one next to her do the same, meaning Lilipa had returned to her own room to change back. The first one Fera tried on was a purple two-piece with a yellow lightning bolt on the left breast and on the waistline just above her right thigh. She didn’t have much of a figure, but she did grow a bit thicker since coming to the school. Her thighs were slightly larger, as was her hips, and her waist seemed to have grown slightly as well. Really, the only thing unaffected by her growth was her height, seeing as even her chest had grown just a bit over the last several months, though they still weren't all that noticeable in most clothing.
Even in the swimsuit, her chest didn’t look like much, but it still sent a heat through her body from the slightest image of her wearing this in public. Plus, if she picked this one, her scars would be seen by everyone around, they would be impossible to keep a secret. She wasn’t sure if she was ready for that just yet, despite what she said earlier, and decided against this particular suit. She walked out and showed Anita real fast, after making sure Lilipa was nowhere to be seen, and returned to change into the next one. After several more choices, she found herself standing in front of the large vertical mirror, eyeing herself up and down. She had on a black one-piece swimsuit that had a bumpy, hexagonal texture on the exterior. There was a gold zipper up the center, starting at the waistline, and it had short sleeves as well. All of her legs would be visible, but her body was completely hidden, and even some of her arms were too. It had a pattern that resembled the stripes of a tiger, though these ones were crimson in place of black, given the base color of the suit.
Fera found herself enjoying the way this one felt and looked, and after showing it to Anita, who gave it a thumbs up, and Lilipa, who gave an approving nod, she decided to go with it. Her partner even offered to pay for it, and when Fera protested against it, she put her foot down and said ‘I’m doing it and that’s that, so shut it’, to which Fera couldn't argue against. Once Anita made up her mind, it was difficult to change it again. Next, they were onto the task of finding something for Anita to wear to whatever place she had in mind when it came time to use them. Anita, who had a much more filled out body, and a lot more confidence in herself, was determined to find a much more suitable, and as she put it, ‘sexier’ swimsuit. Ferain didn’t think ‘sexy’ was a thing they should be too concerned with as early highschool students, but again, arguing would have been pointless.
“So, what do you think?” asked Anita, holding up two options for Fera to choose from.
One was a green top and bottom with a blue offset stripe on each one. The other choice had a white top with red bottoms, and a separate frilly strap or band that apparently went around a thigh of her choosing. Ferain felt herself growing hot again, imagining her partner in either one of them, which caused her to temporarily become speechless. Luckily for her, it was Lilipa who answered in her place, though afterwards, Fera did not know if this was a blessing or a curse in response to her prolonged silence.
“Why don’t you try on both of them?” suggested Lili. “It would be easier to tell after seeing you in them.”
“Good point.” Anita agreed, as she gave a dramatic curtsy and spun to make for a changing room.
After Anita left, she saw Lilipa fold her arms over her chest and sigh. “Don’t say I never did anything for you.”
“W-what do you mean?” stammered Ferain.
“Don’t give me that clueless act. You two might not be together but I see the way you stare at her. Enjoy the sight while you have it, because unless you actually start dating, you won’t get this chance that often.” Lilipa stated.
After a couple of minutes, the stall opened and Anita walked out in the blue and green option, strutting around like a model and striking a sort of pose after coming to a stop. Fera’s eyes, however, were glued to her partner’s chest, as much as she was ashamed to admit it. She didn’t find herself staring often, but it seemed in the last few months, it wasn’t just Ferain that had grown. Anita’s breasts seemed to have gotten larger as well, and they bounced slightly as she walked. Fera gulped and looked away shyly, hoping her friend didn’t notice.
“So, your thoughts?” Anita questioned, looking mostly to Fera for an answer.
“I-i-it looks, ummm… g-good. It looks really good.” Fera said, still unable to meet her stormy eyes.
“It looks okay, but the other one might be better.” Lilipa said, her lips creased in a wicked looking grin, and Fera knew she was enjoying this a bit too much.
“It might.” Anita said, while giving a quick nod of agreement. She winked at the two girls before strutting back towards the stall, where the door closed and locked behind her.
“I thought you would be enjoying this more,” said Lilipa.
“Isn’t it weird though?” asked Fera. “I mean, we’re best friends, almost sisters.”
“Maybe so, but you like her, and I know she likes you. I don’t see a problem with a little staring and flirting. Hell, you might as well go for it if you have the chance. It’s not something everybody can do, after all.”
“You mean yourself?” asked Fera, perhaps sounding more insensitive than she originally intended.
“Yeah, I suppose I do.” Lili affirmed, sounding grim. “I guess at first glance, this doesn’t seem like a terrible thing, right? I mean, compared to you, who would guess the problems that my powers have caused me? What’s a little bit of stunted growth when compared to killing your family by accident? That would make any problem seem lesser, but it doesn’t mean they don’t exist.”
“If I ever gave you the impression that I think like that, I’m sorry,” said Fera.
Lili sighed. “You never did, so don’t apologize. It’s not you I’m talking about, it’s more like… the world as a whole, I guess. You know, when I first got my powers, I had a sort of identity crisis for a bit.”
“How so?” asked Fera.
“I woke up and I wasn’t exactly a girl anymore. The parts I had before falling asleep, well, let’s just say they were swapped out with other things. Even my hair and eyes changed. My mom came in to wake me up for school and she didn’t even recognize me. As you know, most people get their powers at five or six, but mine didn’t come in until I was nine, which is when I looked more or less like I do now. I don’t really remember my natural hair or eye color, but the rest is the same, I think. The height, weight, face, everything. I haven’t changed a bit since that morning, unless I wanted to, but like I said, that only lasts as long as I have energy to keep it up. That’s not the only time it’s happened either. It used to happen a lot a few years ago, before I fully figured out my powers. I would just wake up and be an entirely different person with a completely different voice. I just changed whenever, without any control over it. After a while, I forgot everything that really made me who I was. If not for Yarin, I think I would have gone insane.”
Fera was surprised. She never put down other peoples’ problems, but she also had to admit that she didn’t really think about other people having problems. If not for Anita openly telling her about her family, Fera would have just gone on assuming her life was perfect in every way. The same could be said about Lilipa, who was a bit foul-mouthed and bad-tempered, but otherwise seemed cheerful in a lot of ways. If there ever were problems under the surface, Ferain never would have known about them. This, in her opinion, was extremely selfish of her. It showed how much growing she still had to do, and how terrible a person her life had caused her to become.
“I’m sorry, I never thought that your powers caused you that many issues, not ones like that anyway.”
“And why would you? As I said, my problems are small fry when compared to yours. To you, what your powers did was the worst possible outcome of any situation, and the way you were brought up didn’t help that in any way. You were neglected, branded a murderer, and forced to be an outcast for something you had no control over. Compared to being stuck in a child’s body for the rest of your life, your situation sounds a thousand times worse.” Lili stated.
There was no contempt or hatred in her tone, but Ferain almost wished there was. She was right, after all, about every bit of it. Despite Lilipa sounding nonchalant and accepting of it, Fera couldn’t forgive herself for how she neglected to really think about other people and the things they had gone through. In her opinion, now that she thought about it properly, Lilipa’s situation sounded just as terrible, just in a different sort of way. Fera, while suffering through all of the things Lili listed, could still live her life how she wanted it. If she wanted a relationship, she could technically have one, especially now, after all of her training. Even the basic privilege of driving a car unassisted was an option of hers that Lilipa would never be able to do, and she had no say in the matter. Her powers had robbed her of it. Thinking about it this way, she realized that Lilipa couldn't be the only one with these sorts of issues either. There were likely thousands of others, some of which could even be at this school presently, with similar predicaments and histories.
“I’m sorry.” Fera apologized again.
“I told you, there’s nothing to apologize for.”
“There is though.” Fera replied. “I’ve been stupid and ignorant. I told Anita that anybody’s problem, no matter how small or big, mattered, but I never really thought about other people even having problems. I just thought about myself, unless another person openly told me. Like your situation, I never would have guessed, and maybe, I might have never bothered to ask. What happened to you, it isn’t right. It isn’t fair.”
There was a silence for a few moments, as Fera waited for Lili to say something, or to really do anything in response to what she had said. Instead, and to her surprise, Lilipa did not say a word at first. She simply laughed, and did so heartily.
“Do you know how many nights I’ve told myself that? What good does that do me? I’m still the same, and I will be tomorrow, and I still will be the day after that one. Life isn’t fair, it never has been, and it never will be. I’ve learned to get over things being unfair. I won’t have a nice body, an adult voice, or a lover who will treat me as such, but I still have life, and I have Yarin. Even if he never sees me as anything other than a child, I can still love him, and have fun with him. Who needs children, or marriage, or a family, when you can be happy with less. I don’t need to be greedy. I can leave some of that for people like you, people who have a chance at what they want in life. I’ll just settle for what I have, and that’s just enough to get by.” Lili’s girlish voice didn’t match the maturity in what she had said, so much so that it briefly astonished Fera. She was left speechless, and teething with a fury she had not known before. It wasn’t at Lili, it was at herself, and at the world they had been born into. “Man, she’s taking a while. Anita, are you okay?” Lili called out.
The door opened and Anita was in her dress again. She flashed a smile, but Fera saw how insincere it was. She had seen too many of Anita’s genuine smiles to be fooled by this poor excuse of one. “I’m just gonna get them both, there’s no need to try any more on. Come on, let’s get checked out and we can go have lunch or something.” Anita said, before quickly walking past the two girls.
“Hmm, oh well.” said Lilipa. “Too bad, Sparky, no more shows for you.” she added, putting her hands behind her head and walking after Anita.
All the while, Ferain silently watched both of them, observed how they acted and took notice of how they seemed to be feeling. Anita was obviously angry, meaning she heard everything she and Lilipa discussed, but she couldn’t tell who or what Anita was angry with. Perhaps it was like Fera, and she was mad at the world in general, upset that such a decision, one that they had no say in making, could change their lives in such a way. It was unfair, but Lilipa was correct in saying there was no changing that. Life was always going to be whatever it was meant to be, that’s just the truth of it. It was the same with Ferain’s own life, as it was set on a course of loneliness and frustration by a decision she too could not make. The choice was made for her, just like the coin toss that decided whether you would be a wielder or a human, and the random pull of what your gifts would be.
As for Lilipa, she didn’t appear to be angry at all. It was as she said, she was content, and had learned to deal with life’s lack of fairness. This brought up multiple questions for Ferain, questions that she kept to herself, and for the majority of the walk back to District-B, could not find the answers to.
“What right do we have to be mad when she seems fine with it? Or, could she be faking it to hide how she really feels? Is she hateful, and if she is full of hate, who or what is it directed at?”
No matter how hard she tried, no answers came, and before she knew it, she was pulled from her contemplations when they came to a stop outside of District-B’s checkpoint, and she heard Lili’s girlish voice speak again.
“This is where we part for now.” said Lilipa.
“Here?” asked Anita, giving a curious tilt of her head. “Not coming back with us?”
“Nope, I… I have something to do for Yarin today. I just remembered about it. “In fact, I’m already late, so… yeah, I’m going to be heading off.”
“If you say so,” said Anita. “Be safe, and try not to stay out too late, it’s dangerous at the moment.”
“Please, that killer doesn't frighten me.” snorted Lili, giving a confident pump of her fist. “I’ll kick their ass over the side of the island if that’s what it takes, but they won’t get a scratch on my head.”
“I’ll take your word for it.” Anita said, before giving a wave of farewell.
Fera stepped forth, tapping her fingers together timidly, not fully knowing what she wanted to say, but she was certain there were words that needed to be shared. After a second of finding her courage, she looked up with a burning fire in her golden eyes, one of determination and a seriousness that was not characteristically hers.
“I want to change, and I want to get better.” she started. “Today, you’ve shown me how much work I still need to put in. I’ve been studying to be a better fighter, to be a better wielder, but I haven’t been trying to become a better person. I forgot that it is something that needs developing just as much as an ability or a skill. And I think, just a little bit, I now understand the reason for my nickname, and why everyone hates me so much.” Fera said, now looking towards the ground with a sorrowful expression. “I have a lot of potential, and I was given an opportunity that most would kill for, yet I appear as if I’m squandering it. They try hard everyday to get where they are and stay there, and I, on my pedestal, appear to be sitting back and not putting in any effort at all. In a way, I think they're all right. I’ve been hiding behind fear and playing the victim, and while not entirely intentional, subconsciously, a lot of it might have been. It’s an insult to not put in my maximum effort when that is all everybody else is giving.”
Fera took a deep breath and looked up at Lilipa, dead in the eyes, and had a look of a different person entirely, like during her fights with Copper and Yarin.
“I don’t know if it makes sense, and I don’t know if it’s insensitive of me to admit that I have been hiding what I can really do, to some extent anyway. What I do know is this, I want to flip this around, for the people that can’t, and for the people that do put in all of their strength to what they are determined to accomplish. And for you, who can’t have what they want most, and who has to settle with less, I feel like shying away from what I want, even though I have the privilege to actually have it, would be an insult. I hope that comes across in the way I mean it. I’m not the best with words, or with people, but I’m trying, and I want you to know how much you’ve inspired me.”
Lilipa stared blankly for several long seconds, her face turning a soft shade of red and her eyes shifting to pink and then red and then yellow, all while they glistened beautifully in the evening light. After the silent wait, she held her hand up to her mouth and laughed. It was sharp and sounded more genuine than any laugh Fera had ever heard from her. To some extent, it embarrassed Ferain, and somewhat even hurt her feelings. She built up her courage and poured out her heart, and Lili was laughing at it? In a way, she thought that she should have expected it, but that didn’t ease the sting in her chest.
“Sorry.” Lili said, wiping her eyes and trying to catch her breath. “Sorry, it wasn’t funny, I just… You took me by surprise, that's all, and I just felt like laughing. Me, inspiring somebody? Ridiculous.” After another short snort of laughter, she collected herself and stood up straighter, meeting Fera’s gaze with a much more gleeful expression. “I’m happy.” Lili told her. “In a way, I get what you were saying. I’m jealous of you, Ferain Hirigaya. I’m jealous of a lot of people for the things that come so easily to them, and come so impossibly to me. But, that jealousy would, and has, turned to anger because of somebody wasting what I so desired to have in my hands. I want love, that’s all I ever wanted, so when I see somebody throw it aside so easily, it pisses me off beyond belief. I think a lot of people see you in the same way, Copper included. You have power, and they all wanted it, but to them, they saw you doing nothing with it. Ferain, for all of the people like me, find what you want and take it. It might make me a bit more envious, that’s true enough, but in a way, it’s also like living through you.”
Lilipa smiled widely and held out her tiny hand for Fera to shake. When Fera accepted it, Lili laughed again.
“I’ll be watching you, Ferain, remember that. Yarin will be too, and so will everybody in the school when it comes time for your test. Show them what you can do, and show them this side of you, the side that’s hungry and determined. Well, bye-bye now. I really do have to get going.”
“Lilipa?” Fera called out, as her tiny companion started skipping away from them. “Can we go shopping again soon?”
“Of course. Anytime you want, Sparky.” she replied, before giving a two-fingered salute, and vanishing around a corner up ahead.
Later that night, after returning home with Anita and eating dinner, the pair of them sat on the sofa in the living area, both in their sleepwear. Fera was wearing a pair of black cotton pants and a red tank top, while Anita wore a pair of shorts and a long sleeved shirt that was almost as silver as her hair.
“That was quite the speech today.” Anita stated softly.
“I know.” said a blushing Ferain, as she buried her face into her hands. “What was I thinking?”
“You said what you were thinking, and I think it was pretty clear. As your mentor, and as your friend, I’m proud of you. You’ve come a long way since school started, and I’m excited to see how much further you can go. What’s more, I believed every word you said. ‘For the people that can’t’, hmm?” said Anita, looking wistfully out the large window of their living area. “You know, I liked your little speech. I think I’ll be a part of it too. For the people that can’t, let’s show the entire world what we’re made of, yeah?” said Anita, grinning, and tilting her head so that some of her glistening hair fell across her face.
“Let’s.” said Fera, with a brief nod of her head.