"Uh boss, ya sure we need an accountant to defeat the Dark Lord?" Questioned Geoffrey the bard as he stared boredly into his ale mug. A raging alcoholic, he had been cursed with being nigh invulnerable to alcohol, and often abused his power to win drinking contests. He still fondly remembers the one time he challenged an entire bar, and won. Now he gets free drinks and celebrity treatment whenever he arrives.
"I'm also unsure of this strategy. Also... what is an accountant?" asked Mytra, a mage with graying hair in her sixties. She had reluctantly joined the party and had now taken on the role of a reluctant mother to several very odd children as the Hero's second in command.
The rogue said nothing, instead drinking his ale menacingly. No, he wasn't an edgy asshole, he just had crippling social anxiety and tended to look intimidating when he was avoiding eye contact. Charlie is a great guy, I swear.
"UUUUUUUUUU?" droned the female fighter, Moyai, her face unmoving. Nobody knew who/what she was or where she came from, but she was the definition of an abomination. A stone cold face greeted Barry's eyes, and his nightmares for the foreseeable future.
"Don't worry guys, I know what I'm doing. I'm the hero, remember?" Said Hiro the Hero. Yes this was his name. No, he did not know he would be a hero, and yes, he absolutely hates the nickname.
A moment of deliberation, and the party reluctantly introduce themselves to Barry.
"Sup," Geoffrey the bard replies.
"Greetings," The rogue states.
"UUUUUU! DUDUDUDUDU, DODO!" Moyai drones, literally causing a vibration measurable on the Richter scale.
"Don't mind them, we'll make sure you feel right at home." Mytra says, attempting to make up for her party members... specialness.
After getting chased out of the bar because of Moyai's ungodly existence, the Hero and his party start the long and arduous journey to the Dark Lord's Tower. Throughout the journey, Hiro the Hero would command the party members in combat, the party would do battle, and Barry would sit on the side lines twiddling his thumbs. Nobody really befriended Barry, and this occurred for several reasons.
Geoffrey Chad the Bard (That was his birth name) refuses to interact with Barry in any meaningful way. When Barry asked why, he simply tipped his fedora and said; "Barry, your a beta male." leaving Barry confused and annoyed.
A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.
Charlie the Rogue simply intimidated Barry so much that Barry thought Charlie wanted to kill him. Whenever Charlie saw Barry avoid him, he thought Barry didn't wanna talk, so he tried to not bother Barry, only to intimidate him more. Oh Charlie, you incredibly introverted imbecile.
Mytra the Mage attempted to make Barry feel at home, but had been with her party for nearly a year and had basically forgotten how to interact with any human being with any form of intelligence. Barry was actually the one who avoided her.
Moyai... well. Moyai was Moyai. Nobody could really tell what that girl was thinking behind her dead, soulless face. Somehow, in a turn of events nobody witnessed, Barry started calling Moyai Moyai-Chan. It was slightly disconcerting actually, hearing such an innocent name attached to a massive fucking stone head.
As they arrive at the tower, the party stops and stares in awe at the 100 floors of the Demon Lords Spire. After a moment, a dark and horrifying aura bursts forth from the tower, bringing all of the party to their knees, except for Hiro, because he was a hero, Barry, because he worked at HR once, and Moyai-Chan because... well nothing could affect that dead, soulless visage. Charlie also wasn't really affected, but doubled over with Mytra and Geoffrey for moral support.
"I don't think I can assert dominance against the tower guys," Said Geoffrey the Bard.
Charlie said nothing.
"DU! DUDUDU DUDU DU! DUDUDU DUDU DU!-" Moyai-Chan started droning a battle cry of sorts, which for some reason made one think of fishes wielding spears.
Mytra straight up fainted. And the entire party just sort of left her there.
Barry walks up to the door, and calmly knocks twice. A small emanates from inside.
"Password?" Barry sighs, and answers.
"UwU OwO, the Dark Lord is a degenerate."
"Great!"
The door swings open, and the party files inside the Tower, with one less member.
Instead of fighting there way up the 100 floors, they were simply escorted up through the elevator. Minutes later they were at the top of the tower.
The elevator opens up to a dark hallway with a single door at the end of it. The party marches in, ready to face the Demon Lord, only to find...
That the Demon Lord is an absolute degenerate/man of culture. Surrounded by body pillows, he sits cross-legged, reading manga. It takes him a moment to notice the party. When he does, he drops his manga and shrieks in surprise.
"No... If your here that means..." The Demon Lord whispers, clearly afraid of Barry in his casual accountant attire, and Hiro in his business suit.
"Yes. I am the accountant. We're here to do you taxes." Barry explains.
"No.. please, I just- I wanted to buy just one more figurine, please..." The party sits down, watching Barry and Hiro slowly whittle away at the Dark Lord's strength with compound interest and crushing debt.
The Demon Lord slowly fades away, his last words carried by the wind.
"I wish I never bought those 2000 gacha re-rolls... just wanted a damn 6 star."