It had been a beautiful day. The sun had been shining, I had been lazing about all day flying my late grandfather's kite. All wonderful and normal and so utterly, blissfully, ignorant.

I say had because as I was quite happily unaware Avenia declared war on Revenir. So guess where they head fist? To the neutral town nearly straddling the border between Avenia and Revenir. With me being the first thing the Avenian army would see, lazing about, half asleep, you know just generally enjoying my life.

But nooooo, some dumbfuck king's gotta try to take over my tiny coastal fishing village that isn't associated with the guys they're at war with.

So, I lost my temper. When the Avenian King showed up with his documents of surrender for me to sign, I ripped them up and threw them in his face. Probably a bad idea?

Anyways, this 7 foot tall giant of a man, (At least in armour), decides to try to smash my head in, and the entirety of his royal guard decide that they better back up their boss.

So here I am, running through the main streets of a small fishing village being chased by a very angry king and his guard with my kite strapped to my back. Of course, my village has to just have the main road stop at the edge of a waterfall, leaving me with no choice but to jump for the other side of the chasm.

I brace myself for the long jump and channel all of my strength into flinging myself over the chasm. I feel myself practically fly across the gap, faster and further than I've ever gone. I could see myself landing on the other side and taunting the king.

Then I was promptly snapped out of my daydream as I plummeted down next to a waterfall.

Well shit. I'm dead now.

So what does a numbskull like me do when falling to a near-guaranteed death? Think about all of the people I'll miss? Try to come to terms with my death? Tell myself I'll live?

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No, I try to fly away with my kite cause it would be goddamn hilarious.

So. That's how I found myself plummeting down off a cliff trying to take an ancient kite off my back in order to survive a fall at basically terminal velocity. Yet you don't give a crap cause I'll survive unscathed and become a hero and it will all be perfect in the end?

Fuck no! I barely managed to get the kite off my back and start gliding. Oh, and FYI, when you're falling this fast, trying to slow yourself down is hard enough as is, without factoring in the massive strain it places on your arms and shoulders.

Oh, and I didn't even slow myself down enough to touch down on the ground. Nope, I basically collided with a wall, and just plummeted straight into some rocks.

And broke my legs.

As in, Broken to the point of no return and they will never work again broke them.

But hey! I'm alive! yay...

Great. So now what? What do I do to get out of here now? I'm kinda just at the bottom of a cliff surrounded by rocks with two broken legs that will never function ever again. What do I do now?

Watch the sun disappear over the horizon. At least, I planned to. I got about 3 hours in before I noticed my grandfather's kite was glowing.

Picking it up, I can see a vague outline of a pair of wings on the side of the kite. Looking at it I almost see it flying in the sky. Throwing the kite into the sky, I watch and see it fly the exact same way I envisioned. It's amazing, at that rate its gonna- wait.

Shit.

Throwing myself off the ground, I barely manage to drag my battered body over to the kite string before it flies away.

Grabbing the string, I feel myself being ripped out of the Chasm, flying in 5 minutes what I fell in a minute. cool, so now I have a kite that does stuff. Can I control it? Sorta. Is it awesome? Yes. Was the joke worth it? Absolutely, but I'd like to do one more thing.

As I fly back up the chasm, I find myself flying directly over the Avenian King. Shouting "Okay boomer" to announce my position as I fly overhead, I send myself flying headfirst towards him. He turns and tries to stab me, but I dodge, circling one of the royal guards of his. He feints left, I dodge upwards, jangling by the kite strings. He moves to cut it, And I fling myself left to avoid him cutting the kite string. Then, while I'm still dodging, he turns and stabs at me. I dodge by letting go of the kite, crumpling to the ground.

Closing my eyes, I brace for death, only to feel nothing.

Complete silence.

A minute passes.

Someone coughs.

I look up, only to see the King of Avenia staring at me, mute, and also impaled, with a horrified guardsman behind him. And that's how I, a boy with no legs and a kite became known throughout the continent as the Kite Kingslayer.