A blond-haired beauty sides into the pub. A solid 10, with the grace of a fair lady, the kind you didn't see on ogre street.
Scanning the bar, she spots a drunkard sinking into his seat. Nearly all world problems were solved, yet alcoholism was still popular as ever.
The drunk man perked up as soon as he saw her drop her purse on the opposite seat.
"Aw feck I must be really drunk, cuz yoz way 'otter than eh should be considerin' how feckin sloshed I am indeedie dooo..." The man falls into giggles. The blonde woman gives a reptilian grin.
"I'm Amy, president of the Eternal Queen Investigation Agency." She clips, flashing a badge with a bloody crown.
"Oh fuck..." He whispers, suddenly sober. "I di'ent 'spect you to show."
"Well I'm here, so talk, Charlie."
"Ok. So back in 2044 people were startin to get a wee bit sus of deh Queen's old age, roight? Well, den she nearly bloody fockin died back in da nord and den everyone was just praying God save da bloody queen which was right all-round till she actually lived and made a bloody monarchy again. Like bloody 'ell woman. Anyways, so people were tinkin 'holy feck, God saved da Queen'." He paused, grabbing a pint of Guinness off as nearby table.
"And don do thinkin I'm drinking Guinness cuz Oi'm reckon Irish. Ya know, a 'tudy found that drinking Guinness can reduce blood clots and the risk of heart attacks. So it's right as rain." He rambled.
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Amy sighed. "Listen, my good sir, I'd love to hear of it, but don't we have far more pressing matters to attend to?"
Charlie turns in surprise.
"Bloody hell I forgot about the Queen.-" He slams his glass on the table, shattering it. "Feck. Anywhoo, de teary is dat de Queen did die back in ol twenty-forty-four, but 'stead o'tellin people, she was replaced with sometin else."
"Oh? What could have replaced the Queen for near millennia so convincingly?" She asked, suddenly interested.
"Well, teary is, 'every Queen dies unknown, wit a new lady taking 'er place back 'every now and den."
"Oh? That's actually not that farfetched. It seems plausible. Thank you very much, good sir." She smiles, placing her handbag on the floor.
"No prob' mi'lassie. Good to talk 'bout er' wonderful Queen."
A waitress suddenly hurries out and says something to the bouncer.
"Course, there's another teary, bout de Queen never actually bein de Queen..." Amy suddenly straightens up, rapt.
The Bouncer suddenly walks inside and makes a beeline for the man. Grabbing him by the shoulder, he shakes the man's arm and grins.
"Alright Charlie, your drunk man, get the hell out." The bouncer laughs, his face absent of mirth. As he's being wrestled out, the man turns and grins.
"Fine, but let me give a wee tidbit o'info." He laughs, his mirth and accent fading.
"Apparently, our dear Queen actually uploaded her body into a digital form, and over time, she's become the closest thing to a God there is, being able to manage an entire world alone." He grins. "It's so good to see you again my dear Elizabeth. For a while, I thought you wouldn't take a human form you know." Amy's eyes widen.
"Dear God... Is that you Charles?"
"In the immortal flesh, your majesty." He concludes, before shooting the android through the head. "You knew I was to be the next immortal king, Elizabeth... So why not let a dead Queen die?" He says, as the android slowly shuts down.
"Damn you, I should have been the one, I had Excalibur..."
Charles walks out of the pub, lighting a cigarette. Moments later, as the cigarette is nearly finished, the pub explodes, the Queen's android detonating.
And so continues the ancient feud between the Immortal Prince and the Artificial Queen.