(Warning: The following discusses racism at some length. My purpose was not to discuss racism in the real world so if you want to fight about racism then kindly take it elsewhere.)

-

And after all that, we were rescued the following day.

I say rescued, it was a relatively small party of men that rode into the clearing, flags of Redania waving high above head along with the Coulthard crest and, to my surprise, the Kalayn crest. Maybe a dozen men all told and it very nearly started to go wrong immediately.

We had all spent the intervening time, since the mist had started to lift and seeing all of the bodies laid out beneath us, going into shock. The incredible sense of relief was a hammer blow. That, along with the lack of fear and lack of drive that accompanied it, meant that all of our energy left us and we spent a long time just staring into space. If there had been a dozen survivors of the cult and they had just turned up then, then they could have killed us all with ease. Kerrass had performed his miracle in the morning, maybe a couple of hours before noon when people had finally finished dying and I, for one, had no idea what to do with myself. It was the unpleasant version of having just finished an extended project or essay where you're between projects and wondering how to start the next one.

No, it was worse than that.

It was like how I felt after I had finished the final version of my thesis and had handed it in. What was I going to do with myself now? I suppose I could go into town and get drunk. Maybe find a dice game, or a Card game of some kind. Maybe I could see if I could find myself a willing woman of some kind but then, that slow realisation that there were problems with all of that. The first was that there suddenly seemed to be so many options to choose from that it was quite overwhelming but also that I didn't really want to do any of them. What I wanted to do, indeed what I felt guilty for not doing, was going off to my writing desk and getting back to work.

It was like that, only much less pleasant.

What did we do now? We were all tired, exhausted even, with that curious headache that signifies a level of exhaustion that you had not thought possible but at the same time, still makes sleep impossible. So I wanted to sit down somewhere quiet and begin to process everything that happened. I wanted to sit and think about Dan's sacrifice, the military actions that had brought us all to this point. I wanted to get it all clear in my head so that when Sam, Ariadne or anyone else started to ask questions, then I would be able to answer them.

But then that very thought of it's own hit me in the face like a brick.

I was going to live. I was thinking about the future. I was planning what I was going to say to Ariadne when I saw her next. I tried to picture her face and suddenly I couldn't do it. But I didn't need to picture it. I was going to see it. I was going to be able to cup her cheek with my palm and hold her close.

This was too much and I burst into tears.

I was not the only one shedding tears either. The sheer realisation of a pending future had hit the Elves especially hard. They moved around in a daze, looking out at the field of the dead as though they themselves had turned into ghosts. Chireadean had sat on one of the logs that we had, up until that point, been using as a barricade and just sat, staring out into the distance, tears running freely down his face. His face that carried no expression.

I tried to sit and get some rest but my legs wanted to move. I wanted to be moving and running and getting on with whatever came next. So I climbed back to my feet and stood there, wondering what to do. My legs ached and seemed still. Now that I was stood up, I wanted to stretch and lie back down again. I found myself wanting to smile and laugh at the same time. I even tried to but it came out as a sob instead.

The four remaining bastards, along with the Sergeant and Rickard were working. Stripped to the waist they were clearing the dead away from our barricade, clearing space and finding spent arrows and cutting more of them out of bodies, trying to see what would still be usable. They worked mechanically, like the clockwork and steam powered machines that the Dwarves and Gnomish lecturer brought into the university in order to teach us all how inferior we were to those, more subterranean races. They were pale faced, their mouths and eyes set into fixed lines that seemed compressed into a solid lump of stone.

After some time, I realised that I had been watching them work for some time and bent over to help but it seemed that my strength had left me somewhere and I sunk back down into a seated position.

Rickard brought me a tin cup of tea which was when I realised that I had been sat, like the Elves had been, staring into space sobbing gently with the dawning realisation of my continued existence.

“Drink this,” he told me, “it helps.”

“What is it?”

“Tea, honey, brewed strong. The Elves'll hate it but.... it works.”

“Why?”

He scratched his chin. “Damned if I know, but it does.” He began a long and extended speech about the many and varied benefits of drinking tea but I had already drifted away. Enjoying the warmth that the small cup gave out on my sore fingers.

“No, I meant why do the Elves hate it?”

“They seem to think that adding honey into any kind of herbal drink defeats the object of the exercise.”

I grunted to show that I had heard him. But he was already off and talking about something else. I had drifted off again I think.

“What's wrong with me?” I asked suddenly. I probably interrupted him but there was no way I could leave the question unasked for any longer.

“Many, many things.” He joked. An old joke but it's always a good one. I can't have reacted though because he sighed. “We call it battlefield reaction.” He told me. “All of the awful stuff that we have to do to ourselves to get ourselves ready to fight and to die comes at a cost and sooner or later that cost has to be paid.”

“I've had reaction before,” I told him. “I've been in fights before and I've been afraid I might die before.”

“Yes, but not like this. This time you weren't afraid that you were going to die. You knew it. You absolutely knew that this was going to be your last day sucking down air. It takes a long time to come back from that and you're far from fully healthy as it is.”

I snorted, taking his comment for a joke. “Thanks.”

“No, I mean it.” He started off with another catalogue of my injuries and physical deprivations and all of the things that Kerrass and I had been through. I knew why, he was trying to reinforce the idea that it was ok for me to feel fucking awful but I didn't want to be reassured. I had no idea what I wanted at the time. Now, looking back, I wonder if I wanted to be chastised for still being alive when so many others had died. But another question occurred to me.

“How come you're ok?”

“Because I'm working Freddie. Military discipline is good for some things. That's why men are often set to work immediately after a battle, moving the wounded, preparing the dead, all of that kind of thing. It's to help with the reaction. I will admit though that taking care of the dead would be a tall order here.”

For the first time, some of the horror of what had happened sunk into his voice a little. “Kreve's mercy,” he muttered as he scanned the field of the dead, “So many of them.”

When I next thought to look up, he had gone.

The bastards ran out of work later that day, sort of mid-afternoon. One of the major questions that people have asked me in the aftermath of all of this is why didn't we move on? I'm afraid that I really don't know. I suppose that we might have been reluctant to leave the relative safety of where we were. It might also be true that if we were attacked, we were a little under the impression, however false, that we could call upon whatever apparition that Kerrass had summoned in order to protect us. It might also be true to say that we were worried about what else, or who else might be out there in the trees. We were all exhausted, on a physical level and a mental level after everything that had happened....

All of these things are true and all of them might go some distance to explain why we didn't move from our small hill.

However, for me at least, the truth of the matter is that it simply didn't occur to us to move. I must have eaten at some point although I have no idea what. I know that Rickard was getting worked up by The Elves attitude towards their own dead. It certainly seemed a little odd to me. There didn't seem to be any kind of connection between the Elves grief for the fallen and their treatment of the bodies. The bodies of the Elven dead were stripped of their possessions which were then passed onto relatives (if any) or to friends, which counted as all of the survivors. They grieved certainly but they spoke as though the dead had already gone. While they worked there was a not insignificant part of me that wanted to ask them questions about this. I wanted to research and chase up societal niceties and find out why they behaved like this.

But I didn't. Again, I don't know why, beyond the fact that.... I just didn't feel like it. I didn't want to.

Later that afternoon, Kerrass, Rickard and I went for a walk to have a look at the devastation. I wanted to find Lord Cavill but I was also curious to see who else was out there for me to recognise. How many other names could be crossed off the list of people that would need to be hunted down by other men, by the inquisition or my brother's soldiers. Rickard wanted to recover the arrow that had slain Lord Cavill. He wanted it for Dan's cremation which we intended to hold later that evening along with the funeral rites for the other Bastards that had died on the hill.

So we headed out towards the circle of chanting men that Chireadean had spotted around where Lord Cavill had been.

As I say, the men there had been butchered. We saw that their bodies had been torn apart, insides strewn around the place like streamers after a party. Heads and limbs severed. Rickard commented that several of them looked as though they had been ripped apart by wild horses while still others looked as though they had been directly struck by seige weaponry.

I didn't ask him how he knew that.

Instead, we picked our way through the corpses until we got to where Lord Cavill lay. As it turned out, he was lying flat on his back with his legs bent at the knee and tucked under him. The arrow had struck him from above and seemed to have gone down through his neck and into the body. Rickard was shaking his head in amazement, presumably at the skill that Dan had shown in making such a shot, or amazement in the fact that the shot had been lethal.

Certainly such things were amazing but, like before, I found the entire situation a little bizarre and more than a little bit amusing. Cavill's face wore an expression of utter, almost comical astonishment and disbelief, as though this couldn't possibly be happening to him as he fell back and died. We guessed that he bled to death but it was hard to say. He was already wearing black and the blood would have simply dyed this black an even deeper shade.

Rickard bent down with a dagger and cut Dan's arrow out of him before telling us that he had got what he came for and wanted to head back “to camp”. Kerrass told him that he wanted to have a look around a bit longer. I didn't decide to stay with Kerrass, or not to go with Rickard. I just went with the flow and accompanied Kerrass as he walked off.

The questions that were occurring to me seemed to float to the surface, the way meat floats to the surface in a stew or how bubbles come to the surface in mud or swampland.

“What are you looking for?” I asked Kerrass as we walked off.

“The man that got furthest away.” he told me. Again, on any other day I would have asked for clarification, asking what he meant by that but I just couldn't bring myself to.

From where Cavill had fallen there seemed to be an elongated stream of men. If you imagine a fire as being the main site of the slaughtered men, the flames licking up from that fire were the people that had begun to realise what was happening and had begun to flee.

Or even better than that. If you imagine a child's drawing of a sun. The way the child will draw the rays of the sun streaming off the yellow disk. That was closer to what it was like. As though the apparitions, or whatever it was that Kerrass had summoned, had begun their work, some people had realised what was happening and had begun to run away with their best possible speed. Others had stayed, whether through shock, surprise or because they were braver or stupider than the vast majority of their fellows.

Close to Cavill's body were a number of other men who wore similar kinds of headdresses to Cavill but smaller and much less grand. They rested on top of the head rather than needing to be attached to some kind of back rest in order to be carried. As we walked past I managed to summon a little bit of curiosity to take some of their hoods down to see if I recognised any of them. As it turns out, I did and I felt another disappointment. A number of these men had been nice to me and sped me on my way as I continued the hunt for Cavill.

After that, I stopped looking although I continued to walk with Kerrass. I had realised that I was looking for someone too. I wanted to find Cavill's son. I wanted to know if he was here.

He was, or rather, he had been. He had fallen near his horse. It seemed that his horse had literally had it's head sheared from it's neck and as it fell, it had pinned my enemy under him, crushing his leg but not killing him. The apparitions had not forgotten him though. The top of his head had been cut off in the same way that father used to cut the top of his boiled eggs off when he was having them in the morning. I felt sick as I looked down at him, trying to decide what it was that I was feeling.

He was one of the most far out parties in that he must have taken to horse and fled as soon as the screaming must have started. I wondered what to make of that. Did that make him cowardly? That he had started to run as soon as something was coming for him and he was not guaranteed a victory? Or did that just make him sensible? That he realised what was happening and tried to escape.

“The spirits knew their work it would seem.” Kerrass decided. “Not a single person escaped.”

I said nothing. Nothing to say I suppose.

“Are you alright?” He asked me and I realised that I was weeping again. Not sobbing but there were tears running down my cheeks.

“I don't know.” I answered as honestly as I could. “I can't seem to think straight. It all feels a bit much, overwhelming even.” I straightened up, realising that I had kind of slumped as I stood, and stared at the horizon. “I feel....empty, I feel......I don't know how I feel.”

“Robbed?” Kerrass suggested.

“I don't know.” I told him. I was lying, I had no idea the word I was looking for or what name to give to what I was feeling but that was exactly how I felt. I felt as though I had been robbed of something and I didn't know what it was.

“There's nothing wrong with that you know.” Kerrass had seen through me of course. I guess that that's what happens when you spend enough time on the road with each other. “You wanted to fight off your enemies yourself. You wanted to be the one to kill this bastard here and you wanted to be the one that killed Cavill and the others. I imagine that you would have settled for me doing it, or Rickard maybe but what you wanted was to get through to your brother so that you could stamp on your enemies. Riding at the head of an armed force to take justice, and vengeance if we're being honest with each other, from their bodies. You wanted to see justice be done. And now they are dead. Dead much quicker than they deserved.”

I felt the beginnings of a smile. “And how is that ok?” I asked. “How is it alright that I wanted revenge for everything that they had put me through? Put you through as well, you and everyone here and that they have been tormenting for so long. Aren't I supposed to be better than that? How is that ok?”

“The very fact that you are questioning that is the answer I'm afraid, and I know that that's no consolation. We won Freddie. We won.”

“This doesn't feel like winning. You were right, I do feel robbed but that's not all of it. I feel.....I feel numb. When I start to think of things now, when I start to make plans for the future, a future that I had given up on then it all gets too much and there are more tears.....Fucking hell, I didn't shed this many tears when Father died. Or when Francesca went missing. I got angry and drunk instead of shedding this many tears.”

“I remember.”

“I mean there were tears but not this many.” I sighed, taking a deep breath. “This doesn't feel like victory, this doesn't feel like we've won.”

“But we have. We're going to get to your brother. An army is going to march into the hills and take that mine, cave or whatever it was. They will take prisoners who will, under the inquisitions care, tell us everything we want to know about who and where the other cultists are. Those people are going to be thrown to the Empress' judgement and the judgement of the church courts. I would even go so far as to suggest that this is one of the few cases that money isn't going to be able to buy anybody back into good graces with either the Empress or the church. We won.”

“So why do I feel like this? Why do I feel so empty?”

“Because you lived Freddie.” I was surprised by the sadness in his voice. “Because you lived.”

“I don't understand.”

Kerrass shook his head and would say no more on the subject. We stood in silence for a while, staring out. We were almost on the lip of the valley and I could all but stare out over the top of things and see back to the North, Not quite the way that we had all come in to the valley, crater or whatever you want to call it. I was struck with two simultaneous feelings. The first was a desire to step out of the valley and see what was out there. To see what was happening off to the north. To walk out of this place of death and destruction, of heartbreak and loss and just keep walking to wherever I might end up. But there was another feeling, almost an equal and opposite feeling. It was fear. Fear of the unknown almost even though I am aware that this makes no sense at all.

I lowered my eyes back to my fallen enemy and a thought occurred. I went to the man's horse and looked through the saddlebags but it wasn't there. I found what I was looking for eventually, strapped to the horse underneath the carcass of the horse and trapped between it and the smashed leg of Cavill's son.

Yes, I know I'm not using his name. I feel as though he doesn't deserve that dignity. Distance means that my anger towards him has grown a little.

Indeed, it had caused a not inconsiderable amount of damage to the man's leg, being crushed between the horses bulk and him. It took some doing but I finally managed to pry Gardan's axe loose and I stood there looking at it in the light of the sun.

It shone.

“So my curse came true.” I said aloud. I have no idea to whom I was speaking. Maybe to Kerrass and maybe to the dead man. “I promised I would pluck this from a dead man's hand and as it turns out, I have done that very thing.”

The axe was heavy and in the end I had to lower it to the ground. Kerrass hadn't said anything, he was behind me so I can't tell you what facial expression he wore. “At the time,” I began, “When I first said those words, when I made that threat, I had no idea how I was going to carry it out. I meant it as a psychological thing. I wanted to sow a seed of doubt into his mind, a little bit of fear but now it has come true.”

I kicked at a stone, I have no idea why but it seemed important to accompany that statement with some kind of physical action.

“Did I do this Kerrass?”

Kerrass sighed audibly. “If you are looking for a way to take responsibility for all of this death then I'm afraid that I'm not going to help you there Freddie. You did not do this. I summoned the thing and the thing killed them all but none of that would have been necessary if Cavill hadn't been chasing us. If you go looking for blame then you will find it after a while and there is more than enough guilt to go round for us all. More than enough guilt, but there is always a danger that that guilt will cripple you if you let it.”

He paused for a while. As I say, I wasn't watching him so I have no idea what he was doing during this little speech or during the pause that came afterwards.

“All we can do Freddie,” he went on after a while. “All we can ever do is do the best with what we knew at the time. Doing it so that we can live with what we have done. You did the best you could. The man that killed these people was Cavill when he took them from their homes, taking advantage of commoner superstition and guilt. He got them drugged on stuff that they didn't understand and forced them into his service until they had no other choice. And if it makes you feel better.... They would not have survived long after your survival and arrival at Kalayn castle anyway. If we had made it back clean, you would still have stood over their bodies in the end.”

“I know that. It doesn't help though.”

“No, I know. It never does. There is a Witcher's truth and I understand it's a truth that is carried by Knightly orders and holy orders when they talk about the souls that they have saved. The good ones though, are off in the corner, berating themselves and worrying about the people that they failed, the ones that could not be saved and they reconcile themselves with the same saying, over and over again.”

“I remember you telling me.” I told him. “You can't save everyone. You tell yourself that so that you can move on and save the next person.”

“That's right. These people,” I heard movement and I assumed that he was pointing or gesturing in some way. “These people were already dead. We.....I put them out of their misery in the same way that you would kill a dead dog. If it wasn't me it would have to be someone else. Maybe you, or your brother or the growing Holy army that I expect is growing outside Castle Kalayn as we speak.”

“You're right.” I told him. “I know you're right. But do I have to shrug all of this off straight away?”

“Not straight away Freddie,” I heard the smile in his voice. “Not straight away. Let's get back though eh? I'm getting hungry.”

“Only you could get hungry on a battlefield.” I told him as I heaved the axe up onto my shoulder with a grunt.

“There's a joke here about being being surrounded by meat.” He said. “But that's probably a bit tasteless at the moment.”

“More than a little.” I told him.

“What are you going to do with that?”

We had turned and were heading back to the hill where our friends were waiting and he gestured at the axe.

“I don't know.” I said. “I rather think that I should have it blessed by someone. A priest of Kreve of some kind and then it should be returned to Father Gardan I think.”

“You going to bury it with him.”

“I thought about that and I actually think he would disapprove. I think it should be working in some way, being used to right wrongs and defend people even if that is only the person that carries it. Also, it's a symbol now. If I left it there, it would be stolen or taken and who knows where it will end up.”

Kerrass nodded. “You should learn to use it. I think Gardan would approve.”

“This thing?” I asked in surprise. “I can barely lift it, let alone fight with it.”

“Get stronger then.” He told me reasonably. “It would be good for you. It would improve your footwork no end and teach you the benefits of keeping moving. You sometimes have a tendency to remain too solid in your stance.”

“Not for me Kerrass.” I shook my head. “We can discuss my “stance” when we're both a bit stronger but this weapon needs to be carried by someone who knows how to use it. And who will use it in the defence of some ideal.”

Kerrass smiled slightly but said nothing.

I had forgotten beautiful the axe was. The butterfly wing shaped blades glittered in the firelight as I examined it back at camp. The light that reflected off the edge seemed, hard somehow, more brittle than the soft glow that the flames often suggested to my mind.

It was as though the axe was angry, or hungry in some way. I know that that's ridiculous and I've since had the axe checked by both mages and Priests of multiple different religions and practices so I'm confident that it was just my imagination. But I remember feeling as though the axe was out of place somehow. I didn't take as kindly to the axe's harness and sheath. It was made from thin leather and I found that I simply didn't trust it so I threw it all on the fire, instead selecting a spare blanket from the many that we had spare now and after thoroughly cleaning and oiling the weapon, I wrapped up the blades and set it aside.

The simple action, the simple chore had banished the emptiness for a while.

We held Dan's funeral, along with the funeral of the other fallen Bastards that evening. Using oil that we had found from the enemies camps and a lot of the remaining chopped wood from the barricades. I did wonder what we would do if we came under attack again but the Sergeant answered me with a snort and Rickard commented that if we came under attack again, then a few bits of wood were not going to save us.

This was not a reassuring comment.

Instead, we sat and stacked the wood, burying the bodies as part of the pyre so that the funeral would not be prolonged indefinitely. The problem being that neither Dan or any of the others had been properly prepared by a priest but by the time we got them back towards civilisation then they would be long.....ripe. Instead we resolved to carry some of the ashes with us for a priest to bless.

The Elves didn't care about it that much. They watched and said nothing. Their own dead had been carried into the woodlands surrounding us and then left there, presumably for the animals to take care of. Chireadean told me that the body was just a house for the soul and that now the soul had fled, the best thing that could be said of the body is that it was meat. Meat for the animals and the earth to take what they could from it.

Normally I would have debated with him on the topic, but the energy had not yet returned. Instead, I found a warm patch of ground and wrapped myself in my cloak and blanket before sleeping.

As I say, we were found the following day.

I had to be roused to greet our rescuers. Ten armoured horseman wearing Redanian colours and waving the flags of Coulthard, Redania and Kalayn. They were led by a young knight. I have no idea how old he was as I strongly suspect that our interactions coloured my opinion of him. At the time, I thought that he was barely old enough to shave.

He and his men picked their way through the devastation with looks of disgust, mostly focusing on keeping their horses from shying away from some of the, now, rotting meat as they approached the smouldering remains of The bastard's funeral pyre and our signal fire.

We had been intending to move out later that day if we were up to it but it seemed that the decision had been made for us.

The Armoured Horseman rode forward. At first I was surprised at the sound of bows being strung and arrows being attached to strings but then I realised that the Redanians all had their hands on swords themselves.

“Who goes there?” The leading knight shouted up to us.

Rickard, Chireadean and I looked at each other. Chireadean shrugged and Rickard looked at me.

Fuck.

“As we've been under attack for some time now Sir knight. You will have to forgive me for asking for the name of the man approaching our camp first.” I began, calling down to where he sat his horse.

“Lord Frederick? Is that you?” He asked.

“That depends on who's asking.” I responded.

“If that is you Lord Frederick, I am under orders to bring you back to your brother.”

“Oh yeah?”

“We shall make a horse available for you my Lord.”

I was struggling to keep up. My head felt heavy and I was still struggling to force my brain into thinking properly.

“Who are you?” I demanded, feeling my patience snap a little bit. “Furthermore....”

“I am Sir Stefan Colrith.” He told me as though that should answer all of my questions.

Again, I felt my brain struggling to catch up with what my ears were hearing.

“What about the rest of my......people Sir Colrith.”

“They can follow along in due time.” He waved his hand dismissively. “My orders are that you are to be made safe as soon as possible.”

I looked around myself. Kerrass was non-plussed, wearing the expressionless mask of a Witcher meaning that there was absolutely no way that I was going to be able to tell what he was thinking. Rickard was smiling ruefully, already catching up with the idea that we were heading back into places where title, rank and the quality of your blood meant more than competence and deed. Chireadean wore a similar expression but he seemed as though he was a little sadder than that. As though he was resigned to whatever happened next.

As I looked further I saw the faces of the Elves and the few remaining bastards. I saw their expressions, the lines of fatigue and the dirt encrusted patches of skin. I saw the wounded who looked to me and far too many of them wore an expression of resignation. I could almost hear them. “He will go,” they thought. “And we will be forgotten about.”

“No,” I said. Whether to the knight standing his horse beneath the hill or whether to the imagined sentiments that I felt coming from the people that had bled and died to get me to this point, I'll let you be the judge. I do know that when I started to speak again, I was talking to the man beneath me. “No,” I said again. “No I don't think so. You can go and tell my brother.... whichever brother it is and I notice that you haven't said his name yet so why should I believe you, that I am not leaving the people behind that have all but carried this far. If he wants me to come then he is to send enough horses to carry all of us. All. Of. Us.”

I thought I saw Chireadean's eyebrows lift out of the corner of my eyes.

“Sir, I'm afraid I really must insist?”

“Yeah?” I asked. “Then I'm afraid that I really must insist that you get Fucked and....”

“This is outrageous.”

Not incorrectly, Sir Rickard decided that I was clearly not able to properly conduct these negotiations.

“Sir Colrith.” He began stepping out so that everyone could seem him. “Allow me to present myself. I am Sir Rickard, head of Lord Frederick's protective detail as assigned by Lady Emma von Coulthard and as such I am afraid that it is simply impossible for me to allow Lord Frederick to accompany you.”

Chireadean and I exchanged glances. “I never knew he had it in him.” Chireadean commented.

“May I ask why not?” Sir Colrith hissed, presumably still angry about being told to Get Fucked.

“Because in allowing him to go off with you, I cannot guarentee his safety and as such I would be derelict in my own duties.”

“I will guarantee his safety.” Sir Colrith declared proudly. Obviously feeling that he was finally dealing with someone who appreciated the proper order of the world. Someone who understood honour and whatnot. “And as such you may surrender your charge to my care.”

“You misunderstand.” Sir Rickard said sweetly. “What I am saying is that I will not permit Lord Frederick to leave the sight of my people and I.”

I saw Chireadean nodding in satisfaction as well as the Elves exchanging glances with each other. Sir Rickard making a declaration of “my people” rather than “my men” was hitting the right tone with everyone involved.

“But I have guaranteed his safety.” Colrith's surprise was prominent.

Rickard had turned back to where we all waited for him. “And I'm telling you that I don't care.”

“Are you questioning my honour?” Colrith demanded.

“If you like.”

“Then I shall call you out sir. I will see you at dawn.”

Rickard nodded. “If you insist. In the mean time you will return to your superiors and you will inform them that Lord Frederick does not leave this place except under the guardianship of me and my people. We will need horses as well as surgeons and carts for my wounded. Otherwise, we will remain here. Such a party must be led by persons that both Lord Frederick and I recognise. The countryside is rife with cultists and traitors and as such we will not be going anywhere with people who are unknown to us. If we were to do that then I might as well cut his throat myself.”

“This is outrageous.” I saw him lick his lips. “I am under orders to establish Lord Frederick's safety. By force if necessary. How do I know that you do not hold him captive.”

Rickard shrugged. “Not my concern. Neither are your orders for that matter. Be gone, puppy before you get spanked.”

Sir Colrith tugged his sword from his sheath. I could see the soldiers with him looking at each other in concern.

“Look around you Puppy,” Rickard told him. “We did all of this. And you want to attack us?” He shrugged again. “Whenever you are ready,”

He jumped down next to me. One of the other soldiers had ridden up alongside Colrith and was whispering in his ear.

“An interesting bluff that,” Chireadean told him.

“Who's bluffing?” Rickard responded. “They won't get up here. He's just a young idiot wanting to make his name for himself. He wants to be the man who brings Freddie in safely and get the name recognition for that. You notice that he didn't offer to bring me along as well as his guard in order to guarantee his safety, or to trade a certain number of his men for mine?”

Rickard shook his head. “He didn't want to share the credit. That's all. Besides. It's true, there might be more enemies out there and this place will put the fear of....whatever it was that Kerrass did into them. So small a group of armoured horsemen would seem like a tempting target to me if there are still folks out there that mean us harm. Even as depleted as the bastards are and not taking the Elves into account.”

“Yes, thanks for that by the way.” Chireadean told him.

“You bled with us.” Rickard told him. “You're my people just as I am yours until you prove different.”

“Was that wise?” Kerrass asked. “Provoking a possible, even probable, rescue party?”

“Wise?” Rickard asked. “Probably not. But I am not going to be left behind here. This is just the kind of way that people get swept away and I won't have it. The tactical consideration not withstanding.”

The benefits of hindsight are many and far-reaching. Looking back at the incident, could I have done otherwise? Maybe. But I was tired and heartsick with grief and unspent anger and some uppity young knight who wanted to come in and tell us all what we were going to do was more than I could bare.

In the end we had to wait The next group of knights and horsemen to ride into the clearing was considerably larger also with considerably more flags and pennants flying above them. Again, I recognised the flags of Coulthard, Redania and Kalayn, but there were also the symbols of the three religions. The fire of The Eternal Flame, the triumverate of Melitele and the lightening bolt of Kreve. It was an impressive sight.

“No wagons I notice.” Rickard commented. “Well, Freddie, looks like you're going home. I'm not going to be able to bluff that lot.”

And just like that, almost with a snapping of our fingers, we were no longer in control of the situation. Not because knights started to posture or priests started preach but because three women got annoyed at the fact that they were being forced to follow the rules and, instead, took it upon themselves to leap out of the side saddles and sprinted over fallen corpses to get to us.

I saw one woman in her forties hurdling a dead horse in her haste to get to us. Medical pack bouncing at her rear and wimple already flying off in the wind of her passage.

I've said it before but it always merits being said again. There are few people in this world that I admire and respect more than the priestesses of Melitele.

They ignored the orders that came from the column of horsemen and moved past Elves that almost tried to stand in their way before simply sitting down, laying out their tools and getting to work.

Their apprentices soon joined them dragging their stubborn mules who were, quite sensibly, resisting the idea of forcing their way over a battlefield and before too much longer I was being examined and poked and prodded. Then I was told to sit there and drink this. Kerrass, Rickard and Chireadean were treated with no less perfunctory a manner and submitted to the examinations of one, slightly older woman who seemed to be in charge. I was a little bewildered by the pace of it all and I was almost surprised to find myself staring at a large man in the red robes of the eternal fire. His head was shaved and he seemed to be missing an arm, shouting over his shoulder that guards should be coming and arresting us all.

“Wait, what?” I heard myself say feeling rather stupid.

This book is hosted on another platform. Read the official version and support the author's work.

“For consorting with dark forces.” The priest intoned in a dire voice. “For dealing with and consorting with unclean non-humans.”

“Ah,” Chireadean nodded as though something had just clicked into place. “This is our fault. I should have recognised the signs.”

“I'm too tired to be arrested right now,” Rickard commented while one of the priestesses examined his teeth. “Come back tomorrow when I've slept.”

“Also,” the priest went on. “For the crimes of treason....”

“Now that's pushing it a little.”

“And for refusing to follow the proper orders of....”

“Oh that's it.” Another case of my mouth running off with it's thought before I could get in the way I'm afraid. “You're Colrith's father or something right?”

The Priest purpled. “These men,” he gestured at the fallen cultists that still lay out in the growing sun, “were clearly killed by the blackest sorcery. That alone is enough for me to be able to condemn you all on the spot.”

“On what grounds?” Chireadean demanded.

“I do not need to hear your words freak.” the Priest declared. “Filthy non-human you shall be swinging from the nearest tree by the end of the day, you and all of your.....”

Some of the remaining bastards growled. It was a tired growl, a growl of disbelief and sullen rage. The soldiers that were now climbing up the hill towards us recognised that noise, indeed some of them had probably generated that noise themselves and started to move up to defend the priest.

“The first man that lays his hand on one of my companions will lose it.” The Sergeant of the bastards declared, uttering his first words as part of the general discussion.

Again, those sounds that had become all too familiar to me. The sound of bows bending and arrows being strung to bow-strings before finally, blessedly, a familiar voice echoed around the hillock.

“Honestly Lord Frederick, how many acts of utter idiocy must the priests of the Eternal Flame commit towards you before you admit that they have lost their way and convert to a more reasonable faith.”

“Knight Father Danzig.” I called as the Knight Priest of Kreve stepped round the bulk of his fellow from the Eternal Fire. He stepped in and embraced me hard.

“Praise Kreve but it's good to see you.” He told me. “And you Witcher, heathen though you are. Sir Rickard too I see.”

Kerrass nodded his greeting. Rickard stepped forward and shook Danzig's hand with a smile.

“Allow me to present Chireadean,” Sir Rickard said. “Drafted into our service along with his people. I may say that without their help and their sacrifice,” he raised his voice so that others could hear. “That Lord Frederick, Kerrass and I would not be here now. We would not be here to bring you news of the cult that has brought this countryside low for these many years. ”

“That's not the point...” The Priest of the Eternal Fire began.

“Oh, be quiet.” Danzig snapped. I had forgotten how fast he could turn from the genial, funny and charming man that he was normally, to the cold eyed man of action.

He turned his back on the other priest and turned back to Chireadean.

“Chireadean, it is my honour to present Knight-Father Danzig of the Church of Kreve.

Another thing that I should have expected was the open hostility that was all but radiating from the Elf. Always a hard thing when two friends come together and they don't like each other.

“I offer you my hand, sir.” Danzig told Chireadean, removing his gauntlet. “You have done me a great service and a service to this land, to the followers of Kreve and to the followers of the Eternal Flame,” his wit came through again for a moment “had they the wit to see it.” But then he was back in his formal guise. “You have helped the people that live here and, on a more personal level, you have returned a dear friend to us. I am glad that mine is the first opportunity to thank you although I would wager that I will not be the last.”

He finally managed to get the gauntlet off and held the hand out to Chireadean. “Here is my hand sir. Will you take it?”

Chireadean stared at Danzig's hand for a long time and rubbed at his brow.

“I am not given to grand words or grand gestures.” He said after a long while. “I have not been in the position to be able to use either for far too long.”

He hadn't taken his eyes of Danzig's hand.

“I cannot take your hand sir,” Chireadean decided eventually. The soldiers hissed and there was some general movement towards aggressive poses. “unless,” Chireadean held his hands out to quell the attitude of everyone watching. “I can first ask how it is offered. The Followers of Kreve have done much to hunt and kill my people. There is too much blood and hate there and although this man,” Chireadean gestured towards Rickard “who I respect, admire and whose orders I have followed vouches for you. I have difficulty taking the hand of a priest of the church who has hunted my people to the point of extinction.”

Chireadean's eyes flashed and his teeth clenched at the end of his little speech.

Danzig nodded. “I can understand your pain and your anger.” He told Chireadean and, by virtue of his raised voice, the surrounding area. “There is hate and anger on both sides and,” he held up hands to forestall debate. “It belongs to wiser heads than I as to who is at fault. Instead...” He made his voice less grand, and took his helmet off. “Will you take the hand of the man who holds his hand out in gratitude. For saving the lives of my friends.”

Chireadean thought about this as well and grinned.

“That I will do and gladly.”

There was a perceptible sigh of relieve as the two men shook hands.

“I will warn you about the gratitude of the Vampire later.” Danzig said with a grin and a comical shudder. “Now,” he continued, jamming his helmet back on. “Although you and I have every reason to hate and distrust each other, I will show you that you can trust me.” He turned back to address the priest of Eternal Flame. “These people, regardless of whether they be Elf, Human, or Witcher, I suppose you want me to specify that as well, are under my protection. I have orders and requests from the ruler of this part of Redania that his brother is to be returned to him with all possible speed and I would not wish to disappoint him. As, his guard would not leave him, Sir Rickard and his fellows, including the Elves?” He asked Rickard who nodded. “Including the Elves will come along as well.”

The priest was apoplectic with rage. “This is outrageous.” He protested. “I really must protest, there has been obvious witchcraft and Sorcery here as well as the presence of non-humans and....”

“Protest all you like,” Danzig told him. “But these people are coming with me.” He was already moving off.

“That man,” the priest argued, pointing at me, “Is known to consort with evil creatures....”

“I see that Ariadne's in the area,” Kerrass muttered but the priest was in full flow.

“...and has murdered good and honest churchmen. This is just the final proof that we need to level charges of the blackest heresy against him and....”

“This is about Cardinal Mark and his reforms isn't it.” Danzig spat. “Well I'm here to tell you that....”

“Well,” a cold, older and female voice cut over everything. “If you two men would stop posturing for just a moment.”

She pointed at me. “This man is suffering from exhaustion, shock, mild malnutrition and already has a fever. So he's not going to be tried by anyone as far as I'm concerned. He is not alone in this diagnosis although he is, by some margin, the worst of that particular bunch. There are also broken limbs and many other more serious injuries that need treating urgently. These people are no under my care and nothing is going to happen to them so long as I live and breathe. Do I make myself clear gentlemen.”

“I bow to the wisdom of the honourable priestess of Melitele.” Danzig said, bowing deeply.

“So I should hope.” She snapped. “And as for you.” She turned on me. “Many of your people shouldn't be going anywhere. The only reason I am allowing this to happen is because this place is going to be awash with flies before too much longer and that is contrary to the proper conditions for healing. So you will indulge me by sitting still, shutting up and doing as you are told.”

“Yes Ma'am,”

“Is, I suspect, the wisest thing that you've said in years. Now have you drunk your medicine?”

“Yes Ma'am,” I was trying to ignore the fact that Chireadean and Rickard were openly giggling.

“Then lets get you and your people out of here.” Her face softened, so briefly that I wondered if I had imagined it for a moment. “You and your people have done a great thing.” But then her face hardened again for a moment. “So let's make sure that you stay alive long enough to make sure that it makes a difference shall we?”

“Yes Ma'am.”

Horses were found for us which was when I saw another reason that the Eternal Fire priest was so against us as we saw him talking earnestly to Sir Colrith. I hadn't seen the family resemblance before when seeing them separately but seeing them together, their attitudes and body language was so similar that it astonished me that I hadn't seen it before.

Another enemy I suppose. I shall add them to the list.

We rode the rest of the way to Kalayn castle slowly, at the Priestess' insistence. On the second day, the Priests and knights of the Eternal Fire left early to do....something. My politicians brain suggested that they had gone to begin sewing the ground with sentiments that could be turned against us all. The Priestess continued to approach feeding me vile smelling liquids and fussing over my diet. Another two of the Elves died from their injuries during the ride back and their deaths hit me hard. I don't know why although Chireadean's grief was somehow more raw, more angry. He wanted to know why they couldn't be saved and ranted for a while about the fact that we had been rescued so why couldn't they have survived.

I wept with him.

I wept uncontrollably for some time, before, during and after we had all mounted up to continue the journey. It was a pattern that had begun after the destruction of the cultists that were attacking us and I was getting increasingly sick of it. The tears would continue for a while before being joined by mental fatigue and a spate of exhaustion that would leave me swaying in the saddle. The roads were not yet wide enough for me to be carried in a wagon so at one point I woke up to find that I had been tied to my horse.

“What is wrong with me?” I asked the Priestess through the tears, as she came to me with my latest cup of goop that she would force me to drink while tapping her foot impatiently.

“There are any number of things wrong with you Lord Frederick.” She told me. “Not least of which is the desire to throw yourself into ludicrously dangerous situations that you have very little chance of getting out alive.”

“Yes, but apart from that.” I pleaded,

She looked down at me from where she stood, her lips pursed together and a slight frown.

“I am a good Healer do you know that?”

“What? errr.”

“I am one of the best healers in the North. Possibly approaching the level of Old Mother Nenneke now due to the poor woman's advancing age meaning that her hands aren't as steady as they used to be.”

“Right?” I prompted.

“I can perform minor miracles.” She told me. “Providing I have the access to the proper tools and the proper herbs and that the injured party will do what I tell them. I have reattached limbs and can amputate one in less than forty heartbeats. Quicker still if the patient is unconscious at the time and doesn't thrash about too much. I can cure most diseases and have delivered healthy babies when other midwives have given up hope. I can do all of these things and I cannot tell you what happens to a person when their brain gets involved in matters.”

She crouched down to look me in the eyes.

“There is evil in this place.” She told me. “Real, true evil. And you and your friends have done incredible things to get past it. It is no surprised to me that you are exhausted in your mind as well as in your body.”

She sighed and rubbed her eyes and I saw that she was tired as well.

“Think of it like this. When a body is tired or injured it is more likely to pick up diseases right?”

I nodded.

“The brain is like that. When it is tired and has dealt with all that it can hold then even small impacts can have massive repercussions. Where previously you might have been able to withstand much more serious trauma, because you are exhausted, even the smallest thing can send you to tears.”

She stood back up.

“The most I can offer you is something to help you sleep but I don't think you need much help in that. As it is, you're already coming down with a fever and a fairly serious cold. I'm giving you stimulants as we need you to still be standing up for the next couple of days, but you should prepare yourself for a serious bout of illness over the next couple of weeks.”

“Something to look forward to.” I found my dry sense of humour somewhere before punctuating her point by sneezing violently. I looked up to smile at her in acknowledgement of the point but she had already gone.

In the meantime, Knight Father Danzig spent the time talking to me about what had happened during the time that I was away. This was over the course of several days worth of conversations so I'll summarise in order to save paper and ink.

As had been promised, Messengers were sent out of Kalayn lands when Kerrass and I had left. Sam had briefly flown into a rage at the perceived desertion of Sir Rickard and his men, a fire that had been fanned by Sir Kristoff given that he and Sir Rickard had never made a secret of their mutual dislike of each other.

Apparently, Sam had had plans regarding the security of his realm that involved Rickard and the bastards, plans that were only slightly mollified by a message that Rickard sent explaining his actions but Danzig made it clear to me that Sir Rickard would be facing some tough questions when we got back to Castle Kalayn.

For his part, Rickard just shrugged saying, “I don't work for your brother, I work for your sister and the job she gave me was to protect you. More and more inclined to believe that I will be leaving your families service when Lord Samuel takes over.”

“Well, it might be more serious than that.” Danzig commented. Again though, Sir Rickard shrugged it off.

From there, troops started to come in from the surrounding area with some speed. The previous actions of the Inquisition and the priesthood had made sure that there were troops nearby that were able to mobilise should things become a problem. This meant that there was a now, not small, force of men mustering around Castle Kalayn.

“We will need those men.” I told him as I pulled my cloak that bit tighter around my body. I was feeling the cold more and more and was rather looking forward to a hot bath and then to lie down and sleep for a month or three. Danzig just grunted in response.

The first time we knew that something was wrong was when Ariadne had gated into Kalayn castle in a fury that terrified many. Danzig, for one, found it funny to look back on it but I can well imagine how frightening that might have been. Apparently she arrived, cloak billowing around her, golden staff twirling and a snarl on her face where she stomped off to see Sam to tell him that I was missing and that he should damn well find me sharpish. Then she vanished again, only to reappear an hour later with Emma and Laurelen in tow, all three of them demanding to know what Sam had done to help find me.

According to various reports, that conversation did not go well. Danzig refused to go into any further details on the subject. Word was sent out that there was some kind of magical dampening effect on the area that Kerrass and I was travelling through and to all intents and purposes it would seem that Ariadne went berserk.

“I think I would have liked to see that,” I commented.

“No,” Danzig told me. “No you wouldn't.”

The castle sent out search parties of course and people were contacted in the countryside around the area that we went missing. Not helped by the fact that a lot of Rickard's messages hadn't got through which meant that no-one knew what was going on or where we were but it was obvious that our disappearance was due to enemy action.

They knew this because the man that had been carrying my amulet was kept alive long enough to tell them that, but he died of a strange sickness before interrogators could get who was responsible out of him. Ariadne had told everyone that it was to do with having the wrong blood in his veins but that seemed to be a little too complicated for a lot of minds to believe. By then the Inquisition was out in full force, full of exactly the wrong kinds of priest (Danzig's words) who were out to make a name for themselves on the grounds that real heresy is getting rarer and rarer since The Empress' decree that non-humanity and magical abilities are no longer fitting excuses for being burnt at the stake.

Then the smoke plume had been seen. The area had been patrolled by church troops before as formal Redanian guardsmen being unable to go into Noble territory that had not requested it.

For those who don't know. The reason that nobles are allowed to maintain their own troops is to preserve and police their own territory. It's only when the King, or now the Empress, calls that they put their Redanian tabbards on in order to enter a noble's territory. If someone does that then that sort of thing can, and has, lead to civil war.

But the church troops were too thinly spread to properly monitor the area. Then a patrol came back saying that they had found someone claiming to be Lord Frederick.

“I may say that matters might have gone quite black for you if I hadn't been in the area.” Danzig told me with a chuckle.

“Oh? Why's that?”

“Ariadne has made no friends in her zeal to find you. Spiders have been seen coming this way and that in an effort to carry her messages to far flung parts of the countryside. To be honest, I'm surprised that she hasn't found you herself. She has also made her disdain and dislike of the vast majority of the priesthood well known. As well as the fact that she is now baptised in the worship of the Holy Fire. A fact that she throws in the face of all the uptight priests that she meets. It's been quite a lot of fun to watch actually. At one point they even forced a trial by fire on her.”

I laughed aloud. Even Kerrass grinned. Again, for the uninitiated, Elder Vampires like Ariadne are immune to fire.

“But the fact that she is both a Vampire and a Magic user is proof to many that she, and therefore you, are heretics and the very fact that she has been baptised is taken as a sign of the worsening of Church law. There are a lot of, I wanna say “Eternal Fire Traditionalists” leftover from when Radovid was deciding what was traditional in the church, and they have all come here in an effort to prove that you are an evil man. This is made worse because, in her fear for you, Ariadne is giving them a lot of ammunition.”

“Lovely.”

“Not quite my words.”

As we got closer and closer to Castle Kalayn and more and more familiar landmarks began to creep up, there was no longer any denying it. I was sick. The Priestess of Melitele told me that it was a cold, although she doubted that it was going to transform itself into a full blown attack of Influenza which she told me that I should be grateful for. She also told me that I should be prepared for this cold to hit me quite hard given the earlier blood loss, lack of proper nutrition, overexertion, physical and emotional fatigue. She told me that as soon as we got back to Castle Kalayn, I should take to a bed of some kind and stay there until I was allowed out. By her. When she was satisfied.

I told her that I didn't think that that would be possible on the grounds of things to be done. She looked at me strangely and then asked whether or not I thought that I had any control over the matter when my betrothed got hold of me.

I couldn't tell whether or not she approved of this and decided not to push it.

But I was beginning to feel truly dreadful by the time that the castle was coming into sight and the Priestess was giving me pills and potions in order to “limit” the fever rather than “curing” the fever. But I was beginning to feel a hunger in myself. A desire for all of this to be over, to tell my story and just be gone from this place. I was well aware that there were still things to do. People to talk to and the like but I wanted to be gone from here. When I first arrived in my brothers lands I had thought that it was beautiful and had been a little jealous of Sam in his new holdings. Coulthard castle has it's own beauty to be sure but it is the well conquered kind of beauty. The hedgerows and stone walls along with cultivated flower patches and maintained woodlands to go with the directed and patrolled little streams and rivers. There was a wildness to Kalayn lands that I had liked.

But no longer. Now I wanted to get out of the place. I wanted to go home, or into Ariadne's arms or, for entirely different reasons, into Emma's arms.

The other thing that was happening as we rode was that it was becoming clear that we were riding into the middle of an armed camp. Messengers were running everywhere, riders as well and the clearing beneath the castle, once the site of a battlefield and the temporary hall that Sam had constructed when he arrived, was now home to a sea of tents and pavilions. Danzig told us that most of these were empty now on the grounds that they were out on exercise or patrols. There were the sounds of blacksmiths working and men training.

All of this meant that I couldn't decide what I was feeling when we finally rode through the gates of Kalayn castle, the place seemed smaller than I remembered and an odd kind of melancholy seemed to be trying to claw at my brain as I pulled my cloak that bit tighter round my shoulders.

I saw Rickard greet Bones, his unit's surgeon that had been left behind, The surgeon, who called for Perkins, the messenger who had also been left behind, before being told the news and the final tally and the names of those who had fallen. Perkins tried, manfully, to hold back his tears until Bones put his hand on the younger man's shoulder and then the tears came but I didn't feel badly for him. I felt on the verge of tears and a good sobbing myself. Bones seemed to have aged visibly at the news.

Other men started to come forward. From those early days, some church soldiers and some of Sam's guards who had had the opportunity to work with Rickard and the bastards clustered round to hear the news.

Danzig had gone off to report somewhere and I we feeling a little isolated.

“Freddie,” Kerrass said gently from where he was standing next to my stirrups. I looked down at him and he nodded over to where I could see Ariadne. She was stood near the entrance to the keep, just emerging into sunlight.

I don't know whether I saw her first or whether she saw me first but her face seemed to shift slightly and then she just seemed to dissolve into a red and black smoke that billowed towards us despite the sheltered nature of the castle courtyard.

I just had time to dismount before the smoke reached me and coalesced.

Trying to think about how to describe what happened next. Trying to imagine a way to describe, weaponising a hug. Try and imagine being hit by a ballista, one of those siege crossbows that are made to fire tree trunks rather than bolts. The sheer impact of the thing, that you almost feel before it reaches you as the air screams in order to get out of the way of what is travelling through it, and then it hits you and you disintegrate into your component parts with the sheer impact of the missile. Then you wonder if you would remain conscious for even a moment as your head flies away from a significant portion of your innards and would you have time to see what the insides of your own digestive system looks like before you die.

Do you have that image?

Right, now imagine that, instead of a bolt, or a tree being fired at you, imagine that it was a hug that was loaded into the firing mechanism. I was literally knocked off my feet and the only reason that I was able to remain upright was due to the fact that the ballistic vampire that had struck me refused to let me fall.

The hug lasted a couple of seconds before she pulled back.

“If you ever do that to me again.” She snarled it, her teeth bared. She reminded me of an angry cat when it hisses at something that has the temerity to cross into it's eyeline when it is not required or wanted. “If you ever.....” Her eyes were scanning my face, darting from detail to detail. “If you....terrify me like that....”

But then she was hugging me again. I managed to find my feet and just held her back mumbling my apologies into her ear.

I was dimly aware that people were clapping and cheering. It wasn't a raucous sound, just a small expression of emotion. The place felt too damped down for that.

“I'm so sorry,” I whispered to her over and over again as I held and was held back. It was amazing, I had forgotten what her hair smelt like.

“I know,” she told me. “And it wasn't your fault, but that doesn't mean that I'm not furious with you.”

She pulled back, her face approaching normal again. She was wearing her scientist expression. “Why am I angry with you?” It seemed a genuine question. “I am, I'm furious. Furious beyond words but it's clearly not your fault. You didn't contrive to have yourself kidnapped, bled, tortured and whatever else was done to you so why am I angry with you?”

I chuckled through the tears that were running down my cheeks. “I love you too Ariadne,” I told her. Her face blossomed into delight and then we went on holding each other for a bit.

“I'm never going to let go of you again.” She told me at one point. Calmly, as though she was telling me that she had just eaten an apple.

“That might cause a bit of a stir at court.” I told her with a smile.

“I don't care.” She declared with a certain amount of asperity. “I shall start a new fashion trend where it becomes acceptable to walk around holding onto people, forcefully if necessary.”

“People might object to being held against their will.”

“They might. But they, and you,” her eyes flashed with a remnant of her earlier anger. “Should learn to accept what is best for them.” Her eyes narrowed for a moment. “You are sick.” She accused.

“I'm told I have a cold. I'm told that it's bad.”

“I've heard of these,” she mused. “I prescribe liquids and rest.”

“I approve of that suggestion.” Came another voice and I turned to see Sam who had been watching us with a smile and enveloped me in a bear hug when Ariadne gave him a bit of room.

“Sam,” I attempted. “Sam, you're cracking my ribs Sam.”

“No I'm not.”

“It feels like you're cracking my ribs Sam.”

I exaggerated my breathing in and out for a bit when he did release me so that I could pretend I didn't see him brushing the suspicious dampness out of his eyes.

“I want you to know, that I was about to tear the countryside looking for you.” He told me, gripping me hard on the shoulder. “I want to tell you that, here and now, before anything else happens.”

“Why, what's going to happen?”

He shifted his weight. “Things haven't been.....great.”

“Huh,” I let him off the hook. Sam had aged in the time since I had last seen him. He was paler, thinner and had the now standard issue black bags under his eyes. His hair was greasy and his clothes rumpled. I've never, never seen him like that.

“Flame Sammy but you look like hell, are they not feeding you enough?”

He grinned, Ariadne had snuck her arm round me and pulled me close while my brother and I were posturing. “You should look in the mirror yourself. If I look like the Eternal Frost has gotten to me then you look like you've been having sex with it.” He realised who he was talking with. “Uh, sorry Ariadne, no offence.”

“None taken,” She told him in an even voice that, from anyone else, might have been taken as being a dangerous tone.

But then I got distracted by something happening towards the castle gate that I had drifted away from during the reunions.

It was not a nice something, raised voices along with drawn weapons and the unmistakable Skelligan voice of the sergeant telling someone that “If you draw that dagger any further then I'm going to shove it so far up your arse that it'll pick your nose.”

Unfortunately, what was going on was immediately apparent. Some of the other soldiers, unfamiliar with Sir Rickard or his men, primarily among the Redanian contingent and among the soldiers of the more military religions had taken offence at the dozen or so Elves that were trying to get into the courtyard. They had held out their weapons to bar the way. I stress that this was the actions of just one or two men, certainly no more than five.

But one of the few remaining bastards had become upset by this, pushed the soldiers blocking the way aside and held the area open for the Elves to enter the castle.

It bears remembering that the Bastards were tired, dirty and more than a little ragged. In short, they did not look like what the Guards on the gate would consider to be “proper soldiers”.

Another thing that is worth remembering is that soldiers are trained to see that if their fellow is under attack, no matter whether you like them or not, approve of their politics or not, if they are being pushed around then you go their aid and all those guards saw was a rather ragged man pushing one of their fellows aside so that a group of dirty, smelly and above all armed Elves into the castle.

They had assisted their fellows. Which meant that more bastards who are just as susceptible to the aforementioned sentiments, stepped up. More guards were called and there was a very real danger of a fight breaking out. Sir Rickard was shouting at another knight which would later turn out to be Knight-Lieutenant Kristoff who was also raising his voice. Weapons had been drawn, all the while the Elves were crouched, half way between running for their lives and preparing to sell themselves as dearly as possible. The bastards were standing with them and I could see Danzig running back towards them shouting for his men.

“Sam,” I called but my voice cracked and I started coughing.

It was a mess. A fucking mess at that. I was trying to shout at Sam to do something, Sam was dithering, Rickard looked to be about to order his men to begin a fighting retreat and Kristoff along with many others looked to be getting ready to order and attack.

I tore myself away from Ariadne and forced my way through to where the Elves were and turned to face their....well, their attackers. I threw my arms wide, cloak and blankets forgotten.

I shivered.

Kerrass joined me and we stood facing the angry soldiers and churchmen. I could see that Ariadne had been astonished by my actions but was now moving through to join us.

“So,” I shouted at Kerrass over the increasing hubbub. “Does this make the list of most stupid things I've done?”

“Maybe,” he yelled back. “But it might work.”

Sam was shouting something now but no-one was listening.

A horn sounded. A loud blast, calling over and over again. Ariadne had started saying something to me, shouting over the horn blasts. Her words echoing after the noise had died down.

“It's like this a lot, and has been since I got here.” She told us all.

Sam stepped forward. “What's going on here?” He demanded.

“A fair question.” Sir Kristoff was moving to stand with Sam and I felt outnumbered suddenly. It was not a nice feeling and I wondered if the world had gone mad in my absence.

“I was asking you the question Kristoff.” Sam bellowed. He almost seemed to rock on the back of his heels with the force of his shout.

“These.....These non-human scum were trying to force their way into the castle.” Kristoff said loudly.

“I'm getting really sick of all this posturing that we're seeing all the time.” I muttered to Kerrass and Ariadne. I thought I heard Chireadean chuckle behind me. He would be the kind of person that would do that.

“When we sought to detain them, as was proper,” various people applauded Kristoff's words although it must be said, I didn't see him anywhere near the gate when it was all kicking off, nor when I rode in. “Rickard and what remains of his men leapt to their defence. Attacking our men as they did so.”

“Too fucking right I did.” Rickard declared. “And it's Sir Rickard or have you chosen to forget.”

“Have a care.” Kristoff growled

“That's enough.” Sam snapped and I began to get a sense of just why he might be quite as tired as he was. He rubbed at his eyes before walking closer to me.

“What's going on here Freddie?” He asked me.

I took a deep breath, mostly in an effort to still my shivering which was causing my teeth to chatter. Time for some posturing of my own.

“Lord Samuel.” I said carefully before a shudder went through my body. “May I present Chireadean. He and his people were good enough to help Kerrass, Rickard and I to get the news to you. I may say that they have fought, bled and died to do so.”

I said it loudly, despite a bout of coughing in the middle. “When we were sick,” I went on. “They healed us. When we were hungry, they fed us. When we fell, they literally picked us up and carried us on their backs. Without them, I would not be here, bearing the intelligence that I carry. I owe them a debt that I will struggle to repay and they deserve our respect.”

Ariadne turned and hugged an astonished and plainly terrified Chireadean and I heard her thank him.

“I believe that this explains the depths of Sir Rickard's sentiment as well as my own.” Rickard was not the only one who had noticed the lack of proper use of his rank and title.

“They cannot stay in the castle.” Sir Kristoff insisted.

“They are Heretical Non-humans and they have no place in honest, Flame fearing....” I thought I recognised the large priests voice.

“No soldier of mine will stand to be in the same....”

“Quiet,” Sam called. He turned pained and tired eyes back to me. “Freddie we can't.”

“Can't what Sam.”

“Freddie, they're Elves,”

“So?” I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

“They're Elves Freddie.” As though that explained everything.

I nodded, suddenly feeling incredibly tired and an incredible disappointment settled over me.

“Well,” I decided after a while. “If they're not welcome here. Then neither am I it would seem.”

“Freddie, wait.”

“We'll find ourselves a tent or something down below.” I told him before another huge bout of shivering took me.

“Those are military shelters and....” Kristoff had begun.

“Fine,” I snapped. I tried for some form of anger. “Fine, go fuck yourself with your pavilions then. We will be just as comfortable making camp in the woods somewhere won't we lads?”

The bastards cheered me and I even saw some of the Elves smile.

“Lead on Sir Rickard.” I told him looking around for my blanket.

“Freddie, don't do this.” Sam tried holding onto my arm.

“Sam,” I looked at him as Rickard started shouting orders. “It's you that are forcing this. You are in charge, you're the baron here. You're the one that's letting this happen. Don't let them....”

“If it was just me and mine then I could do something but what with the church and the rank of everyone involved my hands are tied.....And they're Elves Freddie,”

“They saved my life Sammy.” I pulled the blanket around me, Ariadne was putting a cloak around my shoulders. “I owe them everything and so do you.”

I started to shiver again.

“Freddie, you're sick.” Sam tried. “You need to get to a bed and get you healthy. And we need to know what you know.”

“That at least is true,” The Priestess of Melitele had joined us. “You should be in a real bed with a fire and something hot in your belly. Ariadne nodded in agreement. I noticed that she was frowning in thought.

“When you're ready to talk to us.” I told Sam sadly. “Then come and find us. But I'm not setting foot in that castle again. Not gonna lie Sammy, I'm disappointed. I thought I was coming home today.”

I turned away and started walking. It would seem that I was not yet done with tears.

We went down the track and into the woods but I found that I couldn't go much further and I don't think I was entirely alone. Ariadne came with us, brow furrowed in thought as she came. Kerrass was walking alternating between a faint Witcher smirk, or the serious Witcher mask that kept his thoughts hidden. Also coming with us was Knight Father Danzig with half a dozen soldiers wearing the armour and sigils of Kreve and more were running down from the keep tugging on armour and strapping sword belts to their waists. As they came I saw more than one Elf reflexively reaching for weapons before realising that the men of Kreve were forming up with our formation. Carefully avoiding looking like an escort.

Rickard, Chireadean, Kerrass and Danzig held a short conference and selected us a campsite a little ways into the tree line. Even that was almost too much for me and it was Araidne's strong arms that got me there.

When we finally stopped walking Chireadean came to me. Ariadne warned me in advance so that I had chance to wipe the tears of disappointment from my face and stood to face him.

“Chireadean, I am so so very sorry.”

He didn't say anything. He just hugged me, hard.

Danzig had started to speak though.

“That was shameful.” He told the Elves that were watching with tired and sullen eyes. “That was absolutely despicable. You, who have no reason to love the people of this land, took a stand against the blackest heresy that I can imagine. To me and mine, you folk are heroes and I will tell anyone who asks me as such.” He said it with force and emotion but I found myself wishing that I could believe his sentiments. I had to turn away again as more tears threatened me.

“My men will guard you tonight.” Danzig went on. “They are not keeping you confined and if you wish to leave then they will not stop you. They are here to protect you from anything but also to give you a sense of security. For all I know it is months since you last slept in safety so I promise you, for tonight at least and as long as you choose to stay, my men will guard you.” He sighed. “I will not blame you if you leave, but I hope that you will stay. I, for one and I hope that others will agree with me, want a chance to make it up to you.”

He beckoned a Sergeant of his over and they consulted with Rickard, Chireadean and Kerrass. I was in no state to contribute.

Rickard came over after their short conference was over and just put his hand on my shoulder for a moment before moving off.

I was just lost to weeping tears of bitter and angry disappointment. Ariadne sat with me, her arm wrapped around my shoulders.

While I was calming down it turned out that the bastards had lost none of their enterprising spirit during their ordeal. Especially the youngster who felt like he had something to prove for not being with us. He led the remaining bastards off and found us some tents that were “lying around” as well as food and other supplies that must have been lying alongside the “neglected” items. And so a pavilion that was constructed before our very eyes. After that, some fires were lit and food started to be prepared all with the blissful ignorance of the soldiers of Kreve who steadfastly faced outwards.

Danzig went off to the castle to kick some ass and to denounce the people that were plotting against us and to tell the Priestess of Melitele exactly where I was. She turned up in a cloud of herbal smoke and anger. Anger at me, anger at Sam and everyone else for being fucking stupid. She and Ariadne clearly knew each other and had formed some kind of feminine alliance against stupid people, which seemed to include everyone except them. I was told to drink another potion and get some sleep.

Ariadne embraced me again before departing with a kiss on the forehead. “I promised your sister that I would let her know when anything turned up. Then I need to see to my own duties.”

“Don't tell me that you're part of the Redanian or church forces here are you?”

She laughed. A sound that was better than any tonic or potion. “No. I will tell you of it sometime. You and Kerrass as I think you both need to hear it. But I have tarried to long. She looked around and tackled the nearest armed person which turned out to be Carys, the “angry” Elven woman who was busy cleaning and oiling her new bow. Ariadne and she exchanged introductions before Ariadne asked her to watch me and that if I moved anywhere other than where the Melitele priestess told me to, then Carys had permission to shoot me. The Elven woman gave a feral grin and stared me straight in the eyes as she strung her bow while Ariadne summoned a transport gate and stepped through it.

I was given some hot stew which must have been laced with something as I promptly fell asleep. Only to be woken up by an angry Emma.

“Why do men always have to be stubborn?” She was complaining to Laurelen who was sat nearby. I blinked a few times, trying to remember where I was. The sky was considerably more stripy than I remembered it being and this caused me some puzzlement until I realised that I had been moved into the Pavilion.

“I don't know Emma.” Laurelen said in the tones of someone who had answered the same question several times and who's answer hadn't changed since the last time the question had been asked, three minutes ago. I felt lethargic and, if possible, more tired than when I had gone to sleep. I wondered if I could get away with pretending to remain asleep a little while longer.

Unfortunately, my body rebelled and I sneezed. Emma was next to my bed in an instant and knelt next to me indicating to my still rather sleepy body that, as well as having been moved to the pavilion, I had also been put into a bed.

Those sleeping drugs were powerful things and I wondered, and still do sometimes, whether I could get my hands on some more of them.

“Oh Freddie I was so worried.”

“I'm sorry for that Emma but....”

In a mirror to Ariadne's reaction she then switched to anger.

“And why were you so stupid?” She demanded.

“About which part?” I enquired, getting a snort out of Laurelen if nothing else.

“Emma, we were travelling through strange lands that we didn't know. There's not a great deal that we could do to protect ourselves from a mage. We did out best and....”

“That's not what I'm talking about.” She snapped.

“Then what?”

She stared at me in amazement. Eyes nearly boggling out of her skull. “Freddie, you're sick. You should be in the castle, in a bed, in a room with a fire, being properly looked after.”

I stared at her for a long time as a sick feeling began to spread through me.

“Oh no.” I moaned.

“Oh no, what?”

“You agree with Sam.”

“I don't agree with Sam. Except that in this case, you need to be in the castle where you can be properly looked after.”

“What about the Elves Emma?”

“What about them.” She raised an eyebrow at me as if these very words proved her point.

“Emma, they were going to turn the Elves away.”

“So?”

I stared at her some more. “Don't do this Emma.” I pleaded.

“Do what?”

“Emma, these people saved my life. I'm not going to turn my back on them.”

“They're Elves,” She protested. “I will agree that the churchmen are a bit extreme in their views but the soldiers have valid points. They're murderers and vagabonds.”

“Only because we drove them to it.” I snapped as I levered myself into a sitting position. My joints and limbs made popping noises that I wasn't sure they should be. “I can't speak for Elves as a whole but these Elves? That woman out there, the one guarding my door, was used as a sex slave by a lord where she was routinely raped because of her good looks. Her story is not unique either. Chireadean was part owner of an inn before the townsfolk ran him off for having the temerity to earn more money than the rest of them due to having a good site for his inn. We drove them to it. We forced them into living in the trees and to live off the charity of better people. We did this and they deserve better.”

I wondered if I would have said the same thing if our positions had been reversed. Would I have behaved the same way towards the Elves if I hadn't been subject to their qualities.

The answer, for those who are wondering, is yes. Yes I would.

“That's not the point.”

“Then what is the point Emma? What is it?” My pain and rage were spilling over again. It was not lost on me that Laurelen had put down the papers that she had been reading and was watching the situation carefully.

Emma breathed in and out for a moment, presumably in an effort to calm herself down. “It's Sam's castle and he can admit whoever he likes.”

“Then he should kick out the churchmen who insist on trying to burn Kerrass and I alive for heresy and make room for the Elves that have helped save his realm.”

“But they're Elves. Everyone knows that.....”

“What? Everyone knows what Emma?” I snapped. “Father taught us. He insisted on it. He taught us that the common folk contribute to our wealth and our privilege. He taught us to never look down on other folk because we were fortunate to have been born to a family with money. Why is it so different to look at Elves that way?”

“They're thieves and.....”

“Says who?” I was shouting and screaming and sobbing and crying, all at the same time. I felt like another piece of my world was being torn away from me. My rock, my moral centre was turning out to be a racist. “I bet,” I went on. “I bet that if you look into any case where an Elf was implicated in a crime, I bet that it will turn out to be because they were either innocent and therefore convenient. Or that they were driven to it. I bet you will find out that their children were beaten or that their wives were raped by some human who thought that he could get away with it because it was just an Elf. Then the authorities proved the rapist right so the Elf had to take matters into their own hands. That we stole everything from them and that, in fact, we are the thieves and....and the rapists and....”

“But they're Elves.” Emma was upset as well. Tears of her own frustration and distress were running down her cheeks as well.

I stared at her. I longed to apologise and to hug her and tell her that it was ok. But I had found my line somehow. A line that I wouldn't cross.

“You know what?” I said pushing myself out of bed to discover that I was naked. “Fuck this.” I started to hunt around for clothes. The fresh air hit my feverish body and I started to shiver. “Fuck this.”

“What are you doing?” Emma put her hand on my arm which I shook off angrily.

“I'm not staying here a moment longer. I can't make you leave so I'm going off instead.” Another bout of shaking struck me, combined with a spell of dizziness and I swayed.

“Don't be ridiculous.” Emma was trying to retake her position of big sisterly authority Let's just get you up to the castle and....”

“I'm not going to the castle Emma.” I roared. “I'm not going up there until Sam comes down here and apologises to each and every Elf here. I'm not going back there until those people who threw these HEROES are gone. I'm not going back there until.....” I staggered and fell down with a thump. Emma bent down to help. “Don't touch me.” I snarled. “Don't you fucking touch me.”

Someone, I later found out that it was Carys had fetched the Melitele Priestess when Emma and I had started shouting at each other. She came in.

“You're not going anywhere.” She told me, levering me back to bed. “You're going to do yourself more of a mischief if you keep going like this.”

“Can't you tell him to get back to the castle where he can....” Emma tried.

“Be silent,” The priestess snapped. “If you're not helping him then you should get out.” The older woman pursed her lips and frowned as she checked my temperature and peered into my eyes. “If I were you, I would go outside and talk to the people that you condemn to living in the woods as being “Just Elves”.” She reached into her satchel and pulled out a small phial which she made me drink from.

Emma rounded on Laurelen. “Aren't you going to help me?”

Laurelen blew her breath out. “No.” She said calmly.

“What?” Emma was incredulous.

“No, I'm not going to help you.”

“Why not? You're my wife. You're supposed to support me.”

Laurelen remained calm. Admirably so. “You get my support the same way that I get yours. When I agree with you or when I don't care either way. I love you Emma, with every fibre of my being but you and Sam are wrong on this and Freddie is right. What happened to these Elves was shameful. What happened to the Elves in general is shameful but these Elves in particular take the cake. We should be showering them with rewards, paying for their children's educations and elevating them to the nobility.”

I was being laid down again. Whatever the older Priestess had fed me was already having an effect and I could feel my head swimming

“I think that you forget sometimes Emma.” Laurelen went on. “I am a Sorceress. I remember things and know things that others like to forget. The human race on the continent stands on the shoulders of the Elder races, the Elves especially. Our greatest achievements are built using Elven knowledge. I am a Sorceress and a new member of the Lodge of Sorceresses. I am under no illusions. I am a member because the others know that your family is important and powerful and that they think I have some influence over you. Influence that I do not use, nor do I spy for the Lodge, just for the record.

“I am under no illusions. I am dwarfed in power and in skill among their number. The most powerful member of the Lodge is the Empress. Her skills and powers dwarf anything the rest of us can muster. If she took the time off from her other duties to concentrate on making those powers work for her then she would be truly terrifying. But after her come the two Elves. Francesca Findabair and Ida Emean Aep Sivney. Both of whom could burn me to a crisp without raising an eyebrow.

“After that comes the dragon and the vampire. Less powerful than the Elves to be sure but they make up for it in sheer technique. Ariadne is very kind in saying that I have taught her many things but the truth is that in the vast majority of cases, her knowledge and skill far outstrips mine in all areas but my own specialised fields. She has forgotten more about Alchemy than I ever knew and make no mistake, if I ever manage to arrange matters so that the two of us can produce a child, it will be because Ariadne made it possible.”

The Priestess was making me drink something else that made me cough, but I could tell that she was just as fascinated by this as I was.

“The most powerful women in magic on the continent and four of them are non-human, out of maybe twelve. There are women there who could give them a run for their money, Madams Yennefer, Vigo and Eilhart leap to mind. I think even Francesca would struggle with an angry Lady Eilhart to the face. And as with all things magical, preparation is key, but there is a reason that the non-humans were invited and it was not charity. It's because we need them and we can learn from them.

“Humanity misses that and in the future, if the Elves die out, we will be judged harshly for what we did to the Elves.” Laurelen stared at Emma for a long time, holding her gaze. “You and Samuel shame yourselves with your words and actions today.”

Emma sobbed and I heard the flap of canvas as she left the tent before Laurelen took a deep and shuddery breath. I was drifting towards sleep by that point but I fought to keep awake.

“I'm sorry,” I told Laurelen.

“Don't be. You should be proud of your actions today.”

“Maybe, but I won't be pleased if this has driven a wedge between you and Emma.”

She chuckled. “Nah,” she said coming into my eyeline. “She's just been worried about you is all. Not helped by the fact that she's also angry with Sam. She'll calm down and realise that you are right. It would not surprised me if she gave them all an offer of land and jobs on Coulthard lands before all is said and done. Get some rest Lord Frederick and I would remind you that you still need to report what you found at some point. Probably tomorrow though if I read things correctly.”

She pulled over a seat of some kind.

“Just....You are absolutely right Freddie, absolutely right and she will see it as well. It's something that I saw when Mages were catching it really hard. The vast majority of people are ok with mages. They are. But only as an intellectual concept. They are ok with Mages existing and doing that thing that they do. It's only a problem when they are confronted with the Mages and the magic up close that the fear comes back

“It's the small background evil that creeps in when you are not looking at them, or looking at the big evils. Emma would never have had anything against Elves. She would never have actively persecuted Elves. She would have even fought against injustices happening to them at the time, the problem comes in elevating them to our own level. To give them the same respect. To not.....I don't know what to say. She probably, and I don't know, I haven't talked to her about this but, she probably feels as though Elves should be grateful for the fact that she hasn't treated them shittily and she doesn't realise that that isn't enough.

“Nor does she see the parallels, which I do, between what was happening with the mages and what was, and is, happening with the Elves. The one she actively fought against, the other, she simply doesn't see other than to be glad that she isn't taking part. Your sister is not a bad person though and I don't want you to think that.”

“I know that. But it is no lie to say that I owe these people my life and what really gets to me is....when I first met them I said some pretty shitty things to Chireadean and he confronted me with them. Even after that, they came with us and fought and died and now I come back and am confronted with people that I love and respect behaving in exactly the same way that I would have done just two.....or is it three.....weeks ago. I'm angry at them because I'm angry at myself.”

She smiled. “Get some rest Freddie. I will handle your sister. Sam is a different problem and I'm not sure what to do about that. But you should rest now.”

But I was already drifting towards sleep.