He wasn’t wrong. My mood was not irretrievably destroyed, but at the same time, I was not feeling entirely brilliant about it. I love my brother very much and I dread the day when I realise that he has gone. Not least because I kind of think that he will just sink into himself. His body and things will carry on for a while and he will keep moving around, talking and the like, but I am increasingly worried that what will happen is that I will look up and realise that the man, the brother I love is simply not there anymore.

So I did retreat into myself for a while.

Fortunately, the love of some good friends and a magically enhanced sense of eroticism were not something that could be denied. I got into a small drunken debate with Guillaume and made some plans for the future with Ciri about ways that I could help her regarding the Witcher schools. I planned some things with Helfdan that I can now no longer remember and traded jesting insults with Sam, Chireadean, Hugh and all the rest.

By now, there were plenty of extremely beautiful women that were in the room with us draping themselves over the men that were there assembled. Not all of the men I noticed. It is easy for my sober brain to realise what was happening now but at the time I didn’t spot the pattern of who had a woman or two sat across their laps in that the married, or all but married men in the room had friendly attention, but little to no physical contact with the women in the room.

But first needed to come my ritual humiliation.

Kerrass called for silence and a clearing in the middle of the room appeared.

“Freddie.” He said gravely, the dire effect of his voice only slightly ruined by the ever so slight slur that had entered his voice and the bottle of apple spirits that swung from his fingers. “Freddie, it is time.”

Sam and Rickard appeared from nowhere and hauled me to my feet before dragging me across the floor and sitting me down in the chair. I didn’t fight too hard. I had been part dreading, part anticipating this moment and again, Ariadne’s spell activated and I felt the excitement shoot through me regarding what was about to happen. Made worse by the sounds of my friends and compatriots beginning to jeer and shout encouragement.

Like the ringmaster that he was, Kerrass held his hands up for silence which fell eventually.

“Now something needs to be said. Seriously, folks, I need to tell you something. Before we set out this morning, the lady Ariadne who is well aware of the character of the man that we are all celebrating. She took certain steps to ensure that none of his silly morals was going to get in the way of his having a good time tonight.”

There was some general laughter at my expense.

“Therefore.” Kerrass went on. “I am forced to take certain steps so that he enjoys the entire experience rather than… Letting things go too far.”

There was some more jeering. I felt a couple of strong sets of hands grab my hands and I was bound to the chair with bonds of velvet.

Just for a moment, I thought of Sansum but then the spell triggered again as I realised the softness of the bonds meant an entirely different kind of torture and just as suddenly as the image came, it fled again.

“But I also urge you not to think too badly of him.” Kerrass went on. “Freddie’s self-control is powerful, but he is not without limits and those limits have been substantially reduced tonight. So do not think too harshly of him.”

There was some more laughter and some whistling.

I saw him give a signal and the lights in the room dimmed and we all fell into silence. A woman came, she was tall, and blonde and wore a mask while she wore an elaborate green dress.

And then she started to dance, accompanied by some music that I think Evran was involved in, I couldn’t be sure because the woman was mesmerising. I couldn’t take my eyes off her and even more than that, I didn’t really want to either. The knowledge that I didn’t have to, ran down my spine and right into my groin. She danced in a way that I had never seen before and I do not think that I have the words to describe it here. She danced towards me, getting closer and closer as she did with every movement that she made. And as she got closer, the less and less clothes that she seemed to have on. She had blue eyes that seemed to draw me in so that although I was aware of her beauty and her, almost flawless, physical form I was drawn in by those eyes. I could only admire the rest of her when her movements took her eyes away from mine.

The cliche is that it was over too soon and although that is true, it also felt as though the dance lasted for years. Beautiful was not the word for it. I don’t know where Kerrass, or the Madame found her, but she was neither lewd with her movements, nor was she shy. There was amusement in her eyes. She knew exactly what she was doing and knew exactly what effect she was having on me. There was also a certain curiosity in the depths of those eyes as well as a hint of enormous promise.

By some artistry that I didn’t understand and don’t really want to, she ended up almost astride me. Just an inch or two from sitting in my lap, but still not touching me. Then she leaned forwards and whispered breathily in my ear.

“I will be waiting for you.” She told me. I could hear the smile in her voice and the sheer erotic promise in her voice was something that I had not felt since I had slept with a Succubus. But what the Succubus did with magic and being, this woman did with skill and artistry.

She climbed off me and bowed to the rest of the audience and left with a wave to everyone else and wink at me through the white and gold domino mask that she was still wearing.

I watched her go and it was with a sigh that I felt the tension in the room dissipate.

“Fuck me,” Someone muttered.

“No thanks.” I’m confident that this was Ciri. “You’re not my type.”

The laughter that followed allowed that erotic tension to leave the room fully.

Kerrass came back to the stage and bent behind me to undo my bonds.

“Did me proud Freddie,” He whispered as he did so. “I know that our game is long over and that you won. But you still did me proud.”

I just sat there, still dazed with everything that I had seen and felt.

Kerrass had to help me back to a seat at the edge of the room.

“Gentlemen and ladies.” He addressed us all as he walked back towards the focal point of the room. “It is with that show that I declare my duty as best man done for the evening. From here, I will take up my duties of generalised support that the groom will need up to and including on the wedding day itself. But for tonight, I deem my task completed.”

There was some generalised moaning before Kerrass laughed and raised his hands in denial.

“But that doesn’t mean that the night is over.” He told us all. “I will now hand you over to the good Madame of the house.” He gestured and bowed to the lady that took the floor.

The Madame of the Passiflora is a legend in her own lifetime. I know that she’s not the owner of the building but I am aware that she is famous for her gifts and skills in running the place.

“Thank you Master Kerrass.” She bowed. She never curtseys, she always bows. “And I must say that it is an honour to serve such dignified and noble guests. I hope that the entertainment so far this evening has been satisfactory.

My friends and I roared our approval which she took with a smile.

“Good.” She said. “And now I must tell you that the building itself is paid for and booked until two of the clock tomorrow afternoon according to the cathedral bell. So you are welcome to stay, or to go, whenever you wish up until that point. You may stay longer than that if you wish but that is when I will start charging you.”

She said it with a smile and I wasn’t the only one that laughed.

“Further to this, the ladies that are provided here are also paid for in advance. However, I must add that we are a house of consent, and if the lady decides that you are not for her, We expect her word to be final.”

There was some murmuring of agreement to that.

“Further to this, however, although some of you are known to me, some of you I only know through the intelligence gathered by Master Kerrass. Therefore for some of you, I have been unable to tailor your experience this evening. So for you, please partake where you will. But for others of you, including the guest of honour, I have special entertainments that I will address directly. But for now, I bid the musicians to play and for wine to be served. Enjoy yourselves, gentlemen.” And she bowed and as she did so, the music struck up again.

She came to me first and approached.

“I have it on good record that you will want to enjoy the party a little longer.” She told me. “So when you are ready to leave, simply speak to one of the people serving the drinks or the food,” She gestured so that I knew who she meant, “And they will take you to your room. I am also told to tell you that you may enjoy some of the coming displays.”

I laughed with her and demanded that she join us all for a drink or two. She agreed and the party kicked up a notch.

The number of ladies joining us seemed to increase, all of them wearing masks that seemed to go with the costumes that they were wearing. All of them were undeniably beautiful women but again, I noticed that they were only really using their most blatant sexual tricks on certain people. I couldn’t figure out the pattern and eventually gave up trying to spot it because I was already rather drunk and the libido spell that Ariadne had used on me was preventing some of my higher thinking functions.

I was left to wonder what the Madame meant by “displays” though.

And then abruptly, I understood and looked at some of the other women with curiosity and interest.

I had forgotten how tiny she was. A tiny little woman, impossibly slight and delicate. Since I had last seen her she had taken on the pale pink skin tone of a Skelligan rather than the pale, blue-white that she had when I first knew her. Her eyes were still impossibly dark and her hair might as well have been black, still long and straight in a way that simply cannot be conceived by anyone else without long periods sitting in front of a mirror with a comb, a brush and various hair care chemicals.

In this case, though, she was wearing an interesting gown that was tied together at the waist. She told me what the gown was called later but I cannot remember what it was now. Timobo, Timono… Something. Anyway, the way she wore it, even though I could see little to no actual flesh at all, it looked as though one sharp tug would bring the entire thing off. Her hair was, likewise, tied up in a display with a single stick. She wore a thin veil that did nothing to hide her eyes but the rest of her face was covered in a fan that was fluttering as she walked in.

It took me a while to recognise the Yukki-Onna, the Frost-Giant’s daughter as she walked up to Sigurd the Fury, her husband, where she snapped the fan shut and just tilted it towards him while looking down, pretending to be shy.

Sigurd, who I had not spoken much to throughout the day, to my shame, gazed at his wife in adoration before he abruptly seemed to realise that he could move and stood up, scooping his wife with one arm, to which she squealed in enjoyment.

“Sorry boys.” He said. “More important things to do.” He left at almost a flat run towards the private rooms. There was a lot of laughter in the company, especially amongst the Skelligans but I rather thought that Guillaume and Sam looked embarrassed.

A dawning suspicion started to come into my mind. I looked at the assembled ladies present. Many of them were courtesans employed by the Passiflora, some of them I even recognised from previous visits given that the Passiflora believes in quality, not quantity. But their clothes were decidedly more demure than they had been on my previous visits while still being more sexual than might be worn in the salons of the court. They were also considerably more… I don’t want to say upmarket, but they were definitely better made. These were the dresses that you could expect ladies to wear, rather than the erotic parodies of such fashions that Courtesans often wear.

Evran was sitting on the stage, playing away with a couple of the other musicians and I realised that there had been a tall, thin blonde that had been pouring his wine for a long time while she had been sitting watching him play.

I looked again and I saw Chireadean, face first into a large lady’s cleavage and I recognised her as Chireadean’s wife. He once told me that he likes his women to have a cleavage you can drown in and then I realised what was happening.

I was not the first to realise it as I certainly noticed that Svein was looking around expectantly, examining each new woman that came through the door before a small flash of disappointment crossed his face. Gregoire was also watching the door with a sly smile on his face, obviously also enjoying what was happening.

Then it became clear that there had been some thinking about who came out of the back of the Passiflora in which order. As there were some of those women that I would have recognised easily, which meant that the game would have been given away.

Hugh’s wife came out. She has a larger frame now than she did when we had known her as students. She was tied into her dress, looking like a million crowns and her eyes glittered with amusement and mischief as she snuck up on her husband and flirtatiously reached around and ran her hand across his chest. He, at first carefully removed the hand and turned to remove the hand politely with the words “I’m married” obviously forming on his lips before he realised that he was staring into the laughing eyes of his lovely wife in a corset. Before he laughed and kissed her soundly.

Yngvild, Svein’s wife, came out then. A large woman in body and spirit, easily recognisable by the braids in her hair and the way she spoke to her husband, yelling at him for being found in flagrant poses with ladies of the night. He responded to guard his honour automatically before he realised what his wife was wearing.

Her outfit was one of the more risque outfits that the assorted wives and partners that were showing up were wearing and by Flame, she wore it well proving that a body that can wear full armour well can also wear the most wonderous gowns. Kar was gaping at her openly despite the women that were sitting on either knee.

Dr Shani arrived, much to Rickard’s astonished delight. My friend had been feeling a little bit low as Shani had been called away on an emergency of some kind, which now obviously turned out to be false, and he had not been looking forward to returning to a cold bed. She came in, looking as amazing as only she could, wearing a strapless dress with a long skirt and obvious stockings. She was wearing a fox mask to go with her short, startlingly red hair. She hugged me first and wished me congratulations before kissing Rickard soundly with a whispered promise that I deliberately didn’t listen to and then she went off to chat with the others that she knew. Including, as it turns out, the Empress of Nilfgaard.

Rickard noticeably relaxed when that had happened.

I saw Kerrass sitting at the side of things, looking on proudly and I raised my glass to him in a toast at all the things that he had arranged.

Lady Vivan du Launfal arrived in the company of Lady Anne du Gorgon. A woman that I would have recognised in Sackcloth. The two of them were dressed in the style of Toussaint Courtesans and they looked amazing. Lady Vivian’s mask was that of a bird and as I looked over at Guillaume, I think it wasn’t till then that he realised what was happening.

For a clever, well-educated man, Sir Guillaume can be awfully stupid sometimes. But he looked over at his wife and saw her there. At first, he didn’t recognise her before he realised who she was giving the most iconic doubletake that I have seen on the face of a man that I have ever seen. Then his eyes hooded at the sight of what his wife was wearing, or not wearing as the case may be before he registered the mask and he just seemed to melt, rushing over to her and taking her in her arms to a general chorus of “aww” and laughter from the assembly.

Looking over at Gregoire, I knew that he, at least, had been well aware of the plan, and looking over at Anne, I realised that she was almost certainly one of Kerrass’ co-conspirators. She winked at me from behind her tiny, pointless, domino mask on a stick and I decided to have some fun at Gregoire’s expense.

I went over to her, pretending to be smitten as I declared her loudly and gravely, to be the most beautiful woman there and asked her how I could possibly persuade her to join me in one of the back rooms. She caught my mood almost immediately and flirted back at me with outrageous comments and laughter as most people caught onto the performance.

Unfortunately, or fortunately depending on your point of view. Gregoire saw through us both and declared that the lady had already been claimed and hauled her back to sit on his knee as he spoke with Thorvald on some subject.

There was a lot of laughter then and the evening began to have that feeling of coming to a point. Sigurd had already taken his wife off to the more private back area and Guillaume had followed shortly after with a more than willing Lady Vivian in tow.

The evening had become my favourite kind of party. All of my friends there, even the female friends which would have been unheard of without the little subterfuge and pretence. All of them sitting in a room, eating drinking, and laughing together. I saw Shani speaking with Hugh’s wife in the corner like the old friends that they were. I saw Ciri, Kerrass and Svein talking on some subject that I didn’t catch. I saw Sam discussing something important with Rickard while Chireadean sat nearby adding occasional comments before plunging his face back into the giggling cleavage of his wife.

Then Carys came. She wore… I suppose that it was technically a dress. Suspended from her shoulders by two, absurdly thin pieces of material, it was cut low with a slit that went to her naval and the skirt was short. How she moved in it without showing the room more than she wanted to, I will never know and I’m not sure that I want to. It would be like seeing behind the curtain at the stage magic show. Her hair was done and her mask was affixed firmly to her face. Her pointed ears blushed scarlet as she walked out, plainly terrified and shy while also being utterly determined.

Padraig, Rickard’s Sergeant, had been speaking with someone and had been another one of those men that had determinedly turned away all romantic advances from the women around him. One of the bastard’s tapped him on the shoulder and the huge Skelligan turned and his mouth fell open.

Then he dropped to his knees. This gesture and his delighted astonishment banished Carys’ shyness and fear as she walked over to her husband. With him being on his knees she had to bend slightly to kiss him before wrapping her arms around him, he picked her up to much cheering.

Given Cary’s history, that was an astonishing act of bravery. There are many things that I have been involved with or part of during my journeys but if one of them is that I have helped that lady banish some of her demons and find love, then I am a proud man.

That seemed to be the climax of the evening. Not a decided one or something that had been set out on purpose. But that was the big moment. After that, people started to drift out with their chosen partners. Guillaume and Vivian had left fairly quickly as I think she was a bit uncomfortable with some of the things that were happening. After that though, there was a delay as everyone enjoyed themselves. I know that Chireadean’s wife took the extremely drunk Elf off to bed with a laugh. It always mystifies me how that Elf, who is not a young guy and has owned several taverns now, is still so poor at holding his liquor.

After that, it became clear that Padraig and Carys could no longer keep their hands, or their eyes off each other and were informed that they needed to take it to a private room before someone tossed a bucket of water over them.

Things plateaued for a while after that and my memory of general circumstances starts to feel a little bit patchy.

I remember looking up at one point and realising that Ciri had left the room. I have no idea if she left in the company of someone, male or female, I just looked up at some point and realised that she wasn’t there anymore. I know that the Passiflora is more than capable of catering to men and women and employs people of both genders. We were surrounded by women but that doesn’t mean that she couldn’t have whispered discreetly into someone’s ear and made alternative arrangements for herself. But knowing Ciri a bit better now, especially after that long day and night, I am also aware that she enjoys the romantic company of men and women and that she was kind of looking forward to the “debauchery”. Now I admit that this was before any of us knew what Kerrass was referring to when he said that but even so.

I remember seeing Helfdan off and being surprised by his choice of partner. The theme of the evening, such as there was, was that people were going off with either their own partners should they already have one, or with people that seemed close to their partners. So I expected Helfdan to go off with one of the dancers or someone that might have been closer to the quick and athletic frame of the Queen of Skellige. But instead, he chose a tall, older, dark-skinned and darker-haired woman that towered over him and was half again as wide as he is. She wasn’t fat but she had a stature that dominated and he was very shyly holding her hand as he came to bid me a good evening.

The lady herself seemed as bemused as I was and gave the impression that she hadn’t expected to be chosen that night, least of all by someone as elevated as the Black Boar himself. But that didn’t change the fact that she gently took him with her and into the back rooms of the Passiflora. I was sitting near Svein at the time and he must have sensed my surprise. He had Yngvild sitting on his lap and they were passing a large goblet of wine backwards and forwards between each other, spilling half of it down each other and making comments about having to lick it off each other later.

I digress.

“I have found it easier.” He commented as she giggled at him. “To just never be surprised by his choices when it comes to this kind of thing.”

“I am just surprised is all,” I commented.

He laughed. “My Lord Helfdan is a rare man on so many levels.”

“Yes, I remember.” I had heard this speech before and wanted to extract myself. Svein had the feeling of a man who was launching into an often repeated speech about Helfdan’s romantic choices. I certainly seem to have recalled being told something similar when we had travelled together. But Svein was in full flow, with plenty of beer in him, full of good food and the woman that he loves sitting on his lap looking, in his words, ravishable.

She told him that he could try if he likes and there was a distinct challenge on her face.

“Most of us men have preferences.” He told me. “We fall in love with the woman but we are attracted to the type.”

“Oh?” I wondered, realising that I was trapped, trying to catch the eye of a serving person.

“You, for instance, like your women around your own height. A little taller or a little shorter doesn’t matter which but a tall woman or a really small woman would never interest you.”

“I agree.” I said, “Never gone for dwarven women myself.”

Yngvild laughed. I think she was much less drunk than her husband and was enjoying watching his interplay with other people.

I really must make an effort to get to know her better.

“You like them slim but with something to hang onto,” Svein wasn’t done, “You like long hair which is perfectly sensible in my opinion. And you like them to tend towards the warrior build.”

“How about you?” I wondered.

Yngvild turned to look at her husband with an expression of interest.

“I like women that look as though they can kick my ass.” He replied easily.

Yngvild nodded in agreement before her eyes narrowed.

“Could?” She wondered. “I would,”

Svein either pretended not to hear her or ignored her.

“Helfdan… He’s not a virgin and I know more than one woman that has come out of the room that they’ve shared walking with a limp and a satisfied smile. But he sees the woman, not the body.”

Yngvild nodded in agreement.

“Rare man that,” Svein said. “Not many can separate the one from the other. Goddess but I love that man.”

His wife and I both agreed with him as I topped up the cup that they were sharing.

I spent some time with Hugh, Evran and their wives. Shani came to join us bringing Rickard with her and he just sat there, also a little drunker than the women were as Shani was showing him off and talking about how amazing he was.

Rickard mostly just kind of sat there, looking gently bewildered at the fact that the woman that he loved was showing her off to her friends.

But it was at this point that I saw Kerrass relaxing with one of the other workers. Rickard and I were sat together passing a bottle back and forwards while Hugh, who has lost his tolerance somewhere, dozed gently and Evran was plucking at his harp while the women were gossipping.

Rickard was watching more than I was and he noticed Kerrass with a smallish blonde woman that was sitting with him. They were stretched out on a couch while Kerrass watched the assembly with a gentle smile on his face while he stroked the woman that was half next to him, half on him. She was resting her head on his shoulder while he had his arm around her, occasionally looking up to check on him.

Even despite the mask that she still wore, she was astonishingly beautiful.

“Is that who I think it is?” Rickard asked me.

“What who?” I saw who he was pointing at. “That depends,” I commented. “Who do you think it is?”

“Is that Sleeping Beauty?”

I laughed at him, a bit harsher than I meant to and he glared at me.

“Answer me this,” I told him. “Who is the most beautiful woman in the room right now.”

“Well, obviously Shani.” He replied promptly and without subterfuge. She heard and laughed delightedly. “But other than that, they all have different qualities. Svein’s wife is a powerful, beautiful woman but I would find her a bit intimidating. The Empress is very beautiful and is made more so by the scar and…”

“I’ll stop you there,” I told him. Kerrass had scooped up the blonde who wrapped her arms around his neck and they kissed before Kerrass carried her out of the room.

“If that was Sleeping Beauty.” I went on, “Then there would be no doubt in your mind. Absolutely none, as to who the most beautiful woman in the room was.”

Rickard stared at me for a long time. As did Shani and Hugh’s wife who I still sometimes feel a pang for and I returned all of their gazes. Evran’s wife scoffed, good-naturedly to be sure but…

“And not a single person,” I went on, “including the ladies who are all beautiful in their own right, would deny it.”

“You’re exaggerating.” Hugh’s wife, Donna said.

I shook my head. “Not even slightly.”

Shani looked thoughtful. “That poor girl.” She whispered.

The evening went on.

Abruptly, Svein decided that he had had enough and tossed his wife over her shoulder in the stereotypical pose of the Skelligan raider carrying off his plunder. She protested and struggled but even I, who doesn’t know her very well, could tell that she was actually rather delighted at this turn of events. Donna declared that it was time to take Hugh off to bed and the two of them laughed and hugged me good night.

“I never apologised to you,” Donna told me.

“What?”

“I knew that I was breaking your heart when I went with Hugh.” She told me. “I knew it but…”

It is the oldest wound that hurt the longest.

I took a deep breath and decided to be the bigger man.

“You were right for each other,” I told her. “Do not be sorry. It made me who I am today. I love Ariadne and I have no regrets…” I considered. “Well, not about that anyway.”

She laughed, as I had intended her to. Hugh hugged me as well and whispered a thank you in my ear. I have no idea what he was referring to but I took it anyway.

Sam left with a dark-haired girl. She had long hair that fell to just above her backside. She was tiny with a freckled face and she had a carriage and an attitude about the way she moved that lifted her into being truly beautiful.

“This was a good day,” he told me as he held a giggling and playfully squirming girl against himself. “You know that you now have a high bar to set when it comes to my wedding day?”

“I will remember,” I told him and he, like Svein, picked the squealing girl up and carried her off. Again though, she wasn’t squirming too much or in such a way that there was a danger that she would fall.

I finally decided that it was time for me to leave when Gregoire and Anne came to say good night.

“Have you had a good night?” Gregoire asked.

I smiled at the huge man who, much to my surprise was looking nervous as Anne waited for him.

“There is only one day that might beat it,” I told him. “Time will tell of course, but I think that today is going to count as being among the best days of my life.”

He nodded, looking surprisingly relieved.

“I was worried that I might not be welcome.” He told me.

“In the name of the Flame why?”

He suddenly looked very young. “I am not used to having…” He sighed. Turns out that Gregoire is an emotional drunk. “I am not used to having close friends. Guillaume is one, but having another?” A tear ran down his face and I hugged him. What else was I going to do?

He pulled back.

“I owe you a lot, Lord Frederick.” He told me. “You gave me the courage to finally…” He looked over at Anne who was looking radiant.

“At most I gave you a little push,” I told him. “But you had to walk the walk and do as you did.”

He nodded. “I will look forward to seeing you marry the love of your life.” He told me before walking off and trading places with his wife. They reached out towards each other and touched briefly.

“Did you have a good night?” Anne asked me.

“I did,” I told her. I was having to focus on my breathing. Ariadne had chosen this woman for me once and had chosen well. It was time for me to find the room that was promised to me.

“Good.” She looked a little smug. “I am glad.”

“You helped Kerrass with this?” Suspicion crept into my mind and she laughed.

“I did. Kerrass knew that you wouldn’t want to make your friends feel uncomfortable but he also knew that it wouldn’t be a stag do without certain debauchery. He came to ask me for advice on how to set it all up and I told him to go to Ariadne and we arranged it all between the three of us. I had to show all the women what to wear and how to dress and things for this kind of party as many of them were a bit too stuffy for it.”

She laughed at a couple of memories. “Poor Vivienne.” She said, “But I think it was worth it. That elf was surprisingly knowledgeable about these things while being very shy about her own dress.”

“Did she tell you her past?” I wondered.

“No?”

“Then I will not ruin your night,” I told her. “Did you have a good time?”

She laughed in delight. “I did, I met many people that I would not have met otherwise and made many more friends in circles that I would never have dreamed possible. I made friends with a woman from another plane of reality, whatever that means, and I am now firm friends with a Skelligan battle maiden. Who would have thought it?” She cackled in delight. “Also? if I have anything to say about the matter,” She looked over at her husband who was fidgeting shyly. “My night is not yet over.”

I laughed with her and we hugged.

“Thank you.” She whispered in my ear. “Thank you for everything.”

“And thank you for the same,” I told her.

She looked at me oddly for a couple of long heartbeats before she took her husband by the hand and the two of them walked to the back of the building.

I stood after that for a long moment as I looked at the remaining company. There were not many of them now, the inveterate drinkers and those people that were gossiping like the old friends. Thorvald and Jerome sat and played dice while they discussed philosophical questions that neither of them would have been able to discuss otherwise. Rickard and Evran were chatting amiably while their ladies had not lessened up gossiping and I wondered how long it would be before the surface tension of that would dissolve and they would depart. I could see that one of the bastards that I couldn’t identify had fallen asleep on the bosom of a particularly endowed lady of the night and that she was stroking his hair. The image looked so maternal that I found it touching.

I realised that the night was over for me then as I stood and looked at the lot of them. I felt a sense of pride and fondness for the people that were still here, and fondness for those people that had left. They say that family are the people that you are born with and your friends are the family that you choose. I had never felt that that was particularly true, but here I was. I loved those men and those women and I swore to myself that I would never be apart from any of them. That they, and I would be friends from now until one or other of us was no longer alive.

I bid Rickard and my old college friends good night while whispering to Shani that she should take her man to bed and that she was leaving him out. She looked guilty for a moment before she looked over at Rickard who was watching her in plain adoration before she blushed.

Shani, on one hand, the most worldly and the most chaste woman that I know, blushed. Will wonders never cease?

The others all promised me taht I would see them in the morning as I was suddenly nervous that I wouldn’t see them again but they reassured me to the contrary.

Jerome and Thorvald barely looked up as I bid them good night and I laughed as they took up a different argument as I went.

I walked to one of the servants that were standing at one of the doors waiting to see if any of us needed anything else to drink and I told them that I was done for the night. They nodded and put the jug of wine that they were carrying down on a nearby table before she beckoned me to follow. I was led through a long corridor of rooms, wood-panelled and well-lit by lanterns and torches. It smelled of flowers and that, accompanied by the sounds that came from many of the doors on either side, gave the dim light a romantic and secretive air. I was never able to sneak around into a lover's bedroom while I stayed with their family but that was what I felt like. At the end of a corridor, I came to some stairs and I was led up them as well. I heard some people talking in one room and another room which had very loud and obvious sounds of female pleasure coming from it. I felt myself smile and wished whoever it was on the other side of that door luck.

I was led to another flight of stairs which we climbed. There were two doors at the top of it and I was pushed over to the left. The servant knocked on the door and a woman called from inside for us to enter.

I did as I was told.

To say that I entered a luxurious room that seemed tailor-made for love would be an understatement. It was almost too much for me to take in with my already love, sex and attraction-addled brain. Some of it can be laid at the feet of Ariadne’s spell but some of it was almost certainly about what had been going on around me all night. There is only so much that a man can do while he is surrounded by all of his friends being affectionate and loving with each other, some of whom you have been more than attracted to yourself.

Inside there was a large table which had various light refreshments on it. I saw Grapes, cheeses and small biscuits as well as some other berrys and things. There was a roaring fire with a rug placed in front of it. Several large chairs that, would not have taken too much imagination to be able to use sexually were placed to take advantage of it. Sitting in one of them was the blonde dancer who was now wrapped in a robe that, despite being opaque, clung to her body in suggestive ways. As I walked in she was placing a bookmark in a volume that she set aside.

There was a large, comfortable-looking bed and rising from it, a little sleepily but also seductively was a red-headed woman that stretched in a way that shot straight past my brain and into something primal deep inside me.

I stood in the doorway in a state of shock while the redhead climbed off the bed in a way that I have never, ever seen anyone climb out of bed. Most people, including me, do so in a dazed kind, sleep-addled stupor. That she did it gracefully and sexually, made the back, scholarly, part of my brain decide that she must be another kind of dancer. The pair of them stood in front of me, smiling with amusement, welcome and a little bit of mischief.

They knew exactly what they were doing.

“Welcome,” The redhead said. “Before we start we are bid to pour you a drink.” She went over to the table and poured water and wine into three cups, one of which she handed to me and the other she passed to the blonde before she took the third for herself.

“And then,” said the blonde, pulling a sealed scroll from the table. “We are told to give you this message.”

I took the scroll, a little numbly from her hand. How does a woman make passing you a message suggestive in some way? I don’t understand it but she managed it.

I examined the seal, red wax with the sigil of a spider on it and felt myself smile before I broke the seal.

“Freddie,” it said.

“A lot of work has been done by several people to arrange your evening. I am privileged to be one of them. Just in case you have forgotten what we spoke about this morning. Not only am I happy for you to partake, but again, I remind you that we are not married yet. Not only am I willing, but I was also actively involved in arranging this and I mean to take full advantage of our unmarried status when my time comes. Anne and I chose these two women carefully. I promised them both that you would ensure their pleasure and that you would make the evening fulfilling for them, as well as for yourself.

I trust that you will not make a liar out of me.

Yours, in just a few short days even.

Ariadne.

PS: I liked the redhead.”

I smiled at the imagery that the letter conjured in my head, even as emotion and arousal flooded my system. I rolled the paper up and placed it in one of my pouches.

“So…” The Blonde began. “Several people that we have met, have boasted of your capabilities.”

The redhead laughed in amused delight at the challenge in the blonde’s voice.

“Where would you like to start?” The Blonde put her hands on her hips in an attitude of challenge.

Support creative writers by reading their stories on Royal Road, not stolen versions.

I do not mind admitting that I looked both of them up and down before I took a good couple of gulps of wine.

“I think.” I told her, “I think I would like you to finish your dance.” I told her.

She laughed in delight as the redhead took me by the hand and led me to one of the chairs.

I am fortunate in my life to have known several nights of unbridled eroticism. Nights where I learned the differences between making love and having sex and what those differences were. Sometimes even with the same partner.

I have also written, often about the great love and affection that I have for those people that work in the oldest profession. It cannot be an easy job and I can easily imagine how that line of work could be horrific, dangerous and distasteful. There is much to be said about the fact that no one, not one person, no-one has ever woken up their parents to tell them that they want to be a sex worker when they grow up. People are driven to that work.

But I have found genuine kindness in that world. I have known affection, respect and… joy there. And if the future version of me, or whoever is reading this, will take anything from that, then I would tell people to take that in kind.

That night was purely erotic. There was no love because that needed something that wasn’t there. Nor was it just sex because it lasted far longer than sex does even while sex was involved.

They would both admit that they too, with their consent, had had spells cast upon them and that there were “herbs” in the wine that the Blonde had brought with her given that she came from Nilfgaard originally.

It would seem that no expense was spared.

These things were enhancers and heighteners.

The closest in my experience was a night with Saffron. After Saffron’s and my immediate hunger for each other had been depleted, but her spell on us both was driving us, there came a night where was just spent time driving each other to higher and higher heights of pleasure and… well… ecstasy. She taught me things in that little hut on the hillside and I was a more than willing student. I used all of those lessons and much more on those two wonderful women, the redhead and the blonde.

They never told me their names. They refused and told me that if I ever found them in another house of pleasure again, they would refuse me as this night was supposed to be special to me, and to them. They made me call the redhead Ruby and the Blonde made me call her Grace.

It was a special night, one which I cannot imagine will be equalled again in my experience although Ruby let slip that the reason why a red-head and a blonde were chosen was that Ariadne had decided that I wouldn’t be allowed a brunette as she wanted to coral that image in my head.

We loved each other, dozed, loved and moved with each other all night and in the morning, they walked me down to the entrance where my friends were waiting for me. They kissed me farewell and went back inside before I turned back to the cheers and well wishes of my friends.

And just as we all came together, we started to drift apart.

We all trooped down to the Rosemary & Thyme for breakfast and some rest. Ciri left almost immediately, hugging various people farewell before hugging Kerrass and me with a promise to see us both soon. Then she stepped out the back where she presumably vanished in a flash of green light.

Hugh, Evran and their wives stayed for something to eat and then left. Shani went with them as she needed to get back to Oxenfurt to deal with the never-ending queue of patients that were waiting for her.

It was made clear to me that I would be staying in Novigrad overnight to rest up, something for which I was grateful given that I was increasingly exhausted.

The Skelligan contingent loudly bade us farewell to meet Dreng at the docks for the late afternoon tide. The remaining Bastards, Sam and the Knights from Toussaint would be travelling back with us to Oxenfurt where Gregoire and Guillaume would travel with Vivienne and Anne back to Vizima where they would rejoin the Imperial party.

I retreated to my room for a nap in the afternoon and rose for a bath and an evening meal where I found Ariadne waiting for me. We embraced fiercely and told each other how much we loved each other many times. She asked if I had had a good day and I told her that I had with much joy before she grinned slyly and asked if I had a good night.

I told her that it had been the best night of my life and at the time, I absolutely meant it although given some time I wonder if that was the immediacy of the memory. Time will tell though.

She told me that my response was fascinating before she leaned close and whispered into my ear.

“In just a few days,” She said, “I will make that night seem dull and boring in comparison.”

Then she made me sit there and join my remaining friends for a meal before she returned to… wherever she was supposed to be going that night.

The following couple of days, we travelled back to Oxenfurt. I may have complained once or twice about how we could have been teleported back to Oxenfurt but Kerrass just laughed at me. We bade farewell to the Knights and their brides before we turned for home and as I watched them go, I realised that that had been my stag party and I wept with the bittersweetness of it. Bitter because it was over but sweet because of the love and joy that I had felt.

Ariadne has promised me that she will do her very best to ensure that that long weekend spent in the company of the people that I love, will happen again and that she aims to surpass it in the future.

I cannot see how she will manage that. I owe Kerrass so often and for so much. I remain hopeful that one day, I will be able to thank him properly by performing the same duty for him. Sam and Rickard are on our side and Ariadne has promised to help as we work on him, and Sleeping Beauty, before we are done.

Entry 144

I am very hungover this morning. Not just from the alcohol that I have consumed over the last few days, but also from an emotional hangover. I have felt and done so much over the last week or so that it leaves me reeling a little bit. I know that, traditionally, the stag and hen parties… why those animal representatives I wonder?... I know that it is traditional that they all come the day or so before the wedding itself but I cannot imagine how that would be a good idea. I am so exhausted now in body, heart and mind that the thought of a wedding on top of all of that is just… I cannot even conceive of how that would be done.

All that I could do today is to take this diary out into the sunshine and work on it with a bottle of heavily watered wine next to me, and a small package of cheese next to that and that is how I intend to stay for some time. I know that Emma is concerned about me and has sent a revolving queue of people to come out and check on me to make sure that I am ok before becoming reassured that I was found and just a little bit… washed out.

So far an embarrassed Sam, an amused Kerrass, a resigned Rickard, a dutiful Mark and a Laurelen who freely admitted that she knew exactly what was going on in my head and had told Emma that. But Emma could not be turned aside from her concerns.

I don’t mind. I am enjoying just sitting here in the shade while the castle moves around me, doing all of the things that the castles do when they are gearing up for something big and important while I just rest.

The wedding preparations are now at the stage where the wedding just needs to happen now. To my eye, things are as prepared as they are going to be. I know that people like Emma and the people doing the organisation will always find something to quibble over and something to adjust to try and find the optimum arrangements for this and that, but we’re as ready as we can be now. The Imperial Inspectors will be coming a few days vefore the Empress herself is due to arrive so… things are on hold there.

And I cannot help but notice the storm clouds gathering out to the West over to the sea. The promised storm is coming now and I can almost feel it building in the air. I am not the most experienced weather watcher that I know but even I can see that the storm is coming and that it’s going to be incredible to see.

As I sit here, I don’t know whether to pray that the weather will blow over and that nothing will change, that in just under a week, Ariadne will be my wife and we can be… wherever the fuck we want to be or whether or not I want the weather to break so that we can enjoy the day and the night without swimming in our own sweat.

Well… my own sweat. I’m not entirely convinced that Ariadne sweats. I’m pretty sure that she can, I just wonder if she occasionally forgets.

The women of the castle are gearing up for the ladies' version of the stag do. I have no idea what is involved in that and given everything that we did in mine, I doubt that I would have room to complain about it if they told me that a dozen strapping men were going to turn up in Ariadne’s bed chamber and…

I don’t want to think about that.

The point is that I don’t think I could object if that’s what they end up doing. I don’t think it’s entirely likely but knowing that Lady Maleficent is a significant part of the organisation at that particular party has Emma in particular feeling quite nervous. I told her that she doesn’t need to worry as Maleficent and Ariadne are both known to play for both teams as it suits their tastes, that Laurelen is going as well and that Lady Eilhart is known… statistically speaking, to generally prefer women in that I know of only one confirmed male that she has taken to her chamber. So it might not be a dozen strapping men but it might be a dozen strapping women.

The fact that my sister looked contemplative at these suggestions was… telling.

In the end, though, I decided that it might be a dozen strapping people of both sexes and wandered off before anything could be said further.

I understand that the plan is that the ladies will all arrive at Coulthard castle before there will be some kind of teleporting round-robin where they will pick up various people including the Duchess of Angraal and some others before they will all go… somewhere.

I have no idea where and I’m not entirely sure that I want to know.

Right now, I just want to sit here and snooze. In fact, I think I am going to set aside my diary and do precisely that.

-

Entry 145

It is now all but certain that the weather is going to break before the Empress departs from Vizima. As I sit in my chosen study and look out of the window, I can see people scurrying this way and that way working to secure the tents and pavilions. Things are moving into storage areas so that they can all be protected from the coming storm. There is an almost impossible pressure to the air now to the point that significant numbers of the castle are struggling with debilitating headaches. Captain Froggart is the worst affected by this and has stepped aside a little while we wait for things to pass.

As I write this, the original date for the wedding itself is six days out. The Autumnal Equinox. The weather will break either tomorrow or at the latest the day after. The Imperial party wasn’t intending to leave Vizima until four days before the wedding and they will have better weather watchers than me own nose for the weather. The deal is done. The wedding will be delayed until after the storm has passed.

I am alright. I didn’t think I would be but I am alright. The realisation hit me this morning and I will admit to having a little weep of disappointment before I contacted Ariadne who was thinking the same thing. We wept together for a little while and then we… just got on with things.

But now I am alright. It means that I won’t be worried about sweating through my special day and worrying about having to peel my wedding clothes off myself when it is time to go to bed. It will mean that we will be able to breathe and not struggle with the heat. I am… it is the right thing to happen.

I am alright. I might not be later, or tomorrow, the day after that, the ladies will be off having their own forms of debauchery and Sam, Kerrass, Rickard and I intend to get drunk together while Mark looks after us all and makes sure that we don’t get out of hand.

Heh.

-

Entry 146

Lady Maleficent is unhappy. She arrived today to, in her words, “stretch her wings” and came to talk to me.

“To think that I nearly ate you.” Was her opening gambit.

“To be fair,” I replied. “You hurled me into a ruined tower and picked me up by the throat so that I nearly choked to death.”

“Yes.” She perked up for a moment. “Yes, I did do that didn’t I.”

I said nothing to that.

“Are you alright?” I asked after a while.

“Funny,” She said after a while. “I was going to ask you the same thing.”

“Why?”

She considered. “I don’t know, it just seems as though that’s the kind of thing that you’re supposed to say at this juncture.”

I stared at her for a long moment before sitting in a nearby chair.

“You know something? For an older, almost ancient and powerful dragon. You are bad at telling me what you are thinking.”

She stared at me, her mouth hanging open in horror and rage.

“Or feeling,” I suggested.

Her mouth snapped shut for a moment before the rage started to come back into her expression.

“If you…” She hissed. “If you hurt her. If you harm her or break her or…”

I held my hand up to stop her and much to my astonishment, it worked.

“Is this the, ‘If you hurt my friend, I’m gonna kill you speech?” I wondered as innocently and as neutrally as I could manage.

Her rage vanished. In every way that Ariadne sometimes struggles to exhibit emotion, I have found that Maleficent has no difficulty at all in demonstrating exactly how she is feeling at any given time.

She turned away.

“Just in case it hasn’t been said before,” I began carefully. “Or just in case it needs saying again to you. I can make no promises about the future. I can promise that I will do my best to make her as happy as I can. I will work at it as much as I am able, but I cannot promise much more than that. I love that woman, fangs and all and I am just as afraid, if not more so, that she will break my heart as you are afraid of me breaking hers.”

“I know…” She said. “It’s just that…”

“I also…” I interrupted. “Just want to put it into your mind as to how she would feel if any of my friends or family gave that speech to her.”

“Such a thought would be laughable.” The scorn dripped off her words.

“Would it?” I tried to put some teeth into my voice. “My friend is a Witcher and my adopted sister is the lady of Time and Space. I am friends with two, no… three members of the Lodge of Sorceresses. And as you are demonstrating, threats do not listen to rational thought.”

She shut up for a long moment after that.

“She would be furious and offended.” She told me.

“Yes, she would.” I agreed.

“It’s just…”

I stared at her for a moment as she shifted uncomfortably, looking at me sidelong.

Then I recognised it or rather thought I did.

“Holy Flame,” I breathed. “Are you jealous?”

“She sat down on the floor and put her head in her hands.

“I’m sorry.” She sobbed.

I took a deep breath. I wanted to be angry. But I was also aware that Ariadne and Maleficent were old friends and that alienating Maleficent before the wedding day was not… politic.

“Look.” I began carefully. “I know that you and she have been lovers in the past and I know, believe me I know how wonderful she is but… She has chosen…”

She laughed at me.

“I’m not jealous of you being able to have her. I’m jealous of her having…” Her mouth snapped shut and she clapped a hand over her mouth.

“Wait, what?” I finally managed.

Then she was on her feet and striding backwards and forwards while swearing in a language that I’m pretty sure the human throat cannot form.

“She and I have hated each other for centuries. We were rivals at a time before either of us even dreamed of having two legs when four or eight seemed far more logical. I had wings and she had fangs. I could breathe fire and her bite was death. Our magic warred across the heavens and… Powers but it was glorious. I hated her then and she hated me and our rivalry is one which the Elves still tell stories about.

“And then she was imprisoned and I felt bereft. But now she is back and I missed her and we are friends and I have never seen her happier. She is not the woman she was. She is better, more intelligent, more charming, funnier, smarter, more powerful even. You did that. She loves you so much and I… I love… I am a dragon and people wonder why I hate these human shapes, but I cannot stop wearing them. By my rotten eggshell, I want to hurt her and the best way to do that is to take you from her. But I won’t because she is my friend. I look at you and I see why she loves you even while I detest the emotion and…

“Who would be human?” She laughed bitterly.

She paced for a moment and I watched, very aware that I was dealing with an upset dragon.

“I love her.” She said. “I hate her and you were the one that made her… That is what I am jealous of. I want you to come with me. Make me better in the same way that you made her better. Love me.”

I chose my next words very carefully.”

“I’m not going to do that,” I told her. “And you don’t want me to do it either.”

“No, I know.” She sighed. “But I want my own version of you. I want my Freddie, not hers. I want mine.”

I took a deep breath. I gauged that the worst had passed.

“He will come,” I told her. “Or she, or it or whatever you choose. They are there.”

She laughed. “I’m a dragon. I am not good at being patient.”

“Sam is still single.” I pointed out. More to lighten the tone than anything else.

“Yes.” She agreed, “but there is a reason for that.”

“Oh?”

She shook her head. “He wouldn’t want someone like me. Not like me, not a strong woman. If he wants a woman at all he wants someone biddable to… He is a very old-fashioned man your brother. He wants the marriage I am sure but he does not want the wife and sooner or later, every woman that goes near him realises that.”

She sighed.

“I’m sorry.” She said carefully. “I feel like I am losing my best friend and my greatest rival at the same time. I had hoped that Enid might take up some of the slack in that regard but she never comes out of her precious valley of Flowers anymore either.”

“You are not losing your friend,” I told her. “Marriage is not death. She will still be there and she will still be your friend if I have anything to say about it. The “lover” thing might need some discussion but at the same time, I would need to talk about it with Ariadne and… well… I could just be in the corner, quiet as a mouse, you would never know that I was there while you…” I leered with an exaggerated eyebrow.

She protested at my filthy human mind but she laughed as well making me feel better about it.

“No promises though,” I said.

She nodded.

“Please don’t tell her about this.” She asked me, not looking at my face.

“I’m sorry,” I told her. “But I’m definitely telling her. Honesty and trust go both ways.”

She nodded unhappily.

“You should tell her,” I told her. “Go and tell her now. Tell her that I sent you and then tell her everything.”

She looked at me out of the side of her eyes with the kind of suspicion that you see in cats when they think you are trying to steal their favourite toy.

“When did humans get so wise?” She demanded.

“Humans?” I shook my head. “No. Me, however? I have my moments.”

She nodded and just left. Walking out somewhere and vanishing in a flash of magic.

Later that evening Ariadne just sent a single phrase through our link.

“Thank you.” She said.

It still hasn’t started to rain

-

Entry 147

I am trying not to look too much into it.

The heavens have finally opened and the wind is picking up. I was outside as I often have been over the last few days, not for any particular reason but I enjoy being outside and I was listening to the wind pick up and watching our guests arriving. There is an area in the inner courtyard that Laurelen, Ariadne and a couple of others have arranged to be a permanent transport gate for incoming guests and I was watching as they all arrived. Kerrass has made himself scarce as apparently, Sorceresses make him nervous and I can absolutely understand why.

Ariadne arrived this morning along with Maleficent, the two of them walked arm in arm with their heads together laughing and giggling like old friends. They came with the delegation from Angraal, the Duke and his wife who will be staying from now until the wedding day itself. The Duchess is going to the hen party and the Duke will be joining us remaining men as we keep ourselves company. They were going to be here for the wedding anyway and were just deciding to have a bit of time away from things.

The party of them came through the gate and the first roll of Thunder happened in the distance.

I am trying, really hard not to read too much into it.

Emma received the Duke and Duchess along with Mark. Sam is training with his men because soon he won’t be able to and I am just staying out of the way.

Lady Metz arrived with Lady Merigold. The two of them stepped out of the portal looking insanely beautiful between them. I know neither woman particularly well but I daresay that they are both extremely beautiful women. They arrived before Lady Metz looked at the sky before making a face of disgust and the pair of them vanished indoors. According to legend, Lady Metz is a creature of comfort and dislikes being outside in the elements. She famously claimed that the dampness in the air makes her hair look all frizzy which seems to be considered a fate worse than death.

There was a delay before Lady Laux-Antille arrived which is the only one of the old Lodge of Sorceresses that I have not met at all. I only know her by reputation as being passionate regarding the education of the next generation of magic users and that it was she who spear-headed the recovery of the library of Saffron, Pula and Sally.

I look forward to meeting her and discussing that project which I understand is still ongoing. She arrived and pulled her travel cloak around her and hunched her shoulders as she fairly sprinted inside.

Lady Eilhart arrived next and I swear, I SWEAR that I’m not going to read too much into it but I’m also going to swear that this happened should anyone ask me in the future. The gate appeared, she stepped through and looked up at the sky just as the rain started to fall. It was one of those rains where you get a few fat droplets of warning before the downpour starts to happen. It was the kind of rain where puddles and pools of water form almost instantly.

She looked up, grimaced and then a shield of faint blue-white light appeared over her head which the water struck and started to run off. And as she did so, the lightning flashed and as she started to walk, the thunder boomed.

I swear that that is true and I promise. I PROMISE that I am not going to read too much into that.

I stayed where I was. I was well sheltered and wanted to see what happened next while I write in my diary. Besides, I had no desire to throw myself to the wolves just yet.

Lady Vigo and Lady Yennefer arrived together. Similar to Ariadne and Maleficent, they arrived arm in arm. But the difference between the women was pronounced. Some of the women had run inside with all due haste and propriety. Lady Vigo was one of those. Lady Eilhart had made a display of magic to keep herself warm and dry.

Lady Yennefer was wearing a rain cloak and the water just ran off the hood and down the back of the cloak as she walked into the castle.

That seemed to be the end of the matter although I waited for a while and decided that I couldn’t put it off any further. The Wolves are waiting.

-

Entry 148

As times go, it was relatively painless. More formal than I might have wished to be fair but… even so. It would seem that the entire Lodge of Sorceress meets in full so rarely that when they do, there is so much gossip to share and so many old debates and arguments to take up that they can barely keep from the situation.

There was like, a small core of us, standing off to one side who were the magically…. If I was going to be diplomatic I would say that we were less than gifted in that regard. But Emma, The Duke and Duchess of Angraal, Mark and myself were stood and sitting there like a set of lemons as we watched the other women gossip and have fun together as they argued that black was white, up was down and about the possibility that everything was an illusion generated by some extremely powerful mage that we could not possibly comprehend.

The Duke of Angral in particular had a kind of glassy depression in his eyes as he listened to some of this.

There was some special confusion though when Ciri came over and introduced herself to the Duke and Duchess. She had teleported straight into the castle itself, circumventing the rain. The Empress was wearing a fairly simple dress and her hair was done up nicely, but she was in her friendly Ciri persona really while she discussed things to do with the fluid nature of time and the bendable possibilities of Space.

She instantly charmed the Duchess of Angral, linked her arm through the other woman’s and dragged her into the conversations. Emma didn’t fare any better as Laurelen realised that she was neglecting her, all-but wife and also dragged her into the conversation leaving the men together.

“Lord Frederick.” The Duke of Angraal asked me in a small voice. “Are they always like this?”

“In my experience,” Mark joined the conversation. “Yes, they are.”

“But that’s the most powerful woman on the continent asking my wife questions regarding her favourite filthy romances.”

“She does that,” I commented. “The Empress is a complicated woman.”

The Duke looked at me strangely.

“I will be honest Lord Frederick. I had always assumed that you exaggerated your accounts of the Empress when it came to her character. I thought that you were building her up as part of some kind of political ploy or to ingratiate yourself with her.”

“I am not the perfect narrator,” I admitted. “I have obscured names and things before when politics have made it necessary and out of deference to the memories of some of those that have died. Truth is sometimes harmful in ways that we cannot comprehend and wouldn’t notice until we are quite far down the rabbit hole. There are other times though when people who were there read the accounts and would be angry with me if I told lies or obfuscated matters. I understand that Ciri is one of those people.”

The Duke needed to be found a chair to sit down in.

“You call her Ciri?” He whimpered.

I could not stop myself from laughing at him.

“Lord Duke.” Mark joined in. “I would be astonished to learn that by the end of this weekend, your wife is not also on first name basis with the Empress of Nilfgaard and that the pair of you, and your children, will be invited to present yourself at court for more than just the ritual stuff. Whether you want to or not, you have just become powerful on an Imperial scale.”

“Flame,” he muttered.

“Welcome to the family,” I told him.

We spoke a bit more. Apparently, his children were angry with him as they were not going to be at the wedding. They had complained loudly at not being able to see Aunty Spider getting married but what with all the dignitaries that were going to be there, it would mean that the possibility of child-based mischief born out of boredom would cause an international diplomatic incident. I sympathised and told him that we would have a party when Ariadne and I took up residence in Angral.

He was a little mollified about that.

After that, we were all seated for dinner and I was pleased to find myself seated next to Lady Laux-Antille. Another ridiculously beautiful woman who doesn’t wield her beauty as a weapon in the same way that many of the other Sorceresses do. She is undoubtedly stunning, but I get the feeling that she doesn’t care as much about it or that she simply forgets. She also has an occasional habit of hunching her shoulders and drawing herself inwards when she is unsure of her footing. A habit she picked up after she was imprisoned by Radovid apparently.

But we talked for a long time about the necessities of education. She was just as pleased to properly meet me as I was to meet her and we talked for a long time about this and that and the other thing. In total, the academy at Aretuza had managed to salvage approximately a third of the great library of the non-humans when measured by quantity. There were some efforts and ideas that might salvage more but that could go either way. Now it was a case of reading it all and cataloguing it. Next would be a decision-making process to see if anything needed to be hidden away.

I expressed my discomfort about hiding away knowledge and she nodded.

“I agree.” She told me. “But we found in one of those books, scribbled in the margins somewhere, the precursors to Nables formula for blasting. Not the formula itself, thank the powers, but one of my alchemists thinks she could use that formula to extrapolate something that might be, kind of sort of kind of like…” Her words trailed off.

“I don’t like it.” She said. “But it’s like Witcher mutations. What if a Radovid or a de Aldesbourg or a Vilgefortz or an Emhyr or a Henselt or a Falka gets a formula that can level mountains?”

She shuddered. “That’s why people like me don’t make decisions like this.”

“Who will make that decision?” I wondered.

She shrugged. “I don’t know but it doesn’t need to be made yet.”

I nodded.

The conversations and discussions were still going strong into the early hours of the morning which was when I chose to go to bed. Ariadne kissed me on the cheek and hugged me before she rejoined a conversation with Lady Metz on the possibilities of using Spider webs to be able to communicate long distance. Something to do with, I quote, “The Wave-Forms of Sound being transmittable along a silken thread.”

I left before my headache got any worse, taking a cup of tea up to my room.

I have the urge for some peace and quiet and to listen to the rain.

-

Entry 149

Well…. They’ve gone. So many people from the castle turned out to watch them go. The Lodge of Sorceresses, the Duchess of Angraal and my sister. All of them stepping through a portal to… Flame knows where. I have no idea and judging by the expression on Maleficent’s face, I’m not sure that I want to know either.

There is now a strange feeling of emptiness in the castle. My ears almost feel as though they are ringing with the utter lack of sound that is happening right now. I can feel the silence.

It’s not silent of course, the rain is still hammering against the shutters and the windows and the roof and…

It’s not often that I think about the guards on watch but there are some places on the castle wall where it is impossible to stand a watch without just… standing there. And I can’t help but think about what it would be like to stand there, in the open, with the rain drumming off your helmet. I mean, I know that they always wear padding and things but even so, that’s gotta… resonate or something.

Rickard tells me that in this kind of situation, leather hoods are much more useful. Leather hoods and oilskin cloaks. I can see the need.

The castle is quiet. It is like the held breath before the charge. Still no news on when the wedding is going to take place. Still, no news and I have absolutely nothing to do.

On the other hand, Kerrass has resurfaced now that the Sorceresses have gone. Marching into the hall for lunch as though he had never been away. Sam, who had likewise made a big show of coming back, took the opportunity to tease him about it but Kerrass just raised an eyebrow at him.

I had been sanguine about the delay and, to be fair, I still am really. But I feel as though my life is on hold and I want the entire thing to be over now. I want it to be done. Whatever is going to happen now, I want it to happen so that I can get on with things. Whether I am Lord, diplomat, advisor or Professor. Whether I am some combination of all of them and still figuring out what the ratio is. Or do I want to get on with being a husband first and enjoy finding my feet in that role?

Even while I am not looking forward to our first married argument.

The advice about never sleeping on an argument is something that we’ve talked about and have agreed to implement whenever it comes up. Apart from anything else, she doesn’t sleep and I won’t have anything to immediately get up for, so we can easily take all the time that we need to sort ourselves out when it comes to that.

I just want it to start now.

I’m going to find Kerrass and challenge him to a game of cards. We’ve got the castle to ourselves after all. Maybe we can rope the Duke into it and have some kind of tournament while he is here. I know that Mark and Sam both play. I have my suspicions that Mother is a secret card shark. I don’t play but fuck it, I am willing to learn right now.

-

Entry 150

The ladies have come back and I took great delight in enjoying the state that they were all in as they came through the transport gate. Some looked serene and unruffled, almost as though they hadn’t been away. Notably, Ariadne, Lady Yennefer and Lady Eilhart were among this number. Some of the women were supporting each other and suffering from some kind of pronounced exhaustion. My sister and the Duchess of Angraal were among those ladies.

Kerrass, rather unkindly, suggested that they were hungover but I don’t believe that my sainted sister would succumb to something like that.

Everyone else was somewhere in between with Maleficent notably radiating a kind of smugness. There were more moments of reunion, hugs and various things. Ariadne was leaving again although she had decided that she was going to come back the day before we were due to be married. The delay was not expected to be too long, only a couple of days and with everything being on hold she thinks she might as well be here with her friends and loved ones.

The Duke and the Duchess are just going to stay now for essentially the same reason.

The other Sorceresses made their excuses and tottered off, most promising that they would be coming back with the Imperial party.

I might be imagining the speed with which they all left, but there seemed to be undue haste about the entire thing. When my friends had left, there was a reluctance that was pervading the entire thing, but it was almost as though the ladies couldn’t wait to get away from each other. I didn’t know what to make of it and spent some time checking to make sure that Ariadne was alright.

She reassured me that she was and when she eventually got annoyed with my insistence on repeating the question she told me that what I was sensing was the problem of your closest friends also being your closest competitors.

When I collared Emma for a report while Laurelen was gleefully bringing her a hangover potion, she told me taht there was a feeling to the entire thing of a group of swordsmen, all waiting for the other to flinch first.

She refused to tell me what had happened over the time away though as she was still processing it all.

Laurelen is not as immune to my determined questioning however and said something about an “Elven spa day in the Valley of the Flowers” whatever that means.

The Duchess spent the rest of the day walking around in something of a daze.

Dinner tonight is going to be a quiet thing where most, people are going to be brought food in their rooms.

-

Entry 151

Well… plans are finally being made. According to Laurelen and Ariadne, the rain is going to peter out overnight or maybe tomorrow and after that, the worst that can happen is some scattered showers, whatever that means. In the end, though, the wedding is going to be delayed by maybe five days. If anything, the local population see that as a good thing. I know that the inns in Novigrad will not be complaining as it means that they will be groaning with guests during the delay. As well as many of the roadside inns and the inns of Vizima, full of the guests that will be travelling with the Imperial party.

Our guest rooms will be full of guests who are due to arrive. People whose journey was already underway or people that were already here. Mostly friends of Father’s or business partners of Emma’s. Not anyone that I am particularly friendly with but people that

So we’re going to have dinner on the night that we should have gotten married. A nice, informal, not really a party. Some of the more perishable food items that are determined to not make it to when we are actually going to get married now can be eaten and a good time will be had by all. Mother is in her element and it is good to see her bring life into the castle along with Emma.

There is a particular breed of these old family friends that remember Emma when she was a baby and are therefore struggling to accept Emma’s authority in the castle itself. It seems that things are easier when there is a certain distance in the matter as well as a letter and an official seal to be able to hide behind. And it is these guests that Mother is better able to handle than some.

I can now see the wisdom of Emma insisting that Mother attend. I had been sceptical given Mother’s history but as is so often the case, sister knows best.

Ariadne has taken over that room that is going to be “The wedding suite”. She claims to have gotten plenty of rest and is set on arranging matters to her satisfaction. We have reiterated to each other and the watching and listening people that we have waited for so long, a couple of days longer delay will not be too debilitating.

We have taken several long walks together. It is still raining but we have wandered the halls and the gardens, along the walls and through the courtyards and things. We have yet to find a spot that feels like “ours”.

It feels a little bit unreal that the two of us will be married shortly. We don’t touch each other anymore. The nearness of it all means that… we feel as though we are on the edge of a cliff. We have spoken about this a little so I know that she feels the same. We are on the edge of the cliff and it would not take much to send us tumbling over the edge of… desire or whatever it is that we are teetering on the edge of.

I love this woman and every sidelong glance, every small smile and moment where we almost reach for each other and turn aside are a moment that I cherish. If anticipation is the first course of pleasure then by the Flame I cannot wait for the main meal.

Kerrass and Sam both, insist on making jokes on the matter. Jokes on the edge of just… the two of us should just run off and give into things. The tension is palpable for everyone else that can see us, hear us or even get anywhere close to us.

Eventually, though, it gets too much for the pair of us and one or other of us will flee to calm down. Ariadne is making use of Laurelen’s lab for reasons of her own. “Private projects” apparently and I have no idea what that means. Although the sly looks that she sends my way and Laurelen’s giggling…

Other than that though, there is a general sense of frustration in the air. The weather breaking has helped. I no longer feel as though I am pulling my clothes away from my skin anymore. Captain Froggart has resurfaced and is back to drilling the men on their salutes and their ceremonial duties. Rickard is doing the same but for some of the more military aspects of things. I don’t think that the engine crews have been this well drilled since Father departed.

But there is this sense of things. People are snapping at each other and waiting.

Kerrass is walking around as though someone stood on his tail. Emma is walking around with a furrowed brow. Mother is having to act as a diplomat between Emma and all of the other relatively minor dignitaries that are staying in pavilions or guest quarters.

There is a thing where they are wondering why they are not allowed to stay in the castle itself when the higher dignitaries are going to be delayed by several days so why couldn’t they be housed in the better guest rooms? I am pleased to leave that diplomacy to someone else.

Mark has retreated to his rooms, coming out for dinners and meals and things but he tells me that he is conserving his energy. Father Jerome and his wife seem unaffected but that is a mixed blessing at best as he comes out and starts to offend people.

Of all people, Sam seems to be taking the delay of the wedding the hardest. Stamping around and snapping at people. He tells me that he wants to be heading back North. That the feeling of being under Mother’s authority again is not something that he is enjoying. He insists that it is not me, or Emma and that he cannot begrudge the delay or be angry about it. He knows that it’s neither my fault nor the fault of anyone else. But he is stymied by the thought that he should be doing something else. Something more important, something more… defining I suppose. He feels as though he is regressing in some way. Back to that feeling of being under other people’s authority when he is used to being a grown man who can make his own decisions about what he is going to do at any given time, rather than at the beck and call of someone else’s authority.

I cannot say that he is necessarily wrong in feeling that.

The other day Mother told me to do something. It was something minor, off-hand and something that I am convinced was nothing that she did deliberately but it was something that made me incredibly angry.

She told me to fetch her a drink. I was say, reading a book in one of the main drawing rooms. It was before dinner at that point of the day when people were generally out and about doing their own thing. Either in their rooms preparing for dinner, out in the yard clearing up some of the debris from all of the storms that had been happening or otherwise just lounging around the place waiting for something to happen.

Mother was doing something. Like me, I think she was reading something and she finished her cup of coffee, something that she was developing a taste for. And she told me to fetch her another.

I was sat, my feet stretched out in front of me in that muscle-cracking point that is, at the same time, luxurious but not the sort of stance that can be maintained indefinitely. I was reading one of those books. I had read it many times before. I do not doubt that I will read it many times again. It is about the history of those early days of Redania. Written for someone who has a passing interest in the subject. Not a serious academic work but something that… It’s a gateway text. Written to get someone to be interested in the subject and make them go out to find more on it.

I love it, one of those books that I always find fascinating and always enjoy. It’s the kind of book that I read when I find myself needing to reignite my interest in this or that or the other thing.

I cannot deny that I was reading it for something to do. Something to pass the time. Kerrass was snoozing, also rebelling at the forced idleness. Ariadne was obsessing over the fit of her wedding dress so she had teleported up to Novigrad to harass the innocent dressmaker and I was reading my book.

And Mother held out her cup without looking up.

“Freddie.” She said. “Fetch me another.”

Now. I need to remember that she was actually closer to the coffee pot than I was. We were both reading, and neither of us was obscured or tied up in any way.

It was an interesting moment and I have spent some time since considering the matter.

I wanted to rebel. I wanted to yell that she was not the ruler of my life and that if she wanted another drink then she could damn well fetch it herself.

I also, nearly, went the logical route. Pointing out that she was closer to the pot than I was. That I didn’t want a coffee and as such, there was no need for me to do that and if she wanted a coffee then she would be better off making it herself when I would, undoubtedly, do it wrong.

I resented it hugely. Given that I also knew that when I was younger, I would have leapt to perform even the smallest chore that my mother would have asked for in the hope that it would carry me through whatever it was that I was doing otherwise.

It was just…. One of those things. It was a declaration of her authority over me. I wanted to point out to her that I was a grown man and I was not going to run around after her or do the small chores that she wanted me to do because she couldn’t be bothered. I was not going to run up to her rooms to fetch her embroidery or to pass her that book or to… do any number of things that she wanted to be done that didn’t warrant the calling for a servant when a handy child was nearby.

It was the exertion of authority. One of those small actions that people who have the power, do to those people that don’t, is to remind them of exactly who was in charge. I recognise it because I have been trained to recognise that kind of play, the same as Sam, Emma and Mother undoubtedly have.

I even don’t think that she did it maliciously, or with intent to offend or to exert that authority. I think it was habit. I think it was simply the fact that she, Mother, was sitting in the castle drawing rooms, her castles drawing rooms, with her friends. Her youngest son was nearby and she found herself with an empty cup. There were no servants nearby and the habit of authority is just as ingrained as the habit of acting under that authority.

So she automatically expected me to leap to her every whim.

I made her the drink and then left the room. It took me a solid minute of sitting there deciding what to do about the situation before I rose to my feet and moved.

I did consider rebelling or putting her into her place. I nearly called her out on her actions or her behaviour. But then I considered as to what good it would achieve. Would it offend her, upset her, or otherwise cause a ruckus only days out from my wedding day? What good would it actually achieve to test my authority in our castle against hers when she would be leaving shortly thereafter anyway? I rather thought that all it would achieve would be to humiliate one or both of us in front of other guests when we have bigger and better things to organise.

So I made the drink and then left so that it wouldn’t become a habit.

But that was the kind of thing that was happening and we were all dealing with it to varying degrees. Emma and Mark were unassailable in their authority. One is the Mistress of the castle and Mark with his lofty position within the church with his guards and servants. But both of them found themselves in the presence of Mother and other people that remembered both of them when they still needed someone to come and wipe their arse after they’d been to use the chamber pot.

So it is true that Sam and I have taken the brunt of most of that. Sam, who is used to being the Lord of his domain now, was being consigned to fetching and carrying. It is no wonder that he spends increasing amounts of time with his men in the fields beneath the castle where his authority remains absolute. He doesn’t even have the advantage that I do of being the reason that all of this is happening in the first place.

So I cannot blame him.

I want this to be done now. This is beginning to grate on me and I am not the only one that is becoming frustrated.

-

Entry 152

I should have been married today.

It is the Autumn Equinox today. Now that there is not going to be a wedding on the same day, some of the decorations that we would normally have been replaced with standard decorations. Pumpkins and the like. Sheaves of corn have appeared on door jams.

There is going to be a large dinner for the guests and Emma is paying for a feast to be prepared for those staff, guards and soldiers that won’t be able to be at the dinner themselves. Men and women of all races are still here because they have been preparing for a wedding that is still several days off as I write this and she feels, not incorrectly, that we should do something to show our gratitude for them taking the time.

So there is still a little bit of a party atmosphere about the castle today as everyone gets ready for what we are going to do next.

Today is bittersweet for me. The skies have all but cleared, just wisps of cloud that shoot across the sky in the breezes that drive them. The sun is not too hot, the air smells fresh and there is a nice smell in the air.

Today would have been a good day to get married.

Everything is in place and there is a small, treacherous part of me that says that we could get married right now. Indeed, that same part of me is telling me that I should get married right now. But Ariadne has waited this long for proper legitimacy and as such, I can’t deny her that.

Also, it would very likely be literal suicide as the insult to the Empress would be, potentially, catastrophic. Even if Ciri would probably be quite understanding.

So Ariadne and I have mostly spent the day together and other than the two chaperones that have been following us around, we have largely been left to ourselves. My fingers have itched to take her hand in mine.

We have walked, and talked and in the odd torment of being so close to each other and not allowed to touch. I have watched my own reactions with interest and concern. I am not fascinated by traditional female features. I don’t know if this is because the thought of touching her breasts or her bottom or running my hands up her thighs is too overwhelming. But I find that I want to stroke the side of her neck to where it meets her shoulders. To run my finger along her collarbone. I want to feel the bottom of her rib cage on her side before her sides meet her hip. I don’t know why that particular curvature is so fascinating to me but I long to feel that.

We sat together and ate a small lunch in Mother’s old rose garden. It’s more of a herb garden now. We sat and spoke of little, unimportant things. We reminisced, talking about what I thought when I saw her for the first time. What she thought when she saw me for the first time. I told her when I realised that I loved her. She told me when she realised that she loved me. We went over my wedding proposal and I teased her about how she had looked, hiding behind a bush as though the ring was about to explode. We giggled when I described her as looking like a cartoon mouse, with huge eyes and trembling as she waited for the trap to spring on her.

She got her revenge by teasing me about my face when I finally realised that people were congratulating me on my engagement to her rather than about my finalising my Professorship with the University. It seems so stupid to me now that I might have seen it as something other than what it was.

We both giggled at the memory of the Empress as she realised what had happened.

We talked about small things and big things. We joked and laughed and wept a little too at the unfairness of our happiness being deferred because of politics. We practised our first dance together and exchanged stories about my stag party and her hen party including an incident where Francesca Findabair, the Queen of the Elves, Duchess of Nilfgaard and the most beautiful woman on the continent, had smeared her face with berry juice from the desert.

We spent a lot of time just looking at each other.

And the day has passed like that. When I haven’t been with Ariadne, I have had a solid stream of people coming to check whether or not I’m alright. Kerrass and Sam have both been hovering to make sure that I wasn’t going to go crazy with it all. Emma has given me a signal that I can use so that if it ever feels overwhelming, then she can distract everyone and I can make my escape accordingly. Mark is not all that well at the moment and is struggling to form words but when he looks at me, there is a softness in his eyes that brim with sympathy.

For some reason, that is worse.

We are going to have dinner and then I intend to get drunk tonight. Not catastrophically drunk, but certainly drunk enough that the evening will pass relatively easily.

I’m fine. I insist that I am fine and will continue to insist that I am fine. I just… I just wish that today had gone the way that it was supposed to have gone.

Today was supposed to be my wedding day.