It was the Empress that found me first.

I had elected to take the back way out of Toussaint in an effort to avoid as many people as possible. There is a path that leads through the gardens and up the side of a hill and I was sat with my back to a tree, legs stretched out in front of me looking out over the entirety of the Duchy. I had my travelling clothes on and my spear was propped up next to me and I had taken great care not to look like Lord Frederick the courtier of the last few weeks and months.

The path was not as quiet as I had thought that it would be. It turns out that it is a favourite path of painters and young lovers who want to “escape” from it all. I had had to force down bitter tears when a young couple had chosen a nearby bush to enjoy each other's company for a while. I easily made my way out of sight so that I no longer had to watch them but I could still hear them.

Fortunately for everyone there had been a short shower of spring rain a little earlier that I had enjoyed. It had left the air feeling fresh and clean in a way that precious little else did.

I wanted to leave then but this is where Kerrass had agreed to meet me, bringing horses and provisions for the road and I couldn't afford to miss him if we were going to escape quietly.

But the Empress found me first. I heard the hoof-beats as her horse trotted up the path just before she walked round the tree to look down at me.

“Looking to slip out quietly were we,” she asked with a raised eyebrow.

I tried to climb to my feet, long years of training in Etiquette wouldn't allow me to sit on the floor when the most powerful person on the continent stood over me. But she waved me back down to the ground and sat next to me. She was wearing a pair of soft leather trousers that looked well cared for as well as some riding boots in similar leather. They showed signs of much use but were obviously well loved. She also wear a stiff leather corset which I suspected had metal plates sewn into it, around her middle and there was more stiff leather wrist and shoulder guards. She carried a red scabbarded sword in her left hand which she propped up against the tree although I noticed that it wasn't far from her hands.

It occurred to me that I had never seen her looking quite this comfortable.

There was another new addition as well. The crossbow that I had had made for her was in the holster on her hip. It gave her a rakish, cavalier air that I think suited her.

“I apologise your majesty.”

She chuckled. “No you don't. You absolutely intended to slip away quietly without anyone knowing weren't you?”

I admitted the accusation with a nod.

“Don't feel bad Lord Frederick. The Imperial Intelligence service and the men of the third legion work for me.” She said it with a certain air of smugness.

I looked at her crooked smile for a moment.

“Kerrass told you didn't he?” I accused.

“He did.”

I grimaced. “I'll skin that cat.”

“Oh yeah? you and whose army.” She sniffed disparagingly. “You can't borrow mine.”

I found myself laughing with her.

“Sweet Melitele,” She said after a moment or two of silence. “Sweet Melitele but.... Sorry I should ask. Do you mind if I call you Freddie?”

I shook my head. She nodded in gratitude.

“I am so, so sorry Freddie. So very sorry.”

“Look Majesty, with all due respect to your grief but you have nothing to....”

She held her hand up to stop my flood of very correct and heartfelt words.

“It's just the two of us here Freddie. Call me Ciri would you. When there are others about then I'll let you Majesty me this way and that, but for the two of us here and now? Call me Ciri would you?”

“Very well. Ciri.” it tasted awkward in my mouth.

“And don't give me that other bullshit either.” She glared at me. “No, it wasn't my fault. Yes I did everything I could but I still lost her. I couldn't find her and I couldn't prevent her from being taken. Let me have that at least would you?”

“The people who took her are the ones to blame.”

“I know that.” She sighed and looked out over Toussaint. “I do know that. Lord Voorhis, Papa and father all tell me and have told me that there is very little we can do to prevent a lone nutjob from doing their thing. But that doesn't stop me feeling as though I failed her. And if I failed her then I definitely failed you.”

She sniffed. I was astonished. It's one of those things that you just don't imagine the Empress weeping. “But even if I admit that I had nothing to do with it,” she continued. “Even if I try to convince myself that there was nothing that I could have done, nothing more that I could be doing right now then I would still be sorry for your loss and the pain that you must be feeling right now.” She sniffed again. “I am so, so very sorry Freddie.”

There was a catch in her voice that brought a lump into my throat too.

“Flame but I miss her.” I heard myself say. “I hadn't seen her for years before your coronation but I never missed her like this.”

“I know Freddie. Goddess but I miss her too.”

We rested against each other. She put her arm round me and I put my arm round her and we wept for a while.

It took a long time but then she pulled away before sniggering and wiping her eyes.

“What?” I asked her.

“Triss keeps telling me that there's nothing more pathetic than a Sorceress in tears. I must look a right state.”

“This from the Empress of the continent.” It was a weak joke but I tried to inject some humour into it. She pushed me away in indignation.

We sat in silence for a moment or two, staring out over Toussaint.

“You haven't exactly seen Toussaint at it's best.” She said suddenly. “Promise me something Freddie?”

“Majesty?”

She pulled a face at my failure to use her name.

“When all this is over,” she said. “When things have settled down a bit I will need to come back here. I come back here fairly often actually to see Mum and Dad but I will need to come back here for state occasions. On one of those state occasions I'm going to invite you and your family to come down and visit. I'm going to have Anna....” It took me a moment to connect this casual name with Duchess Anna-Henrietta, “... treat you all as honoured guests and put on a bit of a show for you. I want you to see Toussaint in all it's glory with it's festivals and Tournaments and balls and parties. It's theatre and show-troupes and ancient traditions that are painfully silly and everyone knows that they're painfully silly including the people that are performing the rites. I want you to come hunting and eat and partake in the best wine in the world because if you think that Toussaint doesn't keep the best wine here for itself then you are insane.

“You have only seen the seedy underbelly of it all,” she went on. “I would like you to see the splendour of it as well. One of the reasons that I am so angry about what has happened here, what has been allowed to happen here, is that I love this place and I would like you and your family to see the parts of it that I love.”

I found my mind shying away from the idea and she must have seen my concerns. “Don't worry, I'm talking about a few years time.”

“It would need to be.” I said, trying desperately to keep the bitterness and rage out of my voice.

“We have time, you and I.”

There was another pause.

“How are you doing Majesty?” I asked her. I don't know why I asked but suddenly it seemed like a very relevant question. “With all of this I mean. Not just Frannie but with everything else.”

She smiled and picked up a small twig that she played with between her fingers.

“I heartily wish I was coming with you.” She said after a long while. “I'm surrounded by guards but they're not that much of an obstacle, not really although they would be horribly upset if they heard me say that. One of the attractions of the simpler life is that I would feel proactive. I would be doing things, solving problems and saving lives. But the small handful of lives, the small problems that I can save on the road are nothing compared to the problems that I can solve from the throne. It just feels....less satisfying somehow. Signing orders and laws rather than swinging a sword. There's an immediacy that I miss.”

She was stripping the bark from the twig and hurling the ragged ends away from her.

“Can I ask you a question?” I said suddenly, “and I hope it doesn't offend you or upset you or anything but I genuinely don't understand something.”

“Sounds ominous.” She gave a lop-sided smile. “But please....”

“You are the lady of Time and Space correct?”

“Yes.”

“So why can't you just go back in time and prevent my sister from being taken?” I heard the pleading whine in my voice and felt a small amount of rage at myself more than anything. “I know it's childish and I know that's not what it's for and I know there's something to be asked for why should I have the benefit of your power when so many other people have lost family and loved ones. I even know the answer is probably “because it doesn't work like that,” but...” I felt my rage and pain threatening to overwhelm me again. Not for the first time and certainly not for the last.

“Flame but I'm sorry.” I said after the lump in my throat had subsided a little. “I shouldn't be talking to you like that, your rank not withstanding.”

“It's ok,” she said in a tired voice. “You are right though. It doesn't work like that. That's the quick answer anyway. The long answer is complex and I don't understand it all myself, as well as this world lacking the language to to describe it.”

She scraped some debris away on a small patch of ground as she talked.

“Most people think of time as a river. Flowing constantly and steadily in one direction. And to the vast majority of people that is entirely correct.” She drew a line in the dirt with her stick.

“But it's not quite true. To get to grips with this you need to understand that when we talk about time there are three perspectives that you need to get to grips with. Those concepts are the concepts of Past, present and future.”

From the end of the line she started drawing out many off shoots, in different directions. “In many ways, the concept of time as a river still works here but it's still not quite right. We have the main trunk of the river and then, the further up the river we go, we have the more little streams and tributaries that feed that river. But the model breaks down here as, with rivers, the water runs from the tributaries into the greater stream whereas with time, it goes the other way.

“Here,” she pointed at the single thicker unbroken line, “This is the past, while here,” She pointed at the part where the single unbroken line broke off into all of the different branches. “That point is the present. Everything beyond that is the future. Are you with me so far?”

“Not even remotely,” I admitted. “But I haven't shut down yet.”

She grinned and I guessed that this was a common conversation for her to have.

“As we, let's call us “The observer of events,” move through the linear time at the point of the present. We are constantly going through the process of changing future events into past events. As the Observer, We are the thing that makes the “Present”, the “present”.”

“So it's like tenses in language. A future tense, a past tense....”

“Yes, but also a separate “present tense,” for things that are happening right now in the instant of observation.”

I found my mind bending around the concepts and she chuckled at my face.

“So why can't I go back and change the past? That's the root of your question right?”

“Yes.”

“The simplified version of the matter is that the events of the past are set. I cannot change them. That's not just me, if we could send anyone through time into the past then it would still result in the same thing happening.”

I wanted to ask why, she saw it and held a hand up to prevent me.

“The reason for this is described as “a paradox.” In one of the worlds that I visited, the most common and simplest way of describing this is called “The Grandfather Paradox.” This suggests a theory that the time traveller goes back in time and kills his own Grandfather as a child. But that would prevent the time traveller from being born, which would, in turn, prevent the traveller from going back in time and killing his own Grandfather. Which would mean that the Grandfather would never be killed leading to the traveller being born, becoming a time traveller and going back in time to kill his Grandfather.

“The nature of the paradox is cyclical and unbreakable. It can't be broken free from. So Nature, the universe or whatever you want to call it, dictates that this cannot happen. Therefore, the time traveller goes back to kill his own grandfather but circumstances conspire to prevent this from happening. He kills the wrong child, or it turns out that his great grand parents actually had a second son, named them for the child that they had lost and that “this “ child was the Grandfather after all.”

“So, if I went back in time to try and prevent your sister from going out to meet with her fate that night. Then my actions in the past, are already in the past. They already happened and they still resulted in her going out that night and getting caught. Maybe my interference is the reason that she took the secret passage out of the room rather than by walking out of her room doors into the waiting guardsmen.

“We can't know.

“All that we know is that she was taken from us. It happened and there's nothing we can do now except attempt to change the future.”

My mind was working furiously.

“But hang on.” I said. “If you went back and talked to Francesca about what happens in the future. From her perspective, she is still the observer in the present right?”

The Empress nodded.

“So to her, the future isn't set. She could them make the choices that change what happens.”

“She could. But we know that she didn't.”

“Why?”

“Because from our observations. If that happened we would simply cease to exist. We wouldn't have had the conversation that led us to go back in time to change her perspective.”

I scratched my head in confusion.

“But also,” I tried. “To her, we are in the future. One of several possible futures right?”

“From her perspective yes.”

“We can change the future, so why can't she?”

“No-one knows. Because the perspective is fixed to our own perspective. Yours and mine.”

“My brain hurts.”

She smiled sadly. “As does mine. There is another theory that is impossible to prove. We know that there are other worlds because that's what happens during the conjunction of spheres, when the worlds come together and the barrier between them becomes thinner. We have not, yet come up with a concept to deal with this other theory in our world but others are working on it. The theory goes that as well as being other worlds there are also “Parallel dimensions.”

“We live in one dimension. But every choice we make causes a branch in the road. We make a decision and head down one path while another version of us, in a different world, chooses the other path creating a separate dimension. An infinite possible number of dimensions created by all the different decisions that we all make on a daily basis.”

“Ok, now you lose me.”

“Think about it. Let's say that you are right. I go back in time and warn Francesca not to go out that night. Tell her as much as I know about the conspiracy against her and against us. She takes that knowledge and uses it. We know that to our perspective, that didn't happen but to her...She goes on to make some different choices and as a result she creates an alternative dimension where she, you and I are more properly prepared for what happens next.”

“That doesn't help us though does it.”

“No. We are still stuck in the timeline and dimension where we lost her.”

We stared at each other for a moment.

“Fuck,” I said after a while.

“Indeed. I think through exactly the same process nearly every day when I think of my dead mother, Uncle Vesemir, Grandmother and all the other people that we have lost.”

She suddenly looked very old then. Very very old.

“But anyway.” She shook herself “I came to tell you something else.” She said throwing the twig over her shoulder and reaching into one of the pouches at her side. “Turns out you can do some surprising things when you're the most powerful woman on the continent.”

“Oh,”

She had produced an envelope which she kept on her lap and she stared at me with a raised eyebrow and a look of amusement.

“Did you know,” she began after a while. “That I was advised to destroy your family?”

“What?”

“Yes. I had just come to court and I was already being groomed to take my fathers place. We didn't have a time-scale yet for that to happen but already your family, the Coulthard family were terrifying the southern lords. Not many of the Northern Continent had sent delegates to my court yet and as such the only people around were Nilfgaardians and they were terrified of your father and what he was capable of.”

I said nothing.

“They told me a whole bunch of things and gave me intelligence reports about all of you. There were assessments of your families wealth, in both Liquid capital as well as the assets. I read reports on each of you, your fathers ambitions and your families actions during the last war. All of those reports painted the picture of an ambitious northern family whose patriarch was wise enough to know that Infrastructure and trade is far more important than how well you can tilt at the dummy in the yard.

“That kind of man sends courtiers into apoplexy. They were terrified. They predicted that your father would be buying up land, buying up trade resources and gathering economic power. They saw your brothers growing influence in the most powerful religion of the Northern continents as well as your families involvement with the Northern Magic users and your involvement in academia meant that you would have the power over the young minds of the north. They were predicting a few strategic marriages made by your family followed by a slow and steady rise to power over a generation or so.”

She giggled. “It seems ridiculous now with the benefit of hindsight but they were absolutely terrified of you. Over and over again we were advised to send assassins or manufacture excuses to lead to your disgrace and executions.”

“Why didn't you then?”

“Nervous?” She teased.

“Too fucking right.”

“I don't know in all honesty.” She admitted. “It just seemed a little...extreme. I still didn't have that much power. Father was handing me more and more responsibility and I was actually making decisions but I could easily see the fact that people were still checking with him. Every time I made a decision they would turn to him to see if he agreed.

“He didn't take it well as I recall and had one of them broken on the wheel for not immediately following my orders.”

She sighed at the memory. “I asked him what I should do about the matter. He didn't answer me properly. Instead, all he did was lay out the options for me again. What they all might achieve, what they wouldn't achieve, how they could be used. I asked him about the whole thing of “Keep your friends close but your enemies closer,” but he never seemed to agree to that. He would tell me that if you are going to make an enemy then you should destroy them utterly with such extremity that they will never even try to come back at you and will act as a warning to anyone else that might become a threat.

“As an aside he once said that mercy was cruel. He said that living enemies raise armies against you but dead enemies only raise grave-markers. At first I thought him cruel but then he explained that his method would prevent wars.

“Complicated man, my Father.

“Anyhoo, I've got off topic.

“I still couldn't decide what to do but then your sister came to court. I didn't realise it at the time but your family had given me the greatest gift that you could possibly have given me. You gave me a little sister. You gave me a friend.

“No-one else could do what she did for me. No-one. She taught me so much.” The Empress scuffed another tear from the corner of her eye.

“She was like that.” I said. “She did that a lot.”

“No, sorry Freddie but I don't think you've quite got it yet. I have plenty of friends. Loads of them. Tons of them. But they're all older than me. They're all friends of Mum or Dad first, before me. I can think of Dandelion, or Yarpen or Zoltan. Anna is a friend too after a fashion but they all came to me through my history or, now, they all come to me because they want something. I find that I get lonely now and the only person. The only person who seemed to like me for being me was Francesca.

“Some people accused her of doing it on purpose. They used to think that she was pulling the wool over my eyes or that it was all some kind of long term play on the part of your family. I heard that one so often that I was even hyper cautious in my treatment of her and my reluctance to let her into my life. Now I resent the time that I lost because of that.

“She would laugh at me when she caught me being too formal with her. But then she would tell me how much it hurt her. But then she offered to leave if it was causing me trouble and I found that I genuinely believed that she meant it if I thought it would help, she was that selfless.

“She had this knack of knowing when to make a joke to lighten the mood or suggest some kind of mischief when she thought I was getting to serious. She would skewer me with some form of sarcasm or a cutting barb if, as she put it, I was getting to far up my own ass. She used to hug me when I wept with the pressure of it all and she knew. She knew when I needed to do all of those things.

“No knight, or guard or foreign dignitary could get past her when she had decided that I had had enough for the day.

“And every day she would wake me up with breakfast and a smile to warn me that my secretary was coming with the days appointments. There are times when I think that she must have been exhausted but she always had a smile for me and a smile for everyone else. Eventually it dawned on the people that surrounded me that Francesca really was, just that nice.

“I loved her. I really did.”

She looked at me side-long. I don't know what she saw in my face as I was too busy listening to pass judgement but she saw something.

“Oh not like that.” She said with a smile and a little gentle scorn at the idea. It took me a while to notice what she was talking about though. “Not that my tastes don't occasionally run in that direction and not that I wasn't tempted, but in every way that your elder sister is into women, your younger sister is into men. I was only a little disappointed but only because it meant that at some point in the future it would mean that she would fall in love with some dashing young courtier and I would have to let her go. Instead... Instead I loved her like a sister.

“A little sister and the closest friend that I've ever made that didn't come to me because of what and who I am and what I've been through. She was my friend and I could teach her about the world and she could teach me about living a life without fear.”

The Empress sniffed again and wiped her face.

“Goddess but I miss her.”

She shook herself.

“But I got side-tracked. I've been thinking a lot about your sister in the weeks since she disappeared. Before she vanished, I could have put none of that into words. But that's how I think of her now. The little sister that I never had. As a result of her influence I have made it my business to get to know your family Not as well as I would like but I have also spent some time talking to Emma before you arrived and your brothers and I have decided not to destroy your family after all.”

She grinned at my reaction.

“Uh....thank you?” I attempted.

“Don't worry. But it is pointless to think that the Coulthards are without power and I must bind you to me in some way. Someone suggested a marriage of some kind.”

I shifted uncomfortably a little.

“Don't worry Freddie you're off the hook. If it does your ego any good though I would choose you over your other eligible brother though. I like him but there's something about him that makes me uncomfortable. I suspect that he would really struggle with the idea of being subservient to me.”

She pulled a face.

“But that was never really a serious thought. Instead I have decided to follow through on my initial thought and I have adopted the five of you into my family.”

“What?”

“Yes. On an unofficial basis. You won't have any of the rank, or the land and you certainly won't fall into the line of succession. But I have two Fathers, a Mother, a dead mother who I no longer remember and a Stepmother who it's debatable whether or not my stepmother is older than me or not. I was already thinking of Francesca as a sister and I find that I like the idea of having Emma and you as further extended family. I like Mark and I'm sorry that we won't have time for me to get to know him better and Sam makes me laugh when he's not talking about silly things.”

“That sounds like Sam.”

“Yes.” She laughed. “Of all of you though it is you that I know the least. I know that you're leaving but I hope that we can become friends in the future. I need friends Freddie. I need people that will tell me when they think I'm taking myself too seriously. People that will tease me and cheer me up. Get drunk with me and laugh and cry and remind me that underneath the crown I am still a human being after all. Too many people see Cirilla the Empress rather than Ciri the woman. Francesca did that for me and I've missed that these last few days. Will you do that for me?”

“I will do my best to serve Your Majesty.”

She searched my face to see if I was joking. Fortunately for both of us, I was indeed joking and she laughed.

“Good, I'm glad. So...”

She handed the envelope over. “That is your warrant. If you produce that at any Imperial Waystation it will mean that you can get food, a bed and reinforcement if you need it. It doesn't put you in the chain of command though so the soldiers won't just drop everything and run off, when and where you tell them.”

I nodded and took the envelope.

“I will continue our investigation here and tear the continent apart until we find some sign of Francesca. I will be in touch with you and the rest of your...The rest of our family if and when we find something.”

I nodded again.

“I will be talking to your sister anyway as I want her to have a look over the Imperial treasury and see what she thinks.”

“I doubt she will like it.” I commented.

“Nor will the people who currently run the treasury, but I have questions that they always evade and my head for numbers is not brilliant. Especially when I'm juggling international relations, military strategies and the rest.”

She sniffed in derision.

“Bankers are bankers the world over.” I commented.

“Ain't that the truth. I wonder if....” She shook her head. “I will think on that.

“Anyway.

“The Lodge are worried about the type of magic that was used to invoke or imitate the “Jack” entity as they can't figure it out and that's making them nervous. They think that that kind of magic is dangerous and I'm inclined to agree. If it helps, My mother and other elder sister approved of Francesca too. They will be in touch with me and I will pass on what I find out.”

I nodded. “Other elder sister.”

“Oh, Triss Merigold.”

“I see.”

“What are you going to be doing?” She asked me.

“We made enemies.” I said. “Kerrass and I, while we were on the road together so we're going to investigate some of those things. We are going to start by going up to Sam's “Kalayn” lands in the north to see about the remnants of the cult that killed my father. Also, we know that Jack didn't care enough and that the Amber's crossing beast is banished but are there any other creatures of that ilk that might want to take something out of our skin. Kerrass also has some other sources that he wants to talk to to see if we can find out more about the type of magic that was used from that angle. Lord Shit-head that tried to use Ariadne as a weapon was using some ancient magic of a type that I don't think people know much about, when he tried to control her. Where did he get it from and was that magic part of that? That's the kind of thing that we're going to be looking at.”

“Travelling over land? You know that I have Sorcerer's that can gate you wherever you want to go right? It's good to be the Empress.”

“I know but Kerrass insisted that we travel overland. Something about some of his “sources” wanting to remain private.”

“Mmm. Witchers and their ways.”

She got up and dusted off her clothes. “Well Freddie. Good luck. I'll look forward to seeing you again. Apart from anything else, I expect an invitation to the wedding. I really want to see how that story ends.”

I tried for a smile “I suspect that between Emma and Ariadne, most of those decisions are out of my hands and I'm already astonished about how many decisions about my wedding have been taken off me. My brothers have already decided who's going to be my best man and who's going to be performing the ceremony.”

The Empress laughed.

“Besides.” I went on. “You've just informally adopted me as your brother. I would imagine you'll want to stick your oar into the matter as well.”

She put her head on one side and considered me. “I might at that. You would probably be happy with a quiet country chapel wouldn't you.”

“The prospect of eloping had occurred.” I admitted “But now?” I shrugged. “I'll be honest I haven't thought about it very much.”

She nodded. “Well think about it Freddie.” She gave me a hug. It's an odd feeling hugging an Empress informally.

She climbed onto her horse, waved and rode off. Now that I was looking for it I could see several hidden guardsmen moving through the undergrowth.

I returned to my seated position and stared out across the city.

-

All told it took me three days to recover after I woke up from my time spent with Jack. Those first days were spent in tears, in pain and resting. On the third day, the anger that I was beginning to feel at the entire circumstance began to overtake and overwhelm what feelings of helplessness and horror that had been controlling me for so long.

I rose, bathed, ate a proper meal and walked out to meet my family to ask them what we were going to do next.

They didn't have an answer. There were no answers. Of course there weren't any answers. We had to wait.

We had to become passive observers in the entire situation while the Imperial investigators continued their investigation.

As I understood it the investigation was continuing in three different directions. The first was that this was still some kind of attack against the Empress and therefore against the Empire. The second was that this was an attack against the Coulthard family. The third possibility was that this was something else. The first move in a play that was still not obvious, something that was still developing with unknown motives and an unguessable end goal.

As I was one of the people being investigated I could only watch on the periphery but I got the general feeling that the third option was the one that people were afraid of.

After the three options as to why the thing had happened, there seemed to be two different threads that were being taken up and pursued. The first was the mundane one. The one that basically needed the legwork and the manpower. These were the people that were in the process of searching buildings and boarding trading vessels. They were the people that were talking to ambassadors and making excessively veiled threats on an international scale to see if they could squirrel out some sign of what had happened and why.

They were the ones that asked me the most questions.

They had Mark, Sam, Emma, Laurelen and I, at first in separate rooms but then in pairs and together as we were questioned and probed about everything. So many things. Almost from the day that I was born. They were asking me questions about things that I could barely remember. Things that I hadn't considered. Things that seemed strange and unconnected in my mind. Things that seemed to make no sense but every answer that I gave was noted down carefully by the scribes and the questioners.

I had to go through all of my adventures with Kerrass. Both the ones that I have written about in these chronicles as well as those adventures that I haven't talked about because they didn't seem to have anything interesting to say.

I went through my private thoughts. They questioned me about Ariadne at a length that I found insulting and about my interactions with the Princess Dorn in a way that I found repulsive. More than one session had to be stopped because I became upset and violent. Every time we had to start again after a break, they reminded me that I had done nothing wrong. That they didn't suspect me of any wrong doing. That I was innocent. But then the questions started again and my rage would be banked up and begin to grow and grow until the next time that I exploded.

At one point I remember asking why they didn't just have a magic user of some kind come to read my mind. Their answer was interesting.

“Because they are pursuing their own enquiries.” was the answer.

I didn't pursue it. Nor did I point out that it would save everyone a whole bunch of time if they just knew what was going on in my head. The undertone seemed to be very significant. Someone somewhere had decided that the magical investigation needed to be kept separate from the mundane one.

For the life of me I couldn't tell why it was significant or in what way it was significant.

But it was.

So they kept asking me the questions and I kept answering them until I would begin to get upset and then lose my temper.

I didn't see Kerrass at all in that time.

Then I had another conversation that was both better and worse than the interrogations at the hands of the Intelligence service.

I came into a meeting where I faced five women who were sat behind a table. I was sat in a plain chair, next to me was a simple table with a jug of water, a jug of wine and a cup.

The five women were, in order from left to right as I faced them. Lady Keira Metz, Lady Yennefer of Vengerberg, another woman who was introduced to me as Lady Fringilla Vigo in the middle, The Empress and finally on the right sat Phillipa Eilhart.

The meeting seemed to be chaired by Lady Fringilla Vigo.

“Welcome Lord Frederick,” she said. Her voice was silky, obviously trained and only very slightly accented. I could tell that she was a native to Toussaint despite the black dress that she was wearing when I was more used to the bright colours more usual in the Toussaint court. “Please be seated.” She gestured and I sat down.

“Help yourself to something to drink.”

I caught myself glancing at Lady Eilhart regularly. She didn't seem to be paying that much attention to me though as she was scribbling on a piece of paper while she cross-referenced things to a large book that was propped open next to her. She seemed some how less than she had appeared in my visions. Less.... I suppose...Less of a caricature of herself.

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I felt incredibly guilty suddenly.

“Lord Frederick?” Lady Vigo asked, smiling gently. “I understand that you've been through a lot Lord Frederick, but are you entirely well?”

I shook myself. “Just tired Lady Vigo, just tired.”

“And you have every right to be. We will do our best not to keep you but we thought it was vital that we have this meeting as soon as humanly possible. But I hope that you won't take it incorrectly if we express our dismay at the disappearance of your sister. Each of us know Lady Francesca, some of us well, and all of us share your loss keenly.”

It was not the first time that I had heard that sentiment expressed and as always I had to force down a certain amount of rage. How could they share my loss? How could they possibly know what it felt like enough to share it?

I managed to swallow it though.

This time. I had not been as successful in the past, nor would I be again in the future.

“That isn't just in our status as members of the Lodge that we say that,” said Lady Eilhart looking up from what she was writing. “But also on a personal level.” I was astonished. She held my gaze for a couple of moments before returning to what she was doing.

The Empress was looking at the table in front of her.

“We asked you here today, not to dissect the events or what led to them.” Lady Vigo began, “We are well aware of the magical things that led to the “Laughing Jack” attacks and we are doing our best to properly investigate them as well in the hope that it will give us further leads. Not only to help us find Francesca but also to find out about the people that are doing these things. The magic that was used to force that poor man to do those things was utterly alien to our understanding and we need to investigate. But that's not what this meeting is about.”

I was about to open my mouth to speak but she forestalled me.

“This meeting is about the entity Jack.” She told me. “We are aware of the magic that was used to enable you to communicate with the creature. We know the ritual and it is noted down in our records. However what it did not do was act the way it should have done.

“So the purposes of this meeting is to figure out what went wrong but also so that we can learn more about the entity itself. We would like you to tell us about your interactions with him, as factually as you can manage. At the same time we would ask that you allow one of us to enter your mind so that we can assess what was done as well. The difference between what your words might tell us and what you might have seen or felt can be telling as sometimes that can help us tell if there is anything missing from your account. Do you agree?”

I considered. I desperately wanted to say no. I didn't want to relive those moments.

“I agree,” I forced myself to say.

“Good.” Lady Vigo took care to keep my gaze locked. “Do you have a preference as to who you allow into your mind?”

“No,” I will admit to answering before I had chance to second guess myself.

Lady Vigo nodded. “Phillipa, if you wouldn't mind?”

Lady Eilhart finished the thought that she was writing and nodded as I shivered.

“This doesn't hurt Lord Frederick.” Lady Eilhart said firmly but not without sympathy. “If you should feel any pain or discomfort then know that I will feel it too as I will be making notes of these things. It will be recorded in this book. Do you have any questions?”

“Would I be able to have a copy of what we talk about?” I asked.

“That would depend.” Said Lady Vigo, “On what we determine is safe to be released.” She tried to soften her words with a smile. “We don't want some layman or unprepared person accidentally letting Jack loose on the world after all.”

I nodded. I sensed that I wouldn't get any further than that. Lady Eilhart muttered a phrase and her quill left her hand to dance over the paper and I felt a gentle but firm presence in my head. It was like a pressure just behind my eye.

“Then we will begin at the beginning. As defined from the moment that Lady Yennefer started her summoning.”

Not the most pleasant afternoon I've ever spent. But it was far more gentle than the interrogations that I'd had earlier. I gave my account. They asked infrequent questions to tease out extra details and things that I had forgotten.

Then they went back over and made some more notes before the pressure behind my eyes seemed to vanish.

Then there were some more questions but this time it was asked of Phillipa Eilhart.

I nearly fell off my chair when Lady Vigo asked me if I had any questions that I wanted to know the answer to.

“Well Lord Frederick.” Lady Vigo finished leaning back in her chair after checking that there were no more questions to be asked. “An interesting tale to be sure.” She had another look up and down the table although I noticed that she spent most time looking at Yennefer and Madame Eilhart before turning back to me.

“We have a proposition for you Lord Frederick.”

I felt my mouth hanging open in astonishment. “Oh?”

“Yes. You and Jack seemed to agree that you would write a book on the subject of him. We have discussed the matter...”

It occurred to me then that the significant looks were them all talking via telepathy.

“... and we agree that such a book is important. However we would suggest that you would only be able to provide part of the story. We wondered if you would like to collaborate with one of our number on a treatise on Jack to hopefully help prevent future mishaps and to spread a bit of understanding.”

My mouth hung open again.

“Such is the way of a scholar.” I said.

“Excellent. Then you shall write those parts of the book about the being itself and we shall provide those chapters to do with the magical theory involved. Do you have any objection to Lady Yennefer as a collaborator?”

“Uh no?” I wondered if she was being punished in some way.

“Good then, it's settled.”

The women rose and I realised that the meeting was over. The Empress had been summoned out of a side door by a message earlier.

“I'll be in touch to discuss the book.” Yennefer told me as she passed. “I would do so now but I think you've had enough for one day.” She smiled slightly and pushed her hand through her hair. “Get some rest Lord Frederick.” She left.

I stood by myself as Keira Metz and Lady Vigo stood talking to each other. Lady Eilhart was gathering up her things.

It took a bit of effort but I managed to screw up my courage and approached her.

“Lady Eilhart if I may,” I forced out.

“Mmm?” She collected everything into a satchel and hugged the book to her chest in the manner of a school mistress.

“I wanted to apologise Lady Eilhart.”

“Whatever for?” She seemed genuinely astonished.

“My vision?”

She seemed confused for a moment before chuckling in a deep and throaty voice.

“You're talking about casting me as the villain in your hallucinatory melodrama.”

I felt myself bridle. “I'm not sure I would put it quite like that.”

She laughed again and I was surprised at how musical it was.

“Lord Frederick, you were trained as a politician and a courtier when you were younger yes?”

“I was.”

“Then surely you are aware of the benefits of a carefully cultivated false reputation.” She sighed. “We have all lost a lot Lord Frederick. Far too much. If you had told me where I would be now, even ten years ago I would have slapped you for cracking a bad joke. I have seen a lot and have been betrayed by many. I have been offended by many more than that. You were not in control of your hallucinations Lord Frederick and I have carefully cultivated an attitude that inspires fear rather than trust.”

She grasped my shoulder.

“I know that I would never betray the Empress. She is too important on so many levels. But that doesn't mean I won't fight her tooth and nail, if I have to or if it's about something I need or want.”

She smiled.

“I liked your sister too Lord Frederick and if she can be found then I will find her. If she can't be found then I will find the people that did this and I will help you end them, on behalf of that poor man that was forced to do the crime if not on Lady Francesca's behalf. This is one of those few circumstances where an out and out wrong has been committed and it must be righted. After years of moral ambiguity it's actually quite refreshing to have it this way rather than having to live in the moral grey areas.”

She touched my shoulder again and moved past me leaving me to pick up my jaw from the floor.

-

It was Princess Dorn who found me next. Sleeping Beauty herself made her own way up the trail to come and find me.

I had changed my viewpoint a little so I could watch out for Kerrass. My suspicion was that as he had told the Empress where to find me, he also might have told a number of other people. A suspicion that was born out by the arrival of Princess Dorn.

She was dressed in a simple dress, devoid of any of the ornate stitch-work or ornamentation that she usually wore. There was no make-up and no jewellery but there was no disguising just how beautiful she is. She walked up, holding her skirts in one hand to where I had already risen to greet her. She also wore a hooded cloak to keep the rain off. When she saw me she stopped moving for a movement, I couldn't see much of her face yet as it was hidden inside the hood. She was carrying one of those folding stools in her other hand.

After a little while, she seemed to make her mind up and approached me.

“May I join you?” she asked after another long period of staring at my face. Her voice seemed hard and brittle to me.

“Please.” She unfolded the stool and perched on it, adjusting her cloak and hood so that she could see me and I her while also doing her best to stay dry.

The gentle rain had begun again a short while after the Empress had left. In all honesty I found that I was enjoying it. I felt as though the world was being reborn in some hard to define way and I had spent a bit of time turning my face towards the water and letting it wash over me.

I might pay for it later when I needed to clean myself up but right then and there it felt good to do so.

I sat before her, crossed my legs and rested my back against the tree. It was a little horrifying to discover that I was no longer as limber as I was and was grateful for the extra back support.

“I'm sorry,” she began. “I should have thought to bring you a seat as well.”

I smiled at her. “If the worst thing that happens over the coming weeks and months is that I should get a muddy arse, then I will be doing quite well.” I was trying for a laugh but it seemed that she was beyond that.

For someone who is, justifiably, thought of as one of, if not the, most beautiful women in the world, the Princess looked absolutely awful. She was always pale but somehow she looked sickly pale at the moment. Huge dark rings under her eyes and those same eyes were bloodshot as though she had been weeping a lot. Now that I was looking for it I found a small tremor in her hands.

“Is everything alright Highness?” I asked.

She laughed bitterly. “I should be asking you that Lord Frederick. You are the one that has lost someone close to....” her voice petered out and she was no longer looking at me. Staring off into the rain mist.

“I'm sorry Lord Frederick. I truly am.”

I decided that the best thing I could do at the moment was to let her talk.

“I've been thinking about this for a while Lord Frederick and I apologise but I decided that I couldn't leave what I have to say unsaid. I can only ask that you hear me out and then, when I'm done, I hope that you can forgive me.”

“Ok,”

She looked at my face for the first time and I could see the tears on her face, almost hidden by the rain but not quite.

“He's devoted to you, you know.” She said after a while.

“Who?” I asked stupidly.

She managed a bitter laugh. “You know that for a clever man you can be incredibly stupid sometimes?”

“It has been said before.”

She nodded. “You're making this difficult.”

She took another deep breath. “I'm talking about Kerrass.”

“I see.” I said carefully. I had the feeling that I was talking to someone who was on the verge of shattering like glass.

“No,” she said. “I don't think you do.” She took another deep breath. “Kerrass is devoted to you. I strongly suspect that he would die for you if you asked him or he would die for you if it meant that it would save your life. He's taken on one of those foolish male things that means he thinks he owes you a great debt.”

She looked away again.

“I know you're going away, tramping through the countryside with him, doing what you need to do to assuage your own sense of guilt and grief over what has happened. And I don't want you to think that I'm unsympathetic. Francesca was kind to me when I arrived at court. She made me feel at ease and relaxed in a way that I hadn't felt since before I went to sleep. So I understand your feelings, I really do. But, I need to say this.”

She looked me square in the eye. She might as well have pinned me to the tree with a dagger as her lips drew back from her teeth in a snarl that looked all the more vicious for the fact that her face was clearly unused to the expression.

“If he dies. If you lead him into some un-winnable battle or if he sacrifices his life to save yours. If you come back from this latest stage of your journey and he does not. Then I will kill you.”

My mouth must have fallen open.

“This is not a joke.” She went on. “This is not some kind of empty threat, nor is it some kind of childish response. If you get him killed? I will see you dead.”

There was a fury in her that I had not seen. I thought I had seen pain, sadness and a certain amount of anguish but now I saw a rage that I will admit, I had not thought that she was capable of.

“I understand.” I said carefully.

“I still don't think you do.” She snarled, her eyes blazing. “Whether I have to spend what little money I have left, trade in some kind of political or economic favour or whatever. I will have you brought to me and I will have your entrails pulled out. I....”

She seemed to fold in on herself as the rage which seemed to have been giving her what strength she needed left her as abruptly as it started.

“I can't lose him too Lord Frederick. I just... I just can't.” The anguish was back in her voice. She was shaking and I finally managed to recognise what was going on with her. The sheer effort of containing her own survivors guilt and her own traumas and her own emotions had taken their toll. Now they were spilling out of her in waves that she just didn't have the strength to control.

She had clenched her hands into fists. Her eyes had lost the shine of Fury and instead she was pleading with me. She shuddered and shook until she had to close her eyes.

Carefully, I got up from my seated position and shuffled over until I could take her into my arms and hold her.

I had forgotten, that despite her age of over one hundred and twenty years, despite her power and her goodness, wisdom, beauty and intelligence. I had forgotten that she was a sixteen year old girl who was now in a strange world surrounded by strange people and all of her friends and family were dead.

“I'm sorry.” I said softly as I began to feel her relax. “I had forgotten and I didn't realise. I'm so sorry.”

She wept for a long time. I don't know how long and I just did my best to comfort her as best as I could. How do you help a person who has been through everything that this young woman had been through? Eventually, by stages though, I could feel her claw her self control back. Or maybe she had run out of emotions just then, I don't know and would be willing to bet that she didn't know the answer to that either.

I pulled away first as I didn't want to overstay my welcome.

“I'm sorry.” She said after another minute or two which she spent cleaning herself up with a handkerchief which she had tucked inside her sleeve. “After everything you and your family have been through the last thing you needed was to have to deal with an angry and upset princess.”

“It's ok.”

“No it's not.” She said. “But thank you for saying it. I should be cheering you on, telling you that I will do anything in my power to help you and telling you that I will do my best to help your other family members through their own grief. I will do all of those things, of course I will but I couldn't get past how angry I am with all of this.”

“It's ok.”

“No, it's not.” She said again. “Goddess but it's so hard to explain.”

“You don't have to explain.”

“Yes I do.” she said sternly, just a hint of her anger coming back through. “Yes I do.”

I realised that my role in this conversation was to listen so I settled back trying to be as gentle as I could.

“Where to begin really?” She, ironically, began. “Ever since I was old enough to remember I've been told that I was going to marry someone. It was like the entire purpose of my being was to marry and produce children for the good of the Kingdom. Beyond that I had no....reason for existence.

“Then I was cursed and I woke up one thousand, two hundred and thirty seven years later to find that this part of my life has, essentially, not changed. Only now it's more desperate. I simply must get married and produce heirs to preserve the future of my Kingdom. I've been out of my enchanted sleep for maybe eight months and already I've met more eligible men of a marriageable age than I could reasonably remember.

“I have hated all of them, with no exceptions and when you write this up, as I know you will, I want you to say that and I want you to tell them why.

“The reason is this. When I look at these people I see one of two things. The first thing is disgust. Rather naively I asked why once and it turns out that to a certain kind of modern noble I am “damaged goods.” I am quaint, and backwards. I have no father or mother to negotiate with and my Kingdom is rather far from the centre of the Empire so the chances of any kind of “society” forming there are slim,”

She sniffed derisively,

“Plus there is the rather obvious problem that I am no longer a virgin and have been the mother to several bastards. The fact that I was raped and that what bastards were sired on me were the product of said rapes doesn't seem to enter into the equation. This has made these people think of me as being damaged goods or “soiled” in some way.

“Their words, not mine,”

I managed to contain my loathing and did my best to keep my face still.

“But that kind of honest disgust is almost better than the other thing that I get to see. That being the expression of lust that comes over them.”

She sobbed a little and looked down at her hands. She seemed to realise that she was wringing them in her dress causing creases and almost hurting herself. She visibly forced herself to let go and place her hands flat on her legs. She was frowning in concentration as she did so.

“Again this breaks down into two kinds of lust. The first kind is when the person doesn't see me. What they see is a child bearing machine that also comes with the ability to refer to themselves as “King” while having access to all of the land, mineral and trade wealth that my nation commands. The fact that “I have a pretty face and a nice pair of tits” is an unexpected bonus.

“Again, I am quoting things that have actually been said, to my face as well as behind my back.

“But then the absolute worst is the expression of raw sexual lust that comes over a man's face when he sees me. It's like they're hungry or something. On more than one occasion I've seen men visibly start to salivate at the prospect of marrying me. I don't think that you men realise how ugly you look when you do that. When your mouth hangs open, your eyes hood themselves and you start to sweat and lose control of your intelligence. I've heard other women describe it as being endearing but I always though of it as being disgusting. Then, after a superhuman effort, I manage to not take offence before making excuses and leaving which is normally when the man's relatives and friends start trotting out the insults about “damaged goods,” and “uncouth whore-bitch.”

“Again, I'm not making those things up.”

I found I was grinding my teeth.

“My subjects look at me with adoration. They don't see the girl, the woman underneath the crown and they need to believe in that otherwise they would look up from what they were doing and realise how desperate our situation is. But other than them, only three men have ever looked at me differently. Only three.”

She looked at me out of the corner of her eye.

“I don't know whether it's because of my history, or what was done to me while I was asleep or because of what I've seen and heard since I woke up but I find I've got astonishingly low standards now when it comes to men. From my perspective the bar is set awfully low but, to date, only three people have passed my little test.

“All a man has to do to catch my eye is to look at me and see me. Not my Kingdom, not my history and not my appearance. That's all. That's not too much to ask is it?

“It sometimes seems so though. I've talked to the Empress and she has the same problem although she admits that she has, at least, known physical affection. She pointed out that as I'm already, provably, not a virgin and no, before you get concerned, I don't blame you for letting that piece of information out of the bag. It was already well known throughout most of the world that I had been raped multiple times.

“She asked why I don't take a lover or something. I told her that I was a bit young for that sort of thing wasn't I?

“She looked at me strangely as I recall.

“But I don't have that luxury. My reputation is the reputation of my Kingdom. I don't have the Imperial armies to back me up if I feel insulted or upset by someone. All there is, is me.

“I've left the topic.

“Only three men have ever looked at me the way I want to be looked at, where they see a person rather than...something else.

“One of those people is you.”

I very carefully said nothing.

“Unfortunately, Your heart is given elsewhere and the lady in question is someone I hold in high esteem which killed the idea of any kind of romance for me almost as soon as the thought occurred. I did, briefly explore whether your brother Samuel was cut from a similar cloth as yourself but no...I like your brother but there was something about him that just made my skin crawl.”

I was still telling myself that I should never lose an opportunity to keep my mouth shut.

“Another person was Sir Thomas of the Imperial Guard.” She nearly sobbed again. “I understand that you were with him when he died.”

I nodded again. The memory was still fresh for me and a lump had grown in my throat.

“I'm sorry,” she said, gently enough to break my heart. “I didn't mean to bring up painful memories.”

“No, it's ok. I didn't know you and he knew each other.”

“Only in passing. I met him at one of the early balls. It was plain that he had a bit of a crush on your sister but he was kind, gentle, intelligent and funny. I made some discreet enquiries and discovered that he was part of the Imperial royal family, albeit a distant one. I made some more enquiries in the way of such things, his mother told me that he didn't think he had a chance with me which explained some of his attitude towards me but I found that I liked it.

“Then he died. I didn't even know him, not really anyway but I've taken his death hard.”

“I'm sorry.”

“I know and I've been working every day to convince myself that it wasn't your fault. To feel a bit less guilty that it was you that was with him as he died rather than me but.... I didn't know him but I miss him. I miss your sister too. She was kind to me when she didn't need to be.”

“She would be.”

“But the only person left, who treats me like a person rather than my rank, my looks or my lands. The only person left is Kerrass. I can't lose him too Freddie.”

I didn't say anything.

“I know that I'm sixteen. I know that this might well be just some kind of teenage crush, made worse by the fact that he has properly saved my life and watched over me for many many years. He's handsome to look at and he is kind to me. He....He cares Freddie. He loves me. Not my body, not my land or my rank. He loves me.”

The tears stood out in her eyes.

“I don't know if this is love that I feel. I don't know if this is some kind of childish infatuation or what the fuck it is but at the same time I know that if I lost him as well as everything else that I have lost I... I don't know if I could.... I don't know if I would survive it Freddie. I don't know if I could....”

I put my arms round her again and she sobbed.

“You probably think this is all incredibly childish of me.” She said.

“No. No I don't.” I said. “No-one, least of all me knows even a fraction of what you've been through or what you're going through. If I may though?”

“What?”

“Have you thought about talking about this to someone?”

“Who could I possibly talk to?”

I sighed. “Just off the top of my head. The Empress, Emma, Laurelen, Ariadne, your mother,” the mental imagine of the Princess talking to Maleficent about her woes crossed my mind suddenly. “Well maybe not your mother. She might hunt down and torch every idiotic man on the continent. I apologise on behalf of my gender by the way.”

“So it might be a good idea after all,” I was relieved to see some of her humour coming back. Even if it was just a little part.

“Where was I...Ah yes. A priest of some kind. I would suggest a priestess of Melitele as they tend to be a lot more understanding when it comes to this kind of thing. I understand that you still have Marion to talk to”

“Marion doesn't understand. She thinks that a lot of the societal rules about monogomy, romance, polygamy, sex and all the realms in between are a little....I'm, going to say unusual. She would ask whether my problem is a physical one before offering to make arrangements.”

“The mind boggles.” I commented.

The Princess giggled. “I'll tell her you said that.”

“Please do. Give her my best.”

“I will.”

“My point though, Highness, is that you don't have to carry this burden on your own. Share the load a little. Add me to the list of people that you can talk to if you want. I'm sure you can convince a Sorceress to get word to me. Speaking of Sorceresses, Madame Yennefer has forgotten more about how Witcher's work than I have ever known. If you want some insight into Kerrass' mindset then you could do worse than talking to her.”

“All good points. And I do feel better for talking about it.”

“Good. Some more uncomfortable points now. Have you talked to Kerrass about how you feel?”

“I didn't have to.” She said, wiping her face again. “He knew somehow. I think it's another reason that he's chosen to go travelling with you again. He thinks that some time apart might change my mind about him.... He might be right after all of that. He says that we can't be together. That he is a Witcher and that I am a Princess and that just won't work. It doesn't help that he's right.”

I blew some air out of my lungs.

“Look,” I said. “I love Kerrass like a brother. In many ways I love him more than my brothers and I want more than anything to see him happy. I know that he loves you.”

“I do too.”

“But I also know that he sometimes enjoys torturing himself with his past history. He hates himself for so much of it, including what he allowed to happen to you.”

She opened her mouth to protest.

“I know, I know. That wasn't his fault. If he'd fought, he would have died and then not be able to come back and help wake you up. But he likes to torture himself. There's a lot of darkness in his past and he hates himself for that. I don't know what I'm saying here but I think it's possible that he might be depriving himself of your company to punish himself for his own stupid....so very stupid....reasons.

“That's not to say that he's wrong. You are a Princess and he's a Witcher. But another reason that he might feel uncomfortable is the fact that, you might be over one hundred and twenty years old but you still look sixteen and he is....”

“Older? I know.”

“So give him some time. And give yourself some time as well. I do remember being sixteen and I know you want everything yesterday while also realising how childish you can sometimes be. Believe me I remember the feeling well. But give yourself time.”

I laughed. “When I was sixteen I was absolutely besotted with a woman. You'll like her. Her name's Shani and she's a doctor in Oxenfurt. I was convinced that we were going to spend the rest of our lives together and raise many happy children. It took me two years to ask her out and although she did it gently, she broke my heart. I remember that my tutor gave me a version of this speech and it didn't help me then as I'm sure it's not helping you now. But now, Shani is a good friend of mine and I am engaged to be married to a higher vampire who I'm madly in love with. The world is a funny place.”

“I know. I'm sorry.”

“Finally....” I grinned slyly, “You are the Queen of Dorn. The only person more powerful than you in your realm is the Empress. If you decide that it's ok for things to be reversed and that all you need is some kind of consort whose only job is to make you pregnant occasionally while you do all of the ruling. Then you can do that. Get the Empress to back you up. Have your mother standing nearby grinning at the poor man. I guarantee that he won't complain if you then go off and have “adventures” with whoever you like. And if people don't like that? Fuck 'em. Your people will refuse to follow anyone else anyway.

“Or alternatively. Get your mother to have a word.”

She laughed at the idea.

“Lastly,” I ventured. “I will say this. And I don't want you to think that I'm being self-serving here, although I am a little.”

“What is it?”

“Kerrass makes his own choices. It was him that suggested that we depart on the road. It was him that has come up with a list of places for us to go and people for us to visit. I will do my best to defend him, the same as I would ever do, but he's a big man now. He makes his own choices and sometimes, he doesn't like being looked after.”

“I know. I know all of that. But I was, and am a little, still so very angry. Not just at you but the entire world. At my parents for getting me in this mess. At you for taking Kerrass from me. For Jack from taking Thomas from me. All of the little injustices that are not my fault but are also not the fault of those people that I find that I blame. They all mount up and I don't know what to do with them.”

“I know. I'm so sorry.”

“I'm sorry too. More than I can say. I'm so sorry about your sister. As I say. I liked her, I would have liked to know her better. I think we could have been friends if we had had the time, you know, to know each other a little better.”

I nodded.

We hugged again and it seemed that we had both run out of things to say. She gathered up her chair, swore at it a little as she remembered how to fold it up. Gave me a sad little wave before setting off to go back to town.

I had to turn away and have a little cry myself, for a while.

-

In the end, the search for my sister began to peter out after four weeks as the Knights Errant, the Imperial forces and just about everyone else began to report in to the palace that she couldn't be found in Toussaint.

The final report was delivered to the Empress five weeks and six days after she disappeared and she accepted the report calmly and utterly without facial expression. She read it twice. Calmly and quietly. At the end she had a few questions for the knights and officers in command of the search before dismissing all of us to be alone with her thoughts.

Shortly after that we received word that the Empress had decided to leave Toussaint and head back to the capital city of Nilfgaard of the golden towers and that her escort and bureaucracy needed to be ready to move within the week.

Apparently the search of Toussaint as a whole uncovered the culprits of one murder: A woman had discovered that her abusive husband had arranged for her younger lover to be killed and had buried him in a ditch. The searchers had dug up the grave thinking that it might have been Francesca but were disappointed. The woman was awaiting trial when I left and I haven't heard anything since.

As well as this, the search uncovered three petty smuggling operations of relatively minor importance. People selling expensive wine before it was properly aged and passing it off as the real thing. They also routed six bandit camps and dislodged a larger bandit force that had, apparently, been troubling the countryside for some time.

There were also two brothels that were acting illegally. Prostitution is legal in Toussaint but the operation has to be run according to the safety of the prostitutes. These two brothels were the kind of place that nobles who think of themselves as being “above the law,” went to to rough up the girls and boys a little bit. They also found a necromancer who could just about animate a rabbit and a local branch of the cult of the Lion headed spider.

All of these things were found but absolutely no sign of my sister. It was as though she had vanished into thin air.

As far as I could tell, as the Empress had let me read a copy of the report, there was no question that hadn't been asked when it came to the local investigation. Divers had searched the river as completely as they could with the help of the lady Keira Metz. It was suggested that Francesca could have drifted out to sea but that was deemed unlikely as the prevalent currents nearly always meant that anything the size of a body would be caught in the fisherman's nets or would float elsewhere where it would have been found long before it got to the sea.

One of the things that Toussaint boasts is it's own resident Witcher. A strand of the search had questioned whether or not my sister could have been taken and dumped into a nest of Necrophages and as such there wouldn't be anything left to find. Lord Geralt had argued that there are no Necrophage nests in the Duchy that would consume an entire body in one go. If there were Necrophages out and about, he suggested, then they would keep some of the body back to be enjoyed later in leaner times which meant that something would have been found.

The ships that had been in port had been one of the first things that had been searched and there was no sign of her. Orders had been given and the mouth of the river had been blockaded by the Imperial navy and nothing had got out to sea so the theory that a small fisherman's boat could have been loaded up with the body and sent out to sea was denied.

I read the report with great interest. I read it carefully and slowly, making notes about questions that I had and then crossed out the questions when it would turn out that that question had also been asked and answered later in the report. When I was done, I tore it up into the smallest pieces that I could manage and threw them on the fire before going out and getting as drunk as I've ever gotten in my life. Drunker than that time I had declared my undying love for Dr Shani in Oxenfurt and she had gently turned me down. Drunker than I got at my farewell party before departing on the road to meet Kerrass. Drunker than at my Fathers wake.

I got so drunk that I don't know how I got home that night and when I woke up, I was so ill that my kidney's actually hurt.

So drunk that it took me two days to recover.

It was that day that Kerrass came to me and came up with our plan. He told me that the Empress, Lord Voorhis and Nilfgaard as a whole would be handling the mundane investigation. That they would be chasing up political suspects and discussing the matter with nations and ambassadors, with nobles and merchants. He said that every avenue large and small from our families past would be investigated, from Francesca's past at court and he argued that no-one was more qualified to do those things than the Imperial Intelligence Service as led by Lord Voorhis.

That left the magical investigation. It was clear and obvious that the only way that Frannie could have dissappeared so comprehensively was by arcane means. That this was done in a way that circumvented the shield that the Lodge of Sorceresses had put over the city meant that this was a type of magic that ran contrary to established laws of magic and the Lodge were concerned by this. Justifiably so. That meant that they would be investigating the magical implications of my sisters disappearance and that no-one was more qualified than the Lodge of Sorceresses to investigate the magical aspect of the investigation.

But.

There was one element of investigation that was missing. That element was the monstrous element. He argued that, just because it was obvious that there was a magical element to Frannie's disappearance that suggested that an intelligence was behind the disappearance did not mean that the disappearance was masterminded by a government or magic user. He pointed out that there had just been another Conjunction of spheres which meant that there could be something new out there. Something Monstrous. He suggested that we had made enemies of several monstrous things and people during our travels. He said that, although we had both given our record of travel to both sides of the investigation, that there were things, places and Sources that only we knew about. Places that we could go and talk to. Enemies that we could pursue.

When I asked who I had in mind he talked about the Kalayn cult in the north. The lands of which he was still engaged by Sammy to go and investigate. He suggested Lord Fuck-face of Angral who had, thankfully, gotten the magic to control Ariadne wrong all that time ago. Where did he get those ideas from? He also suggested that just because Jack didn't care and the beast of Amber's crossing had been banished, didn't meant that there were other creatures and beings out there of similar power level that might hold a grudge.

He said words like “Schattenmann” and “Horseman.” he also said that he had other sources that could be questioned. People and places that neither the Intelligence service, nor the Lodge of Sorceresses would consider contacting.

But we could.

Of course I took him up on the offer. I desperately needed to do something. Anything to feel useful, to feel as though I was doing...something.

But then I found that I didn't want to go. The strangest of feelings came over me. I was the last Coulthard still in residence in Toussaint.

Emma and Sam had gone first, taking Laurelen with them. The Imperial Investigators (the fact that they were referring to themselves as “The Imperial Auditors” was not encouraging) wanted to go through the business dealings to try and figure out if the family had annoyed anyone in particular from that angle. They also wanted to go through our correspondence as well as Father's historical correspondence and talk to many of our immediate neighbours.

I had asked the Empress to see if I could have a look at that report as well when it was done but she declined.

Mark went next. He had stayed for a while, resisting the pressure to leave and get back to his ministry. He sent the Investigators off with his own private secretary with orders that they could look at, read and talk to whoever and whatever they like. But the church delegation left about a week later and as Mark couldn't come up with another excuse to stay. He left.

Which left me. The Archchancellor had also gone a little while ago and had told me that I should take as much time as I needed. He did suggest that if I was going to be taking my time to go back to Oxenfurt then I might begin by gathering material for another book. I made non-committal noises and he clapped me on the shoulder in farewell.

The palace was running out of people that I knew. The Lodge of Sorceresses were going back to their places of power to return to their original research, jobs or to better work to understand the new form of magic that had entered the world and now I was the only Coulthard there. Now that the Empress was making preparations to leave, the Duchess was shifting the way things worked to be more in lone with the vision of knighthood and security that the Empress had set out for Toussaint.

She was taking no prisoners either.

But despite the almost constant queue of Knights Errant who would come to me and swear oaths, often still on the heron, that they wouldn't rest until Francesca was found and her kidnappers brought to justice. I found that I didn't want to leave.

I was being irrational and I knew it. I wanted to be here when they found her. I wanted her to know that I had never given up on her. That I had waited in Toussaint until she turned up. I suspect that this was part of what had held Mark back as well. Emma and Sam were more people of action and felt that they could best help Frannie by going and doing what they needed to do. But I am a romantic and I kept fantasising that she would be found. Held prisoner somewhere and that she would be brought back to Toussaint where I would catch her in my arms and make sure that no-one ever hurt her again.

It was ridiculous and the fact that I knew that made it worse.

But then the scene would play out in my brain, over and over again. The Empress, pale as a sheet in her dark blue overcoat looking up at the investigators. “So she's not here then?”

“No your majesty.” The Empress had nodded before turning and dismissing us all.

I was being pointless. I was being useless and that hurt.

So abruptly, one day I rose from my bed and instead of dressing in my court finery I dressed in my newly purchased travelling clothes, took up my pack and my spear and left without looking back. I sent a messenger to Kerrass as to where he should meet me and that he should get supplies and I walked up the hill to wait.

-

The next person I saw was Kerrass. But he was not the next person that found me.

I was still sat leaning against the same tree. After watching the Princess head down the slope I must have dozed because I woke up suddenly with a hugely stiff neck. I managed to climb to my feet and stretch in an effort to get the kinks out and was just settling down to look down the path. In the distance, still some distance away, Kerrass was stood with two horses. He had his steel sword on his back and his equipment over his own horse that he had presumably brought from somewhere as well as buying my gear and strapping it to a riding horse that I had given him the money to buy for me.

When the time came to leave, I found that I just didn't want to go into town at all. I wanted privacy and secrecy.

I stared down at him as he was still quite a way down the path, standing still. He looked frustrated, maybe a little bored. He saw that I had finally noticed him and raised an arm to point. I followed his gesture to a small group of bushes that wasn't that far away from me.

At first I didn't see it. I even looked back at Kerrass to see if I had missed something before, rather impatiently, he gestured again.

Then I saw it. The bush was moving against the wind. Only slightly but with enough force that I could track it.

There was someone in the bushes moving back and forth.

I hung my head as a wave of shame engulfed me.

“You can come out.” I called over.

The movement in the bush stopped abruptly.

I sighed and felt a smile begin to threaten my mouth.

“Please?” I asked.

Slowly, Ariadne's face came into view, peering through and round the undergrowth. I was again reminded of small, wild animals checking round corners to see if it was safe. When she saw that I had seen her she straightened out of view before walking out into the open.

Her hands were visibly trembling.

I didn't know what to do.

“I....” she began. “I would like to talk to you. If...you know....if that's ok.”

“Of course it's ok. Do you want to come a bit closer?”

She shook her head sharply.

“What's wrong?” I asked her taking a step towards her. My arms were aching and I realised that I was fighting the urge to hug her. Then I wondered why I was fighting the urge. I took another step forward and she held up a hand to stop me.

“Please don't.” She pleaded. “Please.” She was trembling so hard her teeth were actively chattering. I came here to apologise.”

I must have laughed in astonishment. If I could have chosen the absolute worst thing that I could have done, it was that one. She recoiled as if I had slapped her.

“I'm sorry,” she said. Looking at her feet. “I'm so sorry.”

“Sorry? What are you sorry for? I should be the one apologising to you. Fucking hell, I should be on my knees begging for you not to hate me,” I told her although I don't think she believed me. “I was about to run off to see if I could find the people that took Frannie from us. I want to say something like....”I wanted to protect you,” or something despite how blatantly ridiculous that is,”

I risked another step towards her. “Ariadne what do you have to be sorry for.”

“I wasn't with you.” She said in a small voice. “I didn't think, I should have been there with you, I didn't help you through this and then when you just left I thought....I thought I had done it wrong.”

“Done what wrong.”

“Being your betrothed. Your fiancée. I should have sat with you and...and...been with you and been there to comfort you and.... But I thought that that was useless. I thought that, you already had so many friends and family around you that I would be superfluous and unwanted. I thought I could do much more for you by concentrating on finding the people that did this.”

She took a deep breath and the trembling visibly stopped. She clasped her hands before her. She was wearing the flowing black robe, formless and shifting that she had worn when we first met her although now I could tell that there was a woman under there and that the cloth was a lot more real. I saw past her that her staff was propped against a tree.

“I came to tell you that I have made a decision.” She told me, her voice was calmer and more still. I wondered if she had put up an illusion or if her sudden calmness was because she had come to the rehearsed part of the speech.

“I have talked with Maleficent.” She said. “and we have agreed that there is a flavour to the magic that was used to take your sister that we recognise. It is very old Frederick. Very very old and... your language doesn't have the word for it. Calling it evil would be wrong...It is....wrong. The elves would call it...llygredig anghywir which is still not quite right but it's closer.”

My mouth moved as I worked out the words. “Corrupt.” I said, “I think. I haven't heard the term before.”

“No, no-one has. As I say, it's the closest I can get to. Maleficent and I both agree that such magic cannot be allowed to become prevalent again. My people, and hers worked hard to destroy it. Long before I was born, or she was, but we need to work to prevent these things from being learned again.”

She took another breath.

“So I have decided that I am going to take Lady Yennefer and Lady Eilhart up on their invitation to join the Lodge of Sorceresses. Maleficent has also joined under the understanding that the ladies will work to help preserve the draconic race as much as possible. They think I have done this because I want to help them find this...”

her mouth twisted suddenly into a crooked smile. My heart ached.

“...this new form of old magic but that's not quite true.”

She took another breath. “The real reason is that I want to help you find your sister. Find out what happened to her. I owe you that much.”

She almost sobbed that last.

“I'm so sorry Lord Frederick. So very sorry. I...I should have been there for you.”

She took another breath.

“I will understand if you want to call of our engagement....”

Please believe me when I say that somewhere, inside my skull, I was screaming at myself.

“... or.... or if you want to delay our wedding until this matter is resolved. No matter how long that might be.”

She took off the engagement ring and held it out to me.

I was frozen to the spot. I could hear an odd rushing in my ears and I nearly staggered.

She lowered her gaze. “I see,” She said and placed the ring on the floor. “I'll leave it there. It was very beautiful.”

She turned away and moved towards our staff.

I stood there for what felt like centuries. I have no excuse but it was though there was a pressure on my skull and the trees were pushing in around me. I felt as though I was falling.

I could hear the voice in the back of my head screaming at me. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING. SEIZE THE MOMENT. SEIZE THE WOMAN OR LOSE HER FOREVER, FOOL.”

“Wait,” I heard myself say. Far too quietly. “Wait,” I said again and stepped forwards, scooping up the ring as I came. There was a bit of mud on it from where she had put it on the ground and I brushed some water off the leaves to clean it before I caught hold of her. “Please wait.”

She had turned back. The look of haunted, hunted terror was back in her eyes.

“Don't go.” I said. “Please.” I fell to my knees and I realised that I was weeping. “I'm sorry. You don't have to be sorry. I'm the one who has to be sorry. I let you down, please don't go.” I was babbling and I knew it. “I can't lose you. Not now. Not ever, please don't go.”

Tears obscured my vision before darkness blotted out the light as her arms and her dress came down and wrapped me up in an embrace. “I'm sorry.” I babbled. “I'm sorry, I shouldn't have neglected you. I've been so wrapped up in...Please, I can't lose you. Please don't leave.”

“I thought you wanted me to...”

“Never. Never. Never.”

“Oh, I'm so sorry, please don't cry.”

I laughed then.

“We're...” I managed between giggles. “We're going to have to get better at this “talking to each other” thing aren't we.”

She was kneeling in the mud with me. She was trembling again, violently.

“Yes,” she said through chattering teeth. “I suppose we must.”

“Just for the record.” I said. “I love you. I don't want you to go away. I should have talked to you. I should have but I've been too locked up in my own head to come and find you.”

“I thought you were angry with me.”

“I wasn't. I was just...not thinking. I am so, so sorry and I promise that I will work on that.”

“Right,” she nodded but she still looked miserable. I wondered if vampires weep but now didn't seem the right time to ask.

“But I've been doing a bit of rational thinking up here today.” I said. I had as it turned out, much to my surprise. “And I need to come to terms with an uncomfortable fact. That fact is that Francesca is gone and she is probably never coming back. That's if she is even alive which I am coming to doubt.”

A small sob escaped my throat at that and it took me a while to get my voice back under control enough to speak.

“I'm going to look for her now. The Lodge and the Imperials are doing the same.”

“I'll come with you.” She began.

“No, you are right. If this is old magic and an older threat then you need to help the Lodge understand it. You will do more good there.

“But.” I reached down and took hold of her hands and shut my eyes. I realised that we were resting our foreheads against each other. “I also have to come to terms with the very real possibility that we might never find her. Or the people that did this. It might just be something simple or it might be nothing at all. I don't want to wait that long.”

I managed to get hold of her left hand and slipped the ring back onto her hand.

“I want to marry you. I love you. I wouldn't have asked if I didn't know that I wanted to marry you. I want to get over my fear. I want to see you laugh and I want... Flame but I want so many things.”

It was her turn to sob.

“So.” I said, sniffing through the tears. “I want you to get together with Emma, and the Empress seems to want to get involved now but get together with them all and I want you to set a date. Give me a year. Two years at most. I like the idea of an autumn wedding so that we can have a cosy winter somewhere, getting to know each other properly.”

“So not this autumn coming but the autumn after that?”

“That sounds right. Is that ok?”

She nodded. She looked confused, caught between joy, shock, terror and astonishment.

“Good. I love you Ariadne.”

“I love you too Freddie.”

I took a deep breath. “May I kiss you?”

“What?” Now she definitely looked shocked and brushed some damp hair from her face. “Now? But I look a mess.”

“Not a mess, beautiful.” I stroked some of the water from her cheek.

She nodded again. Still looking a little bewildered. I took another deep breath and leant in before the fear could come back and I changed my mind.

It was...special. I'll say no more than that.

It left us both trembling a little bit when we were done despite it being remarkably chaste really.

“I....I'd better go.” She said after a while. “Kerrass has been very patient waiting for us.”

“He has, hasn't he.”

We giggled together like children. A nine-hundred year old vampire and a professor of the university of Oxenfurt.

We rose. She brushed ineffectually at the mud patches on a dress before scowling at them until they vanished, presumably out of embarrassment. She took up her staff and turned back to me.

“I love you Lord Frederick.” She said it with a strange kind of amazement on her face as though she was astonished that the words were coming out of her own mouth.

“I love you too.”

She turned away and walked off, her form dissolving into smoke as she went. Dissipating in the wind and the rain.

I don't know how long I stood there.

“Well done Freddie.” Kerrass said.

I jumped and he sniggered.

“I don't mind you sneaking up on me Kerrass but how did you manage to get the horses to move that quietly.”

“Trade secret. You ready to go?”

“I don't know. Is there anyone else that you told where I was?”

“No.”

“Then I think we're ready to go.”

“Good.” He swung himself into his saddle. And held the other horses reins while I got into mine.

“Kerrass, before we go.”

“Yes Freddie.”

“I want you to know something.” I said staring up into the sky.

“I know Freddie, I know.”

“No, this time I don't think you do.”

“Oh?”

“I'm engaged to be married now.”

“Yes you are and I already knew that.”

“I want you to be my best man. I don't think I've talked to you about it yet.”

He spluttered and stared at me in proper stunned shock. “But Mark....and Sam. You have brothers.”

I grinned at him. “Oh they'll be there. But on my wedding day, there's no-one I'd rather have standing at my side than you.” I held my hand out.

Kerrass stared at it for a moment before taking it and shaking my hand firmly. “Thank you Freddie. Thank you.”

We rode in silence for the rest of the day, riding north. I suppose we both had things to think about. We slept in one of the inns on the outskirts of the Duchy, it being far too late in the day to make it to the border. We were just finishing dinner when Kerrass laughed suddenly.

“You know what this means?” He said slyly.

“What?”

“I get to plan your stag night.”

I paused for thought.

“I didn't really think this through did I.”