“There is a book,” She went on after a moment. “It is one of the few books on philosophy that we have. It was there when I entered the ranks of the attendants and I suspect that it will be there long after I am dead. According to the librarian, I am one of the less than ten people that have read it since it came into our possession. There is a statement that says ‘All that evil needs to exist is for good people to do nothing’. I agree with that but it was not that statement that caused me the trouble. The one that sears my soul as I sit here before you is this. It says, ‘the greatest evil that a man can commit is to force another to commit evil’. That is what we do. Every time. And we are grateful for it.
“Now there are excuses. Of course, there are. We justify it to ourselves and to others. We tell ourselves that the outside world is harsh and that we are just trying to survive, the same as you are. But we have never made the effort to go and see how true that statement is. It’s been hundreds of years since we got here. Is it still that bad out there? We don’t know. You tell tales of an Empress that may be understanding of our plight. We have no idea if that is true or not, so we should go and look. Send some of the more… human-looking dryads, those that came to it after being made into dryads later in life… Yew-Branch, your Trayka, would be perfect for it. We should go and look. Would the outside world accept us?
“We tell ourselves that we are not forcing the men that come to us to sleep with our women. Of course, we are, what a ridiculous statement. Of course, we are. People have honestly, looked me in the eye and said ‘the men could always refuse’ and looked confused when I counter with the statement that ‘a choice between living and dying is no choice at all.
“We also delude ourselves into thinking that we do not force our women to participate in all of this horror. We tell ourselves that no one has to do these things, no one has to lie with the men that come through here. No one has to have a daughter. But all that time we are being told that the survival of us as a species depends on us doing precisely that. It’s the same conundrum that you faced. If things are a choice between doing something awful or dying, which would you choose? Not that anyone particularly thinks that what we’re doing is awful but that’s not the point.
“We put all these things in the way of those people that don’t want to have a daughter or don’t want to let a man get anywhere near them. It is not lost on me that my career as an Attendant of the Schattenmann has come on in leaps and bounds since I agreed to be with you. So that is something else that I resent and hate. It’s not because I’m better than the rest, that I know more than the rest or that I’m more powerful than the rest. I can’t answer for the first one but I know that the last two points are true. But the first time that I am included in a ritual comes in the ritual after I agree to lie with a man.
“Year after year after year I’ve seen it were less qualified, less powerful, knowledgeable, less…. Less has been promoted over me because they have daughters. Did you know that there is not a single leader of our society, not a single person in any kind of authority that hasn’t had a daughter?
“Of course, you don’t, how could you?
“Our opinions are dismissed because ‘we don’t have that perspective’ and they’re right, we don’t. But does that make all the knowledge that I have redundant? Does that make all of the experience that Apple-Seed has with patrolling our borders, keeping us safe from poachers, monsters and invaders, does that make everything she knows, all of that experience, redundant?
“Man of Shadows but I hope that the love I have for that woman is a genuine thing. She has, against common wisdom and single-handedly, created a fighting style that means that you no longer have to be tall in order to fight. Where strength is not as much of an advantage as speed and accuracy of movement. You have no frame of reference for what that would take, to invent a new fighting style, but that woman is a fucking miracle and she doesn’t know it. Shadows but I hope that my love for her is real. She is an amazing woman.
“Yes, we murdered your friend, Yew-Branch’s father. We did it to make a point, to warn you, your Witcher companion who I am educated enough to know is not really our captive. If that man chose to fight his way free then there is not a lot that we could do to stop him. He might have been at a disadvantage when he didn’t know what he was up against, but now that he knows…?”
She shook her head.
“And it’s torturing me to know, that I look over at you now and I can see your heart breaking at the fact that you now, not entirely incorrectly, think that I have told you that I would rather you have killed yourself than allowed yourself to be mated to me. I can see it and I am so sorry. It’s not you. I love you. But this society that we live in. This thing that we are forcing you to do… It’s evil. It’s so evil and I am scared. So very scared that the fruit of that evil seems so wonderful to me. That the daughter which I am confident I will come to bear. The love and affection that I feel for both of you will be poisoned because of it.
“We killed a man for a warning. But it is the very least of our crimes. We need to change, we have to change. Because if we don’t, we are truly damned.”
She stopped speaking then. I didn’t know if there was any more so I waited a little while but then she turned to look out into the forest. I wanted to hug her and to comfort her in some way but something in my gut, something that reminded me that she was scared of that love being poisoned, meant that it would be taken badly and after all… who can blame her.
I went around the house a little way and found a little area to have a quiet weep to myself.
Not long after that, I felt slim arms wrapped around me and we held each other for a long while as we both wept until we couldn’t anymore.
Turns out that Yew-Branch, Trayka as was, was not in any shape to see us yet but she thought that she could see us in another couple of days. In turn, Apple-Seed had taken her spears and her javelin, had borrowed the Weapons-Mistress and had been training, hard, in order to give Chestnut-Shell and I some space to work things out. All three of us were quiet that night and we clung to each other fiercely as it turned out that we were still not quite out of tears.
I didn’t sleep for a long time after the other two fell into an exhausted slumber. As I lay there and tried to make sense of the tumbling thoughts in my head, I eventually made a choice and slept. I woke up early, before the other two women and I had to carefully extricate myself from the tangle of limbs. I took that opportunity to do the oft-threatened task of making them breakfast and when they emerged they were shocked and surprised. I told Chestnut-Shell to go off and do whatever religious rituals that she needed to do before sitting them both down and feeding them.
That oldest of tricks.
When we had done, Apple-Seed went to go to do her training, but I caught her wrist and pushed her back into a chair. Then I beckoned to Chestnut-Shell to join us and the three of us sat together facing each other.
“Right then,” I began. “So what needs to happen to make this place better? What needs to happen to heal the wounds of your society? And then, how are we going to do that?”
For a moment, just a moment, I saw despair in Chestnut-Shell’s eyes. At that moment, to her, it was a huge task, an impossible task.
Then Apple-Seed spoke, the age-old pragmatism of the warrior.
“Well it starts with us, doesn’t it. First with the three of us, then Chestnut-Shell and I and then all of us with all of our children.”
She said it so obviously, so plainly that it seemed so obvious when she said it like that.
“I know your fear.” She told Chestnut-Shell. “I do, and I understand it. I have spent enough time by myself now, and I am pretty good at self-reflection. I know that I could very easily fall for you Chestnut-Shell. If I haven’t already. But even if we don’t, or can’t, go in that direction. You are my sister in this and I will not be swayed from that. If you try to ignore me and put me out of your life, I will fucking stalk you until you agree to be, at least, my friend again.”
And the despair started to leave Chestnut-Shell’s eyes.
“I had not looked for, nor had I seen all the evil that you describe in our society.” Apple-Seed went on. “Where you see stagnation, I had seen a thriving community, but that doesn’t mean that you are wrong. How do we change that, well… I am going to be made master of scouts. I have decided that. It’s good to have an ambition in life beyond motherhood. I am going to go to Flax-Seed today, if not I will go tomorrow, and I will tell her that I want her job and that I am prepared to work for it.
“In the meantime, you should find the head of the Attendants and tell her that you, Chestnut-Shell, mean to have her job on the council, or some other job that helps you be one of the ones that make the decisions for all of us.”
I nodded. “It would give me great pleasure, going forward, if I knew that the two of you were together on this, even if the romance doesn’t last.”
“If it doesn’t last,” Apple-Seed said fiercely, “It will not be because we, or I at least, didn’t try hard enough. You hear that Chestnut-Shell. We might have come together for bad reasons but there would be nothing nobler than if we turned that into something beautiful.”
Chestnut-Shell nodded.
“I have a suggestion,” I said. “You have both defined yourselves by those people that disagree with you, or who have been holding you back. Surely, not everyone is so fanatical, there must be some people that share your views, or at least, are open to listening to them?”
Both women nodded.
“Well?” Apple-Seed demanded of the other Dryad. “What ideas do you have? You are the cleverest person here and yet the male and I are doing most of the heavy lifting.”
Chestnut-Shell laughed. There was a release in that laughter.
“I am going to petition the Schattenmann to allow Freddie here to keep his memories.” She said. “He might not listen, he might not care. But we need someone to make contact with the other dryads and this Empress of his to see if we can be part of the wider world.”
I nodded enthusiastically. I wasn’t sure how practical that thought was but I sensed that Chestnut-Shell needed the confidence. I was not the only one that shared that thought though as the woman herself had more.
“We, the dryads, need to start being part of the wider community of the Black Forest. Being free to choose our own mates AND giving them room to turn us down. We need to be able to help them when they need it, and we need to be comfortable asking for help when we need it.”
“Good,” I said. “What else can we do and how do we go about it?”
We spoke for a long time and when we were done, all three of us were speaking enthusiastically.
“Come here both of you,” Chestnut-Shell told us at the end, tears of a different kind in her eyes now. “You saved me from a dark pit and I would thank you for it until we cannot walk.”
I’m sure you can imagine what happened after that.
As I say though, Yew-Branch was not ready for visitors yet. When the three of us had finished with each other, we went for a walk. First, Apple-Seed took us to see Flax-Seed and we were there while the two of them had that conversation. It was not the rousing success that we might have hoped for, but nor was Flax-Seed completely adverse to the prospect of Apple-Seed wanting to take on more responsibility.
Flax-Seed was surprised by the newfound determination and confidence in Apple-Seed though which I thought was nice to see. It meant that my lessons on the matter were beginning to pay off. The long and short of the conversation gave me the idea that, maybe, those women that said that a dryad needed to have a child before they could ascend to a higher position of responsibility within the greater dryad society might have had a point.
Flax-Seed told Apple-Seed not to develop too many ambitions on the grounds that “motherhood changes everything.” The way she said it was long and it was more convoluted than that, but what it basically said was that once Apple-Seed was pregnant, let alone when she had given birth, she might find that her priorities would change as everything would move towards the protection of that daughter. One brief moment of triumph and raw approval in Flax-Seed’s eyes came when Apple-Seed told her that it was in thinking about her daughter that made her want to get more involved.
Flax-Seed’s eyes shone with pride for a moment before she carefully pushed the expression down and repeated the warning.
Then we went our separate ways. Apple-Seed led us both around the building to a private area before she collapsed on herself a little bit and started sucking down huge lungfuls of air.
“Man of shadows but that was hard.” She said. “This whole posture of confidence thing…”
She shuddered.
“Worked though, didn’t it,” I told her while Chestnut-Shell kept a lookout.
“Shadowman’s great and veiny cock, but I had to look up at her and all I could imagine was that she was going to laugh at me before sneering.” Apple-Seed closer her eyes and focused on her breathing to calm herself down. “Shade me, but I haven’t felt this way since my first real fight.”
“It was a first fight,” I told her. “The first fight on a separate battleground.”
“Does it ever get any easier?”
“Did fighting?”
“No.” She admitted. “Fighting gets worse. It’s just that I know what to expect more now.”
“It doesn’t get easier,” I told her. “Although it’s strange, one day, you will just realise that that is the way that you walk now, that is the way that you talk. You will notice that the world is treating you differently and it will redouble your use of the tools. Then is the moment of danger, as your newfound confidence can turn into arrogance. You must remind yourself of the truth every so often and remember that it takes work. A warrior told me that.”
Apple-Seed nodded. “Just because you can use a spear now doesn’t mean that you should stop training.” She said.
I nodded. “And you should always be careful who you turn your weapons on for fear that you become a bully. It is very easy that, when you learn to use the spear, every problem starts to look like it can be solved with that spear.”
Chestnut-Shell came over and she was smiling.
“Wise words.” She said.
“Will you help me with that?” Apple-Seed asked the other dryad.
“Only if you will help me,” Chestnut-Shell replied. “It is my time to practise what Freddie has taught us.
Chestnut-Shell took us through the settlement and out the other side. It was not lost on me that there were fewer people about and that Apple-Seed looked about herself with the natural curiosity of someone that hasn’t really come this way before.
Chestnut-Shell noticed the same thing and her eyes kind of narrowed with something that I took to be determination. My guess was that Apple-Seed would not be a stranger to this part of the world for much longer.
The Attendant led us to a particular tree and we climbed up the steps that spiralled around the trunk. Again, I was struck with a strange sense of vertigo. We climbed a good way up before we came to a large platform where Chestnut-Shell knocked on the door before a voice beckoned us in.
It was strange to see this woman, she was certainly a dryad only her skin leant more towards the browner, earthier tones along with the green hues and golden sheen that I had come to expect. Her hair was dark but there was silver in the locks now. She was still a good looking woman and given the context of what I had learned about how dryad society worked, I was not surprised by that. She was robed in a deep brown wrap-around robe that hung loosely off her.
She greeted Chestnut-Shell warmly. Apple-Seed was astonished that this lady knew who she was and I had my hand shaken firmly. We were led to seats, given something warm to drink before Chestnut-Shell said her piece. It was much longer than the speech that Apple-Seed had given Flax-Seed and I don’t know if this woman had more experience with keeping her thoughts and opinions from her face, but it was certainly much harder to read her expression than it was to read Flax-Seed’s.
She listened carefully with that special kind of suction quality that Kerrass uses so well, which made Chestnut-Shell say more than she intended in order to fill the silence. Then she asked a couple of questions which prompted more speech from Chestnut-Shell and when all of that petered out I finally got a read on this older woman as I could see her eyes shining.
She was enjoying herself.
“Finally.” She said. “Someone is going to step up a bit.” She bounded to her feet and pulled a clearly astonished Chestnut-Shell into a bear-hug. “You know, I’ve been training attendants for a couple of hundred years. Some people see my points, some people ignore them and some people are angered by them. But it’s that rare one that takes what I think, builds on it and makes it new. I am so… very proud of you.”
Chestnut-Shell was released and nearly staggered before falling backwards into a chair.
“Of both of you.” The woman seized Apple-Seed as well, who made a little “urk” kind of noise as she too was hugged. “The philosopher needs the pragmatism of the warrior and the warrior needs the perspective of the philosopher. They can exist separately, but they are far more powerful together.”
Apple-Seed looked bewildered when she was released.
“And you.” I was ready for the hug. “Maple-Leaf was right about you. You are the small pebble that begins the landslide.” She told me. “I wonder, have you been that way for your entire life. How much change have you wrought on the world with your wanderings? And will the world still be wondering that long after you are dead and forgotten. It is a rare gift that you have there and you should use it with care.”
“It’s funny,” I said. “I’ve known people like you my entire life. Wise people, often religious people, that give advice and praise in a way to set me on edge and make me fear for the future.”
“Naturally.” The woman exclaimed. “Otherwise what is the purpose of wisdom other than to make the young feel bewildered and confused.”
She turned back to Chestnut-Shell. “Focus on becoming pregnant, enjoy that process and then, enjoy your pregnancy. After that, we have a lot of work to do. In the meantime, let this one continue to teach you confidence and politics. You are taking to his lessons far better than you ever took to mine.”
“He has an interesting teaching method.” Apple-Seed quipped.
“Oh?” The woman wondered.
“Yes, he threatens to withhold orgasms until we can pass his tests.”
“Cruel.” The woman said, her eyes shining with amusement.
“A good teacher uses every tool at his disposal,” I commented.
I didn’t do that, of course, I didn’t. We had joked about it in the moment of course. But given that it embarrassed Chestnut-Shell in the face of her teacher, I went along with Apple-Seed’s joke.
“There is wisdom in what you say.” The older dryad said. I never found out her name and that alone made me consider that Chestnut-Shell had a little point. “Promise me one thing though, male.”
“Depends what it is.”
“When your time comes to confuse and bewilder those that are younger than you. Make them suffer.”
We all laughed.
That night, we ate at the community hall.
Apple-Seed brought it up. We spent some time together in the main area of our little house talking through plans and generally enjoying each other’s company. It felt a little bit as though a weight had been lifted off us.
“We should eat with the community tonight.” Apple-Seed declared. “We need to go, be happy and charming and remind people that we exist and what’s going on.”
“Yes.” Chestnut-Shell agreed. “And when we go, we should not mention our plans to anyone. We should go and, as you say, be happy, charming and generally nice to people because?” She prompted Apple-Seed.
“Because people won’t expect it.” They both said. It’s one of the first lessons that I taught them.
“Yes,” I said, “It also provides a nice contrast for when the time comes that you have to be… not so nice.”
Apple-Seed, who was feeling playful, leant forward towards me and made her eyes large as she said. “You’re such a good teacher. Do we get a reward?”
“Dear flame,” I appealed to the ceiling as the two women cackled. “What have I created?”
“The future of the dryads.” Chestnut-Shell declared. “Come, let us prepare.”
It was a good night.
Two days later, Kerrass and I received word that Yew-Branch had mostly recovered from her ordeal of changing and wanted to see us. I also decided that the time had come for me to go and visit Stefan as I had promised myself that I would. After a brief discussion, Apple-Seed offered to act as our guide, Chestnut-Shell was still a little uncomfortable around Kerrass although she was working on it. We went to see Stefan first on the grounds that I have always felt that it is better to do the unpleasant task first before treating yourself to doing something else that would be more fun. And I was really looking forward to seeing Yew-Branch again and asking about how she felt now that she was no longer Trayka.
I’ll be honest with you. Despite all the exposed evil inherent in the dryad system of self-governing, I’ve stayed in worse inns than the prison that was holding Stefan.
It was another large building, not dissimilar from the one that we had stayed in when we first got there. It seemed to be made by having lots of different parts before all the parts of the building were brought together as one. Although no one had carved it or moulded it in any way. There were some parts that had been patched up by tarpaulin, hides and oil skin. It was a small distance from the settlement itself, little more than a ten-minute walk.
The other difference that separated this place from every other building that I saw in that settlement was that this place was guarded by more than just honour guards. Dryads in their armour with spears and shields stood at the entrances and the windows and there were several nearby watchtowers which had lookouts and archers placed accordingly, looking in not looking out. There was another roped off area nearby which Apple-Seed told us was a place where prisoners could exercise while awaiting judgement regarding… whatever it was that was the problem.
Mostly, it was used for those rare occasions where a dryad had deliberately gone against the will of the council or had otherwise broken the laws of the Schattenmann. The most common crime was going into the surrounding villages and choosing a mate from one of the nearby pools of villagers. There were other crimes that seemed mostly to do with the loss of a dryad’s temper. Assault, violence and breaking the peace were common, as was criminal damage. Theft didn’t seem to be a problem though.
As well as Stefan, there were another three prisoners. Two of them had gotten into a fight with each other… over me as it happens. The woman that had declared that I was not fit to be bred with had been chastised by Sun-Flower, but then she had spent a good amount of time complaining about her treatment, loudly, to anyone that would listen. It turned out that one of the people listening was another one of the women who had seen me fight and had dragged the other woman into the street, by the hair before violence started.
Luckily the guards intervened before serious injury could be started.
A third woman was there for insulting and attacking Elm-Branch, vandalising Elm-Branches dwelling because she, the offender, had been upset that she had not been chosen as one of the hopefuls that would be introduced to me. This was because she simply wouldn’t be fertile in time before we all had to make our journey further into the heart of the forest.
Stefan himself looked healthy and well if a bit bored and miserable. You know that there’s a kind of… sheen to that. Where a person can look healthy but at the same time… they look kind of grey and clammy. Their hair just seems to… hang there and not really want to do anything. He was dressed in his shirtsleeves and had a pair of woven trousers on. The biggest detail to me was that he seemed to move with a slight limp. He wasn’t hurt, and believe me, I checked that he wasn’t hurt, but it was the kind of movement of a man that was not wearing his own boots AND was compensating for the fact that he wasn’t wearing his armour, nor that he was carrying his heavy sword on his hip. That just seemed to lend him a kind of… off-centre kind of feeling to him.
He had a little room that gave the illusion of privacy. There were walls and things but the walls were made out of reeds and woven, thin, dried canes of wood so it certainly wouldn’t have been soundproof. I also think that if the guards really put their minds to it, they could have walked up to the grate and peek through.
The room itself was relatively comfortable and as I say, I have stayed in dirtier, less comfortable inns than the “prison” that the dryads were using. The bed was relatively large and I could only assume that the mattress was made from the same kind of material that my mattress was made from. It was smaller, certainly in that it was only meant for one person rather than the large, three-person bed that I was staying in. The blankets and sheets and things were the same. There was a rug on the floor and wall hangings. The window was high up and was too small for a child to fit through, let alone a man of Stefan’s stature and ability. And he would have had to climb some distance to get to it.
There was also a small desk, a chair and a trunk. When Kerrass and I arrived Stefan was kneeling next to the bed and praying. They had allowed him to keep some of his holy texts and he was using one, clutching at it as though it was some kind of holy symbol, which I suppose that it was. But even despite that knowledge, I kind of found myself wincing at the abuse that that poor, leatherbound book was suffering through.
He looked up as one of the guards showed us into his room.
“Thank the sun.” He declared as he seized my hand and shook it. “Oh Great Sun, I have been so worried for you.” He turned and greeted Kerrass by clapping him on the shoulder. “You too Witcher, it is good to see both of you.”
I do not know what I expected from him. Something of a mix between a desire and an opinion that we should try and break him out. That we should escape, something along those lines. The fear that I had seen in his face when we were all being sentenced and he had been threatened with the prospect of being forced to impregnate one of the dryads was fresh in my mind. I suppose I was expecting some kind of frothing lunatic. Hurling threats of fire and death at the heretical creatures that we were surrounded by. I was expecting to be lambasted for daring to go anywhere near them and getting ready with counterarguments as to what would have happened if I had not done what I did.
Chestnut-Shell’s words “A choice between death and life is not a choice”. But Stefan was a holy man. Worse than that, he was one of those holy men that seemed to genuinely believe in what he was telling me.
But what I was confronted with was, well, not that. He looked like a monk that had been caught in the middle of his rituals of prayer and meditations. He looked peaceful if determined. He reminded me of the Stefan that I had first encountered all of that time ago, the Stefan that I had liked.
There was something deep in his eye but I could not tell what it was. He genuinely seemed as though he was glad to see us. However, he led off with a significant mistake.
“So how are these monsters treating you?” There is a certain kind of tone of voice that suggests that someone is making a statement, but also covering that statement with vocal tones that would allow them to pass it off as a joke in case someone takes offence. This was one and I bridled at that.
Kerrass beat me to it.
“If Freddie will permit me to show off my own, meagre, scholarly knowledge on the subject rather than giving him the opportunity to show off for a moment.” He used a formal tone of voice. A little harsher than would have been acceptable in the halls of the Oxenfurt academy but it still had the same overtones to it. “Morvan de bismoor defined “monsterhood” as being a creature that cannot be communicated with, cannot be reasoned with and cannot fit into the general state of civilisation. Although some people would argue that men such as myself would fall into that realm, then I could also argue that the definition could be expanded to include churchmen and churchwomen that refuse to accept the rule of law over their own petty statements.”
Stefan blinked as though Kerrass had slapped him in the face.
“These Dryads are able to perform all of these three tests. They are able to communicate, can be reasoned with and only impact other societies when we impact on their territory. A territory in which, there is no interest from the rest of our society other than from treasure hunters and adventurers who, frankly, deserve anything they get.
“The dryads defend themselves and their territory. They have punishments for those that transgress against them which, although harsh to our eyes, are well within the scope of punishments sometimes meted out by other nations of the world. More than one nation kills anyone who crosses into their borders accidentally from another. The North has been killing non-humans for that crime for years as well as doing so with the excuse that it is illegal to be non-human.
“I will admit that the rules about forced procreation are a little unusual but the tradition of the first night has been exercised by the nobility for a long time. Still is in certain parts of the Empire, both North and South.
“These women are not monsters sir. I would not take a contract to kill them although I would offer to translate and act as an intermediary should the need arise.”
“I see.” Stefan had sat back down on his bed after this small lecture. “Well, I suppose I can offer the explanation that I have had a trying few days. Is it not the duty of the prisoner to hate the jailer?”
“It can be.” I agreed as I leaned against the wall. I was still absorbing some of what Kerrass had said. It was true, all of it was true. “Just so long as you know that if you try and escape which is the first duty of the prisoner, then you are probably condemning Kerrass and me to death as well if you succeed.”
“I mean, they would be sad about it.” Kerrass agreed. “But they would do it.”
“Sad? Howso?”
“Well, Kerrass here, and the leader of the dryad guard forces have become intimate with each other,” I told him.
Kerrass didn’t blush but he did look a bit embarrassed.
“And I am providing them with two new dryads so…” I shrugged.
“Yes.” He said, rubbing at the stubble that was growing on his chin. “I wanted to apologise to you for that. I should not have told you that your soul was damned. I was tired, angry and very very scared. Oaths of chastity and purity are not easily set aside.”
“I understand,” I told him. “Just as I hope that you understand why I reacted the way I did.”
“Oh of course. And there are many priests of the Great Sun that would not be so condemning as I was. But I come from a very strict order and at that moment, the words of some of my masters were echoing in my ears.”
“What we are taught first,” Kerrass began the old phrase.
“Is what we do in moments of crisis.” I finished for him.
Stefan nodded ruefully. “I will take comfort from that I suppose. How is Trayka?”
“She is called Yew-Branch now,” Kerrass said. “She is still recovering from going through the change and we are going to see her next. I suppose that we will be able to tell you more the next time that we see you. Regardless of anything else though, she will not be travelling on to the heart of the forest with us.”
Stefan nodded sadly and with just a touch of disapproval. “Has she given up on her brother then?”
“My understanding is that she knows what happened now,” I told him. “She met the nieces that he gave the greater dryad community and spoke with his… for want of better phrasing, she met his dryad-bride. It has given her some measurement of peace.”
Stefan took a deep breath. “Well, there is that at least.”
“How are they treating you?” I asked. “I mean, you don’t seem the worse for wear.”
“They mostly leave me alone. I am allowed outside to train in the morning and the afternoon. There are some other prisoners here but their attempts to flirt with me and make an assignation with me were clumsy and easily avoided. I don’t think that the guards would mind and the door to my room is not locked. I did think about making a run for it but the place seems well guarded. I also reasoned that if I could see four dryads then there was probably another half a dozen that I couldn’t see.”
“That would be a safe bet.” Kerrass agreed and we all chuckled.
“The food is pretty good,” Stefan said. “I will certainly admit that when we had prisoners when we’re doing law enforcement stuff, we certainly treat our prisoners much worse than the way that I am being treated now. I can bathe regularly and, as I say, if I wanted to share a bed with one of the other prisoners, I don’t think anyone would object. Having said that, I prop a chair in front of my door when I go to sleep.”
There was more laughter there but again, I was left feeling a little uncomfortable with some of the things that I had been told.
We spent some more time talking and I will admit that I was reminded a bit about why I had grown to like Stefan when I had first met him. There was still some distance between us, but I had hope that we would be able to cross that line. I did warn him that I might be too busy to visit him before we were all due to leave towards the heart of the forest. Kerrass made a joke about the things that I was being busy with were particularly attractive. Stefan laughed but there was something about it that seemed as though he was forcing it.
We made our farewells and Stefan stretched out on his bed to read his holy text. We checked in with the guard of the place that Kerrass seemed to know on a friendly basis, who told us that Stefan was a good prisoner and hadn’t made any fuss. Apparently, casual sex between prisoners was considered a good way to blow off tension unless the prisoner was considered dangerous. But since Stefan had made it clear that he wasn’t interested in such entertainments, the guards had made it clear to the other dryads to leave the human alone. We joked with her a bit before we headed off to the dryad version of their infirmary.
What can I say about the dryad infirmary? It was not all that dissimilar from a human one really. It was an obviously permanent structure or as permanent a structure as things get in this kind of environment. It was a large building with several floors. It all seemed to be fairly open plan with little to no privacy between beds. There were some signs that there could be some kind of screen deployed if privacy was desperately needed, but other than that, you could have been forgiven for thinking that you had walked into any number of military hospitals really.
I’ve just read that last sentence and realised how ridiculous it was really.
It was not the same, the feel of it was similar. There were beds, there were what looked to be nurses either working with what few patients there were and there were slightly older people that moved from bed to bed checking the status of their patients that I took to be the dryad equivalents of doctors.
But after that, the building was still a dryad one in that it was built into a tree, or rather from the size of things, it was built into several trees with the intervening gaps being plugged by bits of wood and woven vines similar to the prison. It was the kind of layout that would have made Dr Shani proud.
From the various patients that we could see when we entered the room, they didn’t look all that dissimilar from that which you would find in any kind of active community. I didn’t count the number of patients but I could see several people that looked as though they had broken limbs, a few more that had their arms wrapped in something and a few more that were in some kind of physical distress. I couldn’t see any kind of illness from the people in any of the beds though. There were no people just lying there that didn’t have some form of physical injury. Some were sleeping and some were awake and chattering with the people in the beds nearby. It all seemed rather… I don’t want to say typical but that’s not far off where things were.
We were met at the door by someone called Rose-Bud who seemed to be in charge. When I asked her if she was the head doctor she kind of looked at me strangely and told me that she was the head healer before wondering if that was the same thing. I smiled, I liked that. She was a formidable woman though, tall, broad-shouldered and I wondered why she had not become a warrior. She responded that some people are called to different things than that and it seemed as though that was as much as I was going to get out of her. Kerrass didn’t bother hiding his amusement at my failed attempts to strike up a conversation.
They had been expecting us though and they took us up to the top of the building where we found Yew-Branch lying on a bed. She was lying on top of the bed covers in a thick looking grey shift. That colour of undyed wool came through again and for the first time, I wondered where the dryad flocks were. She had her eyes closed but her brows were knitted together in concentration. She was lying flat on her back with her fingers knitted together and seemed to be focusing on breathing in and out. She opened her eyes to see us coming when she was holding her breath, one hand pulled away and with a raised finger, she told us to wait a minute before she re-knitted her hands and blew the breath out.
Kerrass and I found chairs and waited, one of the attendant nurses came with a tray of mugs full of steaming liquid and a small glass vial of something that was red with silver dots dancing in it. She nodded to the two of us, handing specific mugs from the tray to us before putting the third cup on the table next to Yew-Branches head along with the small vial of… red.
There was a potted plant on the bedside table and a crude drawing of a woman wearing green with a bow and arrow next to it.
It is never the things that are violently different that cause you to get confused when you travel and experience different cultures. It is the things that are almost the same that mess with your head. I could absorb the dryad way of life, sexual politics and bits of culture, but to find a plant and a child’s drawing next to the bed of an injured woman seemed to strike me differently in some way.
The nurse told us to make sure that Yew-Branch took her medicine, gesturing to the small phial and then told us to yell if we needed something.
Kerrass and I took that as well as we could I think and settled in to wait.
We didn’t have to wait long. Yew-Branch opened her eyes and blinked a couple of times before she seemed to look at the pair of us before grinning.
It was the strangest thing talking to her. Her skin tone had not noticeably changed. She still had human skin colouring, her hair was the same, a lot of her body language was the same with a few marked differences that I will come to, but it seemed to me that she was two different people behind the same sets of eyes. Sometimes she would blink or shift her weight or her head from one side to the other and I would be looking at Trayka, my old travelling companion who hadn’t liked me very much. And then I would blink and I would be looking at Yew-Branch, a much happier and more carefree woman.
You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.
I might be being monstrously unfair as well there. It might be that what I was looking at was the old Trayka and the Trayka that she could have been if life had been a little gentler to her. If she hadn’t had to grow up quite as fast as she had. Maybe they were both Trayka, or just as likely, there was the possibility that Yew-Branch was the person that she had always meant to be and that the dryad ritual had just… let her out.
There is no easy answer to that and I doubt that I shall find one in my lifetime.
She grinned at us before a sudden flush seemed to rush over her, she shuddered and she closed her eyes again, taking deep breaths until the… whatever it was fell back away from her again.
“Sorry.” She told us both. “This is still taking some time to get used to.”
“So,” Kerrass began. I would have said something to start the conversation but I was still trying to take in this new… person in front of me. “I am uncertain as to whether or not I should be apologising or expecting some form of gratitude from you.”
Yew-Branch laughed. Her new laugh was musical. When Trayka had laughed, she had seemed contained and bitter. She had been the kind of person that would laugh at someone falling off a horse. There was joy in this new laughter.
“A little bit of both.” She replied, struggling to sit up. Automatically, I went to help her and she quickly held her hand up in denial.
“Don’t touch me.” She snapped. “Sorry, sorry.” She was instantly contrite. “I’m not used to all of these feelings yet and I… well…” She smirked. “I’m really horny at the moment.”
She struggled to an upright position, arranging and rearranging her pillows until she was comfortable. She noticed her small phial of medicine before grimacing and downing it at a swallow before setting the glass aside.
“That’s why I’m wearing this, ridiculous shift.” She pinched her clothing and let it fall. “It’s soft, gentle and doesn’t excite too much sensation in my body.”
I took that in for a moment.
“To answer your question, Witcher.” She began. “It’s a little bit of both. Thank you for bringing me here.” She looked at him squarely in the eye. “No really. Take this in. Thank you for bringing me here. I am beyond grateful. Looking at the way I was going with everything, it’s even possible that your bringing me here has saved my life.”
She shook her head a little sadly.
“It would not have been long before I would have met someone who was better with a blade than I was, knew that particular patch of woodland better, could speak with his fists better and had the sense to wait until I was drunk.”
Her eyes darkened for a moment.
“Or objected to who my bed partner was a bit more, or until I did irrevocable damage to my body and just bled to death. It would have happened and until I came here, I don’t think I would have cared that much.”
Her eyes cleared and she looked from Kerrass to me and back again. “So thank you. Both of you. I mean that. Thank you for bringing me here and it’s more than just bringing me here to find out what happened to my brother. You saved my life and I really mean that.”
“Then why do I owe you an apology?” Kerrass wondered.
“Because you weren’t there for the ritual.” Yew-Branch’s voice dripped with mock outrage. “I mean… how dare you not be there when my life came to its ultimate moment?”
Kerrass and I looked at each other for a long time before we realised that she was joking with us. I don’t know which of us started to laugh first but it was a close-run thing.
Yew-Branch grinned at us before another shudder seemed to pass through her, she closed her eyes, turned her head away and I think she gritted her teeth through it as she took several deep breaths.
“Is there much pain?” I finally managed to ask when she relaxed.
She laughed at me. A little bit of the old Trayka showing through.
“Ah, Freddie.” She said. “It’s not pain, quite the opposite actually.”
“Oh,” I said. The visual clues and triggers started to emerge through my brain. “Oh,” I said again, rather redundantly.
Yew-Branch and Kerrass both laughed at me.
“I can’t describe it.” She said, “I mean they warned me but I hadn’t… I hadn’t comprehended. I mean, I had heard that sirens and nymphs and satyrs and of course, dryads, like to trick men into following them into places in order to have their way with them but… I had never understood…”
“Sirens want to eat them.” Kerrass said, “Satyrs do generally want to have sex but are far less choosy and I don’t know anyone who would willingly go with a satyr unless they stood to gain something.”
Yew-Branch raised an eyebrow at me.
“Corpulantly fat.” I told her, “monstrously ugly and prideful. Often servants of greater beings in which case, fight or flee. If they are by themselves then buy them off. I have never heard of anyone surviving a sexual encounter with one though.”
“Why not?”
“Monstrously endowed,” Kerrass said.
Yew-Branch’s eyebrows rose before she got a thoughtful look on her face.
“Bigger than that,” I said, I have met a satyr, it was a gracious host but I didn’t like him. “Much bigger.”
Yew-Branch looked surprised.
“So big that you would, literally, not survive,” Kerrass said. “Nymphs, Russalkaa’s and the like are close to how you describe, but they tend to get territorial, and the problem with nymphs of course is that they want to perform the deed in water, which often leads to them forgetting that their partners need to breathe while they’re in the throes of passion.”
“Ah.” Yew-Branch breathed. “But still, I knew stories about dryads, but I had never thought about it from the other end. Great Sun but I can barely walk without… without wanting to… Sun but I’m going to have to get better at talking about this.”
“Is this a temporary thing?” Kerrass wondered for me.
“Apparently so. I’m told that…” She frowned as she recited some remembered words. “... my system takes time to adjust and as I am coming to the change later in life, it will take some time for everything to find… equalidrian.”
“Equilibrium?” I corrected her automatically.
“Yes,” She pointed at me. “That’s the animal. I would be enjoying myself a bit more with it but I know, from bitter experience that pursuit of these feelings is… painful. They keep telling me I need time for it but…” She made big eyes at both of us. “I’m bored and I want to get on with things. I can only hear the words ‘Patience young one’ so many more times before I will scream and murder something.”
We all laughed. I only think that she was half joking.
“So you’re going to ask me what it’s like?” She looked me dead in the eyes.
“I am,” I admitted. “Also, what was it like in the ritual and how do you feel going forward?”
“The last question is the easiest.” She told us both, looking away and focusing on a point somewhere distant while she counted her breathing. “How do I feel going forward? I feel great. Honestly great. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I see light at the end of the cave mouth. I have friends here, sisters that I have never had before. I am, honestly, excited at the prospect that one day I might be a mother. I mean, not yet, but that that option is no longer as scary as it used to be you know?”
“I don’t.” I admitted. “So the question really is, is that you or is that the fact that you are now a dryad?”
“Why are the two things different?” She responded quickly. “I mean, that’s the thing that they keep telling me whenever I ask that question. I am a dryad now. I am happy with that prospect. I can remember the human that I was and I feel so sorry for her. She was so angry, so sad, and so… very determined. She truly believed that the entire world was out to get her and that she should take what pleasure that she could? She could see her death looming on the horizon. She could see it coming, almost feel it coming. And worse than that, she was getting to the point that she was beginning to long for it.”
“I know how that feels,” Kerrass said.
“So do I,” I admitted, “although not as far as some might have thought.”
Yew-Branch looked at me strangely before she blinked and looked away again.
“I will admit,” She went on, “that the prospect of coming to the Black Forest was almost exciting to me. I think… looking back, I think that I came here to die. This forest and the Schattenmann before it had taken my brother, the very thing that I had looked for and lived for, for so many years. The thing that I had given up my own life for and now he was gone. I didn’t have a reason for living. There was something in me, deep down, that said that if I died in the Black Forest, then at least I would be with my brother.”
She shook her head, as her expression had darkened it was as though Yew-Branch had begun to fade, leaving Trayka in the foreground and then, as she shook her head, she seemed to relax and it was like the sun coming out.
“Now, I can almost feel the future spreading out before me and I can’t wait to get cracking with it. I know the trails around the outside of the heart of the forest better than anyone here. If I put my old clothes on, I could still pass as a human from a suitable distance and if I was to wander around, I would be able to identify threats to the forest and to the Schattenmann long before anyone else needs to worry about them. I can already feel myself being happier in the trees and in the woods. They let me go outside and stand there underneath the branches and it;’s almost enough to bring me to tears. I can feel the trees around me. I have a favourite tree, can you imagine that. And I swear that it’s happy to see me when I go there.”
She chuckled. “Fuck me but I’m close to tears just thinking about it.
“I’m going to be useful to these people. I’m going to contribute and when the time comes and a man comes to the forest that looks as though he might have more going on in his head than just a simple desire to fuck all the pretty nature spirits, then I will take him to my bed and I shall allow him to make me pregnant. And then I shall have a daughter to teach all the ways of the forest. I shall teach her how to track, how to shoot, how to hunt and prepare game. I shall tell her about my brother and my father and about the witcher that brought me here as well as the scholar that came with us.”
I found that I was a little touched by that and had to clear my throat a couple of times before I could properly get my words out. “What will you tell her about your father?”
“I will tell my daughter that my father was a good man who loved too deeply. So deeply that when those things that he loved were taken from him, he could not survive it. I shall tell them that he was an ill man and that he didn’t know how to deal with the things that life put his way. I shall tell her that I was a good sister, but I was not a good daughter. I shall say that he was not a good Father, that I don’t think he was able to be a good Father, but that he did his best when it counted. When the choice came and when he was capable of making that choice, he chose to be a good Father and that redeems him in my eyes. I will tell my child that I wish I could have told him how much he meant to me before he died.”
“That’s not quite what I meant,” I told her.
“I know. But the other thing is more important. I told you that my father was dying?”
“Yes.” I admitted.
“He knew the old fucker. He knew before he came here. Some kind of wasting thing. He was heading for a dark and nasty death. One last effort to find out what happened to his son before he passed on to the point where he couldn’t look, couldn’t live anymore. It was more brutal than I would have liked, but if you ask me what upsets me the most. It’s that I can no longer tell him what he meant to me. I would have liked him to see me now. I would have liked him to see the me that I am becoming. I would like to think that we could have been friends.
“It was more brutal than I would have liked. But that death was easier than the one that was coming for him.”
“That is still not what I meant,” I told her.
“I know that too.” She looked away. “I loved my father. I will always love my father. But I also like what and who I am now. I am sorry that Father had to pay that price.”
“They killed your Father.” I insisted.
“They did.” She told me, a little heat in her face. “Yes they did, but you are being naive. Humans have been killing trespassers for years. I have even been hired to perform the deed in the past. Why would you apply a different price to dryads? Why would you, my Father, Stefan, and the rest, think yourselves above that law when others apply it? Would you make a similar protest when the Elves of Dol Blathanna kill you for invading their sanctuary? When the dryads of the Brokilon forest do the same. Is it because, we claim those lands for our petty King, Queen and Emperors we think we should be exempt from such things? Do you think we should be exempt from such things because we are human and those are human laws and these are dryad or elven laws?”
She snorted.
“It’s trespassing. Humanity does far worse to itself for far less. If it was the other way round… wars, genocides have been fought over less.”
“Yes, they have,” I admitted. I had not enjoyed having it pointed out to me that I still have some latent racism hidden in my bones. It had been lost on me that that was essentially what I was doing and that this was what the dryads had done in return. I felt small and petty.
“I don’t do it often,” Kerrass said. “But I will defend Freddie here. In his family’s lands. Intruders are detected and either escorted clear if lost, the root of the problem assessed if they are poachers, arrested and tried otherwise. When his father had problems with men coming on his lands to commit acts of sabotage, Lord Coulthard would have the men taken alive and deposited on the lands of the men who sent them.”
“That’s all well and good,” Yew-Branch said. “But did he think he should be allowed off the hook and did he think that there would be no penalty for intrusion because he was human?”
“I did not think it was because I was human,” I said. “But I did think it was because I was here on a mission of peace. I was not given a chance to articulate that.”
Trayka took that and nodded.
“So what was it like?” She prompted, forcing the change of subject. “You wanted to ask me?”
“Yes.” I took the lifeline gratefully. “What was it like, starting with the ritual and moving through to what it’s like for you now.”
“It was like…” She grimaced in thought. “I didn’t think I was going to survive it. When I walked down into that hollow, I honestly thought that this was it. That I was going to die there. I was alright with that. I was happy that, if I was going to die, then I was happy to do this. It felt like… there was going to be a weight off my shoulders. No more thinking, no more fighting, no more… no more pain. No more desperation. I had not been living for some time, not since my brother was taken I think although now, I wonder if I had even been living then. It would be over, no more worrying about it. No more worrying about myself. It was all coming to a culmination. I had no doubt that I was going down there to my death and I was determined to face it with as much bravery as I could.”
Her gaze sank.
“I was even looking forward to it a little bit, you know? That moment of wondering what comes after, the very worst that could happen is that there is nothing there after we die and there have been times in the past where that hasn’t sounded like too bad of a deal.
“Then the chanting started and it was this mass of female voices all around me that was like a cushion. Like a blanket that wrapped me up and surrounded me with it. It felt… It felt good. It felt comforting.
“And then he was there. I can’t describe it other than that. Apparently, there was a shape that formed before me but I didn’t see it. I could feel his presence though. A vast, male presence. It was like… I don’t suppose that I can properly communicate it to the pair of you as neither of you will have this experience. It was like I was standing at the bar in the tavern. The door opens and a man comes in. He is physically powerful, attractive, and desirable. You can see it in his face and his eyes that he is more than the pretty bard whose lines are far too practised to have any substance. He is more intelligent than the other grunt workers on the path. He is somehow more than that. At first glance, he is a threat to you but then he might catch your eyes and give a reassuring smile before deliberately standing as far away from you as possible so you can feel comfortable. Or he will see the woman that he is really there to meet and he will wander off and you realise that he is no threat to you after all.
“It was like that. All of the maleness, none of the threat. I could feel him almost standing behind me, or just out of sight.
“Then they gave me the cup and told me to drink.”
“What did it taste like?”
“It was a lot like a kind of spicy, salted honey. Sweet, savoury and like the toffee that they dip apples in at the fair.”
She giggled. “It made me feel as though I was about six again. Being told that I couldn’t have any more by the parent figures. I was so angry when they took the cup away from me and that there wasn’t any more.”
“What happened then?” I wondered.
“It was like…” She paused and looked at us both. “Sorry if this embarrasses the pair of you. But it was like the single most powerful sexual climax that I’ve ever experienced. At first, I could barely feel it coming on. It was not a slow build, not really, but there was a build there. At first, I dismissed it because it seemed implausible that that was what was going on. It came in waves too, the next wave made me realise that I was not imagining it. The third wave made me realise precisely what was going to happen. I don’t know what it’s like for men when it comes to sex, but for me, there’s always been a moment when you finally realise that something is going to happen and orgasm is coming. There are times when you could be just going at it with a partner and beyond things feeling mildly pleasant at best, you just suddenly realise that you are about to go. Sometimes it happens straight away, some times it takes a bit of time to build up.”
She was right, it was embarrassing. Although it did put certain experiences of mine into a certain amount of perspective.
“It was like that moment.” She told us. “That moment where I just realised, “Sun, shine on me but I’m about to…” She grinned at my embarrassment. “I remember falling backwards and I remember hands catching me which, I’m told, were the other women from the ritual. I remember looking up into the tree’s canopy and I remember losing control of my limbs. And then I passed out with it all.
“The next thing that I remember was waking up. That’s as much as I can say really, it was… the single most intense moment of my life. Not just the thought of dying and I maintain that I did actually die. But that rebirth. People describe dying and being reborn as being like agony. It wasn’t, it was the single most glorious moment that I can imagine. And that’s what it feels like. I feel reborn and now, I can’t wait to get started. I can’t wait to get a move on and get involved, get my hands dirty. But instead, I’m stuck here with all of this.”
“What’s it like now? Being a dryad I mean?” I had to clear my throat. “What’s different?”
“Everything is different Freddie. Everything. The most important shift in my own thinking. But the greatest thing…? There’s little that I can compare it to, but here goes. You worship the flame of the North, right?”
“Yes.” I replied. “The holy flame of the North. The Eternal Flame that guides us towards redemption and safety.”
She nodded. “Does he exist? Or she? Or whatever it is?”
The question caught me off guard. “Yes, of course, it does.”
“How do you know?” She asked, seeming to be genuinely curious. “I’m not teasing you, how do you know that it exists?”
“We don’t.” I admitted. “And that’s the point. Faith is the point of all of it, isn’t it? We have faith that it exists and therefore it does. There is plenty of evidence to suggest that it does exist. The history and things. We know that the priests of the Eternal Flame get their power from somewhere. We are as confident as we can be that that power is not just magic from a different source or method. Those self-same priests describe a power that sits on the edge of their consciousness and answers their queries and questions.”
“But that could be anything really, couldn’t it?”
“It could,” I admitted. “It could be a spirit of some kind. Some equivalence of Kerrass’ Goddess of battle. It could be a spirit from another world or another realm. There are plenty of things that it could be.”
She nodded. “So you don’t know. You have faith that it is definitely a thing. I remember feeling the same about the Great Sun. It obviously exists. But what is it? Any farmer can tell you that the sun gives us life. That without the sun there is not enough light and warmth for us to be able to grow the crops that we need. I once met a Sorcerer that told me that it was only natural that we worshipped the Sun. It was, after all, responsible for our very existence. So why wouldn’t we worship the sun? We pray for more light and warmth and we pray that it goes away when those same crops need water rather than sunlight. So why not pray to the sun?”
She shrugged. “But is it a God? I have no idea and neither did the Sorcerer. He told me that the Sun was a giant ball of burning gas that is way up in the sky. I wondered if that stops it from being a God and of course, it doesn’t. So all I can do in that regard is to have faith that the Great Sun will shine down upon me and that it will judge me and be kind to me when the time comes that I must stand before it and be judged for everything that I have done and not done. Where the light of the Sun will shine into the depths of my soul and expose every shadow and secret so that I can be given the fair hearing that I want and that I deserve.”
(Freddie For my Northern Readers, that is one of the basic articles of faith for the church of the Great Sun. We who follow the Eternal Flame, believe that the Eternal Flame only attracts the just and that the unjust would not be able to see it in order to be guided into the next world. The followers of the Great Sun believe that the Sun will stand in judgement over us. I honestly don’t know which idea is more terrifying.)
“But now?” She smiled a smile of true joy. “I no longer need to worry. God exists and he is pleased with me. He loves me and when my time comes he will receive me into his… whatever. Saying that he will receive me into his bosom sounds strange and somehow sexual. And it is, or at least… Sun scorch it but I’m still getting used to all of this.
“I can feel the Schattenmann now. I know that he is there. If I concentrate and remain really still. I can feel his presence. Part of it is sexual and I cannot deny that. I can feel that… throbbing of pleasure underneath my… mind I suppose. This is where my knowledge of what to say kind of leaves me standing. I can feel that pleasure. I can feel that he is pleased with me. I can feel his welcome into the ranks of the dryads and I can feel the benefits that this gives me. When I die, I will go to the Schattenmann’s side. I am no longer afraid of what will come after I die. Because I know. I know Freddie, and I am not afraid of it. I don’t need to be. I cannot possibly explain to you how utterly liberating that is. How grateful that this makes me.”
I nodded.
“Does it…” I swallowed. “Does it go against the fact that you used to worship the Sun?”
“That’s the thing. It doesn’t. Without the Sun there is no shadow. The Schattenmann loves the Sun just as much as I do. Without light, there can be no shadow and if there was no shadow, then he would have nowhere to be.”
It took me a while to take in the philosophical implications of that. Kerrass leapt in and asked a few questions.
I resurfaced to hear some of the answers.
“I know which way is North now. I can predict the weather that much better than I used to be able to do. I mean, anyone that has spent any amount of time outdoors will be able to smell the air and know that the rain is coming. But I know that the rain will come the day after tomorrow at an hour before midday. I know where the winds are coming from and I know where the heart of the forest is which means that the combination of the two will leave me unable to get lost. Ever. I will able able to eat and survive off things that would turn the stomach of a human and when really hungry, I have eaten insects that were still alive enough to run down my throat.”
I shuddered and she saw it.
“It was when I was stalking a group of bandits that were much larger than anticipated.” She told me. “I was waiting for them to move on so that I could emerge and escape. But they were being far more cautious than I had anticipated. I had to do some pretty unpleasant things to survive then.”
“We can relate,” Kerrass said. “We have done similar things when escaping from overwhelming force.”
She nodded. “You know, it’s so easy to forget that Freddie is not some innocent, paltry little lord, isn’t it. Still wet behind his ears.”
“Oh, he is.” Kerrass teased me. “But he hides it better. What else is changing?”
“I can feel my body changing.” She said. “I was warned that it would, at least a little bit. Dryads are supposed to attract mates after all. Like a peacock attracts their mates I need some attractive plumage in order to attract… I must say that I find that a bit strange. I never found it particularly difficult to attract a man for a quick boff in the hayloft.”
I left that well enough alone.
“My eyesight is better.” She announced. “I look forward to getting my bow back and taking my new instincts for the air and the sight of things for a test.
“At the moment though, all of my senses are heightened. Food has never tasted this good and they are feeding me some basic slop. I had a hard-boiled egg for breakfast with some toasted flatbread. I swear to the Shadow, and the Sun that I have never tasted anything so delicious. I shiver if the air moves across my body and I swear that I can feel each individual fibre of my dress. I’m told that I will get used to it, but there’s something in me that suggests that I don’t want to get used to it. That this heightened state of being makes everything… everything better. Although I have been warned not to try and seduce anyone. Apparently, my…” she frowned. “‘Nervous system is still too fragile’. I can’t answer for that. All I know is… I really want to…”
She frowned again, shuddered and gritted her teeth. Then she let out a gasp.
“Ok, that was a good one, you’d better…”
She gritted her teeth again.
“We’ll go. We will ensure to see you before you leave.” Kerrass told her as we rose to make our farewells.
“You’d better.” She growled through gritted teeth, the old Trayka peeking through again. “Or I will take up my bow, regardless of whatever these fucks tell me is good for me and I will come after you and shoot you both in the dick.”
She gritted her teeth again as her body seemed to give a little spasm. I am not ashamed to admit that Kerrass and I fled.
We checked in with the lady in charge who reassured us that Yew-Branch was doing as well as could be expected given all of the circumstances that were involved and that she would be better in the few days that it would take before we were getting ready to go. Reassured, we left.
“Did you get all the answers to your questions, Freddie?” Kerrass asked.
“Yes.” I replied. “But as is the way with such things. Now, all I have is some more questions.”
“Isn’t that always the case?”
“It really is.”
So life continued for the strangely, awfully idyllic couple of weeks that I spent with the dryads. It was among the most pleasant, conflicting, horrific, pleasurable, fun, worrying, challenging, awful in every sense of the word, couple of weeks of my journey. Even the week that I spent with the Succubus and her husband didn’t compare to this. And my mood swings went along with that. Some days, I would be happy and carefree and sometimes I would need to get Apple-Seed to take me out into the woods so that I could just scream. Sometimes both. Kerrass and I would train and train hard, watched by the Weapons-Mistress and often a class at the same time. Kerrass spent his time with Sunflower and seemed to enjoy himself.
It was all… so… confusing.
Yew-Branch started to emerge after that, spending time out in the community. At first, just for short periods of time. We all went to see her practise her shooting at one point. She managed three shots before she was overstimulated with all of the sensations and collapsed into the ground in order to just whimper. But by the time that we left, she was doing much better. She had a slight change of technique to the way that she shot which a couple of the other scouts got all excited about. It seemed technical in nature and I can’t even begin to understand it. Grip, pulling speed and so on. I remember Sir Rickard once trying to teach me how to shoot and I remember that it was much more complicated than just fitting the arrow to the bow, drawing back and firing.
Chestnut-Shell had some interesting thoughts about why Yew-Branch was having an effect in such a way. She reminded everyone that part of the problem that they all had was a lack of innovation. Yew-Branch had been out there and in the world. She had been actively fighting and working with the bow rather than guarding, hunting and just training. That everyone got so excited about what seemed to be, just a few simple tricks, was evidence of just how backward the dryads could be sometimes.
As for my little family unit. We spent a couple of nights eating in public as the ladies practised their new social techniques but a couple of comments by a visiting Elm-Branch made it clear that although she was pleased and on board with the new ways of thinking and the way that both Chestnut-Shell and Apple-Seed were coming out of their shells a little bit. She reminded all three of us that there were other things going on and that we kind of needed to get down to it.
Of the two of them, it was Apple-Seed that got pregnant first. I wasn’t really that surprised by that. She was a much more spontaneous woman than Chestnut-Shell was. Apple-Seed and I would be sat talking, training or out walking the woodland in the surrounding area. Then Apple-Seed would just get a look on her face before she would pounce on me and drag me off to a place where we had some modicum of privacy. I don’t want to go into too much detail but Apple-Seed seemed as though she enjoyed the excitement of it.
I was also curious about how this would work. My medical knowledge did not really go into reproductive science and I am forced to admit that my interest in that area was reduced to the simply practical side of things. But the thing that I did know was that it can sometimes be weeks before a woman can realise that she’s pregnant and even alchemical or magical testing is not reliable in that direction until well after the deed is done.
I also knew that timing is crucial and that a woman can sometimes only be fertile for a relatively small period of time. Meaning that there is a large amount of luck involved in the process. When I admitted this fear to both of them, they laughed at me. Apple-Seed called me “sweet” which is not something a lover wants to hear while Chestnut-Shell told me that the Dryads have ways of determining these things.
And apparently, they do. With about six days to spare, the three of us were having lunch and Apple-Seed got this kind of far-away look in her eyes for a long moment before her mouth dropped open, her eyes widened and a strange noise of shock came from her.
“Oh,” She said, dropping her knife onto the plate that she was eating from. “Oh.” She was more excited now and started doing a little jittery dance of joy in her chair.
“What is it?” I asked, rather dumbly as Apple-Seed’s mood was infectious and I found that I wanted to laugh.
Chestnut-Shell said nothing. Just raised an eyebrow to the little scout who had her hands in front of her mouth and was nodding violently in answer to the unspoken question.
Chestnut-Shell stifled a grin in an effort to remain aloof and dry. “She’s pregnant.” She declared in as bored a monotone as she could manage. She couldn’t maintain a straight face for long though as an outraged Apple-Seed hurled a piece of bread across the table at her.
The two women embraced and did a little spin around dance together while I slumped in my chair, pretty much in a state of shock.
At some stage, Apple-Seed seized me, kissed me and whispered in my ear.
“Thank you.” She whispered. “Oh, thank you.” Then she kissed me again before climbing off me with a wicked gleam in her eye. “Tonight I will thank you more thoroughly.”
I had no words for that.
“Off with you,” Chestnut-Shell told her, possibly sensing the way my thoughts were heading. “Off to the healers for confirmation and the new regime of potions that you have to take.”
Apple-Seed did another little dance of joy before she gathered up her spears. Something that she was now never without, and strode off into the settlement with a skip and a laugh.
“Potions?” I wondered faintly as I pushed the remaining food around on my plate.
“We have to ensure that the baby stays and reinforce its health,” Chestnut-Shell told me. “We have some advantages here over human and Elven women when it comes to keeping the baby alive in that we are magical creatures. But at the same time, that doesn’t mean that we can be complacent. With the right supplements, we can ensure that the baby and the mother remains healthy.”
“Oh,” I said, staring at my food.
I could feel a chasm opening up underneath my feet and I was scrabbling at the sides of it. I tried to head it off by taking another mouthful of the hearty soup that Apple-Seed had prepared for us but it tasted like ash in my mouth. I thought of Ariadne and I desperately wanted to speak to her. I wanted to fall to my knees and beg the forgiveness of the woman that I loved. Unlike after the Goddess, I was confident that I would get that forgiveness, but I wanted it. I wanted to see her and talk to her and to know that everything was going to be ok.
I knew, in my head, that Ariadne would forgive me and I knew that she would be understanding. But my heart worried that she would be angry and so the spiral and argument with myself went.
Chestnut-Shell came and turned me towards her. Her hands were those of a friend and someone who cared rather than those of a lover for the moment.
“Are you alright?” She asked gently.
“No,” I admitted, swallowing through the lump in my throat. A lump that I had not realised was there until I was trying to speak.
“Tell me,” She insisted. “Let it out.”
“I’m happy for her,” I insisted, and I was. “I am happy for her. But all I can think right now is that this is not how I wanted to become a Father.”
Chestnut-Shell and I held each other for a little while after that as we both had some tears to shed I think.
Chestnut-Shell took it down to the line before she declared that she was pregnant. She declared herself pregnant two days before it was time for us to leave.
With Apple-Seed, things were explosive, fast, sudden and surprising. With Chestnut-Shell, things were… not that way. Don’t get me wrong, saying that Chestnut-Shell was without passion would be incorrect and give the wrong impression of a lady that I care about a great deal. It just would take us a while to get there. For Chestnut-Shell, the anticipation was as important as the… well… the payoff as it were. There would be teasing, flirting and long slow movements. Also, where Apple-Seed allowed the mood to take her whenever and wherever it wanted, Chestnut-Shell only had an interest in using our bed.
Not for her the pine needles up the bum, her words, or the feeling of rough wood against her back or her knees. On those occasions where Apple-Seed dragged the pair of us off into the trees, Chestnut-Shell wouldn’t mind but while Apple-Seed would be carrying the food, Chestnut-Shell would insist that she and I were carrying soft blankets and cushions.
I once heard a discussion between the two where Chestnut-Shell said that she preferred quality over quantity when it came to lovemaking. Then, not entirely unfairly, Apple-Seed argued that every time could be quality with enough synergy between partners which, she insisted, clearly require practise.
Then, mortifyingly, they turned to me and asked me my opinion. Which is exactly the worst thing that can happen to a man in my position. I think I came out of it fairly well though. I told them that I had learned that when it came to matters of physical pleasure, variety is the spice of life and that what works for one couple would not work for the next. I told them that there was room for both philosophies and that a little bit of consensual boundary-pushing was good for the soul providing that each partner in question was ready to back off the moment the other person became uncomfortable.
I think I got away with it as both women seemed to think that I had agreed with them.
So Chestnut-Shell’s encounters with me tended to be in the early morning before she rushed off to see to her responsibilities. Or in the evening, with or without Apple-Seed.
But after Apple-Seed’s pregnancy announcement, the taller dryad seemed to decide that she needed to step up her game a little. I don’t know what I was expecting but it certainly opened my eyes to a few things.
One day, I woke up to find that there was a new bed out on the balcony where I knew that Chestnut-Shell like to pray.
Calling it a bed would be pushing it a little, it was not large although it was taller than the large bed that we all continued to share.
As a note, just because she was pregnant now, did not mean that Apple-Seed’s desires and passions had lessened. She certainly kept going although she was a little bit more insistent about my… ummmm…. Finishing things with Chestnut-Shell rather than herself.
But Chestnut-Shell placed this bed out in the open. She placed bowls of light around it in those places that I was coming to know as the eight directions of the compass. Then she started to approach our… love-making as being a kind of religious rite.
I am not averse to this interpretation. The Eternal Flame is, to me at least, about safety, love, and about a guide towards returning home. And where should I be the safest and loving than in the arms of the woman I love. And as clear a definition of home, I can struggle to think.
And that was how it went. She would wake me at dawn and take me out to this, alter I suppose, and we would make long and slow love. Then again at midday, at dusk and again at midnight. Flame but it was intense. It took a long time to build but when it got there, I am not ashamed to admit that I have never felt anything like it. I know that these things were chemically enhanced, for both of us in order to aid everything required but…
I will stop this here before it gets too inappropriate to be properly read. Let's just say that I learnt a few tricks that I am looking forward to testing out an a certain Vampire lady when the time is right.
And then, two days before I was due to leave, Chestnut-Shell woke both Apple-Seed and me up in the early hours of the morning with the news that she was pregnant.
All three of us laughed, wept and held each other in joy and sadness before we all walked her down to the infirmary to get everything checked out.
And so the end of our time with the dryads came to a close. I tried to insist that Chestnut-Shell and Apple-Seed should not come to see us off but it seemed that our own personal choices in the matter would not be taken into account. This too had certain implications within the society of the dryads so that everyone who was available turned out to bid us farewell.
It was a cool, greyish morning and there was a damp, mist that seemed to hang over everything. The kind that makes your clothes stick to your skin. Chestnut-Shell seemed to think that this was a good omen. Like every time where I simply must get out of bed in the morning, I found that I had taken a long time to get to sleep the previous evening, but when I did manage to get to sleep, I slept like the dead so that it took ages for me to actually wake up.
It was that wonderful sense of cool and dampness in the morning which turns your blankets into this cocoon of warmth and comfort. Made even better by the presence of a person that you care about sharing it with you. I didn’t want to wake up. Because if I woke up then I would need to confront all the complicated feelings that I was dealing with in this parting of the ways.
But time is inexorable. And although I had enjoyed my time with Chestnut-Shell and Apple-Seed, I also wanted to get back underway. I wanted to see Ariadne again. I wanted to hear her voice and to hold her close. At that point of things, I was honestly considering blowing off the plans for me to return to Redania before the wedding and just spending time with Ariadne in Angral. Fuck what society thought.
But there were also two other women, different but similar in their outlook to each other. I cared about both of them and I hoped that in our time together, we had made each other happy. I hoped that I had given them both pleasure and I hoped that they would remember me fondly. I also hoped that the two of them would stay together or, at the very least, be able to maintain some kind of friendship.
I hoped for many things.
Certainly, for my place, I was enormously fond of the pair of them and was not looking forward to the parting. But I so desperately wanted to get back underway and bring this mission to a close. That was the conflict. I wanted to put this episode behind me, but at the same time, I didn’t want it to end. This strange form of domestic bliss that I had found, even while it was tolerable and entirely pleasant rather than being what I truly wanted.
I am self-aware enough to know that if it wasn’t for Ariadne being so firmly entrenched in my heart, then I would have loved those two dryads. It would have been so very easy for me to love both of them. But because of things being the way that they were, that was not what was happening.
Chestnut-Shell had been out to see to her morning rituals while Apple-Seed clung to me fiercely. Chestnut-Shell returned to our bed a bit later on and the three of us huddled under the blankets so that we could pretend, even for a moment that the rest of the world didn’t exist. After a while though, I could feel myself beginning to wake up and I wasn’t the only one as we all heard Apple-Seed’s belly give an audible rumble of hunger.
We took our time about it. Hot drinks and sweet biscuits were brought which we drank and ate in bed before we eventually rose to have a proper breakfast. We did not talk about large things although I was pleased to hear that both Chestnut-Shell and Apple-Seed had found a small house that they would be sharing. Apple-Seed would still be working as a scout for the next couple of months before her pregnancy really started to develop, but she would be much closer to the centre of the forest than she would normally be. That, and the fact that the general and the weapons-mistress were still so excited about this new fighting method that Apple-Seed had developed meant that she was on limited duties.
My understanding was that Chestnut-Shell would remain in the settlement with the two daughters when they were eventually born while Apple-Seed would be off scouting and then the family unit would be reunited. There were tentative plans in that direction and a small sense of excitement and longing in their voices for that state of harmony. I hope that the two of them, away from the heightened emotions and the strange circumstances that we all found ourselves in… I hope that what was undoubtedly a sudden lust and coping mechanism in the face of the forced intimacy, will turn into something real in the long run. I don’t think it is a fool’s hope, but their future is far from certain at the moment.
We ate slowly and teased each other a little, small jokes and best wishes. Then, about mid-morning, I climbed to my feet and moved to my travel things. Apple-Seed helped me on with my armour while Chestnut-Shell had a last look around to make sure that I had not forgotten anything. The pair of them gave me a small gift to remember them by in the form of a pendant made from a green stone. Apparently, the stone is found on the shores of the rivers that run through the heart of the forest. It had been carved into a three-strand plait that looped back onto itself endlessly. The symbolism was obvious and I thanked them both with a tear in my eye as I placed it around my neck.
The balance in my head shifted for a moment and I found that I didn’t want to go. The urge didn’t last long but as I looked at their faces, Apple-Seed obviously trying not to shed any tears and Chestnut-Shell, a little more contained but still a woman on the edge of some deep emotion. I told them that I loved them both and that I would never forget them. At the time, I absolutely meant it and as I write these words, that little pendant is still around my neck and I wear it next to my symbol of the Holy Flame.
I had one last look around the building that had been my home for the last couple of weeks. Something in the place had left now, it had become an empty shell. I knew that Chestnut-Shell and Apple-Seed would not return here and had already collected what belongings they would keep and placed them into some small cloth bags. The building seemed to hang limply now, like an empty wineskin hanging from a peg.
I turned and left. The three of us had a quick hug outside before we headed into the main square of the small settlement.
It was crowded with other dryads who were watching silently. Kerrass was already there, standing grim and tall, the old mask of the Witcher was on him and he looked like the Witcher of the poetry, saga and painting. Both swords were on his back and his armour had been freshly cleaned, brushed and polished. I had long since learned that he only does that kind of thing when he wants to put on a show, but I did not resent him for it.
He stood with Sun-Flower and it was not lost on me that the two of them were exchanging regular smirks. I was happy for him. Even though in my deepest heart of hearts, I still hope that he and Sleeping Beauty will find some impossible way to get their happy ending, I know that to be the fairy story that it is. He had had tragedy in love back in Toussaint so I was pleased to see that he had found someone of like mind and soul to share some intimacy with here. He looked good for it. He seemed to stand a bit taller and a bit prouder.
Stefan was also there, armed and armoured again and although he had been released ready to set out, it was not lost on me that there were a couple of dryads that were standing nearby, armed with spear and shield. He was anxious to leave, dancing from one foot to the other, shifting his feet occasionally, adjusting the straps on his pack and recentering his sword on his belt. Small adjustments that are made to make you feel better.
The council was there and Maple-Leaf made the speech of farewell. It was short, sharp and to the point. She thanked us for obeying the rules and thanked me, especially for the daughters that I had given the community. She promised that those daughters would be looked after and cherished by the community as a whole and that those daughters would be educated as to who I was and the kind of man that I was. Chestnut-Shell and Apple-Seed were holding my hands at that point and both squeezed their reassurances at that point.
We were then introduced to the women that would be guiding us further into the forest as well as some of the scouts and guards that would help us along our way. The way they said it seemed to suggest that they were not there to ensure keep us from trying to escape, more giving the impression that they were an escort rather than a guard, despite the low grumbling that I could hear coming from Stefan.
Then came the time of farewell. I was actually rather touched by the people that came to wish me goodbye. I didn’t see much of the farewell wished to Kerrass but I know that he and the General, Apple-Seed’s aunt, Sunflower as was, had a long, passionate and very… explicit kiss to the approval of the other guards watching.
Elm-Branch came to see me and she gave me a hug. Again, she told me that she wished that she could have kept me for herself before she kissed my cheek and returned to the crowd. I had a bear-hug from Sunflower myself as she thanked me for being gentle with Apple-Seed.
“She looks different now.” She told me. “More confident. There is a sureness in her step and pride in her movements that was not there before. I thank you for that.”
“It was always there,” I replied, correctly because you can’t fake that kind of thing. It needs to come from within. “But for my part in helping her bring that out, you are welcome.”
The Weapon-Mistress and the innkeeper also came to say farewell with a final hug and a wave. The Weapons-Mistress was particularly grateful for my knocking some of the arrogance out of some of her students.
Yew-Branch came. She hugged Kerrass first and said some things to him before she came to me and hugged me.
“It is a shame you have to go.” She told me. “I will miss you I think.”
“You only think?” I wondered.
“Yes.” She grinned. “The Witcher more than you. He runs a bit closer to my tastes in that direction. Tall, warrior build, muscles, the scent of danger. You know how it is.”
I laughed, I liked this version of her. Trayka had been prickly, defensive, angry and resentful. There had been cruelty in Trayka’s humour but in the change to becoming Yew-Branch, that harsh edge had been smoothed away. Her humour still had an edge to it but she was far more able to laugh at herself now.
“I know how it is,” I told her. “Take care of yourself Yew-Branch. I hope that I do not forget you.”
“You’d better not.” She joked then she gave me the hug and whispered in my ear. “Be careful of the holy man. You cannot trust him. I know you like him and I have no doubt that he would even be considered a good man out in the world, but if your positions had been reversed, he would not have lifted a finger to save you.”
“I will remember,” I told her.
“I really will miss you, scholar.” She told me and I could hear a suspicious tremor in her voice.
“And I will miss you, Huntress,” I told her.
She pulled away before pulling her face into a considering, surprised expression. “Hmmm. More muscle than I thought. I should have tried taking you for a ride when I had the chance.”
There was some laughter, including from Apple-Seed and even Chestnut-Shell smirked.
I am not going to tell you what Apple-Seed and Chestnut-Shell said. Nor will I say what I told them back. Those wounds are still too fresh.
But it could no longer be put off. I allowed the desire to get back on the road again to take the lead. I pushed Ariadne’s face and shape into my mind’s eye and we set out.
It felt good to be moving again but at the same time, even with the thought of Ariadne strong in my mind. I could not resist a short look back. Apple-Seed and Chestnut-Shell were standing together, arms around each other and resting their heads together as they watched us go. I lifted my hand in farewell and they both waved back. The last thing I saw of them was that Yew-Branch was moving towards them.
I will not lie to you, dear reader. As I turned back to the trail, I had to wipe the tears from my eyes.