Lumeia

0 (L.D.)

17 Years later

The off-beat tempo of pistons firing and rubber balls thudding off the wall echoed around the stone boundaries of the training room.

Jace caught each of the projectiles that the machine shot rapidly against the walls, all while keeping his feet planted firmly in place and his head forward, eyes shifting to follow the trajectory of each ball. The latest upgrades to his bioware had made the once challenging task annoyingly simple.

Heat warmed his hands as he caught the thirtieth ball in a row. He didn't even have to count. His mind tracked it without him meaning to, offering up the number without effort. Anger burrowed in his chest. For weeks he'd crushed all his previous records. He was ready. And nothing infuriated him more than that.

Ten years, dozens of upgrades, countless hours of training, but he was still so weak in the only way that actually mattered to him. It was clear because despite that there was no joy to be had in the terrible days to come, he could not help but feel the misguided and undeniable prick of joy at the thought of maybe glimpsing her again.

Pathetic.

Thud.

A ball flew off the wall and he shot his hand out to catch it. Wheeled around and threw it right at the opening of the machine where another ball was about to release.

The two collided in the tube and splintered it along its seams. A sucking sound released from the pressure building and then balls burst into the air in every direction.

He slammed his heel against the machine, knocked it to the ground, and then ripped the exposed cables away from inside. Finally, it gasped and died.

His breath came in shallow spurts.

"We can do something about that temper." Vehru spoke from behind him but he didn't turn to look. His fists coiled.

"Although," she continued. "A temper can be useful."

He breathed out slowly. "What do you want?"

"It's time. But you must know that, given your little fit."

"Like I said." Jace ground his teeth. "What do you want?"

"I thought we should talk?"

"What more is there to say? I have my orders."

Quiet footsteps. He only heard them because he still had his improved hearing turned on. Vehru had the steps of a seasoned killer. Slender fingers settled against his forearm, tender in their touch.

"This is going to be hard for you. It's okay to need help." Vehru's voice was soft. Actually soft.

"Don't you fucking dare." Jace ripped away.

"Jace." She sounded as convincingly kind as a summer day was hot. "Hate me, but don't turn away the only help you have."

He did face her now, and despite that his loathing burned like an inferno between them, despite that rage thickened the air to the point that he couldn't even breathe, despite that his hulking form shadowed hers, Vehru smiled gently at him. In total control.

"I can make this easier on you." Vehru said.

"Why would I want it to be easier?" His voice rumbled. "It shouldn't be easy."

Compassion brightened her golden eyes. "Fine. I understand."

Long ago, before Aeryn had been forced to go to Earth, he'd already honed his body for combat. But since then Vehru had crafted him into something more. That man, Petrin, who'd tried to kill them had been right. Vehru was as concerned with who the Witness left behind as she was with the Witness themself. Jace's once toned arms now bulged with sinewy muscle and thick veins carrying nearly as much biofluid as blood. The crystal blue tint made it look like his veins glowed beneath his skin if looking close enough in the right lighting. Painful enhancements had further strengthened his skin and bones than what the treatments when he was younger had done.

What would Aeryn think of him? Would the same fear that drove Petrin to detonate the bomb fill her eyes too?

It might not be possible for Aeryn to fear anything but this woman standing before him. He might look more threatening, but Vehru could crush him. Her biomechanical body didn't require thick muscle, nor did the weapons she wielded. She could afford to look harmless when she was anything but.

"I saw her," Vehru said. "Don't you want to know how she is? What she's been doing all these years?"

Sorrow wound through all the other feelings and crushed him deep inside where enhancements couldn't strengthen him. Jace would have cut off his right hand for one word about Aeryn, but he knew to take absolutely nothing from Vehru. It never came free.

"You're so stubborn," Vehru said.

"There's only one thing we need to discuss about Aeryn. You need to spare her. You've hurt her enough."

"Spare her in what way?" Vehru tilted her head. "Sometimes to live is the cruelest punishment."

As badly as he wanted to lash out at her, he knew the costs. "You were once on a conquered planet. Do not make the mistake of thinking I'm no threat to you."

Vehru had the gall to smirk. "Calm down. It's been hard on her, yes. But she hasn't hurt like you have." Her soft hand came along his cheek, much softer than human skin, even though it was nearly impenetrable. "You know that."

"Why didn't you make everyone else forget?"

"Is that what you really want?"

Aeryn's eyes filled his mind. The warmth of her kiss on his cheek. "No."

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The pause almost made him believe Vehru actually felt bad. "You know the protocols for our psychological conditioning are very specific. Your suffering is meaningful. Hers was not."

He laughed bitterly and pushed her back. "You've prepared me well. Thank you. Now let me have what's left of my life here in peace."

"You're not prepared. What you'll soon face, the decisions you'll have to make, it's too much for any man. You need to remember or you won't be ready."

"No–"

She didn't even give Jace the time to protest before she covered his eyes with her hand. The training room rushed away in a blur of gray. Splotches of color blurred until he blinked and cleared his vision to the beach.

There Aeryn was, lying beside him on the beach all those years ago as though it was happening for the first time now. He could feel her heart. Smell her skin. Jace breathed out slowly. "Aeryn."

He'd thought of this memory often, but never had it been so vivid as now. Reaching his fingers out, he trailed her cheek, and warmth bubbled up around the pain in his heart.

"I can't believe we're doing this." Her voice was so clear. As vibrant as when he'd heard it in real life.

"It's not that bad." Jace spoke, almost losing himself to who he'd been that day, except for the collision of nostalgia and longing in his chest.

"Yes, it is that bad!" Aeryn hit his chest. "We're supposed to be working."

"There's nothing to do right now."

"Your justifications. You're the one who's supposed to be obsessed with training."

Jace sighed. "When it's time to have fun, I have fun."

"It's not time to have fun when we're gathering valuable intel."

"It's only practice and there's nothing to gather right now."

"Trin will be able to find us and she'll be pissed–"

He dragged her beneath him and ripped a giggle from her throat. Kissed her until she couldn't speak such reason to him. Most couples had a full two weeks together after their ceremonies. They couldn't afford that time. So they could have an hour.

He lost himself so deeply in her, he could no longer feel the agonizing years separating them or the bottomless pain he'd suffered. It was only her. All her.

Finally, her.

Jace breathed in and suddenly there was only coldness pressing against him. A hard, cold floor. His face was wet with tears he didn't remember shedding.

He wasn't ready to leave her yet. He'd waited so long.

Vehru knelt beside him and worked her fingers through his hair. Jace cringed. He didn't have the strength to brush her off, but the glide of her fingers was like electricity sparking through his body. How could she do this to him? How could she give Aeryn back to him and rip her away without a moment to savor the goodbye?

"It's almost over," Vehru whispered.

He could take no more. Maybe soon he would be able to savor the memory. Right now, it was like losing her all over again.

Vehru's nails clipped his scalp. Real pain sprouted in every hair follicle. He knew what was coming, but there was no preparing for this.

Sharp pain trickled down his body and ignited every single nerve-ending. He screamed so hard it turned into a hoarse choking sound that he had no control over.

"A few more seconds."

Her words slithered through the agony piercing every layer of his body. He trembled, and sweat, and writhed, helpless as his every cell caught fire with pure pain.

It managed to burn away the linger of Aeryn's lips on his.

Vehru drew her fingers back and the pain ended as quickly as it started. He struggled for breath, listless, slick with a gloss of sweat over his entire body.

"I can do it to her too." Vehru's voice was right in his ear. Her breath warm and wet. "I will do it to her if you don't do as I say. The Neuroweb is in all of you now. Your squad. Aeryn. Your son."

There had been a time where he had almost gotten used to that all-encompassing agony. Back before Vehru had banned her partner, Morfrain, from their world after he'd taken to the torture in an attempt to break Jace. Vehru had railed against Morfrain for such barbarism and promised that she would never do it. Jace had actually believed her, because in ten years, she hadn't done it once. Until now.

Pain laced Vehru's words. "Be good, Jace. Please."

His fingers went lax and unfurled.

The image of his forever girl flooded his mind with her kind bronze eyes. Aeryn…

And then he faded into a sleep too deep for even the one he loved to reach him.

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Phantom pain still zipped down Jace's spine every so often. He'd just finished cleaning the training room when he heard footsteps behind him.

"I'm going." Such a young, determined voice. Laced with ignorance and foolishness.

Jace gripped the door post, squeezing his eyes closed.

"You can't stop me, Dad."

His nostrils flared and he whipped around, muscles tightening, voice booming. "Like hell I can't."

But the red-haired boy didn't cower before him or shrink back. Instead he stared Jace down fearlessly.

"Levi." Jace's chest ached.

"She's my mother."

That one word sucked the air from his lungs. Never had Jace forbidden him from saying it, but they rarely uttered it.

Angry tears flooded Levi's eyes. "She was stolen from me once. I won't let you take her away this time."

Pain shattered holes in Jace's ribs. "Son."

"It's my choice. Death already told me I could go."

"Death? Since when do you call Vehru that?"

His son might have been small still at a young eleven, but inside, where Jace couldn't see, his only child had grown. Suddenly and without warning. "You can't fight a war alone, Dad. It's my battle too. I'm coming and it's out of your hands."

"You're eleven fucking years old, Levi. You're not coming."

His son slammed the door shut. Angry footsteps pounded up the stairs and away.

Jace's heart hammered in his ears. Too many things all at once. Ten years of bitterness and longing and now his only son, the only piece of Aeryn he'd had all these years, in harm's way.

He smashed his fist through the wall, knocking open a gaping wound in the stone. Pebbles of debris fell to his feet. Blood dribbled from his knuckles. No relief.

Never any fucking relief.

Within minutes, though, he'd climbed the stairs to Levi's room, regretting how harshly he'd spoken. Jace sighed when he found the door locked. There was no time for this today. "I'm coming in."

"No."

Jace rolled his eyes, ripped the door knob off, and tossed it on the ground.

"Dad!" Levi jumped onto his knees on his bed.

Jace scooped him up like he used to in years past that didn't seem that long ago and sat down with him. He held the boy tightly. "Do you know why I've trained every day for ten years?"

Levi was quiet. Scared and angry. Hurt.

"I trained for only one reason." He spoke with his voice deep and commanding. "To bring your mom back to you." When he pulled back, he looked into his son's eyes. "There is nothing that will stand in my way. You understand me?"

He nodded, eyes round.

"I can't worry about you and do this. You're doing a good job training. Keep it up. You can grow up and protect your mom. That's the mission you can focus on today."

Levi blinked away the tears in his eyes. It was rare for the boy to cry. "Why would Mom need me to protect her when she has you? You're the best there is." As Aeryn's son, he was way too smart, and as much as Jace loved him for it, this wasn't the first time it had caused problems. "You're bringing mom home to us, not me, and you'll protect us."

"Of course."

"Not of course." Levi grabbed Jace's bloodied hand and lifted it up. "You wouldn't let me hurt myself."

His chest softened. "I should control my temper better."

"I can't sit here and do nothing. You wouldn't be able to either."

Jace pushed his son's hair back and sighed as he hugged him again. "Please, buddy. Please, don't fight me right now. Okay?"

He could feel his son melting, but the boy was too stubborn to concede.

"I love you, Levi."

His son hugged him tight now. "I love you too, Dad. You can't leave me behind. Promise you'll be back."

Never had he promised anything to the child he couldn't keep. "I will give everything for our family to be together again."

It was the best he could do.