Lumiea

Year -19 (L.D.)

They'd taken each captive in separate vehicles and departed in different directions. Aeryn caught one glimpse of the outside world before they tied the blindfold over her eyes. They were in the countryside. A very flat countryside with hot, humid air.

No one spoke to her as they drove for hours. She traveled with a driver and four soldiers. And she thought of every way she could possibly kill them.

Which wasn't very many because she couldn't even try biting their jugulars with this damn gag. Couldn't reach the windows to break the glass. Couldn't really move.

And she was fucking thirsty. The dehydration drained her energy and slowed her thoughts, reminding her of when the drug had been leaving her system.

Her cracked lips stung. Her throat screamed with pain. Each breath hurt.

At least half a day had passed like this when they pulled to a stop and lifted Aeryn off the seat. She couldn't resist trying to fight, even though she knew she wouldn't manage to break free.

Aeryn began counting the seconds once they entered the doorway. Noted the turn they took and the short steps they descended.

Arms dropped her and pain splintered through her side when she hit the ground hard. Someone ripped her blindfold free and finally undid her gag.

Aeryn coughed and tried to find an ounce of moisture in her mouth.

"Get her up."

Another English speaker with a perfect accent.

A man grabbed for her, but she tried to push herself up without him. Annoyed, he grunted and shoved her up against the wall. Aeryn jerked back, drawing her knees up.

Rebel soldiers filled the room. Seven she could see. But she heard more up the stairs.

The room looked like it had been stripped down. It smelled musty, like a basement.

"Give her water." One of the older men said it. His sharp stare remained on Aeryn.

Even though some of the soldiers grumbled, one of the men knelt down and brought water to her lips. Pain flared as it poured over her cracked lips and into her dry mouth. She drank desperately, welcoming the sting, straining for as much as she could get. When he drew back, Aeryn almost begged for another drink. But she wouldn't be pathetic. She wouldn't ask these people for anything.

The man who had spoken looked at a woman near him. "Take her to the bathroom before her bladder bursts."

The lack of water had helped with the issue of needing to pee, but Aeryn did ache from it. The one he'd spoken to and two more women hauled her to her feet.

They dragged her up the stairs and immediately to the right into a bathroom.

And privacy was certainly too much to ask for because they didn't even give warning before unfastening her belt for her.

"Where are we?" Aeryn asked.

None of them spoke. Maybe they didn't have good control of their accents and didn't want to give themselves away.

Aeryn didn't have the opportunity to even try to leave fingerprints behind. One of the countless plans she'd come up with before. They shoved her back against the wall again as soon as they'd returned to the basement.

Some of the soldiers stood at the edge of the room while several remained near her. She looked to the man who seemed to be in charge and studied his pale green eyes. A closely shaved white beard covered his face, but did not hide the thick scars along the right side of his cheek and jaw. Strange to see scarring. He must have grown up in one of the rare parts of the world that didn't have adequate medical care, which likely meant he'd lived as a rebel for a very long time. Maybe born to rebel parents.

"What do I call you?" Aeryn asked.

"We'll go with Petrin."

"How did your people get their hands on an Aerolux?"

A smile twisted his lips. "Fascinating what people ask first. Do you need more water?"

Yes. Aeryn almost yelled it at him. Obviously. These people had captured her, though. Playing polite felt like a lie.

He didn't wait for her answer and instead nodded at someone. Aeryn drank until her stomach felt uneasy. Her head lowered when she was done. Exhaustion bore down on her.

"Rest," Petrin said. "When you wake, you can eat. Then we'll talk more."

"I don't need rest or food. I need to know how you got that Aerolux."

"Don't you need to know if you'll be one we choose to live or die?"

"No, because it's not up to you whether I live or die. It's up to me." Aeryn leaned forward. "If I fail and let you kill me, it's my fault. So I don't need to beg you for my life. I need to know what my enemy is capable of."

He stared with an unreadable expression for several seconds and then he laughed quietly. "I was hoping I wouldn't like you. It's much easier that way. I'm sure you know I'm not going to divulge information I don't want you to have."

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"Any response is some kind of answer."

"Smart girl." He tapped his temple. "You're young and not trained in psyche-ops but you're sharp. I'll have to watch out for you."

"How are you operating the Aerolux without Commander Vehru's permission? The technology is so advanced–"

"Everything will make more sense when you aren't dehydrated and exhausted. It was not a suggestion when I said to sleep."

Aeryn's nostrils flared. "I won't be fooled into thinking you're on my side just because you're acting nice. We're enemies."

"You consider me to be your enemy. It remains to be seen whether you're mine." With his eyes still on her, he said to his soldiers, "Turn off the lights. Our Witness needs her rest."

There were only so many ways Aeryn could fight. It didn't matter that sleeping was the best thing she could do right now. After they forced her onto her side like she was a child being told to nap, she fought the sleep.

She just wasn't successful.

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Aeryn woke feeling more tired than when she fell asleep. Her body ached from the dehydration she'd suffered from and hunger pangs squeezed her stomach.

Petrin sat beside her with a sandwich and more water. "You'll want to refuse to eat. I can tell that about you. But I don't want to spend time fighting over this. You want to talk and so do I."

The rest had helped her with gaining control of her emotions enough that she did not act in blind anger and instead opened her mouth, glaring at him despite accepting the food he offered.

It felt so strange for this man to feed her. His eyes looked kind. Kind and pained. She could see the danger in him, but she didn't see a wildness or blind hatred.

When she finished, he sat back more to give her space.

"You're training to go to Earth to conquer their planet," Petrin said. "I know you truly believe you're liberating them. But when you conquer the planet, many of you will die there. Many of you will return. A much smaller number will escape and survive on the planet."

Aeryn couldn't breathe. It had never occurred to her that anyone would remain on the planet they liberated.

"My grandparents helped conquer Lumiea." Patron leaned against one knee. "They faked their deaths and remained living here to help keep the truth alive, so someone on this planet would know the real history. I know things you've never been allowed to know. That's why I feel sorry for you."

"I feel sorry for you because you must have never known a normal life."

"Normal life is over-rated. Look at you. You gave your childhood for this cause and you don't even believe in it anymore."

Even when she opened her mouth to deny it, the words wouldn't leave. It had been building in her for a long time, growing with every rebel whose freedom or life she helped to take. None of the justifications seemed enough anymore. A cancer of discontentment festered in her body, slowly growing into hate. Hatred for her naivety, for her military career, for Commander Vehru and the Federation. Hatred for the rebels for not surrendering and keeping this war going.

Hatred for herself for not joining them.

"We weren't sure if we would take you," Petrin said. "We had many candidates we monitored. But then we saw you take that bracelet."

The one that the man she'd killed had curled his hand around in his last moments. "Rory," she whispered.

"Rory was his wife. His name was Joon and he used to be a combat soldier for Commander Vehru. Lived in Iyla like you and married an analyst. His wife became disillusioned with the cause and was dismissed. Joon couldn't let her go. He ran away from Iyla to her home city to find her. Except she didn't remember him."

Aeryn twisted her brows.

"The memories she had of her time training in Iyla didn't match her experiences at all. That seed of skepticism must have remained though, because Joon convinced her to leave with him. She never regained her memory, but together they did uncover many others with her same experience."

"Vehru erases their memories?"

"Yes. But we've found remnants of the old person remain. We're more than just our memories. Our personalities, our skills, our preferences shape us. And maybe there's something deeper than that. Maybe there's a soul in us that refuses to let go of who we are even when they try to take it from us."

Aeryn always knew that failure could mean going home, even though they rarely dismissed someone at her stage. Was it really true they also would take her memories? The violation of losing something so personal and special was unthinkable.

"Joon and Rory fought well together after they joined us. She died two years ago in battle. They were both so dedicated." Pain twisted his features as he looked down for a moment and then back to her eyes. "Did Joon die well?"

Aeryn couldn't rid herself of the look of life snapping out of his eyes when she aimed the gun at his face and pulled the trigger. This was where she deserved to be. Tied up and about to be killed. She deserved worse than this.

"He fought and died very well," Aeryn said.

Petrin smiled again. "Good."

"How can you sit here with me?" If Petrin had killed someone from her squad, there was no way she could even pretend to be kind to him.

"You're not the one we're fighting. I don't hate you anymore than I hate the gun you used to kill him. You're young still. Most people in your position never change and if they do, they need more time. Maybe you're the kind of person who will grow up to do the right thing. I told you. You're not my enemy."

"I killed someone you clearly respect."

"He was trying to kill you. That was survival. Now the war you fought? That was between Vehru and us. I question how much of a say any of us have in it. The level of manipulation she and her AI are capable of… It's hard to hate anyone when it's impossible to say if we even have free will."

"If we don't really have much free will, why would Vehru want this war with the rebels?" Aeryn remembered the old woman last year saying it was training for them to take over Earth, but she wanted to hear Petrin's response.

"You're too smart to ask such a dumb question."

She held his stare.

"Ask me something you really want to know. Not about the Aerolux or Vehru." He leaned in, talking in a hushed voice. "Ask me about the truth. The truth that matters. Ask me why this war against Vehru is worth fighting."

It was the question that had haunted her. What were the rebels fighting for other than their own pride? Being taken captive, Aeryn could understand better how it could feel worth dying just to say no. Only their war felt deeper than the quest for freedom and autonomy. Plenty of people had fought and died for those, but Aeryn couldn't shake the sense that the rebels she'd fought saw something she had no idea even existed. They seemed to live in a different reality than she did.

The question burned on her lips. But she was afraid to ask it. To even think it. Afraid of what it might mean and what she was capable of doing if she felt convinced of something. This conversation was as dangerous as a gun held to her head, shooting thoughts into her mind that could get her killed. Except it felt right. True.

"This is an interrogation." Aeryn spoke it slowly. "You're deciding whether I should live or die. You want to know if my loyalty can be swayed and if I'll fight against Vehru from within. You want to get the Witness on your side and kill anyone who won't stand with you."

Petrin's eyes looked more serious. "Ask me, Aeryn."

"Why?" Tears filled her eyes as images of all those she'd watch die in the last year flooded her mind. She could feel the old woman's weathered hands on her. The dried blood on the bracelet beneath her thumb. "Why are you fighting a war our planet lost before you were even born?"

"We're not fighting for Lumiea." Petrin spoke with a depth of conviction that made Aeryn realize she'd never seen true conviction in her life. "We're fighting for Earth."