Lumiea

Year -20 (L.D.)

Aeryn squeezed her hands together beneath the table and looked up at her new squad. Music played quietly in the background of the restaurant while other young soldiers met with their new people.

"This is like a weird first date." Nikka grinned next to her. "With five people."

"We need something stronger if we're on a date," Jace said and flicked his glass of 'soda'.

Here in the city, language became more confusing, as they were supposed to speak and think–yes, think–in English but were surrounded by normal people speaking the local language. Aeryn did not usually struggle with this but being surrounded by the language she'd grown up speaking, she caught herself having to remember to think in English. Perhaps, it was silly to force this upon herself whenever no one would actually know what language she thought in, but it felt wrong to her, like she was betraying her duty, to not follow this command.

"I guess I don't know how to get to know you people." Lyon chuckled. "I didn't know I was such an awkward person."

"There's plenty of time to get to know each other." Alix finished his drink and pushed the empty glass to the edge of the table. "I say we forget about that and just have fun. We'll figure each other out with time."

"There's some information we need before going into the field." Aeryn ignored Nikka's sigh, knowing her friend would think she was being too serious. "We need to be prepared."

It was harder to ignore the look Jace gave her–was it judgement? More teasing? He wanted to make fun of her for being so focused? Well, she'd gotten here by focusing.

Aeryn had to calm herself down. They all had worked hard to get here. Her way was not the best way. This wasn't a competition between them. They were family now. A weird, confusing, awkward family.

"I have your files stored already." Trin tapped her temple. "It'll take me ten minutes tops to get together an analysis on each person. Everyone can study it when we're alone."

What an incredible mind. Aeryn had not been able to work directly with many analysts. Thanks to the AI integration, Trin could create detailed reports rapidly and have them sent to their personal devices. Phenomenal.

"So this is what it's like to be in the presence of a genius." Jace stretched his arm along the back of the booth behind Trin's head and looked down at her beside him. Aeryn hadn't realized how short the other woman was until now. "I'm impressed. Now the rest of us never have to think again."

Trin rolled her eyes, the seriousness of her expression softening slightly as she looked up at Jace.

Aeryn's stomach felt tight with nerves. Something stronger wouldn't be too bad of an idea. "Guess we have to have fun then."

Nikka pounded the table and howled so suddenly that Aeryn flinched. "If even Mama says fun, then we're having fun, people."

Aeryn frowned. "I'm not–"

"Okay, Mama." Alix slid his arms around her shoulder and leaned against her. "Buy us drinks then. And don't say we aren't supposed to drink. We're off duty."

Her cheeks felt warm as she looked at Alix, not used to having a guy so close to her. "I won't say it then. I'll just think it."

The whole table laughed at that and Aeryn couldn't help but catch Jace's eyes that lit up as he grinned. His arm was above Trin still, but his look lingered on Aeryn, and Alix's arm around her burned like her face.

Incredibly confusing.

She used the excuse of going to the bar to escape the closeness of her new teammate, whose intentions she could not begin to fathom. Was he being friendly? Was he feeling out whether any of the ladies on his squad would be interested? Was Aeryn just a loser who didn't know how to have friends and shouldn't have even found it noteworthy enough to panic over?

"Woah." Her eyes widened as she stared at the prices on the menu. Her allowance as a private-in-training suddenly seemed very meager. "What do you recommend? That's cheap?"

She'd almost asked it in English. What a mess.

"You don't drink much, do you?" The woman at the bar gave her a kind smile without any of the mockery Aeryn worried would accompany the question.

She leaned in with a pained expression. "Help me."

The bartender laughed and prepared some drinks for her. "On the house. Just don't tell anyone. I don't want to pay for any other kids. Especially, considering most people your age don't get to drink."

Aeryn had honestly forgotten that this was one of the privileges of being in the program. If they were grown enough to serve, then they were grown enough to drink or do whatever else fully adult citizens were entrusted to do.

As she started to grab her drinks, a new problem arose. How did she carry all of these? Aeryn felt a jolt of panic right before Nikka sidled up beside her.

"I got you." She grabbed three and brushed her arm against Aeryn. "Try to have fun. You deserve it."

"I think I'm sweating," she whispered. "I'm terrible at this."

"No, you aren't. We have fun all the time. Be yourself." Nikka sniggered as she turned away, so Aeryn barely caught her next words. "And don't look at Jace too long."

The fire that had finally cooled from her face flared like an inferno. Her mouth opened wide but her friend had already fled, surely knowing the wrath she would face.

Unfair.

Totally unfair.

The discomfort she felt was for their shared history. Aeryn wanted to say it to her friend as she sauntered away but it felt completely pathetic and like it would ironically undermine her argument to actually justify herself.

The anger managed to make her forget her nerves when she set the drinks on the table–a bit too hard–and sat down.

"Woah." Alix mopped up what had splashed onto the table with a napkin. "What'd you bring?"

Shit. She had no idea. She belonged in a lab tinkering with body mods, not socializing with people who looked way more comfortable than she had ever felt in her life. "Does it matter?"

He threw his head back and laughed. "Guess not if it gets the job done." Alix lifted his glass in the air. "May we not get ourselves killed this week and live to drink again."

"Morbid," Jace said. "But fitting." And followed it up with a gulp.

As skeptical as Aeryn had been, the drinks and her friend's advice did help. She forced her mind to turn off just like she did when the pain of training or wounds distracted her. Every so often, thoughts would slip back in. Fear of what was coming and worry about how it would feel to come to care about these people. Disbelief and shock that one day she'd likely feel more at home with them than anyone else.

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Mostly, she had to push off the nostalgia she'd feel when Jace would smile and look a little more like the boy she'd known. Remind her of the home she'd never have again.

Nikka had switched spots with Aeryn at some point to sit closer to Alix, her friend much more excited for the nearness than she had been. Trin had drawn Lyon into a conversation about how the AI integration worked and Jace, who sat between them, didn't look at all interested.

That moment as the two of them were the only ones not swept in conversation, they looked at one another, alone in the midst of their new squad. He looked more serious then, his lax smile falling. He leaned forward, nodding at her.

"I guess I was wrong."

Her mouth felt dry. "About?"

"Looks like we'll have to be friends after all."

"I don't have to be your friend." She managed to smile. "I just have to put up with you."

"Hm." He tilted his head, looking more amused now. "You always were hard to catch, Aerie. You ran faster than the other kids at the park." Jace shrugged. "Guess you still do."

Aeryn didn't know what to say. It was disarming how he talked about their childhood, but it also made her feel such weighty sadness. Instead of making herself sound lighthearted, she spoke with the heaviness she felt. "I miss home today."

Nikka and Alix were laughing beside her, but she and Jace were quiet. Finally, he nodded.

"Yeah," he said. Pain flickered in his eyes as he glanced down. But soon he was smiling as if he'd never felt a bad feeling in his life. "You dance, Mama?"

Aeryn groaned. "Oh no. Why is this a thing now? Please don't call me that."

"What about you?" Jace nudged Lyon and then Trin. "You?"

Trin didn't respond. Her trademark serious expression said enough.

Lyon looked at Jace with disbelief. "You want to dance with me, big guy?"

"Hell yes, I want to dance with you."

The other man twisted his brows. "I don't think you'll be able to handle it."

"Sounds like a challenge."

"Dance!" Nikka jumped up, hit the table, and fell back down with a curse. "Ow!"

Alix laid his head against the table as he laughed, knocking into the three glasses he'd already emptied.

Aeryn's friend was rubbing her thigh and wincing. "I want to dance. Me!"

Lyon wound his arm around Jace's. "Find your own man. I'm dancing."

Jace shrugged and scooted with Lyon. "You can have round two."

Nikka feigned indignation. "I don't want to dance with either of you." She wrapped her arms around Aeryn's neck. "She's my best friend. I want to dance with her."

"Damn it." Alix sat up. "Not me? I really thought you were going to say me."

Though Aeryn protested, Nikka dragged her out past the bar to a small area, where it was quite noteworthy to point out that no one else was dancing.

"People don't dance here," Aeryn whispered.

"We dance here." Nikka pointed at the bartender. "Please, please will you turn the music up, just a little."

The woman smiled at them. "I love when you kids come to town. Why not."

Before the music even swelled, Nikka was swaying. "Don't be shy," she whispered to Aeryn.

She did like to dance. Not in public, though. Never in public.

Nikka grabbed her wrists and it was too late. They danced like they did alone when no one was looking, when it didn't matter if they were good or not. After her friend gave her a few shots, it mattered even less.

Still, Aeryn was too embarrassed to look at anyone, so it wasn't until Lyon brushed against her that she even glanced at the other two.

Jace was right behind her now, bending closer. "You do dance." His breath hit her ear.

Aeryn twisted, looking at him over her shoulder. "Only with Nikka."

"And if I dance with Nikka?" Jace asked.

She drew her arms around her friend and swayed with her. "She'd never dance with you."

Nikka giggled.

Jace backed up. "That hurt."

Lyon must have gotten a lot more to drink while they'd been dancing and Aeryn hadn't been watching, because his words slurred slightly. "I'll fix it." He tapped his fingers against Jace's heart. "All better."

Though they'd been the first to dance, others joined, until bodies were packed together, and the floor was sticky where a full beer had spilled. Aeryn wiped the sweat dampening the back of her neck and pushed Alix back when he tried to dance too close to Nikka.

"She's only dancing with me," Aeryn said.

"Possessive." Alix groaned. "Can't catch a break tonight."

Trin sat at the table still, somehow not looking bored as she watched them. Even though Aeryn had basically told Alix to go, she nudged her friend toward him. Soon all five of them were together, long past worrying about how to get to know one another.

Jace used the thrust of his hand mods to hover slightly and soon half the combat soldiers were giving it a try.

"Don't you dare break anything, children." The bartender threw her rag on the bar. "I'm serious. Watch your mods."

"You're a terrible dancer," Nikka yelled at Alix as he slid up close behind her.

"The charming kind of terrible," he said.

"The terrible kind of terrible."

Lyon shifted from dancing with Aeryn to return to Jace and grabbed his shoulders, his face red now from drinking. "Thank you for being my dance partner. I will cherish the memory always." Even though he laughed, he quickly followed it up by popping a kiss on Jace's lips.

Aeryn's eyes widened and Alix froze for a moment, hand on Nikka's hip.

Immediately, Lyon cried out and covered his face. "Forget that happened." He pivoted for Nikka as she waited with open arms. "I want to die already. Please just kill me."

Jace gently hooked his arm around Lyon's neck, clasping his shoulder from behind, as he tugged him from Nikka, and slowly melted his lips against the other man's.

There were screams and cheers from those nearby when Jace pulled back and glanced down Lyon's face. "Do I have to forget?" he asked. "It was nice."

Lyon was holding onto Nikka still though he leaned on Jace. "Oh." He then smiled sweetly, though he looked unsteady as he reached for the wall. "I need just a moment. I think you took my breath away."

Nikka doubled over laughing.

"Unexpected," Lyon said as he cleared his throat. Then he whisper-yelled to Nikka. "I think we just fell in love."

The two were grabbing each other as they cackled.

Aeryn found herself chuckling as well until Jace turned and their eyes met. Wiping his bottom lip that was still wet from the kiss, he gave a lopsided smirk. "I'd offer you one," he said, "But I figure if you only dance with Nikka, maybe you only kiss her too."

"I don't kiss Nikka," she said softly.

"You don't kiss anyone, do you?"

"No." Aeryn swayed with the music. "Thought you didn't have time for anything more."

"I have time for fun. On a night off, at least."

"Fun." Heat buzzed in Aeryn's middle from the drinking when she wasn't used to it and from dancing a little too close–something else she wasn't used to. "Teasing is the only fun you want to have with me. You've always liked getting a reaction out of me like when we were kids."

"It's so very nostalgic."

Aeryn worked just a little closer, calling his bluff, seeing if he truly didn't feel anything or if he was as confident as he acted. When her body grazed his, the smirk shifted just slightly and once again his eyes looked more serious. "Don't be slutty, Jace. Lyon and I won't kiss the same man on the same night."

"Fair," Jace said, his voice not so teasing as before. "I'm sorry for playing too much."

"It's easier to bond by playing and tell yourself things will always be so light-hearted. You're afraid of actually letting us in." Aeryn placed her hands on his shoulders gently, holding his gaze. "You're scared, just like I am. We should work through that before we have to go into the field. We all should."

It looked like Aeryn had smacked Jace for how his expression fell. She hadn't planned to say it, only she couldn't help caring, and she knew if they were going to succeed, they needed to be courageous enough to handle their feelings.

"We'll all be okay. We're going to do this together." Aeryn smiled softly at him "Go have fun, but tonight when you're alone, I want you to think about this. Get yourself ready."

She walked away while he stared at her silently.

Late in the night when the crowd had dwindled and the alcohol had settled over them like the fog of sleep, Aeryn sat in the booth with her head down.

"He's a heartbreaker," Lyon said with a sigh. "I can tell. My ex was like that. Wouldn't let anyone in. Hid it behind an easy smile. He almost made me lose my spot in the program." He was lying on the booth, out of sight from her. "Don't make that mistake, ladies. Don't let me."

"I'll take the next kiss for the team," Nikka said with a wink.

Lyon groaned. "That man might kiss me on a night off, but he won't remember me when the morning comes and it's time for duty. He won't remember anyone or anything. I've trained with him enough these past few months to see how he is."

Maybe Jace had meant it on the airbus. No friends. Nothing more either. But he had a squad now. They all did.

Aeryn wasn't the only one who would struggle with this adjustment.

She watched Lyon, already feeling for him what she'd felt for Nikka in the early days of their friendship. It wouldn't take long to bond with this crew and that connection would be put to the test out in the field.

Things would only get more difficult from here. She needed to enjoy the good nights when they came and not be so afraid of losing them that she pushed them away. Life was meant to be lived.