Right now I was sitting in a sofa next to a table.

Sitting in the same sofa was Shiona, Ronnie and the lady who’s probably a receptionist.

“”We apologize!””

On the other side of the table there was another sofa where the suitor-wannabes were sitting while bending forwards and apologising.

They were so numerous and many of them didn’t fit in the sofa and had to stand behind it.

“And what do you apologise for!?” shouted another man from one of the short sides of the table.

The man was wearing a black suit with a red tie and had salt and pepper hair tied into a horsetail behind his head. He also wore a pair of glasses.

‘Wonder if those are the auto-adjusting glasses we came for?’

“”We apologise for jumping to conclusions!””

“What conclusion did you jump to!?”

“”We assumed mister Plush was a man when Misses Shiona called him her husband!””

“Uhm… I am a man you know?”

“”Do you have a penis!?”” Shouted the suitor-wannabes in return.

I look down between my legs, I grab and shake a bit and-

“...No.”

-repond dejectedly.

“”Then you are no man!””

Next to me Shiona and the receptionist were blushing while Ronnie was falling asleep.

Back when the mob of suitor-wannabes had heard I was Shionas husband they got so angry they couldn’t move for a bit, while that was happening Ronnie handed me back over to Shiona and started glaring at the men like a hunter who just found a group of hares.

Wait…

Anyways, Ronnie was raring to go but before she could do anything this merchant, probably Ike by the way, and come and interrupted everything, so now Ronnie was bored out of her mind.

When we sat down on the sofa I had sat myself in the middle, Shiona and the receptionist then sat themselves next to me.

Or, well, the receptionist sat next to me until Ronnie picked her up like a kitten and put her down on the other side of Shiona from me while plopping herself down on the now vacant spot.

Ike was currently rubbing his temples while sighing.

“No, that’s wrong you fucking idiots!” Shouted Ike.

“”What!?”” Responded the men, completely taken aback at what they thought to have been the right answer having been proven wrong.

“You’re supposed to apologise to the customers for attacking them! It doesn’t matter why you attacked them, only that you did! Regardless of whether that is a man or not you should not attack customers!”

The group of men only grumbled in response, completely not agreeing and without regretting it one bit.

“But what if it had actually been a man…” Said one of them.

“Yeah, there’s no way we could let a man who experiences that live!” Shouted another.

“”Yeah!”” Shouted the rest with great vigor.

*sigh* Sighed Ike.

“I’m signing you all up for a temporary one month long transfer to our other store in Purchase port in Dayground!”

“”WHAT! WHY!?”” Shouted all the men, still not realizing they’d done something they needed to be punished for.

‘Dayground? If I remember right the guild receptionist in Krull said that Dayground was another country on a different island, to think these guys have store branches all the way over there…’

“Scratch that-”

“”Oh thank god…” Said all the men at once, yet again astonishing me with how they were completely in sync.

“Make it half a year!”

“”!””

**thud**

When Ike said that all the men started foaming from their mouths at once and all fell to the floor with their eyes rolled back.

Ike took out a wand from one of his suits pockets and a short while after using it a large number of people came into the room and started carrying away all the suitor-wannabes.

“Now that that’s done, allow me to apologise on their behalf, is there anything we could give you?” Asked Ike.

“Oh, ehm, don’t worry about it.” I say.

‘We’ve more money than we can spend so whether we get those glasses for free or not won’t make any difference.’ I think.

“Very well-”

“No no no, that just won’t do!” Interrupted the receptionist. “You guys are adventurers right?”

“Ehm, yes? But I don’t see how-”

“Ally! Sign these three up as our go-to adventurers and VIP members!” Shouted the lady while raising one hand and smiling dazzlingly.

‘Ally?’ I think and look back to the door that the suitor troop had been carried out through.

“Yes mam.” Someone said, but it didn’t come from the door.

Instead it came from Ike.

Wait…

‘Boy am I glad I didn’t call him Ike out loud and make a fool of myself.’

Next to me Shiona seemed to think the same thing while Ronnie wasn’t even phased.

‘Hang on…’

I nudge Ronnie’s arm.

*nudge*

“...”

*nudge*

“...Suu…”

Turns out she’d fallen asleep a while ago…

“Your friend seems tired, there’s another sofa that I could help you lay her down on.” Said… Ally?

Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.

“Uhm, excuse me?”

“Yes?”

“She called you Ally, but is that your full name?”

“... Lady Ike may do as she wishes but I’d prefer if others called me Alexander.”

“... I see.”

“Well all that aside!” Said Ike gleefully. “What did you guys come here for?”

“Right, well we came to get one of our friends a souvenir, one of those magic pairs of glasses.”

‘Come to think of it, Iwonder whether they have any of the other things we needed?’

“Oh yes! I’ll go get a pair right away!”

“Ah, wai-”

‘She didn’t even check if we had enough money… And I never got to ask if they had the other stuff...’

*Ahem* Coughed Alexander.

“Yes?”

“I do hope none of you are thinking of taking advantage of the lady’s kindness? The lady seems to like you so it would be a true shame if something were to, ehem, “happen” to you.”

“...” x3

“B-but of course.” I somehow responded.

Admittedly the three of us had been getting a little… Arrogant? No, overconfident maybe? Anyways, we were getting carried away thinking there wasn’t that much we needed to worry about, but the pressure that Alexander gave off while saying that had made both Shiona and Ronnie get drenched in their own sweat.

I would’ve joined them, but I sorta didn’t have any sweat glands or whatever.

“I appreciate it. I’ve already warned all our workers but they seem to be getting braver as of late, I was worried I’d lost my touch.” Said Alexander while smiling gently.

Though his eyes were smiling in a different sense.

“I’m back!” Shouted the ever cheerful Ike while she bursted through the door as though to clear up the awkward atmosphere. “Here you go! One pair of adaptable glasses!”

“Thanks, how much is it? Also there’s a few other things we’d like if you have them.”

“Right! Ally here knows the stock better than I so you should probably take it up with him.”

I was getting a little worried over how Ike just glossed over my first question, but they can’t be that expensive right?

“Then Alexander, could you help me with some of these?” I ask and take out a piece of paper where I’d written down the things we hadn’t gotten yet.

“Let’s see… Yes I believe we may have most, if not all, of the wares you’re looking for.”

“That’s great. Actually we’re kind of new in Logholm so we didn’t know where else to look.”

“That is indeed convenient, but I do believe you’ve all forgotten to introduce yourselves?”

“Ah… Yes… Well, my name is Plush, that’s my wife Shiona and that’s our companion Ronnie.” I say while pointing to them one by one.

Shiona waved and said hi while Ronnie was still fast asleep.

“And as you know this is Lady Ike, the owner of our store, and I am Alexander from accounting.”

Ike waved her entire arm in an overly excited manner when she was introduced.

“Now then, let’s be on our way shall we? I believe it to be best if we leave your sleeping companion here, she looks like she could really need this rest.”

“Yeah, I have to agree with you on that one.”

Alexander, Shiona and I then walk out the door which we all came in through while Ike stayed to take care of Ronnie.

*creak* sounded the door as it closed.

“Hey alexander, is it normal for doors to creak so much in Endom?” I ask, slightly tired of never being able to open a door properly.

Alexander looks at me oddly for a moment before seemingly realizing something.

“Ah, you must be from out of the country then, well, yes I suppose that would explain it…”

“So… Does that mean there is a reason?”

“Actually yes. It’s due to an old folktale about monsters hiding behind closed doors and pouncing on their prey when the doors are opened, according to the folktale the sound of creaking door hinges scares off the creatures and has thus become a tradition.”

“I see...”

A while later we walk through a metallic door and stop in a small room.

“This is…?” Says Shiona worriedly.

Alexander then knocks on the door we came through three times before opening it again and leaving through it, we follow him and arrive in-

“?” x2

-the exact same corridor we were in before entering the room.

‘Not sure what I was expecting but…’

“Welcome back boss yes!”

“Yes yes?”

I turn around to see that Alexander had opened the same metallic door yet again, however now two familiar men stood on the other side of it.

I look at Shiona and see that her face is entirely drained of blood and pale as Ronnie’s gi.

“Yes? Customers from Straitley yes?”

“You know these two?” Asks Alexander the two yes-men.

“Yes! They purchased one slave in Straitley yes!”

“Is that so… That means you’ve already met these two, and for that I can only apologise.”

“Yes? Brother, boss is being mean again, yes?”

“Yes!” *sniffle*

“Oh shut it you two.”

“Yes!” “Yes?”

‘...Wait a moment, they called him boss!?”

“Could it be…?”

“Hm? Could it be what? If you wish to enquire something of me you will have to say what, I am no mind reader mister Plush.”

‘Mind reader? Ah! Book, write down mind reading magic on the notes page!’

The book on my back shook once as a response.

This was something Shiona had helped me come up with, whenever I get an idea I just ask the book to write it down for me.

‘That aside-’

“Could it be you’re the owner of the black market Alexander?”

“Ye-” Begins Alexander, only to stop mid sentence and glare at the two yes-men.

*Ahem* “I would have thought that to be quite obvious at this point no?”

“I… I guess?”

“Now then, you two get back to work while I show the customers the wares.”

“Ye-” Began the two men before promptly being hit in their respective heads.

“Now.” Said Alexander again, his voice filled with bloodlust as the two small round men practically bounced away without a care over how their boss just hit them.

They even kept up their merchant-like smile throughout the whole ordeal

“Ahem, may I see the list once more?” Asked Alexander who had returned to normal as soon as the two yes-men were gone.

* * * * *

“Thank you! Have a good day!” Cheered Ike from the store’s exit while waving frantically.

In the end they ended up having every single item we wanted, as well as a number of items that we didn’t come for but still bought purely due to impulse, like a potion brewing set, a whetstone for sharpening blades, a couple of rolls of fabric and a sewing set.

I may have become a bit loose with money.

“Well she was nice, even gave us a discount and everything.”

“... I suppose.”

“Something the matter Shiona?”

“No it’s nothing. Oh! Let’s go over there!” She says while pointing at a restaurant.

“Okay?” I say and we walk into the restaurant.

“Hello! Welcome to Biff’s beef, the only one hundred percent meat only restaurant in Logholm! A table for three I take it?”

“Yea-”

“Table for four!” Says Lizz as she comes out from the book.

“... Right. Table for four please”

“A-okay little buddy, but are you sure you can eat this stuff? Not to diss dolls but do you even have a mouth?”

“Yup.” I say, take out a homemade cracker from the pouch and eat it in front of her.

“Then one last thing you guys, we’ve got a reputation to keep so we’d appreciate it if you could leave the salad outside the dining area.”

“Salad?”

“Sorry, it’s one a rule for workers here, we have to call all plants salad.” Answers the receptionist and motions to Buddy.

Buddy?

“Oh shit! I completely forgot we had Buddy with us!”

“They named their salad?” Whispered the receptionist.

Shiona takes out Buddy from her hair and starts looking at me accusingly.

“How could you forget about Buddy!?”

As Shiona said that Buddy’s stem started to slacken as he took on his Leafling form once more.

“I’m sorry, he just hasn’t moved since we got him so I completely forgot…”

*sigh* Sighed Shiona.

“Ehm?” Voiced the Receptionist.

“Yes?”

Real soryy about that guys, I didn’t realize it was one of your companions. So… Does this mean I should change it to a table for five?”

“No, he can share with LIzz.”

“Oh come on!” Shouted Lizz in refutal, however no one listened to her.

“Well alrighty then. Steve!”

“I’m here!”

“Guide these to a table for four please.”

“Will do sis, right this way guys.” Said the man called Steve who had just appeared from a door as he guided us into the depths of the restaurant.