I arrive inside of Oliver’s house, and I find him staring at Ling’s bowl.

“Hey, Slade.” He says, his cheek resting in his open palm as he tilts his head. “Hey, man.” I greet him as I walk over and jump onto the stool opposite him. He was sitting over at his countertop. “So who did you say killed him again?” He asked. “Some kid named Demitallis.” He nodded and just continued to stare for a moment. “Weird… Another Demi, huh? Robin, you there?” He asked, and so she appeared, leaning against the same countertop as Oliver and I turned to look at her.

“I can’t bring him back, Oliver. If we’re lucky, Helvetica might let him into the underworld, but I doubt it.” She said, and Oliver sat up before shaking his head at her. “No- I just wanted to ask you something about your little sister, Demistar.” She nodded and folded her arms as she leaned against the wood beam connecting the counter to the ceiling. “Right. Demis. I guess you picked up on the name similarity?” She asked, and he kind of just shrugged. “No. Just a hunch, really. My gut’s tellin’ me there’s something weird going on with that kid.” Robin chuckles and swings herself around on the beam as she says: “Yeah, no kidding. Demistar’s been bugging Demitrivan every chance she gets about what’s actually going on. I mean, I’m sure you can tell Demistar’s always been a bit of an outlier, even in our small family, but now apparently her new best friend is suddenly important enough to make DEMITRIVAN shake.”

“Holy shit.” I say as I rest my arm on the counter. “Holy shit is right. Liyoxis won’t tell us anything either. Simply said that a huge change is coming up. I’m personally excited to finally get up into space and use my cool ass ships. I’ve been so curious as to what could possibly even be up there.” Oliver perks up at that, and holds up a finger. “Wait-” He begins, grabbing our attention.

“He’s planning to open up outer space? I thought that was slated for the next ten thousand years- Why the sudden change in plans?” Robin and I just stare at Oliver in surprise for a moment, until she answers- “No… I… guess things changed? Let me check.” She tells him as she looks away and starts rapidly snapping her fingers, obviously waiting for another body to get through a conversation with the guy in question. I won’t lie, I’m no better- Well okay I’m not AS terrible as Liyoxis, but I get why he does the things he does. I believe to some extent he orchestrated Sapien Supreme’s death. I mean, everything is because of Liyoxis, but I think he genuinely wanted Sapien out of the picture. Because space and stuff. I wonder if Oblivion’s death was because of him too.

Honestly, I kind of just like blaming everything on Liyoxis, he’s like this wonderful horse I can just keep kicking.

“I asked him, and he… told me the strangest thing. Did you know Orion used to have another moon?” She surprised us before we turned to look at her. “What?” Oliver asks. So he doesn’t know either. “Apparently, it fell down and formed into a natural ring around Orion’s orbit, and Liyoxis actually TURNED it into Hermes’ Ring. ‘Told me this happened some ten thousand years ago.” She then sighed and looked away. “I of course asked him what this at all had to do with his reason for changing his mind, but he then ordered me to go to a random museum I’ve never seen before and tilt EVERY painting in the building. So yeah, we’re not getting an answer.” That sounds about right. “That sounds about right.” I say as I place MY cheek in MY hand, making sure I look especially disappointed in response.

“ALRIGHT.” -Oliver, with a high pitched groan. “Let’s hear more about this friend killer.” He says, and I give a slightly amused look. “I told you she did it out of self defense.” He chuckles and sighs as he rubs the corner of his eyes. “First: I’ve watched you kill for less, Slade, and second: I know, I just want to know something about the kid who took my friend. You know, shed some light, recontextualize things. Ling didn’t exactly record for posterity, sadly.” He explained as I rubbed my chin and thought about how I would summarize this kid…

“Well, in all honesty. She’s not particularly remarkable. She’s a little quirky, but other than that she seems like a normal girl. She kind of reminds me of you in weird ways.” I explained and he raised an eyebrow as I pointed at him. “Similar in that she-” I shake my head. “Nah. I don’t think she’s from another world. Another timeline? Maybe. If she’s got connections to Demitrivan, then that would better explain where she came from.” Oliver nodded along curiously as I spoke, before I turned to look at Robin. “Any other connections we should be aware of?” I asked her, and she kind of just looked away before she started rapidly snapping her fingers. “Right.” I said as I looked at Oliver again. “Anyways. Demitallis from what I can tell, is pretty outgoing, and seems to have a deep love for excitement. So much so that it overpowers basic survival instincts. Also she’s a Puddle Kid. If I haven’t mentioned that.” I realize, and he snaps his own finger at me.

“Now THAT is interesting! Hey, Slade. What do you say we fuck with Liyoxis a little?” He asked, and I grinned as I leaned forward a little, grabbing Robin’s attention. “Oh yeah? You thinkin’ what I’m thinkin’?” I ask him. “Perhaps we go for a little hunt… Just for old times sake.” He tells me, a similar grin on his face as I pull my knees onto the stool. “Hell yeah… I’d love to-” Robin grabs both our shoulders, and Oliver chuckles nervously as he holds up his hands. “Joking, Robin. I’m not going to kill a kid just because they’re a monster I thought was entirely incapable of holding any type of complex thought or emotion.”

“Yeah, that part fucks with me the most.” I admit as I spin around and sit back against the counter, swinging my legs back forward again as I grip my head. “I mean, there was always a sort of detachment when killing those things. They never spoke, were hellbent on eating anything they could grab, and killing one was free hero-points. Bonus points if you manage to save someone from one.”

“Yeah, it sure was easy. It makes me feel bad because… despite how those things were monsters- Was all of the death necessary? How many could have been saved if we had done whatever resulted in Demitallis? Is that even replicable? Or did something else unforeseen happen?” Oliver asked as he leaned back and gripped the table. “It’ll haunt’cha.” I absently say. “All the way to the grave, old timer.”

“Hey, you and I both know we’re basically the same age at this point.” Oliver tells me, and I shrug as Robin takes a seat.

“Sorry guys, I couldn’t find anything.” I simply nod and look out the window into the endless expanse of the sanctuary. “The Templar… I still can’t believe they wanted to hunt down mutants over the Puddle Kids. I mean- Wasn’t pretty much every other part of Eve’s armies helping with the tragedy?” I check as I look back at Robin and Oliver over my shoulder, resting my forearm on the table. “The majority of them were on guard duty around the world, but her Templar had requested to take up the hunt for mutants. Lest things get out of hand. Other Contingents from all across Eve’s vast armies had apparently made similar requests, but it was the Templar who managed to come together in bulk.” She explained, making me grind my teeth as I rested my hand on the weapon I’ve used to tear apart SO many of them…

“Jeez. How many could have gone through?” Oliver decided to ask, out of what I can only assume is morbid curiosity. “Oh man- There were so many.” Robin folded her arms and glanced away. “From what I’ve heard, Eve had requests coming in from the armies of Valhalla itself. ‘Had the late Inquisitor Qlowqburk and his subsect within her Inquisition practically begging her to let them go after you guys. Multiple Generals from the Legionary Watch. The Equinox Assault Corps were one of the most insistent, as you can imagine. They were lining up with music in hopes they could convince her with song.” I roll my eyes as I pull out my weapon and look at it. “I’ve killed so damn many of those poor guys…” I mumble as I turn it back and forth in my hand, remembering how it would tear through them no matter how hard I blunted it. It’s not my most powerful weapon, of course. But it’s reliable…

“Demitallis… From what I can tell, she’s a good listener, and she’s kind. Killing Ling probably got to her in weird ways I probably don’t have the knowledge to comment on. I could tell one thing above anything else, though. And it’s that she was overly optimistic in that way really young kids are before they discover the nature of Orion.” I explain, surprising the two with the return to that previous conversation topic. Really, it’s a terrible thing that children can’t be kept safe. Worse that so many people just don’t care. What the Templar… ALL under the Pantheons of Valhalla have done in the name of their gods… That is something that is entirely unforgivable. Their realm has to be torn apart, for the good of everyone… Then hopefully, whatever religion takes its place, their gods will be better.

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“I guess I should feel somewhat bad for her.” Oliver sighed as he rubbed his head again. “Having to learn what this place is like the hard way. I mean, all things considered, I got off pretty easy. Like- I’ll never be okay with it, but I can deal with it personally, at least.” He finished as I jumped down from my stool, and put my sword away before walking to the front door again.

“I’m gonna head out. You guys wanna come with?” I asked, and after a quick glance at each other, they nodded and followed me out the door. “It’s been a while since we had a good adventure.” Oliver said as I climbed down the stairs. “I’ll come too. Should I get Colvara? We could get the old team back together.” Robin added as Oliver and I stepped onto the pavement and looked at her again. “Yeah, that would be great, actually.” Oliver says, and I immediately agree. I’ve missed this a little, going on adventures with them, it’s been a good long time.

For a few hundred years, in my twenties, I joined up with Oliver and Colvara. Robin joined up a little after me, and we kept hanging out until my fists could quite literally generate more energy with the force of my punch than a star does in its entire lifetime. What a time to be alive, when there were people who were genuinely just stronger than me- “She said no…” Robin said, her arms slack as we looked at her in shock- “What?! WHY?!” Oliver asked as his and our own arms went slack! “Apparently she’s too busy for adventures.” She grumbles, and I pound my fist into my hand.

“There’s only one thing to do here. Let’s T-P her house!” I declare as I point at the house I’m currently standing in front of! “But that’s MY house!” Oliver tells me, and Robin hands me a roll. “Let’s do it for fun anyway!” I then proceed to throw it, and it burns up in the sanctuary’s atmosphere… “I guess I can just throw them for you.” He chuckles before Robin hands him his own. Then we proceeded to T.P Oliver’s house, before either of us had the idea to ask Robin where Colvara actually is.

“BOOOH!!!” We all scream in unison, hands cupped over mouths as I am led to assume that Colvara is sitting in there alone working on her weird project with a twitch. “STOP BEING LAME!” I shout, and Oliver calls out to her next saying: “YOU DON’T ACTUALLY HAVE TO, WE’RE JUST BORED!” Then Robin raises a megaphone to her mouth and says: “MY DAD SAID YOU HAVE TO PLAY WITH US!!!”

“What are you guys up to?” Horonva asks us. We look over and she’s standing there with a confused look on her face. “Yo.” I deadpan with a wave, and Oliver walks over with a grin. “Hey Horonva.” Her eyes are drawn to his own. “We wanted to get the gang back together for an adventure, but Colvara decided to be a stick in the mud.” Her eyebrows went up with realization, and she looked at me and Robin, before focusing on Oliver again. “You never told me you’d been on adventures.” Oliver chuckled at that. “I guess you never asked.” Horonva smiled and held her hands together. “Well I’d love to hear some of them.”

“Colvara just let me know she’ll be out in a few hours, so I’m down.” Robin agreed as a chair morphed out of her backside and she sat on it. “Oh man. Where should I begin?” Oliver asked. He looked to the sky in wonder as he and I thought back on all of those great adventures we went on. I’ll just kick the ground here and get myself a good enough seat. Horonva had already sat down and was immediately ready to hear. If there’s one thing kids know, it’s that they MUST listen to their elders. ‘Gives them a better idea of just how dangerous the world is, and how powerful they could really become.

“Okay.” Oliver began as he looked at her, and held his arms apart. “One time, in my twelve-hundreds, when Colvara, Slade, and Robin and I were all adventuring together. But one day, we stumbled upon a portal leading to a hidden pocket dimension leading to a world of ash, brass superstructures ascending into the sky, with seas of lava as far as the eye could see. This world was known as the pit of brass and brimstone. Upon arrival we were assailed by multiple mechanical malcontents!”

“They burned my hand, so I punched them.” I tell her, and she giggles as I show off my fist with a leisurely grin of my own. “Yeah, they weren’t particularly strong, so Slade dealt with them quickly and we moved on. The place was fascinating, factories built into every crevice you could find, and as we descended into the bowels of this world, we unraveled a terrible plot to annex a small part of Unity’s empire. As you can assume, this wasn’t going to work, but there was a genuine attempt.” Oliver told her as she nodded along, and I placed my arms behind my head to let it relax. “Yeah-” I begin. “We fought all of these brass robots, and eventually met up with a militant team of Black Ops Agitators. They’re a type of low ranking specialist soldier in Unity’s primary military force.” I glanced at him as he quickly explained that, though I didn’t comment on the fact that he had assumed Horonva just wouldn’t know. I mean, I can’t see why she would, but you never know what somebody else might know.

“Anyways. We had a lot of fun there. There was this one time when Slade threw a giant- super tall building at this giant robot, slid down on it and screamed his name as a battlecry while Robin flew in behind him.” Robin stood up and revealed her wings. They’re segmented, with blades of energy that extend from these thin metal bars protruding from her back. “I was mostly covering him by shooting down energy waves before they could hit Slade. He might be impervious to pretty much anything, but it’s not exactly hard to throw him off his feet.” I rolled my eyes and folded my arms as she spoke, before I cut in after her. “Throw me around all you like, I can find my way back.”

“Ok here’s another adventure-” Oliver began as I leaned back in my spot. “So around four hundred years before that, we stumbled on a new dungeon- I say new, it was eighty years old, but we were the first to discover it-” He quickly clarified for Horonva, as though she would care about semantics like that. “Get on with it, man.” I tell him, and he chuckles before drawing a picture on a sheet of metal. “Anyways. This Dungeon was super cool, they had added a little gimmick to puzzle solving, by adding a scepter that can only be used in the dungeon. You see, you’re supposed to control these little robots that are provided to you, and you use them to solve the puzzles.” Ah. He’s talking about that one. I’ll cut in here too. “The first puzzle- You’re supposed to have the little robots shove a giant block, and I assumed that you’re supposed to shove the blocks. As soon as I shoved the first block, the Dungeon Core screeched at me.”

“Yeah, he really did.” Oliver chuckled as he finished drawing one of the little robots for Horonva. “He was so mad, because the puzzles were entirely built around using the control scepter. Obviously we didn’t want to upset the poor guy, so we decided to play by his rules.” Horonva nodded at that. She’s obviously been through a few dungeons of her own. They pop up all over the place all the time, and it’s considered ill mannered if you don’t play the game they put so much effort into. Not that everyone DOES, of course. Though in that case, most people just walk away. “By the time we found the dungeon, it was a labyrinth of nearly four hundred floors, with minor upgrades and mechanic changes every other floor, with new units to try out every eighty or so.” Oliver explained, before sighing and looking away. “Sadly, that dungeon was destroyed some twenty years later by another band of adventurers.”

“Some other group had gotten to them before I could.” I add in grimly as I lean forward and place a hand on my knee. Horonva chuckled nervously at that. “Well that’s a bit of a lackluster end to the fate of that dungeon.” Horonva commented, and Robin sighed this time before shrugging. “It’s just the way of things here on Orion. The only person who could have stopped it is Liyoxis, and I don’t think he even cared enough to acknowledge that Osiris even existed. That was his name, by the way. Osiris. We didn’t know him all that well, honestly. Just kind of met the guy, explored his dungeon, bid him farewell and left. It really does suck to lose a Dungeon Core trying something other than a shifting block puzzle or a hit the crystal puzzle for once. Like- Sure it’s not the most creative idea, but at least it’s not like the majority of everything else.”

Just a few moments after that explanation, Robin stood up and we all followed. “Alright, Colvara’s ready.” She told us as she did a little stretch, prompting Oliver and I to do the same. “Aw…” Horonva groaned. “You better tell me about that adventure when you get back.” She tells Oliver, and he nods as I walk between him and Horonva over to greet Colvara at the door. As expected, the door swings open in front of me, and the woman in question perks up at me. “There you are, Slade. I finished upgrading your Phase-Shifter.” She tells me, and I hold my hand out- “Ah… Yes… Now hopefully it'll be able to keep up with me.” I mutter in delight as she places a wristwatch on my hand, and I quickly equip it. I have a TON of equipment for dealing with almost any situation I can’t just punch. Which often ends up being most situations… This wristwatch Colvara made for me has about twelve different functions in of itself. “Nah. I could only boost the timing by eight times, so I doubt it’s anywhere near you.”

“That’s a lot better anyways. Thanks, Colvara.” I tell her as Oliver and Robin approach behind us. “Is this what you were busy with- Wait. Slade. Did you have us shout at her, fully knowing she was working on this for you?” He asks, and I absently chuckle as I activate it. “Robin?” I ask, and she nods before taking a step back. The Wristwatch locks onto her, and begins adjusting my dimensional-frequency in conjunction with her own. I take a few swings at her with my sword, and we speed up until my sword phases through. “Yep, it’s working at expected parameters. You guys ready for that adventure?” She asks as our dimensional frequencies re-align on their own.

I turn around and look at Oliver and Colvara. “I can’t believe you threw toilet paper all over your own house, Oliver.” Colvara said, making him laugh before I cut in with the best quote. “What was that show you liked from your old world called again? Adventuring Time? It’s time for that.” I tell them, making Oliver slap his forehead as I rehearse my favorite joke since learning about this Television Show from another world.

End of Chapter: 1√G “Storytime with Slade.”

Thank you for reading.